Sincerely, Yours
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Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Wa alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. JazakumAllah khair for joining us for another episode, inshaAllah, of our live stream talk show. I'm your host, Ibrahim Hindi. My co-host, Sheikh Abdullah Al-Duru, he's having a little bit of technology issues. His camera's failing him. Just, you know, you know how it is. When you need something and then the time you need it, it just doesn't work for you. So, inshaAllah he'll be joining. He's just getting it all ready, bi-idhnillah. But we're happy we're here, alhamdulillah. We're joined with all of you. And, you know, as you were with us last week, you saw what this program is all about, alhamdulillah. It's for us to come together to have a great guest on one of, you know, the scholars or the teachers and the preachers of Islam. The ones that you know and that you learn from. That they'll join us and we'll get to talk to them and learn a little bit more about them and who they are. And have you get to know them better. You know, I think sometimes we want to know the imam or the khateeb or the speaker a little bit better. And sometimes we don't get that chance. So hopefully this is going to be that chance for all of us to get to know them a little bit better, inshaAllah. I want to hear from all of you, both right now and throughout the session, inshaAllah, the live session that we're going to have. So let me know in the comments where you're from, where you're coming from. Alhamdulillah, we have sister Fatima from North Carolina. As-salamu alaykum. Let us know where you're coming from. We'd love to hear it, inshaAllah. And let us know your questions, your feedback, your comments. There is a link in the description where you can send us your feedback and suggestions. If there's a topic you want us to talk about. If there's a speaker you want us to have on as a guest, you know, let us know. We want to hear your suggestions. And in the chat, let us know if you have a question for our guest, inshaAllah, so that we can, you know, know a little bit better, bi-idhnillah, about, you know, what you guys want,
so that we can hopefully be able to get it for you, inshaAllah. I see brother Ali Bukhari from Ottawa, mashaAllah, a good friend of mine. JazakAllah khair. Thank you for joining us. I see Tahir Zakaria from Egypt, from Bangladesh, Showa. JazakAllah khair. As-salamu alaykum. Thank you for joining us. All over the world, alhamdulillah, we have people joining us. And we love to have it. We love to have so many people from, so many Muslims all around the world. Michelle from Toronto, Canada, which is where I'm coming from, alhamdulillah. It's good to see other Canadians and Torontonians on this platform, alhamdulillah. So, you know, we're going to have a great program. We have a great guest as well. InshaAllah, we're going to be able to, you know, have a great conversation. We want to know the questions that you guys have. You know, we have a question already about martial arts. I know, alhamdulillah, our guest is an expert in that. So, that's going to be great. I see brother Ali from New Zealand. Salamu alaykum. MashaAllah, all over the world, UK, Malaysia, the US, New Zealand, Egypt, everywhere, alhamdulillah. We have people coming and tuning in, United Kingdom, Ghana, mashaAllah. So, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, you know, bring our hearts together. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow this ummah to feel, you know, genuine love for each other, no matter where we are in the world, that we all love each other for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So, inshaAllah, you know, we're still waiting on my co-host, Sheikh Abdullah Al-Duru. He's letting me fly solo, which is not usually a good thing. I'm waiting for him, inshaAllah. Hopefully, he'll be able to join us during this session, inshaAllah. But I think without further ado, inshaAllah, we're going to have introduced, inshaAllah, our guest, Ustada Maryam Amir, who received her master's in education from UCLA.
And she holds a bachelor's in child and adolescent development, and a second bachelor's in Islamic studies from Al-Azhar University, and has memorized the Qur'an. She also has a second degree black belt in Taekwondo. MashaAllah, we're great to have Ustada Maryam with us as our guest. And, you know, I've been following you online for a while, and I actually think you've been doing amazing work. Ustada Maryam, that's why we're really happy to have you. JazakAllah khair for joining us. It's such an honor to be here, mashaAllah. I've been following your work and Yaqeen's work for so long. It's such an honor and a privilege to be here. BarakAllahu fikum. So, you know, a question I like to ask people when we start off, because I think it applies to everyone. You know, sometimes our brothers and sisters who are new Muslims or converts, you know, every time they walk into a room, somebody is like, you know, how did you convert? What's your story? And to the point that they sometimes, you know, like stop asking me this question over and over again. But, you know, whether you converted to Islam and are a new Muslim, or whether you've been Muslim, you know, and your parents are Muslim and your grandparents are Muslim, everybody makes a decision in their life at one point in time to say that I want to be Muslim. I decide that this is something I'm doing. I'm not just following what my parents were doing or my grandparents were doing. I'm actually owning this. This is something that I believe in. This is something I want to follow. So let me put this question to you. You know, when did you make a conscious decision in your life to become a Muslim and to really believe in Islam? Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim. Alhamdulillah. I'm very fortunate and very, very blessed, alhamdulillah, to have such a diverse family where, alhamdulillah, the majority of my relatives converted to Islam, alhamdulillah. So alhamdulillah. As-salamu alaykum, Shaykh. He's working on his microphone. He's improvising.
Shaykh Abdullah, he's trying, masha'Allah. Can you hear us, Shaykh? He can hear us, yeah. Bismillah. Okay, alhamdulillah, we can see him. May Allah bless him. Okay, I'm going to make this not awkward and keep talking. Alhamdulillah, I'm very blessed that my parents were very intentional about the way that they wanted to raise me and my brother raise us in a way that, you know, would focus on the love of Allah and focus on this connection with God. But being born and raised in California, being surrounded by Hollywood and the messages that come with Hollywood, Islam for me was like piety and spirituality and religiosity. I didn't think any of those things. Try listening. Hello. Oh, al-salamu alaykum, Shaykh. We hear you, Shaykh. I have to go on there. It's going to disrupt us. Shaykh, we hear you. You're good, alhamdulillah. No fault with speakers. Sorry, go ahead, sister. I think you should continue, inshallah. And, you know, I think his son is probably helping him with the technology. May Allah bless them. SubhanAllah. I think this is a really good time to ask. Oh, man, we lost this call. All right, so basically the point is I wasn't really sure whether or not I wanted to be Muslim. And I didn't know if I believed that Islam was the truth. And even though, alhamdulillah, like my parents had really found Islam in college, and it was very intentional to choose living as Muslims, and it was something that I wasn't sure I wanted. And I had these thoughts and these questions as I was going through school. And in high school, my parents decided that we were going to go take a family trip to Mecca and go for Umrah. And I remember the very first thing that I said to one of my friends when I got back to my public high school was I don't want to change. I was so scared that I would become pious or religious or somehow spiritual after going to Mecca
because I heard that's what people do. I heard they go to Mecca and they become pious and then they just pray all day. And as a high schooler in California, that was not something that looked appealing to me. And subhanAllah, when we went to Mecca, I remember my parents both became very emotional. And my dad, mashallah, he's like already a very like, he is an emotion. He loves emotion, and it's a beautiful thing to see. But subhanAllah, the first thing that he did when he saw the minarets of Mecca is he just started to weep. And then my mom, as we were walking into the haram, she started to cry. And I remember being a high school student and thinking this doesn't feel like anything to me. Like I felt nothing as we were walking through the outside haram before we got to the Ka'bah. And my parents were like don't look until you get to the Ka'bah itself so that it will be the very first thing that you see inside of the haram. So I was keeping my eyes lowered, hearing my parents weeping, and thinking I don't feel anything. Am I supposed to feel something? I don't feel anything. And then right when we get to the area where the Ka'bah is and my dad said to look up Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. It was like something just grabbed my heart and just, subhanAllah, it is the feeling, it was the feeling of there's this ayah in the Quran, in Surat Al-An'am, how Allah ﷻ talks about the one, it isn't, the one who was like dead and Allah brought them to life. And that's how I felt like my heart was dead and Allah brought it to life. It was the first time that I actually felt my heart. And I didn't even know that you could feel your heart. It was the first time that I felt my heart and I just, immediately, I just started bawling and begging Allah to guide me, to forgive me, to help me know Him. And that moment for me was so, so transformational that in that moment I was like, I want to know who Allah is, like I want to know. And my parents, may Allah bless them, they take me to the masjid all the time. I had learned how to read the Arabic script.
