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Sami Hamdi's Path to Purpose | Iman Cave
Established in our careers with kids of our own, people begin to look to us for guidance. Are we prepared to show up with purpose at work, at home, and in our communities? How can faith inform the roles that we’re expected to embody in our lives? Sami Hamdi joins Sh. Abdullah Oduro and Co-Host Waleed Gabr to discuss how his connection with Allah drives his purpose and career in politics, and how—if you pay attention—everything is politics.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. I've never felt the ummah like I felt it in Van in Eastern Turkey in 2008 as an 18 year old sitting there and saying Allahumma, at this moment, I mean it for the first time. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah. You see how throughout that process he turned to Allah. There was an interest, right? Obviously, she's appealing to him, right? So he tried the twigs. And still is, Alhamdulillah. Oh, he's still is, yes, yes. So Allah has told you sabr here is not to sit and do nothing. Sabr is that when me and Sheikh Abdullah and yourself are sitting here and we don't know the outcome, we don't know what's on the other side. Allah is saying show sabr in the process and the opportunity will come. Show sabr in the mobilization and I will open the door even if you can't see it. I didn't know how it would manifest. I thought it was law, then I changed my mind, political risk. Then it was like, is it on the media? Is it on this? Is it? Allah makes you stumble through life. Positioning yourself within Allah's plan and acknowledging that Allah's plan would be the best plan for you. Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. I'm Abdullah Oduro and welcome to the Iman Cave, where we discuss issues of male excellence while being grounded in faith. I'm your host, along with my co-host, Waleed Gaber, who's the VP of the M Club. MashaAllah, tabarakAllah, may Allah bless him. And I'm here with our political analyst, Sami Hamdi. How are you doing, Sheikh? Alhamdulillah, okay. Good, good, good. He's our nomadic noble. He's been around the world along with Waleed Gaber, MashaAllah. These guys have traveled so many places and have so many experiences. If you would have been here before the actual gathering, I got so much information, so much knowledge. I remember when I was, subhanAllah, around, what was it, 19 years old. That was the time that I became Muslim. I think that was the time that real clarity came to my life. You know what I'm saying? The smoke was clear. I understood my purpose of life and my existence,
that it was something transcendent. But around the age of like 30, 35, you know, a couple of years younger than I am now, MashaAllah, it was different. I mean, before it was like, okay, what do I want to do with my life? Now that I'm doing with my life and my career or whatever it is that I'm being involved in, it's much more comprehensive because now there's kids in the picture, right? There's a lot of other things that are taking place in regards to me being a man. Now I'm a Muslim man and I've been Muslim man for over 20 years. So it's totally different. So with Waleed, like yourself, how do you find it with you in particular? I mean, how old are you? Currently right now, alhamdulillah. Currently right now. One week before I turned 39. One week before you turned 39? Yes, inshaAllah. So what have you found with this issue of purpose and like living your life as a Muslim, what that really means, right? Well, alhamdulillah, I feel first we're blessed and honored and it's privileged to be in this world of being a Muslim. You know, we've always been a minority of the minorities, especially when I was growing up in a pretty much a very Caucasian town in the suburbs in an area called New Jersey growing up. And subhanAllah, we had to find our faith early on. You mentioned being grounded in faith. I remember when I was 13, I, you know, at that time tried to establish my salah. Oh really? Okay. Because and that's when I started establishing because I felt I had to separate myself and to show and present ourselves as being Muslim, playing varsity sports, being involved in all the school sports activities and the like. So we always had to make it known that we were Muslim, but we were also part of the fabric of the American communities at large. Yes. I mean, now you're in your 30s now. So now you're looking at kids at that age now. How is it different? Everything has changed. Everything's changed. Every day we're looking at new trends and try and keep up with them.
I mean, I'm looking at my kids now, alhamdulillah, a father of five. MashaAllah. Alhamdulillah. Yes. All the credit goes to my wife, by the way. So we have to give the kudos and the credit to amazing wives and mothers that have actually helped raise and give us the leeway and the runway to go do what we need to do out and about. You know, now my kids are coming to an age, my eldest is a teenager. And now, subhanAllah, every day I was just talking to her this morning and I was like, I looked at her, I said, Mariam, you know, what you got going on? Now I'm at the time is that, you know, the seven, seven, seven, and just play with them and then seven, teach them and then the next is befriend them. Right. So now I'm in the cusp of that, you know, I'm trying to actually do it all at the same time. And, you know, we're learning from them actually more than anything. Right. And just trying to take notes and remembering that I can read with my two year old and also play with my 12 year old. MashaAllah. And then everybody in between and have fun with them and try to figure out a way to find a good balance. MashaAllah, MashaAllah. So kids, Sami Hamdi, hailing from the UK. One week in Tunis, next week in Australia. All right, land down under. Land down under, yeah. And Hamdi is here with us in Dallas, man. So, were you born Muslim? I was born Muslim, alhamdulillah, in a Muslim environment. And I always argue that there is a difference between the Muslim born in a Muslim environment and the revert. OK. And I didn't understand the difference until I read the book, The Road to Mecca by Muhammad Asad, where he describes when he went to Hajj, he's on the boat going towards Jeddah and there are a group of Yemenis who look at him and he's clearly European because he's from Austria. He was a Jewish man who became Muslim afterwards and he's doing his Hajj. So the Yemenis are asking him his story because he speaks Arabic as well with them. MashaAllah, you surprised me when you came at me straightly with Arabic. I said, where are you from?
But so the Yemenis, they came to him and he tells his story how he came to Islam. And the Yemenis go quiet and they go into a corner and they all start, you know, whispering, guarding each other. And they come, they bring him a small sum of money, whatever they have. And they say, please take. He says, I don't need the money. He goes, no, no. He says, you're better than us because we were brought up in a Muslim environment. Everything was catered towards us. But you saw the haqq for what it is and entered it and accepted it, knowing the price perhaps you had to pay in your own life. And that makes you therefore better than us. And the reason why that was significant for me is, is because when eventually you get to that experience where you were talking about the clarity as to your role in the Ummah, even the idea of being a man or the like, there is, you go, I think everybody goes through an experience where Islam goes from being an inherited religion to a religion that you adopt wholeheartedly. You choose it. And you choose it. And Ali Izzetbegovich himself writes in his book, Inescapable Questions, he says that during his teenage years, he flirted with atheism and communism and these ideas at 15, 16, 17. When he realized they couldn't produce a solution of life, he went back to the Quran and he argues at that point at 18, 19 years of age, he actually writes, he said, at that point, Islam became my own religion. And he said, my faith was never shaken again. So when you're asking what it's like growing up as a Muslim in a Muslim environment, the reality is that, yes, you're praying. But in hindsight, did I really appreciate what I was doing in my Salat? You know, when you're reading Al-Fatiha, Al-Rahman, Al-Rahim, do you appreciate all these things? So it was fascinating when you go through these experiences and we'll talk about them as well. No, and that's why I asked you, were you born Muslim? Because a lot of times when I'm with people that are born Muslim, I ask them, how many of you have converted to Islam? SubhanAllah. You know what I'm saying? Because they look at me as someone, okay, he was Christian, but I converted theoretically or reverted as some would argue. But those that are born in Muslim countries or in a Muslim household, Islamic household, you still have to make that choice. Of course. When was it for you? Like how it was for me? Me when I converted to Islam and then, you know,
