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Confidence through Combat Sports | Iman Cave
Can aggression be good? How can we control our aggression as the Prophet (s) advised and use it to our advantage? Coach Barat Jan joins Sh. Abdullah Oduro and cohost Ust. Morad Awad to discuss how fighting, specifically in the form of combat sports can build confidence, discipline, and focus among men.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. The moment the boy gets physical, or wants to exert himself in a physical way, or bring out this physicality that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, kind of like gave him as a boy, right? Qawwamun, right? Or bima fadhalallahu ba'dahum ala ba'd. Like Allah preferred the men over the women with their physicality, right? If that's shot down, I think it breaks something in the man. Yeah, so that carried over when you came to the States, and then you almost kicked the guy's lip off. I remember that first when I got my black belt, my teacher looked at me, he's like, congratulations, you earned a piece of cloth. I'm looking at him like, what did you just say, a piece of cloth? How many years? Black belt is just a color. You have to be afraid how that person earned that black belt. Dedication, focus, not giving up. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, and the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you all. I'm Abdullah Oduro, and welcome to the Iman Cave, where we discuss issues of male excellence while being grounded in faith. Character, aggression, are they polar opposites? Is it okay for a young man or even an older grown man to be aggressive? Is it something that is toxic? We hear this all the time, masculinity being toxic, and, you know, sitting in a classroom for 45 minutes to where that, if the young man is in the classroom for 45 minutes and he's moving around and he's restless, that there must be a problem with him. There must be some attention deficit. He may need to take medication. Is that the reality? How do we as Muslims view aggression, and how does that play into one's character? Look no further, alhamdulillah, we're here today with my man Murad Awad, entrepreneur. Y'all know him by now, and alhamdulillah, we have an esteemed guest, an esteemed guest, mashaAllah, Coach Burat.
MashaAllah, may Allah bless you, with Eagle Martial Arts here, and he's actually the coach for Murad, and hopefully, inshaAllah, soon, the coach of my children, inshaAllah, for martial arts, may Allah bless him, mashaAllah. So when we're talking about this issue of aggression, and we call him coach because, mashaAllah, he's been doing martial arts for over how many years? 37 years. 37, 37 years, martial arts, I mean, that ranges from karate, MMA, what exactly? So pretty much from Muay Thai, Taekwondo, Jiu-Jitsu, and kickboxing. Wow, wow, mashaAllah, subhanAllah, so mashaAllah, he's been around the block, he's been around the dojo. Since I've been around this world. Since he's been around this world, mashaAllah, subhanAllah. So coach, where exactly were you born, and where were you raised? Actually, I was born in Kabul, Afghanistan, moved to the U.S. about 39 years ago, and lived most of my life in New Jersey, and moved to Texas about a year ago. New Jersey, stand up, we got another New Jersey in here. Bringing my Jersey people. Oh man, they're gonna take over, man, oh no, subhanAllah, you had Ammar here last time, what are y'all trying to do? He's talking about me, about exhibiting all this stuff, so, okay, so Afghanistan, how long were you in Afghanistan? I was very young, probably like nine years old. How was it growing up in Afghanistan as a, you know, let's say from the age of five to nine, at the time, were you able to go around, play around, fight, and you know? Well, Afghanistan is a very unique country, I mean, a lot of kids, you know, fight, bullying each other, you know. In Afghanistan, everybody fight with each other, literally like, you know, they have a dog fight, cat fight, bird fight, you know, you name it, there's a fight. There's two of the same thing, they have to fight, which one dominates?
