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Discipline: Who Are You When No One's Watching? | Iman Cave
Learn from triathlete Ariel Del Fierro and youth director Ustadh Morad Awad the keys to having discipline both spiritually and physically in order to meet your goals. Because having goals isn’t the same as doing them. You cannot succeed without putting in the work, and that requires discipline. Islam’s very structure demands discipline from the Muslim, and it is critical for the Muslim man to be goal-oriented.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. That analysis, paralysis sometimes, it makes you fearful, it makes you scared, and it kind of makes you a wimp. Oh, I don't feel like it. I'm like, so? You don't feel like it, so what? You shouldn't feel like it. Actually, the more you don't feel like it, the more we accomplish because that means you're changing yourself. That's why the Prophet, peace be upon him, in a famous hadith, he said, حُفَّةِ الْجَنَّةُ بِالْمَكَارِحِ وَحُفَّةِ النَّارُ بِالشَّهَوَاتِ We were there at 6am, we were running, we were working out, and our coaches would always say, Who are you when no one's looking? For a new Muslim, right? I mean, when they memorize how to recite the letters, I'm like, you realize it's a huge account? If your non-Muslim family hears you reciting another language, We don't realize that, but that's like, that takes a level of discipline. It's nice when men sit down and kick it the men way. Like, yeah, you know, I want to do that. No, we're go-getters. We get up, we want to do something, we just do it, and it's beautiful. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته How's everyone doing? I'm Abdullah Oduro, and welcome to the Iman Cave, where we discuss issues of male excellence while being grounded in faith. Discipline. What is it? Why does it matter? Especially in the life of a man. You know, many people have become Muslim because they see their disciplined mentor, friend, co-worker. There must be something about it that helps to make the Muslim man a great man and an influential person. We're going to talk about that today, mashallah, with our co-host, Murad Awad. Mashallah, tabarak Allah. Murad Awad is the Entrepreneur of the Year, mashallah, tabarak Allah. And he has dealt with the youth for many, many years. So particularly talking about masculinity is, mashallah, his pastime. How you doing, man?
Alhamdulillah, Sheikh. Jazakallah khair for allowing me to be here. It's really an honor to be a guest and a co-host in this show, inshallah. Alhamdulillah. And he also, on the side, you know, does a little MMA for about, roughly about 15 years. But that's nothing, alhamdulillah. And speaking of that, we have, mashallah, our guest, my brother Ariel Del Fierro. Alhamdulillah, I hope I pronounced it correctly, mashallah, tabarak Allah. Ariel is a real estate agent. And also, I'm going to say it, he's a triathlete, mashallah, tabarak Allah. He's a running coach, amongst other things, in the community. As you can see, both of these brothers have an understanding of physicality. They have an understanding of what it takes to be a person of discipline because they went through processes mentally to get to a certain place. It reminds me of the hadith of the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam. The Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, said, The most beloved actions to Allah are those that are consistent, even if they were a little bit. So what does discipline mean to you? What does discipline mean to you, Murad? To me, discipline, discipline is what a man should, like, it's the aura of a man. When somebody looks at a man, they should see discipline. It's the ability to achieve and accomplish through consistency. That's my definition. I'm not trying to give you a Webster dictionary type of definition. But one thing I always remember about discipline, I would like for it to be, there's a lot of ayat in the hadith, I read this book when I was in college called The Art of War by Sun Tzu. It's a very famous book, everybody knows it. And he said to achieve discipline, you need clear instructions, good incentive, and a known punishment. Known punishment.
Yeah, for not being, for not following the instructions. And when I read the Quran, that's what you see. You see clear instructions, what Allah wants from a believer, right? Yeah. Clear instructions, and then good incentive, Jannah. Nice. And then a punishment, right? So Allah is like, it's there. And I'm like, it's as if he read, by the way, this was written like thousands of years ago. A long time ago. Yeah, a long time ago. But you see this, right? This is what I think of. No, that's interesting. You said the clear punishment and the consistency. You know, and I have a different definition for it too. Discipline is consistent acts of control to reach a desired goal. It rhymes too. Yeah, it rhymes too. The hadith of the Prophet, he says, he asked the question, if there was a river in the front of your house, and you were to bathe in it five times a day, would there be any dirt on you? And obviously, the companion said no. And he said, this is like the prayer. It wipes away the sins from the prayer that was before it. So Ariel, being someone, when did you convert to Islam? Or revert to Islam? 2012. 2012. How was the prayer for you when you first started? Because as the Prophet said this, five times a day. And I'm not going to lie. When I first heard about Islam, everything was cool. But then when he said, but you got to pray five times a day, I said, man, that's like every single day. Five times. And this was around the time when phones were out. So I was like, do I get rollovers a lot? Like if I don't make the five today, can I do six tomorrow? He's like, no, man. It was five times a day. And when I stopped and thought about it, it's better for me. You know what I'm saying? But it was a process. How was it for you? Same. I mean, I'll be honest. I struggled for years to make those five prayers. I mean, I remember very early on, like sometimes not praying all day. And at the end of the day, I'm like, oh, I should pray all five right now. And I would. But it was a struggle.
