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Acts of Worship

The Sin of Using People | Khutbah

September 9, 2022Dr. Omar Suleiman

In this khutbah, Dr. Omar Suleiman talks about the sin of using people. When we stand to benefit from someone, then dispose of them when we have no need for them, we fall into a specific form of ingratitude that the Prophet ﷺ abhorred.

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Transcript

This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.
We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, by bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him. We bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is His final messenger. We ask Allah to send His peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him, and those that follow in his blessed path until the day of judgment and we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahuma ameen. Dear brothers and sisters, last week as we spoke about this idea of being self-centered rather than having Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala at the centre of your life, and as I said I want you to be introspective and not to think about other people but to think about some of these traits as they may exist within ourselves. There was one point that we came to towards the end of the khutbah which I think is very important inshallah ta'ala for us to pick up on, which is this idea of a person who becomes engulfed with their selves, sees everything and everyone around them as either a threat or a tool. And I mentioned that when we talk about Fir'aun for example, you know, Fir'aun murdering children, it might not have really been about the children but it was more about at the end of the day they are a threat to his power, they are no longer of use to him. And many people may not be able to relate to such an extreme example. And so I wanted to pick up but with a very specific angle that we can take from this bi'idh Allahi ta'ala and it starts with the foundation of shukr, gratitude. And it's important for us to recognise that whether we're talking about the negative or the positive, we start with the foundation that's laid out for us in the Quran and the sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as inherent good qualities that keep, continue to bear fruit or negative qualities that are unchecked that continue to cause a person trouble. And when it comes to shukr, when it comes to gratitude of course we know that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala always starts off with gratitude to
him because no one has ever done more for you than him, no one has ever given more to you than him, no one deserves more praise and more thanks than him and then immediately goes to the parents. That is the methodology of the Quran over and over and over again. That you'll never be able to repay Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala no matter what you do. And you will never be able to repay your parents and even if you can't remember the moments that your parents held you, Allah is reminding you to play back the tape that your mother held you in pain, she bore you in pain and then she gave birth to you and then she went through all of that trouble and the father went through all of that trouble and even if you can't see it now, your existence, they were the sabab for your existence, the means by which you exist and so much in your life and so much of their life went into solely investing in you. You can't repay them. And then everything else follows. That's how this always goes within the Quran. Now when it comes to shukr, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala also distinguishes between the beginning of shukr and the long term manifestation of shukr. The beginning of gratitude is that you try to pay someone back and you thank them. You say alhamdulillah. The long term of shukr is al-wafa, is loyalty, is to remember without having to constantly be reminded what someone has done for you. And again that starts off with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has taught us through his messenger salallahu alayhi wa sallam that whoever does not thank the people does not thank Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Therefore the opposite of that, whoever forgets the favors of Allah upon them will always forget the favors of the people upon them. If you forget Allah's blessings upon you, you're going to naturally forget what people have done for you. And the most
insulting thing in the world is to use the favors and the blessings that someone has given to you against them. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala creates you and you worship other than him with what he created you with. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala descends his blessings upon you and you ascend your disobedience back to him. Allah gives you faculties, wasa'il, means by which you can know him and you use those faculties to disobey him, to know other than him and then to spread that which is displeasing to him subhanahu wa ta'ala. Then it goes to your parents. Your parents provide for you, they give you a means by which you can rise up and become what you become and then to use that to disobey them, to use that to hurt them. You know, subhanallah, it's something very simple but you know, it was a father was just complaining to me about a text messaging conversation he was having with his daughter. And you know, there are limits of course and bounds and you always have to speak to the general not to the specific circumstances or to the exceptions. And he's just showing me subhanallah, it's like this text messaging conversation with his daughter. And his daughter says all these horrific things to him and it's very unprovoked and it's just the times that we live in. And he responds and says, by the way, I'm going to cut the service to your cell phone because the phone that you just texted me that insult with, I just paid the bill this morning for it. So it's like, what's going on here, right? So it's insulting, it's extra insulting, compounded insult when you use the means by which someone bestows a favor upon you to actually hurt them. And of course with Allah Azza wa Jal, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has given us everything. So how do we disobey Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala with things that he has given to us? And then it comes to the relationships in life and the people that we have in our lives. When we abandon people, when we no longer feel
