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Resting the Soul and Avoiding Burnout | Khutbah
What outlets has Allah given you for your constant worries, overwhelming stress, unresolved disputes, and lingering sadness?
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Dear brothers and sisters, if I was to walk up to someone who even speaks Arabic and say, كيف البال? How is your baal? People would look at me funny. Because you'd be more accustomed to how is your haal? كيف الحال? كيف حالكم? How is your haal? Now, of course, if you don't speak Arabic, they sound very similar. And in fact, they have very similar meanings. And I know that there are similar words in Urdu and other languages to that. Your situation, when you ask someone, how are you? What do you mean by that? And what exactly are you asking about? If you walk up to someone and say, how are you? Are you really interested in knowing how they are? Or are you simply giving a greeting, right, as an extension of your salam? You've already moved on to the next part before you could even let them answer, right? كيف الحال? الحمد لله. كيف حالك? الحمد لله. How are you? الحمد لله. الحمد لله. I'm doing well. Now, the word baal is a very interesting word in the Arabic language. And it's a little more comprehensive and specific at the same time than the word haal. So I want to break this down a bit. And then I'll explain to you why I'm even doing that in the first place. A lot of times there is an external part to you. And when someone asks, how are you? What they mean by that is everything good with the family, everything good with work, everything going okay with your time. They're asking about predominantly external things. Fed well, you have your money, you're taking care of there, everything is good there. They're not really asking too much about your emotional well-being. They might be if they're really good friends, but they're not really asking about that for the most part. They're saying is everything covered? You know, as the Arabs used to say, يعني مستور. He's taken care of. When I say كيف حالك? How are you? I mean, are you taking care of? Are you good for tonight? You have a place to stay. You've got something to eat. الحمد لله رب العالمين. The emotional part of this, we don't talk about that part. Right. They used to get mad at the Prophet
صلى الله عليه وسلم for kissing his grandkids. This is different to them. Right. But go beyond that. When you go beyond that, how are you? How are you? And so before I get to the ayah that mentions this, it's very interesting when you dig deep into it, the word بال, which sounds very similar to حال, when used together, the Arabs meant البال refers to your internal states. What's on your mind? What's in your heart? What's keeping you concerned? What's keeping you up? What's letting you sleep? What are you looking forward to? What are you worried about from the past? What's keeping you down? That's what they mean when they say your بال. It refers more to the things that are not at the surface, whereas the حال, the situation of a person refers to things that are more external. A very simple analogy. Your بال would be what's on your mind. Your حال would be observable in some way with what's on your head. Okay. There would be an external notion of this. الفقر. Poverty is a حال. Right. It's something that you can see on the outside that definitely has an internal component. However, they're not the same. And to not get too technical here, but to also look at the spiritual dimension of this, a person's حال, a person's external might be الفقر. It might be poverty, but their بال, their internal might be غنى. I'm rich, الحمد لله, because غنى is غنى القلب. I'm rich in the heart. I am content, الحمد لله رب العالمين. I am content. Whereas a person might have غنى on the outside, their external state might be wealth, but their internal state is complete bankruptcy, complete poverty, complete فقر, lost on the inside. And so there's an importance here that we should speak about. Now, why is this important in the Quran when Allah says سَيَهْدِيهِمْ