It's territory, man, it's our territory, we have to make our territory, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. So, which part, because, you know, Afghanistan, I'm thinking, you know, this is very ignorant, mountains, growing up in the mountains, was that the case? No, Afghanistan actually is a beautiful, beautiful country. Yes, every country has mountains, every country has a desert, but Afghanistan has a beautiful open land, a lot of farmers, a lot of rivers, nice, beautiful rivers. Masha'Allah, masha'Allah, very good. Yeah, of course, beautiful mountains, but it's not all mountains, like a lot of people are like, oh, Afghanistan is all about mountains. Yeah, that's part of my ignorance, man, yeah. No, it's important to ask. So, would you even say that there was, and we're going to talk about this later, even at five, was there any, six, seven, or eight years old, did you encounter any bullying amongst the young boys there in Afghanistan? You know, a bully is actually, there was not such a word, bullying, you know, when I found out, like, there's such a word called bullying, yes. But yes, kids are making fun of each other, you have to be the strongest to survive, you know, in Afghanistan right now, as a matter of fact, you know, when I grew up, every child was going through that, if you're the weakest, you're down. You need to be strong, you need to be, you know, and that's what, you know, we took martial arts to defend ourselves, and boxing, MMA, just to make sure that, you know, we don't get bullied by other kids. Right, right, subhanAllah, subhanAllah. You know, it's interesting you mention that, it reminds me of, what was it, Ibn Mas'ud. Oh, when he flew away. Yes, no, the companions, he was climbing the Arak tree, a tree, and he was climbing the tree, trying to retrieve something, and then the wind blew his garment, and his legs showed, like his shins showed, and the companions were making fun of the, they said, Like his legs were very brittle, skinny. So the Prophet, peace be upon him, said,
But what's beautiful about this, like you mentioned, and I think it's important, you know, when talking about masculinity, is that, look, guys are going to make fun of each other, we clown each other, we talk about each other, laugh at each other, that's just a part of who we are, right? And some of them will test how thick your skin is, to see if you can handle it. I mean, that's even, you know, when speaking about each other, even physically, that's just part of our nature as young men. Exactly. You know what I mean? And I think that's important for mothers to embrace and to understand that, although there's levels, there's boundaries to that, but the fact that it takes place is something that is, dare I say, fitri, natural. It's interesting how, like, the cultures vary so much with regards to this. Interesting, yeah. Like in Afghanistan, you're saying people just grow up, and subhanAllah, it's survival of the fittest, even in Japan. In Japan, so apparently, they just let their kids fight it out. So a father or a mother could be sitting in the park, in a playground, and their kid is getting their face busted, and they can't get involved. That's their culture. I don't know if you heard about that. Yes. You heard about it? Wow. And the culture is that they have to learn how to hold their own by themselves, which is why they developed martial arts. Whereas here, I don't know, I feel like some parents, I don't know how they came to this conclusion where the moment the boy gets physical, or wants to exert himself in a physical way, or bring out this physicality that Allah, subhanAllah, kind of gave him as a boy. Right? Qawamun, right? Or bima fadhalallahu ba'dahum ala ba'd. Like Allah preferred the men over the women with their physicality, right? So the moment they show it, if that's shot down, I think it breaks something in the man. Definitely, without a doubt.
Like in the boy, and it ultimately translates when they become men. I don't know. No, definitely. That's so accurate. I mean, so you mentioned coming from, what is it, eight years old, nine years old, from Kabul to New York. Yes. Talk to us about that. When the war happened, actually, we all migrated to Pakistan. Okay. And we stayed for a couple years in Pakistan. And then we came to US. When we left Afghanistan, because we have political asylum, you know, we are political refugees. Coming to America, it was a totally different land. It's a different place. It's a different place. I'm like, man, this is like, wow, what is it? New York is a different land. You can send a text to New York. It was just like a dream. I'm like, what is this? The building that we saw in the movies, now I can see in reality. Wow. Okay. Not that we liked it, to be honest with you. We didn't like it in the beginning. We wanted to go back. We wanted to go back. Yes. I can imagine your first day in the playground. You know, you're coming from Kabul. You're in New Jersey. New Jersey. Do you recall any moment you're in the playground with the kids and then when somebody pushes you or somebody says something and, you know, I don't understand what you're saying, they don't know. You understand? What was your first encounter? Do you remember that? Oh, absolutely. It's like yesterday. Wow. So we came from Afghanistan with not the name brand shoes or name brand clothes. So we used to wear something really cheap, you know, a fake Nike, you know, and every kid was like, this is a fake Nike, what you have. I'm like, I didn't know what you were saying. Especially football players, especially like, you know, they are like pretty muscular, you know. I used to get pushed a lot and for no reason. He used to call me like, you know, Cambodians and this. I'm like, no, I'm not even Cambodian. I'm from Afghanistan. So I came home like really upset. I'm like, man, this is ridiculous. And I got to do something about those kids. So I'm like, you know what? In locker room, I remember, I'm like, you know, I told this guy, I'm like, listen, put something in your mouth.