that's when I really understood what the purpose of life really was. It was about Allah. Everything goes back to Allah. Yes. You know, as Allah says, I have not created the jinn and spirits except that they worship me. That's the premise. That is the, everything is couched in that. When did that verse come to light for you? Like when you said, okay, my choices and everything that I do as a man now, as a Muslim man has to be in light of that. How old were you? What happened? When people pose this question to me, there are two very distinct events that I remember almost every detail of. And I always point to those points that redefined my relation with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and also redefine how I viewed myself within the ummah. The first was as a 16 year old coming back from Mecca. And I hope I have the chance in future to go see it again in this lifetime. But I remember coming back from Mecca. And in those days when I used to go for Umrah, and this is what I want to say to every Muslim, in that when you go to Mecca, Medina, don't assume you'll always be able to go to Mecca, Medina. Because when you get to a position where you can't, you start realizing that I should have taken more with regards to the opportunity. Should have taken more chances. Because when you're next to Mecca, I remember this 15, 16 year old. Okay, I'll pray Dhuhr Asr there. Maybe I might pray Isha there, but you know, Fajr, you know, you pray in the hotel because you can't be able to get. And you look back in hindsight and you think I was such a fool because yeah, Allah, if you gave me one more chance to go back, I would not do it again. I would take advantage. But going back to the point, I was 16 years old flying back on Saudia. And I, at that time, I didn't like flying. You know, you say the Shahad a thousand times. I couldn't understand why a tube can fly that fast in the air. And you're looking at the window, looks like it's going slowly. So I was listening to Surah Taha by Shurim. And as a 16 year old, you're listening to it. And when you're listening to it, you know, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is telling Musa to go to Pharaoh. And Musa is, as a 16 year old saying it, answering back. Allah shows him two grand signs. Tells him to go to Pharaoh. Musa tells him, I have a stutter. I'm not sure I'm the right person. Send Harun with me. Allah, I'm scared. And he repeats again, I'm scared. And I realized Allah keeps reassuring him. So there I was a 16 year old thinking that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la punishes you
if you even show a hint of disobedience. But here he is showing incredible mercy to Musa Alayhi Salaam. And on the same flight, I listened to Surah Maryam. And Maryam says, I wish I had died before. And she knew she was the bearing of a miracle. So I landed back in London thinking, maybe my relation with Allah is wrong. But you only think about it for a day or two and you leave. The defining moment for me was, I played, and the yaqeen goes worldwide, Alhamdulillah. So I played football, the sport that's played with the feet. So I played with the football team. And we had an idea one day coming back from a match that we wanted to play in different countries against universities. So the first year we went to Turkey. Before we went to Turkey, my mother comes to me, she says to me, I said, why your mama? She said to me, I saw a dream that somebody with a long chin threw you in the bathroom and locked the door on you. Okay. Our captain had a long chin. So I knew who she was referring to. So I told her, mom, I don't run my life based on dreams. Okay. When we went to Istanbul, I hadn't contributed to the fundraising because my father told me I couldn't go, then changed his mind last minute. So the agreement was pay your ticket to Istanbul and back and everything in Turkey is paid for. When we landed three days into the trip, somebody whispers in my ear and says, Sammy, check that they've booked your ticket. I said, what do you mean? He goes, just check. I said, what, they're going to leave me stranded here for the rest of the trip, three weeks in Istanbul. And I'm broke and I don't want to go to Baba and ask him for the money to whatever. They said, just check. I went, I find they didn't book the ticket. So I say to the captain, why haven't you booked the ticket? He goes, why should I? Ask the team, like let them vote on it. I said, what do you mean? Vote to leave me stranded in Istanbul? Like what's going on here? So we entered the restaurant in Taksim Square and they decided to vote. Somebody said, no, I want to do secret ballot. Secret ballot for what? What is going on? To leave me stranded in Istanbul. So anyway, they voted. How old were you at this time? 18 years old. 18. 16 people voted not to pay for the ticket. Five people voted to pay for the ticket. So the team decided we leave Sammy here.
Okay. The Turkish brother translator comes out and he says to me, he says, brother, mashallah, it's the first time I see democracy deciding this. And I said to him, what do you mean democracy? Ali, do you know what he just voted for? He goes, brother, my English is not very good. You know, like, so I said, they voted to leave me here in Istanbul because they don't want to pay for my ticket to Van. He said, brother, we will look after you. But the point of the story is here. So I got on the plane with them and we went to Van and they said, yeah, fine. It all got sorted out for Sammy. When I landed, the Kurdish driver from Van says something in Turkish to the translator. And he says, why is this boy not eating the food that we provide? He says, because he's fasting. It was Ramadan at the time. He says, tell him iftar is in my house. And I didn't want to cause further friction with the team. I said, guys, they'll say he's getting special treatment. It's not worth it. So he tells him the story of what happened in Istanbul. So the guy turns around, very aggressively says something. And the Turkish guy says to me, Sammy, he's insisting iftar and you stay the night at his house. So anyway, I said, no. So anyway, he took me to his house forcefully. And he said, I will never abandon my brother to such a situation. The next day, another family came. They said, we heard there's a Muslim in London who is fasting, who was screwed over in Istanbul. They stayed in dormitories. I was staying in like palaces, like flats, that kind of thing. So in that moment, and I've given the story in brief, but I felt what an ummah meant. They couldn't speak English, by the way. We're talking through a translator. When we were in the masjid, people turned up in the masjid, a good 200 people. They said, we just want to see this Londoner who fasts in London. And when I saw it, and they looked at me with a love, like a long lost brother who had just arrived. And I had read about the ummah. Like we all read about the ummah. I had said mashallah about the ummah, the way we all say mashallah. But I've never felt the ummah like I felt it in Van, in Eastern Turkey, in 2008, as an 18 year old, sitting there and saying, Allahumma, at this moment, I mean it for the first time. Ash hadu al la ilaha illallah, wa ash hadu anna Muhammadur Rasulullah.
And this was that turning point. After that, when I came back, I said, I want to be part of this ummah. I want to be part of this ummah where I can go to a random place in Eastern Turkey, and it happened in Ghana the following year afterwards as well, where they start saying to you, because you're Muslim. Yeah, honestly, with jollof rice. And then they said, no man left behind. No, nobody left behind. No man left behind either. Even when we went to Ghana the following year, like we had like a black activist with us who, you know, on the plane, he said to me, Islam is racist. And your only example you have is Bilal Baraba. And I'm, bear in mind, I'm about to fly and I don't like flying. You know, but you know, It's not how the situation. Yeah, yeah, really. You remind me of Bilal, brother. Yeah, of course, yeah. I always remind him of Bilal. So I'm sitting on the plane thinking it's eight hours, you know, to Lagos and then Lagos transit to Accra. And I'm thinking, When we landed in Lagos, me, Tayyib, Nigerian brother, and Adnan, Bosnian brother, we hadn't prayed Maghreb Isha. Okay. So we're in Lagos airport transit 12 hours and then we fly to Accra. So Tayyib does the Iqamah. I've gone Allahu Akbar. Wallah, behind us, we hear, Okay. I did Taslim, I turn around, I find three rows of Nigerians praying behind us. Brothers, where are you coming from? Wow. We're coming from London. Hey, Muhammad, bring the food. We have guests. The black activist is watching it. And he goes, guys, do you guys know each other? He said, no. He goes, so what's this thing? And the Nigerian, Wallahi, the Nigerian turns around to me and says, in Islam, we have concept of Ummah. One brotherhood. And I was a bit bratty back in days. I said, hey, do you see that? Racism. At your finest. Honestly, but imagine as a 19-year-old seeing that. Embracing that. Feeling that. Yeah, I love it. You know, in Kumasi, we play the polytechnic. 4.30, the match starts. Maghrib 6.30. I'm fasting. Very unwise decision in that humidity and heat to play a football match as well. Because Allah says, So I thought, why not? Match finishes. Yeah, yeah. Talk about implementing. Yeah, yeah, so I thought, why not? And then, yeah, yeah.
