Qur’an 30 for 30 | Season 6
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Juz 4: Be Gentle to Be Influential | Ust. Lobna Mulla
What should you do when the odds seem against you? How do you keep going when you feel defeated? Why do your relationships feel unsuccessful?
Join Ust. Lobna Mulla with hosts Dr. Omar Suleiman and Sh. Abdullah Oduro as they reflect on Juz 4 of the Qur'an, uncovering Allah’s wisdom behind your struggles and revealing the three keys to victory.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.The odds don\'t matter when you have Allah. The odds don\'t matter when you have Allah. This is especially relevant in the current climate, right? I mean, it feels like we\'re outnumbered or out-resourced. Repentance is never too late. Allah is reassuring here, that look, I know you\'re going to make mistakes. There\'s always an opportunity to turn back to Him. If you want to have influence in your relationships, be gentle. To have influence with people, for people to love you and they want to be around you, you\'ve got to be gentle. As-salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, everyone. Welcome back to Qur\'an 30 for 30. Alhamdulillah, we\'re on day four. We want to remind you all, bi\'idhnillahi ta\'ala, to please go ahead and automate your donations insha\'Allah ta\'ala. Every day of Ramadan is an opportunity. Every day of Ramadan is a day of blessing and we pray that you are enjoying the Ramadan series as well as 30 for 30 and everything else that\'s coming out of Yaqeen and know that you invest in these resources. So while it\'s still early, bi\'idhnillahi ta\'ala, get in there and make sure that you automate and share the link. By the way, don\'t just share the link to donate. Share Qur\'an 30 for 30. Share the Ramadan series. If you\'re on a social media platform, make sure that you\'re sharing the micro-content. This is a part of your khair, a part of your good. May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala bless you all and accept from you all. Today we are blessed to have none other than Ustadha Lobna Mulla, Director of Tarbiyah, a repeat guest now multiple times. How are you? Doing well, happy to be here. How\'s California? Oh, beautiful. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. If you could please tell people from California, stop moving to Dallas. We would appreciate it. They\'ve driven up the cost of living here quite a bit. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala bless you all and bless our brothers and sisters there, the amazing work. By the way, I tell people this, that SoCal is actually loaded with amazing Islamic institutions, mashallah, amazing scholars,
and there\'s so much out there. May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala bless them all. We want people to benefit from everything that\'s out there. So stop coming to Dallas, go to SoCal if you can afford it. Alhamdulillah. Insha\'Allah Ta\'ala today as we get into Juz 4. So the lesson that I\'m going to be putting forth today is the odds don\'t matter when you have Allah. The odds don\'t matter when you have Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala. This is especially relevant in the current climate, right? I mean it feels like we\'re outnumbered or out-resourced. And the verse is verse 123 in Surah Ali Imran. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says, that remember when Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala made you victorious at Badr, so Allah specifies Badr, which is by the way very unique because usually Allah Azawajal does not mention the names of the battles. When Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala made you victorious at Badr, when you were a dhillah, which typically would be translated as humiliated, right? Or disgraced. And so be mindful of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, have taqwa of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, so that you may be grateful. First of all, of course it\'s important to mention that the battle of Badr took place on the 17th of Ramadan. Ramadan is a month of victory, so we ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala to grant victory to this Ummah in this blessed month. Allahumma Ameen. But this ayah is deeply profound and it speaks directly to the lesson here. The odds are a significant way that a person or a people can feel demoralized when they look at the odds. You think about Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, and I actually remember this reflection from an athlete, Muslim athlete, who was sharing with me that before a match, before they would play a game, they\'d be told by their coach never look at the odds because they\'ve got the betting odds and the betting lines. And sometimes it\'s so demoralizing when you look there and it says, you know, negative, so-and-so, and positive, like you\'re expected to lose by two touchdowns and stuff
like that because then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like don\'t even look at the numbers, don\'t look at the betting line, like you got to go in there and feel like you\'re going to win every single game. So sometimes just looking at the numbers is demoralizing. Likewise, when you think about Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala in our individual lives, you know, when we look at the resources on the other side, we can be deceived by that, or we look at the numbers on the other side, we can be deceived by that. And one of the things that we have to remind ourselves with constantly is that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala was never going to give us victory through our resources or through our numbers in the first place. And sometimes we\'re put in a situation like that so that Allah Azawajal can demonstrate to us that victory does not come through your means, and you\'re putting too much trust in your means. And in the case of the Battle of Badr, this is the first battle, so it sets the tone, it puts into motion the ethos, the psyche of the Muslim community. But this ayah is so profound, because Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says, remember when