Like put a little paper. I'm like, hold it there. Don't move. So I'm like, don't move. Then a spinning kick hit just the paper. Suddenly the guy goes like, what was that? You did the kick? Yeah, I did the kick. So hold on, you learned martial arts before that? Yeah, I was from a young age. Yes, from a young age, I did the martial arts. Yes, yes. He breathes martial arts. He breathes martial arts. It's like natural. So literally the guy goes like, you know what? Let's be friends. That's how it works. You see that? He proved himself. The lightest hovers. The lightest hovers. They were my best friend up until now. Wow. They're the worst bully. They became my best friend. Wow. Just they saw some skill. And that probably affected your self-esteem growing up. Big time. Right? That. Yes. Just knowing that you have that. Imagine without that. And I'm sure you've seen people that grew up without it. And that's probably what inspires you to change kids' lives today and what you're doing today. By the way, Coach Barat, I don't know if you know that his whole family trains. From him, his wife, his children, all three of them. They all train a whole team. Masha'Allah. Yeah, he told me about that. They're like a powerhouse family. Masha'Allah. Eagle Martial Arts. It's based in Murphy, Texas. You ever come to Murphy? Check it out. Check it out. So Coach Barat, who taught you martial arts when you were younger in Kabul? Actually, back when the Russian was in Afghanistan, Korean was the country that used to come down to do volunteer work. Especially Korean master coaches. They used to come down to Afghanistan to teach kids. Teach kids to make sure that they are on the right path. Make sure they stay away from the drugs. Make sure they stay away from all those negative activities. So Korean was bringing their coaches and teachers to teach our Afghan generation Taekwondo. Yes, besides promoting their martial arts in Afghanistan, but they were teaching the youth how to be disciplined.
So they opened dojos around the area? They were actually not a dojo. They used to come down in a park. Anywhere that they have a space, we used to train there. So that's the only way that a lot of kids were staying away from those negative activities. It's martial arts. Because it teaches them discipline, respect, focus, yes ma'am, yes sir. It's all through martial arts. We never called our elders yes ma'am, yes sir. When the word came in, it's like, listen, this is how you're supposed to stand in front of the adult. Make sure eye contact. Make sure you have a good body posture. Make sure you have good self-control. It's all being taught through martial arts. Masha'Allah, masha'Allah. So that carried over when you came to the States. The States, yes. And then you almost kicked the guy's lip off. Yes. And they realized, oh, oh, okay. Respect. What is this? Okay, I know what we're dealing with now. It's so funny. I was like one of the most famous guys in the school. Everybody wants to be my friend. Hey, I want to be your friend. And show me some cool moves. Show me some cool moves. Now guys in the locker room, in the cafeteria, I'm being surrounded by those guys. Everybody's like, man, this is cool. Wow. It's cool. It was the thing. Yes. It's the thing. SubhanAllah. And I notice it. I notice it in the children that are disciplined in martial arts. I notice, because I did programs for epic youth. Alhamdulillah, Coach Barat, the gym, Eagle Martial Arts, is right next to the epic community. MashaAllah. So the children that attended his martial arts class would stand out amongst the rest of the youth. The moment I would tell the kids, alright guys, everybody stand up. All the kids that trained in martial arts would just stand up.
All the other kids would just be talking, chit-chatting. But the other ones are triggered. Words actually make a difference for them. They're not used to just listening and ignoring. And then the second thing is they always look me in the eye when I'm talking to them. I'm like, hey. They're just staring at me. I'm like, where did they learn this eye contact from? Obviously martial arts. That's beautiful. There's one saying that I always say to myself and my kids know. Is that you learn your reality through physicality. Where do you see, because you've seen the kids that have been through his martial arts. I don't even want to say class. I want to say martial arts transformation. Transformation. It is, yeah. Is the physicality the means to, how do I say, arrive at refining the character? Have you seen that? Is that like a portion of it? So when the kids come in, because I remember you mentioned you have a class for the kids and it's really character development. Yes. Can you explain that to us? Is there a physical element there and what is the structure with that? So when the kid comes into our facility, usually we do evaluate them. Find out exactly what the issues are. We all know that about 80 to 90% is focus, discipline, and confidence. Those are the three main things. Confidence is number one thing. Focus, discipline, and confidence. Yes. Especially teenagers. You talk to them, they can't even look at your eyes. They look down. Man, listen. Bring your chin up. Shoulder back, eyes straight ahead, man. Learn the three laws of walking. Okay? And nobody told them that. Nobody told them. Even the parents. Parents will look at me like, oh, we never taught our children to look up. Yes, we do have some parents. But the majority of them, they're so focused on their daily life. But they never sit down with the kid, like, listen, son, look up. Coach Peraza, hold on. You gave us a lot there. I want to dissect it if you don't mind. Okay.
