For Those Left Behind
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Ep. 2: The Burial | For Those Left Behind
What is the Sunnah in carrying out the burial? Is there a dua for the burial? What should be recited? How long should we stay at the graveside? In this episode, Dr. Omar Suleiman discusses the Islamic procedure of burying a loved one.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
01:35 The difficulty of burying a loved one
03:03 Sunnahs of burial
The sunnahs of burial:
- Take the body after the Janazah (funeral prayer) and rush it to the cemetery as quickly as possible
- Once there, start to bury that person and make du'a as you are putting the body in the grave
- Start with the feet first, placing the body on the right side, facing the qiblah
- Then seek forgiveness for the deceased, and ask Allah to grant them steadfastness and firmness
- After making du'a, take three handfuls of dirt and scatter it over the deceased
04:51 How to pray for deceased during burial
06:10 Are eulogies permissible in Islam?
We don't exaggerate in our praise of the person because that could have the opposite intended effect for that person. Instead mention the good qualities of the deceased as a lesson for those who are present and as a witness for the person, without exaggerating.
07:00 Crying during burial
While crying is sunnah, it is not a time to wail, scream or shout out.
07:53 How long should we stay at graveside after burial?
Stay at the grave for a moderate amount of time. Continue to make du'a for the deceased, seeking forgiveness for them and asking Allah to grant them steadfastness
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. When the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam passed away and A'ishah radiAllahu ta'ala Anha, she screamed. Fatima radiAllahu Anha heard the sound of A'ishah and she knew that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam passed away and she said these beautiful words, Ya abata min rabbihi ma'adna, Oh my dear father how close he is now to his Lord. Ya abata ila jibreelana na'a, Oh my dear father to Jibreel we announce your passing. Ya abata jannatul firdawsi ma'wa, Oh my dear father jannatul firdaws is now your abode. It is one thing to know that a person is about to die and then to actually see their soul escape their body. It's another thing to wash them and subhanAllah for anyone that's ever washed the body, washing someone that you knew is so much different than washing someone that you didn't. When you wash someone that you knew, you can see the deception of this life because you have in front of you a lifeless body and you used to see that person walking around, you might have been close to that person, a family member, someone that you loved and now you're seeing them lay lifeless and you really come to cherish those last moments where you're looking at that person and you know, you might kiss them on the forehead. Abu Bakr radiAllahu ta'ala anhu, he kissed the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam one last time after he passed away and the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam did the same with Uthman ibn Mad'un radiAllahu ta'ala anhu that he kissed his forehead one more time looking at him radiAllahu ta'ala anhu. And then one of the hardest things in the world is to then put dirt on the face of that person. SubhanAllah the way that this all unfolds. First, you see the life escape the body, then you wash the body, you comb the hair, you perfume it, you kiss the head one more time, you enjoy those last moments and then you
put dirt on their face as a means of honoring them. And this is not an easy thing to do. And in fact, Fatima radiAllahu ta'ala anhu, she asked Anas ibn Malik radiAllahu anhu after the burial of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam about how it was because imagine putting dirt on the face of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, imagine burying the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam and imagine doing it as Anas radiAllahu ta'ala anhu when you have enjoyed the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam's company so intimately for so long. So she asked Anas radiAllahu ta'ala anhu, she goes to him and she says Atabat anfusakum an tahthu ala Rasulillahi SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam at-turab I mean, how were you able to bring yourselves? Did your hearts allow you? Did yourselves allow you to put dirt on the face of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam? And Anas radiAllahu anhu, speechless said, we had to completely ignore our hearts. It felt horrible. It's not an easy thing to do. And that is the case, not just with the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, but that's the case with anyone that is beloved to us. And certainly the way the companions love the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam is greater than the way that any of us love any of our beloved ones. Now the sunnah is to take the body after the janazah and to rush it to the cemetery. And it's a very rapid process, or at least it's supposed to be a rapid process. There isn't leaving the body out for days. There isn't, you know, a bunch of different ceremonies. It is to go to the janazah, to go to the burial as quickly as possible. In fact, some of the sahaba, they mentioned that when Sa'd ibn Mu'adh radiAllahu ta'ala anhu passed away that when we follow the janazah of Sa'd ibn Mu'adh, the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam walked so fast that they were walking so fast that their shoes were coming off, right? Because of how quickly they were following the janazah. And that is the sunnah of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam. The righteous soul awaits the grave. Says, qadimuni, qadimuni, hurry up and take me, hurry up and take me. And the wicked soul says, ya waylaha, ya waylaha, aynatathabuna biha?
