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20 Techniques to Master Patience (Part 2) | Late Night Talk
Ibn Al Qayyim (ra) lists 20 techniques to exercise patience. Join Dr. Omar Suleiman and Sh. Yaser Birjas as they go through the remaining techniques in Part 2 of this talk, and reflect on other lessons and gems from Ibn Al-Qayyim’s The Excellence of Patience and Gratitude.
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Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Next goal. And he said getting used to the strength training will increase your capacity. And he starts to say, think about even physically speaking, the people that are engaged in hard manual work. So he describes the porters or people that are in difficult manual labor. They naturally are able to increase in their strength, unlike those maybe who work in jobs like tailors or merchants and things of that sort. So he's saying abandoning this idea of strength training here, spiritual strength training, al-mujahidah, it completely weakens you in your pursuit of religion. And your motivations in terms of shahwa, in terms of desire, they're not going to get weaker. So basically if you're not spiritually strengthening yourself, your desires are spiritually strengthening naturally because the temptations around you are becoming more. And the desires are naturally going to continue to lead that way to it. So if you accustom yourself to restraining your desires through that spiritual strength training, then you're going to know how to quickly conquer when the desire, when the pull of the desire becomes stronger. So basically set goals for yourself on a regular basis in terms of your next step with your strength training. And this is especially true with Ramadan and the motivations and the desires and celebrate again the wins and then add the next layer, add the next layer, add the next layer. When you're spiritually more disciplined, more strengthened, then naturally you can reign your desire in quicker when you find yourself in a difficult situation. What Ibn Qayyim mentioned over here as well is that, look, you're not going to be successful all the time. You're not going to be successful all the time. You're going to fail. Fail twice, thrice, probably more. He says make these failures a stepping stone towards the next success moment. So that's why he says gradual.
And as you try to resist, you're going to stumble. You're going to fall short from accomplishing that. But then slowly and gradually you're going to get there. But if you stop trying and you never take yourself to the next level, this is it. You're going to always stay at that level of weakness. Let me give an example. Right now one of the most dangerous things people are practicing on a daily basis without even noticing that is the constant browsing and strolling. You know when you have this out of play, whether you're watching something on social media or whatever that is. And now, mashallah, to watch another video is just you have to swipe up or down or right or left. It made it very easy for you. People who don't resist the temptation to keep browsing or the out of play, what's going to happen to them? They will never learn to strengthen their inner desire to stop or abstain or self-control or restrain. They never. Why? Because they allow themselves to keep strolling and browsing and right, left, up and down, swiping, easy. Because you're not training yourself. That strength training is not happening to your nafs. And as a result we keep failing and failing and failing. We get weaker and weaker and weaker. Today, if I may add something, especially in our time, alhamdulillah, al-ni'm are many. The blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala come in abundance, alhamdulillah, especially in times like ours. However, sometimes these ni'm, these blessings, come also with a price tag on them. Like imagine those people who live in the desert or live in underdeveloped societies and communities. They have to do everything with their hands. They have to walk, they have to labor with their hands, they have to put effort in it. And as a result, they develop skills in life that us living in very, mashallah, sophisticated societies don't even have.
One of these major skills that I would love to bring to the attention of my young brothers and sisters here in the crowd, is the culture of fixing things when they break. Unfortunately, because we live in a culture of abundance, alhamdulillah, it's easier to replace it when it breaks. And as a result, we really never learn how to fix things. And that also is going to creep into your personal life. So when you have a broken relationship, whether with a spouse or a co-worker or a boss or whatever that is, guess what? You replace it. You quit your job quickly. You quit the relationship. You're going through divorce. Why? Because we're not really have that training for it. So Ibn Qayyim says, look, these laborers, they laborers, when they carry heavy weights on a regular basis, what happens? Next time they're going to carry an even heavier one. Because they're training themselves. Similarly, spiritually over here, when you keep training yourself to restrain yourself from watching this, so it keeps swiping, imagine if you just want to, when you have the temptation to hold your phone, so you could just spend maybe five minutes recreational time on it, you say, no. You put it on the side. Turn it off. Imagine if you restrain yourself and gradually those five minutes become ten minutes, then 15 minutes, and then 20 minutes, and then suddenly you quit watching that active phone for hours. It builds strong momentum for you that will also, alhamdulillah, add to your spiritual strength. Sheikh, there's one more thing. JazakAllah khair. It's a profound lesson. You want to train every one of your faculties to where you're in control of it. What do I mean by that? Let's say, for example, that your tongue, you have a goal to say this many adhkar every single day. And so you are becoming more trained now and training of your tongue and how often you're going to use it to remember Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in the next day. And you're building the regimen of dhikr.
You have a goal that you're going to read this much Qur'an a day. You're involving your eyes. You're involving your contemplation. And so I have to finish a juz or half a juz or something a day. So now you're getting control of your eyes. You have a time training in your life and a component of time discipline where I'm going to listen to this much of good things, of beneficial things every single day. You have the training of the body for good. I'm going to exert my strength in volunteering this many hours per day. You have the training of su adhan and disciplining, you know, thinking bad thoughts about everyone, suppressing bad thoughts, ill feelings about people, suppressing your anger when you get into a situation, dealing with people. And we talked about the hadith, the one who mixes with the people and tolerate some of the hardship. You mix with people in a capacity of doing good and you naturally are training yourself in how to deal with people. What that's going to do for you is that look, you know, just like you're sort of training your appetite right now in Ramadan, as your Qur'an strength training, as your dhikr strength training, as your service strength training, as your strength training in every way here with these things, you're not going to want to compromise those goals for something in the process and you're naturally more disciplined about all of those different things that you have. You're guarding your faculties. So if you have, for example, the goal, every day I need to listen to this much or I need to listen to this lecture, one lecture a day, for example, or one lecture every two days. I need to finish this portion of Qur'an a day. So when you have that temptation, the strong temptation, you know what's going to happen instead? You're now a spiritually strength training motivated person. And so what you're thinking to yourself is wait. All right. I got an hour now. Let me go ahead and finish my word of the Qur'an. Alhamdulillah. All right. Yeah. Alhamdulillah. This week I said this dhikr 50 times a day. Alhamdulillah. This week I got it.
Okay, so you're becoming motivated towards those goals. And those of you that physically strength train, you understand the joy of meeting your next goal, your next goal, your next goal. That joy is far greater than constantly letting the next temptation pull you to the next thing. You know, Shaykh, subhanAllah, sometimes one of the interesting things I see on a regular basis, you know, when you go to Saat al-Fajr, and sometimes even before Saat al-Fajr, sometimes I have to travel, for example, early before Fajr, so you drive to the airport. And at 4 a.m., at 5 a.m., before even Fajr starts, and you have people jogging and riding bikes. And in my mind, just like, oh, my God, how much joy they're getting out of really, out of breaking that laziness moment to win against their desire to remain asleep and enjoy their bed. How much joy they're getting out of this triumph against their desire to stay asleep when they go biking at 4 a.m. or go jogging actually at 5 a.m. And subhanAllah, just no one else in the streets. Can you imagine how much joy they're getting out of that? This is exactly what Imam Ibn Qayyim is speaking about over here. Because he says over here, he said, If you savor the sweetness of something, you will desire more of it. And if you start savoring the sweetness of waking up for Fajr, waking up for Tahajjud, resisting your temptations, winning against the Shaytan in that moment, if you start savoring the sweetness of that defeat of the Shaytan, oh, man, I want to do more of this. This is exactly how it works. Similarly, when people wake up just to go to the gym and they spend an hour or two, at the end they're so happy, even though they're sweating and they're fatigued, they're exhausted. But the joy of accomplishing these two hours of their gym program is so great that they're willing to do more of it. It's the exact same feeling.