My family is not Arab and so I didn't speak Arabic, we didn't know what Arabic, what I'm reading in Arabic. But I had learned how to just read the general Quran. But it had been years since I opened the mushaf. So when we came back from Mecca, I was trying to read the Quran every day. I was like, you know what, how can I know Allah by reading His book? That's how I could know Him because it's His book. It's His words. So I started to read the Quran every single day but I didn't understand it at all. I had no idea what I was reading and I was super slow. It would take me like two hours to read five pages. So my mom, one day, she was walking past my room and she's like, why don't you read it in English so that you understand what you're reading. And subhanAllah, that moment, again, changed my life. Salam alaikum, Shaykh. Wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh. You all can hear me, right? Yes, we can hear you. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. It's an honor and a blessing to meet you, Shaykh. BarakAllahu feek, Shaykh. Allah yabak fik, Allah yabak fik, Shaykh. I don't want to interrupt. Continue. You came back from Mecca, you said? Yes, yes, alhamdulillah. So I was reading the Quran in the English translation. And the more that I read, the more that I felt like Allah was talking to me. I would go to high school, something would happen, I'd come home, I'd be like bawling, open the Quran to like a random person, and that ayah was exactly what I was going through. And the more that this happened, subhanAllah, the more I just thought, I don't just want to read this book, I want to know what it means, I want to memorize it, I want to learn it in Arabic, I want to learn the Arabic language. And so the more that I read the Quran, the more that I changed internally, I changed externally, my goals, my motivation, my objectives in life, the way I saw the entire world shifted. Because the Quran is so powerful, so transformational, the more that we connect with it, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, just because of the barakah of the Quran, Allah blesses us. So it was such a gift from Allah to first be moved by the Kaaba, but second to just access His words, and of course,
reading the Quran in Arabic is the language of revelation. But people always ask me, like, well what if I don't understand Arabic? And I'm like, I didn't either. And it changed my life in the translation, even in the translation it can change your life. So really through the process of reading Quran is when I decided that I just want to know this book, and I want to know this religion, and that is the beginning of my journey, alhamdulillah. MashaAllah. SubhanAllah, like that moment of seeing the Kaaba, it's, you know, nobody warned me about it, by the way. Nobody said, my parents, alhamdulillah, you know, they're very religious, and they had been going, they'd been leading a hajj group for a while. And so they've gone many, many times, and then finally one time I was able to join them. And nobody like really said anything about like seeing the Kaaba, and you know, just in general, like everything about hajj and going for Umrah, etc. is good. But I just remember, like, the first time I went, we got to the hotel, and I said, okay, I'm gonna go do my Umrah, and I get into the bus that's gonna drive you closer to the Kaaba, to the masjid. And I just remember like as he's churning and coming down the valley on the road, and I just saw the Kaaba for a glimpse, for a moment, and it just shook me too. And you know, I know so many people have had similar experiences. I think, you know, Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala when He talks about the Kaaba, He calls it Mathabatan an-Nas, like it's a place of retreat, right, for the people. And one explanation, I just wanted to offer it because somebody mentioned it, and it really, you know, stuck in my mind was that, like, if you lived somewhere when you were a kid, and then you've been gone for so long, and then one day you go back to your childhood home, right, and so you're driving on the way there, and you start to recognize, I remember this street, I remember when I was a kid there, and I remember, you know, this area where we used to hang out, and I remember that area, I remember that's my house, that's where I used to live, and all these like emotions come back to you, that's what the Kaaba is to the believer, even though they've never been there before.
It's like your soul recognizes it, and realizes, oh, this is somewhere that I get recharged, this is the place of retreat for me, subhanAllah. And I think, like, your story is so powerful because it's just, it's on that message where it's like you knew something once you went there, like your heart became alive, subhanAllah. SubhanAllah, that's very beautiful, and that reflection is, especially of, you know, these feelings where you have this, like, connection from a very primal place. And I just want to also mention that I know many people who have gone to the Kaaba and they haven't had these feelings. And I know people who have had very difficult childhoods, and so being reminded of their childhood brings a lot of trauma for them. So I also want to make sure that this message is shared that, one, you know, the Kaaba is for the believer that weeps and the believer that doesn't, but the believer that believes in the sanctity of the Kaaba, we are all the same. So I think that is so important because sometimes when this expectation of, I'm going to have some sort of, like, emotional reaction and that doesn't happen, people then really begin to wonder, does this mean Allah has closed my heart? Does this mean that Allah doesn't love me? And the reality is that Allah asks us to take that action. He never requires us to have a particular emotional reaction. And subhanAllah, it's such a gift to have that, but even if you don't, it's still blessed anyway. The Kaaba is still blessed anyway. You going to the Kaaba is still blessed anyway, subhanAllah. Yeah, subhanAllah. Firstly, I apologize for my little technical difficulties. My producer, director, mentor, my son, he's going to tell us. It was all set up, world. Shaykh Hatoumari, I apologize really for interjecting. And the camera just cut off for some weird reason, so we're on my laptop. But, you know, mashAllah, I'm so glad you mentioned that because a lot of times we as instructors and as leaders or influencers in a community, on the mimbar particularly, sometimes we'll mention, you know, and if this doesn't happen to you, then you need to check your iman. Right? I'm so glad you mentioned that because I remember a sister was asking me, you know, when I went to do this ceremonial practice, I didn't feel anything.
And they really felt bad that they didn't. Was I supposed to feel something? So that caveat that you mentioned is very, very important. And JazakAllah khair for that, because everybody's different, you know, and everybody has, just as you said, SubhanAllah, Allah Akbar, you know, people have had traumatic experiences and you don't know what they've been through and what they're currently going through or what they fear in the future. So they may be preoccupied with something that could really alter or just tamper with or even, you know, be mixed with their emotions and their feelings to where at that time they may not be crying when everyone's crying in the salah and, you know, why don't you cry or why don't you this, why don't you that? So JazakAllah khair for that, mashAllah. Absolutely. So, Stella, on your path, like you make this decision and the Qur'an becomes so important in your life. Was there ever a moment, you know, during this time where maybe you experienced some doubt? Where you, you know, was it always just that moment, just you took off after that and really immersed yourself in Islam? Or were there moments maybe of doubt that you had to overcome? Yeah, so I get really, really excited about Islam. And I am like so passionate about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And I just like, I remember one time I was in college and I was driving with one of my friends and we were at a crosswalk and there were like maybe 30 people crossing the street because we were by a university crossing. And I was like, do you see that? And she was like, what? And I was like, all those potential Muslims. And she always reminds me of that because I was just like so full of hope and da'wah and excitement. And then the more that I studied with, may Allah bless, you know, random sisters whom I decided were probably knowledgeable because the way that they dressed. They didn't have degrees. They didn't have any sort of particular background in Islam. But I was like, they must be knowledgeable because they dress like they are. And so I started taking, you know, halaqas with them and going to classes with them.
And subhanAllah, their messaging was particular, particular messaging. Messaging about how a woman should be and what a pious woman looks like and sounds like and acts like. All of that was the exact opposite of my personality. So I am naturally an extrovert. I was told being an introvert is piety. I am naturally very outgoing. That was totally haram. Going out in general, I should never leave my home ever. I mean, I was in college, but okay, that might be a necessity, but never for anything else. You know, you're supposed to never give lectures. I used to give lectures to like, I gave a lecture to the governor of California. I used to make dawah on like big stages with tons of people, like politicians and community leaders, and trying to change the perception of Islam and help people see that a Muslim woman in a hijab is confident about Islam. This was after September 11. People were constantly asking about Muslim women in hijab. And all of a sudden it was like, no, no. The most pious thing would be for me to never be seen, to never be heard, and for nobody to ever recognize me. And so I went through this time where one, I wondered if Allah created me with my personality because he hated my personality, alhamdulillah. And so I was so scared that I was constantly making him angry by simply existing. So one, I went through extreme doubt of myself because I was terrified of who I was and how Allah created me. And I thought my greatest test in life was just to be the opposite of how Allah made me. And that's different from the qualities Allah gives you and you use them in a way within the principles and the guidelines of the Qur'an and Sunnah. That's a very different message. You have these qualities. Let's figure out how we can bring them to align with your best self according to the Qur'an and Sunnah. And then secondly, when I was in college, I took a course about women in Islam, and I was going to defend Islam from all the things that the professor said.
