Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. were unconditionally obeyed except for him, and we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him, and those that follow in his blessed path until the Day of Judgment. We ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahuma Ameen. Dear brothers and sisters, often when we talk about some of the more difficult verses in the Qur'an that require a serious compromise on our part, especially when it comes to a relationship, when it comes to the issue of forgiveness, when it comes to the issue of dealing with harm that has been done towards us, we quickly exceptionalize ourselves because we say well the Qur'an is speaking to a different situation. And I actually want to walk back for a moment and think about this for a bit. Oftentimes it becomes very difficult to address some of the basic fundamentals of the deen when it comes to relationships, when it comes to, for example, where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions the obedience to the parents. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talks to us about the importance of forgiving people. And not have someone say but what about my situation, what about my situation, what about my situation, my situation is exceptional, my situation is exceedingly difficult. And sometimes it is indeed exceptional. The sharia treats cases in accordance with their unique circumstances. But I want us to appreciate for a moment that the most difficult generation, or rather the generation that had the most difficult circumstances in relation to some of these verses that demand from us these types of compromises, was the generation of the companions of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. Think about what it meant for them to read through the constant verses where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions the treatment
of the parents, where many of them saw their parents on the opposite side on the battlefield, in the battle of Badr. Think about how difficult it was for them to read the verses about forgiveness of your brothers that have harmed you, when they now have at the helm Khalid ibn al-Walid radiyallahu ta'ala anhu, who orchestrated the massacre of multiple companions of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam in the battle of Uhud, and now the children of some of those people, their siblings, have to stand behind Khalid radiyallahu ta'ala anhu in battlefield and fight on one side. Think about how hard it was for them to hear these verses about forgiveness and of moving forward. Think about the difficulty of Aisha radiyallahu ta'ala anhu, the prime victim of the slander that took place of Hadithatul Ifk, what her circumstances were like, and think about the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam himself, when the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam says that establishing the ties of kinship includes reconciling with those who have cut you off, and Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa sallam, how he was dealt with with many of his kin, and he still salallahu alayhi wa sallam tried to show a bigger heart to them, and still tried to extend his hand towards them. And so, let's just appreciate for a moment that yes, forgiveness and some of these concepts can be very difficult, but there is no generation that would have been more challenged by these higher ideals and these higher calls than the companions of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. And so while there may be exceptions, don't be so quick to exceptionalize yourself, and recognize that the Qur'an wants to challenge us in the greatest way possible, to create a healthier community, but to also give us our individual pathways to the highest place that we can possibly have in Al-Jannah. And I want to just, inshallah ta'ala, go through a few of these instances, and then talk about some of the ways that we can actually get past certain things. What are some of the strategies that we have from the companions of the Prophet
salallahu alayhi wa sallam, that are Qur'anic based, that are based on the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, to get through complicated situations. And I wanted to actually mention some of these situations where forgiveness was very complicated with the companions of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. And one of them involves the time of the fitna, when a war breaks out between two sides of the companions of the Messenger salallahu alayhi wa sallam. And this civil war is instigated from the outside, people have infiltrated the community of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, they have killed the Khalifa Uthman radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu, and passions are very high. You have some companions that want to quickly avenge the loss of Uthman radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu, you have Ali radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu who is trying to settle things down, and ultimately a fight breaks out that is not organic, that is instigated from the outside, but that sees some of the most blessed people, in fact the most blessed generation, radiyaAllahu anhum ajma'een, may Allah be pleased with them all, end up on two sides of a battlefield. And I want you to think about the perspective of this one man, Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Aas radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhuma. Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Aas felt very uncomfortable with his circumstances and had a very unique predicament. He heard the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam say when he was speaking about two armies of believers breaking out and talking about where the signs of truth would be, he heard the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam say about Amr ibn Aas radiyaAllahu anhu, taqtuluhu al-fi'atu al-baghiya. The army that is the transgressing army, when this fitna breaks out, you will know it because the transgressing army will be the one that kills Amr ibn Aas radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu. When this fight breaks out amongst companions, the best people. And so Abdullah saw himself on the day of this battle, and on the other side is Amr ibn Aas and Abdullah was a person who just wanted to focus on worship. He didn't
