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Beyond Halal & Haram: Are You Numbing Your Heart? | Ramadan Khutbah by Dr. Omar Suleiman
What if the real danger isn’t just haram, but how we spend our time and focus? Many things in life are permissible, but does that mean they’re good for you? In this khutbah Dr. Omar Suleiman challenges the way we think about “It’s not haram” and warns us about this trick from Shaytan.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him. And we bear witness that Muhammad (ﷺ) is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him and those that follow in his blessed path until the day of judgment. And we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen. Just because it's not haram doesn't mean it's good for you. One of the main lessons that we are learning in Ramadan is that there's a difference between that which is bad for you and that which doesn't benefit you. Imam Ibn al-Qayyim rahimahullah ta'ala lists out this incredible list compiling some of the narrations of the Prophet (ﷺ) about the way that the shaytan attacks a human being. And it's important for us as we are in Ramadan where the effect of shaytan is reduced to increase and fortify ourselves with that which will make his impact on us after Ramadan less effective. And so I want you to listen carefully to the stages by which he mentions shaytan attacks a person. He said that he comes to you first and foremost as the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said with ash-shirk billah. He tries to get you to worship other than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, to associate a partner with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And if he is unsuccessful at getting you to worship other than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, he comes to you with al-bid'ah, with innovation. After ash-shirk billah, he comes to you with innovation. Because if he can cause you to innovate in the religion, then he has brought you one step closer to associating a partner with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala because you have effectively turned yourself or someone else into a legislator in the deen.
And if he is unsuccessful at getting you with ash-shirk billah or al-bid'ah or with innovation, then he comes to you with major sins. The most shameless and blatant of the disobedient actions towards Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So he comes to you with alcohol, he comes to you with fornication, he comes to you with ar-riba, with interest and usury. And if he's unsuccessful at getting you with a major sin, then he attacks you with muhaqqirat al-dhunub, belittling the small sins. And so basically these sins that don't in and of themselves qualify as major sins, but you don't take them as seriously. And so you insist upon them regularly. They become a part of your lifestyle and in your mind, they're not that big of a deal because they're not like those major sins. And I know plenty of Muslims that do these major sins. And in reality, when you're not taking those sins seriously, you're really not taking Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala seriously. And so what's represented in your insistence upon committing those smaller sins is that you don't see Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as great as he truly is. And then he says, if he can't get you with shirk, and he can't get you with innovation, and he can't get you with a major sin, and he can't get you with a minor sin, he gets you with something extremely interesting, kathrat al-mubah, excessive halal things. What does that mean? Indulging halal things, things that aren't necessarily sinful, but indulging those things which bring you no benefit whatsoever. Indulging in the neutral that is not rewardable. And just to mention the sixth point that we're going to focus on the fifth point. The sixth point, he says, if he can't get you with any of those things, then he turns your attention from a better good deed to a lesser good deed. And so you get obsessed with something very small.
SubhanAllah, Ramadan, by the way, that's very obvious, right? A person will insist upon, for example, salat al-tarawih, which is not as rewardable as salat al-jama'ah, a mandatory prayer in congregation. But I've got to catch my tarawih, I've got to make sure I get my tarawih. So he'll turn your attention from a greater good deed to a good deed of lesser importance. Now, here's the thing. He says that if he catches you with any of these things, his goal is to bring you into the category above it. So if you're someone who has a lack of priorities because you're not able to distinguish between a better good deed and a good deed, then he can eventually pull you into the category of indulging things that are permissible, but they're not necessarily beneficial because you have a lack of priorities. And if he can get you in that category where the heart becomes hardened and you're not connecting actively to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, then he can graduate you into a category to where you start to do some of the smaller sins and you don't take them as seriously because you're not doing the small good deeds or the good deeds that connect you to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And then if that seed is planted, then he'll graduate you to a major sin eventually. And if that seed is planted, then you will justify that major sin by innovation, right? And by basically becoming your own arbiter in the deen. And then eventually an outright association of a partner with Allah azza wa jal. May Allah protect us from all of this. Allahumma ameen. I want to focus on that fifth category because Ramadan is not just a month of abandoning the haram. Ramadan is a month of adjusting your priorities. Ramadan is a month of instilling in yourself 'uluw al-himmah, a higher aspiration, higher goals. And so I want you to pay very close attention to this narration. And he's combining three narrations in this treatise rahimahullah ta'ala.
