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S3 E7: Responding to Suicide | Doubletake
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If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or to you local prevention centers or mental health experts
Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the United States, and despite what some may believe, Muslims are not immune to it. As such, it is necessary for us to understand how best to respond to it. What is Islam’s position on s∪icide and those who passed away from it? How should we respond as a community when we lose someone in this way? What can we do as individuals to protect ourselves and others from this crisis?
In this episode, host Mohamad Zaoud sits down with Dr. Farah Islam, Director of the Psychospirituality Department at Yaqeen Institute, to explore these questions and discuss suicide prevention.
Disclaimer: The contents of this episode are for general informational purposes only, and are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any condition or disease or substitute for medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment.
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Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the United States, and despite what some may believe, Muslims are not immune to it. This means that it is necessary for us to understand how best to respond to it. What is Islam's position on suicide and those who passed away from it? How should we as a community respond when we lose someone in this way? And what can we do as individuals to support and protect ourselves and others? Talking openly about suicide in our community is important, but we also recognize that listening to this episode may bring about some tough emotions. If so, please talk to a trusted family member, a friend, or a local support service about how you're feeling. Today on Double Take, I spoke with Dr. Farah Islam openly about this topic of suicide. Dr. Farah is a mental health advocate, educator, and researcher. She's taught courses in Muslim mental health at the University of Toronto, the Islamic Online University, and the Islamic Institute of Toronto. She currently serves on the expert advisory committee for the Muslim women's shelter, Nisaa Homes. Dr. Farah is one of the heads of the data and psycho-spiritual department at Yaqeen Institute. Before we get into the episode, please don't forget to subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, YouTube, Spotify, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. And if you like what you hear, please don't forget to share your feedback in the link in the show notes below. Enjoy the episode. Dr. Farah Islam, assalamu alaikum and welcome to Double Take. Wa alaikum assalam, President Mohammed. So happy to be here. Thank you so much. And your work is really, really pivotal for the Muslim community. And so jazakallah khair for everything that you're doing. Barakallahu feekum, that's very kind.
At the outset, do you mind explaining for our audiences what your body of work has been over the last few years? What have you focused on? What's been kind of keeping you up at night? MashaAllah. So, alhamdulillah, I've had sort of the privilege and the honour of being able to work within the Muslim community and really trying to, I guess like the crux or the central part of what I do is a lot about dismantling mental health stigma. And so I got to teach a really great course at the University of Toronto. I'm in Canada. And so I got to teach this great course called Muslim Mental Health Research Policy and Practice. It was just great to engage with the community, talk about these really important issues and what's really affecting our community. Alhamdulillah. And now I got to join Yareen, which is so exciting. Alhamdulillah, I've been working in the Psychospiritual and Data Department, working on different papers and research, really trying to push Muslim mental health to the forefront. You know, what are those variables that affect Muslim mental health? What is impacting us as a community? How do we help people get help that they need whenever they're facing those mental health struggles? Dr. Farah, if I've had a bachelor's in neuroscience and a master's in neuroscience, I would have thought about working for Neuralink or some, you know, radical technology company and going down that route. You decided to focus on Muslim mental health when you really could have done anything in the space at the forefront of technology. Why would you have given up that kind of trajectory to focus on Muslim mental health? That's a great question, Brother Mohamed. Honestly, I kind of did a lot of soul searching. And I found that when I was younger, a lot of what motivated me to take on different challenges or different projects or the work that I did was definitely motivated by this whole idea of do the most difficult thing you can imagine, take on the most difficult challenge and excel at it.
And that was kind of my primary motivation. And that that's what I did. And in my master's. So you're saying Muslim, so you're saying Muslim mental health is more complicated than than working for a Neuralink. Okay, point taken. That's true. No, no, I pivoted, though, when I found that that wasn't as fulfilling, because I found that that was me just doing what I thought was difficult or a challenge and thinking that that was an achievement. But then it pivoted when I felt that that wasn't helping the community or wasn't being implemented, that work was just staying in academia and not being actually useful in the community. And just a personal story, of course, you know, mental illness runs in my family. And so, you know, just growing up and seeing what my family members are going through and just sort of the the shame or the community reprisal that they faced every day for just having a mental illness, for having an illness that they had no choice and no say in the matter. And they were just trying to survive and face every day of their lives. For me, you know, it was like watching someone suffering and seeing people just kick people in the face. I just found that unconscionable. And so I just wanted to do whatever I could to be part of sustainable solutions to change that in any way, any small way that I could contribute to that. MashaAllah. JazakAllah Khair. You know, our topic today is suicide, and it is a taboo topic. It's something that certainly I didn't grow up learning from Islamic sources. And it's a very, very sensitive topic. So I think before we get into the episode, and the tough questions that come about when we talk about suicide and the Muslim community, do you mind for the purpose of this episode defining what suicide is, and then what Islam's position in general is about suicide? Yeah, absolutely.