In physical strength training, you need to do that as well with your spiritual training. ثُمَّ تَقْوَى فَتَصِيرُ هُمُومًا ثُمَّ تَقْوَى فَتَصِيرُ إِرَادَاتٍ ثُمَّ تَقْوَى فَتَصِيرُ عَزْمًا يَقْتَلُنُ بِهِ الْمُرَادِ فَدَفْعُ الْخَاطِرِ الْأَوَّلِ أَسْهَلُ وَأَيْسَرُ مِنْ دَفْعِ أَثَرِ الْمَقْدُورِ بَعْدَ وُقُوعِهِ وَتَرْكِ مَعَاوَلَتِهِ So this is one of Ibn Al-Qayyim's most famous interventions on how to train the soul. It shows up in multiple writings of his, so we're going to probably take a little bit more time on this point insha'Allah. Because if you were to categorize like the Ibn Al-Qayyim's strategy of training the self, this is one of his most genius sentences in various manifestations. So he says that a person should work on how to control their thoughts and especially their evil thoughts. So if such thoughts come to their mind, you repel them and you don't let those thoughts take root and settle in your mind. Because once they settle in the mind, then they become desires. And he says this is the capital of deprived people, of wretched people. Because they let thoughts settle in their mind and then they let them become desires in the first place. Sheikh, if I may maybe alter the translation on this one. Instead of saying desires, it would more likely become actually hopes. What does that exactly mean? When you have a thought that crosses your mind and you start thinking more about it, you start having hope that you could get it. And he says hope, living on hope, is the capital of the bankrupt ones in this life.
Who always live their life on maybe I can do this, maybe I can do that. Imagine all your life is just sitting down there on your couch and just hoping to be rich, hoping to get married, hoping to do this, hoping to do that, hoping to defeat the shaitan. But you do nothing. Because if that thought crosses your mind and you start hoping that this could happen, then it becomes again just like the capital of the bankrupt. And the Chinese, they say there's a proverb, Chinese proverb says if the thought crosses your mind, it's okay as long as you don't serve it coffee or tea. Don't serve your thoughts tea, don't let it stay in your mind. It can go through, but don't serve it tea, otherwise once it settles in your mind, it becomes a problem. Masha'Allah, Shaykh Yasir's got Chinese proverbs. I'm deeply impressed. I couldn't find Muslim Chinese on there. So I'm going to share, actually if it's okay with you Shaykh, I'll actually go to al-fawa'id here. Because I like the way he states it. Ibn al-Qayyimah of course wrote the fawa'id as well, the useful sayings. He states something very similar, but it matches this as well. He says in al-fawa'id, Fight your passing thoughts. Because if you don't fight your passing thoughts, then your passing thoughts will become settled thoughts. So passing thoughts, by the way who remembers the name of the book that we covered last year? Someone make us feel good like we're teaching for useful reasons. Who remembers the name of the book last year? Sayyidul Khatir, right? Captured thoughts, right? So thoughts, the khawatir, the things that go through, al-khatir that just goes through that passing thought, that's where the believer wants to be at. You want to intercept at that level. And that's where the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam talks about the reward of a person. You know when the sahaba were worried about their doubts, they were worried about the khawatir, these doubts that pass through. And that's where the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam mentioned their reward.
And that's where Imam Nawawi talks about su'adhan, when a person has evil assumptions that if a person captures their evil assumption at that level, that's where the ajr is. So it's the passing thoughts. Because naturally, you just want to imagine like shaitan is like your constant commercial generator. He's throwing ads at you constantly. That's literally what it is, right? He never stops advertising to you. So shaitan is your 24-hour commercial system, ad system. He spams you. There you go. Shaitan will spam you constantly with the things to get you away from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So spam, khawatir. So he's saying, دافع الخطرة, fight those. دافع الخطرة فإن لم تفعل صارت فكرة. If you don't stop it there, then you let it become a settled thought. And he said, فدافع الفكرة فإن لم تفعل صارت شهوة. He said, so fight it then. If you let it get to a settled thought, that was a problem. That's one safety lock that has been released. You let it get to a settled thought. You've been thinking about it. At that point, أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم. Get it out of your mind. Stop thinking about it. Stop entertaining the thought. Because at that point, it becomes a desire, a shahwa. You know, subhanAllah, There's so many things in terms of advertising, Shaykh, like you think about how predatory marketing can be, right? Create vulnerabilities and then prey on your vulnerability, right? Exploit the vulnerability. How predatory marketing can actually be in this regard, right? And it wants you in your most vulnerable moment to press the button, click. So you click the next button, right? Now I'm going to start using all these marketing terms of lead generation. And like you got to the next step. You're in now. You're in my system, all right? You're in Shaytan's system. At that point, shut down that window quickly.
Because if you let him now take you to that next level, then it'll become a desire. And he says, فَحَارِبْهَا فَإِنَّمْ تَفْعَلْ صَارَتْ عَزِيمًا He said, so fight it at that level of desire. Because if you don't, you will become determined to fulfill that desire. The desire will lead to determination. You will insist. صَارَتْ عَزِيمًا وَهِمَّا You will insist on fulfilling that desire. So that's where even if the window is freezing and you've decided to buy it, you're still going to go and restart your browser all over again and find your way and re-input your credit card. Because you decided, I'm going to purchase this now. So you've insisted now. عَزِيمًا هِمَّا قَالَ فَإِنَّمْ تُدَافِعْهَا صَارَتْ فِعْلًا And if you don't fight it there, then it becomes an action. فَإِنَّمْ تَدَارَكَهُ بِضِدِّهِ صَارَ عَادًا And if you don't fight it then, with something. To undo the deed. The Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said, أَتْبِعْ Follow السيئة with الحسنة. Follow your bad deed with a good deed. تمحوها and wipe it out. So if you don't hurry up and replace that bad deed with a good deed instead. Then he said, it will become a habit. فَيَسْعِبُ عَلَيْكَ الْإِنْتِقَالُ عَنْهَا And at that point, how hard is it to get out of a bad habit? How hard is it when a person gets out of a bad habit? And there's another saying from him. He says, the greatest habit is to never fall prison. Or become a prisoner to a habit. He said, the habit of the righteous is to not become aseer. To become a prisoner of a habit. Because we are creatures of habit. And here you have the saying of the Prophet ﷺ. Where he said, إِذَا ذُكِرْتُمْ بِاللَّهِ فَانْتَهُوا When you're reminded of Allah, stop. The moment you're reminded of Allah, stop. And we talked about the psychology of a cheater. The psychology of someone going far away. Learn to stop yourself earlier on. Catch it earlier on.
