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When Parents Beg Their Kids To Believe | Khutbah
In this khutbah, Dr. Omar Suleiman discusses how Allah captures the painful pleas of parents who wish their children would believe, as well as the mindset that may lead someone who was born and raised a believer to reject their parents.
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Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for him. We bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him, and those that follow in his blessed path until the day of judgment. And we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen. Dear brothers and sisters, there is nothing more beautiful than the succession of Islam, the succession of belief from parent to child, and then from parent to child, and from parent to child. And in many ways, we are looking around at these communities being developed. You know, subhanAllah, just on my way in here, noticing all of the masajids that have been built and seeing so many people. We are the fruits of that succession from the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and the companions. That at some point, even if you are the first person to convert to Islam, in your particular bloodline, at some point there is a da'ia, there is a caller to Islam that came from a caller to Islam, there is a convert, there is a point where it dropped off and then it picked back up. But there is nothing more beautiful than when you can trace that line and you can see the succession of belief and faith. And what I mean by that is that in many ways, when you see worldly success, when you see that the children have followed the parents' footsteps and then their children have followed, and you start to have a heritage that represents some sort of value and the upliftment of something that is great. And when you look in the Qur'an, you find that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala speaks to that from the perspective of Ibrahim alayhi wasallam. Of the du'as of Ibrahim alayhi wasallam were the multiple du'as that he made for his offspring.
The multiple du'as that he made for the succession of Islam within his own loins and the succession of Islam on this earth and the purity of every generation to come from that which contradicts the monotheism that he upheld. You see it in almost every single one of his du'as, his insistence that this be something that goes on beyond him. And you find that Ibrahim alayhi wasallam is calling his children to him at the time of his death and what a long life and a difficult life and eventful life he lived. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, وَوَصَىٰ بِهَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ بَنِيهِ وَيَعْقُوبُ Ibrahim alayhi wasallam and his son Ya'qub called their children to them and they give them a wasiyyah. What is that wasiyyah? What is that will? What is it that they're impressing upon them at the end of their lives? يَا بَنِيَّ إِنَّ اللَّهَ اصْطَفَىٰ لَكُمُ الدِّينِ O my children, Allah has chosen for you this religion of Islam. فَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ Don't die except that you are Muslims. Don't die except that you're on this faith. Now this isn't some sort of regret that Ibrahim alayhi wasallam has at the time of his death where suddenly it impresses upon him like I really messed up with my kids. My kids and my grandkids have left the faith and they no longer have anything to do with Islam and now as I'm leaving I'm feeling this overwhelming sense of guilt and so I need to try to salvage what I've been missing my entire life. This was Ibrahim alayhi wasalam reaffirming what he has been affirming to his children for their entire lives and to his grandchildren for their entire lives and that's an important distinction to make. Why? Because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala covers through the life of Ibrahim alayhi wasalam
the life of a parent who prayed for his kids, the life of a parent who worked with his kids because he's building the Kaaba with Ismail alayhi wasalam just a few ayat before that, the life of a parent who was sincere to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and didn't have a speck of hypocrisy which could be sniffed out. Ibrahim alayhi wasalam represented sidq, truthfulness, sincerity and the life of a parent who now is sitting with his children in his last moments and saying, يَا بَنِيَّ إِنَّ اللَّهَ اصْطَفَى لَكُمُ الدِّينُ My children I remind you that before I give you the wasiyya about our businesses, our land, this and that or anything worldly, the main thing I want you to remember is that we were sent here for tawheed, we were sent here for that call of la ilaha illallah. Stay upon that until your death. And how beautiful Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, أَمْ كُنْتُمْ شُهَدَاءَ إِذْ حَضَرَ يَعْقُوبَ الْمَوْتِ And then Ya'qub alayhi wasalam comes, you know, and Ya'qub alayhi wasalam is speaking to his children, ما تَعْبُدُونَ مِنْ بَعْدِ What are you going to worship after me? So now the succession comes. And this isn't the son of Ibrahim, this is the grandson. So it's succession to succession to succession. Oh my children, what will you worship after me? قَالُوا نَعْبُدُ إِلَهَكَ وَإِلَهَ آبَائِكَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَإِسْمَعِيلَ وَإِسْحَاقَ We're going to worship your Lord and the Lord of our fathers, Ibrahim and Ismail and Ishaq. They even are able to replay even if they never lived with Ismail, it became their identity. It was Sibagat Allah, it was the brand that they had. They grew up with that. We're going to worship your Lord, we're going to worship the Lord of Ibrahim,
