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Masculinity through Allah's Names | Iman Cave
What are the ways that a man could embody the characteristics from the Names and Attributes of Allah? Sh. Ammar AlShukry joins Sh. Abdullah Oduro and cohost Ust. Morad Awad to reflect on the ways that keeping Allah at the forefront of our minds can teach us both strength and vulnerability, generosity and honor.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. The invitation card would say 7 p.m. and we'd be getting ready at 10.30. We'd be out the door at 11. West Africans too, brother. A lot of times we go through the most difficult circumstances and we do it alone. Number one, because we don't volunteer information and number two, because we don't have a culture of checking in on each other in a deeper way. Years later, we were talking passively and he was like, man, and I remember when my father died, only one person called me. Only one person called me. He wasn't taking a shot at me. He was just saying it passively and I was like, yeah, I was from the ones that didn't call. The second level of humility is to accept as brothers whom Allah accepted as servants of his. Allah accepted these people to be his servants. You won't accept them to be your brother. Who are you? As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. And the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you all. I'm Abdullah Oduro and welcome to the Iman Cave, where we discuss issues of male excellence while being grounded in faith. You know, there's something called a Ta'assi bin Nabi salallahu alayhi wa sallam. Ta'assi is what you would know as being an exemplar or someone that is trying their best to act out a particular characteristic. When particularly talking about the names and attributes of Allah, some of the scholars talk about a Ta'assi bin Asma'ihi, living out the names that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la calls himself. Now, when we're talking about the creation of human beings, they're not like Allah. Allah is a much greater example. But when it comes to certain characteristics that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la names, such as mercy, such as being kind. Is it important for a man to have these characteristics?
Is it important for you, young men, to take care and be diligent in embodying these characteristics? Look no further. Today, we have our beautiful guest, Masha'Allah, Tabarik Allah, to talk about how these names of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, how it is important for the young man, the male, to have these names and attributes of Allah in his mind when he wants to live forth and embody some of these beautiful characteristics. We got my man, Murad Awad, Masha'Allah, entrepreneur. And the youth enthusiast of the decade, Masha'Allah, may Allah bless him. Alhamdulillah. And Murad has, Masha'Allah, the old time, old school here, Masha'Allah. Sheikh Ammar Shukri, Masha'Allah. Look out for his names and attributes series that he will have coming out, Insha'Allah, with Yaqeen and outside of that, Masha'Allah, Tabarik Allah. And also, look out for his spoken word, Masha'Allah. Do you have any books out on spoken word yet, Sheikh? I do have a poetry collection called What the Pen Wrote that's available online. They can get it at Amazon. Masha'Allah, Tabarik Allah, Masha'Allah, Tabarik Allah. So what made you get into spoken word? It's in the water, Sheikh. It's in the air. It's in the water, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I grew up in New York. I've known Sheikh Murad for a very long time, the New York, New Jersey connection, Alhamdulillah. And over there, you just grow up. It's just, you know, it's just, it's in the air. It's in the atmosphere. It's the city of, it's the birthplace of hip hop, as they call it. So it's just, it's over there. No doubt. You said the East Coast and hip hop. Actually, the guys that call me to Islam, I used to battle them before I became a Muslim. We used to battle each other in hip hop. I used to be in, you know. You got some bars? Oh, I had, yeah. It's about to change. Okay. But the poetry never leaves, man. You know, my father was a musician. So he, as far as the wordplay, that's something that just never leaves. Alhamdulillah. What made you get into, well, before that, how did you grow up? So hold on a second. When you say that they brought you into Islam, what was it? Like the loser has to join my religion? Like that, you lost some bars to some Muslims? That's fire, Shaykh. You lost some Muslims?
Like you have to take Shahada or what happened? You know, something like that. I mean, we used to battle a lot. And then they used to say certain things in their rhymes. And obviously we listened to, you know, guys back in the day. It was the Biggie, Nas, Exhibit, all those. So it was one day I was just sitting with them at a certain occasion, alhamdulillah. And I just asked them about Islam. I said, they said, they said the name of Allah. So I'm thinking, you know, the nation of Islam or something like this. So then one of them said, it's in the hands of Allah. And I said, what do you mean hands of Allah? Because I asked them about the Illuminati. You know, back in the late 90s, we believed in like the Illuminati. And, you know, that year 2000. We didn't change. Like the year 2000, it was like the year 2000, Illuminati is going to come big brother plan, you know. So one of them said, it's all in the hands of Allah. And that's where it just took off. Asked them about Islam. And, you know, they're from Brooklyn. And then they started talking about Islam and it just resonated so easily. But alhamdulillah. But you being there at that time, how was it growing up for you? So you're originally from Sudan? Yes, sir. So you were born in Sudan? I'm from Sudan. I lived most of my life outside of four years that I did in Sudan. Fourth grade, fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade, I did in Sudan. You did in Sudan. Before that, I was in New York. And after that, I was in New York. In New York. Okay. So how was it growing up as a middle schooler to high schooler in New York? I mean, when you're looking back at your childhood, you wear those colored glasses, right? You always enjoyed it, loved it. Pizza was a dollar a slice. It was incredible. You know what I mean? I mean, it was just, it was a very, very, I mean, for us, it was just exciting. You played basketball after school, soccer on the weekends. Sudanese community was very, very tight knit. Felt like it was barbecues every weekend. Really? Yeah, yeah. Big Sudanese community was in Queens? In Queens, yeah. Okay. It was a very tight knit. That type of immigrant experience, all living in the country together.