Now there's a lot, and definitely Sheikh Yasser, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. To comment on this particular statement. I think my engineering brain started activating right now. Let's hope another Gulf War doesn't happen. When I was hearing you speak about it, subhanAllah. What was coming through my mind is when the khatar, which means the thought, the passing thought comes through. And if you let it go through, obviously you don't have a strong emotional and spiritual firewall. Those malwares and viruses that shaytan keeps throwing at you. The spam keeps throwing at you. It's going to go into your processor. And once it captures your processor, khalas. They're going to rewrite everything for you. When they rewrite everything for you, what you once considered to be haram, to be shameful, to be wrong, the shaytan now convinces you otherwise. Because again, he changed the whole thing for you. The system has changed. What once was considered a'ib, what a shameful thing to do, the shaytan rewrote everything for you. So suddenly it becomes, oh, it's okay, you're justified, everybody's doing it. You have a reason for that. Simply because you allow that malware or that virus to go through because you have a very weak emotional, spiritual firewall. So what Ibn Qayyim is saying over here, look. Before it hits your processor and changes this whole system of yours, like you said, once you enter the shaytan's system, you're under his mercy. And he's ruthless. He has no mercy for you. So, therefore, before you get there, you need to strengthen your emotional and spiritual firewall so when these thoughts come your way, you capture them and throw them away. Immediately trash them out. And even if one or two pass through, hopefully not the worst ones or the most dangerous ones. Because eventually, human beings, we're going to make mistakes. That's what the Prophet's ﷺ says. We are going to make mistakes. But I hope there will never be a major one. That's something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. And that's what Ibn Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, says towards the end of this chapter.
He says, Repelling that first passing thought. Much easier. Much, much easier for you than dealing with the consequence. Than dealing with the consequence of what you've done to yourself. So if you think about all these mistakes that we've done today, you probably suddenly start shrinking in your place because you might start feeling ashamed of yourself. And, We thank God that we forget. It's a paradoxical statement over here. But we thank God that we forget because if we're always conscious of our mistakes and faults and sins, what happens? We will never live a life at all, completely. That's it. We start getting depressed and anxious all the time and you never feel good about yourself. You will be desperate of the mercy of Allah. But we thank God that He makes us forget these things. However, now you need to be in control of what you forget and what you don't forget. So in this case, Alhamdulillah, you use it to your advantage. But Ibn Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, says, Look, listen, be careful with that. Repelling that passing thought will be way much easier for you than dealing with the consequence of acting upon it. So an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure, right? That's the saying, right? So an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. One of my mashayikhs, subhanAllah, who taught me al-fawa'id, who I listen to teach al-fawa'id, he said something so beautiful. So beautiful about this particular statement, and I'll never forget it. He said, You can't fight any one of these except at the exact same level of it. Meaning what? You can't fight a bad passing thought except by exposing yourself to more of good passing thoughts. And you can't fight a bad settled thought except with a good settled thought. And you can't fight a bad intention except with a good intention. And you can't fight a bad desire except with a good desire. And a bad deed except with a good deed. And then a bad habit except with a good habit. Now, what is that? What exactly does that mean?
وَاذْكُرْ رَبَّكَ فِي نَفْسِكَ تَضَرُّ عَنْ وَخِيْفَةٍ Remember Allah even to yourself. So how do you start to purify your thoughts? Because your ad blocker is dhikr. It's constant. The dhikr is always there in your thoughts, that remembrance of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. You're remembering Allah even in yourself. So that's your ad blocker right there. The remembrance of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. Now, if you let a thought settle, that's where you go. And you actually read the settled decrees of the consequences of those deeds. To make yourself disgusted by it. That's where their ilm pops in, their uqoor, the knowledge pops in. Okay, you know, it's not going to be so desirable to me anymore. If I start thinking about this and actually what the consequences are. And if I do end up committing the deed, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, then do a good deed in its place. تمخوها It'll wipe it out. And that's where the beauty of forgetfulness is. Like Allah has given you the remedy here. But hurry up, wipe it out. Umar ibn al-Khattab radiallahu anhu said, If you commit a sin, don't leave the place that you committed a sin until you've committed a good deed in the exact same place. Quickly. Don't delay it. Immediately. Respond with a good deed so that you can wipe it out. And then bad habits can only go with good habits. We're creatures of habits. Motivation is only going to get you so far. Motivations are suitable for moments. Habits lead to changes of lives. We're creatures of habit. We're creatures of a'ada. Our salah is a habit. It's a'ada. And what did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam say about the prayer? That it wipes out the sins. A prayer to a prayer wipes out the sins. Jumu'ah is a weekly habit. It wipes out the sins between it. Wudu' is a habit. It wipes out the sins between it. So you have to replace your bad habits with good habits. You can't just say, Oh Allah, help me conquer this bad habit. It's not going to happen unless you actually come up with a good habit and it's placed to protect yourself from it for all times, inshallah.
Since we're talking about habits, sheikh, I want to recommend the book for everybody, which is the book of The Power of Habits. The Power of Habits is very important, actually. It has three levels, three chapters. The first part is about individual habits. The second is about organizational habits, and the third about societal habits. Now speaking about habits, it's a very simple formula over here. It says that, look, the brain loves habits. Why does the brain love habits? Because when you run on habits, you run on low energy. The brain doesn't have to operate. It operates on the bare minimum of its energy. Because it goes autopilot immediately. But if you try to change the habit, that means you have to work the brain. And the brain is lazy. It doesn't want to consume that energy. It wants to keep it for the most important decisions for you. And that's why, unfortunately, we find ourselves, it's easy for us to justify the moment you, for example, you lay down in your bed. What is the most common habit people do these days when they lay on bed? What do they do? Grab their phone. What do they do with their phones? Swiping up and down, right? Social media. The most common things. Quran. Maybe Ramadan. But the most common bad habit that we do is when we go to bed, the last thing we would like to do is grab our phones and keep scrolling and seeing what's going on there. And you build that habit. And it becomes the norm for you. And now, every time you go to bed, automatically, without even thinking, you find yourself going through all that stuff. And like every single night, you realize after two hours that, oh my God, what happened to me? The exact same thing. So when it comes to the subject of habit, here's another thing to say about habits. Habits, habits don't go away. Did you guys understand that? Like if you started a bad habit, it doesn't go away.
However, it can only be replaced. It can only be replaced because you need to practice the new habit in place of the old one long enough to bury it underneath. And you need to be persistent. But once you stop practicing the good habit, what happens? The bad one comes back to the surface. Which is why after trying 10 times, you find yourself coming back to old habits and just like, I'm failing again. And you quit. No, don't quit. Keep trying and trying and trying. That's what Ibn Qayyim says in this point number 11 when he said, look, gradually, you build it, never ever quit. So it's extremely important that we understand to quit a bad habit. I need to replace it by practicing a new good habit long enough to become the new norm. So it's suppressed that old habit down there and never ever come to the surface again, inshallah ta'ala. Number 13. 13, Imam Ibn Qayyim says, This is very important right now. Wa laysa al-muradu al-la yakoonahu hawa, bal al-muradu an yasrifa hawahu ila ma yanfa'ahu wa yasta'amiluhu fi tanfidhi murad al-rab, ta'ala. Fa inna dhalika yadfa'u anhu sharra isti'amali fi ma'asihi. Fa inna kulla shay'i min al-insani lillahi yaqihi sharra isti'amalihi nafsihi. Wa lish-shaytaan. Wa ma la yasta'amiluhu lillahi, isti'amalahu li nafsihi wa hawahu wa labud. Fa al-ilm, in lam yakun lillahi, ka'i al-nafsihi wa al-hawa wa al-amal. In lam yakun lillahi, ka'i al-riya'i wa al-jah. Wa al-malu in lam yunfaq fi ta'atillahi, unfiq fi ta'atil shaytaan. You know, if I could summarize this, it's be too tired to sin and too busy to sin. Like it's such a powerful, long, it's a long point that he makes here. But he's saying, he's saying, look, you have to cut off, al-ala'iq wal-asbaab, ala'iq are your relationships, asbaab are reasons.