Allah made you victorious at Badr, wa antum a dhillah, while you were disgraced. What Allah Azawajal, as the ulama say, what it means here is aqillah, you were little in number, so you weren\'t disgraced, you were outnumbered. But Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is using that word, and of the benefits of Him using that word, is it describes the internal condition of defeat that could be there without Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala. That if you didn\'t have Allah Azawajal, when you went out there, had you not seen the miracles of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala already showing themselves, with the presence of the angels, with everything that was in the build-up to Badr, you would have been humiliated, you would have felt defeat before you even started the battle. I mean, you\'re 313 against 1,000, you weren\'t even equipped militarily. So by the way, with Badr, it\'s not just that they didn\'t have the numbers on their side. They were out on a sariyya, they were out on an expedition, it wasn\'t a full-out battle, they didn\'t have their armor, they didn\'t have their horses, they didn\'t have their camels, whereas the other side had full, state-of-the-art military-grade equipment, right? They had all their horses,
they had all their camels, they had the right shields, they had the right swords. The Muslims had their normal clothes, they had one or two horses, and they didn\'t have that type of artillery. So you\'re outnumbered, you\'re out-resourced. Had you not had Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, you would have conceded internally that you\'re defeated before the battle even started. But Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says, So be mindful of Allah Azawajal. Usually when the word taqwa is used, it means fear Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, right? It carries within it a warning, right? Don\'t make the mistake in the future when you have the numbers on your side to lose taqwa, right? So taqwa and tawakul, fearing Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala and trusting in Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala are two constants that are needed for any type of victory in an individual capacity or as a community. So that you may be grateful. And by the way, the ulama say the power of this verse is that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is connecting the beginning, meaning before the battle happened, to the aftermath of the battle. That after you won, don\'t forget to attribute that gratitude to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala that you won because of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, right? And many times when Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala delivers us in a moment, we attribute success to ourselves even if we have symbolic expression of gratitude to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala. But, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is addressing the internal condition throughout. So before it even starts, remember that you were a dhillah, right? And then Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says, an internal condition, so that you may be grateful in internal condition, right? So all of this speaks to the internal condition because Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala does not change the outward until we change the inward and that\'s when victory actually comes to us, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala. You know, it just hones in on the fact that Islam is an internal aspect, right? We don\'t rely on the tangible things. It\'s always that which is internal and starting with the heart and that\'s
And as the Prophet (ﷺ) mentioned that there is not a piece of flesh in the body and it\'s the heart, the rhetorical question for us to know that look, even though those circumstances are there, this is when you really have to activate and there needs to be an intensity in regards to your trust in Allah, in regards to your patience with the predestination of Allah and how he\'s prepared you to be better. So that\'s so beautiful. I mean, that\'s so many lessons in that regard. It really makes me think, it really sets us up to have an optimistic mindset, a positive outlook on Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala because oftentimes, yes, you review your own credentials, your own capabilities, your own situation, and you know, let alone the state of the ummah, right? Like on a large scale, but on a personal scale, you think, you know, it\'s not going to happen. It\'s not going to work. I\'m going to be stuck like this forever. We really get stuck in our head and we get stuck in this fixed mindset, but we always think Allah is greater. He can give you whatever you want. You just have to ask him and be patient. And regardless, this test will be rewardable inshallah. It gives you that hope, not to overly rely on yourself. Put your trust in Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala. It\'s freeing really. Within that process, and I think it\'s important for us to know, you know, when dealing with our children, with community members, you know, with people that are trying their best to be their best, but you know, sometimes they worry about what people may think about them. We all make mistakes. We\'re human beings. Sometimes we do rely on the tangible and then we need a, you know, a friend or someone to tell us, look, you know, keep your eyes on the prize. Even though you made that mistake, we\'re not going to totally judge you and know that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is a tawwab. Allah is a tawwab. He\'s the all-forgiving or he\'s the one that returns. You return to him, he\'ll come to you because tawba means literally to return. And that\'s really what I want to talk about is the title of that repentance is never too late. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says in the Quran, in the chapter of An-Nisa verse 17 and 18, when speaking about tawba, and it\'s really a verse of encouragement because Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says after A\'udhu Billahi Minash Shaitan Ar-Rajim,