So the first thing you mentioned, you said focus, discipline, and confidence. Confidence. Focus, discipline, and confidence. It seems like it's in that order. It seems like it's in that, because they have to have focus to continue and to keep on, they need discipline. Discipline. And as a result of that or through that, the confidence. Confidence kicks in. Absolutely. Okay. We always say that in the class. We are the best. Hard work pays off. We never give up. We're going to make sure adrenaline in their head. And three laws of focusing, eyes, mind, and body. Eyes mean look at the person you're talking to. Mind means have a good focus. And body means self-control. When somebody talks to you, you know how to sit down, you know how to stand up. Because nowadays, teenagers, you talk to them, they're like all over. All over the place. Eyes all over. I feel back in the day, like when people lived in like remote towns or in like Bedouin villages. However people lived back in the day, the culture, the father, the grandfather, the uncles, they would just teach them these things. And nowadays, nobody's teaching them any of this stuff. Yeah. And subhanAllah, you know, you know how we teach our children to harness these abilities as they manifest on them. Like a child learns how to chew, we start feeding them. They learn how to pick up their weight, we teach them how to crawl. They learn how to push up their bodies and balance, we teach them how to walk. And they keep growing. They learn how to memorize words. They learn how to speak and pick up their tongue. Okay, so we're building on these things that are developing. The aggressiveness is something that grows into a boy. They learn how to become physical. Right. How we channel that. Beautiful. What are we doing with that? That's beautiful. Is it just a stop right there? No. Don't be aggressive. There's no way to channel this. This is bad. No, it's actually natural. Right.
Yeah. It's actually natural, you know, and he has to learn how to use it. It's part of his identity. Right, right. And it's creating those means that appropriate that aggression. That aggression is there. And that's why I love the Hadith, the Hadith of Laysa Shadidu Bisra. You know, the Prophet said that the harsh one is not the one that can wrestle, but it's the one that can control themselves in times of anger. He acknowledges the anger. He doesn't say the anger is wrong, but they know how to steer it and control it. So having something like with your martial arts, initially when they come in, you teach them even before the movement. Yes. It's this aspect of life and the aspect of being an upright individual. And particularly when we're talking about the man of the aggression because of the testosterone secretion, maybe a little more that they need to know how to look someone dead in the eye and talk to them correctly, stand up straight. And then also with that, subhanAllah. I think I like the fact that you mentioned focus because the whole world is filled with distractions now. And you said they're looking all over the place. When you talk to them, they're going to be down on their phone, you know, and then when you, you know, then they look up to even answer you, answer your question, if they even look up. Yeah. But telling them you have to be intentional with focus itself is beautiful. Because does that carry over even in the actual martial arts itself? Absolutely. I mean, going back to the focus and the discipline, respect part of the martial arts. I mean, of course, as parents, we don't have this manual to study that this is how we need to be parents. But let's, you know, let's uplift our kids. The problem is you're standing in front of five, six years old and talking to your coach like my kid has no confidence. My kid is very shy. My kid is really lazy. You're saying that in front of the kid and the kid goes,
I'm like, as a parent, at least have a little education. You can just talk to your kid like that. You can just say that to the side. You can just come down to the, I always teach their parents. I'm like, listen, if you want to talk to your kids, make sure uplift them. He's my confidence kid. He's my discipline kid. I call it a good finder. A lot of parents, they don't spend time with them and always put them down. He's very disciplined. Coach, he's very undisciplined. He got kicked out of football. What happened? He got kicked out of soccer. What happened? He just threw the jersey on the floor. I'm like, maybe he wants to be a perfectionist. Maybe he wants to be a perfectionist. Do you know why did he throw it? Instead of timeout? Instead of like, oh, he's a bad kid? Let's find out. How do we take this kid to be a perfectionist? How to make him the best athlete? Mashallah, mashallah. There's a connection to it, but you mentioned something earlier, and I want to touch on it. It's going to put you a little on the hot seat on the spot. So you're originally from Afghanistan. Yes. And your in-laws are from Uzbekistan. Uzbekistan, yes. And you were telling me about how your in-laws at the time, who were not your in-laws at that time, it was known that you could not marry from outside of the Uzbeki, I guess your tribe or culture, for lack of a better word. Culture, yes. But you were the first one to marry into them. You have to let me know how that took place. It's a long story, but how does it relate to martial arts? How does it relate to confidence? So yes, actually, they're a huge family in Germany. So I was the only person that went out of my way to, you know, to marry one of theirs. Wait, wait, wait. Germany? New York to Germany? She came as a tourist. She came to the U.S. and we met at one of my friend's wedding.
