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Setting Character Goals in Ramadan | Khutbah
While many strive for new spiritual goals in Ramadan, the Prophet ﷺ and the pious predecessors were keen to strive for character goals as well. How do we set character goals for ourselves in Ramadan?
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. What you want to inculcate into your daily life after Ramadan. As far as your goals of ibadah are concerned, your goals of worship are concerned. But I want to talk about the other side of that today, which is your character goals, your goals in regards to your akhlaq, and what that even looks like when it comes to Ramadan, and setting that from now, and why it requires a deep study of yourself from now, so that you can prepare for where you want to get to insha'Allah ta'ala by the end of this month. And so I want you to imagine if there are two bars, you've got faith and you have khuluq, you have character. Deen and khuluq, as the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam would put them next to each other, faith and character. What are the measures of the increase of your faith? And you could indeed look towards the Qur'an as a means by which your faith increases, and so you want to set goals for yourself, as you should. Fasting naturally increases you in taqwa, which is as the ulema mention, the foundation of faith, God consciousness. So your fasting increases your faith, and perhaps you want to start thinking about insha'Allah ta'ala, how you want to start fasting after Ramadan on certain days of the month, or certain days of the week. When you think about your charity and what charity does, it is the burhan, it is the proof of faith. So how much charity will I start to give now, and maybe I'll cause myself to be a little bit more inconvenient, so that after Ramadan I'm giving more charity insha'Allah ta'ala. So those are measures of your faith, how much dhikr you're going to do. Every tasbih is so precious, every subhanAllah is so precious in this month of Ramadan, so much more precious. But maybe you come out of this month and you say from now on, I'm going to say subhanAllah, alhamdulillah, la ilaha illallah, allahu akbar, astaghfirullah, wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah, allahumma salli wa sallim ala nabina muhammad. These words of dhikr, maybe you'll say them a hundred times a day from now on,
or maybe even a thousand times a day after Ramadan. So you have these measures here. How do you start to measure the other side of that, which is your akhlaq, and how deeply intertwined are they? And so some of the ahadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in this regard, and maybe you can pay attention to the last few words of every one of these ahadith. The first hadith is from Aisha radiallahu ta'ala anha, where she says that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, She narrates that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Verily the most complete of believers in faith are those who are most complete in their character, and those who are most gentle with their families. Al-lutf is that you don't have an overbearing presence. When you bring joy with your presence to your family, gentleness, leniency. And so you'll notice first and foremost by the way, the narrator is our mother Aisha radiallahu ta'ala anha. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is talking about something that's consequential to his character as it relates to his family. And what a beautiful hadith to be narrated from Aisha radiallahu anha, about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who was only sent to perfect character. And so the first part of that hadith is usually quoted, and it is in multiple narrations. The best of you in character are the best of you in faith, but there's an addition that's also authentic. A clear manifestation of that faith is the lutf, is the presence that your family senses from you. And so the husband from the wife, the wife from the husband, the children from the parents, even of course the parents to the children in some ways. What is the presence that you bring to your family? And how does that represent your faith and your akhlaq, your faith and your character?
In another hadith that's narrated from Anas ibn Malik radiallahu ta'ala anhu, and we know who Anas ibn Malik radiallahu ta'ala anhu is, the one who the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam took in and could have been easily exploited. And he narrates from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, لَا يَسْتَقِيمُ إِيمَانُ عَبْدٍ حَتَّى يَسْتَقِيمَ قَلْبُهُ That the faith of a servant is not upright until his heart is upright. So it's beautiful because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam always starts from iman, because he knows that faith is what resonates with the mu'mineen first. That you want to get to a place of complete faith, start with this. And so your faith is not upright until your heart is upright. And he said sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, وَلَا يَسْتَقِيمُ قَلْبُهُ حَتَّى يَسْتَقِيمَ لِسَانُهُ And his heart will not be upright until his tongue is upright. You can't claim to have good faith without a good heart, and you can't claim to have a good heart without a good tongue. And he said sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, وَلَا يَدْخُلُ رَجُلٌ لِلْجَنَّةَ لَا يَأْمَنُ جَارُهُ بَوَائِقَهُ And a person will not enter into paradise if their neighbor does not feel safe from their harm. Notice by the way, subhanAllah, the immediacy of this. Who experiences your akhlaaq the most? Those that are in proximity of you. And so you want to measure your character, look at those who are in your immediate proximity, and if you are causing them harm, then that could harm your prospect of getting into Jannah. And if they can bear witness to your presence being one of good, then you can anticipate, biidhnillahi ta'ala, the presence of the Most Merciful, subhanahu wa ta'ala. So there's a connection that's constantly being made in these ahadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Now what does this have to do with our fasting in the month of Ramadan?