So cut off the relationship and the relationships and the reasons that keep pulling you back to follow your desires. And he's saying, this is not to say that you're going to somehow eliminate a desire. Instead, you need to move those desires towards that which is beneficial to you. I'm not going to read the translation actually, just summarize it. Move the desires to that which is beneficial to you. So use your knowledge for that which is good. Exercise your brain power for that which is good. Exercise your energy for that which is good. Exercise your emotions for that which is good. So exert those energies that those desires draw from. Remember the capital, like the energy is the capital of the desires, right? So use that capital, that amwal, that Allah has given you towards beneficial things to where you actually don't have time and you've cut off the people, the places, and the poles towards those desires in a bad way. Subhanallah, look, I'm just going to share with you this and it really is something to think about. People that are motivated towards dunya can teach you a lot about being motivated towards deen, a lot about being motivated towards deen. People do not achieve great things because of raw talent or because something, you know, motivates them one day and because they're thinking about it and they think this is a great thing to do. They achieve it because of an extraordinary discipline and work ethic. So they believe in what they're pursuing and they believe what they're pursuing is worth more than what they're foregoing. It's as simple as that. That's what people of pursuit of dunya do. So you need to be too busy for shaytan, too tired for shaytan, just like you are in Ramadan, right? Even if you wanted to go home and sin after Fajr, you're going to be too exhausted to sin after Fajr. You won't be able to open your social media. You're going to be knocked out because you're going to be too busy, too tired. If you're too consumed with good, you won't have room for evil. That's what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam teaches us in his
life, in his lifetime. Be consumed by good and inshallah ta'ala you won't have any room for the shaytan to test you with that evil. How many of us over here don't want to be significant or feel significant in this life? Anyone wants, doesn't want to be significant or feel significant in this life? I think all of us would like to feel that we have value. We have value in this life. We can add value to this life as well, too. We all want to do that. And this feeling has become so intensified with social media that under the feeling of being an influencer, like when you feel people are following you, people are liking what you post, people are taking pictures with you, all that stuff. And so you start feeling significance. You see, that's a desire. He says over here, this could go right or wrong. If you start desiring these things for anything besides Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, it's going to lead you astray. But if you're desiring these things for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, then you're going to benefit from it in the dunya and the akhirah. That's what I mean by that. Some of these desires are neutral. As a matter of fact, all desires are neutral. They're neutral. How you practice them and for what purpose, that would lead them left or right. So being significant in this life for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, I want to be an influencer. I would like to be important. I would like to be famous inshallah ta'ala. But for the right reason, for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. So I'm going to put all my energy and my content online, for example, or when I go out to speak to people, not to promote myself, but to promote the message itself. Most of social media is about the messenger, not the message, by the way. But when you start focusing more on the message, to influence the message on people that are the influence of yourself, then we have a problem with that. Here, it gives examples of knowledge, for example. Knowledge in itself is also neutral. If you pursue that knowledge for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, it's beneficial for you in the dunya and the akhirah. But if you start pursuing this knowledge so that you can become knowledgeable and people start speaking about how knowledgeable
you are, you can imagine how bad that is. So he says basically all these desires are there and they are neutral. But attach them to the right reason, attach them to the right source, to the right outcome. Otherwise, if these desires are attached to the wrong thing, then it's difficult and it's going to actually lead you astray. So it's extremely important that we understand these desires, they're just neutral. How you play them, how you use them, in which direction you play them, that will make them good or bad. Now, Sheikh, he spoke about habits. If you want to just mention a little bit what he said down there. He goes, look, if you start practicing until you build the habits of worshiping Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, doing things for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, regularly, he goes, the hardest thing on you, it becomes doing something other than for the sake of, for someone else besides Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. Like when you get used to doing everything sincerely for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, being insincere is the hardest thing on you, which means when you start doing something and you realize your heart is not doing it for the sake of Allah, it's so hard on you. You feel it, you know it, and it disturbs you and it bothers you. So you start becoming, filtering yourself based on those feelings. Similarly, he says, when it comes to money, you have the money, alhamdulillah wa ba'min, and you're earning this for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, and you're also doing it, spending it for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. He says the most difficult thing upon a person who does this for the sake of Allah is knowing that he's doing it for something besides Sabilillah. When they realize they're earning money or spending money just, you know, for something other than for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, it bothers them. How many of us can really filter their desires or their ala'iq of this dunya based on that? When you do something, you realize, alhamdulillah, it makes me feel comfortable because I know I'm doing it for the sake of Allah. But then inside myself, it's just, it's so hard.
It comes back to like the very beginning, the obedience of the lover, the fear of the lover, the return of the lover is better than every other form of obedience that you have. Because if you think of a person that you love to do for, a person who is grateful, a person who appreciates what you do things, when you do things for them, when you can start to visualize al-shakur, Allah and his gratitude towards you, and you can actually start to visualize the response after you commit a deed. What sweetness in this world can match that? There is nothing that can match that. So that's the obedience of al-muhibb, of the one who loves Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala being superior to everything else. So he says, and we did touch on this a couple of nights ago. So turning your attention to the wonders of the signs of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, which Allah calls you to look at. And he says, al-matluwa and al-majluwa, al-matluwa means the recited signs of Allah. So what is this talking about? Quran, right? So matluwa, the ayat of Allah as in the Quran, focus on the Quran, al-majluwa are the signs of Allah that are manifest all around you, the sun, the moon, the trees, the water, the stars, everything that's around you. Those are the manifest signs in the universe that Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala has around you. And he's saying when this contemplation overtakes you, then there's not going to be any space for the shaitan to whisper
and to pass his suggestions to you. Now think about this, you know, subhanAllah, ultimately shaitan advertises and he tries to catch you in a state of ghaflah, in a state of heedlessness. Now if you're connecting everything around you to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, so you're doing dhikr because your habit to do dhikr, right? Walking, you're doing dhikr, you're thinking about Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, you're listening to something that is a dhikr. But then if you're constantly looking around yourself, one of the descriptions of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam, وكان كثيرا مما يرفع رأسه إلى السماء. Sallallahu alayhi wasallam. It was very normal to see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam suddenly do this. Like كثيرا مما يرفع رأسه إلى السماء, it was common to just suddenly see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam's head go up and start looking at the sky, looking at the signs of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. Now, I think that we would literally be described as the opposite now, like our habits, suddenly your eyes go down to the screen, right? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is literally the opposite. كان كثيرا مما يرفع رأسه إلى السماء, sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Once you're connecting all of these signs of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to Allah, then it will be harder for you to forget Allah and the shaitan is only able to tempt you in a state of forgetfulness. MashaAllah, Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala commands us here. Imam Ibn Qayyim says, Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala commands you to reflect on these ayat and these signs of Allah azza wa jalla. When he says, سبحانه وتعالى وفي أنفسكم أفألا تبصرون Look within yourself. Don't you see your own creation? وفي الأرض آيات الموقنين There are signs for those who reflect on the earth and also في السماء رزقهما توعدون Look at the heavens, how Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala has written your rizq in it. So signs are all around us and unfortunately, sometimes as simple as I would say or some a very simple person, a Bedouin would have better understanding of this than someone who is
MashaAllah with high level of sophisticated education in our time. Which happened one time, a Bedouin was once asked, قَالَ كَيْف عَرَفْتَ اللَّهِ A Bedouin lives in the desert. He was asked, كَيْف عَرَفْتَ اللَّهِ How come you're so religious? You're so spiritual. How did you know? How did you come to know Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala? He just mentioned what he observed around him. He says, قَالَ Look, الْبَعَرَةَ تَدُلُّ عَلَى الْبَعِيرِ Because the dropping of a camel proves a camel went through this, because it came here. وَأَثَارُ الْأَقْدَامَ تَدُلُّ عَلَى الْمَسِيرِ When you see footprints in the sand, you realize someone must have walked through this. And he goes, قَالَ فَالسَّمَاءُ ذَاتُ أَبْرَاجٍ وَأَرْضٌ ذَاتُ فِجَاجٍ أَفَلَا تَدُلَّانِ عَلَى اللَّطِيفِ الْخَبِيرِ Because I look at the sky and I see all these magnificent, you know, signs up there. سَمَاءُ ذَاتُ أَبْرَاجٍ All these zodiacs and stars and in the sky. And then all these valleys and paths that you see on Earth in the mountains and so on. Aren't they enough to tell you that there is someone who's عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ Very knowledgeable, سُبْحَانَهُمْ وَتَعَالَىٰ All knowing that he designed this. So for him, observing Allah's creation made him realize, Look, Allah is talking to me through all these things. So Ibn Qayyim in this point, what he's saying, Look, if you reflect on Allah's words in the Qur'an and Allah's signs in this creation, you will constantly be in conversation with him. Because everything will remind you of him and you will be almost like visually speaking to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. You see Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala and his creation in that fashion. But if you look around and you don't reflect on it, that it doesn't really increase your iman or see connection to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala, to his creation, then the shaitan will have access to you easily. Shaitan starts whispering to you. And I think we mentioned this last time.