And so social life was incredible. Now that I've reached the age of my parents when they were, when I was a kid, I'm impressed at the energy that they had. Weddings, Sudanese weddings, for example, used to, we used to have a, I always tell people, we used to have a hall that was owned by a Sudanese. You know, one of our uncles, Al-Hadi Sheikh, he used to have a wedding hall in the Bronx. And so the invitation card would say 7 p.m. And we'd be getting ready. You already know that. We'd be getting ready at 10.30. Oh, man. We'd be out the door at 11. West Africans too, brother. The bride and groom would show up at midnight. When you get to the hall, there's nobody there, except for the white friends of the bride and groom. They're the only ones who were there at seven o'clock. Everybody else was showing up at midnight. I did not know until I got to college that it was not normal to pray Fajr at the wedding hall before going home. I have many memories. I have memories of my dad, Rahimullah, driving home. The sun is out. It's 7.30. We're all in the car going home after a wedding. So it was just, and that energy was just, that was constant. My parents, their 40s, their 50s, their 60s. That level of just socialization and presence. And now when we're talking about masculinity, I think one of the things that we're missing out a lot on is just that type of socialization, that friendship, that sense of community, especially as guys get older into their 30s and 40s and 50s, they start to have less and less friends and they have less and less camaraderie. Yeah, no, you're exactly right. I mean, subhanAllah, and that's why this is important. Having a place where men can just gather and talk about male issues. Any man cave. Any man cave, right, and increase their iman because ultimately we're going to talk, you know, kind of delve into that because what's the connection? You mentioned hip-hop.
Did that have some kind of effect on you getting into spoken word? I just, you know, I don't let things slide, Sheikh. And you said, you know, we listened to, he said Biggie and Nas, and then he slipped in Exhibit. And I was like, what? He said Biggie and Nas. And those guys are considered to be some of the best who ever did it. And then you just kind of snuck in Exhibit, some guy from the West Coast who's not on that level. Oh, so you're taking shots at the West Coast? I'm just saying, I'm just saying. Oh, he was one of them dudes, man. I don't know, man. We don't recognize him in the East. Ooh, Shaq, all right, LA, that's them. This is both East Coast. I'm in the South. You're going to use, you're going to use. I'm in the West Coast, y'all. We're in the middle. In the West Coast. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Samar, when did you meet the lyricist here? When did you get into some wordplay? Clearly, Ammar, we met in Masjid Tawheed in Jersey City. And for a while, I knew Ammar as somebody from Jersey City, because I'm from Patterson. Okay. And Patterson, we're like our own clique. Their own world. Yeah, yeah. We're in our own world in Patterson. And Jersey City was their own world, too. So when I got to meet Ammar, I'm like, oh, man, I thought he was from Jersey City until I found out he commuted from Queens. I'm like, man, you paid all that toll and transportation and everything. Why are you coming here? And he's like, yo, Shaykh, Shaykh Fallah I don't even know. I started to study with the Shaykh as well in Masjid Tawheed. And mashaAllah, you know, he was kind of a murabbi. You know, I think as- Are you talking about me right now? You're talking about the Shaykh? Shaykh. Yeah, yeah, alhamdulillah, absolutely. I was like, what are you talking about? No, no, we murabbi baad, you know. No, alhamdulillah, we were together. And Ammar had a nice group of shabab from Jersey City around him. He's one of the earliest youth workers that I like knew. Somebody that dedicated their time and energy and effort and like put it in. Like these kids, you still know them till today. I mean, now they're- I mean, those guys were my friends. You know what I mean? He does youth work. Don't let- I don't like youth. That's my secret. No, no, no, that's not-
You agree. Shaykh Fallah, he was doing some good work. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, put in your scale of good deeds. I just want to take the time out to really mention something. Because right now, you're from Philistine. Awesome. Asalat and Yanni, originally from Philistine. And you're from Sudan. Right now, we know that right now, currently, there's a lot of challenges, to say the least, of what's going on with our brothers and sisters in Palestine and in Sudan. And a lot of times people don't even realize that there's civil war in Sudan going on right now. And I think it's important for us as males even, you know, to take time out to make dua for our brothers and sisters in Palestine, our brothers and sisters in Sudan, and in China, different parts of the world. And it's okay to be vulnerable, guys. Literally, to be vulnerable for Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. What you're going to talk about is beautiful names and attributes. But for you to voluntarily be vulnerable, to call out to him with his beautiful name, such as Al-Ghafoor, the all-forgiving, Al-Qawi, the one that is ultimately strong. And to ask for those beautiful names and attributes, for a man to be emotionally vulnerable and to call out to him. And that is a sign of strong masculinity as well, because he knows how to direct his vulnerability in a way that is conducive for him. I just want to take that time out. So take that time out to make dua for your brothers and sisters all around the world. Right now, we have some from Sudan, some from Palestine as well, inshallah. So may Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la place ease in the hearts of our brothers and sisters. I mean, and to increase them in their iman for any trial or tribulation that is faced. I mean, so with that being the case, Sheikh Omar, you have a series on the names and attributes of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. It's going to be coming out. You've talked about it with Al-Maghrib Institute, with Yaqeen. There's shorts, you've written a book on, you know, you have spoken word. And did you incorporate the knowledge of names and attributes and Allah within your spoken word? I haven't done that yet. I am just in awe. That's my thing.
So the Names of Allah series that I'm doing in Ramadan, I've been doing shorts with Yaqeen, but I also have an actual 30-day series with Al-Maghrib, inshallah, that'll be coming up on Al-Maghrib's YouTube channel, inshallah. But I have a, I don't like to write poems unless it comes out. And I've been thinking about writing a poem about Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la for a long time. But I've just been afraid to do it. Afraid? Awe of it. In awe? Yeah. Like it's beautiful, man. I've had a poem about the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, I remember. And it took me a while because every time I would write one, I wrote a letter to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, and I just, I never felt like it was right until the right one came out. And when it came to a poem about Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, it's like, you just want to get it right. And so it just hasn't come yet. Inshallah, one day it'll come. Could we say that that's a way of you being emotionally intelligent through your poems? Because you find a lot of times it's not manly to be emotional. Like emotional is only a word that's used for women and for females. Right? And I was telling a group of brothers earlier today, it's like, no, when you say a woman is emotional, that's what Allah put in her to nurture. But as well, men, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, when Ibrahim died, he said, verily, the eyes shed tears and the heart is saddened. You know, and we are saddened by your departure. He was expressing himself. So do you find yourself able to let those emotions out through the pen? I'm probably less emotional of a person than most. But the way that my emotions manifest is through the wording itself. I do write to the point of getting goosebumps. I do feel like art by its nature creates an emotional connection that, you know, academics may not present, for example. And so through artistry, you do hope to create an emotional connection. But I've never like sat down and like wept, for example, at a poem. But maybe the right poem will. I don't know.