It was something that I thought was the hardest thing possible. But really, it wasn't until I dug into the religion and learned the beauty of it and then learned it's something that my Lord wants me to do. And I need to dedicate those five moments of my day so that in turn, I will get a reward from my Lord for pleasing my Lord. So it's one of those things I saw. It took me a while, but I saw that clear path that was just open enough for me. If I was disciplined enough to make those five prayers, I knew that God was going to reward me that day. It was kind of my logic, right? And just reward me in my life if I consistently kept doing those things. So, I mean, being a new Muslim, for sure, I don't think anyone that hasn't converted realizes that is a hard thing to grasp and understand that you've got to do this. But then eventually, you actually said something to me really profound one time. You just said, just keep doing it. This is a new Muslim thing that we did years, years ago. I remember asking the question, like, I don't really feel this prayer sometimes. And you just said, keep doing it. Do it every day. Do it five times a day. Keep doing it. And what that did for me is I fell in love with the prayer at some point. But it took years for me to fall in love with that prayer. Yeah, man. And that's good you said it because that's so human. You know, we as men sometimes, especially when we're younger, getting up for Fajr or waking up or having to get your first job, you've got to really look at the reward. So the reward from Allah. And that's what we were talking about the last episode of purpose, that our purpose is transcendent. It's something that's not like, OK, we want the white picket fence and the job. And as a man, if I'm going to be a father, a leader, I have to think beyond. And that's the beautiful thing about the prayer because you have to detach. Yeah. And that's what makes you a strong man as well. You find in the manuscript now they talk about being stoic, being a person that's a minimalist. This is already in the fabric of the dean of Islam. It's not new to us. Yeah, it's not new. It's not new. So how was the prayer for you? I mean, when you were younger, I mean, you're from Jersey, Patterson. Yeah, I'm from Patterson.
SubhanAllah. You know, I think one ayah that struck me was, subhanAllah, it's about discipline, but Allah summarized it with regards to Quran. He said, إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ كَانَتْ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ كِتَابًا مَوْقُوتًا So when you're like, Salah for the believers is a prescribed book, right? Meaning, OK, I got to do this right now. OK, then when the Salah time comes, that's it. It's like a timestamp in your day. Yeah. Right? Everything is built around it. So what I understood from that is that, OK, OK, I'm not going to be a believer until I can achieve this bare minimum amount of discipline. You know what I'm saying? It's as if Allah is saying, you know how there's a bare minimum of, like, of Iman? Yeah. Right. And that's why Salah was connected to Iman. That's what I was about to say. Yeah, exactly. Right? The Prophet ﷺ, he's like, you know, الْعَحْدُ بَيْنِنَا وَبَيْنَمُ الصَّلَاةِ Like, you know, the covenant between us. It's like, the Salah is the bare minimum amount of discipline a believer has to have. Yeah, and it conditions you, man, because you have to stop five times a day. And then it makes you responsible, right? So if you're a born Muslim and you come at a certain age, it's time for you to pray. Parents, we don't realize that sometimes, you know, our 15-, 16-year-old know, it's like, okay, you are on your own now. You have to get up and pray. You're going to answer in front of Allah ﷻ. You're going to answer to Him if you don't make those prayers. You know what I mean? So that's what's beautiful is that time that you have to stop and allocate for prayer. And if you don't, you know, in the beginning you may have to, at least you hold yourself accountable to a certain degree because you see that ultimate reward. You know what I mean? SubhanAllah. It reminded me, actually, actually, the verse. There's another verse, which is beautiful, which says, وَأْمُرْ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلَاةِ وَصْبِرْ عَلَيْهَا
You know, Allah says, order your family to pray and have perseverance over it. You know, He didn't say, وَصْبِرْ عَلَيْهَا. He added more letters. It says, زِيَادَةُ الْمَمْنَةِ تُدُلْعَ زِيَادَةُ الْمَعْنِ When you add more letters in the Arabic verb makeup, the morphology, you add more letters, it has more of a meaning to it. So وَصْبِرْ means patience over a long period of time. So it's like when you mention the prayer, you have to stop and think to yourself, I have to do this for the rest of my life. That's the thought. I've never done this before for the rest of my life. But then, you know, it's that reward that kept you going. It's like, man, I know Allah wants this. I know Allah really wants this. But for that to transition over to the physical sports, right? Athletics. I mean, all of us here, you know, we have been in some form of athletics, of physical exertion, of pushing yourself to the limit. That requires some mental fortitude. You know what I mean? Some mental fortitude. I'll start on myself. I mean, I remember when I, I mean, as a