So inshallah for the purposes or the scope of our episode today, we're talking about suicide in the context of mental illness or someone's facing mental health struggles. And then the Islamic position of suicide, so the idea of someone taking their own life, or dying by suicide, is what we're going to be focusing on inshallah. It's a really deep and complicated topic, but inshallah, we're going to try our best to do it justice in terms of the Islamic position on suicide. So there are many verses of the Quran, for example, that talk about the prohibition of taking life, of taking the life of others, or the taking of your own life. For example, Allah says in Surah An-Nisa, do not kill yourselves. And also, Surah Al-Ma'idah, it's as if if you take one person's life, it's as if you've killed all of humanity, for example. So there is a great prohibition on taking life. There's a great sanctity of life. We're looking at maqasid ash-shari'ah, the principles of which our Islamic law is based on. One of them is this idea of preservation of life. It's an important foundational aspect of our faith. But what I want to present and what we want to talk about on Double Take is this idea that suicide or different cases or special circumstances of suicide need to be looked at as well, that it isn't black and white. And that's kind of what I wanted to present in today's episode, inshallah. Dr. Farah, when we spoke earlier this week, you were speaking about Maryam alayhi salam. And I guess, can we define it as suicidal thoughts, if I'm not mistaken? Yeah, so you know, there's this beautiful story of Maryam alayhi salam.
Recently, the pains of childbirth, extreme physical pain, as well as the emotional pain, right? She's facing sort of this idea of the ignominy and shame that she's going to have to face her community with a child that's been born to her and she's not married. So she's going through all of this struggle and hardship and she cries out and she says, ya laytani mittu qabla hadha, I wish I had died before this. I wish I was forgotten. And it's such a powerful sort of verse and just shows her despair. And what I think is so beautiful that what we have to really look at here is that Allah subhana wa ta'ala, what does he do? Does he rebuke her for her thoughts or wishing for her death? What does he say? Allah subhana wa ta'ala, he sends an angel to her. He sends angel Jibreel alayhi salam, who gives her words of comfort, words of hope. He says la tahzani, do not grieve. And he shows her that there's a stream for her so she can drink from it, that there's a date palm, she can have fruit from it. So he provides her with the blessings that Allah has surrounded her with and reminds her of not giving up, that all is not lost, that la tahzani, do not grieve. And just shows her that he's here for her. So Dr. Farah, we want to get into the nuance in a few moments, but do you mind just explaining from where you stand, why is Islam so hard on suicide? And is it, I guess? And why is it impermissible? I know it's a very simple question, but I'd love to understand once and for all. Yeah, absolutely. So the impermissibility of it, we're talking about it in most cases as it being sinful, again, is that idea of the preservation of life, right? Allah subhana wa ta'ala, this has given us the gift of life and we do our best through
our struggles, through our hardships to worship him. And that's sort of the purpose of our existence. And so, you know, the impermissibility of it, of course, is to take us away from harm. Allah subhana wa ta'ala would never want that type of death for us, right? Suicide is a very lonely and difficult death for anyone to have to face. And so Allah subhana wa ta'ala gives us, you know, sort of parameters to live our lives so that we don't have to get to that point. But again, this idea, the blanket statement that it's sinful in every single situation, we need to discuss that further because it's a little bit more complicated than that. Let us go deeper then. What is missing from the discourse in Muslim communities when we talk about suicide? We talk about the impermissibility. I think that's very, very clear. We pluck a few verses from the Quran where it's clearly stated that we can't kill ourselves. But what's missing in the discourse? Right. So suicide, as well as this mental illness or the state of psychosis or losing our abilities to judge between right and wrong, good and bad, etc. There are gradations of it. And I think that's where it starts to get complicated. So for example, there is a Hadith where the Prophet, salallahu alaihi wasalam, talks about how the pen is lifted off the record in three situations, right? Perhaps everybody knows this Hadith. The first being someone who's sleeping until they wake up, a child until they grow up. And the third is of a person who is in a state of insanity until they regain their sanity or their consciousness. And so when we say record, we're saying the record of your deeds, right? Of your deeds, exactly. So they're not held accountable for what they do in those states until they come out of those states. Does that make sense?
