As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. Sunnah rahman rahim, alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen, wassalatu wassalamu ala rasulihi alkarim, wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salamu taslimin kathira. So we are on hadith number 26. Last week we spoke about the justice that exists in the dynamics between parents and children in regards to the love and admiration that's to be shown towards the parents and the obedient children. Without sacrificing the justice that's owed to the children. And obviously that's a balance that's very hard to strike. But it's not impossible. And so it's something that the Prophet frequently spoke about. It's something that's frequently mentioned in the Qur'an. This unconditional love and obedience that you have towards the parents. Now as I said, the next few lectures, what we're going to do is we're going to focus on the family dynamics. Because family is part of the entire discussion of social justice. Because you cannot be just with those on the outside. You cannot be just with those on the inside. You cannot be just with those on the outside. You cannot be just with those on the inside. You cannot be just with those on the outside. Because you cannot be just with those on the outside of your home. But be a tyrant within. And there are many hadith in regards to this dynamic. And what I wanted to focus on today was the sin of favoritism. So treating one of your children in preferential fashion. Giving, you know, for whatever reason that may be. So either differentiating based on just the first child versus the second child. Or boys versus girls. Or whatever it may be. And how that really plays out in different ways. And if you don't have children, then this still will benefit you, inshallah ta'ala. And this isn't meant to be something for you to go back and call your parents up and be like, you never gave me this. And, you know, the sheikh said you're going to hell tonight. I'm not saying that about anybody. This is a very clear example of how this is a very important issue. And I think it's important to remember that. And I think it's important to remember that. And I'm not saying that about anybody. This is a very complicated discussion. And we take from the beneficial lessons from our Prophet, peace be upon him, in regards to all of these different dynamics that are found in these relationships.
So we'll start off with a hadith. It's a hadith that's narrated by al-Nu'man ibn al-Bashir, radiyaAllahu ta'ala, anhum. So al-Nu'man ibn al-Bashir, he says that, my father wanted to give me a gift. But my mother, Amrah, she stepped in, and she said that she would not agree to him giving me a gift. And she said, I'm not going to give you a gift. I'm not going to give you a gift. I'm not going to give you a gift. And she said that she would not agree to him giving me that gift unless the Prophet, peace be upon him, salallahu alayhi wasalam, witnessed it, meaning he approved of it. So he went to the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, the father of al-Nu'man ibn al-Bashir, and he said to him, he said, listen, I have a gift that I was going to give my son, but at the same time, my wife, Amrah, objected to that gift, unless you were made witness to it. And the Messenger, salallahu alayhi wasalam, responded, and he said, have you given to, or actually in one narration he said, do you have any other children? And he said, yes. And he said, have you given them the like of what you have given him? Are you giving to your other children the like of what you are giving him? And the father of al-Nu'man ibn al-Bashir responded in the negative. So the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, says, fattaqullah, be just with your Lord, wa'adilu bayna awladikum, and be just with your children. And he said in some of the narrations, he says, falatushhidni idhan, fa inni laashhadu ala jawl. The Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, said, do not make me a witness to your giving this gift, because I do not bear witness to oppression or to injustice. Those are really strong words for the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, to refuse to witness a father giving his child a gift, because he said, you have failed to do the same with your other children. Speaking of children, whoever has got the children in the back, insha'Allah, you can do justice by bringing them all out from the back so that they are not behind me, insha'Allah. So the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam,
said, do not have preferential treatment in regards to how you give gifts. And it was even a problem to give a gift to only one child. If you are going to give a gift to one child, you need to make sure that other children are receiving something like it. He didn't say the exact same thing. So it's not like if you are buying a gift for a girl that's specific to a girl, you need to buy the exact same thing for your son, if you have a girl and a boy. But something like it, something that is similar to it in its value, something that's similar to it in regards to the enjoyment that a child would find from it. And this is a narration that comes in many different forms. The particular one that I just mentioned is in Al-Bukhari. In the Muslim Imam Ahmed, for example, the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, said three times, a'dilu bayna abna'ikum, a'dilu bayna abna'ikum, a'dilu bayna abna'ikum. Be just with your children, be just with your children, be just with your children. In At-Tabarani, the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, says similar things. In fact, he says, a'dilu bayna awladikum, be just with