Yeah. And weeping doesn't, if you don't cry, doesn't mean that you're not, you know, emotional or that you're not someone that has a spiritual, intimate connection with the poem itself, what you're writing. Comes out differently. Yeah. Right. Like just because a person doesn't cry doesn't mean they're not emotional. I think men just express their emotions differently. Right. And that's important. That's important. Yeah. Like only, I think by saying women are emotional and men aren't, you're kind of only giving credit to a certain type of emotion and discrediting the man's emotion. Right. And that's happening a lot in society. Even our emotional intelligence, even like, I feel like the definition of emotional intelligence, EQ or whatnot, is kind of limited. Right. To start out, there's aspects of EQ that men have a lot of. Right. Right. Right. But it comes out differently. Right. No, definitely. I don't know if we could. No. And this is why it's important, man. You know, it's important for, you know, men and women, you know, but for men particularly to have a place where they can come together. You know, I was just at a like a retreat. We went out far off in like Oklahoma and we got like a house and it was about like maybe 15 brothers with their younger sons and brothers opened up. It was really important for them to be around each other and just to talk, man. You know, just to walk off in nature and just to talk because you'll find that throughout the monotony of life, you're working, you know, you're busy. You know, one brother is telling me, you know, when I'm at home, I just don't feel appreciated. You know, I'm the provider and protector, but I just don't feel appreciated. But I feel that I'm able to talk to you guys because it's just that energy. And I think that it's needed. You know, like you mentioned, different ways of expressing emotions. They may not even realize it themselves that I was feeling this until I got around a group of guys that feel the same way that I do. I also think that we don't do enough of a job, a good job at least of like actually asking deeper questions about each other.
So for example, I've had a number of my friends now get divorced, a number of them. And every single one of them has mentioned that while getting divorced, they went through incredible darkness and they went through incredible loneliness, incredible. And so I remember I had one friend of mine who got divorced and it was one of those things where he didn't bring it up. I didn't really ask. You know what I mean? Like it was just, he didn't volunteer and I didn't volunteer to promise. No, it's exactly. You got it. So that's how it went. So then I had actually went on a umrah trip, one of our, you know, cheap plug, blessed voyage umrah trips, which I'm actually going on tomorrow. But I had went on one a year ago and one of the sessions the sisters asked, they said, could we sit with you for a session? And I sat and it was really them just opening up about divorces and things like that. And they were supporting each other and I was just listening. But it really made me think like, man, you know, like stuff is difficult. So I remember when I left that session, I sent a message to that friend of mine. And I said to him, listen, bro, I just want to let you know that I know that you, you know, we never really talked about your divorce and I didn't really appreciate how difficult it might've been for you. And I just want to apologize to you for not asking and checking in on you. And so a couple of days later, like he didn't respond right away. And I'm like, oh man, like, you know, I, I, you know, it is a leap, right? So I didn't hear back from him from a couple of days. And then he sent me a voice note back. And he said, listen, I'm a very well-known guy in my city. Very, you know, I like to think I'm very outgoing.
I'm an extrovert. Everybody knows me. And in his city, everybody knows him and everybody loves him. Okay. He said the amount of people who asked me about my divorce were two. And the amount of people who apologized for not being present in my divorce were two. And you're one of them. So that's it. He said, that's, that's everybody who asked me about my divorce. And so for guys, a lot of times we go through the most difficult circumstances and we do it alone. Number one, because we don't volunteer information. And number two, because we don't have a culture of checking in on each other, right? And in a deeper way. Yeah, that volunteering information is vulnerable. You know, being vulnerable and trusting your brother, you know what I'm saying? And that's, that's, that's so, so important. I mean, it's interesting you mentioned that because I'll share something that happened with me. I remember a friend of mine, his father passed away. You know, and I remember saying to myself, well, man, if it was me, I wouldn't want anyone to call me, you know? So I just, I just, I know he probably doesn't want anyone to call him. That was being irresponsible, to be honest, and not taking that leap. Like you said, he didn't text back because he maybe probably got offended. I don't want him in my business. You know, we just maybe don't want people in our business, right? We're kind of, guys are kind of, at least some are very protective of, of that type of, you know, the family life. So we don't ask each other about family. We don't ask about the wife. We don't ask about that stuff. Just to kind of leave it alone. If they don't want to hear it, leave it alone. Exactly. I remember years later with this brother that I didn't call. Years later, we were talking passively. He was like, man, and I remember when my father died, only one person called me. Only one person called me. And he wasn't taking a shot at me. He was just saying it passively. And I was like, yeah, I was from the ones that didn't call. You know what I mean? And I said, for some type of expiation later, I told him, and it was hard, man. It was hard.