But she brought in one, you know, one hadith, one statement of the scholar, another statement of the scholar, and I had no idea how to reply. I didn't know anyone who knew how to reply at that time. I didn't speak Arabic. I couldn't access the text at that time. I didn't know how to reply. And instead of me feeling confident, I started to worry that if I continue to study women's issues, I'm going to become someone who's doubting these things. I just knew that I had to close that door because if I didn't, I was afraid for my iman. And now I'm scared. Alhamdulillah, after studying for 15 years, I can say that the very same ahadith, the very same ayat, the very same statements bring me so much healing. I can say without even a moment of a breath, a moment of hesitation, that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said this, that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la said this, and I know that they're for women, and they're powerful for women, and that they're healing for women, and that there's wisdom in everything that we don't understand. I can say that without even a shred of doubt. But it took time for me to get there, and it took mentorship, and it took learning Arabic, and being able to access so many texts, and memorize the Quran. It was a process, and I had mentors. And I think that these are some of the most common questions that I receive today from women, constantly receive questions on this line from women. And a lot of times it's because there isn't the mentorship, there isn't the same sort of messaging. The same sort of messaging I went through hasn't changed. It's not gone, it's exactly the same. But I had processes, mentors to help me go through the process of learning what that means in my life, and understanding how that's gonna change from place to place, or reality to reality. And subhanAllah, so many unfortunately don't have that access right now. But with, mashallah, Yaqeen, and with Robita, and with Jannah Institute, and As-Salam, there's so many online options now, alhamdulillah, that people can be faced with these questions and learn about them. But definitely that was one of the most challenging times in my Iman, because one, I struggled with knowing even if Allah would accept me as who I am. And two, I struggled with the messages that I heard
for a woman, and I didn't know how to process them. But alhamdulillah, I'm so grateful to Allah, I'm always grateful to Allah now, because if I hadn't gone through those tests, I wouldn't be interested in studying women's issues and speaking with women on the issues that they have doubts on. And two, alhamdulillah, I am just, inshallah, releasing an app, here's my shameless plug, it's called Qari app, it's a woman Quran reciters app. Alhamdulillah, we have women from all over the world reciting on this app, inshallah. Women from every area, inshallah. We have converts, alhamdulillah. Three of our women have disabilities, four of our women, three of them are blind. Actually, alhamdulillah, now we have five. Three are blind, two have Down syndrome. Alhamdulillah, rabbil alameen. Women from all ages and backgrounds and everything. And I wouldn't have had the drive to go to, like, even ask about how to create something like this, if it wasn't from Allah subhana wa ta'ala, but also if it wasn't for the pain that I went through at that time. Because alhamdulillah that Allah has kept me on the path, but I know so many women who went through the same thing with me at the same time, and now they're wearing, they are living very different lives, and they've made very different decisions. And I don't blame them, I make dua for them. But I'm so grateful that Allah subhana wa ta'ala has allowed me to go through that pain, to be able to see what I can do with it now. And unfortunately, that isn't the case for every single person, but I pray that Allah keeps, you know, blesses them, heals them, helps us all go back to Him. Because, you know, honestly, that's something else. SubhanAllah, I shouldn't have, I don't have any more words, I'm just gonna stop. But anyway, Qariyat is coming out, inshaAllah. InshaAllah you can download it by Ramadan. And if you would like to sign up for the form so that you can register, it's on my Instagram, it is at themariamamir, M-A-R-Y-A-M-A-M-I-R. There's a form in my bio, and you can sign up for it, inshaAllah. What is the, sorry, just for me to know, the app is for Muslim women to memorize Quran, is that how it works? So right now, when you go on any, really any website,
when you look on YouTube, it's really hard to find women's recitation, unless you know who you're looking for. And, you know, myself, when I was memorizing Quran, I was always listening to like Abdul Basit or Min Shaoui. And so when I recite, I have a very deep recitation. And it's because I was trying to mimic their recitation because of their, the type, you know, the sound of their voice. So I always have women asking like, where are recitations that sound like the pitches of our voice? Because we can't mimic the pitches of the men, just we have different voices. And so, Alhamdulillah, that was one of a million reasons. The biggest reason I will definitely say is, there's a huge shift in our community where we're asking, where are women? And there are more and more women present. And there are so many women scholars that, mashaAllah, like we can list 20 off the top of all of our heads, I'm sure. But I think for a long time, a lot of women grew up without seeing women. And so they've wondered, can women be scholars? Are women scholars? Where are women who recite Quran? Can women even memorize the Quran? And when I was reciting Quran at events where there were women only events and we were leading salah, like I was leading a salah, I was reciting Quran. SubhanAllah, I would have, I mean, so many women come to me and say, you are the first person I've ever heard as a woman reciting the Quran. And the shift was so powerful because it was like, a sister in her 50s who came up to me. And she said, you are the first person in my life, the first woman I've ever heard recite the Quran. And I am in my 50s. And if I had known that I could have done it, I would have done it too. And what do I do to do what you're doing? Like, subhanAllah, the impact of someone who is, you know, mothers, young mothers who are telling me that after seeing other women recite Quran, after hearing me talk about women reciting Quran, instead of singing lullabies, now they're reciting Quran for their children. And subhanAllah, a woman who's in her 40s told me that for the first time ever, she told her parents that she's gonna recite for them. And she recited for them. And she said, my parents cried and said, this is the greatest gift you've ever given us. Like, subhanAllah, these messages, so many women saying, I had no idea. I couldn't remember it was Quran.
I didn't know Quran was for women like it is for men. Do you know how many times I've heard that? I didn't know that the Quran is like the same for women as it is for men. Why? Why is that even a question? How is that a question? And some people are like, oh, you know, that's ridiculous. Of course, the Quran is for everyone. But there's a difference when you see women reciting and all of the women, mashAllah, have memorized the Quran. They have, or they have ijazah, which is a certification in Quran. They've been winners of international competitions. They recite on television in their country, some of their countries, for example, some of the women, it depends on the area sometimes, but for example, the woman in Nigeria, in Tanzania, in Yemen, in Morocco, in Algeria, and in Tunisia, and in Morocco, Singapore, Malaysia, those countries have women in Quran competitions and on television reciting Quran and teaching Quran, and they have it in different ways. But other women see that, children, girls see that, and then they think, subhanAllah, that's someone I can aspire to be like. Our little girls have Hollywood, just like I did. And who are they going to aspire to be like? So if we give our little girls examples of women who are Quran reciters, inshaAllah, they're going to be able to say, that's who I want to be when I grow up. And I've heard that from so many women. SubhanAllah, I've been interviewing women on my Instagram who are Quran memorizers. So many mothers have said, their eight-year-old kids keep asking me, when is your next Instagram live? Because they want to see the next woman, and they say, I want to memorize the Quran too. So the impact is generational. When we invest, mashaAllah, in these areas, it is so generational, subhanAllah. So anyway, that's some of the reasons why, but this is a very long topic, and I'm sorry that I took it over. I'll leave it plugging you. No, absolutely, jazakAllah khair. I think that's definitely something that's needed. And alhamdulillah, Allah blessed me with three daughters, and I want them to also memorize the Quran. And it's true, subhanAllah, in general, the drive amongst young girls to memorize Quran is less,
because they don't get the same encouragement, because they're not told, you could lead the prayer, you can recite in front of people, you can, and they don't see the examples of anyone else doing so, so they don't get that same drive. So for there to be a community of women that they can connect to that are reciting Quran, that's gonna be a huge motivation for them, for sure. No, mashaAllah, no doubt about it. I mean, what I saw this whole time, and what really matters, I'll say the most, is passion. That's all I'm hearing from you is passion. You're passionate about this. You know, and some people say passion, you have to be borderline, what is it, obsessed, to reach that level of obsession, because you see a problem, and it is a problem. You know, when it comes to cultural nuances regarding the female in general, and then the female's voice in the Quran, we know the masal and what people say about this, or what certain cultural nuances can impose upon other cultures, not taking it into consideration where people came from and where they're trying to go. I mean, they're trying to read Allah's, from Allah's word, karimatullah muhaqqaq, there's no khatah in it. I mean, this is, tanzeelun bayni yadaymin rabbal alameen, so this is all from Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, and for someone to initiate the effort to try to memorize, to just read, we should never, never belittle that, we shouldn't, you know, we should never delay that, or ever hold someone back from making that effort, whether they're eight or 80, you know, because anyone can make a change, and mashallah, hats off to you, and I'm really, really happy that you're passionate about this, because that's what I think people are seeing now, people that are knowing before, they see that immediately, mashallah, may Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la make this endeavor something that is blessed, inshallah, taba'a Allah. You know, you're a da'a for the means of so much. Thank you so much. Cultural nuances, sorry. Alhamdulillah. No, I guess it's true what you said about, you know, the women and the Quran, because, you know, I have, my wife, she memorized the Quran as well,
she's from Medina, and memorizing the Quran and being around sheikh, like when I first met her, I was like, okay, she memorized the Quran like two years at the age of like 12, so then she had a sheikh from Sudan and a sheikh from Egypt and a sheikh from Murtania. And then this is the first time I was really exposed, because I converted to Islam as well, so the first time I was exposed to just like, mashallah, taba'a Allah, there's a plethora of sisters, girls, you know, females that memorize the Quran, like you said, Quran competitions, and you just see the zeal and the examples that set for the young girls when they see people win, women and girls win Quran competitions, it creates a whole different feel and experience. Therefore, a different outlook. SubhanAllah, it's a cultural shift, it's an absolute cultural shift, subhanAllah, I think that's so, you know, even when you were talking about your wife, and mashallah, Allah bless her and protect your whole family, and then she has like this sheikh, and this sheikh, and this sheikh, I mean, like, even like being able to find a sheikh, being able to, if your sheikh doesn't have time, being able to find another one, it's so difficult sometimes, but when you're able to create a culture, where it's like, oh yeah, I know all these women, and all these women have done it, and I wanna be like them. Like we talk about so many times, you know, the things that are wrong with the women of the ummah, unfortunately, we hear so much of that, and so much of the guilt, and the blame, and the shame, and they're supposed to be doing all these things, and they're obsessed with the dunya, okay, well, what is their example? What are we doing? What are we doing to solve the problem that you think is a problem? Okay, do something about it. We close the door of mentorship, we close the door of access, and then we say that they're the ones with the problem, and then at the same time, your most important role as a mother, you need to raise the next generation, but they're struggling with access in the first place. So, subhanAllah, I mean, what a gift that your wife had that environment, that environment to nurture, nurture her growth as a 12 year old, mashallah, may Allah allow yaqeen to be that for all of the young, and the elder, and everybody at this time.