youth, I've always been into sports. I've always been in anything that had a ball, I was down. Playing, you know, it was like tackle football in the street. You know what I'm saying? It was touch. We were like, you played touch for so long. You know, it's like, oh, man, come on, let's play tackle. You know, that's this, that aggression. That's tough. Yeah, and it's normal. You know what I mean? Tackle on the asphalt, Sheikh. Yeah, tackle on the asphalt. That's next level. Make you grow up real fast. Yeah, make you grow up real fast, man. Real fast, real fast, real fast. So when I came back from Saudi Arabia after studying, I came back and, I mean, I was overweight. You know, it was the basbousa and, you know, the sweets and the end up. The kebseh. The kebseh. The basbousa, kebseh, ma'asouf. Ma'asouf. Ma'asouf, man. Oh, man, I had to have my ma'asouf. But came back, and then my friend told me something the way that I looked, and I just couldn't handle it.
With the thoat, man, you still, you know, you still, you know, you need to lose something. So brought me in the gym, and then it just brought me back. But then I realized, man, I got to be consistent with this. One of the hardest things for me was the diet, to be honest. But then, like you said, you have to reach, there's a goal that you have to have. You know what I mean? So you've been in jiu-jitsu for 15 years, or MMA for 15 years? Just like general, yeah, MMA, for about 15 years. But, Sheikh, you know what? Discipline is, it's a transferable thing. Exactly. Like you were probably disciplined in memorizing Quran, reading books and studying with the scholars, and then you came here and you realized that same discipline has to go to a needed aspect in life. So it was easy to kind of like switch in. You know what I mean? Yeah, definitely. You know, I feel like the hardest thing is when someone doesn't have, never experienced discipline, right? Never experienced that discipline on their own. And when I say discipline, it's not like, oh, yeah, I went to school for 12 years of my life, you know? No, your mom woke you up and sent you there and you hated it, you know? And brought you back and you had to study because, you know, what you're going to get if you don't. Right. So discipline, I think, is when a man just decides to, you know, like I'm going to put in this work, I want to achieve this goal, and I need to phase everything out that's going to deter me from that. Right. No, that's beautiful, man. Like you said, transferable. And I think that's what's important for parents to know. You know what I'm saying? I mean, you can even start with your child getting their first job and them having to get up and go to work by themselves. I mean, I love seeing that in my son, you know, when he used to get up and, you know, pray Fajr, then go to work. So get in that process. Like you got to pray Fajr, then go to work. This is what we call responsible. I don't want to do it. Well, life isn't about what you want to do. You know, life isn't care. You have to keep moving. Like you said, memorizing the Quran is huge, man. How many times do I tell like the young guys, you know, it's like, look,
you realize you've memorized this whole book. I know there were days that you didn't want to do this. Yeah. Right? Yeah. But you did it and you accomplished it. Or even you haven't accomplished, you've gotten halfway. You've gotten, you know, much further. Yeah. Like even for a new Muslim, right? I mean, when they've memorized how to recite the letters, I'm like, you realize it's a huge accomplishment. If your non-Muslim family hears you reciting another language. Oh, yeah. We don't realize that. But that's like, that takes a level of discipline, man. So running. Yeah. I need it. We all need it. We all need it. You were talking earlier before. We were talking with Tamer, mashallah, about, you know, because you're a running coach. Yeah. And you were talking about how I asked you the question of what are the things that people do wrong when running. Right. That amounts in injuries, long-term injuries, but they don't realize it. Right. And you mentioned, what was your answer? Just too much, too fast, usually. Too much, too fast. Yeah. Okay. So what's the medicine, though? What's the formula? The medicine is, of course, discipline and consistency over a long period of time. Right. And you see that with running, it's a tangible thing that you can look at your phone a year ago and look at it now if you consistently ran, that you can see this trending line of, like, oh, I've gotten better. Oh, I'm healthier, et cetera. Right. So for me, running has always been that tangible thing I can hold onto when I'm even lying to myself about, you know, learning Arabic or whatever it is. I can always say, no, I'm capable of anything if I just do it consistently over a long period of time. And so, you know, that for me is kind of what's been the key. Like, discipline to me is the key that unlocks everything. Because everything can be broken down into small tasks and everybody can do a small task, right? And you can do it repetitively over and over and over. And, like, one day you'll look back and you'll say, I memorized the whole Quran, subhanallah. Never thought, there's been plenty of times you would think, oh, I'm never going to be able to do that. Right. But you do. Subhanallah.
