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20 Techniques to Master Patience (Part 1) | Late Night Talk
Ibn Al Qayyim (ra) lists 20 techniques to exercise patience. Join Dr. Omar Suleiman and Sh. Yaser Birjas as they go through 8 of these techniques, and reflect on other lessons and gems from Ibn Al-Qayyim’s The Excellence of Patience and Gratitude.
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Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. We welcome you back to our late night khadirahs from the Valley of the Islamic Center, studying together the book of Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah, the excellence of patience and gratitude. May Allah make us among those who are grateful to him, Ya Rabb al-'alameen, and those who criticize patience, Ya Allah. Shaykh, last time we talked from Chapter 12, those who are following with us, Chapter 12, we discussed together the techniques that Imam Ibn Qayyim was suggesting in regards to acquiring patience, how can you become patient. So we spoke about two things, inshallah, I want to see, please summarize those to us for one. Jazakallah khair. This is subhanallah, in my opinion, the most profound part of the book in regards to the practical element of things. You'll notice in these 20 techniques, because obviously we're not going to be able to get into the full of each of them, you'll notice that they're categorized, there's a grouping and there is sort of a prioritized way of dealing with impatience. And then if this fails you, go to this, and if this fails you, go to this, and if this fails you, go to this. So if you look at the first three, the first one was, it's laalallahi tabaraka wa ta'ala, that you have so much honor for Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, you realize the position of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and you realize that he's too high for you to disobey him. And he hears you and he sees you, wa huwa yara wa yasma' wa man qama bi qalbihi mashhad, whoever finds in their heart the witnessing of his ijlaal, of his glory, of his honor, will find it very difficult to commit that sin or to respond in a way that's not going to be befitting. So the first one is to realize that Allah is too high, he's too glorious, he's too great to be disobeyed in this way when the hardship comes. The second one, which was the really beautiful one, was the mashhad, was the witnessing of his mahabba subhanahu wa ta'ala, of loving him.
So you leave that ma'asiyah mahabbatan lahu, out of love for him subhanahu wa ta'ala, and Ibn al-Qayyim rahimahullah is saying that is the most superior form of obedience, that is the most superior form of repentance, that is the most superior form of patience. When it's not fear driven or even incentive driven, it is out of a love that you have for Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So you realize who he is, and then you fall in love with him because of who he is, and then the third one is mashhad an-ni'ma wal-ihsan, fa-inna al-karim la yuqabil wal-isa'a min ihsanihi ilayhi, that you witness Allah's blessing upon you, his grace upon you, his bounty upon you. And when someone shows you bounty, you don't repay the one who has been good to you with evil. And so it starts off with who he is, you know how great Allah is, and of course, like there's just a pure awe of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and knowing his power, knowing his greatness, knowing him by his asma' and sifah, knowing him by his names and attributes, like he's watching me right now. Then secondly, I love Allah too much to respond in a way that would be not pleasing to him. Then thirdly, the third one is, Allah has given me too much, his ni'ma, his blessings. If you go back to the saying of Ibrahim adham rahimahullah ta'ala, what he told that man, disobey Allah if you want to, in a place that doesn't belong to him, in a place he can't see you, and not using the blessings that he's given to you, okay. Now what's the raqt, what's the tie-in between these three things? There's a beautiful hadith from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where he said, ahibbullaha lima yaghthuukum min ni'mihi, love Allah for the blessings that he provides to you. Ahibbullaha lima yaghthuukum min ni'mihi, love Allah for the blessings that he provides to you. Meaning what? The more you know him, the more you will love him.
The more you know his blessings, the more that love will increase. So gratitude will increase you in that love of him, and you'll start to become more aware like of the things that he's providing to you on a regular basis, and when you're connecting those faculties and connecting those blessings back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, surely you will not use them to disobey Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in a moment of haste or in the moment of the pursual of the lower self, faqala sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, ahibbullaha lima yaghthuukum min ni'mihi, wa ahibbuni bihubbillah, wa ahibbu ahla bayti bihubbi. He said sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, love Allah for what he provides you of his blessings, love me for the love of Allah. You know if you knew the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as just Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam before the age of 40, you would love him anyway. He's impossible not to love for being Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. But we love him most because he is Muhammad rasulullah, Muhammad the messenger of Allah, the most beloved of Allah's creation to him. And then love my family, love the family of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam by his love sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So the summary of these three, Shaykh, and then we can go on to the fourth, is that walladheena sabaru ibtighaa wajhi rabbihim. Allah mentions those who are patient out of seeking the pleasure of their Lord. This is the personal side of things, the love of Allah, and the number four we'll get into now. If the love of Allah has failed you, then you have to go to the fear of Allah. Number four he says qal mashhadu alghadabi wal intiqam. I just want to remind everybody here inshallah that what we're reading over here, these techniques of Imam Ibn Qayyim rahimullah is suggesting in order to awaken that religious incentive by which you will be aware of what you're doing. And if you remember, we see that in order for our patience to be strong at the time
of calamity or facing a trial, facing temptation, then you need to have a strong iman. And that strong iman needs obviously a practice of knowledge. And for that knowledge to be useful, it has to be extensive so you know exactly because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says innama yakhshallaha min ibadil ullamaa. Those who truly fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, conscious of Allah azzawajal among his servants are those who have the knowledge. So that's what he's saying over here. In order for you to awaken that, in order for you to strengthen the religious sense of your actions, you need these things. So number four he says right now, mashhadu alghadabi wal intiqam. wa inna rabba ta'ala idha tamada al-abdu fee ma'siyatihi ghadib, wa idha ghadiba lam yakum li ghadabihi shay'un, fadlan an hadha al-abdu al-da'if, subhanAllah. So he says rahimahullah ta'ala that the realization of the ghadab, the anger, and the intiqam, the punishment of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So the ghadab instead of his hub, the anger of Allah instead of his love, the intiqam of Allah, the punishment of Allah in the place of his reward. And you realize that when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gets angry with a person as he persistently commits sins, nothing can withstand his wrath, you know of course not weak human beings and what this means of course rahimahullah ta'ala as he's saying here. What the scholars say, taqi ghadab al-halim, fear the anger of one who withholds his wrath from you. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does not withhold his punishment from you and so if you consistently and persistently violate, fa'inna allaha shadidu al-iqab, then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is certainly severe in his punishment. Yes, subhanAllah, I noticed something reflecting on number four in comparison to number three and number two. Imam bin Qayyim rahimahullah he explained mashhadul ghadab, the scene of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's anger with an individual with only two lines. He didn't elaborate much.