we're going to worship the Lord of our uncle Ismail, we're going to worship the Lord of our grandfather Ishaq. إِلَهَا وَاحِدًا وَنَحْنُ لَهُمُ مُسْلِمُونَ One God and we are to Him Muslims. It's a beautiful thing. Then you carry that on to Yusuf Alayhi Salaam. Where Yusuf Alayhi Salaam at the time of his death is saying, تَوَفَّنِي مُسْلِمًا وَأَلْحِقْنِي بِالصَّالِحِينَ Let me die a Muslim and follow the righteous. That's four generations. And the thing that they brand themselves with in the Quran, in their du'as, in their actions is we want to live and die as Muslims. We want to be believers. That that was the priority that was set for us by our parents and our grandparents and our great-grandparents. And we have seen the beauty and the impact of it in their lives. Ishaq and Ismail saw it in their father Ibrahim. Ya'qub saw it in Ishaq and Ismail. The children of Ya'qub saw the sincerity of their father. They saw the du'as of their father. They witnessed his worship. And so it wasn't just some sort of earnest supplication. It was a lifetime that matched that du'a that was self-evident. To where every one of those kids wanted to carry the exact same identity and the exact same mission. Now here's the thing. Someone might say, well, I tried. I'm trying. It is very hard. You have to deal with competing environments. You have to deal with the culture wars. You have to deal with political pressure. You have to deal with social pressure. You've got to deal with all sorts of things that are trying to undermine that very identity of Islam and that's what makes it so much more important to make that the number one priority in your house and to make sure that in word and deed,
the idea that Islam will survive in our loins, amongst our descendants, is the greatest priority. That you put that before everything else and that they can't see any hypocrisy in your way of living Islam. Now there's a very painful conversation that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala gives us then in Surah Al-Ahqaf because some of you will correctly say, we tried and our children are not holding on to it the way we want them to hold on to it. We're struggling. And we know the story of Nuh Alayhi Salam and his son. When Nuh Alayhi Salam calls out to his son in a very painful way to ride with him, to come along, and his son stays back on something that he feels is more tangible, is more anchoring. He thinks the mountain is safer and more comfortable and that it will save him from the flood. And he's wrong. And we find this through the legacy of some of the greatest scholars of Islam that they taught Islam to the masses and Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala tested them in their own children. A very painful conversation that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala gives to us in Surah Al-Ahqaf. وَالَّذِي قَالَ لِوَالِدَيْهِ أُفٍّ لَكُمَا أَتَعِدَانِنِي أَنْ أُخْرَجَ وَقَدْ خَلَتِ الْقُرُونُ مِنْ قَبْنِي When you have a son or a child that says to their parents, أُفٍّ لَكُمَا Leave us alone. أَتَعِدَانِنِي أَنْ أُخْرَجَ Are you really telling me that there is life after death? Are you really telling me that there is anything beyond this life? Are you still talking about this? Are you still talking about don't do this and don't do that and hold on to this and hold on to that? وَقَدْ خَلَتِ الْقُرُونُ مِنْ قَبْنِي And generations have come before us.
وَهُمَا يَسْتَغِيثَانِ اللَّهَ وَيْلَكَ آمِنٍ And the parents cry out and they say, believe. وَيْلَكَ آمِنٍ See, by nature in this verse, by the way, these are righteous parents. We can tell, we can infer from this verse, these are righteous parents. These are not bad parents. These are righteous parents that are speaking to their children and pleading with their children. وَيْلَكَ آمِنٍ إِنَّ وَعْدَ اللَّهِ حَقٌّ Believe, woe to you, believe. The promise of Allah is true. Now, the way that the child then dismisses the parents lends itself to a mindset. فَيَقُولُ مَا هَذَا إِلَّا أَسَاطِيرُ الْأَوَّلِينَ Says, these are all just old stories. Stop telling us about these old backwards stories. Stop telling us about these fables. Stop telling us about this stuff in the sky and this stuff. It's not real, mom. It's not real, dad. I've got to focus on this and focus on that. And this is more compelling to me and my friends and my environment and my priorities and my career. And Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala says, أُولَٰئِكَ الَّذِينَ حَقُّ عَلَيْهِمُ الْقَوْلِ Unfortunately, when they follow that path, then the statement that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala has pronounced upon them follows them. And it's so powerful because Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala says, فِي أُمَمٍ قَدْ خَلَتْ مِنْ قَبْلِهِمْ مِنَ الْجِنِّ وَالْإِنسِ إِنَّهُمْ كَانُوا خَاسِرِينَ And they follow, you know, what were they denying? They were saying to their parents that, are you telling us to believe and people have died before us and nothing happened to them? And Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala is saying, now you're being joined in punishment with those that came before you from the jinn and the ins, from human beings and jinn that denied just like you. And what a party of losers they become.