The idea here is that there is a difference between that which poisons you and that which paralyzes you. And that which paralyzes you is sometimes the indulgence of things that aren't necessarily bad, but they're not beneficial. And that actually leads to a very particular condition of the heart, which is the hardness of the heart. And so let me put it to you this way. Let me give you some practical examples of this. Let's just say that your entire algorithm is halal. Nothing haram whatsoever. Perfectly halal, not beneficial videos, but halal. For whatever reason, mashallah, you've been able to carve out your space on one of these satanic platforms and nothing pops up on your feed. It's all just halal stuff. Nothing that's bad, nothing that's good. If you spent an hour watching all of that, then that is exactly the condition that's being referred to here. Let's say that you have friends that don't necessarily backbite, but they don't talk about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. There is no religious discourse. And by the way, one of the sure signs, as Al-Imam Ibn Ata'illah rahimahullah ta'ala mentions in his hikam, he mentions, مَنْ لَا يُنْهِضُكَ حَالُهُ وَلَا يَدُلُّكَ عَلَىٰ طَرِيقٍ That abandon those who don't inspire you with their state or guide you to the right way. One of the sure signs of a friendship that's of no benefit to you is if religious discourse is awkward in that friendship. Like if having a good conversation, a beneficial conversation is like, come on, what are you doing? It's those friends that you don't feel comfortable saying salam to, because salam is foreign. And that in and of itself is a sign of how foreign Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is to your conversations. And that's why subhanAllah, it's important to infuse within your social circles, conversations about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Yes, you could talk about sports. Yes, you could talk about halal jokes. You could do things that aren't necessarily beneficial.
But at least the nature of that relationship should be that the mention of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and a beneficial reminder is natural in that relationship. If you can't even have that, that's a sure sign that that friendship, that social relationship is going to lead to haram. But again, let's say that you spend an hour in conversation and at no point is there anything that's beneficial that's mentioned. At no point is there anything that softens the heart. No good reflection. There's something to think about. This is what this category is referring to. And the Prophet (ﷺ) says in the authentic hadith of Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه). Qala ala inna ad-dunya mal'una. He said, verily, the world is cursed. Now, by the way, this sounds harsh. But as the ulama of hadith mentioned, mal'una here means a source of deprivation. The world is a source of deprivation. Like we think about going out there and pursuing the world, and I'm fulfilled by my connections. I'm fulfilled by my algorithm. I'm fulfilled. I'm getting relief. I'm gaining something. And the Prophet (ﷺ) is saying, actually, ad-dunya mal'una. The dunya is a source of deprivation. And he said, (ﷺ), mal'unun ma feeha illa dhikr Allah wa ma walaahu aw aliman aw muta'alliman. He said, all of it is a source of deprivation. All of it is cursed, except for the remembrance of Allah or ma wala, subhanAllah. This is a hard one to translate, by the way. But the conditions that make the remembrance of Allah possible. So ma wala would be conditions that are conducive to the remembrance of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Like the factors are all there for the remembrance of Allah to come in it very organically. So the remembrance of Allah, or that which is conducive to the remembrance of Allah. Or a scholar, or someone who is a student.
