Keys to Prophetic Parenting
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Key #3: Du'a | Keys to Prophetic Parenting
Du’a is critical when it comes to raising our kids. It reminds us that parenting is hard and that we must rely on the All-Mighty throughout this journey. With the multitude of du’a for children in the Qur’an, it appears that Allah is emphasizing the importance of doing so.
Join Sh. Ibrahim Hindy in the third episode of Keys to Prophetic Parenting and learn about the role du’a plays in your parenting style, as well as the variety of different du’as you should be making for your children.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Once a brother approached me seeking advice about his daughter who he felt was falling away from the religion. After explaining to me the situation and everything that had gone on, he asked me what should I do. So I began to think about all the things that a parent can do for their child. And the first thing that came to my mind, I asked him, are you making du'a for her? Are you praying for her? It might seem basic, but it's actually critically important for a parent to do for their child. To my surprise, the man said, no. I said, really? You don't pray for her? She's your daughter. He said, listen, my son was always up to trouble. He was always causing problems. So I used to pray for him all the time. But my daughter, she wore hijab, she would go to the masjid, she would learn about her religion. I thought she was good. I wouldn't even think about making du'a for her. Du'a is critical when it comes to raising our kids. Not only is it spiritually important to engage in du'a, but it also deeply affects our mindset and our approach as parents in raising our children. It is noteworthy that throughout the Quran, there's so much du'a related to raising children. Realize that most of the du'a we have in our religion, du'a for eating, for going to the washroom, the du'a for this, for that, most of it comes from the sunnah of our Prophet ﷺ, overwhelmingly, and narrated through hadith. Yet the Quran includes multiple different du'a related to children. It's almost like Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is emphasizing in the Quran that it is really, really important that we pray for our children. Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, for example, mentions the du'a of Prophet Zakariya Alayhi As-Salam. Qala rabbi habli min ladunka dhurriyatan tayyibatan innaka samiAAa aldu'aa. My Lord, grant me from Yourself a pure offspring. Indeed, You are the hearer of supplication. And the du'a of Prophet Ibrahim, rabbi habli min as-salihin. My Lord, grant me a child from amongst the
righteous. Each of them, notice, are asking Allah to bless them, not just with a child. They don't say, Oh Allah, bless me with a child, but rather they say, Oh Allah, bless me with a righteous child, with a pure child. In doing so, they are implicitly asking Allah not only to grant them a child, but to aid them, to assist them in raising the child upon righteousness and upon purity. Allah mentions another du'a of Prophet Ibrahim Alayhi As-Salam. Rabbi ja'anni muqeem as-salati wa min dhurriyati. Oh my Lord, make me the one who establishes prayer and my offspring as well. He prays for both his children and himself to be amongst those who pray and worship Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. And another du'a is mentioned in the Qur'an for our children. Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la describes the character of the righteous people, the people who will be forgiven, and he describes them by saying that they are the ones who say, wal-ladheena yaqooloona rabbana hablana min azwajina wadhurriyatina qurrat a'ayun. Those who say, Our Lord, grant us from amongst our spouses and our offspring a comfort for our eyes. All of this du'a in the Qur'an and more repeating over and over revolves around our children, raising our children. It's meant to emphasize that this is incredibly important. We need to also engage deeply and often in asking Allah to protect and to preserve the faith, the iman of our children. In this is also the recognition that parenting is difficult. We need the support of Allah to turn to him, to ask him, to rely upon him. Even if we are perfect parents, there are so many different factors that can influence a child, their friends and peers, their environment at school or in society. In reality, as parents, we are just a means for our children to become upstanding Muslims. We are not the cause. Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala is the cause. He is the one who can allow us to succeed or to fail as parents. And we need to rely upon Allah Azawajal in order for us to succeed in our journey with our children. We can't
do this alone. We need to consistently connect to Allah through our du'a for our children. Even if our children are doing well, we need to ask Allah to help them to remain guided and remain on the straight path. But du'a is really important, not only because of it spiritually connecting us to Allah, but the concept of du'a itself forces us to identify our goals and to prioritize them. Du'a in a way is a form of goal setting. We have a limited amount of time in our lives. We're only going to live for a certain amount of years and we have even more limited amount of time that we spend worshipping Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala and ibadah. So when we turn to Allah and connect to him sincerely, we need to ultimately focus on matters that are deeply important to us. So the act of du'a should make us deeply think about what's important to us. If we are turning to Allah and du'a for our children, that means we should ask ourselves, what do we want for our children? Many of us are very goal oriented when it comes to our careers, when it comes to our jobs, but a lot less so when it comes to our family. What do you sincerely want for your children? A lot of people will say, I want them to be good Muslims. But are we sincere in that desire? Would that du'a be sincere and truthful coming from our hearts? One of the signs of a sincere du'a is that we work and strive towards the thing we're asking Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala for. If someone makes du'a, they say, Oh Allah, please grant me a new job. But then they sit on their couch, they don't bother applying for any new jobs, that du'a would likely be insincere. They haven't strived for what they've been asking for. So if we say, Oh Allah, make my children good Muslims. But when it comes to our time and our energy and our resources, we don't direct it towards that goal, then maybe we aren't being sincere in that du'a. I've seen this before too. Parents will tell me, All I want is my child to be a good Muslim. So I'll say to them, What are you doing towards that end? Where did you invest your child's time? You know, what does your child do after school? They might say, Well, they're enrolled in sports clubs, or they're enrolled in, you know, piano lessons
or have after school tutors. And I say, Well, it sounds to me like what's really important for you is that your child is athletic, and academically successful, and I guess musical, but I don't see your investment in them becoming better Muslims. Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions all these different prayers of the prophets and the righteous people for their children. Do you think that Allah mentions the du'a of Prophet Ibrahim for his children, and that he didn't invest the time to help them learn and practice and grow in their religion? His striving is what makes his du'a pure and sincere and worthy of being recorded in the Quran for us. What are some of the keys that can allow us to engage sincerely in du'a for the betterment of our children? Number one, write down what you want for your children. Try to be as specific as possible. You might write down something like I want them to be academically successful, I want them to be confident, and I want them to be knowledgeable practicing Muslims. Number two, make du'a for your kids every single day and every sujood. Ask Allah to bring into reality the dreams that you want for your children. Number three, define some steps that you can take. I want them to be academically successful so I will spend time with them, help them with their homework, or I will hire a tutor for them. I want them to be knowledgeable practicing Muslims so I will enroll them in an Islamic class, find a good Islamic studies teacher for them. I will take specific steps to help them achieve these goals. Number four, monitor their progress. Are they improving? Are the steps we've taken working? Or do we need to add or revise some of the steps that we've taken? May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala strengthen us as parents and help us raise our children to be amongst the righteous and amongst the people of Paradise. Ameen.
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