And then the match finished, and I'm exhausted. I've played 90 minutes, and I find that they finished all the water. So I say, guys, how long to the next place? They said, one hour bus drive. And I'm sitting there thinking, Allahumma, like, now I understand what license means. I should have taken. And I'm sitting there, and they're like, oh yeah, Sammy, like, we're sorry. We shouldn't have finished all the water. And I'm going, ya Rabb, ya Rabb. Thirsty, oh man. Ghanaian brother who's not associated with the team. We haven't seen him before. Runs on the bus. Wallahi, as I'm telling you. Hey, I heard there's somebody here who's fasting. I said, yeah, it's that guy over there. Hey, he's over here. Wallahi, they came. They brought a big bowl of jollof rice with tilapia on top with a big bottle of water like this. They put it on my lap like that. The black actor is sitting next to me, and he says, yeah, and what about us? And wallahi, the Ghanaian guy says to him, he's my brother in faith, and he's fasting, and there is big reward to feed fasting person over here. And we have to look after him as well. Brother, bismillah, talk about Allah. And I turned around very cheekily to the guy. I said, hey, if they're saying an ayah for you, I don't know what it is, brother. Yeah, if I'm to become Muslim. But that's the point you were saying was that clarity. That was the clarity. You feel that this is part of the ummah, and that changed my perspective on marriage after. Because what happened is when I finally saw what the ummah looks like and how beautiful it is and how everybody said it's bleak and it's weak and it's this and that, but then you go out and you see how generous, even in their weakness, they're showing you generosity and looking after you and how they were like, we have to protect him. He was screwed over in Istanbul. We have to look after him. He will stay in our houses, in our fortresses and this kind of thing. It transforms how you view the ummah. So I said to myself, I get it now. Marriage, Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says you marry for four. Yes, I said, you marry for four. The wealth, the beauty, the status, but the best of you marries for the deen. I said, you know what, let me build my fortress that resembles the ummah. Let me marry for the deen. It's okay if I don't get along too well, like I'm an easygoing guy, whatever. But let me build my fortress so when I go out for the sake of the ummah, when I get too tired, I can retreat somewhere that is the fortress. Build the fortress first and then go out. Don't do it the other way around. You know, that's interesting. I want to interject on that part because subhanAllah, transitioning to the marriage, I mean, you have five kids. Alhamdulillah.
How old were you when you got married? I was engaged at 20. 21 with Dikkatab. And then I waited for my wife to finish her medical school. 23, we did the weddings. Wow, see, because that, you know, in this subject matter of purpose and like the reason behind our existence and living in accordance to that, it's beautiful because even this aspect of life, of marriage, you automatically think attraction. You think how beautiful she may be. That's a component of it. Like you mentioned the hadith, but the prophet, peace be upon him, he says, فَضْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ And that's beautiful because, you know, that's the difference with the man is بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ, the religion. There's always a religious, quote, unquote, transcendent connection with marriage. I think we were talking earlier, like when I got married, you know, in Medina, I had money before, but when the time came, wallah, I had no money. Welcome to the club. You know, I drove up to my, it's currently my in-laws. I drove up to their house and I parked the car around the block. Okay, why? Because it was worth $75. And he barely made it to the house. Okay. It was a gift my brother gave me. He's like, because you're, you know, I was a college boy. I was a junior in college. Not a nickel to my name. And I went. And as they say, go from the front door, right? And I was 20. I had nothing to lose at the same time. But everything to gain. You know, so I went and I told my father-in-law, very successful physician and whatnot. And I, my mother called and invited us over, you know, just a typical, hey, how you doing? We want to hear, we heard about you guys. We want to come visit. So anyway, we went into the house and I sat down just like we are right now. And I had my father with me and I said, we're here to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But you mentioned your father as well. The family plays a big role in lending their support as well. Even for me, the same way I got married at 20 years of age. But it's the family, it's the parents who said, okay, it's done for a good cause. From the time that I met my wife
and proposed was less than four weeks. Because I had, because basically I saw her at university and she annihilated somebody in a debate. Like she'd be like, I need to know who this person is, you know, like, and she said, and he said that she studies in my class. So I tried to talk to her. I remember she went into the university shop and she picked up her stuff. So I went to pick up the Twix and Nick, who plays on the football team with me, soccer team. He was the guy at the checkout, you know, the guy, the cashier. So I put my Twix and I said, Nick, all this is on me. And she went, excuse me. And I went, so anyway, for the next three weeks, I tried to make conversation, but she would never really give me too much of the time of day. It's called playing hard to get. No, really? No. But then one day I said, you know what, because I was Khatib at the university as well. I said, it's not good for me to get too involved in these kinds of things. I said, yeah, I'm going to plead with you. Like, just sort this out. Either get the feelings out of the way or give me an opportunity to go door open. So I did Istikharah, two Raka'a after Isha, four Raka'a when I wake up in the middle of the night, two Raka'a before Fajr. And I used to, you know, some people think Dua has to be very sophisticated. Wallah, my Dua is very simple. In Sujood, Allahumma, I know I'm not Musa or Zakariya alayhim assalam. Allahumma, I know I'm not deserving. Just give me an Ayah like you gave Musa. Not one of those feeling Ayah. Give me an Ayah like you gave Zakariya, and literally make a Dua. And on the eighth or ninth night, and bear in mind, I'm not like a Sufi by any stretch of the imagination, I saw a dream that the Tayyib who I had asked about her, brought me a Qurbani and said to me, Sami, it's Eid, sacrifice for the sake of Allah. And in the dream, I vividly remember, Bismillah, Allahu Akbar. I called him, I said, listen, go tell Sumayya there's a guy called Sami who wants to marry her. He said, bro, what do you think this is, 1500s? What do you mean go and tell her there's a guy called Sami? I said, Wallahi, she's going to say yes. And she said yes. And she said, yeah, I just need to hear it from him directly. And then two weeks later, I met her dad, a very terrifying figure with a big beard. And then two months later, did the Nikah, and then six months later, did the wedding, and we've never looked back.
That's beautiful. You know, I know there's a characteristic that you possess, and I think you still possess it now, that is very important for a man, particularly a Muslim man, because you see how throughout that process, he turned to Allah. There was an interest, right? Obviously, she's appealing to him, right? So he tried the two extraditions, and it didn't work. Oh, he still is, yes, he still is. As long as people say marriage, it dies, it doesn't. No, never. No, no, no, sir. No, no. So you saw that, but you turned to Allah because you know Allah is the ultimate one that's going to give it to you in the right way. And that's what's so important for the man, is to always turn back to Allah and make sure that his purpose is that. And it's not something that's tangible that is of this world. It is something that goes beyond that, as they say, transcendent. But that characteristic that I see, and that I see with you a lot, Waleed Mashallah, you do a lot of humanitarian work. You're involved with a lot of people. Everybody knows Waleed. You should make a T-shirt. Everybody knows Waleed. No. Everybody knows Sammy. Everybody knows me. Then Raymond's going to get upset. I've got a number. He's going to be like, what happened to my show? Oh, no. But I think it's with that characteristic of being bold, right? It's very important for the man to have a level of humility, but not be afraid. But to be bold in what he does, right? And to not have that level of lack of confidence. Because when you're not confident in yourself, how is anyone going to trust you? Because if you're not confident, how are they going to be confident in you? But ultimately, again, back to that purpose of being confident in Allah, that Allah is going to give it to you, right? So transitioning over to politics, right? You're a political analyst, amongst many other things. Masha'Allah, it's a barakah Allah. I don't know if that's a good thing, but go ahead. Yeah. Many people think that politics and religion, they're like antagonists to each other. But for us as Muslims, politics is a part of our faith, meaning that we get involved in it. And that is a way that we worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
But as a man, it's important to be bold in this chapter of life, in this chapter of involvement, or how I want to contribute. So what have you seen? When was it for you that you said, you know, I want to get involved in politics? I want to worship Allah via politics. I think that one of the things that is worth noting, first and foremost, is that politics is the science of human relations, first and foremost. The same way we feel happiness, sadness, despair, fear, confusion, and the like, is the same way that states feel it, because states ultimately are run by human beings. Even the way we're interacting between each other, while you may not be thinking it's politics, the reality, it's the way we communicate, the way we talk, the setting, it all imposes a framework through which we communicate with each other. And the way we navigate that is in its very essence, it's politics. And that's why when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in the Qur'an, أَلَمْ تَرَ كَيْفَ ذَرَضَ اللَّهُ مَثَلًا كَلِمَةً طَيِّبَةً كَشَجَرَةٍ طَيِّبًا Allah was trying to give you value to say that something you think is insignificant, in the eyes of Allah, is significant. That the good word is like the tree, أَصْلُهَا ثَابِتٌ وَفَرْعُهَا فِي السَّمَاءِ In another ayah, Allah says, وَقُلْ لِعِبَادِي يَقُولُوا الَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ Say to my believers to say that which is best. But Allah tells you why. إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَنْزَغُ بَيْنَهُمْ That shaitan will whisper, so be careful how you speak to people, in your mannerisms, how you communicate. Some people say, I can say what I wish. No, even in the Qur'an it says, be wary so you don't leave room for shaitan to play. And that's the very essence of politics. Speculation, suspicion, the media, they said this, they said that, and that kind of thing. And for me, the framework was firstly established by the book Wrote to Mecca by Muhammad Asad, and then later by Ali Izza Begovich, Inescapable Questions. The field of politics itself, I fell into it by accident. My father has a long history of activism in Tunisia before he fled and went to Tunisia. But in terms of my job, I fell into the job of political risk. And I found that everybody was very interested in the Muslim world, in investments, all the like. They would say, we want to know what's going to happen, who's going to be the next king, who's going... Everybody showed a really keen interest.