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala\'s verse is so beautiful because, you know, many of us out there, we\'ve faced, you know, things that have really altered our continuance in our faith and being someone that\'s resilient. And we get down at times, and this is natural as human beings, but Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is reassuring here that, look, I know you\'re going to make mistakes. And that\'s what this verse is really acknowledging. That\'s why I love it so much. Where Allah says, and remember, Allah\'s acceptance of repentance is only for the ones who commit evil out of ignorance. So here, tawba upon Allah. And some scholars mentioned that, that Allah has made it obligatory upon himself, and he\'s the only one that can do that, to show the level of the desire that he has for us to be better by acknowledging the fact that we will make mistakes. And he says, jahala. Now, jahala is not ignorance, which is the lack of knowledge. Rather, it is, as someone would say, acting in a manner that is not considering the consequences of your actions. And you\'re not thinking about what\'s going to happen if I do this. Some would translate it as foolishly, but it\'s acting out of that type of nuance, and whether it\'s falling or desire, and you\'re not thinking about the results of that. So when Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says, this tawba is for that person. And that\'s what\'s so beautiful. Innama tawba ta\'ala Allah, upon Allah, is for the one that does this thing for that reason, or that was the motivation, following a desire that made them not think about the consequences of what they were going to do. Be jahalatan, thumma yatubuna min qareeb. Then Allah says, and then, and then they soon repent. Min qareeb, some scholars mention,
because qareeb means close, that they seek repentance soon. Some scholars mention that it is before death, or it\'s before the day of judgment. So that presents to us that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, even though within his predestination, we may have done that action, there is always an opportunity to be better. There\'s always an opportunity to turn back to him. And that\'s tawba, to turn back. You think, you ponder, someone says something to you, let\'s do a lecture. You ponder over, okay, what is the mistake that I made? And you turn back to him. You know, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says, it is towards such persons that Allah turns graciously. Allah is the all-knowing, all-wise. So Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is acknowledging here, and it\'s interesting how Allah uses the same verb. The ones that, tawba is upon Allah, for the ones that turn to Allah, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, he\'ll return to them in forgiveness. Why? Because he is aliman hakeeman. When we look at the names at the end of the verses, look at the context. Allah is talking about redemption here for the ones that really wake up. There\'s a time in their life, and like, what better time than Ramadan? When you\'re seeing the jama\'ah, or you\'re trying to make a change internally by yourself, alone with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, in the last 30 of the night, in the middle of the day, whenever, at a time of deprivation to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, you\'re turning to him and you\'re trying your best. That\'s all Allah wants from you, is for you to be intentional when trying. And that\'s where Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala will turn towards you. So it\'s kind of as the scholars say, that the reward is contingent upon the action, even internally. How are you feeling? What is your intention? Is there a form of redemption? Is there a form of feeling a sense of nadam, regret,
that your heart is broken, that you feel this, like your heart is broken and deprived without having that sense of security or knowing that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is there and he is all knowledgeable. That\'s why Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala ends it with, that he is the all-knowing and the all-wise. He knows if you\'re sincere in that tawbah, and he is wise enough to have this incident happen for you to make the correct choice to turn back to him. That\'s why this verse is so beautiful as a reminder for us that tawbah is always here for us, to turn back to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala. It is always here for us. As the Prophet (ﷺ) even mentioned, that the tawbah will be here until the sun rises from the west. So know that tawbah is always there for you to seek forgiveness from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala. And this, you know, really ending with the message, whenever I read this verse as well, as someone that looks at, you know, the friends that kind of, all of us, each and every single one of us may have a family member, a friend that, you know, they faced a bad situation in their life. They were oppressed, maybe when they were young, something happened to them, and it carries over into the world. The way that they think about Allah, and sometimes we tend to indirectly chastise them, judge them, blame them, but only Allah and that person knows what\'s happened to them, to where they\'ve had those types of thoughts, which comes into those types of actions, which translates or results in those types of actions, especially the du\'a and the parents, it\'s important to remember that everyone has their particular circumstances, give people a chance, be easy with them, and always know have the attitude of being someone that, look, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is Rahman, I\'m here for you, there\'s always an opportunity to turn to them, and not to be the one that speaks harshly to them, and is rough with them, and I think that\'s, mashallah, what Sister Lobna is going to talk about, Alhamdulillah, may Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala make us of those that turn back to Him sincerely.