your children in the same way that you would want them to be just with you. So be just with your children in the same way that you would want them to be just with you. So honor your children in the same way that you'd like to be honored by them. That's a very beautiful way of the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, to put it. Because usually when you think about those narrations, treat people as you would like to be treated. You don't think about that in regards to those that are inferior in regards to the dynamics of the family. But the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, is saying that in the same way you'd want to be treated, you should too treat your children. And a lot of times by the way, you know, abusive, abused children turn out to be abusive parents. And that cycle simply never ends. So the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, is
applying a principle that we usually speak of in regards to our outside relations, the way that we deal with one another within our families. And this hadith has so many different variations and additions, none of them contradicting one another, but more context that's given in some of the longer narrations that Imam al-Nasai, rahimahullah ta'ala, actually has a chapter on all of the variations of this particular hadith, the khabar, the narration of al-Nu'man ibn al-Bashir, radhi allahu ta'ala anhum. So how do we apply this in different forms? Or what are the practical manifestations of this? The scholars say that this is not simply referring to how you distribute gifts or what you give to your children financially. But they said this even applies in tarheeb and takbeer, even in the way that you welcome your children, even in the way that you emotionally give to your children. And Ibrahim al-Nakha'i, rahimahullah ta'ala, the sheikh of al-Bukhari, the teacher of al-Bukhari, he said that the companions used to encourage justice amongst the children, even in proportion of kisses, even in the way that you would kiss your children, and not give anyone more food than the others except for some sort of reason that's been specified. So even in regards to kisses and emotional well-being, the companions of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would pay attention to that. Now that's a major shift in the culture of the companions of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Why? Because we know this very famous narration one time the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was playing with his kids and he started to kiss them. He was playing with al-Hassan and Husayn, his grandkids, and he kissed them sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And there was a man that looks at the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and was like, you kiss your kids? That's weird. Why do you kiss your kids? He said, I have ten of them and I've never kissed any of them. I've got ten kids and I've never kissed any of them.
And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, what can I do of a man who has no mercy in his heart? That's a natural, loving feeling that used to be looked down upon amongst the Arabs and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying, no. That's something that you should express publicly. So the companions now are so attuned into the dynamics of justice in their lives that they're paying attention to how much they kiss their kids and if they're distributing those kisses equally. And yes, you know, even if your kid doesn't like to be kissed, puts their face away like mom, dad, stuff, you've got to make them enjoy it inshallah. So you've got to make sure that you maintain that loving relationship between all of your kids as much as you can. There are other narrations that are very beautiful and this one I absolutely love. To be honest with you, I've never heard of this narration until today. It's a hadith that's mursad. It's narrated by Al-Hassan wadi allahu ta'ala anhu. Al-Hassan describes this incident with the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam. He says that,... While the Prophet peace be upon him was speaking to his companions or teaching his companions, he said salallahu alaihi wasalam,...... He said a young boy walked in and walked up to his father. So he said that the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam or he said that this companion... He wiped the head of his child or he caressed the hair of his son...... And then he sat him down on his lap. So far this is good. So far this is a positive thing. He says,......... He said that some time passed, that a young girl came to him, meaning his daughter came to him as well. So he said,
...... So he said that he wiped her hair, you know, he caressed her hair. It wasn't a totally unloving father to his daughter. But then he sat her down on the ground. So the son is sitting on his right side, on his lap, and his daughter is sitting on the floor, even though he greeted them both, but he didn't greet them equally. So the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam, while he's speaking, he says, salallahu alaihi wasalam,................................................................................. adopted son of the Prophet ﷺ even though Allah ﷻ made it so that his name would be Zayd ibn Harithah instead of Zayd ibn Muhammad and that lineage would be preserved, the Prophet ﷺ still treated Usam ibn Zayd the exact same way. So he said that when the Prophet ﷺ used to see me, he'd put me on one of his thighs and then he'd put al-Hasan on the other one of his thighs and then he embraced us and he said, Allah murham huma fa inni arham huma. O Allah, be merciful to them as I am merciful to them.
