Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for him. And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him and those that follow in his blessed path until the day of judgment. And we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen. Dear brothers and sisters, There is a body of ahadith from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, probably more extensive than in any other way of life, about the importance of nasiha, the importance of sincere advice. And typically you find that the body of ahadith that are focused on nasiha, focused on the idea of sincere advice, focused on how to give advice, the mechanics of giving advice, the way that we talk to people, the way that we talk to our brothers and sisters, and the way that this ultimately ties into the pursuit of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's pleasure and our destination, our hope destination of paradise. A people that enjoin one another in good and forbid evil amongst each other and help one another towards that pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And keep each other resilient and steadfast and patient with what comes with taking that path collectively. And while you have all of these ahadith, all of these statements about how a person should give advice, and it is important, because it affects the way that a person will receive it, you have an entire scope that is described in the Quran and the Sunnah of how to make the heart necessary to receive sincere advice. Similar to the way that you make the heart necessary,
or you make the heart fertile to receive the most necessary advice and the most necessary guidance of all time, which is the infallible speech of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. That the heart has to be willing to receive even the Quran. There is no word that is greater than the Quran. There is no advice like the Quran. There is no guidance like the guidance of the Quran. It is perfect in every sense. Spoken by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala meant for your heart to receive it. And even then, there are hearts that are described as being as hard as stone that cannot receive it. And there is no fault whatsoever in the Quran. The fault is in the heart that was unable to receive it. On the other hand, the opposite of that, may Allah azawajal make our hearts the opposite of that, there are hearts that are like fertile soil. They receive the revelation and they continue to grow these beautiful crops, these beautiful plants. All stemming from that initial revelation from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And so there has to be the giver and the receiver. There has to be a heart that is ready. And if that is the case for the Quran, then certainly when it comes to the imperfect advice that we're commanded to give each other, where there is more room for things to be wrong in substance or in delivery, then the heart has to be at an even greater level of anticipation and desire to receive than that heart which is with the Quran, which is with the word of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And you find so many ahadith that stress this communal role amongst us. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, speaking about the believers as being mirrors to one another. A mirror shows you things that you otherwise cannot see. It shows you flaws that you otherwise cannot see. You know, if you look in the mirror and there is a stain on your shirt, then that's how you detect that stain. If there's something that's on your face, that's how you detect that thing that's on your face.
That's the function of that mirror. And for the believer to the believer, you are the spiritual mirror of every brother and sister in this ummah. You're their spiritual mirror. That means that there is a necessary cleansing mechanism that you have to have for yourself. And there's a function that you serve to your brother and your sister. And if you don't serve that function, then you are the defective mirror. And subhanAllah, you find this emphasis on the collective decay of mankind being tied to the unwillingness of people to advise one another anymore. And the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam mentions that the people will be in khair, they will be in good so long as they enjoy in good and forbid evil amongst themselves. Now, typically, we might resort to when we read a hadith like that, this idea that evil becomes so emboldened and when it's unchallenged, it only grows. And that's true. But there's another set of people, a large set of people that aren't necessarily evil, that aren't necessarily emboldened in their evil, but they just don't know any better because there's a collective leaving off of this nasiha, this culture of advising one another, of enjoying good and forbidding evil. Trying to build one another up to be pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And Imam al-Ghazali, rahimahullah, he says something very profound in his ihya. He says, think about a person who had a scorpion on their back. You know, we can relate maybe to mosquitoes right now in Texas. But if you had a scorpion on your back and there was someone that was walking behind you and that noticed that scorpion that was on your back before it bit you and they didn't tell you before it bit you, he said, similarly, when we have these character flaws that become obvious to people around us, and our brothers and sisters don't point them out, it's like a scorpion that is there about to bite you. You have a responsibility to say to your brother or your sister, I see a scorpion that you might not see. Not because you can't see, but it happens to be on your back.