We said, look, one of the things that we lost in this modern society is connection with the magnificent creation of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. Now, you said that Rasulullah used to look up to the sky, right? To see the wonders of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. People now see the wonders of the sky looking down on their screens. They see the sunset, the sunrise, and see the stars subhanAllah on their screens. It's not the same as iman. Wallah, it's not the same. So Imam Ibn Qayyim once again, he says, look, you want to have a conversation with your Lord? Look at the magnificent creation, read the ayat of the Qur'an. Otherwise, if you don't do that, guess who's going to take that space and start talking to you? Al shaitan. Number 15. Al shaitan. So, especially for the note-takers who don't understand Arabic, I actually want to make, when we come across a point that sounds like a previous one, I want to actually note the distinction that's very clear in the Arabic. When he says, At-tafakkur, at-tafakkur, to think about, at-tafakkur fi-dunya, to contemplate upon this world. We already covered in a previous point, I believe it was point 7 or so, where he talked about the suddenness of death and how quickly you can be exited from this dunya. Here, He's saying, just like Allah tells you to contemplate his magnificence through the signs around you of Allah and of what is greater, actually spend time and contemplate on
the loneliness of this world, at-tafakkur fi-dunya. So you actually think about this world, its sudden end, how close the end is, and not to take from it such a lowly place in a way that would compromise the permanent abode. And he said, this is the characteristic of a person who is lowly and who doesn't have any dignity and possesses a dead heart. So he said, this person's regret will increase when they see the real value of the provisions that they sent forward and realize their uselessness. How much more will he suffer if he abandons what is useful to him? So basically what he's saying here. Look, if you sit back and you actually contemplate on the lowliness of this dunya, so what if Allah gives this to me? Okay, if I carry out this desire, if I get this, then what? Is it really that big of a deal? Is it really going to have my expectations of it been inflated? And then you realize, this dunya is really not worth that much. The moment's not worth it. The value of it's not worth it. And he's saying that on the day of judgment, when you see then the real regret, right, of having compromised what you could have sent forward to benefit yourself in the hereafter for what was left behind in this lowly abode, that's when the regret is even going to be higher. So sometimes, you know what, when you see people that have great possessions or have things that you think that you desire much, take a step back and think, is it really that big of a deal? Would it really make me happy? How come it's not making any of them happy? Okay, I've fulfilled this desire before. Did it make me happy last time? Why do I think this time is going to be any different? So he's saying actually take a moment to do tafakkur on the lowliness of the dunya as you do tafakkur on the greatness of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and you see the high signs. I want to add to this is that no matter how much you have from this dunya, because some of us might say, well, I don't really have much really in this dunya to even kind of like feel that I'm going that low in this matter.
Well, even if you have everything in this dunya, it really could be as dangerous as having nothing at all. And usually those who don't really benefit from this world or don't enjoy this life, those who have absolutely nothing and those who have absolutely everything. Because those who don't have anything at all, I mean, they don't have anything to start with, so they have to struggle to get whatever they want to accomplish in this dunya. And those who, mashaAllah, have been blessed with everything in this dunya and they're fulfilling their desires to the max, nothing else is going to bring them pleasure anymore. So what they have, it does not give them pleasure. Their brain develops tolerance to this. So nothing really can make them happy. Why do you think sometimes this is interesting? I always wondered why people do that. Celebrities, those who are multi-millionaires, their accounts are just kind of swollen with money, subhanAllah, and they're all caught in shoplifting. Why is that? Why is that? Every now and then you have one of those celebrities go to shoplifting. Why do they do that for? Not because they want to buy this or they want to get this. No, it has nothing to do with the value of what they're stealing or what actually they're taking away without paying for it. It's because they desire that thrill. They desire that thrill of being able to get something like that. So that's something in the dunya is the same thing too. So Allah is abstaining from the muharramat, to always desire doing it, but inshaAllah in the right way. Shaykh, this is like, the Arabic is so strong. ساقِتُ الهِمَّةِ دَنِيءُ الْمُرُوَّةِ مَيِّتُ الْقَلْبِ ساقِتُ الهِمَّةِ A person who has such low ambitions. لعُفَ الطالِبِ وَالْمَطْلُوبِ Like both the seeker and what is sought are so low. ساقِتُ الهِمَّةِ دَنِيءُ الْمُرُوَّةِ There's this idea of honorable patience and sometimes it doesn't come across so much in the translation.
Like, you become shameless, willing to humiliate yourself. Look at the links, like think about the YouTuber generation, the influencer generation. I'm going to do the next most outrageous thing to catch people's attention. Think about how people are willing to sell their dignity. ساقِتُ الهِمَّةِ دَنِيءُ الْمُرُوَّةِ Like you have no shame anymore because the idea is to be sensationalist, not to have any shame. So you're, you know, whatever is going to get this TikTok views, whatever is going to get these YouTube views, whatever clickbait I can use. I'm going to sell off all my dignity to capture someone's attention. Whatever I'm going to do to mutilate myself, right? And, you know, come off in some certain way just to get whatever I'm pursuing, which is that next, you know, spike. And he says مَيُّتُ الْقَلْبِ This is the scariest one. Dead hearts. صلى الله عليه و سلم We ask Allah سبحانه وتعالى to protect us from having dead hearts. Dead hearts. You see some of these people that have everything that this dunya could have offered them, and they are dead people walking. Like the only thing that's left for them is complete death, but they are walking dead. Even though they have everything of this dunya. Compare that to the person who has Iman. الحمد لله الحمد لله الحمد لله الحمد لله for Iman. Where a person could be sitting in Turkey and Syria right now, and have everything just taken from them. And wallahi, they're more alive than some of the people that are living in mansions over here. They're alive. Their hearts are alive. So this is a powerful thing that he's putting forth here for us to really contemplate. So we, last point, inshallah, wa ta'ala. Number 16. This is how it's a very, very powerful one. Maybe we can elaborate on it next time.