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given us this month to really strive for excellence. To not just fulfill an obligation, but to strive for excellence, to strive for another version of ourselves in regards to our faith, in regards to our character. And Allah azawajal took out the things that we usually put in our mouths, the food and the drink, and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala removed from us intimacy, even the halal intimacy, so that we could focus entirely on Him subhanahu wa ta'ala. And I want you to think about that day after Ramadan, when you eat breakfast on Eid, and how weird your stomach feels. You need to feel discomfort, your body needs to feel discomfort with saying certain things after Ramadan. If you're not removing it now, then laisa lillahi haja, Allah has no need of your fasting. If you're not even avoiding those things with your tongue now, Allah is saying, you're avoiding food and drink is pointless. But even the day after, when you're thinking about how uncomfortable you would feel when you first eat food after having fasted for a long time, the discomfort you should feel when your tongue utters, some of those things that you were more careful with in your fasting after the day of Eid, after you go back to your habits. And connected to the following to a hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam. The very famous hadith of the Messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam, قال عليه الصلاة والسلام, He said sallallahu alaihi wasallam, whoever can guarantee for me what is between their lips and what is between their legs, meaning the chastity of the tongue and the chastity of the private part, that they do not violate with those things, I guarantee that person jannah. I guarantee that person jannah. Think about that.
I guarantee you jannah. For what? For guarding yourself in the same two places that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has restricted you in Ramadan, to open your consciousness, not open your eyes, open your consciousness, to how you use those things that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given to you, to please Him rather than to displease Him. And in another narration, قال صلى الله عليه وسلم, The Prophet ﷺ was asked, what causes people to enter paradise most? What do most people get to jannah with? He didn't say taraweeh, he didn't say any of the ibadat that we're so familiar with. قال صلى الله عليه وسلم, تقوى الله وحسن الخلق. Being conscious of Allah and having good character. وَسُئِلَ عَنْ أَكْثَرِ مَا يَدْخُلِ النَّاسِ النَّارِ And he was asked about the main things that cause people to enter into hellfire. قال صلى الله عليه وسلم الفم والفرج. Once again, that which is between the lips, that which is between the legs, that which is a cause for either chastity or a cause for all sorts of lewd things. How you govern those things is literally the judge between jannah and naar, paradise and hellfire, according to the Messenger ﷺ. And so I want to give you an assignment for this Ramadan. So how do we measure it? First and foremost, once again, pay attention that the Prophet ﷺ mentioned that the people that will be able to judge your character best are those that are in your proximity. And so if I want to set character goals for myself, the first thing I need to do is be humble enough to identify my character flaws. And so I have a challenge for every single person that's here.
Whether you're a husband or a wife or a son or a daughter, I challenge you to ask those that deal with you most to give you an assignment. What is a character flaw that they recognize within you? Invite it. And don't say it, you know, after Jumaa Khutbah, like, you know, the Shaykh said I have to do this and kind of laugh it off. No, say, hey, I want to know. What have you noticed? And maybe this year's character flaw is different from last year's because it might be that through a circumstance you developed a new character flaw or a character flaw was amplified due to circumstance and you weren't paying attention. Every single person knows someone they can ask and say, I want you to give me one. Give me one or give me three. But give me one for sure. Give me a character flaw that you've noticed in me and that you think I need to work on. Everyone, ask your spouse, ask your parents, ask your children even. Give me one. And then take it to the next level. Dear brothers and sisters, as you're setting a plan for yourself of how much Qur'an you want to finish, of how much prayer you want to put forth, of how much charity you want to give in the Iman category, in the faith category, here is how I'm going to tackle this character flaw. Especially in Ramadan and erase it from me after Ramadan. But that takes a level of humility, taqwa and husnul khuluq. Those are the keys to Jannah outside of Ramadan and inside of Ramadan. It takes you being willing to humble yourself for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and have those things shown to you so that you can work on them. And so don't just set your Qur'an goal, don't just set your prayer goal, set your character goals as well for Ramadan. Dear brothers and sisters, if you could make a list of three things from now. We just got started, we're just in the first week. Three character goals from now that you want to work on. What are they? Put them down, work towards them
and make sure inshaAllah ta'ala those flaws don't show up again after Ramadan. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us to be upright in our faith, upright in our character, upright with our hearts, upright with our tongues. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us to use what He blessed us with to please Him and forgive us for the times that we use what He blessed us with to disobey Him. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us to become more aware of Him in this Ramadan and to become more aware of ourselves and more willing to worship Him and more willing to rectify ourselves. Allahumma ameen. Ar-Rahman ar-Raheem. And again, dear brothers... Al-Fatiha.
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