And I want to point it out to you, not so that you scream a little quieter, once the scorpion bites you, so that I can actually stop you from suffering maximum damage through the bite of that scorpion. Perhaps I can stop it from biting you in the first place if I intervene early enough. Or I can help you get treated quickly. But the point is that as people, when we walk around and we have scorpions on us, we want people to point that out to us. We want people to point out that harm because it poses an imminent physical harm. What about spiritual harms? What about spiritual diseases? And SubhanAllah, you find there's a man by the name of Abdullah ibn Mubarak, Rahimahullah Ta'ala. And you can find entire books that are just people asking Abdullah ibn Mubarak, Rahimahullah, for advice and him responding with profound advice. And there came a time clearly where he stopped giving people advice. And he was asked, aren't you going to advise me? And he said, aren't you going to advise us? And he said, is there anyone who's still looking for advice? I don't find that people are interested in hearing nasiha anymore. I don't find that people are interested in having things pointed out to them. I find that people seem to have turned away from this. And he's talking about it at that time. And as a result of that, who suffers? Not the person that no longer gives advice, but the person that could have received really good advice, necessary advice, to make themselves more pleasing to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. And there's a man by the name of Habib al-Jallab, Rahimahullah, he said that I asked Abdullah ibn Mubarak, Rahimahullah Ta'ala, what is the best thing that a human being can be given? What's the best thing a person can be given? So first he responded, he said, first and foremost, good intuition, strong insight, perception, where you have the internal mechanics, you have that intelligence,
and that introspection to where you can think on your own, you can see things for yourself, not exclusively on your own, but you have a strong mind in a good way, you have a functioning mind that actively seeks out the best version of the nafs, that actively seeks out the best ways to refine the character, and to purify the heart, and that sees the world in a certain way, and sees the self in a certain way. So a person that can sit and reflect and have that intelligence, and have that intuition and that perception, to be able to self-rectify. And then he said, what if a person doesn't have that? Then a person has good manners, good manners at least, right? So they observe a certain set of basic curtains, a set of basic courtesies and good manners, and subhanAllah, one of the beauties of this ummah, that sometimes you find the most illiterate people in this ummah have the most beautiful akhlaq, the most beautiful characteristics, the most beautiful values, the most beautiful qualities, and you don't get that sometimes unless you travel the Muslim world. Sometimes there are certain things that people have in them, almost innately, that have been embedded in them, that are so beautiful and so pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and they might not even be able to read a book. But they have husn al-adab, they have good adab, good manners. He said, well, what if I don't have that? Then you have a good brother who can give you advice, someone that can give you good advice. So if you're not able to come up with this alone, if you're not able to work on yourself alone, and if you have a hard time coming to these places, then you need someone that can point things out to you. You need someone that you can seek advice from, and we all need that. But that's the third thing. He said, what if I don't have that?
Then you should have long periods of silence. You shouldn't talk much. You shouldn't engage much in that case, because you're likely to be making a ton of mistakes. A ton of mistakes. If you don't have the internal rectifying mechanism of tadabbur and tafakkur on a regular routine basis, and you don't have the natural manners that have been put inside of you and embedded in you through culture or through good company, and you don't have a good brother or a good sister to advise you, that should really affect the amount of times that you engage, how you engage in giving input and speaking and doing, because you don't have the necessary mechanics and filters to be able to process that properly. He said, and if I don't have that, he said, then you should probably at that point wish for death. If you have none of these things, you're not capable of any of these things, then that means that your period on earth, your extension of a period on earth is just going to be an extension of sin. May Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la protect us. So what does this look like culturally? What does this look like when a person naturally has the ability to hear nasiha and to take the best of it, and to act upon it, and to be in that sincere pursuit of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la? One of the famous stories of Imam Malik Rahim Allah Ta'ala is Imam Malik walks into a masjid after Salatul Asr one day, and it was from the opinion of Imam Malik Rahim Allah that if you walked into the masjid after Salatul Asr that you wouldn't pray Tahiyyatul Masjid. You would not pray the two rak'ahs of entering the masjid. And this young man comes up and in a harsh way tells him to get up and pray two rak'ahs. He could have responded and said, let me speak to you young man about my muwatah. Let me pull out my book, show you my ahadith, and explain to you how I, the Imam of Medina, got to this place. He could have debated him at that moment, but instead he got up and he prayed two rak'ahs right away.
And his students who have been taught by him that that's not the right time to pray two rak'ahs, they were lost by this. They said, you know, we know from you that when you enter into the masjid, after Salatul Asr, we don't pray Tahiyyatul Masjid. And he said, I was afraid of being one of those people who Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la described, wa-itha qeela lahum urka'u la yarka'u. One of those people who Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la says when they are told to bow, they don't bow. I did not want to find myself in the category of the stubborn, disobedient, heedless, rebellious transgressors that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la mentions that would resist what is good for them. And so he still acted upon that advice. The opposite of this group of people are people that Allah Azawajal describes in the Quran, wa-itha qeela lahum urka'u la yarka'u la yarka'u. taqilaha akhadatuhu al-izzah bil-ithm. When you say to a person, or when you say to this person, fear Allah, be mindful of Allah, akhadatuhu al-izzah bil-ithm. Pride stops them from abandoning that sin. Pride stops them from abandoning that sin. Either they don't like the person that told them taqilaha, or they don't like the way that it was said to them, or they just don't like being corrected, period. Right? But taqilaha is said to them, akhadatuhu al-izzah bil-ithm. Then they are stuck because of their pride, because of their arrogance. Ibn Mas'ud radiAllahu ta'ala, he commented on this ayah. He said, inna min akbarid dham. He said, one of the worst of sins, an yaqoola al-rajul li akhihi. taqilaha, that a person says to his brother or to his sister, be mindful of Allah, fear Allah, and that person says, alayka binafsik. anta ta'muruni? Worry about yourself. You're telling me what to do? Who are you to tell me what to do? alayka binafsik. Worry about yourself. anta ta'muruni? Maybe they'll respond with all of the sins and all of the flaws. How dare you give me advice?
