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How Can I Be Content With What I Have? | Attaching to Allah - Episode 9

Is contentment possible in this life? Yes, and it’s all a matter of perspective. In the story of the wives of Isma’il (as), we see that two people, in the same exact circumstance, had entirely different experiences. The only difference was in their mindset, and this is true for us as well. Do we choose negativity, or do we practice gratitude and choose to be positive with the circumstances of our lives?

Tune in with Dr. Omar Suleiman, Ustadha Sarah Sultan and guests for episode 9 of Attaching to Allah, Yaqeen Institute's 2022 Dhul Hijjah Series.

Download the full list of du'as from the series.

Transcript

This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.
The small practice of doing du'a throughout the day. That, you know, when something good happens, we say Alhamdulillah. When something bad happens, we say Alhamdulillah too. Just the repetition of Alhamdulillah, SubhanAllah, Bismillah, it does so much for your perspective. Just the repetition and the action of, you know, doing it, you know, it's going to hit you in your heart somewhere. So there's a story that I always tell in hajj that gets me in trouble. It's the hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam that husbands try to use against their wives. Alright, where he mentions Ibrahim A.S. visiting Ismail A.S. And Ismail comes to visit Ismail A.S. after Ismail has grown up. He's married. Ibrahim comes to the house of Ismail. He has permission from Allah to go check on him. So he goes to his home and Ismail is not home. His wife answers. His wife does not know that this is her father-in-law. And her father-in-law does not tell her that he is her father-in-law. But she serves this noble-looking old man.
And Ibrahim A.S. says, how is your situation? You know, tell me about your situation. And all she does is talk about how horrible everything is. You know, it's terrible. Everything, hardship, poverty, you know, nothing good is coming out of this. You know, just complaints. And Ibrahim A.S. says to her that when your husband comes home, give my salam to him and tell him that he should change the door to his gate. So Ismail A.S. comes home. How was your day? And she says, this old man came by and very interesting old man. You know, I served him and he asked me how I was doing and I told him about the difficulties and the hardships we're facing. And Ismail A.S. says, did he say anything to you? Did he relay anything for me? She says, yes. She said when your husband comes home that the old man said that you should change the door on your gate. So he's like, I'm sorry, I can't be with you anymore. So she was the door to the gate, right? And so later on in the hadith, Ibrahim A.S. goes back and he visits and this is Ismail A.S.'s wife again and he, you know, goes in and this is a woman that serves him and says salam. He asks her, how are you? SubhanAllah, same situation. Nothing has changed about the house. Nothing has changed about their circumstances. Nothing has changed about their poverty. And she says, alhamdulillah, we are doing well. You know, everything is great. All she has is good things to say about their situation. And he's pleased and he says to her, you know, when your husband comes home,
give my salam to him and tell him he should keep the door on his gate. So Ismail A.S. comes home and I'm paraphrasing the hadith obviously and, you know, says how was your day? And this noble, beautiful old man came by today and I served him and then he asked about our situation. I told him alhamdulillah how our situation is. And Ismail A.S. says, did he say anything, you know, to relate to me? And she said, yeah, he said when your husband comes home, give him salam and tell him to keep the door on his gate. He says, alhamdulillah, you know, I get to keep my wife. That's really what this boils down to. Now, first of all, as I tell husbands, you are not Ismail A.S. Father-in-law's, you are not Ibrahim A.S. Right? This is a very unique situation to a nabi, to a prophet of Allah S.W.T. A story about gratitude. Ibrahim A.S. is a person who is grateful in all circumstances. Right? And Ismail A.S. is a person who is patient and grateful in all circumstances. And I tell people, especially when you go to hajj, Ibrahim A.S. does not like people who complain. He doesn't like people who whine. Right? You went to hajj with me. You remember this. Right? He doesn't like people who whine. He doesn't like people who complain. That's not the spirit that Ibrahim A.S. left for us to inherit. Right? People who complain and who whine about their situation. Now, the power of this, though, is that both of these women had the exact same situation, but saw life entirely differently. What does that say to you about the power of perspective? It's so powerful. I mean, how you reframe it. You know, it's a part of your leadership and your ability, you know, to see what Allah has blessed you with. I mean, it's the glass half full kind of situation always.