want anything to do with any of this fighting. He wanted to stay out of everything. And as he sees himself on that day and he does not want to get involved in any of the fitna, doesn't want to get involved in any of the hardship, any harming of anybody, his father reminds him as he wants to abandon the battlefield, that the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, aqla' abaka madumta hayya, obey your father as long as you live. That the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam told Abdullah, obey your father as long as you're alive. So what did he do? He stayed, he held one of the flags, he put his head down, he cried, he did not throw a single arrow in the battle, nor did he lift the sword one time. He did not participate, he simply obeyed his father and he held the banner, and in such pain to see this fallout happen. Such pain to see this fallout happen between the best of people because even the best of people can have this happen to them. And afterwards, one of his close friends was al-Husayn ibn Ali radiyallahu anhuma. And al-Husayn radiyallahu anhuma was very hurt. Your childhood friend is on the other side participating in this and it's very hurtful to him that this took place. And years pass and that relationship's never going to be the same again. And subhanAllah, this is a very human element and you can see all the complexities of the situation. These people came back together and came back under one banner again and sorted themselves through the fitna. But the damage, the pain that took place as a result of that, that was done. And for a lot of people, getting over that is not something that they could think of. And Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Anas radiyallahu anhuma, he knew how hurt al-Husayn radiyallahu anhuma was. So what would he do? Just look at this, subhanAllah. When al-Husayn would walk into a gathering and say, as-salamu alaykum, everyone would say wa alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah. He'd wait until the others finished
so he could say wa alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah separately so his voice could be heard separately. Like I'm talking back to you, wa alaykum as-salam. I hope you notice we're still brothers. That we're still friends. And al-Husayn radiyallahu anhuma did not acknowledge it except for the basic salam. They said salam to each other but they never really went back to being tight again. And Abdullah ibn Amr would cry and he would say, ma li wa li qital al-muslimin, what is it with me? How did I find myself in that predicament? How did I find myself in a battle between Muslims and believers? I never wanted to be involved in these situations and he'd cry. And his old friend al-Husayn radiyallahu anhuma walks by and he tells some of his companions, he says, ala ukhbirukum bi ahabbi ahl al-ard ila ahl al-samaa. He says to the people around him, he says you want me to tell you who the most beloved people or the most beloved of people on earth to the inhabitants of the heavens is? You want me to tell you who the best person right now amongst us is? He says it's that person al-Husayn. But he said he hasn't spoken to me since the day of Safin. Ma kalamani mundu Safin. And he cried. I want it back. I want us to forgive each other and move on. I want him to hear me out. I know why he's upset with me. He saw me on the other side holding a banner and he never maybe let that go. Maybe he's giving me the rights of a Muslim but he never let it go. So Abu Sa'id al-Khudri radiyallahu ta'ala anhu sees the situation. He comes to Abdullah and he says let's go talk to him together. This is after some time has passed. And Abu Sa'id was very close to al-Husayn. So he brings Abdullah ibn Amr bin As to meet al-Husayn. May Allah be pleased with them all. And al-Husayn radiyallahu ta'ala anhu sees him. Salamu alaykum wa alaykum as-salam. Again he gives him the rights of a brother but I really can't go past that with you right now. And Abu Sa'id tries to break the ice between these two brothers. And al-Husayn asks him the question that has been burning
