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Negative Speaking and Belittling Blessings | Khutbah
In this khutbah, Dr. Omar Suleiman explores why how we speak about things greatly impacts how we think and live. The Prophet ﷺ cautioned about belittling a blessing of Allah and being negative about the things around you.
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Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for him. And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him, and those that follow in his blessed path until the day of judgment. And we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen. Dear brothers and sisters, there's something deeply profound about the way that the prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam used to speak about his circumstances. And many times there is a connection between how we speak about things and how we think about things. And if we speak in a negative way, then our circumstances will almost always follow, even if they're beautiful. And that's why you could have two people with the exact same set of circumstances, and one of them, if you ask them how they're doing, they will praise the good of their circumstances and another person will speak to you as if they're Ayub alayhis salam, as if they have the worst life in the world and the most difficult moments in their lives. Two people with the same circumstances. Ibrahim alayhis salam, the prophet Ibrahim, when he visited his son Ismail alayhis salam in Mecca, he visited him twice, and the first time Ibrahim alayhis salam visited, he sees a wife of Ismail alayhis salam and asks her how she's doing, and all she pointed to were the negativities, the hardships that they had. And then he comes back later on, and I'm paraphrasing the story, and finds that Ismail alayhis salam has married a more righteous woman in her place, asks about her circumstances, and she praises everything that they have, even though it is the exact same set of circumstances. So it's not about the circumstances, it was about how they were experiencing those circumstances, and then speaking about those circumstances,
and there is a connection between the two. So much so that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, and we often kind of brush over this very quickly, وَأَمَّا بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ فَحَدِّثُ As for the blessing of your Lord upon you, speak of it. Say alhamdulillah for it, thank Allah for it, and be very conscious about how you speak about it. You know when you take your sip of water, and you say alhamdulillah, did you actually just internalize alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah for the sip of water. Thank you Allah for the sip of water. There is something very powerful about that. That is a tahadduth binimatillah, speaking about the ni'mah of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. There is another hadith that we often quote partially, and I wanted to just focus on the last part because it is very profoundly connected to this, and get to the person of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam first and how he dealt with this. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, look to those who have less than you, not to those who have more than you. Why? Because that will make you more content with what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given to you. Stop looking at those who have more than you, look to those who have less than you. And the last part of that hadith, in some narrations is, wa la tazdaru ni'mat Allah, or wa la tazdaru ni'mat Allahi alaykum. Do not belittle the blessings that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has bestowed upon you. Meaning one part of the hadith is what you are looking at, the other part of the hadith is how you are talking about things. Wa la tazdaru ni'mat Allahi alaykum. Don't belittle, don't use words that belittle a blessing that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given to you. And this speaks to the small things in life, as well as the large things in life. This speaks to our negative self-talk and positive self-talk. This speaks to how we interact with our families. This speaks to how we interact with our communities. This speaks to optimism and pessimism. This speaks to all of those different things.
Wa la tazdaru ni'mat Allahi alaykum. Don't you dare belittle a blessing that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has bestowed upon you. So how does that start with the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam first? I want you to just think about this hadith and sit with it for a bit. maaAAabannabiyu sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taAAaman qat. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never once criticized food that was on his plate. He never criticized a morsel of food that was on his plate. Now if you sit for a moment with that and think about this man ruled how much of the world? sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Power, prestige, and think about our own lives. If you've gone through hard times and good times, you get a little bit more selective with your blessings. Selective with your food. You rarely find people that eat to function, eat to live, criticizing their food. The bread was overcooked today. The bread was... No, no. But for us we start doing yelp in our heads on every single plate of food that we eat. Right? Reviewing everything that we eat. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam maaAAabatAAaman qat. Do you know how amazing that is? That he never once pointed to a flaw in his food. He never once said it's too salty. I don't like it. I didn't enjoy this. maaAAabannabiyu sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taAAaman qat. Not once did he ever criticize his food. Something that sounds so small, but how hard is it to practice? When's the last time you criticized your food? It might have been lunch before you got here, right? Think about that. Despite his position, whether it was a host from the outside of his home, or whether it was what his spouse put forward, whether it was someone who was from the poorest of society, or someone who was from the elite of society, if you put a garment in front of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, if you gave him a shirt, or if you put a plate in front of him, maaAAabahu sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
He would never point out a flaw in it. He would simply be grateful for it. And subhanAllah, look at the power of how this transforms things. We just finished speaking about Jabir ibn Abdullah radiyaAllahu anhu, and a story that he had with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, where he said he grabbed me by the hand and he took me to his house so we could eat together, and all they had in his house were some dried pieces of bread. They dumped them on the ground in front of him, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, is there anything to dip the bread in? He said, you know, the only udum, the only dip we have is al khal, just some vinegar. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, ni'mal udum. What a great dip vinegar is. I mean, just right away. He didn't belittle it. He didn't say, oh, you know, I wish we had some honey. No. Ni'mal udum. I love vinegar. Put the vinegar in front of us. Let's dip the vinegar. And Jabir said, I started loving vinegar too. And then Talha radiyaAllahu anhu, a narrator from Jabir radiyaAllahu anhu said, I started loving vinegar too. And then the narrator from Talha says, I started loving vinegar too. Because it was a mindset. It was a shift. This is good. Alhamdulillah. Allah put something to dip our bread in. That's a mindset. That is a tahadduth bi ni'matillah. To speak of a blessing of Allah. Wa la tazdaru ni'matillah. Don't belittle it. Don't be like, oh man, this is dry. It's old. It's this. It's that. No. Alhamdulillah. It's a blessing and I'm pleased with it. Alhamdulillah. And if that's with the small things, what about the big things? Right? What about the people in our lives? What about the circumstances in our lives that are far more consequential than the bites of food that we have? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, speaking about marriage, since everyone likes to quote the other person's hadith on them, husbands and wives. There's actually an implementation of this hadith for both and it's almost identical. Subhanallah. The hadith in Sahih Muslim. La yafrak mu'minun mu'mina. In kariha minha khuluqan, radiya minha aakhir. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