And you can just see so many blessings of what you have over those that don't. When we talked about stability, security, progeny, all these things earlier, where folks in other countries and, you know, kids and stuff, they don't have this. They don't have what we have. And so, I mean, I wake up very grateful to wake up and to have everything, all the comforts. So the Prophet, Salaam Alaikum, said, look at those that have less than you, not those who have more than you. And with your blessings, look at the blessings you have, not the ones that you don't have. And it's all about what you're seeing. Right? You know what's powerful? What's the first word you say when you wake up? Alhamdulillah bi ahya'na ba'da ma'a'atana. All praise be to Allah. Alhamdulillah. Like you open your eyes as a Muslim, you are to say Alhamdulillah. Right when you wake up, that's how you are. That's how you're tuned. All praise be to Allah who woke me up, who granted me life, granted me life after death. And to Him is our return. Like I did not even take for granted that I'm going to open my eyes today. And the fact that I opened my eyes, the very first thing that I say, Alhamdulillah. And so the whole day should be Hamd. The whole day should be Alhamdulillah. Right? And the Prophet, Salaam Alaikum, said, man asbaha, whoever wakes up, al dunya akbar hamu. And the dunya is their greatest concern. The world, the life of this world is their greatest concern. Ja'alallahu fakhrahu bayna a'ina. Allah places poverty between their eyes. They wake up and all they see is poverty for the rest of their days. Because the dunya is their greatest concern. The life of this world is their greatest concern. Perspective is off. Right? So they have poverty between their eyes. It's like if you, you know, something skewing your vision, subhanAllah, if there was something put in front of you, you should get this, you're the eye doctor, right? So, you know, mashAllah, put something in front of your eyes, an object.
And so the object is poverty and it is skewing your vision for the whole day. Right? And the dunya will escape them anyway. So they'll chase after it and it's going to escape them. And whoever wakes up and the akhira, the hereafter is their greatest concern. Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala puts richness, self-sufficiency, wealth. And Allah gathers for them their affairs of this dunya as well. So Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala facilitates for them as well. What else does this story, this concept give you in terms of how you see things versus what you have and what you don't have? I think about the, you know, just the small practice of doing dhikr throughout the day. That, you know, when something good happens, say alhamdulillah. When something bad happens, you say alhamdulillah too. And then, you know, when you leave out, you say bismillah. You know, before you do certain actions, just the repetition of alhamdulillah, subhanallah, bismillah. It does so much for your perspective. Even when you, you know, you want to start that practice and it doesn't really hit you, you know, when you start it. But just the repetition and the action of, you know, doing it, you know, it's going to hit you in your heart somewhere. And, you know, with perspective, it does a lot for your emotional maturity and growth. And it's something that's so little but has huge effect on us. The greatest blessing, that Imam Huzayr says, ar-ridha bil-qaleel. You're so pleased with so little because your little is so much. You know, you're pleased with it, right? Someone is not pleased with a valley of gold. Another is pleased with a sip of water. And shukr, gratitude is what the increase is. Subhanallah, what you mentioned about dhikr here is also very powerful because dhikr is not just an act of the tongue. The Prophet ﷺ mentions it polishes the heart.
And what sees, the heart is what sees and does not see. The heart is what is blind or has vision. And dhikr is what refines the heart. When the lens gets fog, dhikr is what's cleaning the lens so that you can keep on seeing throughout the day. So, dhikr is polishing the heart. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. How can a person who is saying alhamdulillah throughout the day feel anything but gratitude to Allah throughout the day? That's really interesting because like in life coaching, you do, you want to increase in affirmations. And dhikr in and of itself is an affirmation. And it really is supposed to reverse negative perspective. It's supposed to, if you're doing it right, you're doing it in the moment of the trigger. Like in the moment that you feel that negativity. And it starts peeling away at that limiting belief that you're carrying on. And there is a power in the dhikr. I love that you said that because it's something that, when clients come in, that's something that works the best for them. I think gratitude is what drives action. If you're not grateful for what you have, you're not going to keep on elevating to the steps of whatever path you want to try to gain. If you're in a slump, you're just going to get deeper and deeper and deeper into that slump. So, there is a healing agent in it. And it's funny that you say it's in the heart because that's something that we, again, of course, like Islam only compliments life coaching. It's not the other way around. But it's so interesting that we have to work on our clients' hearts first and then their minds. Because it's all in the feelings, Anil. If only Ibrahim and Islam could life coach. You know, we have the example.
