My Hajj Story
8 / 16
Du'as For Our Children | #MyHajjStory
Dr. Jibran Khokhar reflects on his role as a parent during his Hajj experience.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Bismillah wa a'lahu wa a'lahu wa salatu wa salamu ala man la nabiya ba'dah wa ala alihi wa sahaba wa tabi'ina lahum bi ihsan illa qiyam al sa'a. Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Today I wanted to share a few reflections of my own experience with hajj, especially in the context of my role as a parent. Alhamdulillah Allah SWT allowed my wife and I to complete our hajj last year. But this was not something that we had intentionally planned for last year. In fact, because of while we had wanted to go for hajj from the very beginning of our marriage, because of the food allergies that our elder son had, this was something that always was an impediment or at least made us hesitant in leaving him behind with all of those severe food allergies. But through the mercy of Allah SWT in the months leading up to when we had to decide to go for hajj last year, it happened that he successively passed three of his most severe food challenges for his allergies. And now hajj became a reality for us. In addition to that, the availability of a more affordable hajj package as well as a favorable tax return, some now made the perfect storm for us to be able to go for hajj last year. So we decided to put down the deposit and decided that we would go for hajj. And you know, while all of these were signs that Alhamdulillah finally this was our time to be able to go, it didn't mean that those hesitations or worrying about leaving two young kids behind just disappeared or evaporated. In fact, they still remained even after we had put down the deposit and made and started making the necessary arrangements.
But through this process, we had something somewhat ironic happen. One of the details that I didn't mention earlier, our elder son, his name is Ismail. And one of the young sisters that my wife was speaking to about providing childcare to help the grandparents with the kids, her name was Hajar. And so the irony of it sort of hit us over the head that this was another layer, another part of this act of submission, this great act of submission that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has asked us to do. And just like Hajar, when she asked Ibrahim Alaihissalam that, Has Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala ordered you to do this? And then responded with, Then Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will not forsake us. We accepted that if we submitted to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to take on this responsibility and this grand act of worship that we have been obligated to do, Insha'Allah Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala would take care of the two that we were leaving behind, Ismail and Ishaq. And we became comfortable when this realization happened. All the preparations were made and everything was good all the way up until we got in the car to head to the airport. And we saw the kids crying in the rear view mirror. And that's when the water work started for us too. Alhamdulillah we got to Mecca and got to our apartment building which was in Shisha. And something really interesting happened there. Because of where it was located, the cell coverage wasn't the greatest there.
So every night you would have this little gathering on the roof of parents. Where all parents from the UK to the US to Canada, all sorts of time zones would be up there hunched over a phone screen. Looking at their kids, talking to them, asking about what they ate, how they slept, how their day was, what they played with. And then showing the surroundings. And saying, look at this mountain, and this is what I did today, I got to see the Kaaba. And you could just see the happiness and excitement in the air on this rooftop. And it sort of made this little community of parents that would hang out there every night talking to their kids. And subhanAllah on our elevator rides down over meals, it also created a sense of camaraderie with the others that were staying. And there were different hajj groups staying in our building, but it created a sense of camaraderie around this shared role and shared lived experience of being a parent. And so you'd be sitting at a dinner and you'd be talking about, oh how old are your kids? Or these are mine, and here's a picture of them. And subhanAllah that became the topic of conversation quite often amongst the parents. And all of us realized that we were there not just leaving our kids behind. Part of us was that we were there for the sake of our kids. And this was a conversation I've had between many parents, that we were all there hoping that the dua's that we make to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala during this time would be accepted for our children. And so this thread sort of continued through the entirety of our hajj.
Going around the Ka'bah, making dua's, every time the dua's of Ibrahim a.s. especially related to his progeny would come up, they now meant more. That now there was this shared lived experience with Ibrahim a.s. that us as parents had as well. When going even to the Jamarat, the shaykh with us pointed out to where the great act of the zibh might have happened. That once again helped us connect to the story of Ibrahim a.s. And the repetitive submissions that he went through to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and submitted himself to the will of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in so many ways related to his children. And then beyond that, what we realized was that this having our kids in our minds and taking up some real estate even though we were there for this great act of worship was actually not a bad thing. Because when we were making those dua's, being able to picture them, being able to think about them made those dua's even more sincere. And so one specific instance that I wanted to share with everyone today was that on the day of al-arafa, we decided we had our own dua list and we decided that we would make our dua's in seclusion so that we could be alone with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for everything that we so sorely needed to ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. The one exception we made to this, my wife and I, was that when we would be making the dua's for our kids, we would sit together. We would sit together because this is something we shared, this concern for our children we shared and I may have made a dua that she might have missed or she might have made a dua that I might have missed.
And our different perspectives as parents would have made us make dua's that were different. But because we shared that concern, our collective ameen on those dua's hopefully would mean that those dua's would be accepted for our kids. And subhanAllah as overwhelming as the day of al-arafa was, added to it by the beautiful rain Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala sent down that made it so cool that you could stay out in the day even during the hardest parts of the day. The most emotional we felt was during the time where we sat together to make the dua's where we couldn't complete the dua's due to the emotions that overcame us. But subhanAllah we made those dua's and we said ameen together for all of them and once again realized that this was a connection with Ibrahim alayhi salam and his legacy in him making dua for the generations that came after him. And if we could do the same maybe Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala would accept our dua's just like he accepted the dua's of Ibrahim alayhi salam and created a nation and made him the father of the great nations. The last thing that I just wanted to touch upon before we end this is that another experience that I found beneficial was one of journaling during the hajj. Writing down my accounts of how the hajj experience went so that someday when my children Ismail and Ishaq go for hajj we would be able to share the stories and reflect and think about and compare and contrast the notes from that experience.
And so this is something that I would share as a recommendation is even if not during the time the days are packed the days are busy on your journey back or even when you come back as you're recounting those stories to your children as you're telling them about it maybe write them down as well. So that 10, 20, however many years from now those shared experiences can be relived and it can give us an opportunity to relive our own experiences with the hajj. Jazakumullahu khairan, wasalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
Welcome back!
Bookmark content
Download resources easily
Manage your donations
Track your spiritual growth
1 items
1 items
1 items
25 items
50 items
9 items
