You know, when we got that phone call that, you know, that's it. It's like, what are you supposed to do? You know, how are you supposed to continue? How do you even wake up the next day? You know, getting through that next year was probably one of the hardest years of my life. I think the most painful part of the story of Ibrahim A.S. is the sacrifice of people. Right? He literally has to let go at some point of every single person that he loves. His father. You know, as cruel as his father is to him, look how big his heart is for his father. He still wants to seek forgiveness for him. He still wants to find a way out for him. He still doesn't want to see him thrown into the fire on the Day of Judgment. You know, his mother, his entire social circle growing up, gone. You know, he finally, after all these years, has a son, Hajar Ismail, and you have to go drop them off in a barren desert. Then you have to go sacrifice Ismail. You know, SubhanAllah, after separation, now you have to go sacrifice him. Ishaq doesn't come for another 13 years. You know, SubhanAllah, over and over and over again.
And if Ibrahim A.S. had that heart for his father, imagine the heart that he had for Ismail, right, in Hajar. You know, if his heart was so big that he has all that love for his father, despite everything he's done to him. What then of his wife and his child, right, in Hajar? And Ismail. And this is really, you know, even with the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, right, you go through his life. And the scholars say, SubhanAllah, look, the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, the most relatable human being in human history. You know, there is nothing that you can go up to the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam with, and he can't say, I've been there. Loss of a parent, loss of both parents, dad passes away before he's born, mom when he's six, grandpa when he's nine, uncles dead, aunts dead, spouses, two of them. Khadijah radiAllahu anha and Zainab bin Khuzayma radiAllahu ta'ala anha. So Khadijah radiAllahu anha and Zainab radiAllahu anha. And then children, six of seven, he buries them SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam. Six of seven. I mean, to me, that's unfathomable, right? Like, and not just six of seven, but all at different stages of their lives as well. Like the pain of burying a child that was just born, and the pain of burying a child that you live to accompany and see as an adult. And SubhanAllah, you know, ironically, and in a very powerful way, you know, as we're talking about Ibrahim A'isam, the most painful, the most painful death that you see of a child, because it was witnessed by everyone in that point of the Sirah. Ibrahim, when he finally has a son, Ibrahim, and Ibrahim passes away, and it deeply moves the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam. I think that when you're talking about loss, I mean, personally, my entire life, you know, since the loss of my mother, Allah have mercy on her being defined by that loss.
That is probably the most difficult trial that you face. And it's one of the most relatable when it comes to the prophets. Do any of you have a story of loss to share in this regard, and how you found some comfort in the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, or Ibrahim A'isam, where you had to find a reason to live after losing someone who was such an important part of your life? So there was a, when I was in college, I used to live on my own. And then, you know, my grandparents, you know, they were getting older. And, you know, my mom and everybody else there, you know, they moved to like different countries and whatnot. So my grandparents were all by themselves. My mom asked my grandparents to kind of come, you know, live with me. So I'll be able to take care of them. And, you know, they're getting older. My grandfather had Alzheimer's. So, you know, I would, you know, make sure, you know, he's able to go to the bathroom, even like when he would sit down on his bed, he wouldn't know what to do. So I would have to literally hold him and be like, no, no, you have to lay down now. The only person, for some reason, he would listen to and would recognize was me. Even my, none of my family members can understand how that happened, but I was the only person. So I guess I was the only constant. It was, funnily enough, it was Eid al-Adha, just a week before that. I remember like when I was bringing him in, he stopped by the doorway. He held the door and he just raised his hand and he's like, well, Allah, give this boy everything he wants. And that's it. And after that, you know, he was admitted to the hospital and whatnot. He didn't speak. And, you know, so, and then when he passed away, you know, again, I was a teenager, you know, I was busy with my friends and whatnot. That was my first experience of actually, you know, I used to, you know, give him a shower and whatnot when he was alive. That was the first time I had to do it after he passed away and then luring him into his grave in India.
You know, it's kind of old school. That was my first time I felt the feeling of loss. It was very difficult. And I feel like it was that moment when I felt something change. You know, I felt what loss truly meant. I've never shared this with anybody, but, you know, that moment in my life changed everything. And I do feel like, subhanAllah, one of the reasons why I, alhamdulillah, Allah has blessed me with everything. And one of the reasons is I feel like the dua my grandfather made for me. Even the Prophet ﷺ, anasul biAllahu ta'ala anhu says, the moment we left him in his grave ﷺ, our hearts changed, like we felt it at that moment. I think it's really profound, subhanAllah, when you're talking about this subject that, you know, sometimes you have to find motivation to live when you lose someone that was such a big part of your life. Does anyone else want to share anything in that regard? I'm not going to force it. So for me, it was my grandmother who was, to me, not only like a second mother, but she's really the reason why I'm a Muslim today. She left behind her family to accept Islam. She left behind everything she had. Literally, the only thing she had on her was her clothes. She left everything behind and, you know, in her case, you know, knowing that, you know, her parents were not Muslim and to see her, you know, witness loss, that was one thing. And then for me to, you know, when we got that phone call that, you know, that's it. It's like, what are you supposed to do? You know, how are you supposed to continue? How do you even wake up the next day?