One who is learned, or one who is learning. That everything else becomes a source of deprivation in our lives, if we're not able to transform all of those spaces with those beneficial things. And subhanAllah, Imam Ibn Rajab, rahimahullah ta'ala, writes a beautiful treatise. And it's a short one, and it's been translated into English. So if you have time to read it, he writes, it's less than a hundred pages. A treatise on qaswat al-qalb, what hardens the heart. And he's a beautiful writer, rahimahullah ta'ala, who wrote one of the most beautiful writings on Ramadan and lata'if al-ma'arif, the benefits of Ramadan and the benefits of fasting. So just read it when you have some time, inshaAllah ta'ala. The hard heart, what causes the hardness of a heart. And he mentions the narrations from the Messenger of Allah, (ﷺ), in this regard. And you'll notice that when the Prophet, (ﷺ), is talking about a hard heart, he's not referring to things that are necessarily sinful. But for example, the hadith of Abu Hurayrah, (رضي الله عنه), in al-Tirmidhi. Or, I'm sorry, the hadith of Ibn Umar, (رضي الله عنهما), in al-Tirmidhi. Where the Prophet, (ﷺ), is narrated to have said, لا تُكْثِرُ الْكَلَامَ بِغَيْرِ ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ Don't talk too much without remembering Allah. لا تُكْثِرُ الْكَلَامَ بِغَيْرِ ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ Don't let your speech be so much without the remembrance of Allah. فَإِنَّ كَثْرَةَ الْكَلَامِ بِغَيْرِ ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ قَسْوَةٌ لِلْقَلْبِ Because to speak too much without the mention of Allah, is how your heart becomes hard. وَإِنَّ أَبْعَدَ النَّاسِ مِنَ اللَّهِ الْقَلْبُ الْقَاسِي And the person who becomes furthest from Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, is the person with a hard heart. So you wonder why the Qur'an is not hitting me right. The lecture is not touching me, but it's touching someone else. The hadith makes someone else cry, it doesn't make me cry. Or not necessarily the tears, but it doesn't humble me. The reminder is not benefiting me. That's hardness of the heart. What hardens the heart? The Prophet (ﷺ) is saying, too much speech without the remembrance of Allah.
By extension, that means too much listening without the remembrance of Allah. Too much seeing without the remembrance of Allah. Too much indulgence of things that are not of the remembrance of Allah. And that's why the Prophet (ﷺ), who was someone who was بَسَّامًا ضحاكًا He was a joyful person (ﷺ), always with a smile on his face. And he caused people to smile. He had a dignified laughter (ﷺ). Not the loud laughter, but a laughter that subhanAllah, the back of his teeth would show. So he had a big smile. And that was his laughter (ﷺ). And he would bring joy to other people. But the Prophet (ﷺ) also said, لا تُكْثِرُ ضَحِكًا Don't laugh too much. Now by the way, our religion is not one that kills the spirit. Again, if you look at the Prophet (ﷺ), he had a joyful appearance. He's smiling (ﷺ). But the type of laughter that he's talking about is the heedless laughter. Not to get into details, but subhanAllah, you'll find the ulema of tazkiyah talking about the dignified laugh versus the laugh of someone who clearly does not care about the akhirah, that's not thinking about the akhirah. Right? So the heedless laugh versus the dignified laugh. And it's not the volume by the way. It's not the volume. SubhanAllah, the one who is engaging in that type of conversation, you know what it is. Right? Busting out, laughing, and there is clearly just a sentiment of harshness of the heart. Qala (ﷺ), la tukthiru dhahik, fa inna kathratu dhahik, tumitul qalb. He said (ﷺ), don't laugh too much because too much laughter kills the heart. Too much laughter kills the heart. Again, smile, laugh, have joy. But Sayyidina Ali (رضي الله عنه), he gave the most beautiful analogy, which makes sense for the fasting person especially. He said, make laughter a part of your conversation the way that you make salt a part of your food. You put too much salt in your food, you'll kill yourself. Right? You'll have a heart attack.
