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How Would The Prophet ﷺ Advise You? | Khutbah
What techniques did the Prophet ﷺ use to give effective advice? Have you ever wondered what advice he would give specifically to you?
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Dear brothers and sisters, one of the most sensitive subjects when you talk about the rights of a Muslim on another Muslim is this concept of nasiha. This concept of advice, sincere advice. And the most sincere advisor that has ever been sent to us was none other than our messenger, salallahu alayhi wasalam. Until now, the sincere advice of the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, lives with us and it guides us and it pushes us forward. And the example of the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, is so clear in every way. Who he was, what he represented, what he said, what he expected of us. That you cannot reduce the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, to just a silent symbol. You can't turn the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, into an image that you merely bring out every once in a while. And you appropriate and turn into all sorts of different things because who he was, salallahu alayhi wasalam, is so well documented. And the advice that he gave to us and the commands that he gave to us are so clear that there is no going astray except for the one who insists on doing so when it comes to the message and the messenger, salallahu alayhi wasalam. So when we talk about this concept of nasiha, this concept of advice and the rights of a Muslim on another Muslim, this was not something that the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, just left from himself to us, but rather the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, mentioned that goodness will prevail in this nation so long as we continue to sincerely advise one another. And Allah mentions this as well. They enjoin one another in good, they forbid one another from evil, they enjoin one another in patience, they keep each other steadfast, we keep each other in check and we keep each other motivated, we keep each other inspired, and we keep trying to collectively strive.
And that's going to require conversations between us at times to push us back and say, look, you know, it might be better for you to think about this. And I've noticed this and things of that sort. But it's also a very sensitive area. Why? Because to give nasiha in the wrong way can actually have the exact opposite effect of nasiha, which means sincere advice. Either it's not sincere or it's just not well-delivered advice. Or people don't want to hear advice anymore. You know, when we're striving towards individualism constantly and being told that that is the fullest way to live, just come, you know, be yourself and everything is about yourself and everything revolves around nafsi, nafsi, myself, myself, then when anyone tries to poke a hole in what you are creating as a vision for yourself, then that person is automatically an intruder on your space. And so you're going to treat them with hostility, even if they're coming to you with full sincerity. That's why Abdullah Mubarak, rahimallah, one of the great scholars of this deen, he was told, how come you don't give us advice anymore? How come you don't tell us what we need to hear? How come you don't give us advice? He says, is there anyone that's looking for advice? Is there anyone that's actually searching for it? So it is a precious gem that exists amongst us to be sought and to be given all in accordance with and with the aim of getting closest to the directions of the most sincere advisor sent to us, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So you find the hadith of Abu Huraira radiallahu anhu, where the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam mentioned the rights that we have on one another, to return salam to one another, to say salam and return salam, the greeting of peace, to visit one another when we are sick, to follow the funeral processions of one another, to pray janazah on one another, to follow the funeral processions, to answer the invitations of one another, to respond to the sneeze when someone says alhamdulillah, you say yurhamukallah, may Allah have mercy on you,
you wish them well. And finally in one narration the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, إذا استنصحك فانصح له. If your brother or your sister seeks advice from you, give them sincere advice. Now I'm going to get to a very specific advice at the end of this khutbah inshallah ta'ala. But before that, the methodology, the techniques, the way the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam used to give nasiha, period. And first and foremost, he exemplifies the best of what is from the Quran. Because he is a walking Quran, Sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And so when the Quran says to call to the way of your Lord, بالحكمة والمعظة الحسنة, with wisdom and with beautiful preaching, the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam was the greatest manifestation of that. And you find that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us that advice is to be given in the best of ways even to the worst of people. We're not even talking about between brothers and sisters. And that's why Abdul Malik ibn Marwan rahimahullah ta'ala, a man came to him and he told to him that, he said to him that I'm going to give you advice that is more severe, a shaddu min as-salt, that is more severe than a whip. I'm about to talk to you in a way that is more severe than the whip. And he responded to him and he said to him, am I worse than Firaun? He said no. He said, and are you better than Musa alayhi salam? He said no. He said, but Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala told Moses to speak to the Pharaoh, Musa alayhi salam to speak to the Firaun, with what? فَقُولَ لَهُ قَوْلًا لَيِّنَا Speak to them with the right words, with lenient words that maybe they would be reminded. They would change their ways. So Musa and Harun were given that instruction. And so you find that from the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam. The overall spirit of generosity, that when he was giving you advice, he put his own ego to the side, Sallallahu alayhi wasallam, anything of the nafs to the side because it was all about your welfare.
