Virtual Khutbahs
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Don't Ever Say "If Only I Would Have" | Virtual Khutbah
The word “if” opens the doors of the devil, and the doors of doubt. Embrace where you are, and focus on where you need to be.
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Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. Hi everyone, Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu I'm Abdullah As-Samai'i from Shaitan Wa Al-Jamil Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem Alhamdulillah Rabbul A'lameen Wa ala al-Ulwani wa ala al-Dhalimeen Wa al-Aqiba tul Mutakeen Allahumma Salli wa Sallim wa Barak ala abdika wa rasulika Muhammadin Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallim tasliman kathiran So, today's lesson to be honest with you is one that InshaAllah I pray that will benefit many people Because it speaks to I think many realities that People have in different circumstances And so you might be stuck in this situation of regret And particularly pained by a decision that you made And or you think an outcome that would have been different Had you made another decision And you feel like you can't get out of these circumstances And you know, I think it's important to acknowledge that last week I spoke about Fasatafkuroona maa'akoolu lakum You'll remember what I said to you And I talked about this idea of paying attention And some of the things that come to pass later on Whether it's a parent's advice or a righteous friend's advice And that it makes sense later on And then this week we're talking about the other side of that Which is, you know, after the fact When a person finds themselves in a situation Where they feel completely stuck They feel like they cannot get themselves out of place And they're really beating themselves up over What has happened because they feel like Had things happened differently They would be in a different place And I want to frame this topic In the full hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Because sometimes people only hear the last part of this Which is the title of the khutbah And they don't pay attention to the full hadith And when you see the full hadith Then you realize the spirit in which the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Said these words of not being obsessed
Or not being stuck in the word if, in the word law It's actually the famous hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Where he said the stronger believer is better and more beloved to Allah Than the weak believer, although both are good And if any of you have watched the series Allah Loves I actually talk about this hadith in some detail The strength here that's being referenced is not merely physical strength It's the strength of character, the strength of faith It's the strength of independence, not being vulnerable to other people Or not finding yourself dependent on other people But instead being as independent of them as possible And as dependent on Allah as possible Could refer to financial strength in the sense that Allah encourages us to seek a position of being financially healthy So that we can spend on those who aren't The point being is that you should seek to be in a position of strength Not in an unprincipled way, but in a way that's pleasing to Allah So that you can do the things that are pleasing to Allah So this is an empowering hadith And then the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says احرص على ما ينفعك ولا تعجز The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said Dedicated, strive to seek that which will benefit you ولا تعجز and do not feel helpless Strive to do that, to accomplish that which will benefit you Do not feel helpless or incapable Okay, so the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam here is referring Specifically to the effort that you put in, alright And particularly, you know, I posted this on Facebook How much of what is beneficial are you taking advantage of? And how much of things that are of no benefit to you, are you indulging? And this idea of ما ينفعك, look, focus on that which is beneficial to you Focus on that which is beneficial to you Strive towards that which is beneficial to you
ولا تعجز and do not feel helpless Then the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said فَإِنْ غَلَبَكَ أَمْرٌ فَقُلْ قَدَّرَ اللَّهُ وَمَا شَاءَ فَاعَلٌ And then if something overwhelms you, then say قَدَّرَ اللَّهُ وَمَا شَاءَ فَاعَلٌ It is the decree of Allah and He does what He wills So basically, this is once you have put forth your best And things don't turn out the way that you want them to turn out Then say قَدَّرَ اللَّهُ وَمَا شَاءَ فَاعَلٌ I did my part, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has decreed And I'm pleased with what He has decreed And then the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said وَإِيَّاكَ وَاللَّوْا And beware of the word لو The word if He said فَإِنَّ اللَّوْا تَفْتَحُ عَمَلَ الشَّيْطَانِ He said that the word if only opens the doors of the shaytan It only gives the room or gives room for the devil to play And the devil to distract you And to really really really mess you up To really mess you up And so what this hadith is talking about is that a person gets stuck In this idea of the outcome And in the process gets so debilitated that they no longer put forth their best effort Whether it's in regards to their worship or in regards to other areas of life Which have the potential to be worshipped If they are pursued with righteous means and for righteous ends And so the prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam is saying after you have put forth your best effort After you have sought to produce the most favorable outcome as you see it After you've gone through all of that The prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam said At that point if things overwhelm you, overcome you Despite your best effort So the best effort has to be there Despite your best effort The prophet peace be upon him said Then just at that point say qadr Allah wa ma sha fa'al This is God's decree This is Allah's decree
