Upheld by Allah: Women in the Quran
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Ep. 5: Standing Up for Yourself: Khawla bint Tha'labah (rA)
In hard times, Allah does not expect us to suffer in silence. No one demonstrates this notion better than Khawlah bint Tha’labah (rA). When her husband spoke unacceptable words to her, she did not timidly accept them; she took her case directly to the Prophet ﷺ —and Allah Himself validated her complaint and memorialized it in the Qur’an.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where speaking up can create a change, then remember Khawlah (rA), and draw on her courage to turn to Allah and His Messenger in standing up for justice.
Tune in to the episode 5 of Upheld by Allah: Women in the Qur'an with Ustadha Lobna Mulla.
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Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Have you ever confided in someone about an unjust situation that you are in, and all you were told was to just be patient? Of course, patience is a virtue, but there are times when patience is all we can do, and there are times when we can take action to mitigate the injustice. There is a woman in the Qur'an who is famous for just that, pleading her case to Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. That woman is none other than Khawla bint Tha'labah, Radhi Allahu Anha. Khawla Radhi Allahu Anha relates her own story. She says, By Allah, concerning me and my husband, Aus ibn Samit, Allah revealed the beginning of Surat al-Mujadila. I was married to him, and he was an old man who was bad-tempered. One day he came in, and I raised a particular issue with him again. He became angry and said, You are to me as the back of my mother. Then he went out and sat for a while in the meeting place of his people. Then he came back and wanted to resume marital relations with me. I said, No way, by the one in whose hand is the soul of Khawla. You will never get what you want from me after saying what you said, until Allah and His Messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, decides between us. SubhanAllah, with her resolve and setting of boundaries, she shatters stereotypes of the timid and weak woman who has no voice. Imagine Khawla stopping her husband's injustice with her words and her actions, and then taking her case to Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. She continues her story and says, He tried to force himself on me, but I was able to resist because I was a young woman and he was a weak old man. I pushed him away. Then I went to one of my neighbors and borrowed a cloak from her. And went to the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. I sat before him, told him what my husband had done, and began to complain to him about my sufferings because of my husband's bad temper. The Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said,
Oh Khawla, your cousin is an old man, so fear Allah with regard to him. I did not leave him until Qur'an was revealed concerning me. He was overcome as he usually was when Qur'an was revealed to him, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And when it was over, he said, Oh Khawla, Allah has revealed Qur'an concerning you and your husband. Then he recited to me, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Certainly has Allah heard the speech of the one who pleads with you, Oh Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, concerning her husband and directs her complaint to Allah. And Allah hears your dialogue. Indeed, Allah is hearing and seeing. The Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, told me, let him release a slave. I said, Oh messenger of Allah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he does not have that. He does not have that means to do that. He said, then let him fast for two consecutive months. I said, by Allah, he is an old man and he is not able to do that. He said, then let him feed 60 poor people with a wasaq, a couple hundred kilos of dates. I said, Oh messenger of Allah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he does not have that much. He said, then we will help him with a handful of dates. I said, and I will help him with another handful, Ya Rasulullah. He said, you have done right and done well. Go and give it in charity on his behalf, and then take care of your cousin properly. And I did so. This incident placed Khawla radiAllahu anha in high regards among the companions who were her contemporaries and knew her virtues, especially Omar ibn al-Khattab radiAllahu anhu. One day Khawla radiAllahu anha met him outside the masjid when al-Jarud al-Abdi was with him. Omar radiAllahu anhu, who was the Khalif at the time, greeted her and she said to him, Oh Omar, I remember you when you were called Umair, which means little Omar, the marketplace of Uqaz, taking care of the sheep with your stick. So fear Allah in your role as Khalifa, taking care of the people, and know that the one who fears the threat of punishment in the hereafter realizes that it is not far away. And the one who fears death, fears missing some opportunity in this life.
Al-Jarud then said, you have spoken too harshly to the Emir of the believers woman. Omar said, let her be. Do you know that this is Khawla, to whose words Allah listened from above the seven heavens? By Allah, Omar should by rights listen to her. Ibn Kathir mentions in his tafsir that a man said to Omar radiAllahu anhu, when he saw him welcoming her warmly and listening to her, he said, you left a man of Quraysh and came to listen to this old woman? Omar radiAllahu anhu said, woe to you. Do you not know who this is? The man said, no. Omar radiAllahu anhu said, this is a woman whose complaint Allah listened to from above the seven heavens. This is Khawla bint Tha'labah. By Allah, if she did not leave me until night fell, I would not tell her to leave until she had got what she came for. Unless the time for prayer came, in which case I would pray and then would come back to her until she had got what she came for. SubhanAllah, Khawla is an inspiration for all of us. She summoned the courage to seek Prophet Muhammad salAllahu alayhi wa sallam's guidance when she was faced with injustice. And when she couldn't get an immediate solution from him, as the legislation didn't exist yet, Khawla didn't give up and go home, but rather she continued to plead until Allah Subhanu wa ta'ala revealed Quran on her behalf. When we find ourselves in difficult, unjust or even abusive situations, we may not always have an immediate way out, but we can put our trust in Allah Subhanu wa ta'ala as we try to find that solution. Understanding that we don't need to sit and suffer in silence, if we have the ability to make a change, can be very empowering. Working to right a wrong, whether at home, school or the workplace is not easy, maybe very difficult, but perhaps reflecting on the courage of Khawla
will encourage us to plead our case.
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