And that's why you find these conversations where he's talking to the most hostile people in Mecca. People that showed him no generosity whatsoever with their words or with their actions. But the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam was patient with them. Why? Because the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam was trying to, at the end of the day, get them to see the error of their ways and get them to do what was best for themselves. He wasn't trying to be victorious over them, Sallallahu alayhi wasallam. He was trying to be victorious with them. We're trying to get to Jannah together. This is the way to salvation. Let me hold your hand. Follow me to that path. But with gentleness and goodness. And he manifested that, Sallallahu alayhi wasallam, with the Firaun of his time and Abu Jahl. We also find that when it comes to nasihah, of course, one of the ways that people give nasihah wrong these days is they humiliate one another. In the name of nasihah, in the name of sincere advice, you absolutely humiliate someone. You berate them. You expose them. You put them down. All in the name of what? I'm doing my job. I'm trying to protect the deen and I'm trying to do what's best for you. Right? And Aisha radiallahu ta'ala anha, this is a hadith, authentic hadith where she narrated. She said about the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam, إذا بلغه عن الرجل شيء that when he was told about someone Sallallahu alayhi wasallam saying so forth and so forth, someone was saying something wrong, the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam would say, ما بال فلان يقول The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam would not say, what is it with this person saying such and such, but he would instead say, ما بال أقوام يقولون كذا وكذا or يفعلون كذا وكذا That what is it with a group of people saying such and such or doing such and such. He wouldn't name the person to not humiliate the person because the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam was hoping the advice would reach that person
and at the same time people would be protected from the possible harm of the action or what is being said. The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam would not name people in a humiliating way and that's why we see some of these Ahadith where you see a man who made a mistake from the companions of the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam, almost always the man will be left unnamed unless he's the narrator of the story and telling you about a mistake he made or she made and the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam correcting them. Otherwise the person remains unnamed. Why? What's the point? What's the point of humiliating that person? As Imam Al-Shafi'i said specifically about this idea of public nasiha. You know people don't pick up a phone anymore. I've got your phone number. I can message you but I'm gonna make sure but it's so severe. I need to put this in the WhatsApp group. I need to tweet about you. I need to do this about you. Like before even like the courtesy of let me try to correct you privately so you correct yourself publicly. In the name of what? I need to you know send a message. Imam Al-Shafi'i said, مَنْ وَعَذَ أَخَاهُ سِرًّا فَقَدْ نَصَحَهُ وَزَانَهُ وَمَنْ وَعَذَهُ عَلَانِيَةً فَقَدْ خَضَحَهُ وَخَانَهُ He said, رحمه الله تعالى, that whoever gives his brother or sister advice in private has given them sincere advice and beautified them. They come out better. They come out stronger. And whoever gives them advice in public has humiliated them and betrayed them. Nowadays, subhanallah, we don't know how to communicate with one another in private. Someone says, well you know this person said this there I've got to correct them there. Let me ask you a serious question and because we live in the world of these groups. You respond to that brother or that sister within this group privately and you say, hey listen I noticed you made a mistake here. I'm just telling you because I love you and I want you to recognize this.
And that person goes back and corrects themselves. They come out with a better face, with a better image and they know that you're sincere to them. Because otherwise it could have been on blast. We don't put people on blast in the name of sincerity. That's not who we are. Especially not with our brothers and sisters. And it comes back to a fundamental understanding of your brother and sister. You wouldn't do that to your sibling. You wouldn't do that to a parent. You wouldn't do that to your family. We're family and maybe that's the problem is that we're forgetting that. And so we humiliate each other like enemies even when Allah taught us not even to humiliate our enemies. It's not nasiha. And the Prophet ﷺ was not one to do that. And then you find all of these books written about the way the Prophet ﷺ approached people. That the Prophet ﷺ gave people advice in proportion, in time, where they were at, how much they could handle at the moment. In Bukhari, rahimahullah ta'ala, has Bab, ma kana nabiyu ﷺ yatakhawwaluhum bilmaw'idha wal'ilm. That the Prophet ﷺ would not overdo it with the companions, with knowledge. I mean who doesn't want to hear the Prophet ﷺ? But the Prophet ﷺ would not give them more than they could handle. Why? Kaila yanfiru. So that they don't flee from the religion. He gave them what they could handle ﷺ. In time, proportion, concepts, where they were at, growing them steadily over time. And so yes, something that I need to learn from the Prophet ﷺ first and foremost, is what Abdullah ibn Mas'ud ﷺ says in this chapter, that the Prophet ﷺ would not lengthen his sermons too long. Why? So that the sahaba would not become bored of what he was saying. That's the Prophet ﷺ. That's what Ibn Mas'ud ﷺ was saying, that Rasulullah ﷺ paid attention to that type of a detail. And then when he spoke to you personally,
and this is where I want you to start paying attention, how do I be more like this? He would never mention a bad quality that he was trying to rectify in you, before mentioning something good about you. He started off with the good. نعم الرجل عبد الله What a good, blessed young man Abdullah is. But pray a little bit of qiyam al-layl. نعم الرجل He starts off with the good. Before you have to say something to someone to correct them, or to bring out something that's not pleasant, because nasiha is usually a hard conversation. And even sometimes with the best approach, Ibrahim ﷺ spoke to his father with the best approach, look how that ended up. Sometimes it doesn't work, but you got to do your part. Start with what? The good qualities. The Prophet ﷺ would always mention the good quality first of a person, before he tried to correct what he saw. Rasulullah ﷺ also, when it came to his body language, I mean this was the busiest man on the planet, ﷺ. His body language was one of care and affection. How many ahadith do we find? أخذ رسول الله ﷺ بمن كبير He took my shoulder ﷺ. He put his hand on my shoulder. What was it like in that society to have Rasulullah ﷺ walk up to you and put his hand on your shoulder? Like let's talk. What kind of love and affection and care is that? From the head of state, from the most important man, the whole community revolves around him ﷺ. He'll put his hand on your shoulder. He'll look you in the eyes. He'll say to you what you need to hear. He'll smile at you ﷺ. He'll put you at ease. Then he'll give you advice. So we find so many of these narrations where it was his habit when he used to talk to his companions, he'd put his hand on your shoulder ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ mentioning his affection to his companions.