Meaning love them like I love these two. And the Prophet ﷺ would embrace his kids and he would make sure to show them that equal treatment not favoring al-Hasan over Usama in any of those contexts or making any one of them feel like they're less loved. The Prophet ﷺ recognized that and he paid attention to that in every way. And this is something scholars comment on that it might be that there is a natural love or attachment to one of your kids. If you have more than one kid, you vibe better with one of your kids and you naturally feel that attachment. Usually it's, you know, if there's a girl that's closer to the dad or a boy that's closer to the mom, those dynamics are really funny sometimes or even if they're all girls. The dynamics are funny sometimes where you might have an attachment to one of your kids over the other. There might just be a better relationship for whatever reason. And that even the most righteous of people had that happen to them where sometimes they felt more attached to some of their kids than others. But that's something that's in the heart and that's not something that would translate into injustice. So it's narrated about Umar ibn Abdul Aziz, rahimahullah ta'ala, that he had one particular son that he really, really loved. He really, really loved. And Umar ibn Abdul Aziz had many children. So this particular son was very beloved to him. So one day he said to him, ya fulan, wallahi inni lauhibbuk, he said, you know, oh so and so. They don't actually mention the name of that son in the narration. So he's saying to his son, you know that I love you. Wama astatio an uurithuka ala akhika bilukma. Or an uuthiruka, sorry. And I am not, it is not possible for me to prefer you over one of your brothers by even a bite of food, with even a lukma. That I cannot let that translate into me giving you anything more than your brother, even
if it's simply a bite of food. So it plays out in that regard as well. And you know, even the greatest of people had those attachments, but at the same time they made sure to pay attention and to not let that lead to injustice. Imam Ahmed, rahimahullah, discussed this in the books of fiqh. He stated that if a person has more than one daughter and he gives one a certain amount of jewelry at her wedding, then an equal amount has to be given to her sisters or to her sister at her wedding. So you have to pay attention to that as well. Now are there exceptions to this? Are there times that you're going to give more to one child than the other? And is that ever permissible? Yes or no? What are some examples? Birthdays? No, even if you want to give something to your child on their birthday, give something to their brother or sister anyway. I'm not getting into the birthdays discussion as a whole. I'm just saying that even on a birthday, you've got to give both kids the same amount. What's that? Inheritance. How so? Al-dhakar wal-unfa, the son and the daughter. Okay, and sometimes the daughter more than the son in some of those equations. So sometimes the equations of inheritance would work out in a way that some children take more than others. What else? Yeah. Okay, so you live far away, so when your parents see you, they bring suitcases of stuff. But with your siblings that are around them, they're not as generous around here. That's natural, obviously, but someone's abroad. So scholars mention things like one child being sick. So if a child is sick, or they mention that one child is unemployed or has financial difficulties or circumstances, or they mention al-ghayb, one child is away and distant, so when you
see them, there's that intense gift giving as opposed to the children that are around, that are seen frequently. Or one child, you know, I found this really interesting. We talk about financial responsibility. When you look in the books of fiqh, the scholars would allow, for example, to give more to one child if one of the children is irresponsible or extravagant in their spending. So to not deprive them in a way that you would hurt them, but at the same time, you're also trying to teach your children responsibility, so to make sure that you don't give an irresponsible spender the same amount of money sometimes. So there are different things that come with that. Also varying ages and phases in life. Some people have kids that are 20 years older than their siblings. So obviously there's going to be a difference. It's not like if you're giving your two-year-old something, you've got to give your 22-year-old the exact same thing. But these are things to generally take into consideration that we don't fall into this favoritism and differential parenting. It's really interesting. If you look up, there's a 2013 study from the University of Toronto. They studied 400 families and the effects of favoritism. One of the things that's really interesting, and I'm not going to go through that study, you could read it online, but one of the things that's really emphasized is that favoritism doesn't just affect the neglected child, but it actually has deep psychological ramifications for everybody in the family. It actually ruins everything in the house. So it has implications on the children when they become adults. It has implications on the parents themselves. Favoritism is not just a crime or a problem for the child that's not getting the equal amount of attention, not getting the equal amount of emotional support, not getting that equal amount of love. And even, this sort of goes now into something that's pointed out within the Quran, even