And you would find that where we used to think that they knew everything, I suddenly discovered, wait a minute, they don't actually know everything. You would see these people come and sit in the office in their great suits, the heads of these big companies, which I'm not allowed to name because of NDAs, but the big companies, huge, New York listed companies, they'd come and they'd be like, we're really concerned by an event that is happening in this country because it might result in loss of profits. We want to know what's going to happen. And you sit there going, we've been brought up to believe that the West controls everything, or that America, or that it's all seeing. And here they are sitting right in front of me, people from the State Department, I'm allowed to say that because they allowed me to, and some other like governments, and they don't actually know everything. And this is where I felt so humiliated because it's when I subconsciously realised that while I believed in Allah, I never believed him to be all powerful. While I believed in Allah, I never believed him to be overarching because I believe that while Allah is strong, also America is strong. While Allah is strong, also these people are strong. And it was so, such a crushing feeling inside my heart. And the reason why I give the example of that is because even in marriage itself, you learn a lot as you go on. So for example, my wife, when we first got married, often in the weekend, she'd go back to her family home. And I could never understand why every weekend we don't spend time together, she goes to her family home. Until subhanAllah, my sister came and whispered in my ear and said, bro, you need to try to do some romantic stuff, you know, like it's, no, as in like, you know, your marriage is also about mawadda and rahmah, it's about mawadda and rahmah, it's about kindness as well. And I realized the more effort I put in, such as establishing for a friend of mine, Nigerian, Tayyib, Allah Yusuf Khair, he set up this father's group where we used to sit together. He'd say, guys, I've decided to adopt something. Every Friday morning, I go on a date with my wife for breakfast. And I said, mashallah, I'm going to do it as well. And you see the impact that has. And then that changes your opinion on what it means to be a man. Because I grew up in a soccer environment where, football environment. Once you cross the water, you can change your language and your tone.
So I remember somebody in the changing room, because me and Tayyib, we got married younger. I got married first and Tayyib said, khalas, I'll get married younger, and we got married. And I remember some of the brothers who weren't married, they used to say things like, when I get married, my wife gonna cook, because my wife gonna clean. And I remember like, one of the, Tayyib remarked to him and said to him, brother, let me just tell you something. A meal cooked out of love tastes much better than a meal cooked because you asked for it. Allahu Akbar. You know, when a wife loves you, she goes above and beyond for you. And we use the word nifus. The word nifus. What's that, nifus? Like breath? Yeah, yeah, like it's, you know, the idea that her spirit is sold, her soul into it. She puts her soul into the food, yeah. You know when you call soul food? Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. That's our soul food. And then when, Now we're talking your language. Exactly. It's worldwide. And when you go through that experience, this is what I mean sometimes when you realize that subconsciously, while ostensibly you think you believe in Allah's attributes or understand it, subconsciously you have these locks on your brain. So when you go back to the seerah of the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, and you realize that he comes down from the cave of Hira, and he comes, and every writer, Ibn Hisham, two Martin Lings, they describe him as being frightened, shaking, and throwing himself into the arms of Khadijah radiyallahu ta'ala anha. If I was to say to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, did that, would you say that made him less of a man? Hashah! Would you say that undermined him? Hashah! What it was a demonstration of is what the marriage is supposed to be about in terms of his trust in Khadijah radiyallahu anha and how Khadijah viewed him in the elevation and how she covers him. She always embraced him. And that changes the perspective of what it means to be a man in marriage afterwards in that you grow up being taught that kindness is weakness. Don't be weak in front of her. Don't let her have her way. Don't let her have that. And you think, dude, what, is this a marriage? It's not a prison, subhanAllah. No, it's not. Well, some other brothers may be thinking it's a prison, but then they gotta try to get out of jail, out of dark. No, no, because I was gonna say, sometimes you realize as well, because I have sisters, and you realize afterwards that, you know, when the sisters, for the men, you know, we have our flats, so we have our homes. It's the sisters who come to live with us. You know, it's the woman who comes to live with us.
That act of the woman coming to live with you means that she's already taken the step where she's almost put herself at your mercy. Yes, yeah. She's agreed to be let go. The guardianship is transferred. She's entrusted in you. Yeah, the guardianship is transferred, man. And she's worried, what she wants more than anything else is to be valued. A woman will support her husband, provided the husband, she feels that she's valued by the husband. The reason women worry about marriage is because they feel like the husband is going to trample all over them. He's like, you know, cook for me, woman. Clean for me. And mind you, and you know, to that point, is that I feel sometimes I'm actually not doing enough to help my wife around the house. Even a simple reminder. She's like, hey, don't forget, you know, when you get a chance, I have to go to, I wasn't feeling well, just don't forget the dishes. Or just, you know, help me clean up around the house. Because we forget the double and the triple jobs that they're doing just to bring up our children, our offsprings. Yeah, no, no, no. And we pile everything on top. And you mentioned a word earlier, you said that impact word. So we got to take that, you know, I look at marriage as a ROI. We look at it as a return on investment, but we're going to call it return on impact. There's also a point, one of the things that changed my perspective on marriage that encouraged me to get married young as well, was there's an ayah in the Quran where Allah says, he puts mawadar rahma between husband and wife. And the reason that stopped me was because I read it and I said, wait a minute. So that means that I can be in a marriage and there'll be periods where I don't love my wife. Because Allah's put mawadar rahma, it means he can take away mawadar rahma. And then you see in another place where he says, even if you hate your wife, don't oppress her. So implying that love will go, and you're married, man, you know it as well. Love goes up and it goes down. And that's why when we mentioned earlier about those who marry for the deen, because when that love has those periods where perhaps sometimes it vanishes, and somebody put it to me quite wise, he said, if your wife loves you, she'll look after you. But if she doesn't love you, she'll still look after you because she loves Allah. And that way you'll sort, and I give you just a classic example, and Sheikh Abdullah, you'll know this, and you will know it for a lot as well. Let's be brutally honest. Like, and I'll be honest, I told my wife last night, she said, how is it? I told her, Sumaiyah, to be honest, it's lonely in the hotel room by myself.
