Late Night Talk
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The Patience of Jinn and Humans | Late Night Talk
A discussion on the patience of Jinn and humans.
Join Dr. Omar Suleiman and Sh. Yaser Birjas every night during the last 10 nights of Ramadan as they reflect on lessons and gems from Ibn Al-Qayyim’s The Excellence of Patience and Gratitude.
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Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. And then you have the jinn, which are like us in that they are called to spiritually restrain themselves, but they have the capacity of being satanic, and in fact they were a failed experiment amongst themselves. Not Allah failed them, they failed themselves because the corrupt jinn, who did they prey upon, by the way? The righteous jinn, because they have jinn that are salih as well. So the corrupt jinn were tyrannical towards the righteous jinn, and they filled this earth with corruption. And so Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala took away the khilafah from them. And then now you have the human beings turn, and you have the angels that are watching this, and he talks about, well, what's the difference between us and the angels? And subhanAllah, I want you to actually marvel at this for a moment, inshaAllah ta'ala, as we're in the last ten nights of Ramadan. Every single ayah, every single hadith, where the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam mentions to us, Allah calling the angels to witness human beings is witnessing them in the capacity of their sabr, is witnessing them in the capacity of their patience. Imma ala shahwa imma ala albala, either when it comes to their desires or when it comes to trial and tribulation. So when it comes to their desires, when you wake up and pray, the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Allah laughs at this person, and he calls the jinn, look at this person, leaving the comfort of their bed, giving up their sleep, leaving a companion, leaving the coolness, the warmth of the bed, the warmth of that companion, whatever it may be, and then going and making wudu in these harsh circumstances. By the way, those taps, hot water and cold water taps, don't exist everywhere in the world even today, right? SubhanAllah, look at this person getting up and basically torturing themselves, right? To do wudu in the middle of the night, right? Despite the temperature of the water, leaving the coolness and comfort of their bed. Ya malaika, O angels, look at this person, look at this person.
Look at this person, O malaika, O angels, who chose a gathering of khair instead of a gathering of wasting themselves away. Look at this person, O angels, who came out to the day of Arafah covered in dust and disheveled. Look at this person, O malaika, who just lost a child and still is saying, inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon wa alhamdulillah. Look at this person, O angels. And the angels love this person and they shower praise on this person because this is where the human beings shine. When you choose sabr, when you choose patience, Allah says, Ya malaika, look, look at them, and the angels love you and they honour you because they don't have envy towards you the way that the jinn and the shayateen or some other human beings might. So I'll just mention one statement here. Qala Qatada, rahimuhullah ta'ala, khalaqa allahu subhana, al malaika aqoolan bila shahawat, wa khalaqa al baha'im shahawatin bila aqool, wa khalaqa al insana wa ja'ala lahu aqlan wa shahwa. Faman ghalaba aqluhu shahwatahu, fahuwa ma'al malaika. Waman ghalaba shahwatuhu aqlahu, fahuwa kal baha'im. He says, Qatada, rahimuhullah said, Allah created angels with reason, with the faculty of reason, but they don't have desires. The angels have never eaten and drink. Can you think about that for a moment? The angels have never even tasted food. Jibreel, alayhi salam, has never digested a morsel of food. Angels live to please Allah, and they are created completely independent of food and drink. That actually in and of itself is something to take a step back and go, wow. Creatures that have existed for thousands and thousands and thousands of years, and they never had to have a sip of water. And that's why when they went to visit Ibrahim, alayhi salam, and Ibrahim, alayhi salam, pushed the food towards them, they just kind of stared at him. They looked at him.
And that's where Ibrahim, alayhi salam, awjasa fee nafsihi khifa, like, what's wrong with you guys? Why are you not eating the food? These strangers just came to my house and they're not eating. Jibreel, Mika'il, they've never put food in their mouth. They've never done anything to satisfy a desire. They have the faculty of reason without shahwat. I want to make a comment on that story, actually, Shaykh. SubhanAllah, some people when they read the story, they have a different way of looking at it. One of the most interesting that I got was a question from someone. He said, Shaykh, are you saying that all this food went to waste? Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, is bringing the example of Ibrahim, alayhi salam. You know, he had these three angels come in the form of human beings to teach us about a great lesson in regard to dealing with qawmulut. And this brother, Masha, was concerned about the food that Ibrahim, alayhi salam, cooked. This is all going to waste? I said, wallahi, I wasn't there, ya akhi, to witness that. Just saying how people, subhanAllah, they think differently. Their focus is so different. It's like the man who asked Imam al-Sha'bi, rahimahullah, what's shaytan's wife's name. He said, I wasn't invited to the wedding. I don't know. I have no clue. But at the end of the day here, khalaqallahu, subhanahu wa ta'ala, al-mala'ika aqudan bila shahwat. Honestly, marvel at that for a moment. These angels only see the glory of Allah. They love the worship of Allah. This right here is their metaphorical sense, their desire. They see gatherings of khair. This is what gives them happiness. They have zero shahwa. Allah created them with no desire. What an incredible creation of Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. Then he says, wa khalaqal bahahim. Allah created the animals with shahwa bila aqud. Unlimited desires, but they don't have the faculty of reason here. They're not thinking about, you know, again, consequences, or akhira, or the hereafter, or anything of that sort, or the obedience of Allah, or the disobedience of Allah. Allah created them as an example for you.