He says, the way he says it, fa'inna rabba ta'ala, the Lord subhanahu wa ta'ala almighty, idha tamadha al-abdu fee ma'siyatihi ghadib, if a person becomes persistent in disobeying Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, will definitely cause Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to be angry with them. Qal, and then he said, wa idha ghadib lam yakum li ghadibihi shay, and if Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is angry with someone, nothing can stand against that anger of Allah azza. Nothing can stand against it, qal, fadlan an hadha al-abdu al-da'eef, especially this very weak creation. You as a human being, you can't even stand against Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's wrath or ghadab. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us from this, Rabb al-alameen. So as if Ibn Qayyim, he says, look, just realizing that is enough deterrence. It's enough deterrence that if Allah is angry with you, you can't stand against him subhanahu wa ta'ala. You're putting yourself in such extreme, extreme danger when you're causing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to be angry with you. So as if he's saying, look, I don't have to talk too much about this, but if you make Allah angry, what's going to help you against Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's wrath and anger? Just like reflect on that, what he's saying. And then he goes to number five, qal, number five, al-khamis, mashhadu al-fawat, wa huwa ma yafudhu bil maasiyati min khayri al-dunya wa al-akhira, wa ma yahduthu lahu biha min kulli ismin madmoum aqlan wa shar'an wa urfa, wa yazunu anhu min al-asma'i al-mamdouhati shar'an wa aqlan wa urfa, wa yakfi hadha al-mashhadu al-fawati al-iman al-lazi adna mithqala dharratin min khayrun min al-dunya wa ma fiha adh'aafan mudha'afa, fa kayfa an yabi'ahu bi shahwatin tadhabu laddhatuha wa tabqa tabi'atuha, tadhabu al-shahwa wa tabqa al-shaqwa. SubhanAllah. So now you realize the first four techniques all have to do with a personal relationship with Allah. If you haven't been able to stop yourself with knowing who Allah is and then loving
Allah and then ascribing those blessings to Him and then the fear of Allah, now let's get to your own incentives. And so the first thing he says is the loss or the awareness of al-fawat wa huwa ma yafootu wa bilma'asiya min khayri al-dunya wa al-akhira, the awareness that you will lose out with that sin on both this dunya and this akhira and as a result of those things that you go forth with you're actually going to suffer in both of those realms. So he says that because of that sin you're no longer given any praiseworthy names but instead you go from being a siddiq to a kadhab, you go from being a truthful one to being a liar, you go from being a mudtaqi to a fajr, you go from being a person who's praised for their piety to one who's blameworthy for their consistent transgression. So you lose those praiseworthy names and you lose all of those praiseworthy titles according to the religion, all of your reason, all of the things that are good are taken away from you and he says subhanAllah in this respect it is enough to realize that the quality of iman, of faith, the smallest part of which is better than the world and all of it. One habba, one Adam's worth of faith is better than the entire possession of this world, that that can also be compromised in the capacity of sin. That if a person persists in sin and they let their desires overtake them then they may compromise their iman. How could you sell your iman, again an Adam's worth which is better than the entire possession of this world for this temporary lust, knowing that the joy of that lust will soon disappear while the consequences will remain forever. Imam Ibn Qayyim rahimAllahu ta'ala he quotes a hadith as an evidence and proof for that, like with doing that you're going to lose a lot, specifically titles and labels that
supposed to be praiseworthy and suddenly you become among those who are going to be the opposite. He brings the hadith of the Prophet and he said, a person who fornicates in that time, in that situation, is not doing it in a state of iman. What does that mean? You might believe that you're a mu'min, you believe this is haram, this is wrong. In the moment when this person is doing that act, while they're doing the act, they're not thinking of this to be haram. And therefore, that belief that this is haram is suspended from them for that moment. So the label that they once had as being mu'min is being removed from them in that moment. That's what he means by that. Which brings the explanation from the sahaba, he said that iman will kind of like separate away from them. Imagine it like some sort of like a cloud. So that cloud is attached to the individual. When the person is engaged in a haram action, that iman, it comes out as a cloud hovering above them. And he says, if this person stops or they repent, that cloud returns back to them or whatever is left of it. Whatever is left of that iman will return back to them. May Allah protect us. Ameen. You know, Sheikh Subhanallah, my khutba today was actually part of this hadith, taking off the garment of iman. When a person sins, they are consciously trying to ignore Allah and they are consciously trying to ignore consequence. Again, when you sin, you're consciously trying to ignore Allah and you're consciously trying to ignore consequence. Why are you doing that? So you can enjoy the moment of that sin. And you think about the messaging, the marketing of ma'siyah, the marketing of sin is live your life, enjoy the moment, live it up.
Think about tomorrow, right? It's live that moment. And actually, Sheikh Subhanallah, I may have said this even last year, but you remember John Edwards, Sheikh, who was running for president way back in the day when decency was still like a major thing for presidential campaigns. So John Edwards was supposed to, you know, he was like at the head of the Democratic ticket and like he was going to win the Democratic nomination and then it came out that he cheated on his wife. And he was promoting family values and all that. Right. So he was promoting sort of the good, the good boy image and the family image. And then it came out that he cheated on his wife. And I remember Subhanallah, not just the downfall, but I remember reading an article called the psychology of a cheater. I'll never forget it. The psychology of a cheater. And I was talking about how can a man whose wife had cancer, whose son died from a car accident, who's all about social values and caring for the poor and comes off as so empathetic fall to such a lowly sin. And they were talking about how a cheater, when they're in the process of that cheating, they'll remove pictures of their families, they'll remove anything that reminds them of their actual life so that they can enjoy their affair. They're fantasizing, right? They're living in a separate world and an alternative reality in those moments. When a person is sinning, when a person is disobeying Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, they're trying to ignore Allah in the moment so that they can enjoy the sin. And there was a brother, subhanallah, who came to hajj with me, sheikh, and he'd come to hajj multiple times, subhanallah, and he kept coming to hajj because he wanted to quit pornography. Can you imagine? He's like, I'm going to keep coming to hajj. And every year he'd come and he'd ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to protect him from it. He kept on falling over and over again. You know what made him quit? He told me. He said, subhanallah, one time, you know, while he was watching, he forgot to turn off the adhan app on his computer. And the adhan went off in the middle of it. And he felt so disgusted with himself at that moment that he woke up and he said, that was the turn, right?