وَيُصْلِحُ بَالَهُمْ وَيُدْخِلُهُمُ الْجَنَّةَ عَرَّفَهَا لَهُمْ That Allah سبحانه وتعالى will guide them and correct their بال, correct their internal, correct their condition. If you're reading a translation, the word is going to say condition, most likely, their state or their condition. And will enter them into paradise which He has made known to them. Okay, what does عَرَّفَهَا لَهُمْ mean? The Prophet ﷺ said, وَالَّذِي نَفْسِي بِيَدِهِ إِنَّ أَحَدَهُمْ بِمَنْزِلِهِ فِي الْجَنَّةِ أَهْدَى مِنْهُ بِمَنْزِلِهِ الَّذِي كَانَ فِي الدُّنْيَةِ The Prophet ﷺ said that, I swear by the One in whose hand is my soul, when you enter into paradise and you need to go home, there is no Jannah GPS. You don't need to ask an angel for directions. You don't have to be like, which palace is mine? Do I go here or do I go there? Which bridge do I take? As Ibn Abbas ﷺ said, commenting on this, you will go to your home in Jannah as a person who lived in a home their entire life, at no point in error, at no point confused, exactly where you need to go. And that's from the mercy of Allah ﷻ and that familiarity. Right? Because if you get into Jannah, you might get overwhelmed. Where do I go? Which one is mine? Is that one mine? Is that one mine? So part of the comforting part of this is that this is where you go. Right? You already know, you're already programmed to go home, to go to your palace in Jannah, and nothing looks more beautiful than the palace that you are entering into. Now, the dunya-y reward of this, the worldly reward of this, يُصلِحُوا بَالَهُمْ, Allah ﷻ will rectify their condition, means their internal thoughts, their internal state. Your mood could be your baal. Your emotional state is rectified as
a result of that guidance. You have the right perspective, you have the right thoughts, there is something there that corrects you on the inside. And you feel a certain way. You feel a certain way. Contentment, tranquility, these are all things that we seek from Allah ﷻ. يُصلِحُوا بَالَهُمْ Now why is this important to the discussion that we're about to have right now about balance and about barakah and about blessing and about how to be proportional and about how to relieve distress? And where do I find these outlets when I feel overwhelmed? Almost every person you talk to right now is overwhelmed in some way. Work is overwhelming, family is overwhelming, you know, the pandemic is overwhelming, something is overwhelming, I'm stressed out, I'm looking for something, and I'm not going to belittle the mental health component that is there. The spiritual upliftment is part of it, right, but it does not negate it. There is something serious there, there is something that is real there, there is something called depression, there is an emotional component of you, a physiological component of you, and while it is connected to the spiritual, the spiritual does not tell you to neglect those. Okay? However, when we talk about balance, when we talk about finding an outlet, one of the ways that we fail is that we restrict the discussion to time. Your family has a right upon you, yourself has a right upon you, so you need to give more time to your family, you need to give more time to yourself, which might be true. But the baal is not simply encompassed within time. Sometimes it's not about time, it's about the things that consume your thoughts and energy, even with less time. Alright? So if you give more time to these things, but you don't treat the baal, you
don't treat what it is that is consuming you, then you're not going to solve anything. It's not just a matter of giving more time here or giving more time there. It's not just a matter of taking more days off for vacation. It's not just a matter of taking more walks. All of that is good for you. But you can't treat this just in terms of time. Finding an outlet for what burdens you and removing what burdens you to the greatest extent possible is what's going to actually make you a more complete person. It's what's going to actually bring you to a desirable state. One that gives you what you want in this life and one that gives you what you want in the next. And so when we talk about outlets for the soul and resting the soul, how do we approach this? To some, it's simply worship Allah more. And you know what? If your worship can become a source of relief, alhamdulillah, when worship is done best, it's not just a reward in the hereafter, it's relief in this world as well. When worship is done best, it's not just reward in the hereafter, it's relief in this world as well. Arihna biha ya bilal. Comfort us with the prayer, O Bilal. I want to pray. I enjoy my prayer. Take me back to that prayer. Not just the dua to get me out of the situation. Dua in and of itself is an outlet with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Innama ashku bathi wa huzni ilallah. I complain of my sadness and my grief to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. I have those moments where I can release the valve and talk to Allah. The very act of dua is comforting to me. Whether I get exactly what I'm asking him for or not, the very fact that I get to go into that dua and have that conversation, I feel so much better. Think about a person that you really love. Just talking to them. The comfort of their voice, the familiarity of their voice. There's a release of tension there. There's a release of stress there just