And you look at that, right? Wa khalaqal insaan, wa ja'ala lahu aqlan wa shahwa. Then He created you. And Allah gave you some of this, and He gave you some of that. Allah gave you the faculty of reason. He gave you a aql, to think before you do. And He gave you the desire to choose whether to do regardless. So He gave you the aql, the faculty here, to think before you do, and then the desire to choose to do regardless of that. And He said, faman ghalaba aqluhu shahwata. When you choose this over that desire, then you are with the angels. And when you choose desire over this, you become an animal. And in fact, you can actually go lower than the animal and become like a devil. You can actually rise above an angel, because a person who chooses Allah s.w.t. over their desires is even better than the mala'ika as we spoke about last year, when Ibn al-Jawzi r.a. was mentioning this. If I would like to give a metaphor for people to understand the meaning of this. So when we say that if you put your reason above your desire and your instinct, what does that mean? You ascend above, you become in the level of the angels. But if you put your desires ahead of your reason, that means you go down, you descend, you go all the way down, below even the level of the animals. So what does that exactly mean? Why is it easier to go down than going up? I think we all, laws of physics, it goes with gravity. It goes with gravity. Because we've been equipped with that nature to desire, right? As part of our instinct in order for us to procreate, to survive, to feel good, to validate ourselves. All these things, we need them. All these desires, whether it's an intellectual desire or to be, for example, validated, or an emotional thing, or even a physical thing. We all have those things.
We would like to fulfill them. And they gravitate. They gravitate. So naturally, if you let go, if you let go and you follow your desires, it's going to pull you down. You go with gravity. And there is absolutely no effort on you to do that. May Allah protect us all from the fitna. But if someone sitting on their own, suddenly they see somebody walking in front of them and they're not dressed appropriately, right? Do they feel anyone is pulling their head to look at that individual, for example, that person? No. But it's natural gravitation to look at these things, maybe at least out of curiosity. So if you do that, you go with gravity. So you descend, you go down to the level of the animals. But if you use the code that we talked about, yes, I do have that desire. I do have that instinct. However, as a human being, it was codified with a code of ethic that is coming from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, like telling me, Look, I know you desire this, but I'm telling you, don't look at it. The animals don't have that. But humans do. Because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wants us to exercise this patience in that moment. What makes a person look away, look down, and not pursue that look? That iman that they have that is based on that knowledge that will help them be patient in that moment. Why? Because now I'm thinking about that delayed gratification versus the instant gratification. Animals, they go with instant gratification. Humans, they've been told, Look, delay your gratification. You have a code of ethic that I have given you to pursue that. So you're going to have to ascend above. Obviously, when you start going up, it requires a lot of energy and a lot of effort. So to simplify that, the Prophet ﷺ says, حُفَّةُ الجَنَّةُ بِالْمَكَارِهِ وَحُفَّةُ النَّورُ بِالشَّهَوَاتِ Jahannam was surrounded with what? With all the desires.