Because he realized, to consciously enjoy your sin, you have to consciously try to ignore Allah. And Ibn al-Qayyim rahimallah is saying, start with consciously remembering Allah and then consciously thinking about consequence so that you can stop yourself before you fall into that sin in the first place. Similar story, but from a different perspective, Shaykh, when I was living in Europe at the time, I remember somebody came to me with a situation about somebody that they knew and they were asking, what's the condition of their Islam or Iman right now? So the story is, this guy, his name is Muhammad. And unfortunately, he was not really holding himself to that name, really, up to that name. So he was in that kind of lifestyle where he commits sins and so forth. So one of those moments, he had a lady with him and he was about to commit zina with her. And that lady, out of nowhere, he said, right when they're almost about to start with the act, subhanAllah, she's asking him, she goes, your name is, because you go by Muhammad or more or something like that. She goes, you're Muhammad, right? And he said, yeah. She goes, aren't you Muslim? He goes, why are you asking the question? She said, because I thought that Muslims don't do these things, subhanAllah. He was telling him, I thought Muslims do not do these things. You know what he said to her? He said, no, I'm not a Muslim, allahumma sta'an. Now I know if I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Why did he tell her he was not Muslim? Because I think he was protecting Islam. If I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, like he wants her to stay, believe that Muslims are good and they don't do these things. He sacrificed himself for it. He said, no, I'm not. And the Prophet ﷺ warned us against this. If someone attributes disbelief or kufr to themselves, it will fall on them. So in this situation, like I said, sheikh, he removes himself completely to justify that and make it easier for them. So the brother was asking what's the condition of his Islam and Iman in that moment.
And allahumma sta'an, obviously if the person was saying it out of really belief, definitely leave Islam for that. But if he was doing it again in his own mind, he's trying to protect Islam from his own sins and mistakes, so he removes himself completely from Islam, not to disturb this lady with that image, then may allah forgive him for that. And allah subhana wa ta'ala is the most merciful of all. In number six, he says, So this is where this gets, I mean, this is very practical advice. He says the awareness of subdual and triumph, the subjugation and triumph over the shaitan produces happiness, rejoicing and joy to those who experience it, which is greater, sweeter and even more enjoyable than the subjugation of their human enemies. So winning against the shaitan gives you a certain type of sweetness that even winning against your worst human enemy will not give you. And you know what this is subhana wa ta'ala, celebrate your wins, celebrate your wins. When you restrain yourself for that first time, you know, when you're able to overcome the shaitan for that first time, say alhamdulillah, smile, own it, say audhubillahi minash shaitan You've reduced him to something lower. He wasn't able to get you in that moment. And this is the situation of Umar bin Khattab radiallahu anhu, right?
Like shaitan got so tired of Umar radiallahu anhu beating him that he just stopped even walking on the same street as him. Umar radiallahu anhu was like trying to defeat him and he was finding such joy. And so the first time that you hold yourself back, don't tell yourself, I'm a loser, I'm gonna fall to it again. Say alhamdulillah, look, I was able to overcome it. Those of you that quit something in Ramadan, celebrate that. Don't go celebrate it with everybody else like, you know, again, this is the overexposure and like, you know, act like you're the most religious Muslim in the world because you just quit something. But to yourself and to Allah when you're making dua, ya Allah alhamdulillah, I left this for your sake. I feel good. Ya Allah, give me the ability to keep leaving this for your sake. Take the shaitan so little in his power, in his effect, reduce his waswas. You had him chained and you had him so low in this Ramadan, ya Allah, I'm conquering him in this regard. So celebrate the victory that you have over the shaitan when Allah grants you an opening of a victory over him. And that is sweeter. That's a sweeter feeling than victory over your human enemies. If you would like to even imagine that in a practical way that is easy to understand and reflect on, imagine a child or imagine yourself when you were a kid and it was your first time fasting. Imagine when your parents were trying to tell you, hey, you can still fast. You can still break your fast at noon, right? In our culture they used to call it siyam al-asafir, like the sparrows fasting. You know, you fast until noon and khalasa, you can break your fast. But then as you start growing older, you see the adults are not breaking their fast like birds. They want to even make it longer. So you say, no, I'm not going to break my fast. I'm not going to break my fast until the time for salatul maghrib. Subhanallah, I remember in our past when I used to live there, when it's time for salatul maghrib, kids are gathering around the table where the adults are breaking their fast,
and they're waiting, and everybody's holding a date in his hand and just waiting for the moment. The moment they hear the adhan, they put it in their mouth, and the joy on their face is what we're talking about over here. That moment of happiness and joy in the face of these children, you can imagine how much they're happy that they were able to conquer their desire to eat and break their fast. Their ability to continue and hold themselves, subhanallah, even though the temptations were there. And guess what? Even against their own parents. The parents were telling them, hey, break your fast. But this kid says, no. The parents are telling them, look, you're justified. You can break your fast. But these kids are stopping and resisting all these temptations. And then in that moment when they break their fast, subhanallah, that joy and that moment is what Imam Ibn Qayyim is talking about over here on a regular basis for the adults. When you wake up for fajr and you have all these shayateen over your head, come on. You're too tired. You have to go to work. You have to go to school. Allah ghafoor raheem. Khalas Ramadan is over. You can pray here in the room, inshallah ta'ala. And then you just say, no. You get up. You make wudu. You go to the masjid and you pray with the jama'a and after that you feel so refreshed. That's what he's talking about over here. Versus when people give in to the shaytan's temptation no matter what. That's when they realize that their level of patience is still at the infancy level. Remember Imam Ibn Qayyim, he says, look, when it comes to patience, it grows with you. So infants, they just have to be patient from not having food. When you become a kid, then patience against games and plays and the joy of playing around. And when you become a teenager, against the desires. And when you become an adult, temptations of the mind and so on.