I want to comment on something that, subhanAllah, just occurred to my mind, the hadith of Musa (عليه السلام) and Adam (عليه السلام), very interesting, because if you\'re reading the verse, you\'d think, wa kan allahu ghafoorun rahima, that\'s what you\'re expecting, the most forgiving, the most merciful, in which Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is amplifying His forgiveness here, but here Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is amplifying His wisdom, His wisdom in letting you sin and then come back to Him, and what that can result in, in terms of an outcome for you as an individual in the community, so with Adam (عليه السلام) and Musa (عليه السلام), when Musa meets Adam, Prophet (ﷺ) says that Musa says to Adam, you\'re the one that got us kicked out of Jannah, you\'re that guy, it\'s all because of you that we went through this headache, and Adam (عليه السلام) explains that, look, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala decreed that before, not that I am escaping accountability, no, Adam (عليه السلام) turned back to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala forgave him, but at the same time, what came as a result of this was going to happen out of the wisdom of Allah, and what did Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala say to the angels when they questioned, that are you going to place within the earth someone who will spill blood and spread corruption, Allah is alimun hakeem, I know what you don\'t know, Allah is all-knowing, Allah is all-wise, which comes in a couple of ayat later, so the idea here is that, whether we\'re talking about the community making a mistake, and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala admonishing the community of Muhammad (ﷺ), the best generation that ever walked the face of the earth, admonishing them in that regard, or as individuals, the point is that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is saying that stumble, first of all, you need to own that you stumbled,
but then, when you turn back to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, know that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala can place you not just on a path to redemption, but on a path that is so much better for you, that even the sin is now in your favor, even the sin is now in your favor, and that\'s from the wisdom of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, so it\'s from his forgiveness that he allows you to be redeemed, and it\'s from his wisdom that he allows the set of events that comes after to actually be in your favor, that\'s such a beautiful way to look at it, because I think a lot of youth, in particular, and even people as they grow in age, they have a really difficult time reconciling their past, and that can really eat away at them, and really affect their self-confidence, and just living in that regret, and that doom can be so harmful, but remembering that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is so forgiving, again, gives so much hope. I mean, imagine being one of the people who fled from the Prophet (ﷺ) in Uhud, how do you ever forgive yourself, seeing the Prophet (ﷺ) cry over Hamza, seeing these Ansar crying over their relatives, how do you forgive yourself if you\'re one of those 40 that left the mountain after the Prophet (ﷺ) told you not to leave it? Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says he forgave them, there\'s a wisdom in Uhud, obviously you have to live with that for the rest of your life, but Subhanallah, there\'s something that comes out of it as a result of it, and that ending is khair, that ending is good at the end of the day. Subhanallah, and I think that\'s a beautiful segue into the lesson that I wanted to talk about today, which is, if you want to have influence in your relationships, be gentle. Subhanallah, it\'s really amazing, this is really based off of the ayah in Surah Ali \'Imran, where Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is addressing Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), and really saying that this is a mercy from Allah, that Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was gentle. By the audhu Billahi min al-shaytan al-rajim, where Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala says,
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ لِنْتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانْفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ Subhanallah, it\'s out of Allah\'s mercy that you, O Prophet, have been lenient with them, had you been cruel or hard-hearted, they would have certainly abandoned you. Sheikh Omar, you just mentioned how, what a terrible thing that, again, out of foolishness, out of not thinking in the moment, seeing the treasure, that the companions, they disobeyed Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ). They made that mistake, and there were some really severe consequences. And yet, it was out of the mercy of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala that Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was merciful with the companions despite their grave error. And I think what\'s really amazing is that, look, Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), as he was giving the message, yes, he was not always a great world power in the moment, right? He was making strides, but always amongst the people, he was very influential. Until Subhanallah, he was the most powerful man, Subhanallah, of his time. It\'s absolutely amazing. I think a lot of times, we think to be firm in our relationships, whether we\'re a manager at work, or we\'re with our kids, or with our spouse, or with our siblings, or with friends, that we have to draw the red line. We have to have these really harsh boundaries. We have to be tough, and that\'s how we\'re going to have influence. But actually, here, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is reminding us to have influence with people. For people to love you, and they want to be around you, you got to be gentle. That word lean, Subhanallah, means soft and flexible, so that when a difficult time happens, you\'re not overly harsh with people. You\'re not reprimanding and really making people feel small. Really, truly, people remember, whether, again, it\'s parents and child, husband and wife, friends within an organization, people remember how you made them feel. In a good way and in a bad way.