100%. I'm far away from home. I want to see Salma, my daughter. I want to see Sulaiman. Yes, Sumaiyah, when I go to a crowd, the crowds, they come in droves, and each one is looking at you, looking for an answer. And I'm just a guy from Wembley who can, Sumaiyah, like I'm a bit, when your wife tells you on the phone, Sami, Ahmed Rabbik, to say, alhamdulillah, Allah gave you this opportunity, that Allah blessed you. Don't worry about things here. I've got it all sorted. I've got it all locked. That reassurance. You know the feelings. That's reinvigoration that it gives. It doesn't make me less of a man. The reason that I'm a man for it is because I accept that my wife is not an addition in my life. She's a pillar in my life. And because she feels valued, she acts accordingly. Inspiration. Yeah, and I tell a lot of people, I said, the only reason why I'm able to do everything I'm doing is because I got the supporting cast. Yeah, inspiration. I swear to God. Khadijah taught him, right? I swear to God. But how in the world did we transition from politics to marriage? Because marriage is politics. Because marriage is politics. No, no, you know, SubhanAllah. That's the general meaning, okay, okay. I'll give you an example. All right, go ahead. So, you know, as happens in marriages. Sami has an answer for that one too. No, no, sometimes you fight with your partner. Sometimes you fight with your wife, right? It's life. And some people have different ways of expressing anger. My anger is, keep quiet and just walk out the door because it's better than saying something, you know? You go, you gotta, over something so stupid, you know, something so silly, we argued about it. And this is where friends, you know, al mar'u ala dini khalileh. Man is on the religion of his companions. I have a friend of mine who's been my friend since the university days. He's with me in Turkey in Ghana. Saheb Saheb. Saheb Saheb, Tayeb Nigerian brother. One day, I sat with him in the car after arguing with my wife. And I said to him, Tayeb, do you know what it is, Tayeb? Like, I feel like I'm going through those periods where the love has sort of vanished and that kind of stuff. You know, we're fighting over little things here and there. You know, sometimes, and he listened to me for a whole hour, me complaining. Then he said to me, in his words, Kazi, when you come home, do you ever find, like, the meal is not cooked? I said, no, never. He said, your daughter Salma, her Quran,
how much of it is what you taught? I said, 99%. It's what Sumayya taught from Salma. When Salma goes to school, how does she do? I said, she's doing very well. Would you say she's well looked after? She's well looked after. How is your wife's relationship with your mother? I said, they talk and they're always together and she shows it really well. And he said, when you have, like, an interview stuff for that kind of thing, what's her reaction? I said, she rushes with the same passion and she tells me, wear this suit, wear this colour, wear this tie, that kind of thing. Bro, fear Allah, brother. Fear Allah, brother. What's wrong with you, brother? Fear Allah. Like, why have you become blind? And I went, it's not what I wanted to hear, but I'll take it. But you're right. And you go back with a different face, the way Saad Muad, you know, he's come back with a different face. You go in a different face and you realise that the kindness, sometimes you don't even say sorry to your partner, you just say, do you wanna watch a movie tonight? And that's politics. I accepted it. Let's move on. But this is politics. It applies even between states. You know, when the Prophet of Salam says, spread Salam among yourselves, spread Salam. We were talking, I was staying early in the car when Mu'taz was bringing me, and he said, what's the difference sometimes between UK and US? I said, when I was in LA, people would be like, hey, how are you? Good morning. We're like, whoa. The English are quite cold. But you realise, because the Prophet of Salam says Salam, when you look at somebody across the street, you're just eyeing each other. And he said, Salam. Oh, he's one of us. We're good. And you see it. When you walk into a room, yes, Sheikh Abdullah, when I walk into Yaqeen, and you're like, Sami, the way you do, Sami, even the beginning of the intro, you know, you do that, you're that kind of, I feel fuzzy inside, as any brother does. But why? Because it's politics. You've gone above and beyond to make me feel that way, which leads to a response in which I'm prepared to go above and beyond. That's politics. That's why I brought it back to the marriage, in that if you invest in the marriage, even when it's hard, you will get, and that's why now, alhamdulillah, I've been married, what, 13, 14 years now. Even when times are tough, you sit there, and I built my life with Sumaiyah. I built my life. This is what I meant earlier, when I told people, marry young, build your fortress first. Because when you go through the experiences, when you look back, she's part of every experience. The hard times, the tough times, such that you leave no room
to imagine a life without her. So that even when you're moving forward, you think, I can't move forward in life without this beloved wife of mine. So even when that period, where you feel like you don't love her as much, the respect leads to the love again. And this is where I finish on this point. You realize that there was a love that you thought was the correct love, but you know it's a different type. It's a love where you can't be without that person, because they've been there through so much. And I think that's the mawadda Allah talked about. And when you feel it, you say, alhamdulillah, ya rabbil alaih. No, no, no, definitely. No, that's subhanAllah, so beautiful, because that's what helps make you a man, and mold you to a man, in a particular customized way, with her in particular. Right, that expression of love, and that expression of wanting to serve. Yes. And that's where, kind of transitioning over to, to when we look at politics, like how are you Waleed, mashallah? How long have you been involved in the humanitarian work? Alhamdulillah, going on almost 17 years. Allah, Ibad, dealing with so many people. So what did you learn with, like for instance, in politics? Yes. If we're looking on the general level, like because when we think politics, we think of nations, dealing with nations, but mashallah, the generalization that you gave us is so beautiful and important. For you, when you're involved in politics, and dealing with different people, and organizations, and networking, which I think Allah has really blessed you in, mashallah, you're a connector in the book of The Tipping Point. And you're a connector, mashallah. What have you seen, and how does that make you connect with your purpose with Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, as a man? You know, it's all about going back, and you know, the Nabi, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, was amazing. He used to speak to people at different levels. He'd speak with the higher ups, and they're higher up, and very prestigious, and whatnot. He'd talk to other individuals at their levels. And I think that's where you read the person, and you figure out what approach, which avenue you want. And I tell people sometimes, just drop me in the middle of the room. Give me about an hour, irrespective of how many people are there. I'll try to figure out, and talk to every single person in that room. Okay, but a question, have you made mistakes in that process? Absolutely. Because that's what you'll find sometimes, with men, when they're trying, and when they're growing up, you know, that they make the mistakes, and then they give up.
Yeah, no, this is the internal battle, right? You gotta learn to see what you're good at, and what you're not good at. And I try to, like, you know, in leadership, right? They teach you, just focus on your strengths. Because if you keep trying to focus on your weaknesses, you're not really gonna get far, because you're gonna dump all your time in that, while you're focusing on your strengths, and what you're good at. And especially in the philanthropy world, and helping people globally, and irrespective, you know, in the tough times that we're in now. You know, we learn about different opportunities, and different communities, and with different people. You never know who you ever spoke to, that you helped inspire for them to become the next leader. I remember, SubhanAllah, I'll give you an example of the sister that, she was in MIT. I was given a khutbah, SubhanAllah. Maybe, probably 12 years ago. Then she was actually an undergrad there. 12 years later, she becomes a manager at Islamic Relief, and she said, if you never came to our school, and spoke to us in the college days, and you knew we were poor and broke, and you didn't inspire us, and you didn't speak to us on our level, and you didn't forget about us, I had no interest in serving Allah, SubhanAllah, in this capacity. Wow, SubhanAllah. And that's the thing, I mean, we talked about earlier, boldness, and having impact on people. SubhanAllah, Sami, I mean, seeing right now, when you're in the political sphere, I mean, the more general, mainstream political sphere, you know, SubhanAllah, Allah blessed you to come on the scene, or come at a particular time. I don't know if it's a blessing, but go on, yeah. It's a blessing. Wait, wait. It is a blessing, because we get to hang out with you. Yeah, yeah. I see you more often. I mean, it was funny, because when I first saw you, it was, it coincided with that verse, wa laa yahsum kakooluhum, inna al-izzati lillahi jamee'an. Right? Al-ayah. And he said, do not let their statements sadden you, for verily, the gracious is for Allah, the magnificence is for Allah, all of it is for Allah. And I remember you said that more than one time,
when people would thank you, you would introduce that, and you'd say, the izzah, the gracious is for Allah, SubhanAllah, all of it is for Allah. That impact has, it plays a role, you know, in the lives of many people that are seeing you, and that are watching you. Connecting that, what do you do, as far as making sure that me being involved in politics, and me, because let's be honest, you're gonna say things that are not gonna please certain people. Yeah. So as a man, you have to have that level of integrity, to be bold enough to go and say something that you know is right, and coincides with your purpose, but in the process of that, you're gonna displease certain people. Give us a small journey through that, like, when you started to get involved, and then now what's happening in Ghazni, may Allah protect our brothers and sisters, and nourish them with Iman. I mean, when you started to speak out, and I don't wanna use the term speak out, when you started to speak that which is true, about what's going on, and then analyze politically what you think may take place, from what has happened in the past, what have you seen with the results in that, in regards to human beings in general, but the Muslims in specific? First of all, it's important to stress that, everybody who goes through life, will say the same thing, that life doesn't pan out the way you planned it, when you were 16, or when you were 17, and a lot of it, you feel like you're stumbling through life, and I think this is a mercy, because in itself, it's a recognition that you plan, but Allah is the best of planners, and Allah sends situations, that guides you elsewhere. If you told me two months ago, that I'd be watching a guy I watch on videos, on Instagram and the like, that I'd be sitting with him here in Dallas, I'd have told you you're a madman, I'm not going to Dallas, but I go all the way to America, I've got football on a Sunday. We got football on Sunday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But honestly, it shows you that even now, even as I'm going forward, Allah is still opening doors, that I didn't think were going to be open. The reason why I start with that is, is because a lot of the times is, when it comes to the political analysis in and of itself, there was a period where, the videos about what's happening in Saudi Arabia, what's happening in these places,