So if people will always fall and give in to the shaytan's temptation, they're still at the infancy when it comes to their patience. They can't even resist ten hours of fasting. That's what he's referring to over here. So make sure that you increase your wins against the shaytan. Your stars and your checkpoints, alhamdulillah. It makes you feel joyful. Versus every time you beat yourself down because why did I have to do that? I could have, you know, waited for this. It wasn't really worth it. So you always blame yourself for falling into the temptations. Shaykh, I've got a story actually from one of the salaf, Wahb Ibn Munabbah. One time he had a captive after a battle. And the captive, I mean, he was showing him goodness and khair as you're supposed to. And the man broke the leg of his sheep. So he told him, why did you do that? He said, to make you angry. He said, now I'm going to make angry the one who told you to make me angry. Go free. I'm going to make angry the one who told you to make me angry. Just get out of here. Go, you're free. That's conquering the shaytan in real time. And when you untie those knots every morning, bismillah ta'ala, by getting up and doing wudu and making fajr, and reading your adhkar al-sabah, and just when you give charity, when he tells you not to, when you take a stand, when he tells you cower, when you do these things, the Prophet ﷺ said, إِذَا صَرَتْكَ حَسَنَاتَكُ وَسَاءَتْكَ سَيَاتَكُ فَانْتُ مُؤْمِنٌ If your good deeds make you happy and your bad deeds make you sad, you're a mu'min. That's a sign of belief that after you do a good deed, you're not proud, you're happy, you're content, you're satisfied. Alhamdulillah, I won today against the shaytan. Let me keep winning against him. Ibn Qayyimur Rahim Allah concludes this actually, this point, saying that, وَهُوَ كَعَقِبَةِ شُرُبِ الدَّوَاءِ النَّافِعِ الَّذِي أَزَالَ دَاءَ الْجَسَدِ He goes, doing that, it's just like when you drink the medicine or take the medication.
It might be bitter, it might be sour, it might taste horrible, and you don't like it at all, but guess what? You still do it, and it will heal your body. And he says the same thing. When you resist all these temptations, yes, it's bitter, it's difficult, it's hard, but then it will heal your soul. So the ramification and the result of it is in your favor, which means make sure that you always try to conquer and win against the shaytan. Number seven. He says, number seven, مَشْهَدُ الْعِوَضِ وَهُوَ مَا وَعَدَ اللَّهُ سُبْحَانَهُ مِنْ تَعْوِيدِ مَنْ تَرَكَ الْمَحَالِمَ لِأَجْلِهِ وَنَهَى نَفْسَهُ عَنْ هَوَاهَا وَلِوَازِنَهُ بَيْنَ الْعِوَضِ وَالْمُعَوِّضِ فَأَيُّهُمَا كَانَ أَوْلَى بِالْإِيطَارِ اِخْتَارَهُ وَارْطَضَاهُ لِنَفْسَهُ I think that, you know, one of the things that you think about here is the visualization of reward. You know, some people will say, why is it, you know, I don't, I'm doing it, let's be, this is my disclaimer, I'm doing a whole series on Jannah for Ramadan, alright? So, these comments are particularly a little bit, like, bothersome. When someone says, why do we even need Jannah? You know, why do I even need to hear about Jannah? Allah created you and Allah knows you. Allah created me and Allah knows me. Therefore, when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala chooses to talk about the details of this reward to diminish your appetite of the things that are displeasing to Him
and could compromise His reward, His pleasure, it's because He knows you. And it's okay to believe in these incentives and to let those incentives drive you and this is not a means of undermining your love of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, that you want His Jannah, you're asking for His Jannah. And this is where the scholars say, and this is actually a way to break it up into two, Imam bin Rajab rahim Allah ta'ala, I forget which book he does this in, but he compared the two and he put them side by side. He said, you love Allah and that you will not choose anyone over Allah in this dunya. You love Allah's reward and that you will not choose to reward your nafs in this dunya if that means you're going to sacrifice His reward. And so those two things are actually in harmony with one another, that I love Allah and I love what Allah has promised me and it is not worth losing my relationship with Allah nor losing the reward that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has promised me. Ibn Tayyib rahim Allah ta'ala in this point, he did not even mention what the compensation is. He said, look, this is the position of the compensation, what Allah has compensated you with. And what it is exactly, what is the reward that you're going to get? He says, whatever Allah promised. He's just telling you whatever Allah promised. And as a believer, you should know what Allah is promising you with. You should know the details of that. If you read the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, they would know exactly what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is promising you with, the details of Jannah and its reward and all these beautiful things and so on. There is no doubt in that. So Ibn Tayyib rahim Allah, he just left it for you to imagine. He says, look, think about the compensation. All what Allah promised you with. And then compare these two things. The one that Allah is promising you with and the one that the shaytan is promising you with. Like, hey, do this and that's what you get as a result of that.
The shaytan is tempting you, telling you if you do this, you're going to feel this way, you're going to feel this way. But then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is telling you, if you stay away from this, I'll get you this and I'll get you this. And compare, he says, compare these two things and choose for yourself which one you're willing to give up for the other one. And choose wisely. Subhanallah, there's a saying also Ibn Tayyib rahim Allah said that a sin is a temporary moment of pleasure followed by a lifetime of regret. Whereas a good deed is a temporary moment of struggle followed by a lifetime of pleasure. So choose the temporary moment of struggle with the lifetime of pleasure over the temporary moment of pleasure with the lifetime of struggle that follows it. Point number eight that he says that will help you inshallah increase your religious position with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and that knowledge. And the purpose here is the special position. As Allah said, Allah is with those who are patient. And Allah said, Allah is with those who are righteous and those who do good. And Allah said, Allah is with those who do good. So this special position is better and more beneficial in this world and in the hereafter. Than one who has fulfilled his desire from the beginning of his life to the end of his life. So how can it be increased by a temporary moment of pleasure over a short period of time? It is only like a dream that is sleeping or like a shadow that is rising. That Allah be your companion.