So the three instances, because like, first time I hear this Hadith, frankly, so one of them is a child as they, okay, yep, the sleeper, the sleeper until they wake, the child until they reach the age of maturity. And the third being a person who's in the state of insanity until they regain consciousness or regain their sanity. And so a lot of Fuqaha have, you know, worked on this Hadith and use it as the basis of many rulings. So for example, Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, talks about how, so that means that a person who is in a state of insanity should be then treated as a child. As in so whatever their parents were, right, going back to the Hadith, whatever their parents were, their mother and their father, if they were Muslim, then they will be resurrected and they will be counted among the Muslims on the day of judgment. So similar. And then Ibn Hazm, who was one of the great jurists of Al-Andalus, he was born in the fourth century after Hijra. And he also worked on that. And so quote, let me just quote this. So for as for the insane who have no mental faculties until they die, they are born as Hanif or monotheists and they do not change their faith. So they die as believers and they will go to paradise. They will go to Jannah. So that means that if a person within a state of insanity takes their own life by suicide, right, they die by suicide, they will be counted as a Hanif, as a monotheist, they will be counted as what their mother and father's faith was. And they are not accountable for what they do in that state. Because the thing is, you know, when you're in that state of severe psychosis, and we're going to use that as the most simple way to explain insanity, because Drunoon or insanity madness, it's difficult, it's complicated, right? Again, there are gradations or levels of insanity versus insanity.
How much you have lost your ability to discern reality, etc. Right. So but let's let's look at severe psychosis. In that state, you are not in the driver's seat anymore. Allah is so merciful. He is such a merciful Lord that he would never hold you to account for what you are not responsible for. Right. So SubhanAllah. And I want to present this, you know, with that intention of, you know, a lot of the reasons, a lot of the sources of doubt that a lot of Muslims often have, or have to do with this, how people or vulnerable people may be treated or be perceived as being treated by the Muslim community, right? There's that great pathways to doubt, Yakeen put out a great article and Double Take is all about dismantling those sources of doubt, right? And so ostensibly from the outside, a person could whoever, maybe you're working within those circles of mental illness, or maybe you have mental illness within your family. And you think, well, that doesn't make sense. This person isn't there. They're not in the driver's seat. They don't have that mental faculty. So then why, if they do die by suicide in that state, why would they be held to account for that? And so I want to just present this sort of the beautiful nuance and the complexity of our faith, that Allah would never hold you to account for that which you cannot be held responsible for. You know, for me, when I read that, when I studied that, I found that mercy staggering. And so I wanted to share that. Thank you so much. Would you say that that's kind of the majority of the pathways to suicide? Based on your research? Is that like the biggest chunk? No, it's not. So suicide is just so complicated. No, psychosis is very rare. I'm trying to understand it. I'm very new to this. You're right. It's a great question.
There are so many different reasons why a person would commit suicide. It could be related to substance use, it could be they're experiencing difficulties within their home, maybe they're facing a really difficult terminal illness, and they don't want to deal with that suffering anymore. So cases of euthanasia or someone wanting to end their life. And so again, there are degrees of volition. But in particular, when we're talking about severe psychosis, cases of schizophrenia or bipolar one disorder, where a person has full out psychosis, they are experiencing hallucinations, they're hearing voices, seeing things that are not there, experiencing really strong and extreme delusions that are telling them things like, you know, if you stand on those train tracks, you will achieve enlightenment or you will see God, you know, all kinds of things, right? So they are not able to reason they're not able to discern between right and wrong. And so I'm taking that as the most simplistic or the best sort of case of insanity in these in these cases. But yeah, there are so many different reasons why a person Yeah, no, fair enough. And I understand where you're coming from, like us on the sidelines, we're very, very quick to judge and we throw everyone who passes away from suicide into the same kind of bucket that they that they passed away from suicide. But there is, there are different pathways. I think one of the signs of the day of judgment is someone who is so overwhelmed by debt, that he goes to the graveyard and wishes that he was in the place of the person that's in the grave. There are different instances and Maryam alayhi salam, as you mentioned before, that she was so overwhelmed, single mother, that she, she had those those thoughts. So yes, there are different kind of pathways.