And Jannah was surrounded with all the hardships. Basically, to go to Jannah, you have to cross all the way through all these hardships to get there. It's not going to be easy. So a lot of effort. And if you want to see the example of the life of the Prophet ﷺ, Allah ﷻ told the Prophet ﷺ, فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانصَبْ This is for us to be patient and voluntarily patient that goes way and beyond. He said to him, فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانصَبْ وَإِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ فَرْغَبْ Which means when you're done giving da'wah, I mean how much da'wah the Prophet ﷺ, how much effort he put in his da'wah in Mecca. Everything, all his energy ﷺ. So after a long day of giving da'wah, what do you expect the instruction that would come to him? Get some rest, right? Take a break for the next day. Instead, Allah ﷻ told the Prophet ﷺ, فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانصَبْ When you're done giving da'wah, go ahead, stand up until you feel fatigued. What does that mean? Da'wah is da'wah for the people. Right now, work on yourself. Which means for all of us to exercise that voluntary patience right now. It's not natural to you. It is not natural to you. Because what's natural to you, you go with your desires. What is not natural is to go again voluntarily against that desire for the sake of Allah ﷻ. I cannot emphasize this point enough in regards to in order for you to be patient, you have to strengthen your iman. In order for you to strengthen your iman, you have to practice what you know. In order for you to be able to practice that, you have to expand on your knowledge. Because Allah says, إِنَّمَا يَخْشَ اللَّهَ مِنْ عِبَادِ الْعُلَمَٰةِ Those who truly fear Allah ﷻ among His servants are those who have the knowledge. Many of us today, they avoid knowledge. Sheikh, why? Because I don't want to have any hujjah against me.
Like, hey, ignorance is bliss. Well, good luck with that as an excuse before Allah ﷻ. So, you need to expand your knowledge. What does that exactly mean? This life is not for you to get rest. This life for you is to toil and work so hard. Seeking knowledge is important. We come here every night, inshallah, in the month of Ramadan. I hope that what you learn, you guys are going to expand your knowledge so you can start practicing more, so you can strengthen your iman, so you can strengthen your emotional shield so that your patience becomes, inshallah ta'ala, your way to avoid all these difficulties you go through. Sheikh, I want to give, for the note-takers, at least something that, a profound asr, profound principle that we have here from Sheikh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani, quoted in, Ibn al-Qayyim mentions this from Abdul Qadir in the seventh chapter in Futuh al-Ghaib. He says that, Imam Abdul Qadir al-Jilani says that a servant has three things. Because remember, there is acceptance and there is endurance. Acceptance and endurance. Tomorrow we'll talk about techniques of endurance. Tonight, remember these three things. Sabr requires acceptance of three things. A command that you are obligated to carry out. So Allah gave you a command. You have to know that command and you accept it. No waffling around with, you know, well this and this and that, and some scholars say this and some scholars say that, when the only scholar that says otherwise is someone that has no name on Google that you found somewhere on YouTube, whatever it is, or some TikTok, you know, that you came across, that somehow uproots, you know, al-ma'lumin al-deen darura, what is known in the religion by necessity, the ijma' of the ummah, the consensus of the scholars. None of that. No, no. Acceptance. Quran, sunnah, consensus of the scholars. This is how Islam has been understood for 1400 years. This is acceptance.
Allah has commanded me to do this. I'm not going to go rethink something because I'm unable to do it. Alright? This is extremely important for this generation because this is how ilm is lost, how knowledge is lost, because no one says anything anymore about the standard. So the standards themselves get compromised because everyone's afraid. So whatever that is in regards to our worship, in regards to our eating and drinking, in regards to our dress, in regards to our relationships, in regards to our social interactions, there is a standard here that's been upheld. It has to be accepted here by the aql. I'm not going to try to undermine this, and if I'm falling short of it, it's a weakness on my own. So he says, rahim Allah ta'ala, Shaykh Abdul Qadir, the first one is a command that you are obliged to carry out. The second one, he says, a prohibition that you are to avoid. So first you have the fard, the command that you are commanded to carry out, and then you have the haram, the prohibition that you are commanded to abstain from. So don't try to make the haram halal. Then he says, number three, and this is perhaps the hardest, a divine decree that you have to accept. Accepting the qadr of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Accepting the qadr of Allah means that I'm not going to question Allah or say anything that is displeasing to Allah in the midst of my hardship. So this is the level of acceptance. Now what you want to do is build from acceptance to endurance in each of those three things. So three things that there's acceptance, the command, the prohibition, the decree. I accept these three things from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. I have patience and acceptance. How do I build endurance? You want to go with the commands, wastadr alayha, you want to practice patience by working on those commands of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala until they no longer yield difficulty but they yield joy for you. No longer is salah a burden. Salah is a joy for you.