Now what's the difference between this and the first three? This is actually the reward itself of Allah's companionship versus the incentive of your personal relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. You're not wanting to compromise his love and these types of things. But actually wanting the feeling of his closeness. Wanting the feeling of his companionship. Wanting to be in that extra category. And the believer does not just seek to be just a Muslim. Seek to be a wali of Allah. Who told you you can't be a wali of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala? وَتَوَلَّنِي فِي مَنْ تَوَلَيْتِ Who told you you can't come under his special guardianship? Who told you you can't reach that level and be amongst those people that have that special ma'iyyah, that special closeness to him? And he mentions the ayat that talk about المعيّة الخاصة كقوله إن الله مع صابرين That specific companionship, that special companionship. Allah is with the patient. And he's saying إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ لَذِينَ تَقَوْا وَلَذِينَهُمْ مُحْسِنُونَ Allah is with those who are conscious of him. And those who do good deeds. And then finally وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَمَعَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ And verily Allah is with the good doers. Notice the comparison between these three things, by the way. The first one is a person who is patient. Which includes hardship and desire. The second one مَعَ الَّذِينَ التَّقَوْا Those who specifically restrain themselves from sin. Okay. And they do good deeds. The third one. Allah is with those who excel in their good deeds. They do actions of excellence. They're not just getting by. They're actually trying to do more. And he says, listen. This type of ma'iyyah. Allah being with you. Allah as your companion. That is better to you in this dunya and in the hereafter. Than the pleasure of a man who satisfies his desires in full. From the beginning to its end.
How can a person not prefer that joy of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. Being your friend, being your companion. To a disturbing and corrupting short-lived joy. Which is just another moving shadow. It's just a fantasy. It's just another shadow that you chase. That moves on from you and you actually achieve nothing. SubhanAllah, even the visualization here. A shadow that you're trying to chase. Versus the ma'iyyah of Allah. Allah being with you that you can have. And that you can actually perceive. That closeness and that companionship of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. Why do you aim so low? Why do you aim so low? Just to be getting by with your religion. Why not aim and say, ya Allah, make me a friend. Oh Allah, let me be your friend. Oh Allah, let me be from your awliya. Oh Allah, let me have your companionship. And I think a very practical form of this too, sheikh. Is that if you practice these first six, seven things. You're probably going to find your friend circle shrinking. You're going to find your friend circle shrinking. Because the more serious you get about life. The more incentivized you are by the hereafter. The more connected you get to Allah. You're just going to find that less people are going to want to be with you in that. Because their pursuits are going to be different. Their interests are going to be different. Their priorities are going to be different. The way they talk is going to be different. The things they pursue that's going to be different. You're either going to fall back into your lower standards to get with them. Or you're going to find yourself in ghurba, estranged from them. Because you're aiming higher. Not because you're rude. Not because you're a jerk. Not because you talk down to people in a condescending way. But you're finding that what you're attracted to now. And what you want is different from what people want. And so your friend circle gets smaller. And that's where that connection with Allah becomes so much more compelling.
May Allah make us amongst those that have that specific companionship. Why do we need ma'iyya anyway? Why do we need this kind of companionship with Allah? It's interesting. Just before we came here, my son was asking me again about the meaning of the word rafiq in the Arabic language. Which means companion. And when you use it by saying rafiq al-darb, which means the road companion or the travel buddy. Why is it so intimate when you hear those words put in together? Because as humans, when we are on a journey, we don't want to be alone. We love to have a companion with us, really. Someone that you can enjoy those moments together. Maybe not necessarily to take selfies or pictures. But at least someone with whom you feel that, you know what? I want to be with them on that journey. Imagine on that journey to Allah, the one, the companion that is with you is Allah. Imagine if that's your situation. Ibn Qayyim refers to two paths. He said, do not be deceived by the path of the shaytan. Even though those who go through this, there are so many. They're ruined. But there are so many. And don't be sad by the path to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. No matter how little the number of people walking on that path. Dear Lord, Shaykh, as you start becoming more religious and more, you know, to it, you will start having less and less people interested in that path of yours. Because people, they would like to be, you know, in the easy life of the dunya, subhanAllah. And that reminds me, in the sense we all would love to have companions, we always look for the best companionship, probably. People would like to be with this person, that person. Unfortunately, nowadays, it's all about celebrity status and names and fames, unfortunately. Not for the right reason. But at the time of the Prophet ﷺ, one time the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, he was on a journey. And there was a young man with him that he was traveling with him, serving the Prophet ﷺ.
Serving him with the wudu and carrying the water for him and helping him with his luggage and so on. So when the Prophet ﷺ arrived, he always rewards the people who help out. So the Prophet ﷺ told this young man, he goes, Qal, sell me, ask me, how can I reward you for your service? This young man, unbelievable, the way, subhanAllah, he thought about it in that moment. He realized this statement from the Prophet ﷺ is just like a wish granted. Imagine if you've been given a wish that is granted. What would you ask for? So this young man, he asked the Prophet ﷺ, Qal, I want to be your companion in Jannah. Can you imagine how lofty that goal is? Like the Prophet ﷺ, just to serve him on the road, he asked him, how can I reward you for this? He goes, I want to be your friend in Jannah. And the Prophet ﷺ, he was shocked by the request. Even he was taken aback and he goes, Anything else I can grant you for you? Like, I can't guarantee this for you. And the man, he goes, that's it. You give me this? So he put the Prophet ﷺ in this situation. Like, I want to reward you, but I want to reward you with something I can guarantee for you. But that something is not in my hand to even guarantee to you. But the man insisted, he goes, if you want me to do this, you're going to give me something? I want to be your friend in Jannah, your companionship in Jannah. Because, look, if you become the companion of the Prophet ﷺ in Jannah, where are you going to be in Jannah? The VIP, everywhere you go. Everywhere you go, the VIP places, right? You go to conferences and you go with Shaykh Omar, you know, as a companion. You end up where? In the backstage rooms and all these things. Other people, you know, just like, whoa, where you been there? Right? Subhanallah, and that's, we're just humans. We're just humans. Imagine you are now with the Prophet ﷺ in Jannah.
