My Hajj Story
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Unscripted Du'as | #MyHajjStory
Stuck in the mutawwif’s office with no passport and nearly missing his wedding, Dr. Omar Suleiman reflects on the power of unscripted du’as.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. The purpose of the series is not to make people feel worse for missing out. It's to connect us inshallah to some of the experiences that we have over there. And then also, you know, help us sort of think about these things in our own daily lives. And of course, for those that intended to do Hajj, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala accept it from you fully. And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala facilitate Hajj for everyone who intends it in the near future. Allahuma Ameen and accept the Hajj. Allahuma Ameen. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. A'udhu billahi minash shaitanir rajim. Bismillahir rahmanir raheem. Alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen. Wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulina al-karima wa ala anhihi wa sahbihi ajma'een. So I had to think long and hard about what my Hajj story would be, because alhamdulillah I've had the opportunity to go so many times and I've had the blessing of having so many things happen every year that make Hajj so special. Last year I had actually just gotten off the plane, went straight to the maz'z and I gave this khutbah called Becoming a Friend of Allah, which was about the shuhada, their families from Christchurch, who were at Hajj this particular past year and how powerful that was. But I want to go back to my first Hajj where, you know, it's 2006. It was the year after you had fires break out in Mena, so you had some serious casualties that year in 2005. 2006 as I went to Hajj, I was going with just the sense of everything being so perfect. So let me just explain it to you. I am at that time about to get married, you know, and this is my first Hajj. I feel a great, like I'm at a good place in life. You know, this was after Hurricane Katrina had passed about a year after Katrina, so I'm kind of finding myself there, you know, in New Orleans and, you know,
trajectories being defined. So things just seem subhanAllah so settled. And 2006 I go to Hajj, like most first time hijjaj, I get super sick in Mena and, you know, felt like I was going to die a few times. But the feeling of Hajj that year was optimism, hope. It was just extremely beautiful. And I felt a deep connection to Allah Azawajal that year. But it was very much so about the ritual, right? Making sure I'm getting Hajj right, making sure I'm saying the right things. And the duas are hopeful, optimistic. Everything seems to be great. I get back from Hajj after 2006. I did my ketab kitab, or I did my nikah, meaning I officially at least signed the papers I got married. But it was really an engagement period. The wedding was supposed to be shortly after. It was going to be the beginning of the next year. And subhanAllah, you know, as I just did Hajj on top of the world, just got married, technically speaking, right, did the nikah, preparing for the wedding. You know, then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tested me with a great test, tested our family with a great test. My mother, may Allah have mercy on her, suddenly passed away. And I'm in this position now where I don't know what's going to happen next, right? Suddenly, life is not so great anymore. It doesn't, you know, the happiness has kind of been taken away, the excitement of the wedding. Everything is in shambles, once again. And so the second Hajj comes around. How does the second Hajj come around? I decided at that point that I wanted to go forth and do Hajj again, but the time was extremely short. So I had to jump on with an agency. Now, there were agencies that were inviting me to come on as an imam. I didn't want to go as an imam. I wanted to go and do Hajj on behalf of my mother,
may Allah have mercy on her, who had just passed away. And she was not able to do Hajj in her own life because of her health issues. And so I wanted to go do Hajj for her and I wanted to, you know, have sort of my alone time, be able to do it, but you know, without having the pressure of being the imam of the group. So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala facilitated it, alhamdulillah, that I was able to go to Hajj in 2007 again. And it was, you know, I would get back from Hajj just a week before my wedding, actually, you know. And so while I was there at Hajj 2007, it was a completely different feeling. You know, I was pulled back and in that Hajj, I was in a completely different mindset than I was the year before, right? And the duas were different. The nature of how raw the duas were, was different. The feeling of vulnerability was different. The feeling of sadness was different, right? All of these different things that happened, subhanAllah, to where this Hajj was so different from the previous Hajj, it was almost like it was two separate rituals. And, you know, it taught me a valuable lesson amongst the many lessons. So by the way, I'll just say this, just to throw in something, that I almost didn't make it back in time for my wedding because my passport got lost. I was sitting in the mutawwaf's office. This is another Hajj lesson, by the way. I was sitting in the mutawwaf's office for almost two full days. And the guy that was, you know, trying to find my passport, who was holding me there, could not get in touch with my Hajj agency leader. I'm not going to shout out which Hajj agency I was with that year. But, you know, I was kind of hanging out with him for almost two whole days. I literally slept on the couch in the mutawwaf's office. I was like, I got to get back from my wedding. But I was, at that point, so just submitted to whatever is going to happen is going to happen.