No longer is fasting a burden. Fasting is a joy for you. No longer is giving charity. It's a joy for you to give charity, right? You want to build to a place of joy. That's endurance. When it comes to the haram, you want to get to a point where you have war'a. You have what's known as extra caution that the scholars say. When you have, Allahumma salli wa sallimu ala nabiyyina Muhammad naafi' who says tarakna nisfal halal. That we left off half of halal things out of fear of them being haram. That you have a natural aversion, as the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, yourself, your soul starts to feel uncomfortable with the haram. To where something is even great area and you naturally get away from it and you have rida, you have pleasure in abstaining from it. I'm not worried about these things that I'm holding myself back from because I know that Allah has something greater for me in the hereafter. So you build from acceptance to endurance and then when it comes to the qadr of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, where you're actually able to verbalize. Alhamdulillah. Inna lillahi wa nahni raji'un. Alhamdulillah. Radhina billahi radha wa bil-islami dhina wa bi Muhammadin sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Nabiya, we're pleased. I'm pleased with Allah. I'm pleased with Islam. I'm pleased with Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So the first level, acceptance. And then inshallah ta'ala we'll speak about over the next few nights. I know tomorrow night is techniques. We'll talk about how to build that endurance in each of these three buckets inshallah. Then he concludes with a, the last thing he talks about is how when it comes to building your patience it also grows with you. Mean it's a process. That's what he's trying to say. So look, you're not born with it. You're not born with that level of endurance. No, you grow it as you grow old in your life as well. So he says over here, وَلَمَّا خُلِقَ الْإِنسَانُ فِي ابْتِدَاءِ أَمْرِهِ نَاقِصًا When the insan was first created, which means when you're born basically, you're born weak. You're born kind of like still naqas, which means you don't have all the faculties there. لم يُخْلَقْ فِيهِ إِلَّا شَهْوَةُ الْغِذَاءِ الَّذِي هُوَ مُحْتَاجٌ إِلَيْهِ
Because you're born without the faculties of the mind and the physical ability to do things and so on, the only thing, the only thing that was given to you to be patient with is what? Being hungry. So that's when the baby, basically when they're hungry, what do they do? They cry. When they don't get food, what do they do? They just cry themselves until they fall asleep. That's the level of patience. Now some adults act like this as well too sometimes, unfortunately. He goes, this is the first thing. قال فَصَبْرُهُ فِي هَذِي الْحَالِ بِمَزِلِةِ صَبْرِ الْبَهَائِنِ The human at that level, his patience is basically, is involuntarily just like the animals. Because I have no other choice. I'm just going to cry myself to sleep. قال وَلَيْسَ لَهُ قَبْلَ تَمْيِيزِهِ قُوَّةُ صَبْرِ الْإِخْتِيَارِ Before reach that level of recognition, when they become old enough to recognize the difference, he goes, they don't have that ability to make these choices. فَإِذَا ظَهَرَتْ فِيهِ شَهَوَةُ اللَّعِبِ When that child grows to the age when now they start desiring to play, like when they become two years old, for example, the terrible two of their lives, of course, obviously, or the parents' lives, obviously. He goes, قال, Now they have the desire to play. استَعَدَّ لِقُوَّةِ الصَّبْرِ الْإِخْتِيَارِ Now they're being prepared to exercise that voluntarily patience. Such as when their parents tell them, Hey, don't do this. If you do this, I'll give you that. If you don't, I'll give you this. So now they're exercising. You, as a parent, teach them to exercise that voluntarily patience. But if you don't exercise that with them because you're too overprotective or maybe just being too easy with them, they will never learn to be patient with these things. And as a matter of fact, a lot of parents, those who are, mashallah, helicopter parents, don't want their children to grow or deal with negative emotions. So their kids never really exercise patience against these things because their parents take care of everything for them. So when they become adults, they don't have the skill. And that's why, unfortunately, they fall easy for these mistakes and errors. قال,
فَإِذَا تَعَلَّقَتْ بِهِ شَهْوَةُ النِّكَاحِ أَظَهَرَتْ فِيهِ قُوَّةُ الصَّبْرِ So when they become old enough to desire intimacy, that's when now their level of patience is being intensified. You need patience. You need harder patience right now. It's not just a matter of, you know, the kids are counting you out of the game, so you have to be patient with these friends. It's a bigger thing right now. There's an instinct, there's a desire that is extremely, extremely strong. An intense desire. So it requires intense level of patience. So what he's saying is, look, you, as a human being, you grow with this level of patience and endurance. You grow it with you. Which, again, is a statement for the parents and the individuals. If you don't allow your kids to be patient and exercise patience with them because you want to be generous to your kids, give them whatever they ask for, they never learn to endure patience when it comes to real tests. So he says over here, قال, وَإِذَا تَحَرَّكَ سُلْطَانُ الْعَقْلِ When they reach now that level of recognition, they reach the age of maturity right now. So the previous one was about puberty. But now about rationality here. He says, قال, وَإِذَا