So I'm like, you know what? I'll marry her. She's like, no, no, no. You cannot marry that. They're the kingdom family. They are their own tribes. I'm like, you know what? My teacher always says that the goal you set is the goal you get. Allahu Akbar. Then you set the goal. Determination. Yes. Determination. That's what the man said. Yes. So she went to Germany. We find out that their relatives in the U.S. also, we found the address. We flew to Germany. Literally flew by myself. Wow. Yes. My man. My coach. So I'm like, you know what? We found out the house. We went there. Knocked the door. Like literally, that's exactly. Knocked the door. I really want to marry your daughter. They're like, listen, zero chance. We cannot let you marry our daughter. It's impossible. So we had a two day ticket. The next day, we're supposed to come back. So finally, what happened? So in a field, in a soccer field, I see this big noise is happening. Kids are like fighting, you know, like playing soccer. One of the kids broke his hand. So I ran. I'm like, the kid like literally like his bones sticking out of his skin, like really bad. So everybody's like staying away. So I picked this kid up. I'm grabbing the kids. I'm holding his hand, you know, put a little towel. I'm like, let's go to call the ambulance. I took the kid into Germany. Again, they didn't speak a word of German. Sitting down with this kid that I don't know who the kid is going to the hospital. They went to the hospital. Next time, see, I have a big, huge family walks in here like my son is here in the hospital. I was like, yeah. I said, who brought him? He's like, this guy. So guess what? That was my wife's family. Oh, did you know that? No, no. I didn't know that. That's amazing. That is amazing. But what I want, I mean, but, but, but, okay. So what are the benefits that we can derive from this in regards to masculine excellence? Yeah. I mean, the first thing is that, you
know, the, how do you do the process? So when he talks about the intention, the intentions for hijra to a man, the person has his intention to marry her for this is his hijra is for that is his migration was for that intention. Okay. So you intended to marry this sister. You, I don't even want to capitalize on that. There's a number of men that I've met. When I asked him how they got married, they said, yes. When I saw this sister, I said, I'm going to marry her. I've heard this from more than one people. I respect that. Just see someone and say, it's the one. Yes, bro. I'm telling you. They say, oh yes, she's, I'm going to marry her. They won't take no for an answer. It's like, it's, it's a certain connection that they have with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la because they say, I'm going to marry her and I'm going to obviously do it the right way. And I'm going to, I'm going to, she's the one for me. I'm not going to say it's love at first sight, but it's something that you say, wow, the way I've seen her character, the way this, I want her to be the mother of my children. I want her to be my companion. So that's the first thing. And there's a level of confidence internally to even say that to yourself. And that's why I think it's beautiful that these words of affirmation that you have couched within the belief in Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, and then you have that, this is going to happen. Right. Then flying from New Jersey to Germany to just knock on the door. Yeah. And what was going through your mind, your mind, body and soul? I'm like, you know what? First of all, we said the goal we set is the goal we get. So I'm like, listen, if it doesn't happen, it does not happen. But I'll try my best. Okay. I'll try my best. So, but I'll never give up. I'll never give up. The confidence that I was sitting in front of all these uncles, there's about 30 of them plus, like all of them, like six foot tall, sitting down like that, ask me some serious
questions and want to make sure that I answer each one of them. And one of them asked me is like, how do I guarantee that you're going to marry her or keep her happy for the rest of your life? I'm like, because I do have my sister also. I don't want my sister to be mistreated also. So I'll treat, if somebody treat my sister, I will treat somebody else's daughter also like that. Coach, I love this. No, I really love it. You know why I love this? Because right now I was telling you earlier, you have a lot of these apps where a lot of the youth are going to get married. I'm not going to say that they're haram. Everybody has his purpose, right? But I tell them initially, if there's a sister you're interested in marrying, go straight to her father, deal with the fear, deal with the risk, the rejection. I mean, you mentioned, it's no until it's yes. And you're feeling the no right there. But like you