How to Have a Bigger Grave | The Other Side: Barzakh and Beyond Ep. 11
What home are you building for your soul? We know that our homes in Jannah is built by our deeds, but do we stop to think that it's the same for our graves?
We spend our lives decorating homes we will leave behind, while neglecting the home we will live in forever. The grave is only the beginning, your first taste of what awaits. For some, it will expand with light and fragrance, a refuge of comfort. For others, it will tighten until it crushes the soul, sealing them in torment.
Your grave is as wide as your deeds and as deep as your devotion. Will it be a garden of peace, or a prison of regret?
NOTE: All depictions of Barzakh are purely conceptual and only vocals were used in the making of the soundtrack.
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References
- Abdullah ibn al-’Ayzar said: “O son of Adam, you have two homes: one on the surface of the earth and one below it. You focus on the home above ground, adorning and beautifying it, making doors to the north and south, and furnishing it to suit both winter and summer. Yet, you neglect and ruin the home beneath the earth. Then someone comes to you and asks, ‘How long will you stay in this house you have perfected?’ You reply, ‘I do not know.’ He then asks, ‘And how long will you stay in the house you have neglected?’ You reply, ‘That is my permanent abode.’ So he says, ‘You admit this, yet you claim to be a man of reason!’” [Ibn Abi ad-Dunya, Kitab al-Quboor]
- Abdullah ibn ‘Amr narrated: A man from Medina, who was born there, passed away. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ performed the funeral prayer for him and then said, “If only he had died somewhere other than his birthplace.” People asked: “Why is that, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “When a person dies in a place other than where he was born, the distance from his birthplace to the place where his journey ends is measured for him in Paradise.” [Sunan an-Nasa’i #1832; Sunan Ibn Majah #1614]
- Prophet Idris died in the heavens. [Ibn Abi Shaybah, al-Musannaf]
Transcript
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.You will only live in a home after death that you spent your whole life building. Will it hold you like a warm embrace, or will it close in on you with an unforgiving grip? Will it expand into vast gardens, or will it tighten until it crushes your soul? Your grave isn't six feet under, it's as wide as your deeds, and as deep as your devotion. Will it be your refuge, or will it be your ruin? Imam Ibn Abi Dunya said that one of the scholars said, لِبْنِ آدَمَ بَيْتَانِ that the son of Adam has two homes, one on the surface of the earth and one in the belly of the earth. He ends up focusing on the one that's on the surface of the earth. He adorns it, he decorates it, he makes doors facing the north, he makes doors facing the south, he prepares it to suit him in his winter and in his summer, and then he ends up neglecting the one that's in the belly of the earth, and he leaves it in ruins. So he says to this man that he sees putting his house together, this house that you've built above the surface, how long do you expect to live in it? He said, I don't know. He said, the one that's under the earth, how long do you expect to live in it? He said, forever. He said, then doesn't it make sense that that's the one you should work on? Have you built your next home yet? How well constructed is it? What furniture have you picked out for it? How big is it? It was narrated on the authority of Abdullah ibn Amr (رضي الله عنهما) that a man was born in Medina and then he died there.
And the Prophet (ﷺ), as he was offering the janazah for him, he said, I wish he would have died somewhere other than his birthplace. So the people said, Ya Rasulullah, why is that? And he said, because if a man dies somewhere other than the place he was born, a space will be measured for him in paradise as great as the distance from the place he was born to the place where he died. And you might wonder, what does that have to do with anything? Why would my grave depend upon how I was here? Well, I want you to think about it in terms of two things, those that voluntarily leave their homes and those that are forced to leave their homes. So first think about it in terms of da'wah. Think about how many companions of the Prophet (ﷺ) left their homes for the sake of Allah. Like how many Meccans actually ended up dying in Medina? And if you think of the sahaba, how many of them died all over the world spreading Islam? Like if you go to Turkey and you see the grave of Abu Ayyub al-Ansari (رضي الله عنه). anhu. What brought Abu Ayyub from the comfort of being right next to the masjid of the Prophet (ﷺ) to all the way in what is today Istanbul? And think about Idrees (عليه السلام) who actually died in the heavens because he was going up to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to ask how much time he had left on earth so that he could plan his da'wah accordingly. That's for people that voluntarily leave their homes for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So it would be fitting that if they died far away from their homes that Allah azza wa jal would reward them accordingly. But then also think about those who were driven from their homes like the refugees of the world who dwell all over but they never feel the warmth of home again. Now they have the space that was taken from them given to them in heavenly real estate. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala compares being driven out of your homes in the Qur'an to
actually being killed. So now you have those Syrian refugees, those Somali refugees, those Iraqi refugees, and those Palestinian refugees that are spread all over that maintain the keys to their homes from when they were driven out and they're now given a space in their new homes of the span of the entire earth that they were forced to travel. So whether what drove you out of your homes was the qadr of Allah and you were patient in that circumstance or what drove you out of your homes was seeking the pleasure of Allah and you were sincere in His cause, Allah does not disappoint in the repayment. On the other hand, Suwayd ibn Ghaflah rahimahullah related that when Allah wants to neglect the people of hellfire, He allocates each one of them a coffin made of fire and then He shuts these coffins with locks made of fire. And every time their nerves feel the pain, it's struck with another metal pin of fire. And each coffin is placed inside another coffin made of fire and then it's shut with locks made of fire and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala kindles fire between all of them. May Allah protect us. Then again, He places it in another coffin and another coffin and another coffin and each one of them makes them feel like they're more trapped and each person believes that no one suffers a worse fate than them. So woe to the oppressors on earth that crush and burn people here from such a punishment in the grave. And what are our graves except for a preview of our eternal homes, either gardens of Jannah or chambers of hell. At the very beginning of the du'a we make as we're burying someone is a du'a for their home to be spacious. Because we see ourselves putting someone in a narrow hole. And 'Awf ibn Malik (رضي الله عنه) narrates that the Prophet (ﷺ) made this du'a for the deceased and it's the one that we now recite regularly.