I went up to him and I said, brother, man, listen, I'm sorry, man. He was like, for what? You said this about a year ago. You said this a while ago. And I didn't call you. I was going to call you, but I didn't. I apologize for that, bro. And he was like, sorry, man. You know, and I felt like this. I also went to the brother that called him. I said, you know, that brother is so thankful, man, that you called him. You probably didn't even realize that. And you realized you were the only one that called him? He was like, what? I said, yeah, man. Imam Al-Shafi'i has a verse of poetry where he says, He says, a friend that doesn't benefit on a day of difficulty is closer to an enemy when compared. Like if you don't benefit me on my hardest days, the day that I lose my father, the day that I go through, an enemy is not going to be there for me. And if you're not there for me, then you're closer to an enemy than you are to a friend. You're not there. And I think specifically about death. You know, I had a friend of mine, an older brother once who told me, he said something that my father told me is two scenarios where you need to be there for people is weddings and funerals. You need to be there in weddings and funerals. You need to show up. Now, for a lot of people, the funeral apart, they don't know what to say. And they're afraid of saying the wrong thing. If you don't know what to say, number one, people aren't even going to remember what you said most likely, because it's so overwhelming, but they will remember who's there. They will remember that person who was there. I remember when my father passed away, I don't remember what most people said, but I have a very clear memory of who checked in, who sent a text message. I have a very long, because it was such an emotional and intense experience, like everything gets registered. But then number two, which is very important, is if you don't know what to say, just say what the prophet taught you to say. That's it. Exactly. Just say, just say,
just Google things to say. And if all you say is what the prophet taught you to say, that's it. You don't need to say something flowery. You don't need to save this person's pain. You're not going to do that. Just say what the prophet, but just be there. It's a beautiful, beautiful moment, by the way, is what Aisha talks about when she went through the sadness of the slander against her, the issue. And what did she say? She said, there was a woman from the Ansar who came in and she sat down next to me and she just cried with me. So that's all she did. Right. So just that idea of being present with people. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Really, really appreciate that. You know, what happens sometimes men put this macho type of barrier, you know, like, I'm too strong for that. Like, no, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. But deep down, they're not good. They're not good, man. Right. Deep down, they're not good. And I think it takes like so many, so many guys who've been going through hardships and whatnot. Like I would go and I would like take them to the side, talk to them alone. You know, I'm there, man. You can open up, bro. Like what's going on? Like, I know you feel sad. I know there's something. And wallahi, they would open up and cry. Cry like, these are men. Like, they just need to feel like, man, I could, I could actually vent. They're safe. They need to feel safe. Safe. It's safe. And I think that safety is really what, it's more difficult for a man to find than a woman to find. Yeah. Right. You know why? It's because we also have, like, even as you guys are saying safe, safe, safe, like my upbringing is like, man, sounding softer than Charmin right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Come on, man. Yeah. No, what'd I sign? You brought me to the Iman cave so we could talk about being safe, bro. Iman cave, what's being safe? What's going on? In front of three, three, four, five. It's a cave, you know, it's the Iman cave. But that's the, that's the upbringing. That's the, that's, that's that barrier,
right? That you're talking about. No, and that's the, you know, when we talk about rites of passage, right? It's like, what are those things that killing the boy and bringing life to the men, but bringing life to the productive men, particularly in this situation, in the Iman cave, with the Iman, that transitions you from a boy, a Muslim boy, someone that heard about Allah and heard about his names and attributes, to transition to being a man that's intentional with the knowledge of these names and attributes, with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la and his beautiful names, right? If we can just mention some of those beautiful names and how that matters in the life of a man, right? To where when he knows those names or in tries to embody those names, it solidifies his masculinity. So many, so many, so many, you know, like you mentioned, scholars have a beautiful statement. They say, to call it, who be a lack of that, adorn yourselves with the characteristics of God. Now there are, it's very interesting because when I was teaching this course or when I'm teaching this course, you have to mention, like you mentioned at the beginning, that there are some names that are not befitting. They're only for Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. And then there are some names which are the majority of them is that there is a human manifestation. And Ibn Al-Qayyim, he mentions that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la loves for these manifestations. Allah is knowledgeable. He loves the knowledgeable. Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is merciful. He loves the merciful. Allah is strong. He loves the strong believer. Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la even loves the shy. You just go through it. I mean, there's a long list of names that we can go through. It's a beautiful exercise for a person to go through the names of Allah and see how do I manifest this name? How do I show mercy, for example? But as far as masculinity goes, we can literally go through most of these names even with masculinity. But if I could just share maybe one or two, or maybe three. Number one is Al-Karim. Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is the generous. He's the generous. And this is really, really important.
And Sheikh Abdullah, I'm sure you can comment on this as well. That when you're talking about why did the, the name Karam actually doesn't mean generosity. Karam means perfection. So when Allah calls himself Al-Karim, it means that he's calling himself the perfect. When Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la calls Al-Qur'an Karim, a man once came up to me and he said, how is the Qur'an generous? I said, what do you mean? Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la calls the Qur'an Karim. I said, no, the Qur'an means, or Karim means perfect. It's the perfect book. It's the perfect Qur'an. So then how did Karam become meaning generosity when it really means perfection? Why did generosity become the dominant definition of Karam? It is because the Arabs looked and they said, which trait makes a person look perfect? And they said it's generosity. Tasattar bil-sakha'i. Tasattar bil-sakha'i. Imam Al-Shafi'i, he says, Iza kathurat a'yubuka fil-baraya, wasaraka yakuna laha ghita'u, tasattar bil-sakha'i. Fa inna hu yughati kullu a'yibun kama qila al-sakha'u. So he says, if you're, I translate it, by the way, in my book, a lot of Imam Al-Shafi'i's poems. That's why he's throwing me in al-ayub. I don't know what he's doing. He's throwing me in al-ayub. I know, I read his book. He's being Karim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Al-Shafi'i says, if your mistakes are many amongst the folk, and you wish to make for those mistakes a cloak, then conceal them in generosity, as hence every mistake can be covered, as is said, by benevolence. And so generosity conceals. A person will overlook a lot of mistakes from their parents if their parents are generous. A wife will overlook a lot of mistakes from her husband if her husband is generous. Okay, but hold on right there. Go ahead. I'm not gonna play a devil's advocate. You're gonna play an angel's advocate. I'm gonna play an angel's advocate. Husband provides for his family. Okay. But provide, what's wrong?