So the Prophet ﷺ gave him, alhamdulillah, an answer to all of us that we can benefit from. All of us, we can equally benefit from. The Prophet ﷺ said, okay then, Help me out, help me out to get you there by increasing your sujood. Which means, pray a lot. Pray a lot. You might say, wait a minute, I mean, I thought we have only five daily prayers, right? Yeah, my kids, my little kids, any kid can pray the five daily prayers. The competition is in the voluntary ones. It's the optional ones. It's praying tahajjud, praying ad-duha, praying, you know, different times of the day and the night. Because when you do that, you are in a companionship with the Lord ﷻ. You are always with Him in salah. And definitely, you deserve to be among those who will be in the elite and be in Jannah. May Allah make us all among them, Ya Rabb al-'alameen. Sheikh, subhanAllah, I was just reflecting. If you look at the last person to enter into Jannah, that the Prophet ﷺ talked about, as he's making asks of Allah, he never mentions being with the Prophet ﷺ, he never mentions being with Allah. He's like, I want this palace, I want this tree, I want this. This is the lowest mu'min in Jannah, the lowest believer. But when the sahaba talked about Jannah, they just wanted to be with the Prophet ﷺ. Their aspiration was Jannah is being with the Prophet ﷺ. So even the difference in the ask, and subhanAllah, tomorrow is the 25th day, the 26th lesson of the Jannah series is actually about al-firdaws. It's actually about adn and al-firdaws and wasilah and being with the Prophet ﷺ. And then 27th is being with Allah ﷻ. That desire to be with Allah and His Messenger ﷺ, you'll get the best palaces anyway. You'll get the best waterfalls anyway. You'll get the best of Jannah anyway if you get that. But that's where you really want to be aiming.
And that is such a greater incentive than the material rewards even of al-Jannah. You know, Shaykh, that was also still good compared to what people wish for today, these days. Now when you ask people, they just want to cross the bridge over Jahannam. That's enough for me. Unfortunately, our incentive is becoming so low. We don't value ourselves properly, unfortunately. We do not really value ourselves properly. So as a result, what do we do? We just want to enter Jannah. That's all. Okay, what's your incentive? Why do you want to be in Jannah? Look, if I cross over the bridge over Jahannam, I'm happy. Alhamdulillah rabbil alamin. Why our aspirations, unfortunately, drop down to that level? Unfortunately. We need to be at a higher level, inshaAllah. Okay, number nine. We conclude with that, inshaAllah. Number nine, he says, These are, even the Arabic words are actually weird in terms of the meaning of them. So number nine is the contemplation or the worry of a sudden encounter, that something can suddenly strike you. And what is that sudden encounter? Death, al-mawt. And that death can come to you at any time, and it could catch you when you're unaware. And Allah subhana wa ta'ala deprives you of what you wish for, of the joys of the hereafter. And the disappointment is so bitter and hard that only a person who has experienced it can understand it.
And he mentions that some of the early scriptures, he could be quoting like a biblical verse or something else, O you who is not safe about himself at any time, and who is, I mean, you can't even guarantee that you can blink your eye another time. You cannot guarantee even the next moment of your life. And unable to even guarantee for yourself that you'll be able to complete the happiness or attain the happiness of that day, be careful. And subhanAllah, this is one of the greatest ways to actually protect yourself. You know, death has the ability to reduce the appetite that can lead to the growth of lust and can lead to an inappropriate response to the patience of hardship. But the suddenness of death can also make you think about, like, do I really want to die here? Do I really want to die doing this? Do I really want to die saying this? Do I really want to die around these people? Right? Like, is this really how I want to go out? And if you can't say yes in that moment, then why are you there? Why are you doing it? Why are you with those people? If you can't say yes at that moment, why are you saying it and doing it at that moment if you can't say yes at that moment? And so the thought of the sudden nature of how death can strike you is that. Shaykh, I'd recommend actually we just quickly read 10 because it actually connects to it. If you want to just quickly read it. Sure, sure. Number 10 he says, وَأَهْلُ الْمَعْصِيَةَ وَإِنْ عُوفِيَتْ أَبْدَانُهُمْ وَأَهْلُ الْعَافِيَةَ هُمْ أَهْلُ الطَّاعَةَ وَإِنْ مَرِضَتْ أَبْدَانُهُمْ So he's saying a true understanding of affliction, of trial and safety. And he said a person has to remember that the greatest trial, the greatest hardship is actually sin and its consequences.
While the greatest form of safety is obedience and the outcome of obedience, meaning the reward of that obedience. The people who are tested the most, when you think of test, when I tell you someone's being tested. You think about someone who is going through a difficult trial with their health. You think about someone who's going through a difficult trial with their wealth. But the greatest test is when you're being tested with sinfulness, when you're in a state of disobedience. And he's saying so the people who are in the greatest trial are those who are involving themselves in sins even if they're safe physically. And the people who are spared, the people of aafiyah in the true sense are those who are doing good deeds even if they're suffering from ill health at the moment. This is a powerful realization, a powerful realization. Because when the ulema saw someone who was physically hurting, they said, نَسَلَ اللَّهُ عَافِيَةً May Allah grant us safety, may Allah spare us. And when they saw someone who was sinning, نَسَلَ اللَّهُ عَافِيَةً I'm not gonna condemn or condescend or mock because I seek Allah's protection from falling into that. The greatest form of trial is to be in a state of disobedience. When you're spiritually sick, even if you're physically healthy, you are greatly sick. And when you're spiritually healthy, even if you're physically sick, then you are amongst those who are spared in the true sense of the word. And knowing that will grant you great patience with the moment because it will put in perspective the temporary desire or the temporary difficulty in that regard. I see our guest has actually, mashallah, just showed up here amongst us, Sheikh Saad Taslim. And if it's okay, I want to call him in to take my seat, inshallah ta'ala. Maybe to reflect with you, Ibnullah Az-Zar'an. You can take my seat. Oh, come on. You took my parking spot. It's okay. I can give my seat. Sheikh Saad, come on. You get your coffee.
