Khutbahs
105 / 221
Defining Masculinity Through Qur’an | Khutbah
In a time where so much confusion reigns, and understanding our very nature is clouded, Sh. Ibrahim Hindy discusses in this khutbah the importance of looking to the Qur'an to know what true masculinity is and what it means to be a real man.
Support free resources. Become a Yaqeen Sustainer today.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. The houses of Madinah. Umar ibn Khattab radiyaAllahu anhu was sitting with a group of his companions and he asked them a question. Tamannu shayt, wish for something. So one of them said, Atamanna law anna hadhaddar mamlu' bidh dhahab wal fidda anfiquhu fee sabeelillah. He said, I wish that this house were full of gold and silver and I would spend all of it in the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. But again Umar radiyaAllahu anhu said to them, Tamannu shayt, wish for something. So another man stood up. He said, Qala atamanna law anna hadhaddar mamlu' bidh dhahab wal fidda anfiquhu fee sabeelillah wa atasaddaq bih. He said, I wish this house were full of pearls and jewels and gems and I would give them for the sake of Allah and in charity. But once again Umar said to them, Tamannu shayt, wish for something. So they said, Ma nadri ma naqool ya ameer al mu'mineen. They said, we don't know what to say, oh leader of the believers. So Umar said to them, Lakinni atamanna rijalan mithlu Abu Ubaid ibn Jarrah wa Mu'ad ibn Jabal wa salim mawla Abi Hudhaifa. He said, rather I wish that I had men that would be similar to Abu Ubaid ibn Jarrah, similar to Mu'ad ibn Jabal, similar to Salim, the servant of Abu Hudhaifa. He said, I wish I had these men with me. These are three great companions of our Prophet ﷺ. He said, fa-asta'ina bihim ala a'la'i kalimatillah. He said, I would rely upon them in raising up the word of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Umar radiyaAllahu anhu, one of his names, he had many nicknames, was al-mulhim, the inspired. And this is because there were four different instances in the seerah where the companions had different opinions and Umar would give his opinion and the Quran would be revealed similar to the opinion of Umar radiyaAllahu anhu. He was a man of great insight and knowledge and understanding. What is the insight Umar was giving his companions in that house? He's telling them that to protect the honor of Islam, to raise the word of Allah, to protect Islam, what is most needed is not wealth, is not money, is not gold or silver, but rather he was wishing for men like Abu Ubaid bin Jarrah, like Mu'adh bin Jabal radiyaAllahu anhum. And a question that seems to be plaguing many, especially young men today, is what does it mean to be men? What does it mean to be a man? This is a question that maybe nobody would have wondered a hundred years ago and certainly not a thousand years ago. But we are living in a time where we are being removed step by step and day by day away from our natural inclinations, away from our disposition. What we would have understood through the fitrah, through our unadulterated, organic and spiritual understanding of ourselves has now become blurred to the point that a basic question like what is a man and what does it mean to be a man is unknown. I spoke about this topic once to a group of MSA students in 2005, 17 years ago. I gave a talk about manhood, masculinity in Islam, 17 years ago. And I have the exact same notes from that talk.