some of them went viral or the like, some Muslims didn't want to believe, what's happening in Saudi Arabia. And you feel that isolation, you feel those doors closing, you feel like, people don't want to sit and have coffee with you, because they want to do Amr, they want to do Hajj, they're a bit concerned. And I remember even, when I was invited to Mass LA, they said, yeah, you've been invited, they sent the invitation. And the night before, I didn't even pack my bags. Because I was certain, they were going to withdraw the invitation. I said, have they not seen the videos of Saudi Arabia? But SubhanAllah, not only did they invite me, but my wife said, you see, all the risk belongs to Allah. SubhanAllah, Allah opens the doors, you're sitting there, and I'm giving you an example that's just a few weeks back, to show you that even now, Allah has still shown an example. In terms of dealing with saying things that might displease the people, I think that one of the things that's worth noting is that everybody has a certain set of skills and talents in certain environments that when they deploy, they are effective. But the reason Allah has done that is to ensure that nobody has all the talents that a human has, which means we rely on each other. And I'll give you a classic example. One day, I sat depressed in my house for about three months. And my wife said to me, why are you sitting down so depressed? I told her, I'm a man of fitna. She said, what do you mean? I said, all my stuff is politics. And politics is always fitna. And I say this, and I get lambasted here. I say this, I get lambasted here. I say this, I get lambasted here. I get it. Okay, I feel I'm doing the haq. But it's hard, like, she said, you keep talking about people reconnecting memories or the like, why don't we also do like travel guides, like, you know, like to take people and travel and explore the world. So anyway, it developed, we have this halal travel guide, and we take people to different destinations. The reason why I mentioned that is, look how Allah alters your perspective from places that you never thought. So my wife said, this is my version of jihad. And I'm going to with the halal travel guide. And one day, we're talking to this Ministry of Tourism in one of the countries. And they are saying things like, we are introducing a halal week in Korea. Why are you introducing halal week? It's the government subsidising halal meat in Korean restaurants in Seoul. Why are they doing this? Because we've calculated that November is when Muslims rush to Korea. Yes.
And I sit there going, so wait a minute, Muslims are like, when Muslims go to countries in force, they can force these industrial changes or that. So you start learning these things. And you start seeing, wait a minute, there are possibilities everywhere. I don't need to go full on here. I can go softly here and bring this person and push on this avenue, push this lever, push this lever, apply pressure here. Some people are like, we should be doing more to speak out. I say, you don't have to fight every single battle. I fight this battle, you fight that battle, we're complementing each other. I'm the right flank, you're the left flank, we leave other people for that centre flank. And the reason that applies back to political analysis is, is that when you go back to reading the seerah of the Prophet Muhammad, you start realising that one, when he was in Mecca, 13 years giving dawah, Allah gives him no power over Quraysh. Even at the end of the 13 years, Allah doesn't give him power over Quraysh. He tells him, you have to leave Mecca. And the Prophet makes that heartbreaking statement. Wallahi, you are ahabbu, you are the dearest land to me. And if your people had not driven me out of you, I would have never left you. You can feel the pain and the tears as he's leaving Mecca, going to Yathrib. Battle of Badr, as he's marching out, he has to look back. People forget, they skip this in the seerah, it's just a sentence they read over. The Prophet looks back and says, ashiru alayya, to Ansar, advise me. And Sa'd Mu'adh says, as if you're talking to us, Ya Rasulullah. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, is looking for reassurance. You know the imams who are leading from the front, the activists leading from the front, sometimes when they seek reassurance, the community says, go first and let's see what you do first. Here's the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, seeking reassurance. I read it, I said, subhanAllah, let me message Sheikh Omar Suleiman and Yasir Qadhi and these others and tell them, go, go, I'm with you. Maybe they need to hear it as well. You read it and that's how you interpret in terms of the politics. You go to Uhud, they end up losing through Khalid ibn al-Walid.
But Allah says in the Qur'an, if you are tough and hard on them, they'll vanish. So I'm thinking, wait a minute, the imam made a mistake, the brother made a mistake, I made a mistake in analysis, but here's Allah telling me, don't be harsh. And he says, forgive them, and we sometimes say, I forgive, but I never forget. But forgive, forget, and bring them back into consultation. And don't worry that if they do damage again, because put your trust in me, I'll prevent it. You go to Khandaq, Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam has no plan to resist Ahzab. You know, when we talk, we say, we don't know what to do amidst this pressure that's on us. He has no plan to resist Ahzab. Salman al-Farisi tells him, dig the trench. But when he's digging the trench, they have no plan as to how they're going to get rid of Ahzab who've gathered against Medina. It's Nu'aymin who comes to him randomly out of nowhere and says, you were saying Sami popped out of nowhere. I hope I am a Nu'aymin when I come and I say, guys, this is what you can do, you know, for the sake of Gaza. Nu'aymin comes and whispers in Abu Sufyan and Ghatafan and they end up retreating. I read that, I think, okay, I don't need to know the process forward. I just need to keep going. I need to dig my trench. I need to make sure I'm mobilising and I'm active and the opportunity will show itself. Treaty of Hudaybiyah, we're talking leadership, being a man, right? Treaty of Hudaybiyah, Omar ibn al-Khattab openly protests against the signing of the treaty. Sahaba refused to do the sacrifice because they're so angry that the Prophet Muhammad, and the Prophet, and this is where you go back to the marriage. He's in his tent. He has no idea how he's going to convince Sahaba to follow him.
And it's his beloved wife who says to him, go out and sacrifice first. Lead from the front. They will follow you. So you read all of that. And then you come to a situation like the US with Palestine and Gaza, and you start saying, okay, Prophet Salam didn't know about Ahzab, but that didn't stop him digging the trench. Let me go and talk to some of these institutions and have a strategy meeting and see what can we do. Sahaba, they refused to sacrifice because they weren't happy with the Treaty of Hudaybiyah. Let me go and tell them, guys, you may not like the situation as it is now, or the candidates that are available to you, or moving forward. You may not like it, but guys, I'm going to go forward because I believe this is the way forward. At least trust me and follow me in terms of moving forward. You start seeing how the seerah becomes a political book. And even when the Prophet Salam finally enters Mecca, and here's the point I want to make here, in that, you know, sometimes Muslims, we love to read ayat, and we think we understand them, but subconsciously we don't. And I'll give you an example. Allah says, وَمَنْ أَحْسَنُ قَوْلٌ مَمَّا دَعِيْلَ اللَّهِ وَعَمِلَ صَالِحًا وَقَالَ إِنَّ لِلْمُسْلِمِينَ And we say that very happily. The best speech is one who calls to Allah and does good deeds and says, I am from the Muslims. A lot of humanitarian workers say this as well. I'm not saying anything. It's true. I didn't realize, and this is the point I'm saying, where you're always learning and you're stumbling through life. When I was in Mass LA last month, they did an intro where they read this ayah and the ayah afterwards, and suddenly it clicked in my head. Because the ayah afterwards says, وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ And I said, wait a minute. So that ayah comes straight after dawah. The good deed and the bad deed are not equal. So when you're talking to the other side, if they are bad to you, we don't be bad to them. We stay good to them. And Allah tells you when to apply that. He says, when there is, even if there is an enmity between you and the other side, tomorrow they may become your warmest ally. So when I'm looking at Palestine Ghazal and everybody's shouting us down or the like, Allah has said that the dawah is not in nice, peaceful environments. It's also in environments where you're talking to someone who's your enemy today, and Allah will make them your ally. But it's the last part that I want to focus on. وَمَا يُلَقَاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا So Allah has told you,
sabr here is not to sit and do nothing. Sabr is, that when me and Sheikh Abdullah and yourself are sitting here, and we don't know the outcome. We don't know what's on the other side. Allah is saying, show sabr in the process and the opportunity will come. Show sabr in the mobilization, and I will open the door, even if you can't see it. And then when you go back to political analysis afterwards, you start, like I said earlier, when you deal with the State Department and the diplomats are asking you about what's happening in the Middle East, when you've been brought up to be taught that they know everything, you start saying, wait a minute, the Ummah's not weak. The Ummah's just under this illusion. Under the radar. And if the Ummah moves here and here and a little bit here, they can actually make the difference. They have agency. And we know when you come to that realization, Sheikh Abdullah, really for me, it was like a eureka moment. It was like, Ibadallah! We can do it! Wallahi, ya Ibadallah! Kamala Harris did a video where she's announcing a counter-Islamophobia initiative. So what, Sami? She's scared of you. She's recognizing a power that you have that you can deploy. Biden is saying Trump is gonna do the Muslim ban. Oh, so what? Ikhwani! Why would he talk about Muslims? He's scared. You know, suddenly it clicks in your mind one by one. And this is the point I wanted to make here. That's when you go back, and this is where it breaks my heart because it makes me realize how horrible you were as a human being without realizing that you keep saying that Allah is almighty and Allah is so great and Allah is always in control, but you never truly believed it. And the proof is that even in your 30s, you're still having these eureka moments where if you truly believed that Allah was always in control, it wouldn't need to be a eureka moment. You always believed that Allah was there. And that's why I'm happy that Allah is merciful. I'm happy that Allah is merciful and he's teaching us these lessons in this way. No, and that realization is so important, subhanAllah, that you're talking about those eureka moments and it kind of puts you in check and reminds you of the greatness of him and the manifestation of all of his beautiful names and attributes.