in situations where a parent does not show favoritism, envy can develop between the children that could have major harmful effects going forward. What's the greatest example of that? Ya'qub, Jacob with his children, Ya'qub with Yusuf and the brothers of Yusuf. Ya'qub and his children. Was Ya'qub a bad father to the other children? I mean you guys should answer this pretty quickly. The Prophet of Allah, was he bad to his other children? No. Did he show favoritism or preference to Yusuf? No he didn't. It's not like he would tell the other brothers, why can't you be more like Yusuf? It's not like he would do that. That's like the worst thing that you could do to your kids by the way. I don't know why people think that's a good idea in parenting to constantly shove one child's accomplishments in the face of, why can't you be more like your brother? Why can't you be more like your sister? That's not going to make them want to aspire to be like their brother or their sister. It'll make them hate their brother or their sister and resent you and feel like, you know what, your standards are impossible. Forget about you and your standards. That's not smart to do with our kids. It's not something that we find from the Prophet. When the Prophet caught Anas slacking off instead of doing what the Prophet sent him to do, he didn't go up to him and say, you know what, Hasan and Hussain never fall short on an errand that I give them. He never told Fatima about Zainab. I mean none of these things are narrated. Never once do you see the Prophet showing that preference or putting down one child in the name of praising the other. But did the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam have a special attachment to one of his children? Fatima radiyaAllahu anha. It's there. But he did not favor her in action. He was still just to his kids. But the heart of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam was in Fatima radiyaAllahu anha.
She resembled the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. She was the daughter of Khadija radiyaAllahu anha. She had a special place with the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. There's no doubt. But you never put down one child in the name of praising another child. So then someone might say, well, with Ya'qub's sons, look what happened. He didn't praise. In fact, he told Yusuf alayhi salam, when Yusuf had the dream, he told Yusuf, لا تقصص رؤياك على اخوتك. Don't tell your dream to your brothers. فيكيدوا لك كيدا. They might plot against you. They ended up plotting against him anyway, right? You know, I remember Imam Ibn Uthaymeen rahimahullah ta'ala saying something that was really, I thought it was beautiful. He said it sort of as a side note on this ayah, but I loved it. He said that, you know, had Ya'qub or had Yusuf told his brothers about the dream, they wouldn't have agreed to throw him in the well in the first place. They would have said, let's finish him off. They would have killed him right away. So the fact that Yusuf heeded the advice of his father and Ya'qub did not show that favoritism, but they still envied him and they threw him in the bottom of the well, you know, actually saved his life. It actually did translate into saving his life. And obviously we know what happens after that. So these things might arise and the shaitan doesn't need any help in creating envy between siblings or distancing between brothers and sisters. So when you're dealing with your children, don't pour gasoline on those flames that are already present sometimes between children because that competitiveness is natural. So don't play it because it might have a short-term benefit, but in the long term it will distance your children from you and it will distance your children from each other. So it's not from the guidance of the Prophet ﷺ to do that. And then, you know, to a hadith and then I'll go into one more form of preference. You never find the Prophet ﷺ talking about wholesome justice