As a community, when someone passes from suicide, there is confusion, you know, people, you hear certain parts of the community saying we were not supposed to pray on that person. Like do you say Allah yurham? Like you don't know what to do. So based on your research, and based on your research of Islam's position on suicide, and knowing all the nuances, or much of the nuances around this topic, what is the correct way for a community to respond? That's a great question, brother Mohammed, and you really touched on that idea that, you know, from the outside, when a person dies from suicide, we have no idea what actually really happened. We don't know the circumstances, the reasons for it, if they were really in a state of insanity or not, right? We don't know from the outside. And so just looking at sort of their body of evidence and what Islam says, many, many scholars and schools of thought say that we, they have the person, a Muslim who dies in a state of suicide, who needs to be washed, it is a right upon us as the Muslim community to wash them for their burial, to pray janazah over them, and to make dua for them as well. And so there are accounts where there was a person who had died from suicide, and the Prophet ﷺ excused himself from praying the janazah, from leading the janazah for that particular person. And so the, the, our scholars have taken that instance to say, not that it means that that person is condemned or anything of that nature, but rather that because the Prophet ﷺ was the leader of the community, he didn't want to take that position.
Again to not, to not to, you know, you don't want, I guess, in a way that, to uphold, sorry, the impermissibility of taking your own life. Fair enough. It's a discouraged, it's a discouraged suicide, more than, more than to condemn that. Yeah, fair enough. Exactly. And so, I mean, and the thing is, it's such a controversial topic. Whenever we bring up suicide at a conference, we bring up suicide at a conference, and we bring up suicide at a conference or anything, when we quote these hadith or instances from the Qur'an, anytime you say something like that, someone will protest, someone, it will cause division, it will cause disunity. And one of, of course, one of the things that we try very hard within our faith is to discourage that type of disunity. And, and so again, it makes sense for, not for the leader of the community to lead the janazah, but, and the scholars have said, you know, to just quietly excuse yourself. Nobody should know, nobody should know that you're not leading the janazah just to ask someone else to lead it. But for the rest of us who are not imams, who are not community leaders, we pray the janazah and we, and we make du'a for that person as well. Again, just from an account from the seerah, this is recorded in Sahih Muslim, there was a man who had performed the migration, so performed the hijrah with the Prophet ﷺ. But when he came to Medina, you know, the climate, everything just didn't suit him. And so he became very, very sick, very ill, and he just couldn't take it anymore. So he actually died by suicide. And so one of his friends saw that his friend in a dream, and he asked him, you know, how, how are you? How has your Lord treated you? And the man said that, you know, Allah ﷻ forgave me because I performed the hijrah with the Prophet ﷺ. And then he noticed that his hands were actually covered. And he asked him about that. And he said that, but Allah, you know, did not restore my hands because he'd actually, you know, cut his hands to take his own life.
And so when that Sahaba then went to the Prophet ﷺ and relayed this dream that he'd had, the Prophet ﷺ, you know, said just so beautifully, so beautifully, he, what do you think he did? He actually made dua for that man. He said, may Allah forgive his hands as well. And so should we pray or make dua for the person who has died by suicide? Yes, it's actually from the Sunnah, it's from the example of our beloved Prophet ﷺ. It's so beautiful. Dr. Farah, JazakAllah Khair. And I think the nuance is really, really crucial. You spoke about psychosis, and you spoke about that being one path to suicide. There are other paths, like someone who is struggling with a chronic disease or really, you know, having a difficult time in this life because of their health. Let's say someone is facing suicidal thoughts, and that's kind of been a continuous theme in their life for whatever weeks, years. The fact that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has made it impermissible, is this supposed to be a deterrent for them? Or is this going to actually tip them over the edge? The fact that, you know, their solution to their problem is to pass away from suicide. And that even then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is saying to them, it's a huge sin. It's a great question by the Muhammad and you're right, it is so complex. And it's sort of that complexity to this discourse that we're trying to bring to the forefront here. This idea of the impermissibility or the sanctioning against taking life is absolutely there. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wants us to preserve and to, you know, to honor the life that he's given us.