So I was looking them over recently and what was interesting was in those notes 17 years ago I was saying and writing that there was a concerted effort through media, television, movies and in the popular culture to blur the lines between genders. Back then, again 17 years ago, the media was pushing the idea of a metrosexual, maybe a term young people haven't even heard of anymore, those who are my age maybe still remember it. And it was the idea of a heterosexual male who has the mannerisms, dressing, manicuring, gait and the speech of a homosexual male. I saw this or we saw this as problematic 17 years ago and today this seems benign. Seems like not a big deal because you look at how today it's not the mannerisms of men that is being blurred, it's the concept of gender itself that becomes blurred. Now they argue that men and women themselves are an entirely social construct, that it's made up in our collective minds rather than being a tangible reality. This blurring of what is true and what is real leads so many people into confusion and disorientation. It's as if Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, exactly as Allah Azawajal has told us, نسوا الله فأنساهم أنفسهم They forgot Allah so He caused them to forget themselves. They don't even know who they are. Of course Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala makes it clear for us throughout the Quran that He created us as men and women. The verse that many khateebs begin Jum'ah with, يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ تَقُوا رَبَّكُمْ وَالَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِن نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً That Allah says, O humanity, fear your Lord who created you from one soul and from that
soul He created its spouse and from them He brought forward many men and women. رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً Our genders are created by Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, a tangible, biological, divine reality. Likewise, more and more popular in the culture, brought by very radical expressions of feminism, is the demonization of men and masculinity. It's not uncommon to hear refrains like, all men are garbage, all men are trash, yes, all men are like this. And the people who make these statements and claim that masculinity, being a man, inherently is toxic, they point to the behavior of some men who indeed are abusive, who indeed harm their families physically or emotionally. But it's gotten to the point that it's not just random people saying these things. The American Psychological Association, the APA, has defined traditional masculinity, being a traditional man, as a pathological state, meaning they're saying it's a sickness, it's an illness, to be traditionally masculine. It claims, and this is a quote, traditional masculinity marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance, and aggression is on the whole harmful. This has nothing to do with science, this is clearly their beliefs, and they are smuggling it into clinical treatment. This type of demonization of men and masculinity has led many men to be disaffected. After all, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala created men and women with innate characteristics, a fitrah, a biological disposition. Men naturally produce more testosterone. This makes them innately competitive, innately aggressive. And that competitiveness and aggression and self-reliance and protective vigilance, these
can actually be very beautiful traits when they are used properly, in their proper context. They can be leadership traits. But this culture of demonizing men has also led to a counterculture, something that is often called redpilling, or the redpill movement. And one of the major figures of this movement is someone named Andrew Tate, I'm sure many of you are aware of. For those who are not, to give you an idea of how popular he is, in the last 12 months he was googled more than Donald Trump and Joe Biden. And many young men are flocking to his type of rhetoric, including young Muslim men. But what's the problem? The problem is that people like Andrew Tate, who seem to be uplifting masculinity, the question has to be, what does he consider to be masculine? What does a man mean to someone like him? And when you look closely, his definition of masculinity is basically Hollywood's version from the 1980s. That to him being a man means you have fast cars, a lot of cash, haram relationships and many relationships with women, having a lot of muscles, and displaying acts of violence, and having very little kindness and empathy towards others. We are living in a time of confusion, and amongst all this confusion from the left or the right, from men and from women, we have to turn to our faith, to our connection to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, to really understanding what it means to be a man or a woman, means understanding and connecting to our fitrah and to our creator subhanahu wa ta'ala. In Arabic, to be a man, tarajul, or rajula, linguistically means to stand on your feet, meaning being a man is about self-reliance and about standing up for the truth and true principles. Now, a sister may ask, isn't it also true that women should stand on their feet, that
women should stand up for the truth? We say yes, but there are characteristics innate to men and innate to women. We can say that innate to women are the characteristics of being kind and empathetic, to being bashful and modest. Should not men be bashful and modest? Should not men be kind? Of course they should. But it may be innate to a man's disposition to have, sorry, it may be innate to a woman's disposition to be kind, and for a man he may need to acquire it. And when he acquires kindness and empathy, it will be in tandem with his masculine qualities, which means the way a man expresses kindness will be different than the way that a woman expresses kindness. And for the record, while this khutbah is about masculinity and manhood, there deserves to be another khutbah about femininity and womanhood, because so too are the traits of femininity, of being kind, of being empathetic, of being a good listener, of being sensitive. Even these qualities are being blurred, and women are told not to feel this way and not to be the way that Allah has created them to be. So what does Allah and his Messenger tell us about being a man? First of all, it's not your physical size and all the muscles you can put on with the use of steroids. The Prophet ﷺ, we know the story, when he told his companion Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, climb the tree and get something from the top of the tree for me. So ibn Mas'ud went up the tree, and some people began to laugh because of the thinness of the shins of ibn Mas'ud. The Prophet saw this, he said to them, أَتَضْحَكُونَ مِنْ دِقَةِ سَاقَيٍّ؟ Are you laughing at the thinness of his shins? فَوَالَّذِي نَفْسِ بِيَدِي لَهُمَا أَثْقَلُ فِي الْمِيزَانِ مِنْ جَبْلْ أُحُدٍ He said, I swear by the one in whose hand my soul is in, those shins on the meezan, on the scales, will be greater than the mountain of Uhud.