تَحَرَّكَ سُلْطَانُ الْعَقْلِ وَقَوِي وَقَوِي اسْتَعَانَ بِجَيشِ الصَّبْرِ Now he says, when they become mature, and they develop the faculty of reason and mind, they need an army. An army of patience, basically, like soldiers of patience. Which means what? Your tests are going to be even more. Because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, now that he has given you the faculty of the mind, the reason by which you judge right and wrong, you can acquire knowledge by which you raise your iman to endure patience against these things. Your tests are going to be so many. So you need what? You need an army, soldiers that will help you to be patient right now. Why? Because your tests are going to become right now more frequent, and eventually you're going to have to always keep yourself clear so you can make the right decision and the right choices inshallah wa ta'ala. So the point here he's making, rahim
Allah wa ta'ala, is that you grow with it. You're not born with patience. You grow it. And the last point that he mentioned after that, he goes, when you get to this point, what do you need in order to have those soldiers that will help you reach that level of patience? He goes, that's when sultan al-nabuwa comes in, which means the knowledge of the wahi, the knowledge that comes from the prophet, the knowledge that comes from the Qur'an and the Sunnah of the prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. When you have conviction and you believe in the akhira, and you believe in the haram and halal, you believe in the reward of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, when you believe that Jannah is haq and true and so on, what are you going to do? You will delay your gratification. And you will endure patience. Why? Because I want to ascend to be on the level of the angels, not descend to be on the level of the animals. Yeah, I think inshallah. So tomorrow is going to be a very important one because we'll get into some of those techniques of dealing with instant gratification and things of that sort. And there's some profound insights. Insha'Allah. So let's take a few questions right now. We're going to put the QR code for you on the screen. And I'm going to take a few of the questions that we had earlier, inshallah ta'ala. Once again, for the sisters, we'd like to make sure that your padlet is actually a different color. And if we have any of our audience who are watching with us from out of state or even internationally, make sure to write for us where exactly you're watching from so at least we can take some of that question that comes online, inshallah ta'ala. Sheikh, there's a request here. So before the stream started, we were asked about the question of counseling. So I think it's important to mention once again that seeking counseling is not from the dispraiseworthy shakwa of complaining because you go to counseling to learn mechanisms by which you can, inshallah ta'ala, have patience going forward, not to merely complain or things of that sort. So you're actually taking a step forward, inshallah
ta'ala, to learn healthy tools, healthy mechanisms. And so this is not the opposites or an opposition of sabr and patience in any way. In fact, inshallah ta'ala, it can even be rewardable. So no one should look at us as belittling that tool. So we have a few questions coming up right now, masha'Allah, from different places as well, too. One of the sisters, she's asking, هل تشاركون الملائكة في شيء من أقسام الصبر؟ Well, angels, do angels share with us any of the categories of patience? Can you go over this part? I think Ibn Qayyim rahimallah, he mentioned that when it comes to the angels, their patience is different than ours because they don't have really the consequences like us in terms of making a choice. So they're only being created and designed by nature to be patient in regards to fulfilling Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's commands. So their patience is actually not, it's considered involuntary. This is how they were designed. Because Allah says, لا يعصون الله ما أمرهم وإفعلون ما يؤمرون. They've been designed like this. They would never disobey Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and whichever command that he would command them, and they will always fulfill Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's commandments. So that's why we say it's in that way that the involuntary is different. It's actually the question's even there. فإن قيل فهل تشاركن الملائكة في شيء من أقسام الصبر؟ قيل الملائكة لم يبتلوا بحوى يحاربوا عقولهم ومعارفهم. بل العبادة والطاعة لهم كالنفس لنا. I love this. He says, so he's asked, Ibn Qayyim rahimallah has asked, so do we share anything with the angels in regards to sabr? He says they don't have to fight against themselves the way that we have to fight against ourselves. They don't have to fight their desires. عبادة to them is like how we breathe. الله أكبر. They like breathe عبادة. So to them, the oxygen of the angels is worship. This is exactly how they live their lives and this is how they live their existence. And subhanallah, how amazing is Allah azawajal العزيز الحميد. Like you think about people,