But when you're talking about these different situations in the seerah, and you're talking about, yeah, Ibadullah, wake up. You gotta see this khutbah, man. Move. He's giving the khutbah. Give it to us. He's giving the khutbah, man. And all of a sudden, he just starts like, yeah, Oma, move. Move, he keeps, move. Like, do something. Do something, get up and act. And that's what I was talking about, being bold. And I think that's what was felt and what is felt when people watch your presentation and you're someone, subhanAllah, with a man as far as even in your work, you know, there has to be a level of competence and confidence at the same time. You can be confident, but may not know, may not have knowledge. But when you have knowledge, you're competent and you're confident, this is what will make the Muslim man shine and thrive and have a rippling effect on people around him. And also on top of that, a lot of times, you know, when we're, usually when we go just in attendance, I usually attend like almost every event out there, just because I wanna also see where the Ummah's at, what community, where we can help, and we don't need to be on the payroll to go help people out, right? So a lot of times, you know, we'll even go when we attend an event and we'll see even the community struggling to raise the funds. It bothers me. So I'll go up and say, if you don't mind, I wanna make sure we hit our goals tonight. Masha'Allah. Are you gonna make sure? And then, you know, because we have to, we have to, because that success is our success. You know, at the same time, we gotta always see the Muslims at its finest. You know, sometimes people are very critical about our work and we're the most critical people about our own work, not the outside community. Because it's the internal politics that used to hurt us more than external. So if we clean that up a little bit, we're gonna put ourselves in a better situation. But you make a good point on that. And this is one of the most fundamental points about the whole concept of what you started with, what it means to be a man as a Muslim. As soon as you say that sentence, everybody imagines strength. But the reason what affected my perception of a man and why, like, it used to throw me,
I used to sit late at night and be like, I'm trying to reconcile it. When we say being a man, we think big muscles, big strength and the like. And then you read the Hadith that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, the strongest man is not the one who's strongest physically, is the one who's able to control his particular anger. I see the Prophet, peace be upon him, coming to Khadija, peace be upon her, and he's cowering and Khadija has to cover him, you know, to reinforce him. I see the Prophet, peace be upon him, like I said, in these battles, doesn't have the clear strategy how to resist them, but he still keeps going. I see that a man is not just about strength as much as it's also about his ability to demonstrate the kindness and the gentleness and the softness. And that's not weakness, that's strength. When the Prophet, peace be upon him, entered Mecca and showed such a formidable capacity to look at Hind, who had mutilated the body of his uncle Hamza, to look at her and say, I forgive you. I don't know if 99% of Muslim individuals would be able to do that. The Prophet, peace be upon him, in his rizq, in the kindness that he showed, he gave a door for Amr ibn al-Aas to carry Islam to Egypt. He gave a door for Khalid ibn al-Walid to carry Islam to Syria. He gave a door for Amr ibn al-Khattab, who used to beat up his sister for the Quran, to come and become al-Farooq. In the kindness, that is strength. And that's why I think if the Muslims don't appreciate that kindness is strength, they will never be a man, as long as you believe that kindness is weakness. And that's why this is what you reminded me of the A, it came from what you said. When you were saying, you know, sometimes we're tough on ourselves. Allah says in the Quran that the believers are ash-shaddau al-al-kuffari ruha ma'u baynaum. Ash-shaddau al-al-al-kuffar, not in that they are tough on disbelievers, but tough on repression, tough on oppression. In the battle, Muslims are fierce, but between themselves, they are gentle. When we're in the fight, we're in the midst, we're in the political debate, when we're on Sky News, or Piers Morgan, or this kind of, we are fierce in the battle, we are competent in the battle, we are tough. But Sheikh Abdullah, you know it, and you know it as well. When you've been on the road, when you've gone and you've told the Muslims, Ya Ibadallah, ummah, move. When you walk through your front door at home, your reaction is not, you know, like your reaction is- You hang that outside. No, you hang your jacket, and then your wife will tell you, how is he?