التي لا يسأل الله فيها شيئا إلا أعطاه فمن أعطي منشور الدعاء أعطي الإجابة What he's referring to here, basically, is a dua. What he's referring to is just, look, one of the things that you need to constantly, constantly be working on is calling Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in every aspect of your life. The major and the minor. The hidden, the private, and the public, always, always, constantly making dua to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. And that reminds me what Shaykh Muhammad Sharif, rahmatullahi ta'ala, that of all the things that he was really promoting to people, he says constantly making dua to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. It's interesting. Sometimes you'll be walking with Shaykh Muhammad, rahmatullahi ta'ala, and then he will just pause for a second and just kind of raise his hands, make dua, and just move into the store. It's like, whoa, what just happened right now? Just making dua before you get into the store. Whatever dua that he made is something that, subhanallah, keeps him connected to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. He says, because perhaps, perhaps, the moment you made that dua was the moment when the gates of heaven were open for it to be answered. So, ta'arroduna fihati Allah. Shaykh, if you want to check on the translation. Yeah, I mean, I think tomorrow we can probably, I don't know, Shaykh, would you all rather that we finish this chapter tomorrow or we move on to another chapter? Finish or move on? I feel like this chapter is so rich. So, this is point 16. So, if we get to these last five. We'll discuss it.
We'll continue them tomorrow, inshallah, on number 16. Insha'Allah. I'll mention one thing just because it's potential to be Laylatul Qadr. The most frequent dua of the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, Ya muqallibal qulub, thabbit qalbi ala deenik. O turner of hearts, make my heart firm on your path. So, the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, was asking Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, to give him what is constant connection. Now, Ibn al-Qayyim, rahimahullah, is saying if you're constantly focused on Allah, then it is inevitable that you're going to meet one of those moments in which Allah's mercy and acceptance is descending. So, think of it. I mean, subhanAllah, the best time to think about this, ta'arradu li nafahatillah, present yourself to these bounties of Allah, is these last 10 nights. If you worship all of these 10 nights, you will definitely catch Laylatul Qadr, right? So, if your heart is constantly turned towards Allah, and you're saying, O Allah, guide me. O Allah, forgive me. O Allah, make me firm. O Allah, Allahumma innaka afuwan tuhibbu al-afwa fa'afu anni. You only need one of those moments for it to work. So, if you're saying, O Allah, you love to forgive, forgive me, and you're saying it constantly over the 10 nights, you only need for one moment that match to be there. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, when he mentions that when the imam says, Ameen, say Ameen, the angels say Ameen, and if all of your Ameens coincide, Allah will forgive you for your sins. You need one of those moments to coincide with one of your moments. And he's saying the only way to make sure you're going to be able to do that is when you're constantly turning to Allah and saying, O Allah, help me. O Allah, keep me firm. You don't know which moment it's going to be that that du'a is accepted, and that Allah stabilizes your heart forever. So, he specifically says, you should focus on the one between, you know, between whom the qulub are bayna asbi'aihi, the hearts are between his two fingers, subhanahu wa ta'ala.
You should focus on him because the du'a that you should be making is, Ya muqallibal qulub, thabbit qalbi ala deenik. Ya muqallibal qulub, thabbit qalbi ala deenik. Ya muqallibal qulub, thabbit qalbi ala deenik. O turner of hearts, make my heart firm on your path. One of the du'as that, you know, that subhanAllah, the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he would say this du'a, he'd read it from the Quran. Rabbana la tuziq qulubana ba'da idh hadaytana. So, this is even after you've been guided. O Allah, don't let our hearts deviate after you've guided us. Rabbana la tuziq qulubana ba'da idh hadaytana. Fakayfa qabla alhidayah. You know, how is it then before you're guided? How is it before you feel that connection to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala? So, in these last ten, ask Allah to give you the firmness that will outlast these last ten. And if you're busy with du'a, then inshaAllah ta'ala, one of your du'as is going to coincide with that moment on Laylatul Qadr, where that forgiveness descends and that acceptance descends, and I pray that Allah azawajal grant us that. InshaAllah. So, an action item for all of you guys. Next time you grab your phone and you go on your social media, I highly recommend, put a timer on your phone. Seriously, put a timer, five minutes timer, so that you don't just sink into this without even noticing that. Just like Imam Ibn Qayyim said, you cannot quit immediately or instantly. It's going to take a while. So, maybe this time I'm going to limit myself to five minutes, inshaAllah ta'ala, because I'm going to forget myself as I'm browsing and keep swiping up and watching the next video and all that stuff and so on. Five minutes hopefully will remind you, hey, wake up. Remember you put five minutes timer so you can stop this. And hopefully when you stop that, bin Allah azawajal, you build that habit and you build that spiritual muscle that will help you build that spiritual firewall to protect you from all these passing thoughts. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect you from this, ya Rabb al-alameen. InshaAllah we're going to put the QR code on the screen right now. For those who would like to ask their questions,
again, keep them relevant please to the subject over here. For the sisters, one more time, if you would like to ask your question, please make sure that you have a colored Padlet. I know it's coming from the sister's side. Anyone from our online audience watching with us as well, feel free to ask your question and make sure to let us know where you're asking from so we can recognize these questions coming from out of town audience. InshaAllah wa ta'ala. So we've got our first question, Shaykh, right now from a brother. How to control desires in doing good more than you can and not overtiring yourself? So the rule that we learn from our scholars of Tazkiyah is that you quickly quit sin, you gradually build good habits. Meaning when you recognize a sin in your life, when you recognize something bad in your life, you don't gradually quit sin. Like you can't half quit a haram because you're leaving too much room there for shaitan to pull you right back into the full of it. You need to do everything you possibly can to make tawbah at the moment and put it behind you. When it comes to building a good deed, a good habit, that's where the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam really emphasizes at-tadaruj, graduality. Because otherwise you're going to have a high moment, you're going to peak and then you're going to quit it all. I'm going to give you an example when it comes to like praying the sunnah salat. All right, let's say a person decided this Ramadan, you know what, from now on I want to pray all the sunnahs. And they didn't used to pray any of the sunnahs. Noble goal, maybe some of you will be able to achieve it, but it would be much better for you to probably think about, all right, sunnat al-fajr, witr, and let me build in between over time. All right, I've got these down. I'm never going to miss sunnat al-fajr. I'll never miss the sunnah of isha or witr. And then the others are bonus during the day. All right, now I've gone a month, two months where I prayed these and I missed only a few days here or there. I think I'm ready to add on the sunnah of dhuhr
and hold myself accountable to it. All right, that's how you build good habits. So you build good habits with gradualism. You leave off sin with the willingness to feel that initial burn, to feel that initial parting from that sin, and to turn back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. A question from the sisters. If you are patient when you're trying to turn something that is wrong at the moment, but you're taking steps to make it right and halal in the eyes of Allah azawajal, then is this type of patience and persistence valid? I feel like giving a Sa'd Taslim answer here. That sounds like a very specific cause that's being made a little bit broader. I can tell you, I mean, this is painful for some brothers and sisters to hear. I don't even know if Shaykh Yasir feels the same way. And not every situation is the same. But if you're thinking that you're going to slowly make a haram relationship halal with someone else, you're only deceiving yourself. You are completely fooling yourself. That works like 0.001% of the time. You want to, you know, like so if a person is in a haram relationship and says, I'm taking this step, so I'm going to stay in this haram, we'll start maybe telling our parents this, this, and this, and that. We'll start getting people involved, we'll start taking that next step. No, no. We'll cut off, we'll make tawbah, and then we'll explore whether or not this is a possible match, right? No one likes to hear that. No one likes to hear that in the moment. But we say it from a place of love and concern for our community. I personally say it from a place of love and concern for my brothers and sisters. It doesn't work. So that's how I feel about that. If it's something relationship related, but again, otherwise it's a Sa'd Taslim answer. Book Shaykh Yasser Rajas for a counseling session. You can email him, you can call him. If you do that, I'll allow you to park in Shaykh Omar's spot, inshallah ta'ala.
