Why Me
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Will I Ever Find True Love? | Why Me?
A lot of us grow up with fairy tales about magical encounters, butterflies, perfect fantasies, and happy endings. But is there such a thing as true love and soulmates in Islam? What does Islam say about love? The Seerah is full of stories about marriage and love that are timelessly relatable, and speak of all types of fates. Because just like rizq, romantic love is also decreed by Allah, and what Al-Wadud writes for you of love is more perfect for you than anything you could ever desire.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Is there such a thing as love at first sight? What about true love? A lot of us grow up reading fairy tales with magical encounters and happy endings. But are those things written to come true for you in this life? And if you don't find that relationship here, what does that say about your divine decree? Is there such a thing as soulmates in Islam? Remember that hadith of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam where he said that souls are like conscripted soldiers. There's actually a really beautiful story behind it. A'ishah radiAllahu ta'ala says that there was this woman in Mecca that used to make everybody laugh. So she was the jokester of every gathering. And then when they made hijrah from Mecca to Medina, she meets a woman in Medina that's exactly like her that makes everybody laugh in Medina. And the people were stunned at how similar they were. And when they mentioned that to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam, he said souls are like conscripted soldiers. They incline towards one another based upon this natural affinity. So is there a romantic manifestation of that? Well, there's a scholar that said to his wife once that isn't it amazing that 50,000 years before Allah introduced the heavens and the earth, he put your name down next to mine. And of his signs is that he created for you mates from amongst yourselves that you can dwell with
in tranquility. And he placed love and mercy between you. And in that is a sign for people who reflect. And when you meet someone, you can be so sure that that's the one. And there are multiple ways that love starts and multiple layers to love. And it can certainly start with what seems like an organic spark. Imam al-Hazm said that love starts off as something very playful, and then it proceeds to something very serious. He goes on to say that its meanings are too profound to be described. Its reality can only be understood by experience. And he says love is not blameworthy in our religion, nor is it forbidden because every heart is in Allah's hands. So love itself is a test. And it's not fully in your control, especially the falling in love part. It's something that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala decrees in your heart. And as long as you don't transgress the boundaries and you pursue it in a wholesome and halal way, then you can enjoy the blessing of this decree within the sanctity of marriage. Indeed in that are signs for people who reflect. And the scholars mentioned that there are signs of Allah's names and attributes that don't exist anywhere in this world, like they do between two spouses. There are unique signs of Allah's love as He is al-Wadud, the most loving, and unique signs of Allah's rahma, His mercy, as He is ar-Rahman that exist within the capacity of a marriage. Now, when you look at the seerah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
you have multiple love stories. Some of them are beautiful. Others are tragic, and many of them are complicated. You have the story of Muhajir Umm Qais, this man who makes hijrah from Mecca to Medina, not out of seeking Allah's love or trying to escape persecution, but all because he wanted to marry a woman. And that literally becomes his name, the man who migrated for Umm Qais. Now you'll notice that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam doesn't condemn him for that, but he simply says that you can't claim the reward of hijrah if you did this for marriage. And then you have other stories. You have the story of Barira radiAllahu ta'ala Anha, a woman that was freed from slavery by Aisha radiAllahu anha. And when she was freed from slavery, she chose to free herself from her husband who was Mughith radiAllahu anha. And in Medina, you had the scene of Mughith going behind Barira, begging her not to leave him. And it was painful for people to watch, to the point that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, in his mercy, feels so sorry for Mughith. And he says to his uncle al-Abbas, isn't it astonishing how much Mughith loves her and how much Barira hates him? And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam felt so bad for him that he goes to Barira and says, will you not take him back? And she said, Ya Rasulullah, are you commanding me to do so or are you simply interceding? And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, no, I'm just interceding. And she says, I have no need for him, Ya Rasulullah. Now the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had so much sympathy for Mughith, but he didn't want to force them together just because Mughith really loved her. He was going through heartbreak and the solution was simply for him to move on because they weren't meant to be. As much as love is based on your desire, it's also based on your destiny. Your love story was written by Allah in the heavens before you both even came to this world.