But you don't spend time with us. I provide, khalas, I'm Karim. Yeah. What do we say for that? If someone says- Then you go to love languages. Uh-huh, which is the five love languages, right? You got five love languages. If my love language is quality time, and you don't give me quality time, I'm not receiving your communication of love. If my love language is acts of service, and you never help me in anything, then I'm not understanding your language of love. So a lot of times, you might be having miscommunication from that. So the generosity doesn't exactly have to be provision of money. It could be generous in time, which is one of the love languages. Generous in words of affirmation to that person, right? So it could be manifested in different ways. Mashallah, you know, we talk about love languages. We talk about love languages with people, creation. Now, what's the language of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la? And how does Allah want to see our love for him manifest? Allah says, Qul in kuntum tahibbuna Allah fattabi'oni yahbibkumu Allah. Exactly. Yeah. Allah says, if you love me, then follow. If you love Allah, then follow me. Follow the Prophet, Allah will love you. But indeed, like how can somebody love someone they don't know? Yeah. You see how like a human, like just the same way a wife wants to see generosity in her husband, her husband wants to see commitment, or wants to see love. That's what we see it, right? So with the names of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, I think that's the only way we can develop this true love for Allah. 100%. The only way. Like there is no ilm that's more sharif, like that's more noble than this ilm. Right. Out of all the sciences, all the ilm, everything that can possibly be spoken of, because the ilm, we look at the ghayat, right? We look at the end goal, the end result. But if Allah is the end result, getting to know Allah, then the fastest way to do that is through knowing his names. Right.
And it's beautiful because as a man, one of the things that your man is, he has to take risks, right? Because if he's going to be someone that's gonna protect and provide, be a leader, he's gonna have to take risks. And through those risks, come a lot of experiences. But I think with the knowledge of those names of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, so for example, if we could transition, maybe I don't know if this is the name he chose, but al-Hakim. We just talked about what's going on in Gaza and Palestine, what's going on in Sudan. If someone doesn't have the knowledge of who al-Hakim is, and hikmah, wisdom, right? Or someone that delegates a particular hakam, right, qata' fi shay, that makes a particular ruling and has decided something, it's important for a man to understand that as well because he'll know how to go through that experience in a healthy way. Or if he made a mistake in that experience, he knows how to look back at it and say, that was the mother of Allah, but how am I going to be particularly better in that particular situation? So when looking at these beautiful names, such as, we talked about Kareem, generosity, so the man being generous by understanding the love language of his wife, of his mother, of his children, which may be different, taking that in consideration and not only looking at how he understands the love language, right, but looking at the love language of his family and being generous and giving himself up in something he may not be used to in that, right? And also when looking at hikmah, wisdom, so one of the names of Allah is al-Hakim. How can a man look at this name of al-Hakim, understand what it means, hikmah, that Allah knows what was, what is in the hypotheticals, how can he apply this element of hikmah in his life and let that embody and exude manhood throughout and benefit his family and those around him? You know, Sheikh, these names of Allah just open up so many beautiful, beautiful avenues. And I want to just, I want to mention some of the names
that have to do with power and strength. Bismillah. And I want to take it in a really, really, really controversial direction, if it's okay. There's a verse that's very, very, very, very well known and it's very controversial. It's so controversial that you can just mention the number 434 and people know what you're talking about. You knew I was going to go there? Yeah, I went there before, it's okay. Okay, okay. But I want to look through the names of Allah that he mentions. Bismillah. So Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, it's the famous verse where Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la describes discord between a husband and wife and what is nushud is a long discussion, what it is. And there's a lot of discussion about what it is. But there is incredible, incredible tension in the family. And Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la says, mentions three things. Number one is idhulhun, is to warn your spouse and tell her, you know, this is completely unacceptable and this and this and this and this. And then the second is wahjiruhunna fil mudhaja, separate your sleeping quarters. Again, the guy goes and sleeps on the couch or he leaves the house, indicating his incredible disapproval now. And then the third one is wadribuhun and that's where all of the controversy lies and strike them. Does the Quran condone domestic violence, right? That's the controversy. But I wanna move away from actually what this is. And I wanna point to what the end of the verse is because everyone always focuses on this and no one ever goes to what the end of the verse is. And what is the end of the verse? Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la ends it with his names. Allah says, fa-in-ata'anakum fala tabu'u alayhina al-sabila inna Allaha kana aliyyan kabira. Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la says that if they obey you, then do not seek power or authority over them, dominance over them. tabu'u alayhina al-sabila inna Allaha kana aliyyan kabira. Verily, Allah is high and kabir. Kabir means great. I.e. do not be deluded, oh husband, by the fact that you are stronger than her or bigger than her. Allah is bigger than you.