I wanna remind everyone in the chat, you know, we do have a portion of our session today of questions and answers. So, if you have questions you'd like to, for us to ask Ustazah Maryam, please put it in the chat, inshallah, we'll hopefully, you know, we can't get to everyone's questions, but hopefully we can choose your question, inshallah, and be able to flag that for Ustazah Maryam to answer later on. So, put your questions, inshallah, in the chat, we are monitoring it, biidhillah. So, Ustazah Maryam, when did you feel, when did you decide to then pursue knowledge, and go down that path? When I was in high school, and I was reading the Quran, and I was like, I wanna know this, and I wanna know Arabic, and I wanna memorize this book. And at that time, hamdulillah, may Allah bless my parents, they were all very, always very supportive, and especially, they were like, you know, we need women to be in this space. And so, hamdulillah, even at that age, they were like, so supportive of, what do we need to do to support you in this path, especially because our community needs more women. And at that time, there was a, like a college in the US that was an Islamic college, but it shut down because after September 11, they were shutting a lot of things down. So, subhanAllah, I went into college, and every year, I was looking for a way to go study Arabic. And this is pre-online learning, this is pre, like, institutes online, so it was really hard to find ways to learn. I was trying so hard to study with women locally, but I could only find one sister who would teach me Arabic once a week, and only for 30 minutes, and that was it. And I would go to these halafas in Arabic, and I would just stare at a woman speaking in Arabic, and just try to, like, osmosis learn Arabic, and it didn't work. So, hamdulillah, eventually, I was so blessed to go to Egypt the day after I graduated from college, and hamdulillah, that's when my formal, I mean, I was taking classes here, and hamdulillah, I'm studying here,
but my formal, like, doors of opening Arabic and the studies of Arabic started, hamdulillah. Hamdulillah. MashaAllah, that's beautiful. As soon as you said, you know, I'm sorry, but when you're mentioning these, it's very similar to my story as well. Like, that's what made me want to memorize the Quran as well. And I remember, subhanAllah, when I first saw a khutbah, and the brother was a convert, and he spoke Arabic and English, and I was like, man, I want that. I don't know, I'll do what it takes. Like, I just embraced Islam, and then I sat with my sheikh from Kerala, India, and he was, you know, teaching me tajweed and things of this nature, and then he used to shut the book every day, and he used to say, one day, you will memorize the Quran, and you will leave people, and I'm sitting there like, like, man, I'm like 20. But yeah, no, mashaAllah, that was the, what made me want to just really memorize the Quran and just tell my mom about it. I just really wanted to just tell her about it, about Islam via the Quran. So when you mentioned that, it just sparked something in me. Sorry about that. Does that help? No, I'm so appreciative. May Allah bless you. Bless your mother, bless your sheikh. Oh, as-salamu alaykum, may Allah bless you. So, Salih Mariam, I think, you know, you wanted to reflect on an ayah, inshaAllah, today. We ask all of our guests to reflect on an ayah or hadith of their choosing, inshaAllah. So something that will bring, you know, inshaAllah, benefit to everybody who's watching, biidhnillah. So if you can go ahead and let us know, you know, what ayah you'd like to speak about and what benefit all of us can gain, inshaAllah. Yes, inshaAllah. So, I would be glad to speak to you, inshaAllah. Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala says, inna allatheena qaalu rabbuna Allahi thumma istaqamu tatanazzalu alayhimu almalaikatu alla takhaafu wa la tahzanu wa abashuru biljannati allatheekuntum tuAAadun and the general translation of this is, those who say that our Lord is,
our Lord is Allah and they are firm on that, the angels will descend upon them and they say, do not fear and do not grieve and glad tidings for paradise, for the promise of paradise. And the reason that I wanted to share this reflection with you is because I think all of us, probably everybody in the world, have this thought at times about the shortness of this life and how there is a time when it's going to end. And I think there's a lot of fear that comes with that for many of us. And inshaAllah, my mom, when she was a kid, she said that she had a friend whose sister had passed away from cancer. And she was a little girl and she was in the hospital room and the parents had been told that she only has a little bit of time left. And so she was sitting with her parents in the hospital room and she said that suddenly, the little girl's sister, her parents, who just came in the room and her parents didn't see anyone. And she said, they are the most beautiful people I've ever seen and they're holding the most beautiful white dress I've ever seen in my life. And those are her last words and she passed away. And subhanAllah, I've heard so many stories like this, so many stories from someone who talks about their grandparent or their loved one who's passing away. And in that moment, as they're passing away, they say something about seeing a beautiful being in the room. And that's the very last thing that they say. And I remember I was talking to one of my teachers when I was sitting in Egypt and I was like, no, I'm so scared of that moment, I'm just so scared. And she was like, you don't know what other people are seeing in that moment. You don't know what's happening in that moment. They're seeing angels, you're seeing the outside. They're seeing angels. And whenever I reflect on this verse and on life in general, I think about, subhanAllah, how many times has Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la shown us his signs that he is with us?
And we may not exactly see what is happening. For example, we may be making dua about something in particular, and we don't see the answer to that dua in the way that we're asking. But Allah protects us in another way and we see that protection. Or Allah, we just in our heart, we wish, we're like, oh, I'm really craving those particular cookies. And randomly a friend of ours will drop it off and be like, oh, I got these cookies for you. And you're like, subhanAllah, I was just craving those. I'm sure all of us have some story like that where Allah answers the wishes of our hearts without us even making dua for them. And he protects us sometimes by not answering exactly what we're asking for. And it's a form of answering by averting the pain and the punishment. And subhanAllah, I think about how the angels have such a strong role in our lives, such a central role in our lives, of protection, of a means of barakah and dua. Like Imam al-Baghawi mentioned that if the dua of one angel, the dua of one angel, the ameen of one angel could be enough for the whole ummah, for everybody. And yeah, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la has a whole legion of angels making dua for us all of the time. So whenever I think about this verse, I think about the comfort and the hope whenever I'm feeling unstable or whenever I'm feeling nervous or anxious, or I just think about this ayah. And how Abu Bakr radiAllahu anhu, he asked some of the companions or he asked some of the tabi'een, what do you think this verse means? And they were like, oh, these are the people who never commit sin. And he said, you've given it a meaning it doesn't have. You've given it a meaning it doesn't have. These are the people who believe in Allah and they're firm on that belief. And that gives me hope, because I know that I could never deserve Allah's mercy. But how merciful is he anyway, because he is ar-Rahman. He is ar-Rahman anyway, whether or not I'm deserving of his mercy. And subhanAllah, there is a hadith that's related to this verse. It's actually the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, recited a different verse, but related to the angels. But it's one of the most motivating statements for me. And it's Sa'id ibn Jubair.