let not a believing man despise a believing woman, meaning his wife. Don't talk your wife down. In kariha minha khuluqan. If he doesn't like something about her, a quality that she has. She might have a certain thing that he doesn't like about her. Radiya minha aakhir. Then he likes something else about her. Speak about that thing. Don't speak about the thing you don't like. Focus on what you like and extol it. No one's perfect and you're not perfect either. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said about women to men. He said sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, innahun yakfurn. That they show ingratitude when a husband makes one mistake and she says ma ra'aytu minka khayran qat. I never once saw anything good from you. You've never done anything good. So she denies everything and focuses on the fault. Now subhanallah, ma ra'aytu minka khayran qat. Like I've never done anything good. Fine, I'm not going to do anything then. The attitude shuts off both sides, right? Well, you're never going to be happy and you're never going to be happy. So why even try now? Trying to live up to anything because your standards are impossible. Both sides are operating from the same spiritual disease by the way. Tazdarun ni'mat Allah. You're belittling a blessing of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Allah blessed you with a quality. Allah blessed you with an action in that other person. You fail to extol it and you extol the bad quality. The bad quality dominates them and you're stuck with it. Who suffers? You do. When do you see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam belittling Aisha radiyaAllahu ta'ala anha? When do you see him belittling before that Khadija radiyaAllahu anha? Where do you see him doing that sallallahu alayhi wa sallam? He didn't used to do that. Don't look at the thing that's wrong and extol it. No. Wa la tazdarun ni'mat Allahi alaykum. Extol the blessing. Extol the good thing. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will make it more dominant in your life. Even just through your perspective, through your perception.
And what made the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam so amazing in this regard is that even in the most bleak circumstances he had something positive to say. Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Hudaybiyyah. They're literally facing a potential massacre. And Quraish sends Suhail ibn Amr radiyaAllahu anhu, who becomes Muslim later on. And a great companion. But at that time he was the chief negotiator. And the Sahaba see him and go, oh God. Suhail ibn Amr. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam smiles and he says, sahilu amruna. His name is Suhail which means easy. Allah just made our affairs easy for us. Something good is going to come out of this. Just look at his name. His name is Suhail. His name is easy. So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala surely is giving us a sign that he's about to send ease our way. That's a tafa'ul. That's looking at things and trying to see something to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for. Finding the good and praising it. That's not being naïve. That's not being reckless. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, oh no need to do anything else. No, that's seeing something good and saying alhamdulillah. There's something there. Alhamdulillah. There's something in the small morsel of food. There's something in the major tragedy. Something there I can find and praise. When you constantly have that negative lens, you're only messing it up for yourself. And you're going to mess it up for people around you as well. Because negativity is contagious. And subhanallah, what we find often is how that translates generationally by the way. You know, the next generation is listening to their parents constantly putting down the blessings of Allah upon them. Then you give your six year old an iPhone 10. I don't know why, but you choose to give your six year old an iPhone 10. And the six year old, you know, you say, oh you got an iPhone 10. Well, you know, yeah, my friend has a 12. They immediately go to that. وَلَا تَزْدَرُوا نِعْمَةَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ You're belittling a blessing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bestowed to you. Don't do that. And that transitions.
Transitions from generation to generation because it becomes contagious. And with the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, look how contagious his gratitude was. Because if he's grateful for that, who am I to not be grateful for it? If he's grateful for that vinegar, who am I not to be grateful for it? Because he deserves more than I ever deserved salallahu alayhi wa sallam. And if he's pleased, I too am pleased. وَلَا تَزْدَرُوا نِعْمَةَ اللَّهِ Do not belittle a blessing that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has bestowed upon you. وَأَمَّا بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ فَحَدِّثْ Speak, reflect on the blessings of Allah in your life with yourself and with the people around you. And make that contagious that we say alhamdulillah. And do not point out flaws. Make it a habit. A lot of people say, well this is behavior. I've been like this. I always go to the negative. I immediately resort to the negative. It's not something that can change overnight. That's true. But you know when the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam says to us to even focus on the small things, the daily things, slowly that change can come insha'Allah ta'ala. Slowly that change can come where you even adjust yourself to say alhamdulillah for something that is very, very, very small and something that other people would belittle. So catch yourself and try to adjust yourself in that way. To always say alhamdulillah for the small good that you can find even if it doesn't seem that great at the moment. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala might change that good to great and that might then color the other circumstances and allow for other things to be granted to you. وَلَا إِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ If you are grateful, I will increase you. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala increase us first and foremost in iman. May Allah increase us in faith. May Allah increase us in certainty. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala increase us in perspective. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala increase us in our ability to see blessings
so that when He blesses us, it becomes a blessing for us in the hereafter as well. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us from the grateful and the patient. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us from the thankful. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us when we belittle any ni'ma that He has given to us, especially the ni'ma of al-Islam. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala never make us amongst those that belittle the blessing of faith that He has given to us. May Allah never allow us to look at someone who has a blessing of this dunya and envy them while He has given us the greatest blessing of this deen. And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala keep us on that ni'ma of deen until the moment that He takes us. Allahuma ameen. Aqoolu qawli hadha wa astaghfirullah li walakum wa risala al muslimeen. Faistaghfiru innahu al-ghafoor al-raheem. Alhamdulillah. As-salatu was-salamu ala rasulillahi wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man wala. Waqim as-salam. Al-Fatiha.
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