And, you know, Subhanallah, there\'s so many studies and research that are done, for example, within marital relationships, that being harsh, being rude, you know, being demeaning, those patterns of behavior, if they continue, and in a significant manner, they will destroy your marriage. They will destroy your relationship, Subhanallah. And when we think about other, you know, relationships that we care about at work, and again, at home, if you do something that\'s negative to somebody, if you say something negative, or you\'re overly harsh with somebody, you need to make that up. And the studies show this five times, positive, as many positive things, you have to make up for that one negative interaction that you had. You have to interact with them in a way that is positive five times more than that one negative. It just goes to show you, being gentle, especially, you know, people are going to mess up. People make mistakes. The Prophet (ﷺ) could be gentle with his companions. It\'s such a grave error. Why can\'t we do that in our relationships? Subhanallah, I think it\'s really powerful. I mean, I don\'t know why my mind went to, I think because you brought up houses and such, but in California, you know, we have earthquakes, that you can\'t build homes solely out of brick. Of course, as a facade, that\'s different. Why? It\'s too rigid. When an earthquake happens, it\'s too rigid. What\'s going to happen? The house is going to break. It\'s going to fall. So, you know, in our personality, and when we\'re dealing with difficulty, the more flexible you are, like in wood, a home, it has that flexibility, has that ability to sway, so that the house won\'t break. And that\'s how we want to be in our relationships. You know, sometimes we want to say, we have to show somebody that they were wrong. I want to make sure they apologize to me. I want to teach them a lesson. But here, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is reminding Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), forgive them. You know, you guys just talked about how Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is forgiving. So, why can\'t we embody that, especially in Ramadan? You know, this is a time, again, through salah, through fasting, we\'re really engaging in a lot of state of introspection within ourselves.
Think about your relationships. Where are you showing up harshly? Where can you be more gentle? And you will find you\'ll actually be more influential. People will want to come and be with you, as opposed to running away from you, and definitely being more forgiving with people. May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala make us of those who are soft-hearted, inshallah, and easy to forgive. وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ You know, be forgiving and pardon. Don\'t you want Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala to pardon you and to forgive you? So, you treat the people as you want Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala to treat you. So, it goes back to, if you want that tawbah from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala, despite your mistake, how much are you willing to forgive someone despite their mistake? You know, subhanAllah, in the capacity of Uhud, because like Sira always grounds this. I mean, the Prophet (ﷺ) really loved Hamza (رضي الله عنه). I mean, he cried over Hamza (رضي الله عنه) like he didn\'t cry over anyone else. Hamza (رضي الله عنه) was his uncle, he was his best friend, he was his brother. His foster brother, like there\'s so much between him and Hamza (رضي الله عنه). And for him to see Hamza in that state, he could have turned on his people with such anger. And like, you did this and I don\'t want to talk to you for a month. I don\'t, you know, get away from me. This is, look what you did. We don\'t even have the names of the 40 companions that came down from that hill. Like, we don\'t even know who they are, you know, subhanAllah. Like, the Prophet (ﷺ) did not make them line up in front of the masjid for some time and like make an example out of them. None of that, none of that. And that, I mean, he\'s someone you want to be around, alayhi salatu wasalam. Like, to the point that, you know, it\'s funny that you mentioned that. Like, Amr ibn Aas (رضي الله عنه), all the harm he did to the Prophet (ﷺ), all the harm he did to the Prophet (ﷺ) over two decades trying to pursue, even tried to mess up Abyssinia for the Prophet (ﷺ), right? Tried to mess up Habesha. Fought the Prophet (ﷺ) in all these battles. And then just, you know, being a Muslim for less than a year, comes up to the Prophet (ﷺ) and says, you know, Who\'s the most beloved person in the world to you? And the Prophet (ﷺ) is like, you know, Aisha.