said, you're going to keep going because you're the right intention. You want to do the right thing. And that's important for men. If they want to do the right thing, you go only and you just continue on. And if you want to marry a sister, you go to her father and you be yourself. You have no fear because you're offering something to the table. As a matter of fact, I tell the sisters, you're offering your life. You're my wife and I'm willing to die for you. So you're coming to the table with that energy. And that's beautiful. And I think that determination is something that if you notice every animal in the animal kingdom has to prove how much the male has to prove how much they're willing to go through for the female. You know, something just off the books, like they fight, they do whatever, they build a nest or whatever it is, you know. Somebody that just asks a girl or sends an email or gets a bad look from her father, brother and whatnot, and they just like, oh yeah, I didn't feel right. Dude, what are you talking about? Where's your determination? By the way, there's something Coach didn't mention. His wife is from a royal lineage too. That's why they're even closer. Their
great grandparents were the rulers of that region in Bukhara and Pakistan and whatnot. Wow. So when you actually helped this child and you were at the hospital, when did you find out that it was from the family, the royal family? Actually, I found out literally like that moment, like literally I saw them and like, oh, because some of the faces are familiar to me. I'm like, okay, they're here. Hopefully everything is okay. The guy there, they are a kid. Exactly. Wow. How did it continue from there? So you can say so. That's exactly, you know what? Really? Yeah. Do you mind if you can extend your flight for a couple more days? They asked you that? Yes. And you're already doing it? I'm like, yeah. Wow. That's amazing. Yes. Coach, well, that's, you know, this is inspiring to a lot of men because, you know, many, many of them won't know how to approach it at all. Right? Give up at the first, it's not, I think it's unmanly to give up on the first try. Okay. Let's elaborate on it. It's not really manly to give up on the first, on the first try. You got to show that you, you're like, no, I chose you and I don't just choose nobody. That's what I teach our kids, our new generation. You know, set your goal and achieve your goal. The problem we have with the youth now, right now, they jump from one thing to the other thing. They're not consistent in one thing. Master one technique, learning it instead of learning a thousand technique that you just didn't master it. So just focus on one thing and be good on that thing. And martial arts, honestly, is one of the best sports for confidence, self-defense, and you can look at yourself in a mirror that, you know, nobody can believe me. You look at yourself in a mirror, like Sheikh Mourad says, you know, you can defend yourself.
It's like your survival of the jungle. Out there is a jungle. Yeah. We know that. So if we can defend ourselves, if we can walk with the confidence, if physically we are fit, that confidence builds up. Mashallah. So when you were in Jersey, what did you, what inspired you to, as the man of the household, right, to go out and say, you know what? I want to provide for my family through teaching what I'm competent in. Because it's very important for a man to be competent, to have knowledge of something. And that knowledge and skill that he has is what he's used to provide, whether it's for his family, whether it's taking an axe and chopping a tree, which seems very easy, but it's very, very difficult and deadly, or hunting. You're using that skill with your own hands. Yes. And you're opening a martial arts facility. You just do the work. And that's what's so, that's what's important, too. For, you know, a young man, you're talking about focus, discipline. Yes. Right. The focus, focus, focus on one thing and try to eliminate those distractions. And I think physical fitness, physical, you know, particularly martial arts and combat sports. It's so, it translates over to defending yourself and defending your honor and your family, etc. You see the results of it, which is beautiful. So when you started this, so you went and started a dojo after that, or a martial arts facility. We had a small, very small, about probably like 500 square feet. And from 500 square feet, we went to 3,000 square feet. From 3,000 square feet, we went to like 16,000 square feet. SubhanAllah. Yeah. And from 16,000 square feet, a building we and we, we bought the building. And so we were in a small town of 15, 10, 15,000 population. So we are one of the biggest school in the state of New Jersey and top 17 in the U.S. From that, we got involved with elementary schools. We got involved with middle schools.