And he has done and he has not been satisfied with that It's okay And the prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam said And beware of the word If only I would have done this If only this would have happened If only that would have happened And there's so many different ways to benefit from this particular last sentence And insha'Allah ta'ala I pray that it will bring comfort to some people that are stuck in this place right now And help us change our mindset when it comes to this word And when it comes to outcomes There are different ways to understand this Or different benefits to take from it First and foremost the word if here The word law is not the word if as a whole is prohibited or blameworthy It's particularly what the scholars say Tahrim kalimat law linnadami ana ma maada It's particularly the prohibition or the if that is said Because of a person regretting something in the past Thinking that it would have produced a different outcome Particularly the type of if that puts too much Too much currency in the bucket of asbab In the bucket of reasons and means And divorces itself from the overwhelming decree of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala That a person put too much in the asbab Maybe they are dependent on the other And that's something that we have to be careful of which are the means As much as this religion pushes us As much as the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam pushes us to do our best We never become dependent on our best efforts We instead put forth our best effort But we always recognize the limitations of our efforts And recognizing the limitations of our efforts does not diminish them It simply allows us to be at peace with the outcomes Once we have put forth our best effort So there is a really interesting balance here That we always have to grapple with
No matter what we are going through in life How do we come to understand our role versus the decree of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala So one aspect of that, one element of that Is when you are pursuing something And everything about it is good and it's on its way to you And suddenly it's taken away from you And you think to yourself, wait a minute, why? So the narration of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud radiyaAllahu ta'ala anhu Where he mentions, you know, and I'm going to paraphrase it Because I've spoken about it in detail in other places That Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala decrees a good thing to come towards someone And as the good comes to that person Until Allah decrees that that good come that person's way And then as the good is just about to reach that person Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says Asrifu huwa anhu Take it away from that person, do not let it go to that person Because if I give it to that person Then I'll have to punish them because they're going to do things The implied meaning of it is that the ne'mah that comes to them The blessing that comes to them in this form Is going to change their ultimate outcome in the hereafter Something might change about their character, their personality Something might happen to them that is unknown even to the angels That are delivering that goodness Or in the process of delivering that goodness That if I give it to that person Then I'm going to have to punish that person Because they're going to find themselves in a situation Where they're going to go astray as a result of that good They're going to lose themselves, they're going to lose their connection to Allah Something's going to happen to them that's going to produce An unfavorable outcome in the hereafter And Allah in wanting good for that person Removes that goodness in this life So that it does not compromise their goodness in the hereafter And so it's taken away from that person And that person looks up and he says
Sabqani falan, dahani falan This person beat me to it This person got it instead of me That position went to that person That stock went to that person Wama huwa illa fadlullahi alayh And all it was was the bounty of Allah on you On you, so you were seeing it And saying if only I would have done this If only I would have done that It went to this person, it went to that person And this is not being critical of oneself So that you can produce a better outcome next time That's healthy, right? To go back and to re-strategize And say, okay, you know, what can I do better next time? This is a person beating themselves up over what has happened In a way that makes them stop trying, right? And in a way that even worse than that Can lead them to start questioning Allah's decree Okay, so that person says Sabqani falan, dahani falan This person beat me to it, that person got it I should have done this, I would have got it And all it was the entire time Was Allah's blessing on that person Allah blessing you so that your favorable outcome in this life Does not lead to an unfavorable outcome in the hereafter Which is far more important And so that's one element of this And sometimes it's even with the most bitter things That a person will experience in life What could be more bitter than slander, right? Than slander, you know The slander of Aisha radiallahu ta'ala anha And what it did to her What it did to the community What it did to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam The pain that it caused to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam himself And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reveals La tahsabu hu sharru lakum Don't think that it is bad for you Bal huwa khayrun lakum Rather it is good for you Now that doesn't mean that Aisha radiallahu anha Has to like the slander That doesn't mean that This is after the fact obviously The community has learned its lesson You know, it's really helped shape the ethos The community to understand
The importance of the honor of another person All of these things are shaped, right? By this incident that happened with Aisha radiallahu ta'ala anha You know, these verses of surahs They guide us They provide light for us So that we don't fall into the darkness Though unfortunately we still will fall into the darkness sometimes Not because Allah has not given us sufficient guidance But how many people are rescued Because they read the story of Aisha radiallahu anha And they say I'm not going near that This is heinous We don't tarnish the honor of a believer We don't engage in this type of oppression and slander, right? And if it could happen to the mother of the believer It could happen to anybody, right? If it could happen to Aisha radiallahu anha The house of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam It could happen to anybody But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reveals This was not bad for you in the grand scheme of things It's rather good for you Why? Because though every time Aisha radiallahu anha would remember the slander It would cause her pain, right? She would go back to that moment She would remember what it felt like to be abandoned, alone, and slandered And all those types of things The honor of Aisha radiallahu anha in the hereafter Her elevation, her reward as a result of what she bore in this world Is a favorable outcome Allah will not command Aisha radiallahu anha not to be hurt about it anymore But instead of thinking about If this would have happened You know, maybe because if you go back to the story Aisha radiallahu anha could inflict a lot of self-blame You know, she could say If only I didn't fall asleep under that tree If I didn't oversleep under that tree Then none of this would have happened in the first place, right? I wouldn't have ended up in a situation Where Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salul Would sit behind Safwan radiallahu anhu and say
