Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. when we talk about the concept of tawbah, when we talk about the concept of repentance, there's a very famous hadith from the Prophet ﷺ where he said, al-nadmu, tawbah, that regret is repentance. And that doesn't mean that regret is the only ingredient of repentance, it means that regret is the fundamental ingredient of repentance. Because obviously, it is not sufficient for a person to simply express regret and not to take any action after that regret. But you cannot take any meaningful step back towards Allah in your repentance unless you start off with an-nadum, this idea of sincere regret. wal-ladheena idha fa'alu fahishatan aw zalamu anfusahum dhakaru Allah Those who when they commit an act of shamelessness or they have wronged themselves, they remember Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala fastaghfaru li dhunubihim and then they seek forgiveness from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala until the end of the ayah. So it starts off with that sense of acknowledgement, that sense of regret. Now obviously, with the emphasis on tawbah in the wake of our frequent debts, the emphasis on returning back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, regretting our mistakes and repenting to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala becomes a whole lot harder when other people are involved. Why? Because that requires us to swallow our pride as well and that's harder for us to do as human beings. It's easier for us to repent from a personal sin between us and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, knowing that we're not going to be shamed by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We're not going to find the brokenness of our pride with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. But when it comes to owning up our mistakes when they involve other people, then I have to swallow my pride as well and that's where you start to find greater
difficulty and tension. That a person will insist on their wrongdoing even if they know it's wrong because I can't get over that barrier of pride. And this is why in relationships, when you talk about the argument impasse, where I feel like acknowledging my wrongdoings will give you the upper hand or disrupt the proportionality. So I can't acknowledge my wrongdoings in a relationship because if I do that, then you're going to take advantage of that and you're going to claim the upper hand, the upper edge. So what do I do instead? I feel like we both did wrong, but you did more wrong. And until you acknowledge your wrong, I'm not going to acknowledge my wrong and that will keep us a little bit even. So I'm going to continue to insist on my wrongdoings and on my position. I'll use more you statements instead of I statements and I'll continue to deflect with blame on you. And that's how marriages end because the two parties cannot show that level of humility. SubhanAllah, even the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam, who is a prophet of Allah. If you want to talk about claiming authority, he could have in his relationships put his foot down and said I am the messenger of Allah. You know, we should stop this argument right now. This is how you kill any argument. I am Rasulullah. But what did the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam do? He demonstrated ihsan, excellence. So it has to be that way that a person is willing to acknowledge some wrongdoing, some mistakes, and listen to the other perspective. And that takes a great deal of humility. Now there are different levels of acknowledging our mistakes or our wrongdoings in the midst of our interpersonal dealings. One of them is when someone gives us nasiha, when someone gives us advice and we don't like that advice
or we don't like the person that's giving the advice or we don't like the way the person is giving the advice. But nasiha to me, to own my own wrongdoings, to acknowledge and own my mistakes. Now when it comes to that type of exchange, there are two sides of the same coin. Why? Because the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam mentioned kibar, he mentioned pride, as condemning people, looking down upon people, and then rejecting the truth. And it comes to the first side of that which is the one offering the advice in a way that's a condemnation with a judgmental attitude, with condescending behavior to the other person. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam told us about these two men from Bani Israel, two brothers, one of them was a sinner, the other one was a abid, was a worshiper. And so one day they get into an argument and the one that sins a lot says to the one that's a worshiper, did Allah send you as a watcher over me? And what does he say to him? Allah will not forgive you. And what does the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam say happened? Allah azza wa jal rose the two brothers up and said to the one who said that, who told you? Who I forgive and who I don't forgive? How dare you? Right? That is a person playing God. You don't get to play Allah in your condemnations or your advice that's disguised or your condemnation that's disguised as sincere advice. You don't play God. You leave that to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, that's to the divine route and you can give advice but you don't offer that judgment. The second side of that, the other side of that coin is not playing God but it's playing the devil. Why? Because the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam said, and this is an authentic hadith where he said alayhi salatu wasalam, the most beloved of words to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala are subhanakallahumma wabihamdika wa tabarakasmuka wa ta'ala jadduk wa la ilaha
ghayruk. Glory and praises be to you O Allah, how blessed is your name and exalted your majesty and there is no God but you. And then he said salallahu alayhi wasalam, abghadul kalami ilallah, an yakoola alrajuli ittaqillah. The worst words to Allah, the most angering words to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is that someone says to another person, be mindful of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, fear Allah, think about what you're doing and the person responds alayka binafsik, mind your own business. That's the other side of the coin, rejecting the truth because I don't like the person giving me the advice or I don't like the way they're giving the advice or I just don't like being advised. And the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam said that's the worst person, that the people don't even give the person advice alimur itiqa'a fuhshihi, we don't want to deal with his mouth, let him run his mouth, let him ruin himself but khalas, we don't want to talk to the person anymore because they don't take advice. And this is the behavior that Allah azawajal tells us in the Quran, wa itha qila lahut taqillaha ahadathu al-izzah bil-ithm. When you say to a person, fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, be mindful of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, think about what you're doing, I'm trying to help you fix your ways. Ahadathu al-izzah bil-ithm. That person is held captive by their sense of izzah. Izzah by the way is usually a good thing, it's dignity, it's honor but there's a false sense of izzah which is just arrogance. It's not dignity and honor, it's pride. Ahadathu al-izzah bil-ithm, with their sin. And so what do they do? They sin more, they reject the advice and to make a point, they get worse. They go further and further and further in their oppression. And what's the opposite side of that? Fahasbahu bil-jahannam. So that person, the only thing that's going to suffice them is jahannam in