And I'll say, Sumaiyah. Because in front of her, you can do that, you know, like, and she comes and she restores your energy. That doesn't make you less of a man. That's the man. The man who has the capacity to allow the others to recharge him, and that's why I think that the beauty of Sahaba is not just Sahaba themselves. The beauty is that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, reinforced his beloved prophet with people who had the talents to carry his message after he died, to the four corners, even to Dallas, the middle of nowhere, on the other side of the world. And I wanna mention something. So, you know, we talk about the politics, we talk about even leading in different capacities, and imam level, and intellect and whatnot, and even philanthropy world. It's not for everybody at the same time. You know, Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, selects certain individuals to do this type of work. And I tell people, if Allah give you a God-given talent, use it. Because we ask Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, to continue to use us and not replace us. And it's really scary sometimes. And sometimes, you know, I know you're a head of, you lead the reverts in the Yaqeen Institute, like in the research and the support over there. And subhanAllah, when a new person comes into Islam, I actually start getting worried. I say, I hope that that person is not gonna come replace me. So I start, I gotta work harder. I gotta figure out what my next purpose is. I gotta make sure I get it together. You know, so we gotta always understand what our why is. What is the purpose? You know, because yes, being bold and courageous and forthcoming and whatnot, but at the same time, if we don't express ourselves in the best way, face, shape, or form, we're not expressing ourselves as a true Muslim. No, that's true. But on, and you hit the nail on the head, but also for those listening who might say, in response to what you said, how do I discover my why? You discover my why by asking Allah what your why is. I remember as a teenager, and I'll be honest with you, I used to say it without, I understood what I was saying, but didn't know how it would manifest. So you know, for example, you know, you'd be like,
I used to say, Allah make me like a minaret, you know, like a minaret for Islam. As a 14, 15, 16 year old, you know, and you'd be like, Allah make me a minaret, I don't know how. Allah make me a Sultan Mubeenah, give me like a Sultan, a power that I can use. I didn't know how it would manifest. I thought it was law, then I changed my mind, political risk. Then it was like, is it on the media? Is it on this? Allah makes you stumble through life, but it's this concept of why. And that's why I think that when many people get stuck on the concept of why, I think a lot of it has to do with this idea of positioning yourself within Allah's plan and acknowledging that Allah's plan will be the best plan for you. And I think you hit the nail on the head where you say you don't want Allah to replace you. That's why I think the best dua is not to hear Allah make me the one who delivers the outcome. Allah let me be the vehicle to try to bring about that outcome. And that's why when you mentioned earlier, and to be honest, I get when people start, they say, Sami, you've done this, Sami, you've done that, Sami, you've done this. But the reason I used to think that when I heard it, I'd be happy. The reason it evokes terror is because when you read Surah Fatir and you read that ayah, man kana yuridu al-izzata falillah al-izzatu jameeha. It's an unqualified ayah. There's no qualification. It's Allah saying, those who seek glory, let them know all glory belongs to Allah. And the terror is, ya Allah, though they are saying Sami, I know it's from you. Allah, though they are saying Sami this, Allahumma, I know you put me in this position and you gave me the honor of being the vehicle. Allah, they said it, not me. Allah, I'm innocent of what they say. Allah, I'm just celebrating. At least you gave me an honor that my voice was heard when once upon a time I used to sit on the couch and wish I could be just a vehicle. And when you realize that you're satisfied with that, the irony, not the irony, but sort of the strange thing about Islam is the moment you submit yourself wholeheartedly to Allah, the heavens open up and suddenly start pouring on you, subhanAllah. And the moment you arrogantly believe you're doing a favor for Allah, that's when the doors start closing. And that's why I love Muhammad Essed's quote that I read at 18 years of age that became the mantra
that at least I always try to remind myself with, it's not Muslims that make Islam great, it's Islam that makes the Muslims great. When Muslims allow Islam to elevate them, they become powerful. But when Muslims believe they're doing the favor for Islam, Allah humiliates them. For Allah doesn't need you, you need Allah. And that's why the story of Yunus A.S. is so terrifying. A prophet who goes to his people, gets frustrated and leaves, says these guys aren't worth it, gets swallowed by a whale. When he comes back, Allah destroyed the people of Hud, people of Saleh, people of Median. He destroyed the people of Nuh A.S. But he didn't destroy the people of Yunus even though they refused to listen to him. I think they're the only people Allah doesn't destroy even though they don't listen to their prophet because Allah was sending a message to us and the prophet by saying, Ya Ibadallah, I don't need you. I'm giving you the chance to choose for the honor to be a vehicle in delivering the outcome. And if you decide to reject it, I can replace you with another people. And that's what I mean. My heart suddenly goes, Allahumma la ilaha illa ant, ashhadu an la ilaha ant wa ana muhammad abduka wa rasoolak. And Allah, I'm honored that you've elevated me in the status and I know that to keep it, I need to pray to continue being a vehicle. And may you always allow us to be a vehicle. Two months ago, I was sitting at home saying, you know what Sumaiyah, I think all those bin Salman videos and all these politics videos and the like, I think khalas, I'm destined to be isolated, sitting in my living room. She told me, beware your statement of kufr. Don't be like that. That's, and subhanAllah, I find myself saying. Shaitan versus. No, subhanAllah, it shows you that Allah truly opens the doors. min haythu la tahtasim. Absolutely. And what, and this is the point I want to finish here is that there is, I want to say to those who are listening, that you may think that you will arrive to a point in life where you have it all figured out. You won't, even until your deathbed, you won't. And that's why Allah made trust in him so important. In that no matter where you are in life, trust in him. If you fight with somebody, you can make a dua and say, Allah ease his heart so that he forgives me for it. Allah intervenes in these things, but you have to believe that he intervenes in these things. And I love that Allah does so. And I said to Sheikh Abdullah yesterday, I said, sometimes, you know, everything's happening so fast,
I'm not sure even my feet are on the ground at the moment, you know? And I am forced to be in a situation where Allah, you know, don't let me make a mistake. I don't want these hit jobs like they do on other imams or that kind of stuff. But hamdulillah ala fadla, you know, wa kafa bihi wakila. And there's no one better than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to handle the affairs. Yeah, yeah, no doubt about it. I mean, and that's really, you know, at this age that we are now in our 30s and 40s, really by the time, this time of our life of understanding purpose and really just honing in on that and allowing what we do. I mean, this is all responsibility, right? Being bold, being courageous, being confident, being competent and using it in a way that's beneficial for yourself and for society. That's the greatest exemplification. And also the last thing to being grateful as well. And being grateful, exactly. Because we're in a very, we're in tough times and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will test people in their own capacity. And I'm grateful to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. I know we all are that, you know, he's not challenging us like he's challenging others. Right. Because we will know how we're going to handle it. And being grateful that we're able to serve Islam and serve Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. I'm being grateful for being Muslim. Absolutely. I think people keep underpinning this point. When Surah Al-Imran, when ulul al-baab, ulul al-baab are those who know Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. When ulul al-baab are making a du'a, they say the people, ulul al-baab are those who ponder the creation of Allah, standing, sitting and lying down. And they say, Rabbana ma khalaqta hadha. They say, Allah, we acknowledge only you created this. They are the ones who make the du'a, Rabbana la tuzih qulubana ba'da idh hadaytan. Allahumma, please don't guide us out of the deen after you have guided us. The reason that's a terrifying ayah is if people who are the closest to Allah, closer than us, are making this du'a and expressing a terror that Allah will take them out of this deen, why is it that I have this arrogance that I assume that I will always be on the deen? And that's where the gratitude comes in. In that to keep it, you have to show that gratitude. And that's why, and even on the point of courage that you mentioned, people assume courage means no fear. Courage means that despite the fear, you keep going. And the proof is that Surah Taha, which I listen to Surah Shuraym, and even when I recite Surah Taha, I just copy, you know, like Shuraym. Because I love the way, like it's just something that's in my heart,
is that Musa Alayhi Salaam, there's at least three ayahs where he repeats, fa awjasafi nafsi khifatan Musa, qala rabayna lana khafa ay yafrut alayna wa yatgha. Musa Alayhi Salaam says he's scared, despite the fact he's spoken to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And that's why I think sometimes in the concept of man. And being a man, being a man doesn't mean that you don't feel fear. It doesn't mean you don't hesitate. It doesn't mean that when you go through tough times, you don't feel like your back is being broken. Some people feel they have to put on a show. No, being a man means that even in those times of difficulty, you are aware that Allah can deliver you, that Allah can flip hearts, that if your wife has given you grief over the fact you're broke, Allah can make her heart patient for you. If you ask him to, if you ask, and if you show kindness to her, you can win her loyalty so that one day, as happened to me once upon a time, when I didn't have any money in the bank account, my wife realized I wasn't going to football for two months. And I didn't, I was like, no, I'm a proud man. Astaghfirullah. I'm not going to say to her. And one day, wallah, she walked into the living room. She put 10 pounds in my hand. She goes, go play football and stop this pride between the husband and wife. There's no pride between husband and wife. And you know, in that moment, she won me. In that moment, in that moment, she tamed the lion. In that moment, I was hers. That's gonna be our part two. In that moment, I was hers. Do you know why? She saw it. She identified it. She didn't put me through a humiliation of admitting it. She literally just went, you're my husband. I care about you. She knew what you were. You are my honor. What was your ticket? I promise you. That was your ticket. I remember that moment so vividly because that's the moment where I went, you know what? Alhamdulillah. That's the moment where I stopped. I don't need to impress. My fortress is built. The last brick of my fortress is done. And that's why when I travel, when I go back, I feel like I'm going back to my fortress. I feel I enter my gates. The gates closed behind me and I see my family and they say, come, welcome home. Let's recharge you. Because you're entering your Jannah. Alhamdulillah. MashaAllah. Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless you brothers, man. It was a great session. Alhamdulillah. And I think it's important that we listen to this and that we really ponder over it and let it reflect, have introspection, see about whatever was talked about, how it is in your life
and how that helps in making you a better man in living your purpose. Because everything we're talking about here is manifest of what we're doing in this life to say, thank you, Allah. And the more we keep doing that, the more we're humble. And that's really what the humble servant is. And that's really what the Muslim man should strive to be. Illa liyabudoon. Accept that you worship me. And that worship is done through all of what we're saying here. So may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless you brothers. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless you all for tuning in, in the Iman Cave to where we talk about male excellence while being grounded in faith. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
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