Who are you to give me nasiha? Mind you, there is a way to say to someone ittaqillah, and sometimes that's not actually even using the words ittaqillah. There's a tone, there's a delivery, there's the husn al-adab, the good ways in which you give nasiha beautifully. But here the blame falls on the recipient. When he responds with arrogance, akhadatul izzatu bil-ithm. And what does that look like? That means that I will insist on a sin that will destroy me to make you mad. I'm not going to give you the pleasure of correcting me, and ultimately I'm going to harm myself in the hereafter, because I don't want to give you that validation. Think about how that sounds when you actually play it out. I'm not going to correct myself. I'm not going to do something differently. I'm not going to take the step towards Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that I know I should take. I'm not going to abandon the sin that I know I should abandon, because I don't want you to have the pleasure of knowing that you put me in my place. akhadatul izzatu bil-ithm. akhadatul izzatu bil-ithm. Who hurts at the end of the day? What are you going to tell Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala on the day of judgment? I don't like the way he said it to me. I wanted to show them who's the boss. You're not the boss. Neither am I. Neither is the person who gave you advice, even if they did it in the wrong way. And subhanAllah, I want you to flip this frame in your mind for a moment. If someone gives you advice in the wrong way, or in a way that's not the best, they could have done better. And there's a part of you, maybe they were even very rude to you, but there is some weight to the advice that was given to you. Instead of seeing it as, but I'm going to validate that person's bad practices, see it as maybe I have two rewards with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. The reward of swallowing my ego, and the reward of doing that thing that I was supposed to do anyway. It may be that Allah azza wa jal reward you,
for in spite of the fact that the advice was given to you in a bad way, you still did it to please him. Flip the frame. I'm going to act upon this to please Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, even though I don't like the way the person said it to me. And you know what? If I want to correct that person's bad way of giving advice, I will say to them, JazakAllah khair. I really benefited from this, and this is good, and inshallah I'm going to act on it. InshaAllah, if you get a chance, maybe the next time that you speak to someone that's going through this predicament, it may help if you use this, because you might be able to deliver it better. But JazakAllah khair, I benefited, this is good. I acted upon it. I want to act upon it. If there is some validation in some way to that nasiha that's being given to you, take it. Take it. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, beware of creating a culture, or an aura around you, where people don't want to deal with you. He said sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, inna min sharri al nasi man taraka hu al nas ittiqaa fuhshihi. The worst of people are those who people leave off giving advice to, because they don't want to deal with their foul mouths. I don't even want to say anything to that person. Yeah, I know they have that, but I just don't want to deal with their temper. I'd rather that person sink themselves, because I don't want to deal with them. Don't be a person who creates an aura around you, where we don't want to give that person nasiha. I don't want to talk to my father. I don't want to talk to my mother. I don't want to talk to my husband. I don't want to talk to my wife, my brother, my sister, my friend, my colleague. I don't want to give them nasiha, because I don't want to set them off. If people have to walk around eggshells around you, then that's something for you to assess and say, why is it that people don't approach me and give me nasiha directly? What am I doing wrong that maybe I don't invite that nasiha? And the greatest person in that regard, Sayyidina Umar radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu. Now think about it. When you think humility, sometimes you think broken, disgrace. Does Umar radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu evoke any level of disgrace in your mind? None. None.