A question coming from Alberta, Canada. How do we enjoy our dhikr all day instead of just mindlessly doing it? How can we focus on enjoying dhikr to just kind of like absent-mindedly doing it? So I actually was going to give one of my taraweeh khawatir, and I'll probably do a khutbah or khatir on this. The benefits of mindless dhikr. Mindless dhikr is better than silence. Mindful dhikr is better than mindless dhikr. What that means is that if the dhikr is just on the tongue, then it's protecting your tongue, obviously. But you want the dhikr to be more than just on the tongue, right? So it's better to be in a state of moving your tongue in dhikr and maybe not much more, even if you're not able to remember Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala fully, than it is to be silent. And it's better to be silent than to talk about bad things. And it's better to be mindful in your dhikr than to be mindless in your dhikr. What you want to try to do, inshallah ta'ala, is to maybe, if you're still willing to allocate the same amount of time to that dhikr, maybe cut down the quantity and learn more about the quality of it, inshallah ta'ala. So I'm going to give you a plug from now for what I plan to do in Dhul Hijjah. So you heard it first here. My Dhul Hijjah series, inshallah ta'ala, is going to be about the benefits of the dhikr that we always repeat. La ilaha illallah, subhanallah, alhamdulillah, wa akbar, and some of the deeper meanings. So know the deeper meanings, know their variations, practice them, inshallah ta'ala, and you'll find that they'll naturally start to have a greater connection. Also, it's the total package. So if you're looking at the signs of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala around you, if you're looking at things and you're connecting those to Allah, then naturally if you're connecting those things to Allah, you'll start to connect your dhikr to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as well, biidhnilahi ta'ala. Now, I'm going to go over some of the questions quickly, sheikh, inshallah ta'ala. So a sister from New York, she's saying, tell me how to be a master in dua. I highly recommend to look for the content of the Nation Builder, Sheikh Muhammad Sharif rahimahullah ta'ala, online.
He has so many videos and so many, masha'Allah, posts on the subject of dua. He really was the one who's always promoting that, alhamdulillah. So again, Nation Builder, Sheikh Muhammad Sharif, inshallah. How do we know that our sins are forgiven? Well, if you trust Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and you do the right thing, then you should trust that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will forgive your sins. However, that is trusting Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He will forgive your sins. But don't trust yourself that you've done enough. What does that mean? Is that quickly, simply you do your best. If it requires tawbah, I'm going to do tawbah. I'm going to repent, follow the rules of tawbah, make sure to reconcile with the people that are wronged, whatever that is required for this to be, the wrong to be, of course, done right and fixed. Then I put trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He is oft-forgiving because He said, if you repent to Me, I'll forgive you. So I trust Allah azza wa jal. But I always still have doubt in myself that I haven't done enough. I need to continue to do more, inshallah, tabaraka wa ta'ala. Otherwise, if every time I do something, I do tawbah, I realize, alhamdulillah, Allah oft-forgiving, khalas, inshallah, we're done right now. We're going to go back again to do the same mistake. So always try your best, inshallah wa ta'ala, to do everything right. And then trust Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He will forgive you, inshallah, azza wa jal. Question, how do we decipher the nature of thoughts when we're hearing the voices and whispers inside our head or mind? How do you know this is coming from the shaitan, coming from being hungry, because I'm fasting? How do we make the difference? So this is, I think, going to be like point 17 or 18 in this, where he talks about the lower self and the higher self. So if it's okay, sheikh, I'd actually rather we postpone that answer, inshallah. There are a lot of questions, by the way, again, on family issues, in-laws issues, my husband, my wife. So, jama'ah, we can't really answer these questions in a couple of seconds over here.
Because these are called fadkhusumat, which means litigations. It's really a matter of knowing both sides of the story, what's happening, who has the right for this, who has the right for that. I highly recommend for brothers and sisters who have these family issues to go to professional counsellors who can help with that, inshallah wa ta'ala. Book an appointment, sheikh Yasir Burjas. I'm booked through July, habibi. How do I find motivation at times of difficulty? How do I do that? So, first and foremost, be reasonable about what expectations you place on yourself in times of difficulty. The fact that the Prophet ﷺ allows for us some space for grieving, and even some space for pause. So the fact that, like, the idea of taking some days to mourn, three days to mourn, and to take a step back in the case of the death of a family member. These are signs that what's expected of you in times of grief is not what's expected of you in times of ease. What's expected of you is to hold yourself back from a response that is not favorable, and to verbalize the proper adhkar, and to not compromise your obligations, to keep your obligations. So when the Prophet ﷺ says, وَلِكُلِّ شِرَّةٍ فَتْرًا That everything has a peak, and everything has its course. And the Prophet ﷺ emphasizes the fatrah, when things run their course. When you're at your down point, that's where your faith actually shows, not at your peak. It's how do you act when you're at your down point. When you're at your down point, do you still pray your five prayers? Do you still do what you have to do? Do you still refuse to commit those major sins? That's what you're going to be judged upon most. And so finding that motivation, first and foremost, means reduce the expectation. It's okay in those moments to not be like super productive, when a person is going through a difficulty. And I would say, subhanAllah, find refuge in the Qur'an.
SubhanAllah, qiraat al-Qur'an, to read the Qur'an, is shifa. It's part of the cure. You won't regret it, if you take those times to read the Qur'an, with tadabur and tafakkur, with contemplation, and with introspection. A question from Marilyn Sheikh. How can we maintain our progress, when it's like, you're spiritually progressing at a seemingly higher and more consistent pace, than your spouse, and your family members? How can we make sure that, you know what, we don't separate, start going too far away from each other, that might create a problem, and issues? I mean, one of the ways of doing that, you understand that, look, this could be your test. When we mentioned that last night, subhanAllah, Allah Azza wa Jalla probably would test us. The hardest test for many people is to be tested with those whom you love the most. Your children, your parents, your spouse, this could be your biggest test. May Allah make it easy for you. Also, we can see that in the example of the anbiya, Allah subhanAllah has given us that the anbiya were at a higher level of spirituality, for example. Like Nuh, alayhis salaam, was of course, he's a messenger of God. What was his wife, ajma'a? An example of disbelief, as Allah mentioned here in the Quran. Lut, a messenger of God, someone who's a devotee, someone who's a worshipper, spiritually strong. His wife was not. Was even an example of kufr, disbelief as well, too. So, making this an excuse to quit having good relationships with our family members is not enough. You need to do your part. You need to continue to grow spiritually, inshaAllah, tabaraka wa ta'ala, helping your family members to find their way to grow with you, if it's possible. If not, then make a lot of dua for them. Just make a lot of dua for them. Ask Allah subhanAllah to guide their hearts, and you continue to grow, inshaAllah, tabaraka wa ta'ala. May Allah subhanAllah keep your heart united with Allah azza wa jalla. When should we stop asking for forgiveness for a sin we have committed?