And he talks about a person who goes into Jannah and they're looking around and they're in paradise. And they're like, but where's my grandpa? Where's this person? Where's this person? Where's this person? And they're just at a loss because their loved ones are not there. And it's said to this person, you worked. That they didn't do the same work that you did. You worked for, they didn't do the same work. And his response is, I worked for them and I worked for me. I worked for me and I worked for them. I didn't just do it for me, I did it for them. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, because he doesn't want this servant of his to feel sadness in paradise, that he brings those people who believed in Allah, but their actions didn't reflect that belief, he brings them to that level to be with the servant. And subhanAllah for me, every time I think about the hereafter and how Allah said for me days, if I don't wash my hands, if I don't eat my food, I cause a lot of stress. If I section my clothes on the floor, these 운동are going to in my mouth, they're really going to make those things that the husband says to me, what these things make making those stay in my mouth. So it's something that can be patient and can be thinkers. And it's something that God has blessed me with. So all. I just think about how Allah is so merciful that he revealed an ayah that brings together fear and sadness. The two things we feel about anyone, any loved one, any of our own life, fear and sadness. And he specifically had the angels tell us it's going to be don't worry, don't be sad, don't worry, don't be sad, your promise paradise. SubhanAllah, how he knows our souls, he created our souls and he gave us an ayah that would comfort our souls, not just in the moment, but also through life as we every second approach that moment, subhanAllah. And that's a verse that brings me so much comfort and steadfastness. It's such a powerful verse. And just like you said, subhanAllah, there's so many people who have similar stories where they talk about seeing something before they pass away, or people who are smiling, subhanAllah, like a very undeniable smile as they pass away, that they're seeing something that we can't see. And I thought, you know, exactly like you said, there's so much power in that verse for us to reflect on it and to think about.
You know, even as you were talking about how sometimes you want something and Allah brings it to you without you even asking for it. And I'm thinking about Sayyidatina Maryam, alayhi salam, in the Qur'an, when, you know, Zakariya enters upon her and he sees she has these fruits, and it's not even the time for these fruits for her to have it. And she says, innaAllaha irzqu man yasha'u bi'ayyi l-hisaab Allah gives to whomever He wills, provides for whomever, soever He wills without any account. And it's so true, Allah will give us sometimes without us even asking, gives us exactly what we want in the time that we want it. And just like you said, sometimes we want things that are not good for us, and we keep asking for it, and it's not good for us. Like Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, wa yad'u al-insan bish shari du'a'ahu bil khair Like man is praying, making dua'a for evil, thinking it's good. We think it's a good thing, but it's really an evil thing. You know, oh Allah, let me marry this person, or oh Allah, let me get this job, or let me get this. It's actually, you know, not a good thing for you. So, you know, just it's beautiful, like you mentioned, like Allah is giving us in that moment exactly what we need on the deathbed, and the angels are coming, and they're telling us not to grieve and not to fear. SubhanAllah, the way you put it actually just so beautiful, and I think something for everybody's hearts to feel stronger just reflecting on that verse. Yeah, mashallah, I mean subhanAllah, seeing some of the messages here, some people mentioned they lost some loved ones, and you know, it's gonna be hard for them to cope. But it's interesting when they send that message, you mentioned the, I think it was in Ather, you know, about the person that they didn't see their relatives when they got there, but then their actions inshallah would be something that would be serve as an incentive or a means for them to be with them. And subhanAllah, again, that verse is, you know, subhanAllah, just to remind all of us, you know, the angel series as well, you know, it's just something that is beyond our scope. And that's what's so beautiful about Islam. You know, the fact that you mentioned this verse is something so profound that always remembering the angels that we do not see them,
and that subhanAllah, they may appear in certain forms that we may see them indirectly. And we should never give up hope on that because it can happen at any time. Just as you mentioned with the great example of something that you desire, Allah knows, Al-Aleem knows you desire it. Therefore, with this hikmah, Al-Hakeem, he brings it when you least expect it. He provides for them when they don't even have any ihtisab, they have no thought, they didn't even expect it. So jazakAllah khair on that beautiful, beautiful verse and reflection. We all need it, may Allah subhanAllah bless you. JazakAllah khair for mentioning that it was an athar. Yes, it was mentioned in the tafsir of the ayah, وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَاتَّبَعَتُوا ذُرُّيَّتَهُمْ that it's mentioned the Prophet ﷺ mentioned this in relation to that ayah. And I'm so grateful that you specifically mentioned that it was an athar. I think that's actually so important that when we talk about specially things related to the hereafter that it's very clear. Thank you Shaykh, may Allah bless you. Alhamdulillah, may Allah bless you. JazakAllah khair. You know, actually it reminds me of a similar or a different athar from Al-Hassan al-Basri rahimahullah ta'ala that he said, you know, subhanAllah, you see his humility, he's this great scholar, but he was worried that Allah would not enter him into Jannah. So he said, I'm trying to make sure all my friends and my companions are righteous people so that if I end up in the hellfire and they end up in Jannah, they will say, Oh Allah, where's our friend? And that they will bring him out of the hellfire into Jannah. And it's just subhanAllah, beautiful statement because it shows us how important our friends are and the people we spend our time around in our family, right? Just one person in your family really worshipping Allah might be able to bring us forward into paradise and we might be able to save our kids just from our own practice and Allah subhanAllah being generous to us and just for our practice to help save our children. We ask Allah subhanAllah to protect them. I mean, we have a lot of questions and I want to put some of them forward. Here's a question from Layla.
She's asking when our iman is low or when we have doubts, how can we be sure that it's not Allah sealing our hearts? SubhanAllah, when Prophet Abraham peace be upon him in the Quran, it's mentioned that Allah says, excuse me, Allah subhanAllah quotes him saying, رَبِّي أَرِنِي كَيْفَ تُحِيِي الْمَوْتَةِ Show me how you raise the dead. And Allah subhanAllah responds and says, don't you believe? Of course, Allah knows the heart of Ibrahim. And Ibrahim alayhis-salam responds and he's like, بلى, of course I believe but just to have strength in my heart, just to let my heart feel that like complete, you know, complete firmness. You know, subhanAllah, it's very interesting because this is a prophet who's seen so many miracles in his life. Literally like a fire has become cool. His elderly barren wife has a baby. There's like major miracles that Ibrahim alayhis-salam has seen. And yet Allah still chose to include this statement. He didn't have to include this statement, but Allah chose to include it. Which I think for any of us who has doubts, which honestly, I think everyone does. I mean, you have doubts sometimes as a human being, then you go back and you're like, no, for sure this is the truth. Then you maybe have a doubt and you're like, no, for sure this is the truth. That's the nature of being human and realizing that no, Allah subhanAllah is the truth and I believe in this. So first, the fact that you have a doubt and you're worried about it is a sign of your sincerity. It's a sign of the strength of your belief. Your concern is a sign of the strength of your belief. And what did Ibrahim alayhis-salam do? What did Allah do? He answered him by telling him what to do with the pieces of the bird and where to put them and how Allah subhanAllah brings it back. So it's proof. Look for the proof. After you have the doubt, ask the question and look for the answer. It's so important not to let your doubt sit and fester and then just let it fester because you're too embarrassed to ask about it. Because maybe you'll be shamed for asking about it.
Ask someone who's qualified and who knows who you are and who's not going to dismiss your question about your question. And when your iman is low, know that that's part of iman. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us this. Iman is going to go up and down. We're not always going to be in the same position. And if you didn't live in Mecca or Medina or in Mash al-Aqsa and you had the opportunity to go and it was Ramadan and you were fasting and you were in a spiritual state and your kids were not pulling on your clothes as you were trying to pray and your parents were not asking for you to do something, you have nothing to do but worship, your iman would probably be in a different place. So is it really you that's the problem or is it you're human and you have a lot going on and that's okay. You're still trying to worship Allah regardless. A woman told me that she's been praying for 40 years. She didn't miss a single prayer that was obligated upon her. And she only felt emotional a few times in 40 years. She didn't miss a prayer that she was obligated to pray. She felt grounded in her prayer but she didn't cry out of emotion in her prayer. But she kept praying and that's the point. Even if you don't have the spiritual high every time, you still maintain the action. Because Allah told us in a hadith that we come closer to Allah through the obligation, that's how we come closer to Him and then through the voluntary. So he didn't say in any part of that that Allah never tells us that if we weep for 7 hours straight, that's when He loves us. Or if we were running through the streets screaming with joy, I love God, that's when He loves us. No, it's the action. Be sincere about the action and keep doing the action. And maybe when you are terrified that Allah is sealing your heart, one, it shows how much you love Him because you're so afraid of that. And two, it also reflects a need to learn about the names of Allah. Because if you know who Allah is, you would never ask maybe Allah, la samaha Allah, God forbid, is ever sealing your heart.