We get involved with the police department. The police department used to come down and train with us. So any of their SWAT members, tried to be in a SWAT team, used to train with us first. Let me ask you about this then. Was it your family, because you mentioned that everyone's a black belt under the roof of your home. Yes. Was it that you sat down and you said, you know, everyone in this house is going to become a black belt? Or was it that they saw you doing it and they said, we want to be like? I started with my wife from like, you know what? I had an experience in the past from my friends that their husband or wife has two different careers. Yes. Whether we grow like this, whether we grow like this. So when we grow like this, we always separate from each other. But we grow like this, we will help each other. So I always want to be like, I'll grow together. So I don't want her to tell me, why are you coming late? Where are you? What are you doing? So if she's in martial arts, she's training with me, we know we are together. We know, you know, if I stay in martial arts, she would not call me what I am right now. The first thing when I ask her, I'm like, there's two things in life that will save your life. In life, two things, swimming and martial arts. They both save life. So I'm like, I know you know swimming, but you need to learn martial arts. Okay, because you never know. You know, if you ever get attacked, at least you defend yourself. So she started with a self-defense, slowly, slowly, slowly. So she started training and she got a black belt from under me. And now, Mashallah, she loves it. She loves every moment of it. She's like, man, this is the best thing that ever happened. And then the kids, how did that happen? The kids, you know, my kids started as young as two years old. I have a video. They were crawling, like, I put them in the uniform. I'm like, you know what? This is the only sport that saved my life. This is the only sport that gives me a lot of confidence. I want to make sure that I will teach my kids how to be combat sports. Whether it's Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, anything. I want to make sure that they learn any kind of combat sport. Mashallah.
Coming from the school, they had lunch, sitting on the mat, eating lunch. 13 years old, one of my daughters was 13 years old back then. She was a bully prevention seminar expert in her age. She was 13 years old, teaching high school. She was going to high school. She was going to libraries, talking about bullying. 13 years old. Her confidence level, the way she talks, the way she represents herself. Nobody thought she was 13 years old. That's what it does. Yes. The reinforcement. The reinforcement is just so, and what I noticed is in the dojo, because I work out at Eagle myself, and when I go and train, I notice the vibe in there is just, it's different from other gyms. Because we're all Muslim, for the most part. There's a lot of this positive reinforcement. Go, go, do it. You can do more. I remember even my son couldn't do 10 push-ups at home. Then I remember bringing him to Coach, I'm like, yeah, he can't do more than 10 push-ups. I know for a fact with his skinny arms. He did it. He's like, Bob, I can't. He's doing it. Well, Coach is like, no, let's do it together. They were actually head-to-head doing it together. Together. Mashallah. A lot more. I was like, dude, no way you just did it. 30 push-ups. Yes, 30 push-ups. You remember that. I'm like, how do you do it? I remember Coach told me something. He's like, this is what I do for a living. This is my living. This is what I do. It's that ambition that our young men need nowadays. Ambition, ambition, ambition. But focusing on something they like, and then having that ambition and just sticking with it, which is the discipline to reach that point. Subhanallah. One advice as well, Sheikh, for the parents before you let them go. Make sure you help create that thing for your child that makes them confident. Okay. You know, like how it was martial arts, self-defense.
It could be other stuff, basketball, football. But you be like the parent has to identify and enhance that because that's part of their character building. And that's beautiful that you mentioned that because the character building can be through many different mechanisms, right? It's because ambition is ambition, failure is failure, whichever realm it may be. But particularly I have a love for some physical activity, and that particularly in combat sports because particularly for the man, for the male, it's going to be, he's going to be looked at as the overarching protector of the household. It doesn't mean that, you know, the daughters cannot, I hope my daughters in boxing, she's going to join you soon, inshallah. But it's important to be intentional about that protecting mechanism and having that within your mind that, you know, you are, as you mentioned, the words of affirmation that they have and let that translate over into the way that they think about themselves and about others around them. I want to ask you lastly, because we're about to conclude here, is the belt system. You know, people would think that the belt is only a symbol of your physical prowess. They're okay. Oh, he's a black belt. He'll beat me up. She'll beat me up. But does something else come along with that? Is it a license? Is it a shahada for something else? Is it a witness for something else? I remember that first when I got my black belt, my teacher looked at me, he's like, congratulations, you earned a piece of cloth. I'm looking at him like, what did you just say, a piece of cloth? How many years? And suddenly he stopped. He's like, black belt is just a color. You have to be afraid how that person earned that black belt. Dedication. Focus. Not giving up. Injuries. I mean, the list goes on and on and on. Go to the doctor's office, look at the certificate. What does it cost? How much does it cost to build a certificate? From King Code, probably like $0.50, maybe like $1, $2. But what goes behind the certificate?
