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Is It OK to Wish for Death? | Daily Reminders
Is it ok to wish or pray for God to take your life? Am I sinful for feeling this way? What is the best way to pray when I do feel this way?
If you're thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or KhalilCenter.com.
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. As-salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan. In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. There is no god but Allah, the One who has no partner. And the final destination is for the righteous. O Allah, send blessings and peace upon Your servant and messenger Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his family and companions. May Allah make it easy for our brothers and sisters in Lebanon that were already suffering through a political and economic crisis. A lot of mercy on those that have passed. Make it easy for their families. Truly a very difficult and horrifying video to watch. And obviously it's going to take a very long time for them. So we make du'a for them. SubhanAllah, I was actually just about to write something on Kashmir and then that popped up. And it's a reminder of the tragedies that are mounting around the world. We pray for those that are victims of these senseless tragedies and this oppression wherever they may be. With that being said, the topic that I wanted to speak about tonight is a very sensitive topic. And I want to seek forgiveness in advance if I say something that further injures someone that is feeling hurt right now. And it really stems from the discussion yesterday. Yesterday I spoke about this idea of your improbable birth. How many things could have gone wrong. You were meant to be. Now what are you meant to fully do? And all of the ways that things came to be so that you could come to be. And trusting the divine decree of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and then trying to find your path within that guidance, within that contentment. And it was very heartbreaking to read some of the comments of people that said, I wish I was never alive and people that express their wanting to die.
And so I wanted to talk about this. And the topic is hard. The title can't fully reflect what it is that I want to talk about, nor will I be able to fully discuss this problem within a few minutes. It is a phenomenon that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us that there would come a time that a person would pass by a grave. And because of what they are going through, they would say, Ya laytani kuntu sahib hadh alqabr, oh how I wish that I was the occupant of this grave. I wish that that was my grave. And this would be a person that, you know, on the outside, on the surface may seem to have everything going right for them. But, you know, they just don't feel that happiness and they don't have that purpose or that willingness, the reason to live. They don't feel it. And I want to start by saying that if you are someone that is experiencing these things, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala cure you and help you through these difficult moments. Please reach out to someone to help you. Even if that's just calling the suicide prevention lifeline, you could look it up and talk to someone. If it's reaching out to someone, but please don't suffer in silence. Please reach out to someone and talk to someone. And that is part of your ibadah, that's part of your worship of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. That doesn't make you less of a person. That doesn't make you a bad person to seek help. In fact, if you're seeking help to be more whole, then that is in and of itself a way of honoring the life that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave to you. And that's a form of worship. So seek help and don't be embarrassed to seek help and don't feel like you are taking away from yourself by seeking help. This is something that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has put us on this earth for as well. To comfort one another and to help one another. To support one another in truth and to support one another in patience.
So please reach out to someone inshallah that can help you and talk to someone. Now I wanted to speak about this from a place of dua. Is it okay to ask Allah to take your life? Is it okay to wish for death in the way that the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam spoke about in this regard? And to express that, verbalize that in a dua. So we're not talking about a person that's taking their own life but a person that wishes for death. And obviously when you read the story of Maryam alayhi salam, Mary the mother of Jesus peace be upon them both. Maryam alayhi salam as she was driven to the trunk of the tree by the pains that she was experiencing in labor. She said, ya laytani mittu qabla haadha wa kuntu nasyan mansiyya. I wish that I had died before this. Some of the scholars they said that Maryam alayhi salam actually thought that she was dying. And obviously she's a young woman delivering all by herself. And this is, you know, and you ajjila laha, asking to hasten her death because she thinks that she's dying anyway. And some of them, you know, said that this refers to the shame that Maryam alayhi salam knew that she was going to receive. And of course, Jibreel alayhi salam would respond, nadaha min tahtiha alla tahzani, not to grieve. And to give her a sense of purpose and to give her a sense of, you know, of hope in the midst of great despair. And when things seem to be completely bleak. So that's, you know, that's something that we find in the Quran. But it's a very raw expression. It's a very human expression even from a perfect woman, right. And that's something that's profound that this is a perfect woman here. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam mentions her amongst those that perfected their faith. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, inna allaha astafakee wa taharakee wa astafakee ala nisaa al alameen. This is the woman chosen above the women of the world. And a woman that's an example to men and women of devotion. And she expressed this pain.