And this invokes in a person taqwa. You know, when you're studying domestic violence in the US, for example, it takes on average a woman 18 years to get out of a domestic abusive relationship. 18 years. And that's with all of the campaigns. That's with all of the hotlines. That's with all of the support. So when you think about when the Quran is addressing all of humanity for all time, what is the greatest single mechanism that can protect a person who is vulnerable? And what is the single greatest thing that can stop a person from abusing their power? And that is truly the taqwa of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. That a person realizes that if I am bigger than this person, Allah is bigger than me. And if I'm stronger than this person, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is stronger than me. And so a person who knows that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is truly the Aziz, Allah is truly the Qawi, Allah is truly the strong, Allah is truly the overpowerer, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is truly the large and the great and he is the high, I am going to make sure that I'm not deluded by my power. Allah is more powerful than me. And that keeps a person in check. If you're Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. No doubt about it. And that's why it's so beautiful, man. Because with a man, you think that this strength and this honor is something that is tangible and only of this life. But what's important for the Muslim man in response to all these pills, whether it's red pill, blue pill, alpha, sigma, whatever. It's- That's why I'm wearing red and he's wearing blue, by the way. That's right, he said you're blue pill, man, I don't know. I actually don't even know which one is which. Blue pill is not good. So it's really important that the man lives a life of purpose, but his purpose is, wa ma khalaqatu l-jinna wa l-insi ila liya'u. I have not, Allah says I have not created the jinn and men except that they worship me. That everything that the man does, even though he's strong, he knows that that strength is, la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. There's no power or might except from Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la al-Qawiyy, right? But what's interesting in this verse as well,
even as you mentioned the end of it, the beginning of it, which a lot of men use to abuse. Ar-rijalu qawwamuna al-an-nisa, right? That men are the overpowers of women, as someone translated, or protectors and providers of women, right? But one thing I'd like to mention on this is, before you takun qa'iman, takun rajulan, that you have to be a man, really embody masculinity and manhood. And when you truly embody masculinity and manhood, you know what aliyun kabira is, to where you know your limits. Therefore, you will not oppress or be tyrannical to the one that Allah has given you the authority of protection and provision. It's still an agreement that you have with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. It's a mi fa'qan halila. You know, it's an agreement that you have with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la by, you know, marrying this woman and being honored by marrying her. You know, I'll never forget, and I'll pass it over to you, Murad. I'll remember, I'll always remember this, because when I was a new Muslim in Houston. Shout out to Houston. Shout out to Houston. H-Town till it drowns. It's H-Town till it drowns. Why you say that? You live in Third Lake, see? Because it's good. What you say about Third Lake, y'all? They say H-Town till I drown, but I'm not going down with the ship, brother. I say H-Town till I drown, but I ain't going down. I say H-Town till it drowns, brother. Ta'ala la Dallas. Ta'ala la Dallas. Ta'ala la Dallas. So I remember this brother of mine, I remember my man Isa, he was telling me that his friend was getting married, and that the father-in-law was crying. And I'll never forget that. I was like, man, why is he crying at a wedding? Are you okay? He's giving his daughter. He said, man, the guardianship is being transferred. He's giving his daughter away. And I was like, oh, man, subhanAllah. That's hard, man. That's hard, man, you know? It's tough, subhanAllah. Until I had a daughter, I didn't know what that, what that feeling is. Now, you know. Why are you guys trying to depress me right now? Hey, I got a daughter too, and she's 15. As a man, you know what it took to raise
and to do tarbiyah, and this, that. And then you don't know if this person's really that man with the mawaqif. Because, you know, a man is known in their stances. Talk to me. When you said ar-rijalu, qawamun, you have to be a man to be qawam, to be the maintainer, provider, and whatnot. How does a man know that they're a man? When they demonstrate the self-control and discipline of a man, when the time comes, right? When they can control themselves, when they can speak the right way, when they need to speak that way, when they can stand up when they need to stand up, when they need to sit down, they sit down. When the man knows that they're a man, they don't take advantage of their strength and power, because they don't need these things to validate their manhood. Like, I don't need to oppress their, you know. It's like the guys who practice martial arts. They're the guys who are calmest outside of the gym, because they have that security. But the guy who's insecure, he's sitting there trying to showcase his masculinity on everybody, he's trying to flex on everybody. Definitely, man. That reminds me of a hadith, the one hadith, you know, the Prophet, peace be upon him, he said, laysa ash-shadeedu bis-sura. He debunked the common, you know, third of masculinity, that the harsh one is not the one that can wrestle, right? innama ash-shadeedu ladhee yamliku nafsahu a'in al-ghadha. Really, the harsh one is the one that can control themselves in times of anger, jihad enough. So even when it comes, yeah, the struggle, going through that struggle, going through that pain, and that's a part of masculinity, no doubt about it, because you had to go through that test. And what you may understand, you know, I think Brother Mohamed earlier was like, so many people ask, how much do you bench? And like, that's a sign of masculinity. I mean, it could be a sign of discipline, but does that mean you're a man because you're big? No, it doesn't exactly necessitate that. The one that can control themselves, like you mentioned, he knows when to sit down and be calm and not argue, and he knows when to stand up and hold his position.
Exactly. And that's where like, we start, that's where the names of Allah really start to manifest, like al-Hakim, you mentioned. Like, khalas, to know when to put, because a hikmah is putting something in its right place, or its due place. You know when to do this and when to do that. Like Abu Bakr al-Siddiq radiAllahu anhu was skinny, and he would cry, rajulun asif. You know what I mean? Like he can't even, when he's talking, like you could hear his voice break, and he's about to cry when he talks about very touchy things about Allah and about his, but when the time came for, he would make a decision, right? This skinny, pale, you know, man who would talk and cry. He was a man. He was the definition of what a man is, right? He made, wait, wait, I mean, during the time of the Prophet's, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's death? Yeah. Everyone was breaking down, and he was the only one that kept himself together. Umar ibn al-Khattab. Yeah, even Umar. Yeah. During that time. He told him, sit down. Umar was the shadeed, and look at Abu Bakr during the haroob, during the wars of al-Ridda. When Abu Bakr is like, oh, all these people, no, I think peace. He's like, no, now's the time to be serious, and take it in, all right? So it's putting the things in the right place. Exactly. That's what a man really is, and I think those, the young generation that's growing up right now, like all, what the man is being painted as, right? Or how the man is being portrayed, is really affecting and shaping their perception of themselves, their perceptions of their role in society, their role in a relationship, their role, like, they got it all jumbled up now, right? You know, when a lot of Shabab tell me like, oh, my wife, or my sister is disrespecting me. I'm telling you, no, does she see you worthy of respect? Ooh. You know? I have a story about that. Yeah, bismillah.
I was the man on campus when I was in university. Okay. The man. I graduate, I go from a situation where nobody goes anywhere until I am consulted, and I say, we're going to this restaurant, and then everybody goes to that restaurant. Like, I was the, you know, senior year, I was that guy on campus. Which campus was this? Don't worry about it. You a Chicagoer? Not gonna, it's a Chicago, it's a Chicago. I was the guy. So then when I graduated, I had like that four month, five month lapse between graduation and starting to work. So then I go back home. And I'm living all of a sudden at home. And I go from being the man on campus to being the unemployed dude at home. Okay. And I've got older sisters, and I've got my mom and my dad, and I'm like, I'm giving my opinions. On campus, I was giving my opinions. And those opinions were very, very, very respectful. And then I go home, and I'm telling my sisters, this is what I think, and nobody cares. I'm telling my mom, this is what I think. And especially if I'm talking about halal and haram, because I'm a young, energetic, practicing Muslim. And I'm telling, I'm trying to advise my parents, and I'm trying to advise my sisters and all that stuff. Nobody's paying me any mind. Then I start working. And I start breaking off a little bit of money to my mom, a little bit of money to my dad, a little bit of money to my sisters. I'm just being generous. I realized, oh, my goodness, they're starting to listen to me now. Before that, my opinion was worth nothing. And now with a little bit of support, my advice, same advice, but it was just much more respected. So when you say this idea of being respected, it doesn't come in a vacuum.