and the reward of a person who is just in a wholesome sense without mentioning the family. So the hadith in Sahih Muslim where the Prophet ﷺ says, إِنَّ الْمُقْسُطِينَ عِندَ اللَّهِ عَلَى مَنَابِرَ مِنْ نُورٍ عَنْ يَمِينَ الرَّحْمَانِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ that verily the dispensers of justice will be seated on pulpits of light beside Allah ﷻ on the right side of the Most Merciful. And the Prophet ﷺ mentions who these people are. He mentions ﷺ الَّذِينَ يَعْدِلُونَ فِي حُكْمِهِمْ وَأَهْلِهِمْ that those who are just with those who have been placed under their care are just in their rulings and with their families. They specify, they show justice with their families. The Prophet ﷺ also mentions a person who dies, وَهُوَ غَاشٌ لِرَعِيَّتِ and he is dishonest or cheats his flock. He cheats his flock. Remember the Prophet ﷺ said, كُلُّكُمْ رَاعًا وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْؤُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِ One of the first narrations we covered in the series, all of you are shepherds and all of you will be answerable to Allah about your flock. Your first flock is your family, right? So the Prophet ﷺ mentions a person who dies, وَهُوَ غَاشٌ لِرَعِيَّتِ He cheated his flock, meaning he was dishonest with his flock or he deprived his flock or didn't do what he should have with his flock. حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ الْجَنَّةِ The Prophet ﷺ mentioned that paradise is forbidden from a person such as that. That's something that is important when we're talking about justice to those on the outside of the house, obviously justice amongst the children. The last form of preference I'll talk about is the preference with gender. Preference, if Allah ﷻ has given you boys, to show preference to boys in wanting sons over daughters. Obviously this was something prevalent in the culture
that the Prophet ﷺ dealt with. And the Prophet ﷺ mentioned frequently, that's why you find so many ahadith about the rewards of raising daughters in particular. I mean he's combating an extremely ignorant culture, a culture that shows extreme favoritism to boys to the point of killing their daughters. So all of these ahadith, the Prophet ﷺ mentioned, the one who's given daughters and behaves with goodness towards them and treats them well, they will serve as a protection for him on the Day of Judgment. Or he mentioned ﷺ the one who takes care of three daughters and excels in his treatment of them, will be guaranteed paradise, the hadith in Abu Dawud. In fact the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ where he mentioned, and I've heard some people say there is no reward like the reward for taking care of an orphan. Meaning that the Prophet ﷺ said, I am the one who takes care of the orphan, I'm like these two fingers. Just nod your head, yes, act like you've heard it, right? You've all heard it, obviously. The Prophet ﷺ said that no one is given a daughter and raises them well, except that he will be like this with me on the Day of Judgment. So the hadith of the reward of taking care of an orphan also applies to taking care of a daughter. Because the Prophet ﷺ was pushing back on these things. And that's why Salih ibn Ahmed mentioned that Imam Ahmed ﷺ used to say that prophets were the fathers of girls. That prophets were the fathers of girls. Yaqub ibn Bakhtan, he says that I had seven daughters and every time a daughter was born to me, Imam Ahmed ﷺ would come to me and say, Oh Abu Yusuf, the prophets were the fathers of girls, they were the fathers of daughters. And he would remind me of that, of that blessing. And there's the ayah in Surah Ash-Shura, which is the 49th ayah, where Allah ﷻ mentions,
لِلَّهِ مُلْكُ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَاءُ To Allah belongs the heavens and the earth, He creates what He wills. And then He mentions, subhanahu wa ta'ala, that He gives yahabu, that He gives to those, li man yasha, to those that He wills. And He mentions inatha, He mentions girls. And then He mentions, then He mentions yahabu, that Allah ﷻ gives adh-dhikr, that He gives to whom He wills, sons. So when He mentions what He's gifting or what He gives, He mentions daughters and then He mentions sons. And that's not something that was lost on the mufassireen, on the scholars of tafsir. So for example, you'll find Wathila ibn al-Asqa' Wathila ibn al-Asqa' who mentions that it's from the blessings of a woman that gives birth to a female before a male, because Allah began with them first. You find a narration, or you find a long statement from Ibn al-Qayyim, rahimahullah, where he talks about this particular ayah. And he says, why did Allah ﷻ mention girls before boys? That Allah ﷻ would gift girls, and He would gift boys. And so He gave different reasons that this could be in the ayah. He says first and foremost that He began with the mention of girls, and some of the scholars said that that was to console the girls that were mistreated or whose status was perceived as inferior. He mentioned the first one that that was first and foremost to girls themselves that were put down and whose status was looked at as less than, less than boys in that society. And he said it's also that Allah ﷻ mentions li man yasha' that He is the one who wills because the context of the discussion is that this is not the parents' will, this is Allah's will.