I mean this is just a reflection, but you think about people and someone thinks like their disobedience will decrease from the kingdom of Allah in some way and the Prophet ﷺ said there's not a span of four fingers in this entire galaxy, in all of the heavens, except that there's an angel that is standing there or bowing or making sujood, praising Allah سبحانه وتعالى. There are angels that were created from start to finish in sajdah. In prostration, only praising Allah سبحانه وتعالى. So you think you're going to take away anything from this deen or take away anything from the kingdom of Allah when you disobey Allah سبحانه وتعالى. That's again a person to a point of delusion with their pride. A question comes from one of the brothers says, in terms of the reward, if I wasn't patient at time of hardship, am I still going to get the reward of that hardship that I had to go through? Basically, is patience considered an extra reward? So the ilmah mentioned the hadith where the Prophet ﷺ mentions al-sabr and al-sadmat al-ula, that patience is at the first strike, is like the hadith where the Prophet ﷺ says لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى until the end of it. No one of you believes until this and this and that. What it means is that you have not perfected, you have not reached the peak of faith until you love for your brother what you love for yourself. Not that you're not a Muslim. Likewise, true patience is at the first strike. However, what that means is, even if you missed the window of al-sadmat al-ula, of the first strike, there's still patience that comes after that, that's rewardable patience. But the greatest reward, the truest patience is realized at the first strike. That's where you have a moment, where you have an opportunity. But long term patience is indeed rewardable and long term patience is measured by progress. Not by words, but by progress. So yes, there is such thing as long term patience in coming closer to Allah Some people, subhanAllah, it's easier for them actually
because of the way that they're created or the nature of the trial. In the beginning they say alhamdulillah, but then as time goes on, they grow resentment, they grow anger, they grow sadness and grief, and then you find them depart from that patience. So patience is throughout that entire process. Another question coming from Minnesota. A sister, she's asking, will parents be held accountable for not training their kids in patience? Oh, that's mine? My kids are all patient, mashaAllah. Will parents be held accountable for not training their kids in patience? Now subhanAllah, people basically, they don't know, they don't have the skill even to train their kids. They don't even have the skill themselves to be patient with their kids to start with. The thing is that your kids are really going to learn from you. Your kids are going to be learning from you. If they see you patient, alhamdulillah, they will learn that through observation. It doesn't matter what you tell them, really. If you practice it, they will learn that from you. But no matter how much you train them to be patient, but if they don't see you patient, you're always annoyed, you always look agitated, you're always complaining, you're always yelling at them. No matter how much you tell them about being patient, they're not going to listen to you. So therefore, definitely, you need to exercise that with them, inshaAllah. So if parents fail to do that with their kids, are they going to be held accountable for that? Well, I hope not, because maybe when they're kids, they're one thing, but as the kids become adults, now it's your responsibility. Yes, when you're a kid, I will blame your parents. But once you become an adult, don't blame your parents anymore. It's your responsibility right now to start learning about exercising patience, inshaAllah. Another question. What does it mean when you can have patience with some situations and not with others? What does it mean? This is why you don't mock anyone, or you don't look down on someone. Some people excel at ibadat, at acts of worship,
because they come easy to them, but they struggle with others. And you might excel in a particular ibadah, and someone struggles with that particular act of worship. And you might look down on that person. Likewise, some people endure naturally, for whatever reason. You know, Sheikh Yasser just talked about a household that you grew up in. You just endure naturally, for whatever reason, a particular type of trial better than others. That doesn't mean that you've generated patience inside of you. That just means that you were able to bear that particular notion of trial because you were kind of accustomed to it. It's like if you lived in cold weather, right? A question from Minnesota. If you live in Minnesota your whole life, you can bear freezing temperatures a lot better than someone who lives in Texas. Okay? Because you're naturally accustomed to it. That doesn't mean you're necessarily a patient person. That means that Allah Azawajal gave you circumstances that made that particular trait easier for you to bear. So, as a Muslim, you want to complete yourself. You want to try to be balanced. You want to try to fill in your gaps. You look at what others have that you don't have, and you try to have that instead. You look at your failures where others are not failing. And you ask yourself, how can I stop failing in this particular regard? And when you see others failing in a way that you're not necessarily failing, you ask Allah for protection from that and you ask Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la to help that person through it. A question coming all the way from Canada, mashaAllah. Where did it go? What's the best way to observe patience when dealing with it physically? Like being tested with health. How do we exercise patience in a situation like that? First of all, Canadians are very patient people, mashaAllah. Do we have any Canadians here? Any of y'all here? There we go, mashaAllah. So you apologize for everything and you're constantly patient, mashaAllah, in your nature.