But we bring up this idea of, you know, that there are different circumstances and Allah's profound mercy, because, you know, the person who is in that deep struggle, maybe they are thinking about suicide. I hope inshallah that when they think of Allah's mercy, that will help to propel them to actually seek care for them to not despair, to not lose hope in the, you know, the generosity and the mercy of Allah and Allah's forgiveness. And because the thing is, oftentimes we are propelled to do things that, you know, we deeply regret or that we would never do when we feel outside of Allah's love, when we feel outside of people's love, our family's love, our own love. But, you know, on a very deep level, when we feel disconnected from the love of our Lord. And that's what I would never want anyone to feel in that place. So I bring up the complexity to show Allah's profound mercy. And I hope inshallah that propels us if we're ever in those struggles, may Allah, you know, protect us from that. But if we're ever facing those mental health struggles, we remember Allah's mercy and we seek help. And so you're saying that Allah's mercy is through this help that is around us, our friends and family and professionals. Much of your work has been about the barriers to that mental health care. What are those barriers, especially in Muslim communities? Like what's stopping someone from gaining that care and from, you know, making that ultimate decision of taking their life? Yeah, excellent question. I often find that the barriers are of two folds or on two camps. So there are barriers at the level of the mental health system where we just don't have mental health care models that honor, you know, Muslim ways of life.
Muslim conceptions of mental illness are sort of ideas of what mental health care can be and allow people to feel comfortable to seek mental health care. So that's part of it. So at the mental health system level. And then there are also barriers that exist at our community or individual level where mental health stigma and all these sorts of different misconceptions, different ideas we have, you know, this idea, you know, Muslims don't have depression or you can't seek help for mental health care or you can't seek help for mental health struggles. That's the Qadr of Allah. You deal with it or that's Allah's punishment on you. That's weakness in your faith. You are, you know, possessed with a jinn. You know, we literally demonize people for having an illness or facing struggle rather than helping them to seek care. We don't facilitate that pathway in that process for them. So, the solutions have to kind of be twofold where the mental health system needs to develop models of mental health care there are actually, you know, that actually honor our ways of seeing the world, our world views, you know, bring spirituality, bring religiosity and faith into mental health care because that's one of our greatest sources of strength, you know, as believers. And that's such an important part of our recovery. And then on the other hand, on the flip side, as a community, we have to work harder to have those difficult conversations and to not judge each other and to remember again the profound mercy of Allah. We don't know what a person is struggling with on the outside and to continue to make dua for each other and to really be a united ummah on this front. And I feel and correct me if I'm wrong, Dr. Farah, that there is a wave of Muslim professionals in this space and that this tide is turning, that people are becoming more aware of mental health issues and mental health care.
Like, you know, a psychologist would have been just a few and far between in the Muslim community, but I feel like now, not only are there, you know, psychologists, psychotherapists, but there are also educational institutions that focus purely on the awareness of mental illness and mental care. So, have you seen in your research that the tide is turning? Alhamdulillah, I feel like we're at the most exciting time for Muslim mental health in terms of, you know, Khalil Center, you know, actual Muslim mental health centers opening up, you know, whether it's the US or Canada or around the world. Yeah, Islamic psychotherapy. There are just so many avenues and so many opportunities right now that is opening the doors. But again, I think when it comes to the mental health stigma piece of it, there is more that we need to talk about within our masjids, within our homes to really be able to facilitate those pathways to care, inshallah. So, I guess to summarize and finalize this episode, I do want to double down on some of the practicalities that I can have in my life and my family can have in their life. What is our responsibility if someone is struggling with mental health? How do we, I guess, support them? How do we support ourselves? Like, what are the key things that we need to do to make sure that suicide isn't prevalent in our communities? I think a lot of it has to do with this idea of starting young. You know, there's this idea that we need to, as parents or as educators, we need to offer ways or spaces for our young people to grow up with a language or vocabulary for emotional health.
You know, I don't know about you, Brother Mohamed, but I certainly didn't grow up that way, right? That wasn't role modeled for us. But if we grow up seeing examples of, you know, our parents, maybe they're facing difficulties in their marriage and they, in a very transparent and a very honest way, they recognize that rather than hiding it away and they seek help, they go to a marriage counselor and they model that for, particularly for their older children, for them to see that, that openness to seeking care, that speaks volumes and is extremely powerful. A lot of it has to do with how we check in on each other. You know, if anyone of your loved ones, any one of your friends is maybe, you know, maybe they just gave birth or they're going through a difficult divorce, they were in an accident, whatever, or they lost their job. All these sorts of difficulties that are hardships are just part and parcel part of our lives. At those critical moments in particular, we check in and we continue to check in in a really intentional way, if this makes sense. It's not just, hey, I'm here for you. If you need me, just call me. It's more like when you know one of your friends is in a difficult situation, you go into a grocery run for them, you drop off food for them, you say, hey, I'm going to come over. I'm going to, I'm coming over. I'm taking, I'm going to take care of your kids. Why don't you go out? Or you take them to do things that will refuel them, recharge them, that you know, you know, their favorite hobbies, whatever it is, but you be, we be there for each other in a very intentional way. And we find out sort of spaces for that intentional connection. Like, for example, when I'm dropping my son off at school, you know, I purposefully park a little bit far away so we have a little bit of a walk to school.