We know the other hadith of our Prophet ﷺ, he said, يَأْتِ الرَّجُلُ الْعَظِيمُ السَّمِينُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ فَلَا يَسْنَ عِندَ اللَّهِ جَنَاحٍ بُعْدَةٍ He said, the man who is grand and big, with all his strength and muscles, will come on the Day of Judgment, and he will not weigh more than the wing of a fly. And it's not about wealth or money. We know the hadith in which a wealthy man walked by the companions. The Prophet asked the companions, ما تقولون عن هذا? What do you say about this man? They said, يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ حَرِيٌّ إِن تَكَلِّمَ أَن يُصْمَعَ وَإِن خَطَبَ أَن يُنكَحَ وَإِن شَفَعَ أَن يُشْفَعَ He said, this man, most likely, if he were to ask for marriage, he would be engaged. And if he were to speak, he would be listened to. And if he were to intercede, people would accept his intercession. Then a poor man walked by in tatters. The Prophet said to the companions, what do you say about this man? They said the opposite. If he tries to get married, nobody would marry him. If he tries to intercede, nobody would accept his intercession. And if he tried to speak, nobody would listen to him. The Prophet said, this man is better than the first man, even if the first man were to be all of the earth, were to fill the earth. The second man would be better than the first. Yes, a man is to strive to earn money. But what if he's broke? He's still a man if he lives up to the principles of being a man. If he strives and Allah does not give him wealth, he's still a man even if he's broke. So it's not about wealth and money. What does the Quran and Sunnah tell us about being men? And there's so much to study in this area. The scholars have categories of muru'ah, the idea of being a complete man, of futuwa, chivalry and virtue. And these are concepts reinforced in the Quran. Allah says, الرجال قوامون على النساء That men are qawamoon, maintainers and protectors of women.
We know the dhikr of our Prophet ﷺ. He would say, لك الحمد أنت قيم السماوات والأرض O Allah, to you belongs all praise. You are qayyim of the heavens and the earth, the one who protects and maintains it. So true men are qawamoon. One of the scholars of Islam, Abu Hayyan, he said, المراد بالرجال هنا من فيهم صدامة وحزم ولا مطلق على من له لحية فكم من ذي لحية لا يكون له نفع ولا ضر ولا حرم He said, when Allah says رجال, men, are qawamoon, are the maintainers of women. He said, what is intended here is those who have seriousness and a strong sense of responsibility. And it is not meant to mean men unrestrictedly. Why? He said, how many people have beards and yet there is no benefit or harm from them. They don't do anything and they have no sanctity. Nothing is sacred in front of them. He said, that's not what this is speaking about. The real men are qawamoon, to maintain and protect our women with vigilance, with a strong sense of responsibility in front of Allah. That means to be self-reliant. That means to be striving to earn money to support your family. That means to be driven with duty and with responsibility. Of the true characteristics of manhood, Allah سبحانه وتعالى says, في بيوت أذنى أن ترفع ويذكر فيها اسمه ويسبح فيها بالغدوة والآصال رجال رجال لا تلهيهم تجارة ولا بيع عن ذكر الله وإقام الصلاة وإيطاء الزكاة يخافون يوم تتقلب فيه القلوب والأبصار Allah speaks about the houses of Allah in which Allah has ordered to be raised and that His name be mentioned. They exalt within them Allah سبحانه وتعالى in the morning and in the evening. Who is exalting in the morning and in the evening?
رجال, men. Allah says this, men. لا تلهيهم تجارة ولا بيع عن ذكر الله They are not diverted or distracted by business or sale from the remembrance of Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Allah tells us in this verse who true men are. They mention Allah. They praise Him in the morning and in the evening. And that business money does not distract them from praying and giving zakah. True men fear Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Ibn Hazm, he said the true man, the wise man knows that the only fitting price for his soul is paradise. You're not a real man when you give up prayer in order to make a dollar. The real man is willing to sacrifice that for Allah سبحانه وتعالى and for connection with Allah عز وجل. And the real men are those who are true to their word, especially with Allah عز وجل. من المؤمنين رجال صدق ما عاهد الله عليه Allah says from the believers are men who were truthful to their word with Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Truthful to their promise with Allah عز وجل. فمنهم من قضى نحبه ومنهم من ينتظر وما بدل وتبديل Amongst them are those who fulfilled their vow till death. And amongst them are those who wait for their chance and they did not change their commitment with any alteration. We know the story of the companion of the Prophet Anas ibn Nadhr رضي الله عنه that he was distressed that he could not attend the battle of Badr. And he made an oath, a promise with Allah سبحانه وتعالى. He said, Oh Allah if I were to be alive and witness another battle with the Messenger of Allah, you will see what I can do. His promise. And on the day of Badr he was there. And he was going towards the opposing army. And Sa'd ibn Mu'adh said to him, Where are you going? And he said, I can smell the perfume of paradise towards Uhud.