You know, just to throw that, cast that slander And it wasn't even a direct slander And by the way, this is the reality of the world of social media That most slander is not a direct claim But it's casting aspersions until people take it and run with it And then turn it into the direct claim that you're insinuating, right? And this is true for individuals This is true for groups This is true in general, right? It's heinous because someone suggests something And that's all Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salul did Was he suggested something about Aisha radiallahu anha And then the people ran with it without social media And turned it into all sorts of things And it goes back to the filth of Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salul Now Aisha radiallahu anha, she could have beat herself up And said, you know, if I wouldn't have overslept If I would have, you know, then I wouldn't have ended up in this situation But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is telling Aisha radiallahu anha And the community by extension, look The outcome of this, it hurts, but the end of this is good for you It's a lesson for the community And it is elevation of you, O Ummul Mu'mineen It's innovation of Aisha It's the elevation of Aisha radiallahu anha The elevation of her station, right? So the community learns its lessons Aisha radiallahu anha enjoys her rewards Allah declared her innocence from above seven heavens And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grants her a higher ranking in paradise Because of her patience in the midst of all of that devastation So you don't have to like the slander itself But don't beat yourself up so much over the outcome See the positive, see what comes out of this for you in regards to the outcomes And don't go back and say, if I would have done this differently If I would have done that differently No, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala had a plan for you And the end of that plan is good for you So be patient and don't think this is bad for you And this is an important thing to separate between And you know, it's really beautiful to me subhanallah
When I read this even in the words of the prophets themselves Alayhimu sallatu wassalam In the words of the companions themselves, the sahaba You know, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala was giving lessons to the prophets And through the lessons to the prophets are lessons for us Through the lessons to this infallible group of people Are lessons to us And so subhanallah, you know, when you look at the lives of the prophets Very human pain, very real pain But the patience is extraordinary And then the reward is extraordinary And the station is extraordinary And of course the prophets do not commit acts of evil They don't find themselves in those situations Because they're not like us and Allah has protected them They are ma'sumeen, they're infallible Now, Musa alayhis salam has a very interesting narration about him And Musa alayhis salam is of course, you know The most frequently spoken about prophet in the Quran And Musa alayhis salam had a very very tough life If you look through the life of Musa alayhis salam He really went through a lot, right? Now, Musa alayhis salam has two points in particular that we could focus on One of them is the regret over the action that took place When he saw the Egyptian man and the man from Bani Israel Fighting with one another And he made an assumption, he took a side and he did what he did And as a result of that, his pursuit as a result of that Finds himself in a devastating situation And the regret that that could possibly pose to Musa alayhis salam And how he could end up really beating himself up over that So that's one, right? The other one is, you know, the fact that a lot of Musa alayhis salam suffering Especially in the end of his life was not because of his mistakes But it was because of the bad decisions of other people
It was because of the mistakes of other people And sometimes it's even harder to swallow than your own Like why do I have to suffer for these people? Musa alayhis salam could not enter into Jerusalem because of his people, right? Musa alayhis salam suffered, you know, because of the bad decisions that he did not make, right? So those are two very unique ways in which resentment and bitterness can be produced in a person And they could end up doing bad things Now, of course, Musa alayhis salam never disobeyed Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala He produced a favorable effort as a result of both of those outcomes, right? He drew closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala And Musa alayhis salam is who he is, kalimullah The one who Allah spoke to directly And there is absolutely nothing to be taken away from his station The Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam, he tells us that Musa alayhis salam And this is a really interesting debate Musa alayhis salam asked Allah, show us Adam I want to see Adam alayhis salam I want to meet Adam alayhis salam who caused us and himself to be expelled from paradise Show me Adam alayhis salam who caused us and himself to be expelled from Jannah This is a pretty significant request, right? So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala shows him Adam alayhis salam And this is Musa alayhis salam's first time seeing Adam alayhis salam The first Prophet, the first Prophet And Musa alayhis salam, the Prophet most spoken about in the Quran One of ulul azmi minal rusul, one of the greatest messengers of Allah And this is Musa alayhis salam seeing Adam alayhis salam for the first time And he says to him, Anta abuna Adam, are you our father Adam? Adam alayhis salam says yes He says, are you the one whom Allah breathed of his spirit? Into whom Allah breathed of his spirit?