Allah chooses who He gives girls to, Allah chooses who He gives boys to, and Allah ﷻ knows what He's doing. And so He also mentioned that in another view, He said that Allah ﷻ gave preference to what jahliyyah, to what the people of the days of ignorance would derive to the point that they would bury young girls alive. So Allah ﷻ mentions girls in that fashion to show that preference in a way that would remind them of the creation of Allah ﷻ. Think about the 7th century here in Arabia and that harsh culture, and all of this is being taken into consideration, and this ignorance is being pushed back against in that strong fashion. He also mentions that Allah ﷻ in the ayah mentions inatha, Allah ﷻ mentions girls, and then He mentions adh-dhukur, which are males with the particular mention, the definite article of al in front of boys and not in front of girls. And this is a hard one to really appreciate outside of the Arabic language. But Ibn al-Qayyim, rahim Allah, said notice how he kept the word females, inatha, indefinite by saying inatha without saying al inatha. This is Ibn al-Qayyim saying this, not someone making this stuff up. And he said he used the definite article with males by saying adh-dhukur. And he said by doing that, he amends the perceived inferiority of the girl by bringing her forward. And he refers to her in that fashion even without the al in the Arabic language. The point that he's trying to make is that it's a stronger expression to use the word girls without inatha, without the al, without the definite article before it, whereas Allah ﷻ uses that with males.
He wrote that in Tuhfat al-Mawdud, Bi-Ahkam al-Mawlud, which is a book where he spoke particularly about the rulings in regards to children. So the point is that in some societies and some cultures, as crazy as it may be, even today in the 21st century, you guys are thinking 7th century Jahili culture, but hey, it happens today too, where people make dua specifically for a boy, and it's like it's got to be a boy, and if you get a girl the first time, they say, well, hopefully the next time around it'll be a boy, as if it was a fail the first time. And you think about how ugly that is. But it's real, and it happens in a lot of cultures, even with people that are supposedly educated and advanced in their knowledge. And the last thing that I'll mention here in regards to preferential treatment, what the scholars mention, the right to education, the right to educating the girl and the boy equally as well. That in some cultures and in some societies, it's an injustice that only the boys are educated without the girls, and this is something that's mentioned in our classical textbooks, that it's a right of both of the children to be taught and educated. And you have in that the example of Imam Malik, of whom his children, the greatest scholar of his children was actually his daughter Fatima. She memorized his collection of al-Muwatta, and she used to teach his thousands of students the Muwatta of Imam Malik, the collection of hadith from Imam Malik, the scholars understood this value of imparting that knowledge and educating all of their children equally. So these are some of the things that the scholars mention here in regards to preferential treatment, whether that preference is based on a natural attachment, or whether that preference is based on gender, or whether that preference is based on, you know, the older child versus the younger child, that all of these things are to be taken into consideration. If you have a people, remember the first thing the Prophet ﷺ said to Nu'man ibn Bashir's father was,
be conscious of Allah, ittaqillah, that be mindful of Allah. So when you have a generation of companions that feared Allah ﷻ so much and were so conscious and mindful of Allah ﷻ that they paid attention to how much they were kissing their children to make sure they were not unfair in that distribution, then what does that say about the way that we treat our children, you know, today, and how we sometimes could be unjust with our children. Yes, even on birthdays, make sure you give all your kids the same amount of gifts, even the ones that are nicer to you and the ones that are, sometimes give you a harder time. May Allah ﷻ make us just with our families, and may Allah ﷻ allow us never to become unjust due to an injustice that was done to us. Allahumma ameen. Questions? I know there are going to be probably a few questions on this one, unless you guys are just too afraid to ask questions. Yeah, tafadhal, Shaykh. Wa salamu alaikum. Yes. Well, there are going to definitely be different things to be taken into consideration with each gender. That doesn't mean that it has to be unjust. But, for example, you know, if it becomes to a point where it's oppressive towards one of your children over the other, then it becomes a problem. And I think that there are some things that are natural forms of oppression.
So, how society as a whole treats the sin of a girl versus the sin of a boy, right? That's still today, and even in our communities, our American Muslim communities, a boy's sin is far less dishonorable, right? Or dishonoring than a girl's sin at times. So, that's also a form of injustice, a form of vur. So, if that protectiveness is coming from a place of, you know, well, I don't want you to dishonor me and things of that sort, that type of background, then it becomes problematic. But there are certain unique considerations that are often going to take place with girls and boys. And not just with girls and boys because they're girls and boys, but some kids might require more restriction at time or more protectiveness at time. And that's fine. That's fine. That's not necessarily a harmful thing, but it should not be to a point where you're stepping on or squandering a person's right. I hope that makes sense. They're not black and white issues. They never are. So, these are guiding principles that we have from the Hadith of the Prophet, but then you have specific situations that we try to diagnose in light of those guiding principles. Thank you.