But on a serious note, when it comes to health, it's really interesting because the different types of conditions that we're familiar with right now, and I'm sure the medical professionals here can appreciate this. Back then, you read about fever, sickness, death. They don't really talk much, they didn't really have different names for different types of diseases. This person at the age of 42 years old, suddenly got sick, they had an intense fever, they passed away. Allah knows what that would have been diagnosed as, what it was coming from, where the infection was, and so on and so forth. So you'll find all these ahadith, it's actually a rich portion of ahadith where the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam says don't curse al-humma, don't curse fever, because fever takes away your sins. And it raises you in your degrees. So you'll find all these ahadith about the fever, because the fever is like the most obvious manifestation in those times that a person has some sort of underlying illness. The idea that a fever, or the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam says ham, an anxiety that you're facing, not a single thing comes to you of a fever or an anxiety, or even the prick of a thorn, and you are patient with that, except that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la erases a sin by it, and elevates you a degree by it. So when a person takes with that, that they have a constant source of ajr with them, even as they're trying to seek a cure, and they're asking Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la for a cure, then bidninahi ta'ala it makes it more bearable to know of the reward that exists for it. So many questions about marriage and patience. Is it okay to be patient when trying to find a wife? And a question from the sisters also they say, how do we exercise patience in the pursuit of marriage when the opportunity is not coming their way, for example, all these kind of things. May Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la give those who are looking, may Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la give
them the righteous spouse they're looking for, Rabbil Alameen, and make it easy for them to find them in this dunya and the akhir, ya Allah. Now in regard to this matter, look, obviously the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he recommends for us never, ever to rush into matters. Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la says Insan was hasty, was created hasty. We always want to rush into things. Now the interesting thing today in our time is as much as we desire to get married so quickly unfortunately, the people when it comes to making the decision they just kind of freeze. And as a result, they rather forego an opportunity because now they're not sure about making the decision or the choice. So they want to have the certainty of just not even making the decision and hope for a better opportunity to come easier for them than really endure the patience of dealing with the situation they're in right now and investigate and ask. So when we say being patient over here, you need to pursue the path that will help you seek marriage and get married. Not looking, not trying, not asking, not put yourself out there appropriately for marriage. That does not defy being patient. No, being patient is do all the effort first and then wait what Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la will judge for you. When a man came to the Masjid of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and he had his camel and he asked Rasulullah, Ya Rasulullah, do I tie my camel down or do I trust Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la? He goes, Aqilha wa Tawakkal. First of all, tie your camel down and then trust Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la with it. The same thing over here. You need to do everything in your power to get married Insha'Allah to Barak Allah. I mean by that, of course, reach the means that will help you get married Insha'Allah wa Ta-A'la. And then after doing everything, then you trust Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la with the judgment and be patient with the
outcome. The idea is, since we talk about the subject of marriage, our young men and women today, unfortunately, they're so afflicted with that because we have too many options, too many choices, and because we have access to so many options, nothing is satisfying to us. And we keep waiting for the one to come and happen. Yes, it's a very serious decision to make, but I hope Insha'Allah to our young men and women today they are brave enough to make the decision, make the choice, and Insha'Allah to make the best out of it. I don't know if you have any comment or advice on that. Khair Insha'Allah wa Ta-A'la Last question Insha'Allah Again, how do you maintain patience in marriage? Okay, something about wife and husband. Yes, find something else. Okay, so last one here Insha'Allah. How can someone who has endured a lot of hardship and remained silent, but they are burned out and starting to lose their patience? What do they do? Well, look I think all of us can maybe relate to that where you kind of like what you know fails you in terms of how to act upon it. I think that this is where you kind of look back at your capacity and ask Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la to increase your capacity and to relieve you at the same time. When you look at that du'a at the end of Surah Al-Baqarah, it's really interesting because a lot of times, Shaykh, we look at the adhkar that we're supposed to recite and we just kind of read them like robotically, like okay, the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said whoever reads these two ayats at the end of the night, kafata, it's enough for them. Like pay attention to the words.