The manifestation of man tawada'a lillah wa rafa'a. That whoever humbles himself for Allah, Allah raises them. Umar radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu used to say, rahimAllahu man ahda ilayya ayyubi. May Allah have mercy on the person who guides me to my faults. May Allah bless that person who comes to me and who tells me, hey, I noticed this. Whether it's a servant or a king, whether it's a colleague, whether it's one of the great companions or someone who's unknown, even a non-Muslim, family member, a stranger. When someone would tell Umar radiyaAllahu anhu, you know, some form of advice, he took it. And he would celebrate that person. Why? Because he wanted everyone to know, when you have advice for Umar radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu, go give him advice. He wants it. And subhanAllah, you think about the day and age that we live in. You know, people pay loads of money for leadership classes and assessments and all of these things, which by the way, are good for you. I'm not saying they're not good for you. But one of the reasons why we feel comfortable receiving harsh, critical advice from complete strangers is because we don't feel threatened by those people. Right? So I can have a stranger that, you know, assesses me over 30 minutes or whatever it is. I put in something into a system and then tells me all these things that are flaws that I need to correct. But I don't feel threatened by that person. What if, what if your ego doesn't feel threatened by the people around you who know you best and who could be giving you that critical nasiha? What if you disarm? What if you put that ego away? SubhanAllah, what would happen in your life? People that don't need you to fill out a 30-minute assessment, they've got three years with you or 30 years with you where they could give you some nasiha about yourself. And maybe they're not experts, but they know you better than those experts do. And there's value to what they would be able to do. There's value to what they would be able to say to you. And I want to, inshallah ta'ala, end with this because it's important when I keep on saying, renew a culture of advice around you. Give an, you know, give an opening, a constant opening for people to give nasiha to you,
to seek nasiha from people. One of the reasons why that becomes so important is because we change. We change. The nasiha I might have needed a year ago, I might need a completely different nasiha now. We change. It's not like you get to a point where you no longer need it. You need advice. Circumstances change, and then we change sometimes with those circumstances in ways we can't see. And they'll tell you in psychology that in our minds somewhere there's always a perception that we're still that innocent child. And maybe we're not. Maybe we're not. And because we change, we need people's advice to be constant so it can detect those changes early on. We want people to notice it early in us, when they start to see that change, and to feel invited to say to us, you know, my brother, my sister, my friend, I just, you know, I noticed this and I wanted to point it out to you. And you say, Jazakallahu khaira. Thank you so much for that. Subhanallah, you'll find the salaf even taking advice from their children. Talk about not feeling threatened, not having a fragile ego. You know, to be able to say to your children, give me nasiha. Let's have a culture of advice and exchange together. And this is where we find, subhanallah, that a person can grow out of an experience rather than be completely taken off track by it. You want someone to intercept a temporary circumstantial flaw before it becomes a permanent characteristic flaw. You want someone to intercept and intervene at an early stage where it's a temporary circumstance rather than a permanent character detriment. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us from that. And he said, rahimahullah ta'ala, Abdullah al-Mubarak, la yazalul mar'u aliman ma talab al'ilm. fa idha dhanna anahu qad alima fa qad jahil. A person remains to be a knowledgeable person so long as they are seeking knowledge.
Once a person feels like they have reached the place of knowledge, then they have reached the place of complete ignorance instead. Replace talab al'ilm with talab al-nasiha here. Seeking good advice, seeking istishara from people. Once we stop seeking that growth and seeking that advice from people around us, then we may indeed become permanently relegated to our own misconstrued perceptions of ourself. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us from self-delusion. Allahumma ameen. A practical tip that I'm going to give to everyone insha'Allah ta'ala, you have an assignment this Jum'ah, which is this week insha'Allah ta'ala, this week and preferably within the next few days, I want you to go to two people that are very close to you and I want you to invite them to give you sincere advice. Two people that are close to you and maybe that you think will give you advice that you might not want to hear. But two people that you go to and you push them and if they ask you why you're acting that way, say that it was a Jum'ah assignment and I had to do so. But if you have to, you know, call someone, bring someone, you know, from far away, go to someone and say, I need nasiha. What do you think I could do to better myself? What are some changes you've noticed in me? How can I be a better character? May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us the best of character and allow us to be close to our Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam in this life and character and close to him. Al-Furduosu wa al-A'la. Allahumma ameen. Aqoolu qawlihaadha wa astaghfirullahi wa alaikum wa reesaa'ilil muslimeen fa astaghfiru. Inna huwa al-ghafurur raheem. Alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salamu ala rasulillah wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man wala. Rabbana la tuakhidna innaseena aw akhta'na. Rabbana wa la tahmil alaina isran kama hamaltahu ala lathina min qablina. Rabbana wa la tuhammilna ma la taqata lana bih. Wa a'fu a'na wa kuffir lana wa rahamna. Anta mawlana fa n'sulna ala alqawmin kafireen. Ibadullahi allahi wa amroo bil adli wal ihsan wa ita'ilil qurba wa yanha' alil fahsha'i wal munkari wal baghi. Ya'idukum la'alakum tazakkaroon. Fathkuru Allahi thkurukum wa shukroohu ala alni'ma yizid lakum wa ladhikru Allahi akbar.
Wallahi ya'nou ma fasna'oon. Wa aqeem al salam.
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