And, you know, getting through that next year was probably one of the hardest years of my life. Just, you know, trying to find purpose and just getting up and going to school every day. And I think for me, what helped me through it was just knowing, for me, there are two things. One thing was to try to live on her legacy because she did this for us and we have to, it's our turn for her. And the other thing was, you know, looking to the example of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and Ibrahim Ali Sallam, both, you know, and seeing the way that he dealt with, especially his son's loss, you know, seeing the words that he said at that time, reading about the way that he, he felt grief, knowing that that's okay, knowing that this is a human moment, it's okay. And just like the way the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam got through it and he got through the loss of many others, you know, we'll find a way through. And so I think that for me, like that was the light and it was like, okay, if there's gotta be a light through this, there's gotta be a way to get out of this. So I think, you know, really reading and trying to find that light and I think, you know, really reading, I spent a lot of time reading at that time, the story of Yaqub al-Islam and Yunus al-Islam, no, not Yunus al-Islam, like, you know, reading these different stories, I think that was really what helped me through navigating my emotions. That's phenomenal. And those stories really, they hit hard in those moments when you're there. I think a lot of people in COVID, obviously, you know, especially with grandparents and elderly people in the family, really experienced that particular type of grief. But it's really interesting you touched on something. Even the Sahaba were stunned by how much the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam grieved.
But that's because the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam loved that much. And it's actually a really interesting point here that as much as the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam loved Allah, as much as he found the coolness of his eyes in his prayer, like would Aisha radiAllahu anha or Anas ibn Malik radiAllahu anhu or Ali radiAllahu anhu say the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam's love was timid. It wasn't intense. It was intense. He really, really loved his family. He really loved his companions, but he loved Allah more. And that's actually what makes this so profound is that the believer does not love Allah in a way that makes them emotionless with their family and the people in their lives. They love their family, even for the sake of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. Some people say, what do you mean? How do you love your family for the sake of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la? You love when they grow towards Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. You would fulfill their rights upon you. You would give to them. You thank Allah for them. You see them as a blessing and you're constantly trying to grow together so that you can be reunited under the shade of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. And so there's this constant sense of loving Allah while loving these people in your life. And at the same time, understanding that you seek a day where you're reunited with them with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la. That's sort of the ultimate prize, right? The ultimate prize is when we all get to come together. I have my family, I have my Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam, I have my Lord. That's really that moment that you seek. And I think in the case of Ibrahim A.S. you know, SubhanAllah, what I think about often with him, you know, in this regard, look, he doesn't get his father. You know, he doesn't get his father. That's something we'll talk about next.
But like, imagine the pride when he sees Rasulullah SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam on the night of As-Salamu Alaikum, right, walking up to him. Like, there's my son. There's Ismail, there's Ishaq. And I'll actually share with you all something that happened that was really interesting. You know, kids ask the hardest Aqidah questions. They ask these questions, like, I don't know how to answer you. So I remember my daughter May asking me, she must've been five, six years old. She goes, Baba, did Ishaq ever meet Ismail? And I was like, I've never thought of that. You know, SubhanAllah, all the tafsir and all that stuff, I never thought, did they ever get to be together? And we don't actually have, you know, iftaatul liqaat, like a moment that they actually met with each other that's established. And you think of it now, Ibrahim Alayhi Salam, with all of his family, all together, you know, in the realm of the believers. And as believers, that's really the prize, right? Seeking that moment. And sometimes you have to remind yourself that they've gone to a destination we hope, that we hope to be in, you know, inshaAllah. And that's where it all really comes back together with the instability of place, with the pursuit of paradise and the pleasure of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala with those people that you love. So Sister Sara, it's probably one of the most difficult things one can face. How do we continue to move forward when we lose someone that means so much to us? Losses are an inherent part of our lives. Obviously, when we think of the word loss, we think of the death of somebody that we care about. But the story of Ibrahim Alayhi Salam is filled with different types of losses. We see the loss of his relationship with his father, which is a tremendous loss,
even if his father was still alive. We see the almost near loss of his son when he was being asked to sacrifice him, Ismail. We see so many losses, and we see that in the lives of all of the prophets, SubhanAllah. And so how do we navigate that grief that comes with the losses that are inherent in all of our lives, whether it's because of the death of somebody that we care about, whether it's because of a divorce, whether it's because of a dream that we picture in our lives that doesn't come to fruition, whether it's a struggle with infertility, as we also see in the story of Ibrahim Alayhi Salam, there are so many losses that we have to cope with. So how do we navigate that? One of the things that's really important, and I think it's actually one of the most important things psychologically, is not to avoid the grief, to give ourselves the time to grieve, to realize that grief is actually a manifestation of something really beautiful. It's the manifestation of the fact that we have love, but we don't have a place to put it, whether that's in the death of somebody or in a relationship you wish you had with somebody that you don't have. And then, so, and using that grief, allowing yourself to feel it. Actually, research has found that one of the most helpful elements in being able to move forward while you're grieving is to actually give yourself times to reminisce about the person that you've lost, assigning yourself time to be able to think about that person to reflect on that person. And so that is incredibly powerful because it allows grief a place to go so that it doesn't become unhealthy or detrimental to you. And it also allows us to realize that we have this opportunity to continue to connect with that person, even if they're no longer physically in our lives, whether because of passing away or whether because of a severed relationship.
And in our Islamic tradition, there is something incredibly beautiful about allowing our actions to continue to allow us to connect with this person. And we allow ourselves to build meaning, which is actually one of the stages of grief, and to build legacies for ourselves, but also for this person that we care deeply about. You know, whether it's through making du'a for this person, whether it's through a sadaqah jariyah, this ongoing charity that we can do for this person, or whether it's something beneficial that this person has shared with us that we can continue to keep alive, even if that person is no longer with us. And allowing for that legacy can help us to stay connected to that person and to process our grief in a way that inshallah will be healthy and beneficial.