How was it for you? Your first time, because you told me you love football. Yeah. Right? How did that transfer over into long-distance running and then to doing triathlons? Your first time when you started intentionally running, what was going through your mind? So I grew up playing Texas football in the heart of North Texas. So I grew up, and I want to say the hardest off-season possible. We were there at 6 a.m., we were running, we were working out, and our coaches would always say, who are you when no one's looking, right? Because there were so many bodies and they couldn't make sure everyone was doing the right form. But I always internalized that because I'm like, I see everyone doing half reps in the gym. I see everyone not running as hard as they can. I wasn't the most, like, physical person, but I was like, I can do those things. I can do the things that the coaches want that now I can see are, like, that are going to build you to be a better man just in general. They understand there's going to be cheaters, but there's going to be those kids that aren't cheating, right? And those are the kids they're talking to, those kids that are going to take that. So I've always had that foundation of, like, this hard work ethic, and there was no denying it. There was no getting around it. It was there. I was there every day. I had to do the work. People were watching. So I did it, and I think that just transitioned to me looking for something hard again. You know, you get older, you get out of high school, you get out of college, then there's no, like, hard physical task. You know, you sign up for a 5K, a 10K, but there's not something that, like, scares you a little bit inside. There you go. And so maybe about four years ago I made a decision to, like, every year I'm going to set a goal that sounds super crazy on January 1st, but by the time I do it, it's going to be amazing, right? Like, I'm going to do something that I never thought I was going to do. Even if I don't reach that goal, I'm going to get so much closer than I would ever if I didn't even start. So every year I set a goal, something really physical, something really hard. So the last three years I've been chasing a sub-three-hour marathon, which is, like, 650 average pace. I haven't got there yet. But for the last three years, I've had the biggest growth in just my overall health just because I'm chasing that dream.
Chasing a dream. Chasing it. Mashallah. There's a friend of mine out in Atlanta. He has a book called Chasing 100. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, mashallah. So when you're at triathlons, you have to prepare, like, six months in advance. Isn't this amazing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a huge time commitment, yeah. Huge time commitment. SubhanAllah. SubhanAllah. It's just getting up. And that's why, really, the mental fortitude, you know, mentally you have to be there, right? You have to be with it. You have to be with it, yes. SubhanAllah. And that's why I'm almost sure when we dealt with the youth, we've all dealt with the youth. Yeah. You know, you hear them. But it's a beautiful thing because when you tell them it's time to get up and pray and they're like, I don't want to pray. Or it's time to get up and, you know, roll or some type of check. There's a common statement, I don't feel like it. I don't feel like it. I don't feel like it. Is that something that contributes to discipline or is an antagonist to it? What are your thoughts on that? Well, like, you know, I think discipline is overcoming the feeling that you don't want to do something. Right? That's what discipline is, like, in essence, right? Because, like, nobody wants to put their muscles, strain their muscles or get tired or sweaty or distract yourself, like, you know, from other things that might be funner or make you, like, happier, I guess, in life, right? Right. So just, I guess, the statement, Shaykh, like, for me, I don't feel like it. Like, so? You don't feel like it. So what? You shouldn't feel like it. Yeah. Right? Actually, the more you don't feel like it, the more we accomplish. The more we accomplish because that means you're changing yourself. You're putting yourself. That's why the Prophet ﷺ, in a famous hadith, he said, حُفَّتِ الْجَنَّةُ بِالْمَكَارِحِ وَحُفَّتِ النَّارُ بِالشَّهَوَاتِ Beautiful. جَنَّةُ Surrounded with hardship. Right? So, like, if you look at جَنَّةُ and it's actually an interesting hadith. جِبْرِيلُ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ You saw, it was like almost, I think it was a hadith,