I honestly think they would be. They're considered life coaches in my eyes. Absolutely. There you go. They are. Every single du'a, every word, every approach, every perspective. I mean, he was life coaching Ismail and Islam and his spouses here, right? But, you know, the extent to which when Allah mentions the blessings that Ibrahim and Islam is going through, and he's mentioning all these blessings upon him, he says, وَإِذَا مَرِطُوا فَهُوَ يَشْفِينُ When I get sick, he cures me. He didn't attribute the illness to Allah, he attributed only the cure to Allah. So even the careful words that he would use to attribute the blessings to Allah, and to be patient with the hardships. And that's perspective, right? That perspective makes you so conscious that even when you express your gratitude to Allah, some people, you know, it's like you ask them, how are you? And they say, you know, life is terrible for this reason, this reason, this reason, this reason. الحمد لله You gave every reason that you're not saying الحمد لله, but then you added الحمد لله at the end as if it made it somewhat better. You know, but it was like you gave all these reasons why life is not good and complained, and then at the end الحمد لله. Like your الحمد لله was a complaint. You know, in Ibrahim and Islam, you see constant gratitude. SubhanAllah, you know, think about the Prophet ﷺ. Whose words in history have been documented like the Messenger ﷺ? Not a single human being comes close. Can you think of a single hadith that even resembles a complaint? I can't think of one. One hadith that even resembles a complaint with all that he went through, alayhis salatu wassalam. And we have everything from him. They hung on and documented every single word of the thousands and thousands and thousands of narrations.
This man ﷺ who went through all of this, where do you see complaints? All you see is gratitude. Gratitude and humility to Allah ﷻ. And we pray that we are able to be sustained as well with that gratitude as children of Ibrahim and Islam and Ismail and Muhammad ﷺ. That we're able to continue that legacy of gratitude with the next one. So Sister Sara, someone says, Look, I know I have a lot. I know I should be grateful. But I'm still not feeling satisfied. So how do you help me actually become satisfied and content with what I have? Contentment is one of those elusive goals that we all strive for in our lives, subhanAllah. And Ibn Taymiyyah, rahimahullah, described it, I think beautifully, where he described contentment as the greatest door to paradise on this earth and also a door to Jannah. SubhanAllah, and I think that that's such an apt description. Because anybody who's been dissatisfied, who struggles with feelings of dissatisfaction, you know how difficult that can feel, how negative that can feel, and how it almost feels like you're looking at your life through a cloudy lens where you only see the negatives. And so the opposite of being able to experience a life filled with contentment is so incredibly joyful. And so we all strive for that, both for the dunya benefit, the worldly benefit that comes with it psychologically, but then even more the spiritual benefit that comes with it. And Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la tells us that the reward of a person being content with Allah, content with their life, content with the decree of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is Jannah, right? Where we're welcomed into Jannah as al-nafs al-mutma'inna, the satisfied self. And that would not be a reward if it was beyond our control. And so how do we hone this sense of contentment?
The first thing that's so important to realize is, number one, that it is within our control, that actually only 10% of our happiness is based on our life circumstances. But we all tend to attribute our happiness to what's going on in our lives. Once I get that promotion, I'm going to be happy. Once I lose those 10 pounds, once I get married, once I have children, once I, once I, once I. And then once you reach that goal, you feel exactly the same. And you can feel hopeless, like is anything in my life ever going to be enough? And the answer to that is no, unless you make it enough. Because our happiness is not reliant on our circumstances. And we see that in the example of Ismail Alayhi Salam and his two wives and their experience. They experienced the exact same circumstances, but the way they felt in those circumstances were completely different. So acknowledging to ourselves, whether I complain about something or whether I'm happy with something, it doesn't change the circumstances, but it changes how I experience the circumstance. And that's incredibly powerful. And one of the things that I find to be most helpful for me personally is to create a mindset shift where I tell myself I get to do something instead of I have to do something. So I get to drive to work. I get to clean up the mess of my children, because how many people are unemployed who wish they could have a job? How many people don't have children who wish that they could have children? And so when you switch your mindset to I get to versus I have to, then suddenly even the things that are frustrating seem like they're filled with blessings. And so that's one simple thing that I think can help us to really reframe our circumstances and take control of gaining that sense of contentment inshallah.
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