I didn't agree to this. I just stopped by to give salams, so I don't know what's going on. Jazakallah khair. We do our late-night khatir as we discuss the book of Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya, the excellence of patience and gratitude. And right now we're discussing 20 points or 20 techniques from Imam Ibn Qayyim in regards to increasing your religious awareness that will help you increase your level of patience against temptations and sins and so forth. I know you taught a class at Al-Maghreb Institute in regards to the shaytan, right? Yeah. From that point of that perspective, I want to hear from you, inshallah, a few words, Ibnullah Az-Zar'an, that you can give, inshallah, our audience here and our brothers and sisters watching with us. From that perspective, against the shaytan, what are the things that you believe, alhamdulillah, from that kind of class that you can share with us? Techniques that people look, I want to increase my patience against falling into the sin. And here are a few things I want you to learn about, inshallah. Bismillah, bismillah, alhamdulillah, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulillah wa ala alihi wa sahbihi man wala. So one of the things that we really focus on in that seminar is how the shaytan tailors his methods of deception for every individual. So we kind of, sometimes when we hear about the deception of the shaytan or the tricks of the shaytan, you know, if you were to google, like, the tricks of the shaytan, there's, like, tons of lectures. Like, here's ten tricks of the shaytan. And in this seminar, what we wanted to do was take a look at those tricks, but also to make it personal. And so for that seminar, I would say, like, this is not, like, it's a study of the shaytan, but it's actually a study of ourselves.
Because unless we understand our own, ourselves, so our own fears and our own desires, our own temptations, what we want, then we won't be, if we don't know that, we're not going to know how the shaytan is going to attack us personally. So a big part of that is reflecting on our lives and seeing how the shaytan may come at me. So if we're talking about desires, what you may desire may be different than what I desire. Based off of what you have going on in life and based off of what I have going on in life, and I'll just be real, being somebody who does public speaking or is put in certain positions, I know the shaytan's coming at me in certain ways that are specific to me. And that's why, you know, we talk about, there's this one section of the seminar where we talk about al-kabair, major sins. And Ibn al-Qayyim has this very interesting section where he talks about when it comes to the kabair, and I don't know if I can say this here, but I'm going to say it anyway. He targets, the shaytan targets scholars and people of knowledge. And it's very shocking for people to hear that, especially in the seminar. And, you know, why? Well, because the shaytan, there's a couple reasons. Number one, the way the shaytan works is he tries to get the most benefit out of the least amount of work. And so we reflect upon how, like, if the shaytan gets a person of knowledge, a person in a position of leadership to commit a major sin, how much damage is the shaytan able to do? Well, number one, there's a lot of people that look up to this certain individual. And so if this well-known public figure scholar commits a major sin, the average person looks at that and says, well, if they fell into that sin, what hope do I have? Like, I have this person, so-and-so, so well-known, such a big scholar, I look up to this person, what hope do I have?
The other issue is, may Allah protect us, is that when a person is in that position, their ego can get inflated. They may think very highly of themselves, and their reputation may mean everything to them. And so now that opens up another door of a person wanting to kind of be tempted to try and justify and rationalize the sin that they've committed. And there's a level of power that a person has there as a scholar, as a person of knowledge, that the average person is not going to be like, hey, man, do you really know what you're talking about? There's already a built, a trust that is built for this individual. And if a scholar, and Allah says, فَاسْأَلُوا أَهْلَ الذِّكْرِينَ كُنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ Ask the people of knowledge if you don't know, right? That's the average person, that's our responsibility, ask the people of knowledge. So now the scholar may wield that power and say, you know what, you know, I know this is considered bad or whatever, but actually, there's a difference of opinion, and some scholars have said that it's actually not, and they may try and rationalize and justify that. So now, subhanAllah, if a scholar justifies a sin, how many people are going to follow that scholar in that disobedience of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala? So for the shaytan now, this is like a big, it's like, you know, say like he tries to get the most bang for his buck, like that's a lot of benefit that he's gotten. So that's just me in my space, but all of us, we are all facing different challenges in life, different tests and trials. There's things that we desire personally, like maybe job or relationships or whatever it may be. A lot of defeating the shaytan has to do with getting to know ourselves and being introspective about, you know, what are my fears, desires, weaknesses, temptations. JazakAllah khair, this is different, subhanAllah, very important thing, specific in terms of fitna, like ours, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us all. I'm going to, inshaAllah ta'ala, take extra ten minutes of your time
to go over some of the questions that we received. So if we can put the QR code up there, inshaAllah ta'ala, for any brothers and sisters who would like to send us a question. Also, if anybody from the sister's side, again, make sure that your padlet is colored, so I know it's coming from the sister's side, and if anyone is from our online audience, just let us know where you're sending your question from, inshaAllah ta'ala. Shaykh, a quick question over here from a sister, she says, but what if we have this sin we can't stop, and we keep stumbling into again and again? We keep doing tawbah, but stumble again. How long do we keep going, or what should we focus on more from this? Do we focus on adhkar, fasting, talking to Allah, making du'a, how can we stop that? So I'm just going to be, once again, I said I'm going to keep it real. Shaykh, I don't know if you've ever been on a Q&A session with me, but most people find it to be very annoying. Shaykh Omar said that's why I left. I don't like doing open Q&As, and I'll tell you why. When a person asks a question, I really don't know this individual. I don't know their personal struggles and challenges and what they're really going through. So for me to give an answer and say, you know what, you should do this X, Y, and Z, do this specific thing, it may work for you, it may actually even work against you because I don't know how you personally are dealing with this issue. There's so many ways I could answer that question depending on the individual, their level of knowledge, their connection with Allah, the people around them. So many things could affect that. If I had to say one thing, what stuck out to me in this question was how long do I keep doing it?