inside of him for years. How did you fight against my father? How could you hold a banner and an army against my father? How could you do that? And Abdullah says to him, wallahi nothing was more hated to me than being in the battlefield. And I wanted to abandon the battlefield altogether and I never wanted to involve myself in fitna and hardship and tribulation. He said but one time my father complained about me to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. Not that I was disobedient to him but that I prayed too much and I fasted too much and I read too much Quran. And the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam told me to moderate my recitation of the Quran, moderate my prayer, fast less because you're going to burn yourself out. And then he said, ya Abdullah, obey your father as long as he's alive. And so he said I found myself in a predicament where I had to obey my father but he said to al-Husayn, I didn't throw an arrow, I didn't hold a sword, I just carried the banner. And al-Husayn radiallahu anhu forgave him and they reconciled. Subhanallah, look how complicated forgiveness can be. This whole time, had this conversation happened earlier, al-Husayn may have known about a circumstance from Abdullah that would have made his heart soften towards him. Had Abdullah gone to him and forced the conversation, maybe it would have fought a little bit earlier. And there's the noble man of Abu Sa'id that sees two people that says, you know what, I'm going to take you and I'm going to make you sit with this person and I'm going to end this now. Forgiveness can be complicated. It can be very complicated. And it was harder on them than anybody else in some of these situations. Subhanallah, what harder than for Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radiallahu anhu to forgive the man who slandered his daughter and to continue to give him sadaqah. What harder than that. A man who caused this much misery to you, to your daughter, to the most beloved person in the world, to Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam. But look what happens. Now
what do we do in these situations and what's the balancing act? Because there is forgiveness and accountability, right? So what do we do when we find ourselves in some of these situations and recognize that sometimes it's not that simple. It's not simply just say salamu alaykum and hug it out in the masjid and it's over. Sometimes there is a lot that's happening in the background. There are three things that you take from the companions of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Number one is to try to find the redeeming factors of the person. What's redeeming in your relationship? When Allah azzawajal talks about divorce, wa la tansu al-fadla baynakum, don't forget the good times between you. And what are the redeeming factors? So for example, what was it with Mistah who slandered Aisha radiallahu ta'ala anha? He was one of the people of Badr. What was it with Hatib ibn Abi Balta'a? A very intriguing story radiallahu anhu. A man who was from the veterans of Badr and who got caught in a weak moment and who wrote a letter when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam was going into Fatah Mecca, into the conquest of Mecca, wrote a letter to the Meccans in advance to inform them of the Prophet's plans sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Not because he was a hypocrite, but because he didn't have any allies in Mecca, so if things didn't go right, he thought he was going to be apprehended and he was going to be the most vulnerable of the companions. So in a moment of weakness, he wrote a letter. Jibreel alayhi wasallam came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, told him about it. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam sent Ali and al-Zubayr and al-Muqdad to catch the person who was on her way with the letter and intercept it. And when it came back to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, imagine Hatib is in front of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam radiyallahu anhu, and look what you've done. You almost just compromised the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and the companions. Why? And Umar radiyallahu anhu says, he's a hypocrite, let me end him. And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam
says, first of all, he's a person of Badr. He reminded Umar radiyallahu anhu that no, he's a veteran of Badr. So there's something to him because people didn't come out to Badr that were hypocrites. They were good people, the best of people that came out to Badr. And he asked Hatib what happened and Hatib said, Ya Rasulullah, wallahi, I did not do so to put you in harm's way or anyone else, but all the other companions have people in Mecca that could help them out if the battle doesn't go right, if things don't go right. They have allies, they have tribal connections. I have nobody, so if things were going to go wrong, I was going to be the most in trouble. So I got weak and I wanted to just establish some sort of a link so that I wouldn't be vulnerable in that situation. He was held accountable, but he was also forgiven. So the first thing was thinking about something good about the person. What are the redeeming qualities of a person? When you have that type of a harm that takes place between you, what's something redeeming that I can think of in terms of their iman, in terms of their salah, in terms of their salah, in terms of their righteousness? Number two, number two, can I look at the circumstances of the situation and not justify the person's wrongdoing with the circumstances, but still say the circumstances were difficult on that person and I can forgive them even though it's not an excuse. I'm not excusing the behavior. Abdullah ibn Amr radiyallahu anhu and al-Husayn radiyallahu anhu, al-Husayn is not excusing Abdullah ibn Amr, but he understands now a little bit more about the circumstances that he was in that maybe led him to that predicament. The Prophet ﷺ saying we can understand al-Hatib as bad of a decision he made, the mistake that he made, the circumstances, there's room there for some husn ad-dhan, for some good assumption, something to be extrapolated, to give that person a means towards forgiveness. Number three, focusing on the greater reward. Number three, focusing on the greater reward.
وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَىٰ تُحِبُّونَ يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ Let them forgive and let them pardon. Don't you want Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to forgive you? So the first thing is finding something redeeming about the other person. The second thing is finding an excuse due to the circumstances without excusing their behavior in the circumstances. The third thing is وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَىٰ تُحِبُّونَ يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ Forgive and pardon. Don't you want Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to forgive and pardon you? Now here's the other side of that. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is speaking to us about a situation in which a person is repentant, in which a person is seeking forgiveness. Allah is not speaking about the unrepentant transgressor, nor is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala speaking about checking a harm that is still imminent to someone else. So you don't put someone in an abusive situation. You don't say about someone who does not seek forgiveness that we should forgive them. You can remove yourself from the prison of a grudge without still forgiving a person who hasn't sought forgiveness. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala still establishes an environment of accountability and this is actually the power of the Quran in this regard. As much as Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is pushing us to forgive and as much as Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talks about the repentant having a way forward, Allah does not use kind language towards oppressors and transgressors in the Quran the way he uses it to a person who sins on their own and has their individual sins. The language that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala uses to oppressors is, don't think you're going to get away with this. Don't think that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is unaware. Don't think that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does not see your wrong. اتقوا الظلم فإن الظلم ظلمات يوم القيامة Beware of wronging someone because it will be darkness for you on the Day of Judgment. So the language that Allah uses towards the person doing the oppressing and doing the wrongdoing is very harsh language. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala simply leaves a window
of tawbah without speaking lovingly to that person. This is something that some of the ulama mention. Allah speaks lovingly to the sinner in the Quran, calls them back to Allah. قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَا الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ Say, oh my servant who has transgressed against themselves, don't despair from the mercy of Allah. But when Allah speaks to the oppressor, إِنَّ الَّذِينَ فَتَنُوا الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ ثُمَّ لَمْ يَتُوبُوا فَلَهُمْ عَذَابُ جَهَنَّمٍ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابُ الْحَرِيقِ Those who have harmed and put to trial the believing men and the believing women and they don't repent. They have a way to repentance as well. But the language is a lot harsher. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will put them into hellfire and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will punish them severely. So there has to be an initiation. And if you are on the other side of that, do not let your arrogance and do not let your sense of immunity stop you from going and seeking forgiveness from someone that you've harmed. And do not depend on the other person's taskiya to get you out of hell. That person might forgive you because they want a higher reward from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. But you still might be punished because you need to be forgiven by that person and by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And so there is that balance of a higher incentive for a person to forgive and a higher sense of urgency to go seek forgiveness. وَلَا تَحْسَبَنَّ اللَّهَ غَافِرًا عَمَّ يَعْمَلُ الظَّالِمُونَ Don't think Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is unaware. But dear brothers and sisters, it was complicated for the companions. None of these situations, none of these ayat that came down, none of these ahadith that came down ignored people's complexities. They just called us to the highest version of ourselves. And the believers always strive to be in the best position. And I end with this thought, subhanallah. Was there ever anyone that could come to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam and say that he wronged them and did not provide them any recourse?
One of the proofs of his prophethood, in fact, that the scholars mention, is that as many of these things happen as natural as between human beings, not a single person could come to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam when he started his call and say, but remember you still owe me this and you still did this to me and you did that to me and you did this to me. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasalam had no grievances against him. Even in the heat of the climate, no one could bring forth a personal grievance against the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam. Think about that. Think about that. May Allah free us from being grieved on the Day of Judgment by our own sins and transgressions and may Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala allow us to get past our own grievances with a higher reward and may Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala comfort us in a way that only He can comfort us. Allahumma ameen. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
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