Allah created your love and created the means for your love. And Imam Ibn Hazm Rahimahullah outlines over 15 reasons why people fall in love. He talks about physical beauty and temperaments and character and wealth and family and all sorts of things. But then he says, the most noble love is mahabbatil mutahabeena fil laa love for the sake of Allah. And he specifically says that it could be lijtihadin fil amal because of a similar passion for righteous work that two people are both engaged in. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, lam nara lil mutahabeena mithla nikaah that I know nothing better for two people that love each other than to get married. And he also said people get married for various reasons but look for religion and character. Those are the intangible forms of beauty that will keep a couple together for all of eternity. Now that doesn't mean that other factors aren't important and in fact, even part of love but they can't form the foundation of it. Al-Mughir Ibn Shu'ba radiAllahu anhu said, I asked a woman in marriage and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to me, hal nazarta ilayha did you go look at her? And when I said I had not, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, fanzur ilayha fa innahu ahraa an yu'dama bainakuma then go look at her because it is better that there should be love between you. But with all of that being said, two people can seem like a perfect fit and can have all the same passions and want to do everything right. But for some reason Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la just didn't want it to happen in this dunya. And being attached to a person or the idea of a person or the idea of a person can be incredibly intoxicating or debilitating. Romance is just like rizq,
it's not something everyone is going to have in this dunya. And we are to be content with what Allah has decreed, even if that means I have to wait for my spouse in Jannah where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, laysa fil jannahti a'zat no one is going to be single in Jannah. But if it hasn't been decreed for you in this dunya, that doesn't make your worth any less. Asiya alayhi as-salam, a perfect woman, was married to the worst human being that ever walked the face of the earth, Fir'aun. Maryam alayhi as-salam, the greatest woman of her time and all time, never even got married. And there are many scholars in our ummah, the forerunners of our ummah, who never got married. And they use their time and their focus to become the legends of their time. In fact, the late Abdul Fattah Abu Ghuddah rahimahullah wrote this amazing book called al-'ulamaa al-'uzzaab allatheena aatharu al-'ilm ala az-zawaj The scholars who were single that preferred their knowledge to marriage. And he lists 20 scholars in Islamic history who never got married. The likes of Imam al-Tabari rahimahullah, Imam al-Nawawi rahimahullah, Ibn Taymiyyah, Az-Zamakhshari, or even the famous Rabia al-Adawiyya. May Allah be pleased with them all. Now these scholars were not avoiding marriage, but they understood that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala did not decree that for them. And many scholars said that the reason why they were able to achieve what they achieve is perhaps because they didn't have those families. And instead they left behind their books as their children. And look what happened. All of their students became their kin through the sacred chain of knowledge. Now that doesn't mean it's either knowledge or marriage, or it's either worship or marriage, or it's either charity or marriage, or it's either volunteering or marriage. That means that just like other forms of rizq, if Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has delayed it or denied it, it still opens you up to other forms of pleasing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and other chapters to your amazing story of divine decree. And it might be that that soulmate
is still out there in this world. At one moment, Abu Huraira radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu couldn't get married due to his poverty. And he comes to the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasalam complaining. And the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasalam was silent as he repeated his complaint three times. Then the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasalam said, Ya Abu Huraira, Jaffa alqalamu bima antalaq Oh Abu Huraira, the pen has dried with what you are going to find. And eventually Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala opened that path for Abu Huraira years later, but on his time. So when is our time? Only Allah knows. You know, subhanAllah, some of the narrations mentioned that Isa alayhi wasalam, Jesus peace be upon him, will get married after he descends again to this earth. So it would have taken him thousands of years to have his soulmate in this life. Where is yours? Here or there? You don't know, but just know that al-Wadud hasn't forgotten you. al-Lateef is subtle and has a sight on your perfect match. man thanna infikaaka lutfihi AAan qadarihi fathalika liqsoori nazarihi Whoever supposes that his loving kindness is separate from his ordaining decree does so out of his own shortsightedness. Sometimes we don't make it any easier on ourselves. We let our minds fantasize and imagine a life that may or may not come true. But we start to build an emotional connection to this idea in our head. And having our minds filled with endless fantasies can only make us fall that much harder when our actual qadar reveals itself to us in a way we didn't wish. Things don't always work out the way that we imagined for ourselves. Our heart could long for something or someone that wasn't meant for us.
And they were meant to still be a part of your story, but perhaps not in the way you'd hoped. Allah has more for you. Store it up in a future that you haven't yet even anticipated. Say, There will not be any harm to us except that which Allah has decreed for us. He is our protector. And upon Allah let the believers put their trust.
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