Why Me
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How Can I Accept That I'm Dying? | Why Me?
You may not have a terminal illness, but death is always near. The details of when and where and how your life will end are up to Allah. Your role is to build your roster of good deeds, so that when your time comes, the angels will inspect you and find feet that stood in qiyam, a heart full of taqwa, and a mind full of Qur'an.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. If you were to just find out now, when exactly you were going to die, how would you react? Are you alarmed? Fearful? Angry? Reminders of death come to you throughout your life. The death of your loved ones. Tragic deaths. Sudden deaths. Young deaths. We hear the announcements and witness the janazahs. And then you have near-death experiences. Your hair turning gray. All the joy of people coming into the world, only then followed by their seemingly untimely exit. And all around us we constantly witness the death and rebirth of nature all the time. وَكَأَيِّمْ مِّنْ آيَةٍ فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ يَمُرُّونَ عَلَيْهَا وَهُمْ عَنْهَا مُعْرِضُونَ How many signs in the heavens and earth do they pass while they continue to turn away? And then the ultimate sign comes down that cannot be ignored. You're told that you only have a few months to live. You've stored so much in your heart. And now you await the day that its secrets will be divulged.
A few years ago I had a dream where everybody knew exactly when they were going to die. And the graveyard became like an airport. Everybody knew that they had to go to their grave at a set time and they could take with them only one suitcase. And so in that dream I'm taking someone with me to the graveyard and I'm trying to comfort them as they're getting ready to go to their new destination. And I want you to imagine if that was the way that we lived our lives. Every single one of us had a clock and we knew that once that clock expires we get dropped off there and we take with us just that one suitcase. But with our good deeds. You have a terminal illness. It's not called cancer. It's actually called life. And in one narration the Prophet ﷺ said, بَادِرُ بِالْأَعْمَالِ سَبْعًا Hasten to do good deeds before you are overtaken by one of seven trials. He said, فَقْرًا مُنْسِيًا أَوْ غِنًا مُطْغِيًا Poverty which causes you to forget your worship. Or prosperity which corrupts you. أَوْ مَرْضًا مُفْسِدًا أَوْ هَرَمًا مُفَنِّدًا Disease that disables you. Or becoming senile in a way that renders you mentally incapable. Then he said, أَوْ مَوْتًا مُجْهِزًا أَوْ الدَّجَّال Or sudden death or a dajjal. And then he finally said, أَوْ السَّاعَةَ فَالسَّاعَةُ أَدْهَى وَأَمَرًا Or the hour and how tragic and bitter is the hour.
And the Prophet ﷺ used to seek refuge in Allah from sudden death in multiple ways. موت الفجاء Even though if that's what comes to you, it's also good. Just as the case of the Shaheed, the martyr who sees his place in paradise no later than the first strike. But if Allah has given you a diagnosis where you're told that you're on your way out. Or Allah gifts you to start to feel like your time is coming. Without anyone in this world even telling you. It gives your family a chance to say sorry. Or goodbye. And it gives you a chance to say the same. And it gives you all a chance to turn back to Allah. And to beg him for his mercy and guidance. You have a chance to reflect on all the moments when you didn't properly thank him. And now you can say Alhamdulillah. The blessings you may have taken for granted. The sins you haven't yet repented for. The good deeds that you can still do and the good deeds you've done and hope Allah accepts. If Allah gave you a long enough life, surely there are things in front of you that make you proud. Even as some things in the past continue to make you ashamed. Or if what's ahead makes you nervous. How merciful is Allah that he gave you all those blessings and chances despite your shortcomings. فسبح بحمد ربك واستغفر So declare the perfection of your Lord and seek forgiveness for your own imperfections.
This was the last command Allah gave to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam after his unparalleled life of good. So what then of your last days? And when they inspect your body for disease, inspect your body instead for its deeds. Abu Bakr radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu was narrated to have said, When death comes to a man, an angel is told, شم رأسه Inspect his head. And the angel goes to his head and inspects it and says, أجد في رأسه القرآن I find the Quran in his head. And then the angel is told, inspect his heart. So the angel goes and inspects his heart and says, أجد في قلبه الصيام I find in his heart fasting. And then the angel is told, now inspect his feet. And the angel comes back and says, أجد في قدميه القيام I find in his feet standing in Qiyam. And so then it is said, حفظ نفسه حفظه الله This man protected himself, so surely Allah will protect him. And you hope that Allah finds you grateful as these blessings start to fleet away. Khalaf Ibn Ismail once spoke about a person who had leprosy in all of his limbs and most of his body. And he said, by your glory, O Allah, if poisonous insects had taken hold of my body and you shredded me to pieces like torn threads, I would only increase by your permission in patience. And I would only hold by your mercy to nothing but contentment, nothing but rida. But what about those after me? Who's going to take care of them? When Umar Ibn Abdul Aziz Rahimahullah was passing away, he had 11 kids with each of them inheriting only 19 dirhams each, 19 small coins. And so one of his advisors was worried and he called him and he said, يا أمير المؤمنين, we've got to do something about your kids.
And Umar responds and he says, إما أن يكونوا صالحين فالله يتولى الصالحين Look, if they are righteous, then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala takes care of the righteous. And if they're not from the righteous, then I don't want to give them what they will then use to disobey Allah with. And Allah asks me on the day of judgment, why I assisted them in disobedience. كيف يشرق قلب صور الأكوان منطبعة في مرآته أم كيف يرحل إلى الله وهو مكبل بشهواته أم كيف يطمع أن يدخل حضرة الله وهو لم يتطهر من جنابة غفلاته أم كيف يرجو أن يفهم دقائق الأسرار وهو لم يتب من هفواته How can the heart be illuminated while the mere forms of creatures are reflected in its mirror? How can it journey to Allah while it's shackled by its passions? How can it desire to enter the presence of Allah while it has not yet purified itself of the stain of forgetfulness? How can it understand the subtle secrets in front of it while it has not yet repented of its obvious offenses? When Allah sent Adam to the earth, he said فَمَن تَبِعَ هُدَايَ فَلَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ So whoever follows my guidance shall not fear nor grieve. Likewise, when the angels take your soul from this earth, they say to you if you were righteous أَلَّا تَخَافُ وَلَا تَحْزَنُ Do not fear and do not grieve. The scholars mention that do not fear means do not fear what is to come and do not grieve means do not grieve over what you are leaving behind. Death is not only hard on the loved ones when they think of who they are losing but it's also hard on the one who is dying when he thinks of who will take care of his loved ones once he's gone.
You might think about the loneliness of your spouse or the finances of your household or you might worry about what is to become of those children. رَبَّنَا هَبْلَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنَ وَجَعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا Our Lord grant us in our spouses and offspring the coolness of our eyes and make them leaders of the pious. The coolness of your eyes is in seeing them in a state of worshipping Allah. But whether you have children or not, the true coolness of your eyes is in what Allah is about to show you that no eye has ever seen and no imagination has ever grasped. No harm will befall us except what Allah has decreed for us. He is our Protector. So let the believers put their trust in Allah. Al Fatiha.
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