قُدْسِ when جِبْرِيلُ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ, he saw جَنَّةُ, it was an amazing, and the hadith قُدْسِ is when Allah ﷻ said, it's a hadith that Allah said, that's not part of the Qur'an, right? That our Prophet ﷺ informed us about. When Allah created جَنَّةُ, He told جِبْرِيلُ, look at جَنَّةُ. So, when He looked at it, He told Allah, He said, Ya Allah, no one would hear about it except that they would enter it and do anything to enter it. And then Allah surrounded it with hardships. مَكَارِحِ Right? And then He said, Ya Allah, I don't know if anyone can make it there with all the hardships. Why? It's as if hardship, the ability to overcome hardship, is the pathway to جَنَّةُ. And it's a transferable thing. Yes. It's transferable. So, that's in my opinion. No, حَسِبَ النَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوا أَن يَقُولُوا أَمَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ These people think that they will be left without them saying, I believe in Allah and they will not be tested. And those tests are going to be things that you don't want to do. That is what responsibility is. And that's why it's so important for a young man to go through this struggle. Yeah. I mean, the struggle is always going to be there, but when the struggle is there, what are the choices that you're making? If you're choosing the easy way out, you're not going to really understand what struggle is about. Right? And then when you go through the struggle and you accomplish it, then you realize, okay, if I accomplish this, what more is there out there in life that I can accomplish? Exactly. And that's the beauty of the Muslim man, because the Muslim man is like, look, with Allah on my side, with Allah working, you know, trusting in Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, and trusting in something beyond my own capabilities, not relying on myself, the sky's the limit. You know what I say to the youth out there, Sheikh, since you mentioned like me working
with the youth, I tell them just push through, discipline yourself through these hardships that you don't feel like going through, or you don't see the urgency of going through. The moment you accomplish one in your life, that's it. You're going to be addicted to it. You're like, man, and actually, that's going to be the pride of your life. You're like, you know, I went through this, and you see a lot of people, man, I pushed through this until even like the Hafiz, the little like, the kids who memorize the Qur'an, like, man, I went through and I, this was the hardest time of my life. And even during this time, I said, and I like, okay, you might have hated it when you're doing it, right? Maybe you didn't want to wake up, maybe you didn't want to push through, but when you accomplish it, your whole life, you're going to be like, yeah, that's the goal I accomplished despite the hardship. So I just like my advice to every, every young man and woman out there is like just young men, especially like to, to, to just push through it, you know, push through it. It's hard. Don't give up. Just push through it. The moment you accomplish it, you're going to know why we're talking about discipline. Exactly. Right. Right. Because they just don't know what, uh, what they're doing it for. What was hard for you? What, what thing in your life when you were younger, that was hard for you to stay consistent on and then you finally got on track, you finally, you know, took that transferable discipline that you had in one thing and then let it carry over to that thing that you were struggling in. Honestly, I always wanted to, I always wanted to memorize the Qur'an, right? And that was a tough thing for me, right? And something I realized that it was tough because I was, I was inconsistent. I didn't want to like drop certain like hangouts or this other commitment. I was invited here. I was doing this. I'm hanging out. I want to go and visit this. I'm traveling. Right. Like I realized that.
You let the, I don't want to do it. Yeah. I let that. No, I don't feel like doing it now. I don't feel like doing this right now. I don't feel like it. I don't feel like it until I'm like, you know, you don't need to feel like it. You're going to feel Jannah or feel not, you know, so you better get yourself together and focus. Right. Yeah. Because he started praying because Allah was the most important thing. Yeah. So, yeah. So I put myself like to that, you know, Alhamdulillah. And then I remember my Sheikh, like when I traveled, I traveled Saudi, right? So the first day I was there, like I literally landed. Next day Fajr, I went and met the Sheikh. Wow. Okay. Next day Fajr, like, I'm like, you know, I heard, I had asked who's a good Sheikh, sat with him and I stuck to him for like three years. And he was actually, he knew about discipline. You have a teacher who has information to give, but then you have a mentor who disciplines you. And that's the difference, you know, because a lot of people have information. But the Sheikh told me, look, he told me one thing that changed my life. He knew the solution. The first thing he asked me was, okay, well, how's your journey been with the Quran? And I told him, you know, I've been this, I've been inconsistent. He's like, okay, I want you here four days a week, whether you memorize or not, you're going to come and sit here. He said, if you memorize, you come and you recite. If you don't memorize, you're going to come and sit next to me and listen to everyone who recited. Oh. So I'd go like that. So after a few times, I'm like, man, I'm wasting my time. I'm just sitting there and I'm looking at the ones like surpassing me. Right. I'm just sitting there. I'm like, man, what a bummer. Look at all these guys. You know? And the more I'm like, I'm not wasting my time no more. I'm just going to come. Yo, but those, he's like, you block it off. He's like, Quran, you got to prioritize. Yeah. Right. And that was a discipline. That was where like the discipline was.