And it's in those sorts of just those little interactions that one minute, two minute walk together when he'll share something. He'll say, you know, Mama, I was thinking about this. Or, you know, Mama, I had this dream last night. And just having those intentional spaces for connection is so important. In particular, for example, you know, shoulder to shoulder. I know that sounds funny. I'm talking about, you know, what we do in prayer. But oftentimes, face to face communication can be really daunting and difficult for people to share. But when we're shoulder to shoulder, for example, like when you're driving someone or they're beside you or they're in the backseat. Those kinds of conversations that don't feel so intimidating are really great spaces for people to open up and to be vulnerable. And I really say this for one of the best ways for, you know, the people around us, our loved ones to be able to share their struggles and their pain is for us to be vulnerable with our struggles and our pain. We share our stories and not to be afraid. And it requires bravery and it requires courage. I was at a halaqa the other day and I kind of just mentioned in passing a struggle that I'd gone through within my family. And later when I was backing my car out of the driveway, very badly, mind you, because it was dark. One of the sisters actually came out and she was in tears and she took my arm while I was trying to back out. Probably wasn't even in park. But anyway, she told me that she was also facing a similar situation at that moment. And because I had shared it, she let go and she unburdened. And so, so much of being a part of our community, you know, taking care of our flock, you know, as our prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam, you know, instructed us to do is so much about being vulnerable
and being courageous in what we share. You know, Abu Huraira radiallahu anhu has a great story or a great account where he was facing, you know, extreme starvation and you know he tied a rock to his stomach and, you know, he was just waiting and hoping someone would come by and offer him some food. And because he felt embarrassed to ask, and we all feel embarrassed to ask, you know, for, for anything. And so he, he, Abu Bakr radiallahu anhu, Umar radiallahu anhu, they came by and he asked them, Abu Huraira asked them for some, you know, for some instructions, some wisdom on a particular verse of the Quran, but then they walked away. They didn't realize Abu Huraira was in this state. But then when the prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam walked by, Abu Huraira didn't even have to open his mouth, he didn't even have to ask about that verse of the Quran. Our prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam saw that in his face, he saw his hunger, he saw his hardship. And so, and he just invited him into his home, gave him some food. Our prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam, you know, listened for the silence between the words, he listened for what was unsaid. That's what made him such a beautiful leader and that is the extraordinary example we have to follow. And that's what we need to do as people to really be there for each other and to prevent, you know, cases of suicide, to prevent those mental health struggles in the people that we love and we cherish every day of our lives. So inshallah. No, thank you. Thank you, Dr. Farah. Honestly, that was actually inspiring and it's, it's caused me to think about what more I can do for others. I do want to ask, however, how about if I'm on the receiving end, and no one's knocking on my door, and no one is kind of reaching out and asking me how I am or dropping off the groceries. What if I feel alone? Like, what am I supposed to do in that instance in general?
Excellent question. You're right. You know, ultimately, subhanAllah, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is always there for us, but will people always be there for us? That's not necessarily the case. And you're right. I want you to remind yourself always that you are not alone because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, in his profound mercy is always there for you. You know, you take a step towards him, he will come running towards you. And if you don't have people within your circle, maybe you can't turn to your family, maybe they are sources of stress and grief in your life, whatever it may be. I want you to know that there are places where you can seek help. There are call lines, you know, for example, we have the Nisaa Helpline, the Muslim Women's Helpline, you can call in, talk to someone, a peer counselor. There is the Naseeha Muslim Youth Helpline, where again, you can, as a young person, can call in and talk to another young person who may be facing similar struggles and have that peer to peer support. And then there are incredible services in terms of Islamic psychotherapy and great therapists to really go out there and to get help. And I'll share this story as well, again, because we have to be vulnerable and be brave in sharing our stories. I went through a very difficult period of grief during the COVID time just because of something that had happened. And I could not get out of it, if this makes sense, you know, just tears and tears. I think honestly, all those tears, you know, even aged me when I look in the mirror now, that period of grief was deep and intense. And so I went to seek help from a wonderful Muslim psychotherapist. And the thing is, you know, that mental health recovery, when it's coupled with a spiritual journey, as it can be when you take Islamic psychotherapy, it just changes your life.