because you got to talk to someone. You know, it was really great to talk to you. 30 minutes, an hour, whatever it may be, just having that person on the other side of the phone. What about when a person goes to dua? So dua is like that valve to just go into dua. Whether I'm doing tasbih or istighfar, glorifying Allah or seeking His forgiveness. Whether I'm asking Him for something of this life or asking Him for something in the hereafter. Release. Right? Ashku bathi wa huzni ilallah. I take it to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. I am in those moments with ar-Rahman. Al-khalwa bil-Rahman, to be alone with ar-Rahman is the greatest rahma to our lives. Let it out. Complain to Allah. It's okay. As long as you're not complaining to Allah, about Allah, complain to Allah. Talk to Allah. Relief. And that's what the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, comfort us with it. So the greatest relief, if done right, is worship. The worst burden is sin. Sin bears consequences that burden you. They constrict the chest and they eliminate your reward in the hereafter. Now, here's the thing about that. There's a lot that's in between here. Okay? The greatest relief is worship done right. The greatest burden is sin. What about other outlets in between that Allah has made permissible to us? That Allah has opened up for us? If you remember the hadith of Salman al-Farisi radiallahu ta'ala anhu with Abu Darda radiallahu anhu. Where the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam pairs Salman with Abu Darda. And Salman's sleeping in his house. And he realizes Abu Darda is way overboard with the religiosity part. His wife is being left behind. He prays all night long, fasts every single day. He's got no time for his family. He's got no time for this world. All he's dedicated to is his worship, his spirituality. And so what does he do? He forces Abu Darda to go and spend
some of the night with his spouse. He forces Abu Darda to eat lunch with him. Like some days you need to not fast. You need to spend some time with your family. And he tells Abu Darda, inna li rabbika alayka haqqa, verily your Lord has a right upon you, your family has a right upon you, wa li nafsika alayka haqqa, your self has a right upon you. Now, is part of giving yourself to your Lord not beneficial to the self? Of course it is. Of course it is. Again, worship done right, like Abu Darda would tell you, I'm really liking my qiyam here, I feel fine. I don't need to go for a jog, I've got qiyam ul-layl, I'm okay. So I'm giving my right to my Lord, but I'm also finding relief for the self. And if you are with your family, and you do for your family with the intention of pleasing Allah, isn't li ahlika also li rabbika? Isn't for your family also for your Lord? So what do the scholars mention here? The for yourself part, that the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam confirms by the way, when he says Salman told the truth, the for yourself part is primarily not something that is worship oriented. You can make it an act of worship, but every human being needs some time. Every single person needs some share of relief, de-stressors. They need time, they need leisure. And you know what's really interesting, is Abu Darda took the advice. Abu Darda radiyaAllahu ta'ala says, inni laastajimmu nafsi bi ba'di lahwi liyaakuna thalika a'onanni ala alhaq. It's one of my favorite sayings from him, and until today quite frankly I never connected it back to the incident that actually happened with him. Talk about waking up to the reality. He says, inni laastajimmu nafsi bi ba'di lahwi. He said, I find that my heart finds relaxation through some of a lahw. Lahw is entertainment, it's amusements, leisure. Some things that are lahw. To indulge in it is actually, can