Mu'adh ibn Jabal ﷺ saying that, before he sent me to Yemen, أخذ بيده He took the hand of Mu'adh. And he said, يا مُعَاد والله إني لا أحبك He said to him twice, Oh Mu'adh, I swear by Allah I love you. I swear by Allah I love you. How beautiful is that? I mean that was the best thing that Mu'adh could have heard from the Prophet ﷺ. يا مُعَاد والله إني لا أحبك I want you to know I love you. I want you to know that I love you for the sake of Allah. أُوصِيك يا مُعَاد I'm giving you advice and a wasiyya, a will, a Mu'adh. لا تدعن في دُبر كل صلاة تقول اللهم أعني على ذكرك وشكرك وحسن عبادتك Do not let any prayer pass except that at the end of your prayer you say اللهم أعني على ذكرك وشكرك وحسن عبادتك Oh Allah, help me to remember you, help me to thank you, help me to worship you. The scholars also say that the Prophet ﷺ if you look at when he mentioned the quality, whether he mentioned a good quality or a bad quality, the Prophet ﷺ even when he was doing that, he was not assigning it to you as an inherent weakness or something that would prohibit you from success. He was either telling you to tone it down or he was telling you to be aware but don't be offended. So when he says to Umar ﷺ, Umar gives this example of himself. He says that in Hajj, the Prophet ﷺ said to me يا عمر إنك رجل قوي or Umar you're a strong man. So Umar ﷺ was happy. It's praise. But then he told him what? He said, don't, you know, be easy around the black stone, around الحجر الأسود. They have weak people there, they have people that are not as strong as you and you might be sending them flying right and left just by nature of your strength. So after he told him إنك رجل قوي that you're a strong man,
he gave him some advice and Umar ﷺ took the advice to heart. Abu Dharr ﷺ, the most frequently advised man of the Prophet ﷺ whom we have the narrations of. We read the books of Nisa'ih of the Prophet ﷺ, the advices of the Prophet ﷺ, the wasaya, the way that the Prophet ﷺ would give those personal advices. Abu Dharr ﷺ lists so many of these conversations between him and the Prophet ﷺ because he was persistent. He said to the Prophet ﷺ, O Messenger of Allah, give me this advice. O Messenger of Allah, what do I do if this happens? Goes through all the hypotheticals. And the Prophet ﷺ was patient with him, giving him advice. But one time the Prophet ﷺ says to Abu Dharr, يا أبا دهر إنك ضعيف He said, listen, O Abu Dharr, إني أراك ضعيفة I see you to have some weakness. وإني أحب لك ما أحب لنفسي I'm not saying this to put you down. I'm not saying this to put you down. I love for you what I love for myself. This is out of love for you that I'm saying this. You know that I didn't just decide to come here and say to you, O Abu Dharr, you're a weak man. No, no. There's a weakness here. What was the weakness? Abu Dharr was asking the Prophet ﷺ to be put in a position of leadership. The Prophet ﷺ had to tell him, look, there's something that stops you from leadership. It's not the physical strength, but there's a weakness in terms of how you would approach the position. So he says to Abu Dharr, look, I love for you what I love for myself. But he tells him at the end of the day, do not accept a position of an ameer even over two people and do not agree to be the guardian of an orphan's property. Could be his asceticism, رضي الله عنه, his demeanor, his approach. But the Prophet ﷺ was telling him, look, it's not for you. And I'm telling you this because I love for you what I love for myself. I want Jannah for you like I want Jannah for myself. And so all of the narrations where Abu Dharr رضي الله عنه says,
أوصاني خليلي ﷺ بخصال من الخير. My beloved one, the Prophet ﷺ gave me advices. He told me how to reach these positions of good. That also meant sometimes having that hard conversation. But it wasn't the only time he spoke to Abu Dharr, which is also an important thing. If someone has not heard something encouraging from you forever and the only time that you come to speak to them is when you want to admonish them, of course they're going to be offended by it. Of course they're going to be insulted. Who are you? Now you're showing up. Now you decided to give me نصيحة. Right? So the Prophet ﷺ established a relationship with him to where when he said that, it was taken in its proper spirit. And there are so many things, the scholars mention also that when the Prophet ﷺ would give those types of advices, he would mention your name to you. And you know, like not just in a general sense, but when he's talking to you directly as a means of