Because why? You know that you're trying and you want to love Allah. And if Allah put in your heart the need to know Him, that's from Him. That's a gift from Him. So you can read the Names of Allah series, Reflecting on the Names of Allah by Ustada Jeanan Yousaf. It's a new book that she's recently published, mashallah. It comes with a journal that you could write your reflections in and listen to scholars talk about their reflections. Reflecting on the Names of Allah, take one name of Allah a week. It's like a two minute read to read the chapter. Read the chapter, make dua to Allah by that name throughout the week, and then go to the next chapter. And inshallah, once you're done with learning more about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and realizing that it's a kind of human, inshallah, the next time you ask this question, it'll just be, how can I keep my, maintain my iman, or not even maintain my iman, maintain my action, despite the difficulty that's going on in my life. And may Allah bless you and give you sabbat. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala fill your heart with His, fill your life with His blessings and give light in the way that you see your life, yad'uban. Beautiful answer. We have a few other questions as well. Some of them related to memorizing the Quran. So I'll just put this one up where Sister Sahar is asking, can you please suggest or guide some good resources to start with Hifz? The biggest thing I would recommend is starting with a teacher. That's so important. When you find a teacher, inshallah, they can help you have a specific schedule that they work with you, and they often have a particular book that they want you to start with before you start your memorization. So you could look at Jannah Institute or Swiss, suheibweb.com, or you could look at Rabal Ta, Gems of Light. These are all institutes that also teach Quran, and inshallah, you'll be able to find resources to start with their teachers.
Also, just for putting it out there, Tarteel.com is an app. It's an excellent app where you can just recite a portion of an ayah, and it will immediately figure out where you are in the mushaf. So that's really helpful as a resource. Another really cool app is Quran Reflect. Quran Reflect is an app where scholars have reflections on the Quran, or people have reflections on the Quran, so it can help you with the contemplation part of your memorization. Quran Reflect.com has a lot of positive resources, mashallah, and inshallah, those will all help you with your memorization. And if you're a woman, which I think you are, as-Sahar, may Allah bless you, then inshallah, Qaya will be here by Ramadan to help you, inshallah, as a resource. Somebody asked what was the book that she just mentioned. I think it was The Names of Allah by Sister Jnan Yusuf. Yes, Reflect. J-I-N-A-N Yusuf. Beautiful, beautiful book, mashallah. Here's a question. As-Salaamu Alaikum. I'm a single mom, who just lost my dad, mom, brother, and sister, basically my whole family recently, subhanAllah. I feel so low like Allah hates me, and this is bringing my iman down. I can't deal. SubhanAllah, there's so much test and trial that this person is going through. What advice could you give her? Wa'alaikum As-Salaam wa-rahmatullah, I wish that I could ask you if I could give you a hug. I'm so sorry for the loss of so many of your family members at one time. May Allah enter them into the highest paradise. I can only imagine your pain and your shock and your internal dialogue, and maybe at times you have regret or guilt or so much that you may be feeling, and sometimes you may be feeling numb. And I'm not going to tell you anything of what you quote unquote should be doing, because there's no way I can understand your reality. I just wish that I could be physically with you to let you know that you're not alone. And I know that all of us are listening, reading this, and all of us are in pain,
knowing that you're a single mom who's just lost some of the most important people to support you in that journey. Your child or your children have lost their loved ones. I beg Allah to enter them into the highest paradise as martyrs and to make it easier. I ask Allah to replace the extreme pain and grief with ease and with comfort. And I understand why you would say that you feel like Allah hates you. I completely understand why you might say that, because sometimes when we are in a place of such devastation, we can't understand, and so we think that that must be the reason, especially because some of the messaging about Allah is so related to our action, and we may not feel like we've done enough action, and so therefore it's a reaction to our lack of action. But I just want you to think about the fact that some of the most beloved people to Allah lost everyone. I just want you to remember that the Prophet Noah, peace be upon him, his own son rejected him, his own wife. I want you to remember how the Prophet, peace be upon him, lost every single person, every single one of his children, except for Fatima, before he passed away, peace be upon him. And how he lost his wife, his parents, his grandfather, his uncle, peace be upon him. None of that was a reflection of Allah's... None of that is a reflection of Allah, peace be upon him, not loving a person. So I just want you to know that, of course, I understand why you may feel this way, but it doesn't mean that Allah hates you. And I understand why you might feel like you can't even approach him, but remember that even if there isn't a wisdom we can understand, the most pious and the most closest to Allah experience the exact same pain.
And sometimes he gave us their stories just so that we would know that he was there for them, just like he is there for us. So please know that you're not alone, and that so many people, so much of this ummah cares about you, and is in pain because you're in pain, and that Allah sees that, and he sees you and the pain that you're in, and that he is with you. And also it's so important to go to therapy if you are able to. Maristan, M-A-R-I-S-T-A-N.com slash resources has a list of resources for someone looking for therapy. Sometimes speaking with someone who is professionally trained, and can help you just have a space of listening can be so helpful in even your spiritual state. So may Allah bless you and give you the strength to be able to carry on, and bless you with support to be able to support you as a single mom, and bless your family, and let you come through this pain in a way where you feel like you are held, and that Allah SWT is with you. Ameen. Another question I thought was important, Sister Ghada is asking, what advice would you give to someone who used to be very religious, but stopped praying and find it so difficult to come back? The fact that this person wants to start praying again because they're finding it difficult means that they've tried. The fact that they are finding it difficult is a sign that they've attempted even internally, it might even be an internal discussion, and they haven't been able to do so. So the first thing I would recommend is really look at why they stopped. Because you may hear that it's because they're committing sins, but maybe it's because they've gone through trauma. So first, did it happen when a person was going through trauma?
Was there something that they've experienced in their life that caused them to feel like they cannot go back to praying, or reading Quran without feeling anxious, or numb, or shaking? Was there a reason unrelated to simple motivation? And if that was the case, again, therapy is so important. Maristan.com slash resources is a resource that Shaykh Dr. Rania Awad began. And it's so important to take this seriously for your spiritual health, as well as your mental and physical health, of course. Of course, like all together. But secondly, if you maybe haven't gone through some sort of trauma, this person hasn't gone through some sort of trauma, but they just feel like they kind of, for whatever reason, drifted away. Alright, so what is something that they used to be passionate about when it came to Islam? Maybe for them, it wasn't like, oh, they love going to the masjid every day, or they love being able to make salah every day, or they love fasting every day. But maybe they loved working with animals. And there is so much information in Islam supporting working with animals, and caring for animals, and caring for the creation of Allah. So maybe they could start working in an animal shelter, but their intention is that they want to worship God through this action. And so how do we worship God? Of course, in so many ways, with our intention, but also actually through salah. So you tie salah to something that you love for the sake of God. You love working with animals. You want to give your time to the animal shelter. And also, it's dhuhr time before you walk in for your shift. So you tie dhuhr with something that you love, you pray dhuhr, and you connect it to something that you love. And that way you build, you rebuild feelings related to religion. Because sometimes, we've simply had experiences that haven't left us feeling that nostalgia that was mentioned in the very beginning by Shaykh Rahim.
And so when you are in that moment where maybe you don't have those feelings, but you need to create new ones, you build new ones. How can you create new experiences with worship so that, just like a friend in the beginning, you might be kind of awkward. You may not really understand each other, but the more you hang out, the more you get to know each other, and the more you miss them. And then you start to long for them. And then even if you don't long for them, you just want to make sure you stay connected with them. And so you get through that patch. But then you miss them again, and then you go back again. And you're still connected. You're still connected every day. But there are times you really want to connect with them, and you already feel like you have the channel to do so because you've been consistent with your relationship with that, with a friend. So in the same way, how do you build a relationship with worship? You start by recognizing it might be awkward at first, but we're going to build these new experiences together in a way that we both cherish, that you cherish, and that you know that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala loves every single action that we do for His sake. Of course, I'm super embarrassed to even be talking in front of both of you. We have no idea. Every time someone asks a question, I'm like, I better not even answer it. But I feel like we're going to take some time with me saying, what do you think? What do you think? No, what do you think? No. So then that's why it's awkward. So please forgive me for that. I'm super embarrassed to talk in front of you. I feel like we've given you a lot of tough questions too. I don't think it was like that last week. What's the first one on... no, I'm just kidding. I'll be like, you tell us, Shay. This question actually, it kind of hit a nerve with me a little bit too because we've seen this a few times. I'm sure all of us have seen this in our daily lives. People we know who used to be very practicing and then maybe made other decisions for whatever reason. Like you said, maybe there's trauma, maybe there's really bad circumstances in their life, whatever it is. They made different decisions and now they kind of want to come back, but they don't know how.