like we have anything to gain from them. And this is what I want to talk about today. It's a profound hadith from the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam that speaks to an attitude. Remember the Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam speaks to symptoms and outcomes so that we can be more introspective about qualities and attitudes and traits that we might have. Abdullah ibn Umar radiyaAllahu ta'ala reports that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said in an authentic hadith, من أعظم الذنوب عند الله من أعظم الذنوب from the worst of sins to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. So the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam would not share with us these traits if they weren't significant. When he says من أعظم الذنوب from the worst of sins, the most heinous of sins in the sight of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. رجل تزوج امرأة فلما قضى حاجته منها طلقها وذهب بمهرها. Profound. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, a man who marries a woman and then once he gets what he wants out of her, once he gets what he wants out of her and he already realizes he got what he wanted out of her, then he immediately leaves her and then he doesn't even fulfill her mahr because he no longer has anything to gain from her. Had his fun. That was it. It was over. Now this is an attitude. Now obviously a very specific situation here, the haqq of the mahr, right, which is a dain and it's a debt and those types of things. But it's an attitude the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is speaking to as well. How many times have we seen in our community someone who takes advantage, especially of a convert sister, a new sister, because he wants papers, doesn't tell her the entire time, gets his citizenship and that's it. That's low. That's low. You enter and you ruin someone's life and you don't even think about what you're doing to that person. It's that person's psychology. A person who gets into a relationship and then speeds up everything and becomes intimate and then once he's done having fun,
sends a text message, I'm done. What? You just entered into someone's life and went that far and then a text message, I'm done. I'm seeing it more and more and more. You know, that's it. No longer of any use. No longer of any benefit. A person has, you know, this whole glamorous outpouring with the wedding and then once you're no longer looking good on my Instagram, you're out. I need to upgrade my Instagram partner. You're done. Right? When you go into someone's life like that and especially taking advantage, using the most precious of what Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has made precious between two people and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says, He got what he wanted and then bye and forget about your mahr. It's an attitude. And of course this even becomes worse when it becomes the long term. When people who have shared a significant amount of life together, husband and a wife, don't forget the good times between you and suddenly you're trying to destroy that person because they no longer are an asset to you in every single way because you're no longer benefiting from that person. They're no longer of use to you. What are we, insurance companies? What's happening here? It's low. It's not manly. It's not womanly. It's not Muslimy. It's not human even. It's just not honorable and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is saying this attitude is a problematic attitude and it's always important when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam gives multiple examples because you can find the common denominator. He said Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, a person who employs someone, you know, gets everything out of that person, works them hard, takes their best years, takes their best talent, makes them all sorts of promises and then once the job is done, they're not answering
the phone anymore. It's low. Very low. Right? You got what you wanted out of the person. They got the job done for you. MashaAllah, they could find you in a second and you could find them in a second when you needed them. Now that they've done what you wanted them to do for you, suddenly they can't get an answer out of you. Suddenly you start to dodge them. Suddenly you start to delay the payment. Fear Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala with your money, dear brothers and sisters. It's the tongue and the money that's going to mess a lot of people up on the day of judgment. Fear Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala with the way that you deal with people. You know, the opposite of that, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam saying, pay a man before a sweat even dries. But we see it all the time in smaller capacities, right? You just disappear from someone when you no longer have a financial benefit from them. They can't find you anymore. It's low. It's not from the character of a Muslim. It's not from the character of an honorable person. It's not from the, it's not befitting to a believer. It's a great sin in the sight of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam even connected it to how we would deal with the environment around us, with animals. Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, someone who kills animals for fun. Yeah, we have that in our deen too. Allah did not leave anything around us except that he assigned rights to it. Because if you disregard human beings, then you're going to disregard animals, you're going to disregard your environment as well. Isn't that what we're witnessing right now? In this radical individualism? That we have no problem harming everyone and everything around us because, at least in my circle, I'm not seeing the immediate harm. So I'm going to use as much of it as I can. Subhanallah, imagine if the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says that a person who harms an animal for fun, what then of a person who harms a human being for fun? What then of a person who actually starts