affection. يا عبد الرحمن ابن سمرة You can find different narrations where he calls you by your full name as he's talking to you like, look, this is serious and this is out of my love for you. So we learn this from the Messenger ﷺ. And we have these narrated advices from him. One after the other, a companion comes to him and asks him for advice. قل لي قولاً وأقلل Tell me something that will benefit me but keep it short. لا تغضب Do not become angry. Do not become angry. Do not become angry. All these advices. Now here's what I want to come to. Every one of these specific advices to the Prophet ﷺ or from the Prophet ﷺ to a companion fits us as well. There isn't a single one of those advices that you can't read and take for yourself as something beneficial. But I want you to rehearse in your mind what you would do if you met the Prophet ﷺ in this world. And he was going to give you naseeha, advice.
And you know, I want to start from a place of what? That it's not some sort of magical equation that we don't really know what would be said. Right? On the Day of Judgment, اقرأ كتابك Read your own book. كفى بنفسك اليوم عليك حسيبا This was not hidden from you. You knew what was coming. You knew what you were supposed to do. What you were supposed to be doing. So, read your book. Go ahead and read it. If you were to meet the Prophet ﷺ in this life, and he's going to give you naseeha, what do you think the Prophet ﷺ would say to you? What advice would he give to you? What would you rush to change about yourself before you meet him? How would your demeanor suddenly change? If he was to walk into your house, what are you going to do to your house at the moment? What are you going to hide away or put away? If the Prophet ﷺ was suddenly going to enter into your group, what are you going to delete? Or what are you going to stop saying? If the Prophet ﷺ is speaking to you directly, you know, we say we love him ﷺ. May Allah make that true of all of us. That we love him ﷺ. That our greatest hope is that we get to approach him on the Day of Judgment and not be pushed away. Not be turned away from him ﷺ. May Allah allow us all to be brought near to him, to be shaded under the throne of Allah and to drink from the hand of our beloved ﷺ and not be turned away. Allahumma ameen. We all want that. But sometimes that powerful talk that you could imagine in your own head, what you would change if he was to talk to you. If he was walking into the masjid right now and he took you to the side and then if he knew you a little bit better, what would he say to you ﷺ? Obviously, it would start with the injunctions from the divine revelation that he was sent with and then the personal stuff. And we know ourselves and when we can synchronize what he would say to us with what we hope to say
to Allah when we stand before him on the Day of Judgment because at the end of the day, the Prophet ﷺ was sent not just with a mission and mercy but with consequences for us. The truth has consequences. Then we can start to make those changes in our lives. And so you have an assignment today that at some point I want you to sit and think with yourself if Rasulullah ﷺ came to my house and sat with me, what do I think he would say to me and what would I change to make myself more presentable to the Messenger ﷺ for surely the one who sent the Messenger ﷺ and the one who will hold us accountable sees us now. May Allah ﷻ make us pleasing in his sight. May Allah forgive us for our shortcomings. May Allah make us true and sincere followers of our beloved Messenger ﷺ and join us with the Prophets and the Righteous Ones in the highest level of al-Firdaws al-'Aala. Allahumma ameen. Aqooloo qawlihaadha wa astaghfirullah li walakum wa nisaa'il muslimeen. Faistaghfiru innahu ghafoorun raheem. Alhamdulillah, salatu wassalamu ala Rasulullah wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man walakum. Allahumma khfir lil mu'mineen wa lil mu'minat wa lil muslimeen wa lil muslimat. Al-ahya'i minhum wa lil amwat. Innaka samee'un qareebun mujeebun da'wat. Allahumma khfir lana wa arhamna wa a'fu a'na wa la tu'adhibna. Rabbana dhalamna anfusana wa in lam takhfir lana wa tarhamna. Lanakoonana minal khasireen. Allahumma innaka a'fuun kareemun tuhibbul a'fu fa'afu anna. Allahumma khfir li walidina. Rabbirhamhuma kama rabbona sigara. Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhriyatina qurra ta'ayun wa ja'alna lilmuttaqeena imama. Allahumma khfir lana wa arhamna wa a'fu a'na wa la tu'adhibna.
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