You know, Sheikh, one thing I wanted to, you know why I started with the Sun Tzu statement? Clear instruction. I really want to talk about that. And you mentioned something about like, like your coach told you to do certain workouts and stuff like that. Right, Ariel? Yeah. Yeah. Like you wouldn't cheat it. Clear instructions, right, is the first condition of achieving discipline, but it also has to come from a trusted source. If you don't trust who's instructing you, who's telling you, like who's setting the path for you, you're never going to be disciplined, right? Like how many people like, oh, you know what kind of diet you got to be on? You got to cut this out, cut that out. And you know, you don't trust the person and they're giving you instructions, but you don't trust their knowledge of it or you trust their knowledge, but they're not being clear. Yeah, you could do that. You know, he's very knowledgeable, but he's not paying you mind. He's not giving you exactly what to do or he's not telling you, you know, so you could never achieve discipline until you have someone you trust to guide you and someone who can clearly tell you how to get to the goal every step of the way. Right. And, and, you know, that's my, my thing. No, that's, that's beautiful, man. Because when you're talking about that, you know, we're looking at Allah and the first Ramadan, man. How was your first Ramadan? I remember my first drink of water, my first Ramadan. It was, uh, you know, I, I look forward to those things, like hard things. I like, I'm usually the head first into those kinds of things. I was all on board, but I do remember my very first drink. I played football that day. I was dying of thirst. I played football that morning. And this is when Ramadan was in like August. This was a long time ago. Right. So this is a full day, full sun out all day long. The sweetest water I've ever drank in my life.
The water was even sweet. It was sweet. It was sweet. It tastes different. But, but I wanted to touch on something earlier. So like the things that we in our brains tell ourself are hard, eventually are not hard anymore. Right. With consistency, with that discipline. So like, it used to be really hard to make two prayers, hard to make three prayers, but then you have those shifts. You had that shift. You're sitting in this Masajid and everyone's reciting and you're not, you had that shift in your mind to say like, oh, I'm going to now, I'm going to do it. I have to now. And so, I mean, there's no answer to when that thing happens, but it just happens sometimes. And if there's people in the community that can kind of help, you know, kids figure that out sooner, it's kind of a lot of be amazing, you know. I don't want people to, there's a trap. There's a trap though. There's going to be some people that are watching this, watching other programs. I mean, they watch, you know, certain people, whether it's your, your, your, your Eric Thomas or your David Goggins, wherever the case may be, or Mashallah, you know, different, different people, they get motivated and they reach a point of they're motivated in being disciplined. Like it's interesting, you know, I'm, I, you know, I, I like how this person looks or I like their schedule, man, that's great. I'm going to do it. It's kind of like the new year's resolution that people have, right. You know, the first month is great, but then month, the sixth month, where are we? Right. What do y'all think about that? Cause that to me is like a trap, you know, when you're motivated to be in discipline, what would you tell someone that you see? So my theme for all of 2024 is to, is to do the work in the dark. And so I'm only proven to myself that I'm like, so I'm chasing a marathon time, right. And what will be the result is all the work I put in. So that on that day, there's no lying to myself. There's no saying if I missed a workout or I missed a run, or I wasn't doing something consistently, it's going to show on that day. I mean, I'm all, I'm the only person to blame, you know, so my whole motive, my whole theme of this year is just do the work in the dark. You can't lie. You can't lie to yourself.