Taught you the names, commanded the angels to prostrate to you Fasajadu lak, and so they prostrated to you And Adam alayhis salam said, yes, that's me Alright, now what's the next question? Musa alayhis salam says, Fama hamalaka ala an akharajtana wa nafsaka minal jannah What then caused you to do what would cause you and us to be expelled from Jannah? Like what all this honor that Allah gave you, what then caused you to do what you did that caused all of us to be in the situation where we were all expelled from Jannah? SubhanAllah, that's a direct claim at Adam alayhis salam Why did you do that and cause all of us to be expelled from Jannah? Now if you go back to Adam alayhis salam, before the answer comes back from Adam alayhis salam Adam alayhis salam owned his sin right away and that's what made his repentance so sincere As soon as Adam alayhis salam was reproached, Adam alayhis salam Fatalqa Adam min rabbihi bikalimat fataba alayhi innahu huwa tawwabur raheem Rabbana zalamna anfusana wa in lam takhfir lana wa tarhamna lanakunana minal khasireen He immediately asked Allah for forgiveness, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala elevated Adam alayhis salam Adam alayhis salam is in a higher ranking as a result of his repentance and coming back to Allah Shaitan on the other hand, the devil on the other hand went further and further away Adam owned up to what he did, he didn't blame anyone else So this is a different question though Because Musa alayhis salam is complaining about the outcome This is where we are because of you So Adam alayhis salam, he responds and he says, and who are you? He said, I'm Musa alayhis salam
Adam alayhis salam says, aren't you the prophet that Allah spoke to directly with no veil and no messenger? Aren't you Kaleemullah, Musa alayhis salam? And Musa alayhis salam said, yes He said, so then why, he said, did you not find that that was decreed in the books and the records of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala before I was even created? He said, yes He said, then why do you blame me about a thing for which divine decree had already passed before me? Why do you blame me for a thing for which divine decree had already passed before me? And Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, so Adam won the argument against Musa alayhis salam Adam was right How do we come to terms with this? Adam alayhis salam already had taken full ownership of the sin He was challenging Musa on the outcome The point was that all of us were decreed for this earth and Allah had a plan for us That does not excuse the sin, but at the same time the outcome of us being on earth and everything that comes with on earth That decree was already there That decree was already there So he was not blaming Allah for the sin because that would have taken away from the sincerity of the repentance of Adam alayhis salam Which we know is sincere Allah testifies to the sincerity of the repentance of a slave Adam alayhis salam when he comes back to him But he is saying the outcome, at least the particular outcome you are complaining about Of us being on earth, that was going to happen regardless That was going to happen regardless So what does that mean for us? Even when we commit sin, we regret the sin but we don't dwell on the outcome in a way that would cause us to be paralyzed We dwell on it to a point that it produces a sincere repentance
And yes, when you think about a sin that you committed in the past that should cause you to repent and say Astaghfirullah, I seek forgiveness from Allah Yes, it should drive you to tears, it should drive you to istighfar But as far as the outcome is concerned, what do I do next? How do I make the most of the situation? How do I rise the way that Adam alayhis salam rose, right? After all of this And so Adam alayhis salam is teaching us a lesson here as our father And we have to learn from that even in a situation where we commit sins And this is where we don't despair the way the shaitan despaired The shaitan despaired of Allah and he made things worse Adam alayhis salam sought forgiveness from Allah and he made things better He then focused on what was beneficial So I'm not going to dwell on the outcome of all of this I'm going to say, okay, I fell, I sinned, I messed up And I seek forgiveness from Allah But I'm in a position to where I can still turn back to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala That's the beauty of redemption in Islam The fact that, you know, the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam did not just say that istighfar wipes That istighfar does away with the effect of sin The prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam says, follow up the sin with a good deed, tamhuha And it will wipe it out So redeem yourself by using that new closeness that you have to Allah to do a good deed in place of the sin So where the sin used to occupy a place on your scroll, replace it with a good deed instead Replace it with a good deed instead Ihris ala ma yanfa'ak Stick to that which is beneficial to you Turn to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Do not sit there and beat yourself up over the past There is so much more to be written in your story You don't even know what chapter of the story you're in right now You don't have the full book You're in a chapter, you don't know if you're on chapter 2 or on chapter 12 You don't know how many chapters there are to your story