So, you have the general asking of forgiveness, and then the specific asking of forgiveness. So, the Prophet ﷺ used to be in a state of istighfar throughout the day. In one gathering, the Prophet ﷺ will make istighfar more than a hundred times. رَبِّ اغْفِرْ لِي وَاتُوبَ عَلَيَّ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ تَوَابُ الرَّحِيمِ أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهُ وَأَتُوبُ إِلَيْهِ So, there's a general state of forgiveness that you should always be in a state of seeking. اللهم إِنَّكَ عَفُوًا تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَعْفُ عَنِّي Is a general form of seeking forgiveness. It is the most beloved dua. So, it naturally includes the previous, the present, and as we spoke about a few nights ago, even the future to an extent. So, the general duas are more comprehensive. You don't have to sit there and start to rattle off every sin that you can remember that you committed, and keep asking Allah for forgiveness for it. However, regretting your past sins should be to an extent that it keeps you humble, and moving towards Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى Once it gets to the point of causing you despair, and to become despondent, that's when you really, really, really need to move on. This is where it says, يَا عِبَادِيَا الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ Don't despair from the mercy of Allah. إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًۭا Allah forgives all sins. إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ He is all-forgiving. He is all-merciful. So, even if you think, Well, my sin's different. My sin's different. My sin's different. No, it's not. Because Allah is still Al-Ghafoor Ar-Raheem. No matter what your sin is, He's still Al-Ghafoor Ar-Raheem. So, stop thinking so much about it if you've moved on from it. If you've moved on from it, then let it be now a part of your general forgiveness, and be more introspective about some of the sins that maybe you're committing right now, and that you're exposing yourself to, even if it's just from a place of negligence and ignorance in the moment. Shaykh, there are many questions coming over here asking about what is the best du'a that will protect people from falling into sin?
What is the best du'a to help me develop these techniques against the sin? Some people are asking a du'a to help me remove a bad habit. All these kind of things. I want to give a tip. I want to hear from you, insha'Allah, what you can tell your brothers and sisters. And there's another question saying, I am fluent in Arabic, but when I try to make du'a in Arabic, it just goes all over the place. So, can I do it in English? My advice for the brothers and sisters who are looking for the best du'a, especially it's one of the virtuous nights of the last ten nights of Ramadan right now, 25th, and we ask Allah to make us among those who will live through and benefit from it completely and get forgiven, ya Allah. The best tip I can give you when it comes to the du'a, because people keep asking, can I have a line of du'a that I can benefit from? I say, look, the best du'a that you can make is the one that comes from the heart. Whether it's Arabic, English, French, whatever language that you talk. Because it's your conversation with Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, and when you need to ask Allah, ask Him in a meaningful way. I remember Shaykh al-Shayqiti, our teacher in Medina, he said something I never forgot, wallahi. He was asked about people who make tawaf around the Ka'bah, holding in their hands the du'a, Rabbana, Rabbana, all that stuff and so on. He goes, it's not that it's haram to do that, he goes, but look how miserable the condition of the ummah right now. That we reached a level we don't even know how to ask Allah for our own selves. That we need to have help. It's your need. You're the one who's going through this problem. You're the one who's having this issue. It's your own need, so when you ask Allah, it's supposed to come out from the heart more than anything else. In which language, it doesn't really matter. Does it have to be fancy with rhyming words and so on? No, it doesn't. It could be even done in a very superficial way, but so powerful when it comes to the intention.
And that reminds me, even though it's a true story, but it sounds like a joke, really. One of the mashayekh, one time, he heard somebody in Arafah, he says, I was in Arafah and someone behind him, from Egypt, the Egyptians, they like the jokes about these things. So this man comes maybe from the countryside in Egypt, and he's making du'a behind the back of the sheikh. And his du'a was like this, he goes, يَرَبِّ إِنتَ عَارِفُ وَأَنَا عَارِفُ وَكُتْرِ الْكَلَامُ وَلُوشْ لَزْمًا Which means, my lord, you know, and I know that you know. Like basically, you know my need, and I know that you know my need, I don't have to say anything after that. Did he mention anything, jama'ah? See, did he mention anything? He didn't disclose his need, but his belief, his so powerful conviction, believe that Allah would know what I need, even if I don't have to say it. That's a very powerful du'a, wallahi. Unbelievable. People are going to ask you to write it in the comments, so they can start memorizing and saying it. That's the problem. Everything's like, can you give me that du'a? So please don't go back and watch that over again, and say, you know, it's a du'a from a muslih saint, you know, somewhere. No, no, the point is, is make du'a from your heart. I'm afraid this becomes very popular du'a, one day you'll be making tawaf around the Kaaba here, and people will say, Rabbi, you know, and I know. Your tip for the du'a, Jeff. Bismillah. My tip for the du'a is, don't memorize Sheikh Yasser's du'a. My tip, I mean honestly, subhanAllah, it is a powerful notion, like people don't know how to talk to Allah anymore. People don't know how to talk to Allah anymore. And I just want you to remember, like the sahaba, not all of the sahaba were even literate. In fact, the minority of them were literate. Like think about that,
like only a few of the sahaba knew how to read and write. So this is not meant to be an exercise of eloquence. Du'a is not an exercise of eloquence. Just keep it sincere, inshaAllah ta'ala. And don't be afraid to talk to Allah subhanAllah ta'ala, in the rawest form possible. We talked last year, and actually if you go back and visit the taraweeh, reminders from last year about the adab and du'a, the manners of du'a. So obviously not shakwa, not complaining about Allah to Allah. No, but turning to Allah subhanAllah ta'ala, affirming your belief in Him, affirming your own weakness, affirming His perfection, affirming His blessings, affirming your own shortcomings, mentioning the things that are beloved, His praise, the salawats on the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wa sallam. And just open your heart. Talk to your Lord. He loves to hear your voice, no matter how broken and simple it is. So just talk to Him. I want to conclude with another du'a as well that was heard by Umar ibn al-Khattab radiAllahu anhu, when he once was making tawafir on the Kaaba and he heard this man saying, اللهم اجعلني من القليل اللهم اجعلني من القليل Ya Allah make me among the few. Ya Allah make me among the few. So Umar radiAllahu anhu, kind of like surprised, he stopped the man and he goes, what kind of du'a is that? What are you asking about? Exactly, what are you saying? The man says simply, he goes, يا أمير المؤمنين I heard Allah subhanAllah says in the Qur'an وَقَلِلٌ مِّنْ عِبَادِيَ الشَّكُورِ Few among My servants who are truly grateful. So I'm asking Allah to make me among the few. So may Allah make you all among the few. Which Umar he said, قال سبحان الله كل الناس يفقه من عمر Like wow, everybody understands better than Umar wallahi. So even Umar radiAllahu anhu, he did not have that kind of profound insight in such a very simple du'a like that that he had to learn that from a Bedouin
who was just making tawaf. So it doesn't matter what level of education you have, what kind of level of language you have, as long as it comes from the heart. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will understand your need and He will answer you. May Allah subhanu wa ta'ala make this a blessed night to all of us. Ya Rabbil Alamin. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make us among those who witness the Summah of Qadr. Worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in a way that pleasing to Him, Ya Rabbil Alimin. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to grant us forgiveness of this night. Ya Allah. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to grant us full forgiveness, Ya Rabbil Alimin. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make us among those who be mentioned in the gathering better than this. And we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to guide our hearts. We ask Allah azza wa ta'sa to make us among those who see the truth and follow it. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make it easy to see that which is right and follow it and that which is wrong and stay away from it. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to guide our hearts to the path that leads to Him and only to Him. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make it easy for us to go through this path towards Him. And we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to confirm us and affirm us on this path until we meet with Him subhanahu wa ta'ala. And the way we gather in this place, I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to bring us all together in Jannat al-Firdaws al-A'la with the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam al-Saliheen wa alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
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