You do it, you keep making tawbah as long as Allah has given you a single breath to breathe. There's a hadith mentioned in the Musnad of Imam Ahmed, once again going back to the shaytan, in which there's a conversation that takes place between the shaytan and Allah, where the shaytan says to Allah, he says, He says, I swear by your honor, my Lord, I will continue to mislead the children of Adam. As long as their souls are in their bodies, I will continue to mislead them. And then Allah replies and says, And I swear by my honor and my majesty that you can do that. And I will continue to forgive them as long as they keep seeking my forgiveness. And that is really the Achilles heel of the shaytan. The shaytan cannot win as long as we keep returning back to Allah. JazakAllah khair. I think this question is also maybe tied into the same principle of open question. But it's very important because I think a lot of people might resonate with such a dilemma a person is going through. So a brother is asking, saying, When a person commits a sin and tries to ignore Allah for his pleasure, and then after that he may lose iman and will have whatever was left for it. The hadith of the Prophet ﷺ that iman comes as a cloud and whatever is left of it comes back to the individual. He says here, can that person ever be on Allah's good side? Like, I feel this had happened to me. Please help me out. Do I have hope? Yeah, so, bismillah. So the issue of hope. And, you know, I can't get out of it. I'm in the shaytan mindset right now. Is there such a thing as I'm cursed forever?
Yeah. Islam 101, y'all. No. Right? Once again, as long as Allah has given us the ability to make tawbah and return to Allah, we never make a hukam on someone else and say you're cursed. Nor do we make that hukam upon ourselves. The shaytan wants very much for us to lose hope in other people and to lose hope in ourselves. And that is truly the only time the shaytan has really won is when he has convinced us that there's no turning back to Allah. That there's no hope. That's the only true victory he gets. Anything else, he can mislead us for days, weeks, years, decades. A person may live their whole life in the disobedience of Allah, being tempted by the shaytan. The shaytans come from every different angle. But the moment the servant of Allah says, my Lord, forgive me. All of that deception gets laid to waste. And the shaytan is very afraid of that. So absolutely. Here's a question from a brother who says, what if your close friends are not as religious as you do? Not as religious, he says. So what do you do in this case? Do you distance yourself from them or do you stay around and be a good influence? What do you suggest for this individual? So what you do is you book a session with Sheikh Yusuf Burj Aziz, office hours. And you go sit with him and you explain your situation to him. And then he'll help you. If I might say something, the Prophet ﷺ says in the hadith, A person who intermingles with the people, endures their harm and their coarser fitna, better than the person who isolates themselves.
Do not intermingle with the people to avoid being harmed by their evil and so on. So there is reward in being among the people and enduring these fitna and these trials. However, your safety comes first. We talk about your spiritual and physical safety, obviously. So if someone being around these people thinking that, you know what, I'm strong enough, inshallah, to guide them to Allah. And then they tempt them and they lose their iman. In this case, stay away from them. But alhamdulillah, you build that emotional shield where you can protect yourself from whatever influence they have over you. And their companionship is not going to affect your iman and your deen, inshallah ta'ala. Then you better stay with them and try to guide them to Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. But Sheikh, what about when the shaitan comes to you and says, Don't worry, you'll be fine. Hang out with them. You can give them da'wah, you know, and you'll be fine. And the shaitan says, It'll be okay. What do I say? Huh? What do I say to him? What do I say to him? Yeah. So how do you know, Sheikh? How do you know if, you know, in this situation, should you have patience over their heart? It's actually at your discretion, which means a case-by-case scenario. Like, for example, these friends, they want to go to a party. And I say, These are my friends. I don't want to leave them there. They might do something bad. So I'm going to go to make sure they don't do anything bad. Bad idea. Okay? Don't do that. Because going there is going to be extremely dangerous. But you have a friend who is sitting around, and they're kind of like sitting for hours probably. I would go there for half an hour and just check out and see what the situation is. If I can give them something good, good guidance, maybe pull one of them out of the situation, alhamdulillah. But if it's going to drag forever and they're going to waste my time and my deen, then I'd rather actually stay away from that. So it's a case-by-case scenario. So the answer is, if Sheikh Yasser Birjaz would go, then you can go. So ask yourself, Would Sheikh Yasser Birjaz go to this gathering or not? By the way, I receive a lot of questions about family issues. It requires counseling.
Like saying, How much can I be patient with my in-laws? How much can I be patient with my husband? My wife is doing this. You can't answer this like this in an open forum like this. These are counseling situations. But if I want to make comment on this particular issue, those who keep complaining about the situation with their parents, with their siblings, with their children, with their in-laws and all that stuff, If you look in the Qur'an, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions so many family stories. Look at the family of Ibrahim a.s. Ibrahim and his father knew his wife and his son. When Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala spoke about them, how did Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala explain the situation between Ibrahim, who is Khalilullah, the most beloved to Allah a.s. What was his relationship with his father? Do you guys remember what happened between him and his father? His father told him what to do. Get out. Don't show me your face again. Otherwise I'm going to stone you. I'm going to throw rocks at you. His dad told him that. Ibrahim a.s, that's an example of him. And then you have the example of Nuh. 950 years da'wah. Day and night. Day and night giving da'wah to his wife, to his child. He end up with what? Disbelieving wife and disbelieving son. Ya'qub. Subhanallah. A household of prophets. Ya'qub. 12 children. What was the quality of the family there? What was the quality between these kids? They almost killed each other. In the house of prophets, Ya'qub a.s. And not just that. After all these long years. Imagine after all these long years, would you think that it's over, we should reconcile and so on. When Yusuf a.s. put that measurement cup in the luggage of his brother. And then he pulled it out in front of them. What was the first thing they said to Yusuf a.s? They couldn't recognize Yusuf at the time yet. So what did they say to him? They said, oh my God. If he did that, he had an older brother before. He was a thief too. In his face.
And for Yusuf a.s, it was just like I was about to forgive you. But you know what? You don't deserve forgiveness. He could have thought this way. And that's what Allah says about him. He says, in his heart, he holds it. You're worse people. Oh my God. You're so horrible. That's what he was thinking about in that moment. Why Allah a.s is bringing us all these examples in the Quran? For a simple reason. To teach us and tell us that your biggest test is going to come from those people. Who you love the most. Your biggest test is going to come from those who you would love the most. From your spouse, from your children, from your in-laws, from the people around you. Your family, basically. This is going to be your biggest test. So don't tell me you're patient with your friends or your co-workers or strangers. That's easy. Show me the quality of patience at home. Show me the quality of patience with your family. That's when you can come talk about patience with me. www.mooji.org
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