And subhanAllah, he told me as I was going home, because we got to know each other, he told me that he'd never done Hajj before. And so he said that he's making the intention to go this next year because he was touched by our experience, our conversation about Hajj. And a lot of us don't realize sometimes that those that live in the immediate area of the haram, either they work Hajj season or that, you know, they have to open their shops or their employees at those shops. But the point is, is that a lot of those people that live around the haram have actually never gotten to do Hajj. So I prayed that he was able to actually do Hajj. Allahumma ameen. So I got home and just literally right in time for my wedding. I had the Hajj cough in my wedding and everything. But the main lesson, the main takeaway that I would like to impart with that is this idea that the best duas are the ones that are unscripted, the ones that are raw, the ones when you're in a deep moment of sadness and vulnerability. And a lot of times when we're making the duas that are about relieving hardship, and we might not feel like we're in great hardship, you know, we're very mechanical with those duas. A lot of times with our rituals, we can become very mechanical. But the thing is, is that when those rituals are there, when that salah is there, and when you're having a meaningful conversation with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala five times a day, and then hopefully building on that and having a portion of your night, every night, or at least as many nights as you can of the week where you just have a short period of qiyam, where you're praying, the best duas are going to be the ones that are completely unscripted. The rituals are there to create the environment of a conversation between you and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Of course, they're there first and foremost because Allah commands us to worship Him. And so we do them first and foremost out of responding to His command. But the environment that's created when
you are regularly going back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is such that it catches you in an extraordinary time. And you're able to use what has already been created of a relationship or already been started of a relationship between you and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to catch yourself at your lowest point. And the best duas are going to be the unscripted duas. I tell people this in Arafah, that in Arafah every year, you know, people prepare themselves and they don't know how to make dua for this many hours, but they've got these hours and hours and hours of dua, right? And some people just keep reading a book over and over and over again. It's like, you know, your best duas are going to be the ones that come from the heart. Allah doesn't need you to rhyme. Allah does not need you to sound a certain way. Observe, you know, read the duas from the sunnah to springboard. And, you know, of course, read them in a wholesome way. Don't just read through them quickly, but read them and appreciate them and understand them. But then let the next part of that be your unscripted duas. And I would say it's important for us to, especially this year, by the way, even in Arafah, even if you're not in Arafah, you know, we're not going to be in Arafah, except for the few that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala would have bestowed that favor upon this year. But the day of Arafah, like actually craft out a certain amount of time where you make unscripted dua, unscripted dua, pour your heart out to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And you'll see that the goal of the dua is not just to make the ask and to have the ask received, but also to connect you to the one from whom we find purpose in life. And, you know, so for me, I just wanted to share that with you all, subhanAllah, that the tale of two hajjas, right? So one hajj was optimistic, happy, you know, on top of the world, everything is going right.
The next hajj was, you know, falling apart, broken. Everything seems to be all over the place. But alhamdulillah, I mean, for the opportunity to have done that hajj, and we pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala have mercy on our parents and forgive our parents. And we pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us and our parents to be gathered in paradise, in Jannatul Firdos, around our beloved Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. And we pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala accept hajj once again from all those that intended it this year, and that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala facilitate it for us and accept it hajj in the near future. Allahuma Ameen. JazakumAllahu Khayran. Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
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