Now, this is something for us to talk about. And there are a few ahadith that I want to go through. And then the dua part. The supplications that are allowed and that which is not allowed. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, none of you should wish for death. If he is righteous, perhaps he may add to his good works. And if he is a sinner, then it may be that he may repent in the case that he is given a long life. And I'm paraphrasing and just giving the translation. Because this narration from Abu Huraira radiya allahu ta'ala anhu doesn't have the dua part in it. So the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam in general talks about this idea of a person not wishing for the end of their life. Because every moment that you live is an opportunity to get closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Either through a good deed that you add to your record or through repentance that removes a bad deed from your record. Every single moment that you have, every day that you have is an opportunity. You say alhamdulillah for that day. You praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for that day. And you do what you can to get closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So every moment, every moment. The believer is not taught to hate life because life is an opportunity. Every moment of life is a gift and an opportunity to get closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. To do more good and to repent from whatever bad has been done. So to get closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And there's actually a narration where the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam found a person who was wishing for death. A young man. And the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, تَتَمَنَّ الْمَوْتُ وَأَنَا عِنْدَكَ Are you wishing for death and I am with you? Subhanallah, I mean you think about the compassion of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam to that young man. Right? Are you wishing for death while I am amongst you? And of course he wasn't wishing for death because he was with the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. But perhaps he was not recognizing the great blessing of life and particularly the blessing of living when the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam was alive. I mean being a companion of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam and all that comes with that. And the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam taught him a dua.
And this dua is one that the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam also says in the following context. He says, لا يتمنين أحدكم الموت من ضر أصابة Let not one of you wish for death because of a calamity that befalls you. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam says فإن كان لابد فاعلا And if a person feels like they have to wish for death. Like if a person is to a point where they are going to truly express to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala the desire to no longer live. If you cannot get away from saying something of those sorts. Instead of just outright asking Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to end your life or that he takes your life. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said فإن كان لابد فاعلا فليقل اللهم أحيني ما كانت الحياة خيرا لي وتوفني إذا كانت الوثاة خيرا لي The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said let that person say اللهم أحيني Oh Allah give me life ما كانت الحياة خيرا لي As long as life is good for me. As long as you know that life is good for me. وتوفني and take my life إذا كانت الوفاة خيرا لي If death is better for me. If you know that death is better for me. This is also by the way, you know, very instructive and that the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said start with life. Right, start with life. Don't start with asking for death if it's good for you. Start with the basics. The basis that Allah has put you here for a reason and that there is good in your life to still be done. Right, so start with حياة Start with Oh Allah let me live so long as life is good for me. And then get to the part of and take my life when you know that death is good for me. And so Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala knows when you're going to be at your peak. Allah azawajal knows when you are going to be in your finest form.
And you know, just like the story of that young man, that child that's taken in the story of Surat Al-Kahf with Al-Khadir alayhi salam and Musa alayhi salam. You know Allah azawajal knew what was good for that child and Allah knew what was good for those parents. And you might see someone subhanAllah who is, you know, an incredibly righteous person and they're taken at a certain time and you say subhanAllah had they lived longer. And it may be that that person was in a state of being with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Their heart was in a place, their worship was at a place where that was the best time for Allah to take them. Because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala was blessing that person with taking them at the most righteous point of their lives. And so you see sometimes very righteous people that die and you wonder why they died so young. And Allah knows best, right? And the default is that the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said good deeds extend a person's lifespan. But it may be that Allah azawajal knew that that was the best moment for that person because of their righteousness at those moments. That was a person that would ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for husn al-khitam, for the best of endings, for the best of their deeds, to be the last of their deeds. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala took them in those moments because that was what was best for them, right? So we don't know and you see righteous people pass away young and that could be the reason indeed. So the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said it is permissible to say, Oh Allah give me life so long as life is good for me. And take my life when you know that death is good for me. When you know that I've reached the time when death is actually good for me. There's another element of this which is that a person sees the way the world is going and a person fears that the fitna will become so tough for them, that trial and dissension will become so tough for them that they will not be able to survive whatever fitna is coming.