become sinful. But he said, I find actually, sometimes that I find relief from, in my heart, in my heart, from some of those things. And he said, you know what, liyaakuna thalika a'onanni ala alhaq. That makes me stronger in my dedication to the truth. That gives me the energy to do what I am put on this earth to do. It invigorates, it gives me exactly what I need. I need those breaks. Abu Darda is saying, I came to that realization. I need those breaks. And so if this great scholar and great worshiper is saying sometimes I do those things, they're not necessarily acts of worship. But they're not haram. I don't do disobedience and then worship. I do worship and then mubah, permissible things. So I can be better with my worship, be better with my purpose. So that's one outlet that even the sahaba and the sahaba that were known for being distinguished by their worship are saying you've got to have that in your life. You've got to have that in your life. Now, as Imam al-Ghazali rahimahullah said, active leisure is better than passive leisure. Active leisure is better than passive leisure. So the sahaba preferred the throwing of spears, the shooting of arrows, the swimming, the horseback riding. They preferred that because there was a ibadah in that as well that was better. Active leisure is better than passive leisure. And by the way, even when it comes to mental, emotional well-being, active leisure is usually better for you than passive leisure. However, even some of the passive leisure, sitting down, telling jokes, reciting poetry, they did that stuff. And they did it because it gave them an outlet. You need a break. You need a relief. Take a break, get that back, and then go right back into what you're doing. The sahaba needed those things. However,
when they got into passive leisure in particular, they did not stay there for longer than what they had intended to stay there with. Meaning what? As al-Ghazali rahimahullah mentions that when they would recite poetry, they were mindful that they weren't going to miss their qiyam al-layl in a night in poetry. So they wouldn't binge poetry. Okay? Because they knew that would sacrifice their qiyam. They understood, let's sit for 30 minutes, let's sit for some time, let's share some poetry, let's joke around a bit, let's hang out. But they were mindful of the time. And so when they got into passive leisure, because sometimes passive leisure can become way past this time, you can go way past the window, they knew exactly how long they were going to spend in it. They didn't keep clicking the links. Right? Keep going down the hole. Keep watching the next video and the next video and the next video and the next video. Right? So it's halal in its nature, and there's a boundary that's intended before you even go into it. The next thing that we learned from the scholars in this regard is that one of the things that drains the soul, when we said we don't just address this with time, is that destructive distraction. Destructive distractions. So there are the disobedient distractions or the distractions that involve sin. There's the neutral, halal, mubah, keep it limited, but have it as a part of your life. If you can be active, that's better. And then there are destructive distractions. Destructive in what sense? Destructive in how much energy, how much head space, how much heart space they exhaust your soul with. Imam Al-Shafi'i says, and keep in mind we're coming up on the 15th of Sha'ban, in the middle of Sha'ban, Allah will look out to his servants. And Allah forgives each one of his ibad, each one of his worshippers, coming up next week. Not
because of the lengthy nights of qiyam, no. Because they remove from their heart shirk, they remove from their heart polytheism, and they remove from their heart shahna. They remove malice, grudges, they let it out. Clear your heart, empty it out before Ramadan, it needs to be filled with something else. Clear it out, right now. Imam Al-Shafi'i, rahim hu Allah, said, لما عفوت ولم أحقد على أحد أرحت نفسي من هم العدوات Once I learned how to forgive as a habit, and Al-Shafi'i was a man who was frequently backbited. Once I learned to just overlook and forgive, he said, أرحت نفسي Like, my soul just became so at peace, راحة. I'm not just talking about the reward. وليعفوا وليصفحوا ألا تحبون يغفر الله لكم Don't you want Allah to forgive you? Like, once I started letting stuff go, even the justifiable ones, it's not like Imam Al-Shafi'i was someone that was getting into a bunch of fights. Even the stuff like he had reason to be bothered by it, and reason to be drowned in it. It's like, once I learned to just let it go, and overlook it, أرحت نفسي Like, myself, my soul felt so much peace, من هم العدوات From the worries of enmity, the drama of grudges, the drama of enmity. You know, people get into these disputes. You lose sleep, you lose time, you lose energy, you don't enjoy your life anymore, because all you're thinking about is the chess match. That's not just a distraction, it's a destructive distraction. Go to Hawaii, you're still going to have your phone and you're still going to be thinking about that. It's not going to do anything for you. Go into Tarawih, Tarawih is not going to solve your problem, maybe temporarily. You just have to cut it. Cut it. Right? I'm not going to let this exhaust myself anymore.