But don't beat yourself up over the previous chapters Focus on making sure that the future chapters are good That the one that you're currently in is good That the end of your book is the pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala That you're currently in is paradise Focus on that, turn towards that Don't dwell on the past Instead think about how you can make the most of the present for the future Don't dwell on it That's what the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam is saying Because if you open those doors of shaitan And you say if I would have done this, if this would have been done differently Then what you're gonna end up doing is you're just going to be constantly in a place of doubt and despair And that's where shaitan wants you to be Because you won't be able to move towards Allah And that's his ultimate goal is to keep you separated from him You're not gonna be able to make any movement forward And so that's even with the case of sin You know thinking about everything and inshallah ta'ala I'll use this to just wrap up Tomorrow night biidhnillahi ta'ala we're going to be going over the life of Ibrahim alayhi salam And you can sign up for the webinar inshallah ta'ala And we're going into Dhul Hijjah And we're gonna be putting out a lot of content regarding Dhul Hijjah Some of the previous year's content with some work, you know with some workbooks Some things to make the most of those lessons inshallah ta'ala But it really ties us to Ibrahim alayhi salam Ibrahim alayhi salam had a lot of wild turns in his life Right? And you know at some point the thing is that you're not able to make sense If you're Ibrahim alayhi salam These wild turns are not connecting to the previous wild turns But at the end of the story it all beautifully comes together Right? Why did I go through here? Could I have made a better argument with my people? Why did I end up in Egypt? Ibrahim by the way does not ask any of this I'm saying what he could have asked alayhi salam Right?
But Ibrahim alayhi salam is this higher level of servitude and sidq and truthfulness With Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala That's admirable, sets the standard I'm saying that if one of us maybe was in that situation Why this? Why that? Why this? Why that? Right? Why is Ismail alayhi salam born to me? If I was gonna leave him here Why was he born in the first place? What's the plan for Ismail? Why does this haq come so much later? He doesn't ask any of those questions He could have asked those questions He doesn't ask any of those questions And look how Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala brings the end of his story together so beautifully To a point that his story is still unfolding today Through the Ummah of Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasalam And through the Hajj and all these things It's still unfolding constantly Right? It's so beautiful How Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala brought the whole story together with Ibrahim alayhi salam And that's the point Right? That's the point You do not know what chapter you're in You don't see the end of the story You don't even know what chapter you're currently in So don't focus on if I would have done this Or if this would have turned out differently Focus on making sure that the end of the story is good And that's the beauty of what we have from Ibrahim alayhi salam I do pray this brings some comfort to many people that feel stuck We pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala activates us all towards his forgiveness Towards his pleasure So that we seek repentance So that we glorify him So that we do good So that we make it a point to use the past to propel us forward Not to paralyze us So that even when we look at our sins We learn from our mistakes We don't beat ourselves up over our mistakes We repent from them and we learn from them So that we can have better inshallah ta'ala
Filling up our records and our scrolls when we meet Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala And inshallah ta'ala I look forward to going over the life of Ibrahim alayhi salam with you all And I'll be announcing inshallah ta'ala in tomorrow night's webinar on the life of Ibrahim alayhi salam You know, what our Dhul Hijjah series is going to be inshallah ta'ala So I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make this a benefit to all of us Myself included I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us for our shortcomings That Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us always to be in a state of inaba Of being turned towards him Muneeb like Ibrahim alayhi salam turned towards him In tawbah and in ibadah In worship and in repentance I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us to meet him in the best state of faith I pray that Allah azawajal make the best of our deeds the last of them And that he make the best of our days The day that we meet him subhanahu wa ta'ala May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala accept from us all the deeds that we are capable of doing And the deeds that we intend to do but we are not capable of doing And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us for all of our sins The small ones and the large ones, the private ones and the public ones And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala be with our brothers and sisters all over the world that are suffering May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala aid the oppressed wherever they are May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow us to move forward collectively as an ummah Allahumma ameen Wa sallalahu wa sallam wa baraka al nabiyyina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi atma'een Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
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