... O Allah, don't give us what we can't bear. And when we fall short of that, ... Forgive us, pardon us, forgive us, have mercy on us. ... Like this du'a is so powerful because it's an acknowledgement that at times you're going to feel like you're out of steam. And you have to seek refuge in those familiar places of remembrance of dhikr and kind of look at them a little bit deeper because the solution is there but you've got to go back to that. I think that when a person feels like they've endured it for so long, obviously sometimes there's an unhealthy buildup where recourse is being delayed. Where a person is just not taking a necessary step towards recourse and then sometimes there are things that are completely out of your hands and you have to say to yourself, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is preparing for me a great reward should I practice a greater sense of resilience. O Allah, help me have that resilience. So going back and this is the power, Shaykh, of ... That there is no shelter and no refuge from you, O Allah, except back to you. So may Allah grant us that shelter. May Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la make it easy for all of them, Ya Rabbil Alamin. If I may add to this, Shaykh, I think one of the reasons why people, they really feel burned out so much because they focus so much on the results, on the outcome. Like we are fixated at a specific outcome from the effort that I'm putting there and if I don't get it then it's not working and we start losing steam and losing patience. We don't realize that you're not responsible for the outcome because you're probably going to be doing everything perfect by the book. You're still not going to get what you wish for because Allah will test you.
And Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la promised and He said that He will test you with everything. … He said, I shall try you and test you with everything. Diminishing of health and wealth and food and sometimes security and safety. All of that will diminish. He said, … So many of us, unfortunately, we focus so much on the results. That's what makes us realize, you know, I've been patient for too long. Look, patience is a lifestyle. What does that exactly mean? It means my job is not to focus on the result as much as on putting the effort there. I need to put my effort there. So as long as I'm putting my effort, alhamdulillah, whatever result comes out of it, I trust Allah's judgment. However, that doesn't mean I cannot recalibrate and look back and see what went wrong and why I didn't get what I was hoping to get and so on. Of course, you're going to have to go through all the consultation the Shaykh was talking about earlier. Hey, I need to start looking into my effort. Am I doing the right thing? Am I missing something? So you need to put the effort, inshallah, but focus more on doing the right thing. That's all. If I've done everything right, if I've done everything right, who cares about the outcome? Abu Bakr al-Siddiq was the example in this. Look at the time when the Hudaybiyyah, when the Prophet he promised the Sahaba to go for Umrah after they won the battle of Al-Khandaq. The following year, they went with their Ihram and they went to do Umrah in Mecca. The Meccans banned them from coming in. After so many negotiations, eventually they came up with that deal that you go back home, you come next year. You're not going to do Umrah right now. And anyone who becomes Muslim, you guys have to return them back to us. But if anyone comes back to us, we're not going to send them back to you. To many people, that was injustice. Like Umar ibn Khattab, he saw that that was not a fair deal.
So what he did, he kept going to the Prophet, Ya Rasulallah, why do we have to accept this? Why? We were almost there, we could see Mecca. We could see the Kaaba even. Why are we going to make the Umrah? And the Prophet said, Ya Umar, let go. Leave it. And Umar was just not being patient in that moment. And he goes to Abu Bakr al-Siddiq, Ya Abu Bakr, why did you talk to the Prophet? That's not fair. So he was being impatient in that moment. Abu Bakr al-Siddiq radiyallahu anhu, this is the man who really just, he does these things with Ihsan. He told Umar a simple message. He goes, don't you believe he's the Messenger of God? He goes, I do. He goes, just follow his way. Like, listen to him. Umar radiyallahu anhu, he was eager, of course, for the results. You promised we're going to go to Umrah, so for him, the outcome of this trip should be what? Do the Umrah. And when the Umrah was not accomplished, for him, he said, we failed the mission. So he became impatient a little bit in that regard. Abu Bakr al-Siddiq, he didn't care about doing Umrah or not. He cared about what? We did our best. We came all the way to Mecca. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has a different thing for us from the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. So he said, alhamdulillah, we go back home. We listen and obey. So what I'm saying to the brothers and sisters over here is that you need to focus more on doing your part. As long as you do it right, according to the Qur'an and the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, and according to the skills and the guidelines of whatever thing that you deal with, whether it's at work or family relations or anything like that, as long as I'm doing my best, alhamdulillah rabbi ameen, I should be fine with whatever outcome. Can I try to change that outcome and recalibrate? Absolutely. We go back to consultation, do our best again, and if we don't get it one more time, we do our best. You can do everything right, and you're still going to be tested. And the example for this
is Nuh alaihi salam, whom Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave him a long life, in which he spent 950 years in da'wah. 950 years in da'wah. If anyone, if anyone deserved to be spared again the pain of dealing with hardships of that nature about da'wah, it would be him. Still, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tested him with his non-believing wife and son. Did he fail the mission? No. He did everything in his power, but he had no control over the outcome. Khair, inshallah, we have to conclude here. And see you tomorrow night, inshallah. For more information visit www.fema.org
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