Oh Allah, forgive him, have mercy upon him, grant him safety and forgiveness, receive him with honor and make his grave spacious and wash him with water, snow and hail and cleanse him from his faults as a white garment is cleaned from its stains and grant him a home better than his home, a family better than his family, and a mate better than his mate, and enter him into paradise and protect him from the torment of the grave and protect him from the torment of the fire. And 'Awf ibn Malik (رضي الله عنه) who narrates this hadith says that when I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) making this du'a for the deceased, I sincerely wished that I were the dead body instead. So how does this process take place? When the one who is being questioned answers the questions right, Munkar and Nakir say, we knew that you would say this, like we knew you were going to pass this test, and then a voice cries out from the heavens, my slave has spoken the truth, supply him with furnishings from Jannah, and clothe him with the clothes of Jannah, and open for him a gate to paradise, so there comes to him some of its fragrant scent, and his grave is expanded for him as far as the eye can see. In one narration it is widened by 70 cubits, now each cubit is 1 foot 6 inches, so think about how big that is, and it is illuminated like the full moon. By the way, this is the minimum of the believer's grave, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala widen all of our graves, contrast that to the disbeliever whose grave crushes him and becomes a pit of the fire of hell. So the Prophet (ﷺ) said that your grave is a section of what you expect after the day of judgment, it's either a garden from the gardens of paradise,
or a chamber from the chambers of hellfire, but you also have a window to the other destination. So if you are from the people of paradise, you have a window, not a gate, but a window to the punishment, to tell you this could have been you, and that would increase you in relief to say Alhamdulillah it's not me. And if you're from the people of the fire, you have a window to the rewards of paradise to tell you this could have been you, and that would of course increase you in regret. So what happens when you get into this home, and you see how big it is, and you see that it's a preview of Jannah, and you see where you're supposed to go, and you see where you could have gone, don't you want other people to celebrate with you? The Prophet (ﷺ) said, when the believer sees, مَا فُسِحَ لَهُ فِي قَبْرِهِ how spacious his grave has become, he will say, دَعُونِي أُبَشِّرُ أَهْلِي let me go back now, and tell my family the good news. You want to invite people to see your new house. But the angel says, Uskun, reside where you are. And then there are a bunch of people in the Barzakh that want to come see you in your new home, so that they can ask about their relatives. So the Prophet (ﷺ) said, they crowd your door. The souls of the believers come to him, and they rejoice more over him than one of you rejoices when his absent loved one comes home. And so they start asking, what happened to so-and-so? What happened to so-and-so? And some of them will say, let him be, فَإِنَّهُ كَانَ فِي غَمِّ الدُّنْيَا look, he just got out of the distress of the world. So the angels say, go to sleep, take a nap, it's been a difficult journey, and you need to rest. So the man says, can I return to my family and inform them? And he says to him, sleep as a newlywed, whom none awakens but the dearest of his family. And Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim narrates a story about two great scholars, Shu'ba Ibn Al-Hajjaj
and Nisaar, and he says that Abu Ahmad Al-Yazidi said, I saw them after they passed away, and they were two notable scholars. So I went to Shu'ba, and I said to him, ما فعل الله بك? What has Allah done with you? So he replied, may Allah help you to memorize what I'm about to say to you. He said, حَبَّانِي إِلَٰهِي فِي الْجِنَانِ بِقُبَّةٍ He said, my Lord has shown His love to me within the gardens of paradise with this huge dome. That dome has a thousand gates made from silver and gems. And then my Lord said to me, O Shu'ba, who has delved deeply into the sciences of Islam, تَمَتَّعْ بِقُرْبِي Enjoy my nearness, for I am certainly pleased with you. And my servant Nisaar, who used to stand during the night and recite, it is a sufficient honor for him that he will visit me where I will reveal my noble face to him. This is how I reward those who are devout and who refuse to accustom themselves to disobeying me. Your home is now as big as it was a priority to you when you were living in this dunya. Think of a person who lives to build or purchase their dream home in dunya. You think about it at work, you visit it with your family throughout construction, you pick out the furniture together, and you long for it. But as Ibn al-Jawzi says, لا دار للمرء بعد الموت يسكنها إلا التي كان قبل الموت يبنيها There is no home to live in after death except the one you were building while you were still alive. So don't find yourself homeless because there is no shelter as an alternative in the barzakh. And that's why Ibn Battar said some of the righteous people used to dig their graves with their own hands to remind themselves of death. This dunya is not as real or as restricting as you might think it is. Of its deception is that you're trapped by it if you can't see anything outside of it.
So it becomes this suffocating box. The soul of the believer on the other hand already feels expanse because it's connected to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and his throne. It's connected to the angels all around. It's connected to the Prophet (ﷺ) through salawat. It's connected to a jannah that has no boundaries. And so the home of the soul being the grave will represent that expanse. Your soul is your escape from the world of misery. And as you've now passed into the barzakh, your soul can now travel to wherever your heart used to be when you were still stuck in this realm.
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