It comes when you are, yeah. And when Allah says, men are maintainers and protectors of women, or qawamun, however you want to translate it, because of what Allah gave a preference over one over the other, and due to what they spend of their wealth. It doesn't just come with you sitting in your chair because you have a beer. Exactly. And that's why, in the other verse, and for men, upon them, the females is one level in scholarship, and that level is the level of provision and taking care of them, right? It doesn't mean that they're second class citizens or anything of that nature, but naturally what Allah has given the man is that responsibility of being someone that is ready to protect and provide. And I always tell this to the young girls and to women as well, is like, you realize, and it's an indirect message to the men and to the brothers, it's an indirect message to them that you realize that your husband is willing to die for you. Like, that is what he's there for. He's willing to put his life on the line for you, and there shouldn't be any second thought about that. So that kind of, you know, it paints the picture, because, you know, just in the monotony of life and things, you forget that this man that is my husband, he will take a bullet for me and for our children. That's the man that is Qa'im. You know, that's the one. So when you're looking at these beautiful names and attributes of Allah, how does the man have Izzah within himself to where they will look at him as a man of Izzah? See, these meanings that you're describing, I feel like are completely lost in our time and place now. You know what I mean? The idea of taking a bullet for, I mean. Why though? I agree with you.
I think number one, lack of modeling. I think number two, lack of time being spent with men, by young men. There's no time. Like, for me, I think about, I had so many uncles around me growing up. It wasn't all my dad. It was lots of conversations, lots of time being spent with people older than me, just older brother figures or uncle figures. Like dad's friends? Not my dad's friends. Like my mom's younger brother, for example. You know, there's like a 10, 15 year gap. You know what I'm saying? But if I'm 10, he's 25. I'm learning a lot from him. You're listening to him. Yeah, I'm absolutely listening to him. Of course. So these types of conversations, I remember, for example, just something very, very simple. My sister was older than me. She had a car. I didn't have a car. This was New York. Her having a car is a luxury. Me, I'm riding the bus, right? But I had a license and she had to go and take her car to the mechanic. And so I'm talking to my uncle who's in Sudan, and I already know what the answer is. But I've got, you know, and I say to him, my sister wants to take the car to a mechanic. And he goes to me, Ammar, hey. He goes, that's not acceptable. Meaning it's not acceptable that your sister go to the mechanic shop. You need to take her car to the mechanic shop. And I feel like a lot of times these meanings are lost in this generation where they'll let their sisters or they'll let sisters even in the community go and do these types of difficult things, these types of things that involve, for example, manual labor, involve these types of, they're just not, you know, places where a woman would want to be. And we're letting them do that. We're not really taking, we're not showing masculinity in that sense.
Social media has a, you know, it has a large role to play in that, right? And sometimes I'm, you're looking at the trending videos and whatnot, especially for Muslims. A lot of these young foolish Shabab that go prank people on the streets and they go do silly stuff. Imagine a child growing up with like, oh, I could be older man, the beard and doing this foolish thing, you know, like just going acting silly. Right? I think that's, that's pretty, that's a big deal. It's a big deal. You know, like making sure like that mold that doesn't go inside the head of the child at a young age, because if it does, I think it's detrimental. Like they see that and seeing that as successful too. Wow. Got 20 million followers for acting silly. Yeah. And it's really, I think that puts a dent in their manhood at a young age. Oh, huge man. Because the reason is why, okay, you're spending a time, time doing something that is borderline and if not haram. Exactly. Pranking people, scaring people. And then secondly, it's not just making the video. You have to go home and edit it. Spending like hours editing something that in essence may not even be permissible to do. And then, you know, thirdly, you're, you're doing this to make money off of it, thinking that the goal is the money and it's not being honorable. Dishonoring himself. Dishonoring themselves and you're making money for it, which is another istihwab al shaytan. Shaytan is taking more authority or having some authoritative influence on you by doing this thing, which is not even honorable in essence.
So that, you know, what was the survey? I think kids were asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? And number one was a YouTube, a YouTube star, YouTube phenomenon, right? It's like, okay, fine. But is it doing, is it in doing something that is commendable and honorable? Is it teaching people something that will help them be a better person, a better Muslim, better man, a better woman, to be someone that thinks about God when they do something, if it's just a generic message? So definitely what you're talking about, this social media, it's a beautiful statement. I always remember that statement. It's a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention. Wealth of information, you know, makes you so scattered. There's two things that I want to mention from this, you know, the idea of building, wanting to become a YouTuber. So there's this book called Deep Work by Calvin Newport. Excellent. Yeah. So it's a great book. And he talks about this idea of doing things that require external validation versus doing things that in and of themselves give you validation. So, for example, if I make a YouTube video, no matter how great that YouTube video is, I don't get satisfied until it reaches a certain amount of likes. And that's not under my control at all. Right. I'm praying at the altar of algorithms. Basically, I'm hoping that's a bar. I just want to know. I know. I know. OK. Yeah, that was a bar. I'm just, you know, it's not. But the person who learned how to make this, right, they are satisfied because they see that it was done well. A person who puts together a car, the proof that it works is that the car starts. A person who puts together a light bulb, the proof of the light bulb is that light bulb turns on. So that's internal validation that a person receives by doing or learning a craft as opposed to what people are becoming dependent on, which is these types of external validations, which is very, very difficult. It's very hard to keep up with.