And he went and he fought until he was killed. And they found 80 stab wounds in his body. He made a promise to Allah سبحانه وتعالى and he kept it. This is the attribute of true men. When they make promises to the Creator or to the creation, they uphold it, they keep it, they preserve it. If they make an oath, they make sure that they fulfill it. Of the description of true men is that they are attached to the masajid. Allah سبحانه وتعالى tells us in the Quran of the incident in which the hypocrites tried to build a masjid, planning to use the masjid against the Prophet and against Islam. And they invited the Prophet to pray in their masjid in order to give their masjid the veneer of legitimacy. So Allah سبحانه وتعالى mentions in the Quran, reveals in the Quran to our Prophet, لَمَسْجِدٌ أُسِّسَ عَلَىٰ التَّقْوَى مِنْ أَوَّلِ يَوْمٍ أَحَقَّ أَن تَقُومَ فِيهِ That the masjid that is built upon the foundations of taqwa, of piety, has more of a right for you to pray in. فِيهِ رِجَالٌ يُحِبُّونَ أَن يَطَهَّرُوا In it are men. In the real masjid that is built upon taqwa are men. Now someone might ask, didn't the hypocrites in their masjid, aren't there also men? No, there's a difference between true men and fake men. There's a difference between true men and just males. True men are in the house of Allah SWT, and they are purifying themselves. والله يحب المطاهرين Allah loves those who purify themselves. And so true men have this connection to the house of Allah SWT. We see as well, Allah SWT mentioning to us another example of men. وَجَاءَ مِنْ أَقْصَ الْمَدِينَةِ رَجُلٌ يَسْعَى
قَالَ يَا قَوْمِ اتَّبِعُوا الْمُرْسَلِينَ That Allah mentions that there came a man running from the furthest part of the town. And he said, oh my people, obey the messengers. اتَّبِعُوا مَنْ لَا يَسْأَلُكُمْ أَجْرًا وَهُمْ مُهْتَدُونَ Obey those or listen to those, follow those who are not asking of you any reward and they are guided. وَمَا لِي لَا أَعْبُدَ الَّذِي فَطَرَنِي وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجِعُونَ أَأَتَّخِذُ مِنْ دُونِهِ آلِهَةً إِنْ يُرِدْنَا الرَّحْمَانُ بِضُرٍّ لَا تُغْنِي عَنِّي شَفَاعَتُهُمْ شَيْئًا وَلَا يُنقِذُونَ And he said to them, why should I worship not Him who has created me and to whom all shall be returned? Shall I take beside some gods? If the Most Gracious, Ar-Rahman, intends me any harm, their intercession will be of no use to me, nor can they save me. إِنِّي آمَنْتُ بِرَبِّكُمْ فَاسْمِعُونَ I believe in your Lord, so listen to me. Real men give da'wah. Real men call others to the belief in Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Real men challenge and respond to disbelief. Real men call people to the way of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. In the tafsir of these verses, this man is coming forward when this town is about to kill their messengers, kill their prophets. So he comes forward, this man whom Allah calls a man. وَجَاءَ مِنْ أَقْصَ الْمَدِينَةِ رَجُلٌ Wajaa min aqsa al-madinati rajul. A man came from the furthest part of the town to do what? To stand up for the truth. He challenges the people of misguidance. He calls the people to worship Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala alone. But the people of the town, they churn on him. As soon as he says this, and they begin to stone him. And as they are stoning him, and attacking him, and trying to kill him, he calls to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and he says, اللهم اهدِ قَوْمِي فَإِنَّهُمْ لَا يَعْلَمُونَ Allahumma ahdi qawmi fa innahum la ya'lamoon.
My Lord, forgive my people because they do not know. He is empathetic and wanting good for the people even when they are churning against him. And even in the most difficult moments, the most intense moments, the most harmful moments, he is churning to the truth and standing on his two feet asking the people to churn to the truth.
Welcome back!
Bookmark content
Download resources easily
Manage your donations
Track your spiritual growth
1 items
1 items
1 items
25 items
50 items
9 items