This conversation lends itself to something very powerful. And first and foremost, I want to acknowledge here that this is not an easy struggle. And some of you that are sitting here as parents, this is the struggle of your life. I ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala to answer your dua in regards to your children. I ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala to guide your children back. I ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala to keep all of our children firm upon لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله I know that this is a struggle in our community and this is a struggle that many of us face and it's the worst fear even for those that aren't facing it presently. What if my kids don't follow? What if my kids don't attain the exact same thing that I've set for them? And I want to unpack insha'Allah ta'ala a bit of this mindset in a few minutes. Number one, make sure that your children see that your care and concern is for them and not for the shame that comes in this life should they disbelieve. It's actually a very powerful commentary on this verse that some of the scholars make that this conversation where the parents are speaking to the children وَيْلَكَ آمَنِ إِنَّ وَعْدَ اللَّهِ حَقٌّ Woe to you, believe, the promise of Allah is true, is for them. Don't put yourself in a compromising situation with your Lord. Don't do something that's going to cause you to suffer the consequences in the hereafter. I'm not just worried about what people are going to say or my dunya consequences because we're thinking in ways that are beyond this material world. I'm not thinking about reputation, I'm thinking about your resurrection. وَيْلَكَ آمَنِ إِنَّ وَعْدَ اللَّهِ حَقٌّ The promise of Allah is true. So the concern for your children should be evident in your pleas towards them. The second thing, make sure that you are distinguishing between aqeedah and adat, creed and culture. Because if you're trying to pass down all of that in one singular package of creed and culture
and they're able to find something that is flawed in the culture, they may attribute that flaw in culture to the flaw of creed and reject the whole thing. Make sure that you're not trying to pass it all down to them as one package. There is a primary thing that you are trying to pass down to them. And by the way, there is nothing wrong with trying to pass down good culture. The only thing that's wrong is to try to pass down something negative about culture. There is nothing wrong about wanting your children to speak the language that you spoke, to uphold some of the culture that you upheld. There is nothing wrong with any of that unless it contradicts Islam. But what's the primary thing you're handing down to them? Make sure that it's evident that you're separating. When Ibrahim A.S. was speaking to his kids and Yaqub was speaking to his kids, and Ibn Hanbal was speaking to his kids, Yusuf A.S. to his kids, they're making it very clear that look, there is Islam and there is everything else. And sometimes when you bundle that all together, then you end up diluting the Tawheed part of it. So you separate that and say, listen, this is the main thing, this is the most important thing to me. And even in the worldly expectations that you place upon them, in terms of the natural expectations a parent should have of their child. They want their children to succeed in the worldly sense and in the sense of the hereafter. But don't dilute that primary call that I want you to be Muslim. I want you to be a believer. I want you to discover the beauty of this faith. And I'm going to invest in you. And I'm going to show you through my concern and through my practice what Islam looks like and how important it is to me in my life. But don't let them find a flaw. Don't let them point out a discrepancy. Don't let them identify the dilution. Why? Because if you are telling them, I want you to be Muslim and I want you to succeed in the hereafter, but they see from you character deficiency and failure and harshness
and things that contradict the very things you are warning them about that actually show them Islam in light of the worldly consequences that are negative. That Islam is actually leading me to act in a negative way. If that's what they're seeing, then they're going to be able to hop on that and it's going to dilute the message for them. So the concern, the character of Islam in your life, the way that you live, and not diluting that call of tawheed with the worldly concern, with the cultural concerns that you have as you're passing down to them. That the main thing is I want you to be righteous and I want to invest in that. And I want that for you because I want you to succeed. I want you to succeed because I love for you that which is good. And Subhanallah, you'll find here, and this is now to the other side of that, children who have been blessed to have parents that raised them upon La ilaha illallah Muhammadun Rasulullah, but find this urge within them to reject because I want to figure it out on my own. I'm trying to discover the world on my own. I'm trying to figure out life myself. I'm trying to live outside of my parents' shadow. Realize that if you had parents that raised you upon La ilaha illallah Muhammadun Rasulullah and brought you to the masjid, you had a head start because that wasn't a given for everyone in this life. And don't do something that will harm yourself so that you can craft your own identity in this life. Take the time to actually ponder upon the blessing that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala gave to you and you got a head start if you had that blessing of parents that taught you La ilaha illallah Muhammadun Rasulullah. And if there was a discrepancy on their part, you don't have to inherit the discrepancy. If there was a cultural dilution on their part, you don't have to inherit the cultural dilution