I don't know how to explain that better. But, you know, you just don't feel alone, because there are resources, alhamdulillah, that we do have available. And I know it's difficult and I know it's scary to try to go and to seek help. And you may have to go through different therapists or different avenues or resources until you find the best fit. But alhamdulillah, it's out there, you know, Allah SWT, for example, sorry, there's a hadith where our Prophet ﷺ, you know, reminds us that for every illness, Allah has created a cure. So go and seek treatment, go and seek treatment, seek help. If that's what you need to get yourself out of this difficulty, absolutely seek it. Dr. Farah, your work is phenomenal. And thank you so much for lifting the burden on the community by focusing on this topic. You're doing something that, you know, many people have struggled to do in the past, and that is to really focus on Muslims' mental health. I appreciate your time today, and we're not going to let you get away that quick, if you don't mind. And we're going to ask you some rapid fire questions. And hopefully these are a source of inspiration and not stress in your life. Alhamdulillah, barakallah, just a little bit, let's go for it. Okay, question number one. Who is your favorite reciter of the Quran? I'm going to share my son's favorite reciter, who is Sheikh Mushari Al-Afasi. He 100% believes he recites just like him and wants to one day, inshallah, grow up to be a Qari like him. I love the confidence, mashaAllah. MashaAllah, excellent. What's the last book that you were reading? Made by Stephanie Land, which was eye-opening about what happens in terms of poverty in America. So extremely interesting.
In 20 seconds or less, what was she, what's her kind of, what's the gist of the book? She is a struggling single mother who has left an abusive family, has had to go through homelessness, etc. And she just talks about how she works as a maid, and how that, just her struggle in having to lift herself out of poverty. It's inspirational, inshallah. JazakAllah khair. Your dream breakfast, if I was to put anything on the table, what would it be? My husband's going to laugh at me, I'm going to say such a mom thing, but I'm going to say a quiet breakfast, a breakfast in silence. I don't even care about the food. Just has to be quiet. It's not running around. Something outside, maybe a picnic, hamdallah, I'm happy. And if you were to have dinner with one person who's passed away, who would it be? And it can't be the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam. It would be Maryam Ani As-Salam. Just an inspirational, incredible, powerful woman, and I would love to know what her life was, subhanAllah. And one positive memory from your work at Nisaa Homes. So, Nisaa Homes... We actually did a little maternal and child health kind of program where we were doing Quran story time, but through Zoom because it was COVID. And so I did that with my son, and it was just so exciting to put on a show together. You know, we acted out different, I guess, theatrical storytelling, if you will, of beautiful stories from the Quran. It's just a lovely, special moment to share with them. And finally, Dr. Farah, if there was one major misunderstanding about Muslim mental health or mental health in Muslim communities that you want to dispel, and that in your lifetime, want to make history, what would be that misunderstanding?
Big question. I think it would be along the lines of, if you are facing mental health struggles or severe or difficult mental illness, I never, ever, ever want you to feel outside of Allah's love. Allah's mercy is profound, that He would never put you through a test that you could not go through, that you didn't have resources to be able to access. And that mental illness, a person can be a hafidh of the Quran, can be praying five times a day, more than that, praying tahajjud. It doesn't matter. Mental illness can impact or hit any of us. And we can never judge someone from the outside, not knowing what their struggles are. You know, all of us, you know, fight an incredible struggle every single day of our lives. I would not suffer, I would not survive the hardships that you have faced, Brother Mohammed, or anybody who's watching this, and you would not survive mine. So let's be kind to each other. Let's appreciate or understand those incredible struggles that we all face and remember Allah's mercy through it all. Dr. Farah, you're now part of the Psycho-Spiritual Department at Yaqeen Institute. Honestly, very excited to see the progress and the outcomes of your work. Thank you so much for your time today. BarakAllahu Fikum, Brother Mohammed. Wonderful conversation, really appreciate it. Allah Fakir.
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