He says, and then who? He said, Abu Bakr, Abu Ha. He said, her father. And then who? Then Umar. He said, all right, I\'m going to stop here because I don\'t know if I\'m going to get a mention. He thought that he was the Prophet (ﷺ)\'s best friend. Less than a year of being a Muslim, with all the harm he did to the Prophet (ﷺ), that\'s the forgiveness of the Prophet (ﷺ). Even after you became Muslim, he still is going to treat you that way, alayhi salatu wasalam. So it\'s very simple. And I think we can, you know, really take this as a serious take-home message that, look, what you\'re asking from Allah in this Ramadan, make sure you\'re willing to give it to people. It\'s as simple as that. And that\'s what it all comes down to. Absolutely. Any final thoughts? No, I was just thinking, I was thinking about what Sister Lobna was talking about. I\'m wondering if you mentioned that in your, the couple\'s retreats, Mashallah. Oh, absolutely. We mentioned, we, SubhanAllah, are you talking about this Hadith of Abu Abdalas? No, just the, like you\'re talking about, like being rough and how five times it takes, you know. Oh, absolutely we do. Really? I mean, it\'s unbelievable. The small changes that you can make, that can really be so profound in a relationship. It\'s so profound. So we absolutely cover that. And we cover that Hadith too, because it\'s beautiful that Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) referred, you know, who was the most beloved to you? And he mentioned his wife. He could, you know, and this is Arabian, you know, and you\'re stating the love for your wife in front of all these men. I think that was powerful. And then even when he mentioned her dad, Abu Ha, not Abu Bakr, SubhanAllah, so both of those, yeah, absolutely amazing. You know, it just takes us to be self, just, you know, take down the ego a bit and be able to say, you know what, it\'s okay. I can change. I don\'t have to do, I don\'t have to behave in this harsh manner. I can change. And that can be a little bit difficult, but once you make that commitment and ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala for help, it\'s possible we can make those differences in our relationships, inshallah.
I want to ask, it\'s kind of, it\'s somewhat, it\'s related. Do you feel that like when these retreats happen, that they go out and mashallah, California, there\'s nature, mashallah. Cause you know, you\'re in the rat race. You know, as a couple, you go to work, come back home. What do you advise as far as releasing and detaching in order for that introspection to happen? Is that something that is paramount? Would you advise couples? Would you advise husband and wives with that? Like, does the husband need to spend time alone at times? Cause he\'s like, he goes, he comes home and he goes to work. And then something happens. And then he\'s father. So what would you advise in that regard, in this context of really having that introspection to where you even think about. Absolutely. That\'s a great, that\'s a great point. How do you even get to that point? Yeah. We are so busy and we\'re so stressed out and there\'s so much going on and subhanallah. And you know, what\'s going on in the world and our heart goes out subhanallah to all the people who are suffering, you know, with injustice and subhanallah all that\'s happening. We do have to spend time alone. And I think it\'s amazing to spend time in nature. You know, it just kind of clears the mind. Don\'t look at your phone, be in a quiet space and say, you know, how are my relationships? And how do I want to make them better? Do, do I see people running away from me? You know, I\'m sure you\'ve seen those situations where your kids, you know, they hear the door open and they\'re going in another room. But absolutely as a couple, then after you\'ve reflected it to go out and spend time alone, it\'s a game changer. It\'s a game changer. Because now you\'re not talking about dishes and laundry and bills and who did this. And you\'re just, you\'re focused. It\'s cool to show you how important it is to give things that are important in your life. It\'s due time. So just in conclusion for everyone, subhanallah. I mean, look at, we went, we go from the odds to forgiveness to how you want your own relationships to be subhanallah. Just think about it this way. Surah Al-Baqarah starts off with the redemption of Adam (عليه السلام). And Al-Ali Imran, we have the redemption of the community
after Badr and Uhud in particular. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala is lifting up people after their mistakes, after their slips. And so we ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala to be merciful with us as he always is and to enable us in that mercy to seek forgiveness from him. And we ask Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta\'ala to grant us as a result of that gratitude and victory in all of our affairs as individuals and as a community. Allahumma ameen. Jazakum Allah khayran to everyone for tuning in. InshaAllah ta\'ala, we\'ll see you all tomorrow. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
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