to hurt people in their livelihoods, in their reputation, in their ird, and even in their very being for fun, to get a kick out of it? If this is the crime in the sight of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala for an animal, if an animal shows up on the Day of Judgment, complaining to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala about their rights. You know, Subhanallah, there was one brother who Alhamdulillah had embraced Islam after this past Ramadan. And he said it was the Judgment Day series where we're talking about Yawm al-Qiyamah. And I'm sitting here thinking he's going to talk about this time of standing before Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and how that meant something to him and how he thought about his salah and his prayer. I'm thinking something grand. And he said, no, it was actually this part where you talked about a bird showing up on the Day of Judgment and saying, Ya Allah, qatarani abathan. He killed me for no reason. He had no right to kill me. He killed me for absolutely no reason. And he said, while I was watching that, this bird landed right on my window sill and stared at me. And I said, khalas, that's it. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is sending me a message. But if the deen even assigned rights to that, what about your human being? What about your brother or sister in Islam? You don't just use people and then dispose of them. And in a world of consumerism, people become just as disposable as products. Parents, spouses, children, community, siblings. People become disposable. And you're always looking for your upgrades and your new features and all these different types of things. That's not how we're meant to function as human beings. Not with products and especially not with human beings, with other people. And with family and with community and friends and brothers and sisters and neighbors and people that have rights upon us that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has given to them. And when you look at the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, whether you're talking about family
or community, stranger or tribesman, one thing about the Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is he made it a point to let you know that he will never forget what you did for him. Ever. Even after you die. One of the greatest proofs of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's character, right? And you think about his marriage to Khadija radiAllahu ta'ala anha. When did the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam stop mentioning the favors of Khadija upon him? Did the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam used to get upset after she passed away and miss her just because it was great days of marriage and he misses her scent and he misses her smell? All of that is true. He missed her company. But what did the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam make it a point to say? That woman believed in me when no one else would. That woman spent on me when no one else would. With Abu Bakr as-Siddiq radiAllahu ta'ala anhu. Later on, Abu Bakr radiAllahu ta'ala anhu was not the physically, he wasn't the strongest person physically. He wasn't the greatest warrior in the battlefield. He wasn't the most useful person in Medina in terms of status and society and things of that sort. But you knew from the moment the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam received wahi to the moment that he died, do not mess with Abu Bakr radiAllahu ta'ala anhu. Even if you're Umar radiAllahu ta'ala anhu, don't mess with Abu Bakr. Because no, everyone gave me a hard time except for that man, as-Siddiq radiAllahu ta'ala anhu. Every single person except for that man. He responded and he gave me his all. I'll never forget him. The gate of Abu Bakr will never be closed to the masjid because Abu Bakr radiAllahu anhu deserves that status. Not because there's a use that I get out of talking him up right now. No, it means something. And on the other side, did the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam forget the Bilal's and the Khabab's of the world radiAllahu ta'ala anhuma when he got back to Mecca when he was a powerful man now? Did he forget the lower class people that supported him when no one else would? Or did he put Bilal radiAllahu anhu on top of the Kaaba to give the adhan? He's not going to
turn his back on Bilal and Khabab like thank you for your service, it was great when no one else would listen to me. No. There is a constant honoring of Sayyidina Bilal radiAllahu ta'ala anhu and Sayyidina Khabab radiAllahu ta'ala anhu. And when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam got back to Mecca and the Ansar thought, naturally, the man is home. Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. I mean we served him, we gave him what he needed, right? Maybe he misses home. Maybe he's going to come back to Mecca now, the place of the Kaaba. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam gathers the Ansar and says to them that not only am I coming back with you, but if the Ansar took a valley and everybody else took a valley or direction, I would go where the Ansar would go. If I could be an Ansari, I would be an Ansari. I am with you for the rest of my existence. Beautiful. He didn't forget them. He could have sent them back home and said, jazakumAllahu khaira. And they may have understood. He's back home now and he's in Mecca where it all started. But no, I'm going to be with the Ansar forever now. That's our messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. And that's his individual shukr and how he didn't use you when he needed you and then disappear when he no longer needed you. Always, his heart was with you, his thoughts, even if you didn't mention your favors to him, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam will mention your favors and remind you of what you did for him when no one else was there for him Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Now there's a community dynamic to this too. This isn't just an individual level and improve our akhlaq and make sure we're not using people or only there for people when we have something to benefit from them. There's a community dynamic to this too. SubhanAllah, I was thinking about this moment with Umar bin Khattab radiAllahu ta'ala anhu where he walks by an old Jewish