The work is going to do the job for you at the end of the day. No one needs to see the work because you're only going to prove to yourself at the end of it that you did it or didn't. And if you know you didn't, you're going to feel, you know, sad, regret, all those feelings. And so that's, you know, what you don't want, you know, that reminds me of what I'll tell you, what it reminds me of. Wait, wait. No, no, you tell me. Tahajjud. Allah. Tahajjud. SubhanAllah. Tahajjud. Yes. SubhanAllah. What did he say? SubhanAllah. Spread the salams, feed the poor people, pray in the night when everyone's sleeping, you'll enter Jannah peacefully. Yes. SubhanAllah. That's beautiful, man. Like, you know, praying and then, you know, SubhanAllah, Allah even gives the incentive when you pray in the last third of the night Tahajjud, is there anyone asking that I can forgive them, that I can answer their dua, you know, SubhanAllah. And that's beautiful. Allah Akbar. You were going to mention something. I was going to mention Omar's statement, right? He said, حَاسِبُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ قَبْلَ أَن تُحَاسَبُوا وَزِنُوا أَعْمَالَكُمْ قَبْلَ أَن تُوزَنُوا Right? Which means, you know, judge yourself before you get judged. Weigh your own actions before they get weighed for you. Right? So, I think it's a profound, I think it's a profound statement, Wallahu A'lam. Like, you know, it's something that if you just put in front of your eyes, you can always be like, okay, I'm not, I don't need to wait for anyone to judge me. Let me judge myself. Exactly. Like, deep down, بَلِلْإِنسَانُ عَلَى نَفْسِهِ بَصِيرًۭا بَصِيرًۭا بَصِيرًۭا Like, we know ourselves better than anybody. Right. Like, you know you're slacking. You know you can do more. Just be brutally honest with yourself. That's it, man. Right? You know, and judgmentalism, too. You know, we talk a lot about judgmentalism, but I think sometimes it has a negative effect if it's applied to one's self.
Like, you have to judge yourself. Right? You've got to be harsh on yourself and kind to others. And that's the opposite of, like, ego, being egotistical, right? Or just, you know, judging others and forgetting ourselves. And it's beautiful, man. Like, you said, do it in the dark when no one's there, when no one's watching. I think it was, I forgot which boxer was saying, the real champions are when they're practicing, when they're practicing alone. Yeah. I think it was Usain Bolt. What did he say? He said, I train something like nine months for nine seconds. That's beautiful, man. Like, because you only, you know, the race is only, what, nine plus seconds. Nine plus seconds. But you train how long for that moment. That takes discipline. It takes really looking at the light at the end of the tunnel and really desiring it. And that's why Jannah, subhanAllah, as you mentioned, the reward for the believer, that's what's going to keep them going. تَتَجَافَى جُنُوبُهُمْ عَنِ الْمَضَاجِيَةِ يَدْعُونَ رَبُّهُمْ خَوْفٌ مَطْلُمَعًا You know, Allah SWT talks about those believers. He says, their sides are distant from their places that they lie, where they lay their head. تَتَجَافَى جُنُوبُهُمْ عَنِ الْمَضَاجِيَةِ مَضْجَع is like your place of rest. And what are they doing? يَدْعُونَ رَبُّهُمْ خَوْفٌ مَطْلُمَعًا They're calling on Him with full fear of Him and full hope in Him. You know, subhanAllah, like what you're saying, it's just a matter of just do it. Don't think too much about it. You know, those that are motivated to be disciplined, it's like they think too much. Analysis paralysis. There's going to be times in your life, especially for a man, that's where I want to transition over to, is for the man, you're just going to have to get up and do it. Which leads to risk because that analysis paralysis sometimes, it makes you fearful, it makes you scared, and it kind of makes you a wimp, bro. I'm going to keep it 100. It makes you really a wimp, like makes you weak. When you think too much about it, to where at the end of the day, a year down the line, you did absolutely nothing. And then what will happen is shaitan will play with you, and you'll give excuses. And that'll be your pattern.