And sometimes it's, I don't want to say ego, but because everybody's different, to be honest. But sometimes it's like, I used to be that. Now I'm no longer praying, no longer fasting, no longer doing this. And it's almost like, I don't know, it's like somebody had a really important job and now they lost that job. And it's like, I can't start in this company all over again from the entry level. Like literally that's a conversation I had with someone. And it's important to just realize in the end of the day, Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala, that the ibadah that comes from someone with sincerity is more important than how impressive it is to human beings. So the person used to be able to pray and recite juz of Qur'an. Maybe Allah didn't accept that at all because there was a lot of showing off in their heart. And then now you've gone away from Islam for 20 years and now you're trying to come back. And maybe you can't recite a whole juz anymore. Maybe you can only recite a few verses. But that might be more accepted in Allah than what you were doing before because now you're coming with humility, now you're coming with sincerity. Whereas before you weren't bringing that even though you were quote-unquote practicing. Just something to think about. And I know everybody's path is different, everybody's situations might be different. But just wanted to throw that out there. Another good question here. Like I said, people are asking really tough questions today. We're grilling you a little bit. What advice would you give someone who keeps on going back to a certain sin and always feels so bad because they have disobeyed Allah but they forget and get tempted again? I feel like Sheikh Abdullah hasn't given an answer yet. No, no, no. Please, please, please. MashaAllah. JazakAllah khair. Ladies first. So the first thing is recognizing what Allah says about this Himself.
Like He over and over tells us that don't despair in the mercy of Allah. Don't despair in the mercy of Allah. You know in Hadith Qudsi that even if our sins were to reach the heavens and we don't commit partners with Allah ﷻ, that He'd forgive us and He wouldn't mind. That no matter how many times we make the same mistake and we feel bad about it and we go back and we ask for forgiveness and then we make the mistake again. And it's not because we are not playing a game. We're not like, oh I'm going to ask for forgiveness and just do it again. No, like we mess up. We're human. Okay, so one, recognize that Allah loves our repentance. That if we didn't sin, He would replace us and replace us with the people who did sin and ask for forgiveness. So first of all, He loves to hear your voice. He loves when you go back to Him. And sometimes when we keep committing the same mistake, we may feel like, oh my God, like SubhanAllah, He's probably so tired of hearing from me. He's probably so tired of seeing me do the same thing. Why would He accept me? And I want you to remember, subhanAllah, there's a companion named Abdullah that the Prophet ﷺ loved. The Prophet ﷺ, this Abdullah, radhiAllahu anhum, he would be publicly punished because of the amount that he would drink. He would keep drinking and keep being punished for it. And then the companion started cursing him. And the Prophet ﷺ is the one who stopped them. And do you know what he did? The Prophet ﷺ testified for this man's love for Allah and His Messenger. Someone who consistently drank, he's being punished for drinking. And the Prophet ﷺ is attesting for the love that this person has for Allah and His Messenger. So first of all, maybe your love for Allah and His Messenger is so strong that you keep going back to Him, and that's a sign of your love. But you just need help. You have a trigger that is causing you to keep going back to sin. What is that trigger? Is it an addiction? Because saying As-Salamu Alaikum for Allah a hundred times a day should be something that we do also. But additionally, it's not going to let us,
it's not going to be the cold turkey that gets a person off of a particular addictive sin. So say Astaghfirullah a hundred times, yes, but also work with a professional if you have an addiction. Make sure that you seek professional support. That's one thing. The second thing is maybe it's not something that is an addiction, but it's something that you know isn't appropriate. And there is a certain environment that it's created in. Like maybe you know if you are in a particular area or if you talk to a particular person or something, it's going to trigger you to go back to that thing. So you need to not stop at cold turkey. You need to give yourself an alternative. I'm going to give you a nonsense example. What if I have an obsession with ice cream? I happen to have one. I really do. So let's say I want to have ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, which I do, but I know that's not going to be okay for my body. I can't just say I'm not going to eat ice cream. What else am I going to eat? I need to replace it with something that I also enjoy. Maybe not as much as ice cream, but I enjoy it. So what are you going to replace it with that you can actually feel like you have this energy going towards something else? And recognize that could be really so much. Sports are worship. Brushing your teeth is worship. Hanging out with your friends can be worship. It's about your intention and the action that you're doing, of course. So what would you replace it with going backwards? Making sure that you see a professional if you need help. And also, obviously an example I gave, ice cream isn't haram. So I mean in general. But I said in general. Why did I say that? I think the point of what I'm trying to say is that if you were to also encourage yourself with some sweet associations, it could be helpful. And I am not talking about you should reward yourself every time you do something, but for example, maybe you can have, you know, when you do worship, you know, you make it a sweet experience.
You light candles or you have some coffee you enjoy beforehand. You make worship sweet so that when you think about not wanting to go back or thinking about the sin, you have something so much greater internally and physiologically that your body wants to do. So that even if your reasoning isn't enough, then your illogical part of you will still go towards it because you've built those connections. I guess and they could probably, you know, to reward themselves, maybe have some sugar-free ice cream. Is that ultimately what the question is? It's okay to have sugared ice cream. I mean if you're going to have ice cream, you might as well just go for it. Like why? Why not? But in moderation, just in moderation. No keto ice cream? No, I'm all in. I keep saying like, okay, this is the last question. You know, we've taken a lot and we've asked a lot of you, but then somebody else asked a good question. Oh, man, I love Muslim. So this question says, what advice would you give someone who wants to learn more about Islam and the Quran in depth but don't know where to start? And maybe both of you can take this question, inshallah. I feel like, Sheikh Abdullah, this is 100% where you should please plug in. No, no, no, alhamdulillah. No, I'll go after you, inshallah. I would say look up lectures by Sheikh Abdullah Al-Durro. That's what I would say. That's literally the advice I would give. So please, please go ahead. He has a great series on the basics of Islam. It's on Yaqeen Institute website. And, you know, it's all the basics that you want to learn about the deen. He does a great job, inshallah, on that video series. He's not going to praise himself, so we have to do it for him. No, alhamdulillah.
But are there other resources you would advise someone who wants to learn more? Who wants to learn more, especially about the Quran as well in depth? For me, honestly, the one thing that I would suggest is actually reading a translation of the Quran. And I would suggest starting with certain chapters. So, for example, I would suggest starting with chapter 19, the chapter on Virgin Mary. I'm also named after her, which is why I always recommend that. But I would always recommend starting with chapters like chapter 12, chapter 19, chapter 13, chapter 14. There are certain chapters that I think people, when they open them and go through it, as kind of like a I feel like it kind of may be relatable depending on the person I'm speaking with. So sometimes I also just give that guidance based on whom I'm actually speaking with. But that's really where I would start. But after that, the resources that I give are places like Yaqeen or are places that focus on convert care. And unfortunately, none of them are coming to my head at the moment. But yes, please, Sheikh, fill in please a million times. Alhamdulillah, no, I mean, like you said, mashallah, I like how you mentioned certain chapters that deal with the reality of people or whatever they're facing or what they've had or currently facing previously. I'll never forget when I was in Jeddah. One of my old mentors, Sheikh Ibrahim in Jeddah, mashallah, he he looked at me and he said, read Surah to Nour. Read the chapter of Nour. Everything is going on in America. If you're going to go back and give dawah, make sure you read the chapter of Nour. And he looked dead in my face and I was like, I read it. Oh, now I just somebody I can for people that think Islam is not practical or doesn't address issues. You know, the way that Allah addresses these issues and how to how to deal with them is so profound.