man who was begging in his khilafah. An old Jewish man who he saw begging in his khilafah. And Umar radiAllahu ta'ala anhu says about this old Jewish man in his khilafah who he sees begging, he says, Wallahi we didn't do right by you. And he said, Akhazna minka shababan waday'anaka shaykhan. We took from you when you were young and then we forgot about you when you got old. Talk about an ethic, subhanAllah. Umar radiAllahu ta'ala anhu makes you proud when he talks about this stuff. An ethic. You mean we took from you when you were young, you paid your taxes, you paid your kharaj, you paid your taxes and now that you're old you have to beg under my rule? And suddenly we forgot about you? And Umar radiAllahu ta'ala anhu takes this man himself to baytul mal, apologizes to him, to the treasury, gives him everything that he needs to live in comfort. Because it's not right. You paid us when you were young and now when you're old you have to beg in the same city where you paid the government? SubhanAllah. That's the mindset of Umar radiAllahu anhu. Now, dear brothers and sisters, the community element of this. And I'm going to, I'm going to go there. Where are the pioneers of the da'wah, the people that built masajid, the people that volunteered and gave themselves to this community in North America, to the Muslim community in North America and can't pay their health bills now and die homeless now? And I can name names but I'm not going to do that out of their dignity. Where, where are we asking about those old imams and those old dua'at and those old community volunteers and those people that volunteered and gave so much before YouTube was a thing, before the da'wah spread online? Akhadhna minka shababan, waday'na kashaykha. We take from you when you're young and then
you're gone. When you're old we forget these people. That's a stain on us as a community. The elders and the people that volunteer and the people that invest themselves in this community. Whether it is young or old, people that have been giving and giving and giving of their lives. And subhanAllah, we forget about them when they get older because they're no longer of use to us. That's a stain on us. You ask about your volunteers. You ask about the elders in the community. You ask about those imams that educated your children and now can't pay for the education of their own children. You ask about those imams that counseled you and those that taught you. You ask about those leaders and those community volunteers that counseled you when you needed help that visited your parents in the hospital and now they can't pay their hospital bills. You ask about those people that built Masajid, that fundraised for Masajid for years and years of their lives and now can't pay their house bill. That's a stain on the community and that's a responsibility on all of us. And you know what it means for each and every single one of us? It means that you don't take from the volunteers and the people that give in this Masjid and in this community. You don't run them through the ground and burn them out and take every bit of their energy and then don't even ask about them when they're no longer coming to the Masjid. Those brothers and sisters in Ramadan, those brothers and sisters in Juma, those brothers and sisters working around the clock in the Masajid and they're not thanked properly and then they get burnt out and they don't want to come anymore. We don't take from you when you're young and then lose you when you're old. We don't take from your energy and then forget you when you become deflated. You're still useful to us. You still mean something to us. I'm charging myself first. We need to do a better job asking about people and checking in on people. Even when we no longer have use, whatever that means, of those people. Their dua, wallahi, is enough for us if they continue. The solution, dear brothers and sisters, is you frequently, on an individual level, frequently remember the people who are there for you and reach out to them and thank you.
Number two, visit people and check in on them with no agenda whatsoever. The Prophet ﷺ mentioned a man who went out to visit another man for the sake of Allah ﷻ and Allah sent him an angel. And the angel came to him and said to him, where are you going? He said, I'm going to visit this brother of mine. The angel responds with what? What's the ulterior motive? Do you owe him something? Does he owe you something? Are you going there like salam, just want to say salam? No, you don't just want to say salam. Is there something underneath that visit? He said, no, no, I just love him for Allah. Then he said, no, that Allah sent me to tell you that he loves you as you loved your brother. Number three, don't throw away long-term relationships because of short-term ruptures. Accustom yourself to not letting the ruptures throw away everything before. وَلَا تَنْسَوْا الْفَطْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ Don't forget those long-term relationships over short-term ruptures. Number four, accustom yourself to charity with no benefits. لَا نُرِيدُ مِنكُمْ جَزَاءً وَلَا شُكُورًا To giving to people without wanting anything in return from them. Number five, as a community, we take care of our elders who gave us so much and we do better to make sure our volunteers don't burn out. Not just with an iftar at the end of it all or a celebration or a bowling alley. No, it's more than that. People that give to the community should have a community that cares about them as well. Even if they're doing it for Allah and we hope that they're always doing it for Allah. That starts with my own responsibility to those people. جزاكم الله خيرا Those people that volunteer even on the day of Jum'ah so that you can sit here and you can benefit and you can park your car and you can come in and you can enjoy the khutbah and learn from it. May Allah reward you all and may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reward all of those who give and give and give for the sake of Allah. Keep them sincere and steadfast and rewarded. اللهم آمين أقول قولي هذا
واستغفر الله لكم ورساله المسلمين فاستغفروا إنه الوفور الرحيم الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله وعلى آله وصحبه ومن ولاه ربنا لا تؤخذنا إن نسينا أو أخطأنا ربنا ولا تحمل علينا إسرا كما حملته على الذين من قبلنا ربنا ولا تحملنا ما لا طاقة لنا به واعفوا عنا واخذر لنا وارحمنا أنت مولانا فانصرنا على القوم الكافرين وصل اللهم وسلم على نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أدمعين وأقيم الصلاة
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