Exhaust my heart anymore. It no longer will find space here, because it's taking a toll on me. Even if I'm justified. And then even when you're justified, this is not saying tolerate abuse, no, we have room for retribution and justice. But don't let it become so dominant in your life that it's all that occupies you. Keep it to the extent that you need to get justice, خلاص, move on. Move on. Find ways to get it out. For yourself, not just for the other person. But for the relief of the soul in this life, not just for the great reward, which is even mightier in the next. And so dear brothers and sisters, I want to end off with one thing, inshallah ta'ala, in this regard, and we're talking about the outlets of the self. The solution to burnout, because many people complain about burnout. And honestly, we're all feeling it, I don't want to project it on you. I'm feeling it. A lot of people are feeling it. I think most of you would say that you felt a little burnt out, that you felt like you're going through a lot, you felt like it's been a tasking time. The solution to that burnout is not more vacation time. Because more vacation time from an unhealthy life is not going to solve the unhealthy nature of that life. By the way, vacationing is a modern concept. Last 200, 300 years. Taking off a few days, and especially now with it being diluted with everything that we take with us to our vacations that totally defeat the purpose of physically putting ourselves in a different place, right? It's not going to be as beneficial. Not to say that vacations aren't good. I love vacations, and I'm sure you love vacations as well. But to say that it's not the solution, it's not the outlet, and it's not an excuse, and it's not in place of actually trying to find the daily habits, the weekly habits of healthy outlets with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, healthy balance with our worship, with our space,
with our time, so that we could have a better baal, so we could have a better state internally as well as externally. And so I give you seven things inshallah ta'ala to recap this. Number one, avoid disobedience even when you're down. It's not a healthy outlet. It's only going to burden you more. Number two, get rid of the destructive distractions that waste time, energy, head and heart space. The grudge is not worth it. The malice is not worth it. You get a greater reward in the next life, and you get relief for the soul in this life. Number three, active leisure is better than passive leisure when you have that choice. Number four, if you're going to engage passive leisure, which you should sometimes, then discipline its time, not just keep it halal. Discipline your passive leisure. Number five, bring remembrance, zikr, into your silent and active moments when you can. Bring zikr into your walk. Bring zikr into your time away. Bring zikr into your contemplation, into your relief. Bring zikr into your treadmill and into your working out. Masha'Allah we had the brother who came and took shahad a few weeks ago. He said that I was listening to the angel's tears while working out. I said, man, you've listened to it many times, masha'Allah, because huge biceps. Bring it into your active, bring it into your passive when you can. Number six, enjoy good company where you can that does not cause you to transgress the limits. Company of joy. The sahaba used to take along some of the funnier companions when they would travel because they knew that they brought some relief on the journey. But they knew that when they're with those companions, they don't have to worry about backbiting and gossip and all the other stuff that's going to drag them into some of the other things. So have people with you. Engage good company where you don't have to worry about transgressing the limits. Number seven, make worship your greatest relief. Make worship your greatest form of relief. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala let that be such for us. Allahumma ameen.
Alhamdulilahi rabbil alameen, wa salatu wasalamu ala rasoolihi al kareem wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajma'een. Allahumma kuffaril mu'mineen wa mu'minat wa muslimina wa muslimat, al ahya'i minhum wa al amwat. Innaka sami'un qareebun wajibu da'wat. Allahumma kuffaril lana wa arhamna wa a'fuw a'na wa la tu'adhdibna. Rabbana zalamna anfusana wa in lam takfuril lana wa tarhamna lanakun lana minal khasireen. Allahumma innaka a'fuwun kareemun tuhibbu al'afuwa fa'afuwa a'na. Allahumma kuffar liwalidina, rabbil hamhuma kaman rabbumna sigara. Rabbana ahablana min azwajina wa dhriyatina qurrat a'ayun. Waj'alna lilmuttaqina imama. Allahumma nsir ikhwanina mustad'afina fee masharik al-ardi wa magharibiha. Allahumma izzat al-islam wa al-muslimin, wa idhilla al-shirk wa al-kathibin, wa dammir a'daa al-deen. Allahumma ahlik al-dhalimina bil-dhalimin, wa akhrijna wa ikhwanina min baynihim salimin. Ibadullahi allahi ya'muru bil'adli wa il'ihsan wa ita'i dhil-qurba, wa yanha'an al-fahsha'i wa al-munkari wa al-baghihi. I'idhukum la'alakum tadhakkaroon. Fathkuru Allahi yathkurukum wa shukroohu alani'ma yizid lakum. Wa ladhikru Allahi akbar. Wallahi ya'ma tasna'oon. Wa aqeem al-salat. Al-Fatiha.
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