And like you said, really having an ustaz, someone that you can go to and seek knowledge from, whether it's a coach or a mentor, you know, a sheikh, someone that you can sit with and talk with and ask questions with, inshallah. I think that's I think that's profound as well. And as far as you mentioned with the Quran, again, you know, just reading and pondering over the verses and taking your time. It's not it's not a race. You know, it's really about just understanding what the book of Allah SWT is articulating, what he's saying and asking people of knowledge if you don't know. And just that's the process. That's the process of talabal alim and of seeking knowledge. Allah SWT will bless you and you won't even realize it until someone tells you how far you've gone. You know, so that's the advice that I would give. Yes, that's right. Let me give a specific resource on your advice on mentorship. So Robo Club, which was founded by a scholar who's a convert. Name is Jeff, a doctor, Tamara Gray, RAB, a T.A. Dot org. And she has not just an institute which focuses on specifically if this person is asking about a woman asking. This is more like a woman, woman specific resource. But they have, you know, they have a group specifically addressing convert care. That is that's like an entire group of support supporting you in the journey, supporting you in the process. And she also wrote a book which is called Project Lina Project Lina, which is she she she wrote with also said in the GMAX bill next field. And they have they have a whole program for someone who is considering Islam or who's converted to Islam about how to really process Islam in their lives and in their families. So those are those are a couple of resources that are helpful because they're very practical. They're written by converts and also having a system in place like she had mentioned, like, yes, it is so helpful to have a teacher. But where exactly does someone find a teacher sometimes online? How do they know that we have this resource? That's a great one. So so the money and we have questions for you, and I love before we wrap up.
I know we're ready well over the hour mark. So we've taken a lot of your time. And that, but, you know, I want to ask you and, you know, as Muslims, of course, we don't live in the realm of regret. The Prophet said to us, you know, don't say no. And if only I did this, if only I did that, because this is a door of shape on. But at the same time, we can reflect over the past to get wisdom and lessons and we'll have to take ourselves to account and give advice to our brothers and sisters in Islam. So if you can go back in time, you know, what advice would you give your younger self? That Allah made you exactly like you because that's how he wanted you to be and that your goal or your your path needs to be. How can you most align what he has, how he has created you to be in a way that he loves the most? And how can you use those qualities in a way that Allah would be pleased with and that would be beneficial to the ummah? And that you don't need to constantly look for legitimacy outside of outside of someone who knows what your reality is. And the reason I say all of that is one, because as a woman and the messages I received, they just destroyed me. And two, because I think a lot of times I've spoken with so many women in the community who are activists or who are leaders and who are scholars even. And they've had times where they just feel like they've struggled with some of the messaging that they've heard or that they've experienced personally. And that our ultimate goal is with Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, and that our effort is for the ummah, for his sake.
And so we don't need, you know, we don't need a particular, we don't need a stamp of approval from Hollywood. We don't need a stamp of approval from, you know, some sort of political organization. We don't need a stamp of approval from someone else. We just need a stamp of approval from Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. Well, I don't want to say that. I want to say we want Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala's approval. So when we seek that and we search for that, when we go towards that, that his, he as the end, is the ultimate goal, is the only one who actually matters. And so all the other noise, and even sometimes that noise might come from within the Muslim community, who can sometimes be very painfully harsh. We just need to realize that maybe we don't need to listen to them. We can just focus on our goals and keep going for the sake of Allah. And I would also give her a really big hug. JazakAllah khair. Actually, that was beautiful advice. And I think so, so much of us, so many of us need that exactly is, is we can get, you know, drawn into so many distractions. And like you said, the approval of Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, the acceptance of Allah, that's, that's the important thing. And everything else is, you know, sometimes drags us into the wrong direction. Sheikh Abdullah, did you want to add anything to that? No, no, mashallah, that was very profound, mashallah. I mean, really, just staying focused and understanding your purpose of life, you know, the macro purpose of worshipping Allah and being sincere to him, but looking at what you have and being content with that, that sometimes can be a struggle. But the fact, wa kan asayi kumashkura, right? That your struggle is that is something that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, is gracious for. So just always taking that step back and looking at what you have and what people do not have, what you may have, being thankful for that. So subhanAllah, that's a beautiful thing. Before we conclude, there's another comment here from our week one guest, Sheikh Yahya. I just wanted to put it up there.
Mashallah, you know, he's great and he supported us by being our first guest and launching this series that, you know, we're coming every Wednesday, alhamdulillah, live on YouTube. And he just put this funny comment here, you know, saying mashallah, tibarakAllah, sister Maryam is making moves that are foundational for our English speaking ummah. May Allah protect her home, family, da'wah from hasad and corruption. Ameen. It's a longer, I don't know if it shows up on the screen, but I'll just read out the rest of it. He says, the best of you are those who learn the Quran and teach it. Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, as the Prophet ﷺ said, may Allah make her and all of us from amongst them. And then he asked Sheikh Abdullah Duroo, do you lift, bro? Yes, I lift phones. You know, actually subhanAllah, one thing we didn't get to talk about, is that the Maryam is your taekwondo. Of course, we're going to talk about Sheikh Abdullah and his lifting. And I'm the only one who's lacking in the physical sports area. But, you know, we never got a chance to talk about it. Maybe we just want to address it quick. How did you become a taekwondo master? Well, first, I really need to say, Sheikh Yahya, I'm so beyond honored. I literally had like a whole moment a minute ago. SubhanAllah, may Allah bless you. I grew up listening to Sheikh Yahya. I mean, subhanAllah, you have no idea. This is just like major shock to have a scholar who you grew up listening to say my name. Oh my God, may Allah bless you, Sheikh. Ameen to your dua. Allahumma ameen for every single one of us. Ya Rabb, ameen. Allahumma ameen. You said a hadith that I have to tell you. My Quran teacher, Sheikh Mahfuzah, who is literally the best Quran teacher in the world, he knows the Quran so well. He never even needs to look at the mushaf. He just, when he looks at the mushaf, it's only because he's helping someone understand how to read it. Like he will have the mushaf open and he's reciting from surah Maida, but surah Baqarah is open. And I remember one of the first times I went and I studied with him, he was like,
the way he said that hadith, like, khayrukum man ta'allimal quran wa'allama Just like so passionate. Every time I hear that hadith, I remember Sheikh Mohib. So I had to mention him. Please pray for my teacher, Sheikh Mohib, and his family. May Allah subhanAllah bless him and raise his ranks and every single one, every single person that he loves. I mean, and as for Taekwondo, so my whole family are Taekwondo martial artists. My mom has a second degree in Taekwondo. So does my aunt and my uncle. My uncle has like a ninth degree. My other uncle has a black belt. My brother has a black belt. We are just a family of martial artists. So I started when I was very young. And when I started wearing hijab, you know, martial arts, it really depends on the type. I did Taekwondo, but it depends on the type. It can become a very physical, a physical sport. And so when I started wearing hijab, I stopped training in a studio or in a dojo type place. I started training with my family. I had the extreme fortune, alhamdulillah, of being surrounded by martial artists. So we were able to train together, alhamdulillah. But that's not a reality for literally everybody else. And I don't I wish I could say that I know this resource that will work for other women who want to learn how to spar and, you know, how to like have like physical wrestling. And I don't, unfortunately, know that here that might exist. And I just don't know about it. But I have the extreme blessing from my family. So please pray for all of my family. And I mean, that's beautiful because it just shows like how your family gave you this great support system. And I've been able to achieve so much. May Allah bless you and bless your family. I mean, and allow all of our families to provide great support for our children and for the children of our community. Jazakallah khair. I know asking for an hour of, you know, any of the guests we've had their time is always very difficult.
But alhamdulillah, we're so happy that you chose to spend an hour with us. Actually, I would really appreciate it. And I hope inshallah it was beneficial for everyone who was watching. Again, a message to everyone. There is a link in the description if you want to give us feedback. Guests you want us to have on in the future. Questions you'd like us to cover in the future. You know, just put in that link inshallah. We're back next week, Wednesday, 7 p.m. Eastern Time, live on Yaqeen Institute, YouTube and Facebook, inshallah. We'd hope inshallah everybody's able to join us and come back to see our next guest. I'm blanking a little bit about who our next guest is. I think it's either Sheikh Naveed Aziz or Dr. Owaimar Anjum. One of the two of them. We're going to have one next week inshallah. And the other one will be the week after. So no problem. We'll get to see all of them inshallah. We hope all of you will be able to join us then. And Jazakum Allah Khair. Shaykh Ani, anything else to add? Is there anything else you'd like to add? Oh me? Oh, this is just a shameless plug again. Qariya app is coming out, the women in the Qur'an reciters app inshallah by this Ramadan. And you can sign up inshallah. It will be a free app through the link in my bio on Instagram at the Maryamir. P-H-E-M-A-R-Y-A-M-A-R Subhanakallahumma bihamdik nashirun la ilaha ila anna astaghfiru khalaqa min tubi lakiyy. It was such an honor, Barakallah. I'm seriously such an honor to be here. Thank you. Wa fiqi anji. Jazakum Allah Khair. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh. Wa alaikum salam. Jazakum Allah Khairan.
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