You know, I'm going to even add on to that. The person that made this and this is what makes so important to have a spiritual connection with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Therefore, a man or a woman, and particularly in this case, when a man wants to make something, for example, he made this and he found satisfaction. He found meaning. There's a book by Viktor Frankl called The Man's Search for Meaning. Right. He found meaning. And I was finding this. OK, I see what he's saying. But where's the connection of spirituality with this? Then it hit me. OK, he finds meaning in making this. He finds the meaning of life or the meaning in life by making this. But where's the connection with making this and with Allah? So he finds a validation in it. OK, I'm satisfied. But when he thinks about the one that gave me the faculties to do this, this is a way that I do shukr because I'm making this and I'm serving humanity by it. So he has meaning in life by finding fulfillment of something he likes to do. But then there's which coincides with the meaning of life. Like my meaning of life is worshipping Allah. How? By doing this thing that I like doing. And why do I like it? It's just what Allah has given me. It's the faculty that Allah has given me. Well, it is. It's a part of the istikhlaf. It's the istikhlaf. That Allah made us the khalifa on earth and contributing towards that khilafah that Allah made us responsible for. Is it like the bigger a contribution, the more you feel like you are grounded in this khilafah. And if you sell them, then this is what you made with your own hands. And the best risk that a person has is that which they receive with their own hands. That which they earn with their own hands. That's it. There's a lot of beauty. The second thing that I was going to mention was you mentioned the number of times the word honorable. So I think it's beautiful that we talk about the source of honor, which is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala al-aziz. Beautiful man. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is al-aziz.
So when a man is seeking honor and loves honor, you have to realize that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is the source of honor. There you go. We live in a time and place right now where people are seeking honor through everything. You have people seeking honor through different systems. You have people seeking honor through being in the company of different people. I'll be honest with this. Sometimes I'll go and I'll visit, for example, Muslim students, right? And I'll, you know, thinking to myself, like, honestly, if it wasn't for Islam, I would definitely not be in this group. I wouldn't be. Let me be honest, right? Because I remember, you know, sometimes people telling me, like, I didn't go to MSA because those kids were not cool. Okay. So there's a verse in Surah Al-Kahf that we read. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, you read every week, if you're reading Surah Al-Kahf every week, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, Allah says, Asbir means to have patience, to persevere, to endure. Sometimes the Muslim community is not the most exciting community. Or sometimes the masjid that you're in isn't the most welcoming group of people. But guess what? Allah tells you, have sabr. You know, there's a beautiful statement by Imam Al-Harawi in his Manazil As-Sa'iri. It's beautiful. Ibn Qayyim explains it in Madaj As-Sa'iri. It's amazing when he talks about humility. Because this could be arrogance. I'm too good for the Muslim community. Imam Al-Harawi says, and this is a bar. He says, the second level of humility is to accept as brothers whom Allah accepted as servants of his. Allah accepted these people to be his servants. You won't accept them to be your brothers? Is that a bar? Yeah, it's a bar. Who are you? Who are you? How could you not accept them to be your brothers when Allah accepted these people? Whoever they are, Allah accepted them to be his servants out of everybody.
So Allah says, endure the company of those who call upon Allah in the morning and the evening. And do not let your eyes go beyond them. Maybe you are cool enough where you can go into different cliques. Maybe you are cool enough where you can hang out with these people and that. What do you want? You want the adornment of this world. Cool. Yeah, that's a different clique. That's more clout. That's more. Go and get it. But endure the company of those who believe. Be in there. Allah is the source of honor. Those people are not the source of honor. That crew is not the source of honor. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is the source of honor. And Islam, Allah made, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says, Allah is the source of honor. Islam becomes that source of honor. When a person understands that, then they can be like Usama Ibn Zaid. Hakim Ibn Hizam, he says that he went into the marketplace and he found this beautiful cloak being sold. And it was owned by Dhu Yazan, the king of Yemen. One of the kings of Yemen. So this is a royal cloak. He buys it and he gifts it to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam wore it on the minbar and it was perfect. Beautiful cloak on Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. It was deserving. Hakim, you can tell, is like happy. Then the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam descends from the minbar and he gives it as a gift to Usama. Because the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was completely detached from the dunya. Beautiful cloak, thank you very much. Then he gives it to Usama Ibn Zaid. Now, instead of it being worn by the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, this cloak of a king is being worn by the son of a former slave. And Hakim, to his surprise, sees Usama walking with it in the marketplace. And so he goes and he approaches him. And what does Usama say? When he's getting checked, like how are you wearing the cloak of a king?
Usama says, and he's like maybe 15 or 16 years old at the time, maybe 17. He says, I'm better than him. And my father is better than his father. And my mother is better than his mother. Why? Because they're Muslim. Because they have Iman. Iman. I have Izzah. This Iman, I don't care if I don't have the resources he has or the money that he has or the royal. It doesn't matter. I'm better than him. My dad is better than him. My mom is better than him. Because I have Islam. So that's Izzah that's sourced from Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. It's sourced from Allah, his messenger, this deen that we have. And if a person has that, then they can walk into any crowd because they have Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. No, and that's beautiful. We start with Iman and we end with Iman because that's what makes the man. Alhamdulillah, you know what I mean? And I think it's important for all of us as men, young men, older men, to always have that connection with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la because with that connection, that is the foundation and everything is couched within that. As we've talked about some of these beautiful names, honorable, knowledge, all of these beautiful names, wisdom that we've talked about, it's important for you as a man to know that your masculinity, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la has given it to you as a male, but making the choice to be a man is what is important for you. May Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la bless all of you. May Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la bless you. Sheikh Murad, Mashallah. My brother. Coming back here. Sheikh Ammar, thanks for coming down. Alhamdulillah. My pleasure. Mashallah, with your wisdom and your presence, mashallah. May Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la bless all of you and make you the men, the best men that He's created to be on this earth. Jazakum Allah Khair. Wassalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. Al-Fatiha.
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