Whether that is the fitna of an oppressor, that's the fitna of confusion or the fitna of misguidance, whatever it may be, that a person would lose themselves because of the increase of fitna. And this is a hadith that the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam used to, a dua' that the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam indeed used to make. So this is something that the Messenger salallahu alayhi wa sallam used to make dua' for. So this is a dua' that a person can say at all times. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam used to say, Allahumma inni as'aluka fa'alil khairat. I'm going to say it slower. Allahumma inni as'aluka fa'alil khairat wa tarka almunkarat wa hubbal masakeen. Many of you have heard me talk about this part of the dua' that Oh Allah I ask you for the ability to do good, for the ability to shun evil, and for the love of the poor, to love the poor. And then the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam says, wa idha aratta fin nasi fitna faqbidni ilayk ghayra maftoon. And if you have willed that the people will be tested, that there will be some sort of fitna that will come, and that this is a fitna that I may lose myself in, or that faith may become too difficult to hold on to, or I might not be able to cling on to it, then bring me back to you without being amongst those that are maftoon, without being amongst those that fall to the fitna. SubhanAllah it's a beautiful dua. Why? Because a person is not asking for death at that point, because of sadness or because of ingratitude, but because they want to die in a state of gratitude, and they want to die in a place where they're closest to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. They recognize that this life is merely a means of converting the best possible outcome in the next life. So if a person gets to a point where this life is no longer serving that purpose, then they would rather not be in this life. Because if the fitna was to become so severe, and Allah knows us, Allah knows our weaknesses, if the fitna was to become so severe that a person would not be able to cling to faith,
that a person would not be able to cling to purpose, then at that point, faqbidni ilayk awfa tawafani ilayk return me back to you ghayra maftoon, without being tested or tried in that way. This is something that we also find, these are two duas that we find, two supplications that we find from the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. In general though, the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us that the life of the believer is khayr, it's good no matter what. With bala is ajr, with trial is an opportunity for reward, with test and trial comes an opportunity for reward. And every moment that you have is a moment of either tawbah or tasbih, repenting for something that you have committed, or glorifying Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for his perfection and all that he has bestowed upon you. Every single moment is a blessing. ajaban mi amr al mu'min And that's why the affair of the believer is so strange, because whether good or bad come to that person, that person is able to convert it into a beneficial opportunity for them, for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and for the betterment of their akhira, for the betterment of their hereafter. So the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, khayrukum, the best of you, man taala umaru wa hasuna a'malu or kama qal alihi salatu was salam The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, the best of you are those who live long lives and who increase their good deeds. Again, some people die young and righteous, Allah knows what's best for us, that's why we engage in the performance of good deeds, we try to find our purpose and anchor ourselves in that purpose of pleasing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and we trust Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that as we ask him to give us the best ending, that he will give us that ending at the time that we are in the best state of faith, we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to grant that to us, we ask Allah to comfort all of those that are grieving and that are ailing, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala help us through our hardships and difficulties, and I want to end on this note,
if you feel it on the inside, if you feel that leak, that constriction, that is not a sign of low faith, right? These are things that happen, a person will undoubtedly feel a sense of anxiety in the face of great trial, it's not about whether or not you feel anxiety or whether you feel hardship or whether you are feeling sadness, it's about how you act upon that sadness, right? That will bring you close to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala or be in your favor or not, and so don't feel guilty if you're feeling sad or if you're feeling down, try to use that however to gain the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and to anchor yourself in your ultimate purpose, your purpose which is to please Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, to worship Him and to do good, may Allah help all of us through any difficult times and may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala help those that are oppressed around the world. I know this was a very, very long reflection, I wanted to do justice to the topic as much as I could, I'd recommend going to the trauma series on yaqeeninstitute.org and you'll find a lot in the trauma series that is a lot more helpful, so Jazakum Allah khayran to all of you for tuning in. Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
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