Giving excuses for being fearful and weak. And as a man, as a protector of society, starting with yourself. That's the whole concept of jihad al-nafs. Fighting yourself, fighting your desires, it's not something, you know, it's going to be here one day, you're going to mess up this day. But it's a process, and it takes discipline. SubhanAllah. Ariel, I don't know about you, man. This session's been inspiring to me, man. You guys are, mashallah, amazing. Everything you shared, it's nice to, it's nice when men sit down and kick it the men way. Yeah. Right? Like, yeah, you know, I want to do that. We're go-getters. Yeah. Right. We, you know, we get up, we want to do something, we just do it, you know, and it's beautiful. And sheikh, by the way, I think we should elaborate on surrounding yourself with people who are disciplined. Oh, no doubt about it. Yeah, that's like something serious, because like, when everyone around you is like loose and, right, have no goals and no discipline. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you are who you hang around with, right? Exactly. You know, your parents told you that as a kid and you ignored it, but you grow up and you're like, subhanallah, they knew this whole time. Yeah, man. That's the other thing, man. You know, it's beautiful. The Prophet, he said, المرء على دين خليلي فلينظر أحدكم من يخالد He said, if the person is on the religion or way of his friends, so you should look at who you befriend. You know, it's deep because, you know, as a young man, there's that pressure. High school, college, Muslims too, you know, you're going in an environment out to the wolves, man. It's, you know, the hadith of the Prophet, what did he tell Ali? I think it's in Tirmidhi. He said, يَعْلِي لَا تُطْبِعُ النَّظْرَةَ النَّظَرَةَ فَإِنَّ لَكَ الْأُولَى وَعَلَيْكَ الثَّانِيَةَ He said, O Ali, do not follow up looking with another look, you know, at the opposite gender, female. He said, for you is the first, but upon you is the second. You're held accountable if you look a second time.
So, if you're around friends, what's the term they use now? Riz. Charisma. Like Riz. Did you Riz her? You know, it's like, how many females are you talking to? How many phone numbers do you have? How many DMs did you slide in? One that's trying to be a disciplined, honorable man doesn't do this stuff, right? Because he's around people that are like, bro, how did you even have time to DM? Like, what goals are you trying to accomplish? Have you looked for a job? Have you started an endeavor? Online, you can make a lot of money. There's things you can do. Have you read any Quran? Like, what kinds of people are you around? You know what I mean? So, that's deep. That's deep, man. And that's perhaps what, you know, the benefit of, like, salah in jama'ah. Yeah. Why the Prophet, peace be upon him, always encouraged salah. Because, like, just think of it this way. If you get up, you go to the masjid. And you line up in a certain way and you do specific movements in a specific order with people who are disciplined enough to come on time to pray in this jama'ah. So, it's like, it's not only is it a discipline for you to pray, but what's encouraged in the sharia is five meet-ups with disciplined people. Hmm. D. Right? Like, you're supposed to be around disciplined people five times a day as well. So, that's like, perhaps, part of the... That's interesting, man. Yeah, that's deep, man. I like that. Punctuality. Cleanliness. Cleanliness. Yeah. You know, order. You know what I'm saying? Obedience. Following the leader, the imam. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? And then socially, there's certain adab even in the masjid, right? It's deep. And that's why, you know, you think about it, you find the older men constantly in the masjid. Because they've been through life and they kind of, like you mentioned earlier... They got the keys. They got the keys, man. They got the keys, yeah.
And that's why, inshallah, that term, you know, we'll talk about it soon, inshallah, rites of passage. Inshallah. You know, being around those people that'll teach you what a man is like. And from that, definitely is disciplined, man. Inshallah. Jazakallah khair. Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless you brothers and ma'am, inshallah. We ask Allah, inshallah, to bless the triathlete with healthy joints, inshallah. I got to get out of that room with you, man. Inshallah. And that's not going to be... Someday is not the day of the week, man. You know what I'm saying? You got to do it, you know? That's it. Just do it, man. Just do it, man. I guess I got to start in my garage in the dark. You know what I'm saying? You have to, Shay. I have to, too. You know, I can barely run a couple miles. But, you know, with discipline, inshallah... With discipline, you can do anything. Maybe by next year, I'll be something else. You can. You know, because now, after knowing all this about you, I trust your coaching, you know? Alhamdulillah. No, definitely. Inshallah, you'll tell me how to get there, inshallah. You can join us in the MMA gym as well. Let's do it. Honestly, this is a thing that I've been pushing off for, like, two or three years now. Yeah. It makes me uncomfortable to walk in there, but I want to one day. Inshallah. And so, inshallah, maybe you'll be the one to help me do that. Anytime, inshallah, brother. I've been meaning to do that. It's been one of my bucket list items. Inshallah. Alhamdulillah. It's a pleasure. And that's the beauty of brothers meeting together and just in a man cave, you know? Vibrant, alhamdulillah. Talking about things that men go through and discussing it from an Islamic perspective. May Allah, subhanAllah, bless all of you for tuning in. And may Allah bless you to be the best Muslim men that you can be. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
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