Put enough salt in your food. Put enough laughter. Put enough joking. Let that be there. But don't let it be to a point that it makes you heedless of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Because at the end of the day, it's a sign of a person who's not serious about life. Who's not serious about their journey with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala here. And fasting is to calibrate you in what is beneficial. And if you indulge the neutral too much, the permissible but not beneficial too much, then eventually it's going to lead to the next category where that sin's not that big of a deal. You'll start to permit in the excessive permissible those small sins until they become regular and to the point that they become unnoticeable. Because the harder the heart becomes, not only does it become less receptive to the revelation, less receptive to the remembrance of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, but it becomes less perceptive of the transgressions against the laws of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And it's the hardness of the heart. Now, how can we conclude this and particularly look at what's been given to us this Ramadan? Because Ramadan is just as much about filling our cup as it is about emptying the cup. And I want you to think about our Messenger (ﷺ). When Aisha (رضي الله عنها) finds him (ﷺ) doing more in his qiyam, we all know this hadith. Why are you praying so much? Allah has already forgiven you for all of your sins. And the answer of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) is should I not be a grateful servant? عَبْدًا شَكُورًا And there's a direct tie between gratitude in ibadah and going beyond the obligations. Gratitude in ibadah and thinking beyond the contract. Gratitude in ibadah and connecting every blessing that's in your life that other people pay no attention to, to an immediate natural form of dhikr
that makes that blessing truly blessed in the afterlife for you as well and gives you the added hamd, the added dhikr for it as well and makes it a source of goodness for you. It's gratitude that transforms all of that. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is giving you taraweeh. He's giving you Qur'an. He's giving you so much to do to develop a relationship of gratitude with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Would you really be anywhere else or anything else but a Muslim in Ramadan? Or are you feeling something that's very different here? Because at the core of it, sins come from ingratitude. Kufr means ingratitude and the ultimate kufr is to deny Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as oneness. But kufr in that sense, ingratitude is the source of every disobedience. And so here's my challenge to you as we come to the next, inshallah ta'ala, three weeks of Ramadan. Try to go beyond asking, is it just haram? To is it even displeasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala? Is it makruh? Because if it's not something that's pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, then I don't want to do it. Try to go from, is it just fard? Or is it fard or is it sunnah? Is it just a sunnah? You know, subhanAllah, there's a direct connection between these attitudes. Like you have halal in the middle and then you have the makruh, that which is disliked but not yet prohibited and that which is haram, that which is forbidden. And then on the other side, you have the sunnah and the fard. The praiseworthy and then the prescribed, that which is fard. There's a direct connection between the person who says, is it just makruh or is it haram? And is it just a sunnah or is it fard? Even visually, it shows how you're not expanding your full potential as a servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And Ramadan is about expanding yourself. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us a people that indulge the beneficial
and protect us in the process from that which is prohibited and that which is displeasing to Him. And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us from that which does not bring us closer to Him. And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala increase us in our ibadah, in our worship, in our character, in all of those things that are pleasing to Him. Allahumma ameen. أقول قولي هذا واستغفر الله عزيزه ورساله للمسلمين فاستغفروا إنه الغفور الرحيم واعفوا عنا ولا تعذبنا ربنا ظلمنا أنفسنا وإن لم تغفر لنا وترحمنا لنكونن من الخاسرين اللهم إنك عفو كريم تحب العفو فاعفوا عنا اللهم اغفر لوالدينا رب ارحمه ما كما ربونا استغارة ربنا هبلنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين وجعلنا للمتقين إمامة اللهم انصر الإخوان المستضعفين والمجاهدين في مشارك الأرض وغاربها اللهم اعز الإسلام والمسلمين وادل الشرك والكاذبين اللهم أهلك الظالمين بالظالمين وأخرجنا وإخوانا من بينهم سالمين عباد الله أن الله يأمر بالعدل والإحسان وإيتاء ذي القربى وينهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر والباقي يعظكم لعلكم تذكرون فاذكروا الله يذكركم واشكروه عن النعماء يزدكم ولذكروا الله أكبر والله يعلم ما تصنعون وأقيم الصلاة
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