because some people had to find the creed through every single obstacle that exists in this world and they still found it and committed themselves to it. You don't have to inherit those parts but to put at the forefront of your mind that you know what, at some point, it's not my parents that are going to wake me up for salah anymore. It's not my parents that are going to tell me you need to go to the masjid anymore. It's not my parents that are going to tell me haram and halal anymore. At some point, you're going to have to do that from your own motivation. At some point, you're going to have to take that on as a personal call for yourself. And at some point, you have to be driven by your success in this life and the hereafter by wanting the best possible outcome for you. And if you reduce this all to asatir al-awaleen, that this is all just the fables of the past, that this is all just nonsense, that these are all just things that people pass down from generation to generation, then clearly you have not studied that text. If you only received it as stories, then you might just reduce it to stories. At some point, you have to approach the Qur'an for yourself. At some point, you have to approach the seerah yourself. At some point, you have to approach the sunnah yourself. And if you had parents that taught you la ilaha illallah, muhammadun rasulullah, say alhamdulillah for that because that is a great blessing and a great favor that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has bestowed upon you. And for those of you that found la ilaha illallah, muhammadun rasulullah, despite having parents that taught you otherwise, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless you because you are the demonstration of a great blessing in this life. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala rewards you for that struggle. You see, this bounty comes with a consequence. And you have to be answerable to it on your own. And I want you to think insha'Allah ta'ala as you read these verses of the parent and the child,
that very quickly this equation shifts at some point in your life. And that's why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says just a few verses before that, the beautiful story, the story of Ibrahim, Ishaq, and Ya'qub, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, This verse that comes before and because of time, I'll summarize it very quickly. If you can't believe in the stories of the past, know that your past is a past that's also unseen to your mother when she had you in her womb. And then gave birth to you and then nursed you and then you grew up. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is saying, honor that womb, honor your parents. And Allah says many people don't do that until they reach the age of 33 or they reach the age of 40. And then they're looking back at life and they see so much of what their parents told them to come has come. So much of what they were taught, so much of the I told you so is now I'm living so. And you're now repeating the same things to generations after you. Watch out. Be careful. Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. You're now living on the opposite side of that. Hata idha balagha ashuddahu wa balagha arba'een sana. Qala rabbi awzi'ni an ashkura ni'mataka allati an'amta alayhi wa ala waliday. Says, oh my Lord, grant me the ability to properly thank you for the blessing you bestowed upon me and my parents. What blessing is he talking about here? The blessing of the house, the blessing of the family business, the blessing? No, the blessing of Islam, the blessing of faith. Wa an a'mala salihan tardaa. And let me do deeds. Let me do deeds now that are pleasing to you.
Because when you were growing up, your parents were the ones that were telling you to do deeds that are pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Let me now do the things that are pleasing to you. Wa aslih li fee dhurriyati. And rectify my offspring. Inni tubtu ilayk wa inni minan muslimeen. And now I've repented to you. I am from the Muslims. There is that affirmation at that point. I am from the Muslims. But to the young people in here and that are listening, you might not live to see 33 and 40. You might not live to see that age. Recognize that blessing earlier. Therefore, you can properly thank Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for it at whatever stage you are in life. And get a head start the way that your parents gave you a head start. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us all to be grateful for the blessing of Islam that he has bestowed upon us. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us to live it in such a way that the people around us, the people amongst us, the people that come after us would want to commit themselves to it as sincerely if not more than we are to it. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us to live and die as Muslims, as believers. Allahuma ameen. I say this and I ask Allah to show you the message of the Muslims, so ask forgiveness. He is the Forgiving, the Merciful. Alhamdulillah. Salat wa salamu ala Rasulullah wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man wala. As we stop to make dua today, dear brothers and sisters, as you follow the aggression in Jenin against our brothers and sisters in Palestine, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala uplift them and make it easy for them and grant them victory over their oppressors.
Remember them in your dua and remember the oppressed Muslims wherever they are around the world. May Allah help our oppressed brothers and sisters in the east and west. May Allah honor Islam and Muslims and humiliate shirk and liars and destroy the enemies of religion. May Allah destroy the oppressors of the oppressors and bring us out of them as safe. O servants of Allah, may Allah command justice and kindness and grant us nearness and forbid immorality and wrongdoing. He warns you that you may remember. So remember Allah, He remembers you and thank Him for the blessings that increase for you. And the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows what you do. Alaykum as-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.
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