The wicked soul says the opposite. Where are you taking it to? So in the assumption that bi'idhnillahi ta'ala we're taking a believing righteous soul to the grave, as you are carrying that body, as you are taking it to the grave, rush it. Do not take long. Do it as quickly as possible. The sunnah is then to start to bury that person and you say, bismillah wa ala sunnati rasoolillah, bismillah and upon the way of the messenger of Allah SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, you can also say, Allahumma khfir lahu, Allahumma thabbitu. Oh Allah, forgive him or her and oh Allah, keep him or her firm. So these are the duas that you are making as you are putting the body into the grave. The sunnah of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam is to start with the feet first, to face the right side towards the qibla. And so sometimes this would require taking some dirt. And even if you're burying in a casket to put it in a way that you can face the body on the right side towards the qibla. And then the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, he said, istaghfiru li akhikum. At that moment, seek forgiveness for your brother. Thumma salu lahu bit tathbeet and then ask for that person to have firmness. Fa innahu al-ana yus'al. Because that person is now to be asked. They're going to face the three most important questions of their lives. And so that time when you first put a person into the grave and they feel the squeeze of the grave is really the time that you're asking Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la to forgive them. That you're asking Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la to grant them steadfastness. They need that more than anything else. They need that more than you talking about how great of a person they were. They need that more than you, you know, talking about everything is going to be okay. They need you to make dua for them, to seek forgiveness for them and to ask Allah to grant them steadfastness and firmness for the questions that they are about to be asked. And this is where you see that group dua for example. And it is permissible for people to make group duas,
even though the sunnah of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam was that people make dua individually, but it's okay for people to make a group dua as well. But certainly not in place of the individual duas. That the people really ask Allah sincerely, especially the loved ones. That Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la grant that person forgiveness and that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la grant that person firmness. That's not a time to eulogize. We don't have long eulogies at the grave. We don't exaggerate in our praise of the person because that could actually be to the opposite intended effect for that person. The Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam mentioned that when people exaggerate in their praise, that the angels would poke the person and say, Aha kada kunt, were you what they say that you are? So a person should not exaggerate in praise. However, a person should mention the good things without exaggeration. Why? Because Antum shuhada'u Allahi fil ardi, you are the witnesses of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la on this earth. So to mention some of the good qualities and good characteristics as a lesson for those that are present and as a witness for the person without exaggerating, without eulogizing, without formalizing it is fine. It's also not a time to wail and to scream. Crying is sunnah. It's not just okay. Crying is sunnah. It is natural and it is sunnah for us to cry. But to wail and to scream and to shout out, you know, terms of destruction for ourselves, that also hurts the debt. Okay, so not to eulogize, not to exaggerate in praise, not to exaggerate in our crying to a point that it becomes wailing or mourning. And then you see the beautiful sunnah of the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam to take three handfuls of dirt and to scatter those three handfuls on the person. So that's something where every person really gets a chance to do what will one day be done to them. You prayed on that person with four takbirs.
You now go and you grab the dirt and you scatter the three handfuls on the person the way that you will one day have the earth upon you. At that point, there's a question that's often asked, how long do we stay? I was talking about the discrepancy where, you know, some people when they pass away, if they're well known or if they have large families, then a lot of people come to the janazah. You also see that sometimes the janazahs are quick for someone that was unknown versus someone that was well known. How long are we actually supposed to stay at the gravesite? There's a beautiful narration from Amr ibn al-As, may Allah be pleased with him, that he told his family that when you bury me, stay next to my grave for the time that it would take to sacrifice an animal and then distribute its flesh, which is, you know, a moderate amount of time. Right. It's not like you could say that takes 20 minutes or 45 minutes or 30 minutes. It's just a moderate amount of time. Take some time to stay next to me so that I can feel your presence. I can feel your presence. And I can know what to respond to my Lord's messengers. So he's saying, take some time. Don't leave me too quickly when you bury me. Stay there. Continue to seek forgiveness for me. Continue to ask Allah to grant me steadfastness so that I am ready when the messengers of my Lord come to me to ask me those three questions.
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