The years of education, the years of hard work. So black belt is not just a piece of cloth that you put around your waist. It's a lot of determination, a lot of not giving up. And there's fact about black belt. I graduate over 1,000 black belts, over 1,000. Yes. Kids that they started as young as three years old, all the way to 60-something years old. Kids that they become a black belt, 98% of those kids are very successful. It's fact. It's true. It's fact. Fortitude, mental fortitude. Literally, every child that become a black belt, we have a list of all those kids, what they are right now. CEO, doctors, lawyers. As a matter of fact, one of the student, he came up to me as a coach. With a skinny kit, walked up to me as a coach. I want to be a Navy SEAL one day. And dad goes like. I'm like, Andrew, the goal we set is the goal we get. Whatever you want to do in life, my friend. Mashallah. He's a Navy SEAL right now. Allahu Akbar. The goals we set, the goals we get. And they say it every day. Mashallah. Yes. There's so many success stories. Why? Because parents never give up on their kids. Parents are like, son, this is sports. If you want to quit, that's fine. Do something else, but don't quit. Stick with it. I see parents, you know, my kid is improving. He's not improving. Let's kick him out. Let's do another sport. Okay. Consistency is key to success. I see parents are sitting down, like just watching the kids clapping, cheering. Those kids are 99.9%, 100%. They are very successful kids.
Wow. Subhanallah. And then we have parents, they drop them off in elementary school. They pick them up when they graduate from high school. And they bring it to us, like, coach, could you help my son? He's 18 years old. He doesn't want to spend a moment with me. I'm like, when was the last time that you spent with him? Spent a moment with him. And then we have parents that we call parents as coaches. They are the coaches. They are the sideliners. They're the one who cheers. Go, son. Come on. Let's do this. And then when they grow up, they're going to give a fist bump to the dad. And instead of like, hey, dad, what are you doing over here? When the kid grow up, they become the best friend of their mom and dad. So last words for the fathers that would say, you know, well, I don't know martial arts. I'll just let my son learn it. Would you even advise him to come and sit and watch even though he doesn't know anything about the sport? What would you advise those fathers? Lead by example. If you're going to go to gym, take your son. You go to gym first, then take your son with you. If you're going to go for a jog, take your son for a jog. Be active, father. Don't just be a sideline. Don't do anything. If your son trains for one hour, he trains for two hours. This is how success starts. So I encourage all the parents, if you don't know martial arts, ask the coach. Show some basic move. Everybody knows jab, cross. Hold the pads. Go to the park. Work with your child. Start with the young age. And believe me, they'll listen. If they don't listen, bring it back to the coach. Hey, coach. We'll work with them. Because we trust. We build trust with the kids. Kids, they're not scared of us. They don't want to disappoint us. Get physical. Get physical. Mashallah. Mashallah. Mashallah. Jazakallah khair. Bless you. Thank you. And allow you to flourish and have branches all around, not the U.S., but around the world. Thank you. Eagle martial arts. Mashallah. Jazakallah khair for coming in. Thank you so much. Mashallah.
Plenty of advice for all of us, inshallah. Mashallah. Mashallah. May Allah bless you two for coming in. Alhamdulillah. And that is masculine excellence through the physicality, combat sports, going through those phases in life mentally, physically. Nothing wrong with failure. That's only a means for you to get better. And I personally feel that combat sports is definitely the way to go. Mashallah. If you happen to come to Dallas, check them out. It's Eagle martial arts in Murphy, Texas, right around the corner from Epic East Plano Islamic Center. May Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la bless you all. And may Allah bless you young men and males to embody masculine excellence. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
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