the hereafter. On the other side of that, wa minan nasi man yashri nafsahu bitigha' mardaatillah. Allah ra'ofu bil-ibad. Right after that, what does Allah tell us? There are some people that have sold themselves in the pursuit of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's pleasure. Walillahil-izzah. You want izzah? You want honor? Allah gives izzah. And that person does not consider their nafs, their selves, in the pursuit of mardaatillah, in the pursuit of Allah's pleasure. And so when they see anything that comes their way, pleasant or bitter, that can potentially bring them closer to Allah, you know what? I'll own it. Jazakallahu khaira. Thank you for helping me see man ahda ilayya ayubi. Rahimallahu imran man ahda ilayya ayubi. I should thank this person. Thank you for helping me see that. Jazakallahu khaira for pointing that out. You know what? Let me acknowledge my wrongdoing. That person's wrongdoing will be between them and Allah on the Day of Judgment. I don't want to be destroyed by my wrongdoing on the Day of Judgment. Jazakallahu khaira. Man yashri nafsahu. That person has no nafs. They've sold themselves in the pursuit of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. The other person is captive by their nafs, captive by their pride and so they don't hold themselves accountable. And there are a few ways in which this transpires. The first one is with oppression, with zulm, with tyranny. And this is the, by the way, the context of these verses in Surah Al-Baqarah is in regards to zulm, these people that are spreading fasaad, corruption on earth, hurting people, consuming people's wealth and they're taking pride. They're seeing the pain that they're causing and they're high-fiving each other and saying, look at us, right? They're being grown in their kibr, in their pride. And so with tyranny, what happens with the tyrants, with an oppressor, with a zalim? And I'm talking about our own selves and our own interpersonal relationships. People start to backbite and gossip one another. And then what happens? People start laughing at it
and they egg one another on. And when you have your foot on someone else's throat or you are taking away their honor, their wealth, you're oppressing them. And someone tells you to fear Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. What's happening to you? You smell blood. And like a shark, subhanAllah, the human being truly, as Shaykh Al-Islam bin Taymiyya rahim Allah said, a human being has the capacity to be a devil or an angel, a shaytan or an angel. We become grown in tughyaan, in oppression. We smell blood. And so you go further and further and further. You have cheerleaders. And so because you have cheerleaders, you can't hear your own conscience anymore. You can't hear your sincere critics anymore. Because you're winning. And what did the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam say? Scary hadith, by the way. InnaAllaha layumli lizzalim. Allah Azza wa Jal lets the oppressor grow and grow and grow and grow. Hatta idha akhathahu lam yuflithu. Once Allah grabs that person, he never releases him. The person feels like I'm winning. I have the upper hand. I've got the support. I've got this. I've got the power to do this and this and this and that. Their arrogance grows. Their pride grows. Then Allah Azza wa Jal snatches that person and never releases that person again. When it comes to personal sin, when someone gives you sincere advice, loving advice, and a person insists upon that sin, why? Because I don't want to be told I'm doing something wrong. Every type of advice towards me is an attack on me. And that's how we start to interpret things. Everything that comes my way is an attack. Everyone that says anything that's mildly critical is trying to destroy me. And so my immediate tendency is defend, deflect. And subhanAllah, that's why the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam
warned us of what? Muhakqarat al-dhunub, the belittling of sins. You insist upon these sins, why? Because I don't want people to think that I gave this up just because this person said that I should give it up. I've had people on hajj with me that had a turn of heart, a change in their lives, and they're about to go home, and they're thinking about how they're going to... But if I change this or if I give this up or if I start talking differently, dressing differently, walking differently, doing things differently, they're going to say, ah, that person went to hajj and oh, they did this. We've been telling them to do this all along. Alhamdulillah, they finally listened. I don't want to give the satisfaction to those people. That's not how it works. Why? Because you're seeking mardaatillah, the pleasure of Allah. So your personal accountability is not driven by success in this life. It's not driven by winning something in this life. It's driven by meeting Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala with a clear conscience and with a sincere effort to meet him clean. I'll end with this hadith, dear brothers and sisters. The Prophet ﷺ, he said in the hadith from Abu Huraira radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu, maa naqasat sadaqatun min maal. Wealth is not decreased by a person spending it in charity. Your wealth is not going to decrease when you spend it in charity. Wama zada Allahu abdan bi afwan illa izzah. And Allah does not increase a servant in pardon and forgiveness except for, look at the word, izzah, glory. Glory. Even if it's temporary humiliation, Allah increases them in izzah, in true izzah, al-izzah al-mahmoodah, the glory, the praiseworthy form of dignity, not the false one that the hypocrite continues to insist upon. And the Prophet ﷺ used it in the same capacity of wealth. Just like your charity, you might see the numbers on your bank account decrease.
You might feel like you're giving up, but you're not. You're actually increasing the barakah of your wealth. The same thing with your honor. When you humble yourself, when you increase in forgiveness, Allah grows you. And the Prophet ﷺ finished, wama tawada'a ahadun lillah illa wafa'ahullah. And no one lowers themselves for Allah except that Allah azzawajal elevates them. May Allah ﷻ allow us to be a people that seek His pleasure in all things, that own their mistakes, that seek forgiveness from Allah, that reconcile with the people, that seek glory from Allah ﷻ. May Allah ﷻ do away with pride so that it does not destroy us in this dunya or in the akhirah. Allahumma ameen. Alhamdulilahi rabbil alameen. Alhamdulilahi rabbil alameen. Alhamdulilahi rabbil alameen. Alhamdulilahi rabbil alameen.
Alhamdulilahi rabbil alameen.
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