Sincerely, Yours
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Sincerely, Lobna Mulla
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This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Jazakumullah khair for joining us for another episode of Sincerely Yours. This is Ibrahim Hindi with my co-host Sheikh Abdullah Aduru. Sheikh Abdullah, how are you doing? As-salamu alaykum. You kind of froze up there for a minute, but you came back to life. Alhamdulillah. Oh boy. You know, I think like one in every 10 episodes is just like a tech support episode. This one might be that one. I, um... This is first in situation after situation. As always, we're coming to you live from YouTube and Facebook. And we're here live so that you have an opportunity to speak to our guests, to give us your questions. We'll give that to our guests, inshallah, towards the end of the episodes. And you get this opportunity to interact with all of us, alhamdulillah. So like the video, subscribe to our YouTube channel, download the podcast from wherever you get podcasts. This is there as well. And give us your salam. We'd love to give salam to everyone who's following us, everybody who's watching from all around the world. You know, it lets us be connected to you and for you to be connected to us. And that's something that's really important to all of us. So, you know, just like that, we'd love to hear. I see Brother Ali. As-salamu alaykum from Ottawa. I know Brother Ali actually very well. Good to see you. Give us your salam and let us know where you're coming to us from. And we have a great guest today. And I think, inshallah, we'll have a really good conversation as well, inshallah. As-salamu alaykum to Siraj from the Netherlands, masha'Allah. As-salamu alaykum. I don't know the name. We got people, masha'Allah, from all around the world joining in. Okay, so I'll introduce our guest Sheikh for today.
We have Ustada Lubna Mulla, who is a motivational speaker and community educator. She's best known for her optimistic, positive and engaging style with audiences. Ustada Lubna is a member of the board of directors of the Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research. She's kind of our boss. Additionally, she serves as an IOK Muslim chaplain at UCLA. Ustada Lubna is the former national Tarbiyya director of the Muslim American Society, where she's still an active member and is the co-founder of the Muslim Marriage Rejuvenation Retreat. She's a graduate of Chapman University for the master's in fine arts, as well graduated from California State University in business administration with a focus on accounting. She worked as an accountant for 10 years until she began her career as a mother. Ustada Lubna moved to Egypt for three years with her husband Sheikh Suhaib Mulla and their children and studied Arabic, Qur'anic recitation and Islamic sciences under Azhadi scholars. Ustada Lubna currently resides in Los Angeles with her husband and her four children. This is back-to-back weeks with Los Angeles on the show. What can we say? We're just, you know, the best. You know, I think I'm trying to hold on to the summer a little bit longer. So, I'm just bringing on some people from LA. Yes, yes. It goes away. Nice to see you both, Mashallah. Jazakallah khair. How's the family? Alhamdulillah, they're doing well. How's your family doing? Good, good. Alhamdulillah. Just trying to keep them busy. You know, we have teens, so making sure they're productive. Yes, indeed. Yes, it's balanced, subhanAllah. All the different stages of childhood, subhanAllah, and adulthood. Exactly. Mashallah, it's very good. How about you, Sheikh Abu Hayyem? How's your family? Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.
My kids are a bit younger. My eldest is creeping towards the teens, but not quite there. So, I'm trying to keep them busy. I'm trying to keep them busy. I'm trying to keep them busy. I'm trying to keep them busy. I'm trying to keep them busy. Sometimes, it's the teens, but not quite there. So, I'm starting to see, you know, the old adage, you have small children, you've got small problems. The children have big problems. I'm starting to feel it. Look at the grey hair. Look at the grey hair. Look at the grey hair. Yes, right. We call them stripes. Yes. SubhanAllah. My youngest child just surpassed me in height, Mashallah. So, now I'm officially the second shortest in the family. It's crazy. I literally put my arms on him and I looked up I said what happened in the summer? Literally it happened in the summer. I don't even know, mashallah Yep, it's exactly the same story with me Yeah, subhanAllah, mashallah to Allah, they're just growing. Yep. Yep, hamdulillah So I'm thinking, you know, maybe a way for us to start this conversation. I know you went to Egypt and you studied just like your Your bio says but I have a feeling even though we've never met in person that you are someone who's just really engaged in the Muslim community From like the very beginning like this is just something kind of like in your core You know because you just meet people like that and I think you're one of those kinds of people and you know I see that still till today, you know, you're working as a chaplain at UCLA I'm sure you're still involved in lots of youth mentorship and youth programs What are you seeing like? over the years like what do you see as the keys to like that terbiya of kids and like if you were if you were talking Somebody across the world and they're starting, you know dealing with youth and youth mentorship. What's that advice you kind of throw out there? Yes, that's a great question
You know what comes to mind immediately is um put yourself in their shoes and speak from the heart, you know I Feel like I can still connect with those Youth kind of identity issues those youth doubts From my youth. I should say I feel like I I can connect with those feelings and I Maybe that's why I went into screenwriting. I Feel like I see a symptom literally I can see it in my mind Kind of the responses that I got and the responses. I wish I received And and it plays really heavy in my mind and the same thing with parenting, you know, I'm gonna like god bless my parents I'm gonna laugh But you know, definitely there's there's opportunities for revision opportunities for growth So I say anybody who's involved with youth mentorship is put yourself in their shoes Understand their world and then you'll begin to understand You know why they're asking what they're asking what they're going through and That that empathy and that understanding goes a long way. I feel like When they are when they can connect to you because they feel they're understood That is really the opening that's the fact where they will want to begin to take your advice and listen to what you have to say Um, otherwise they don't even want to listen to what you have to say. You're just this boomer and there my I said guys Boomer is the the generation before me. You don't under it doesn't matter. You're still a boomer. So That's just my kids by the way, no, I haven't I want to go to youth camp still they still think I'm young Which is awesome. I'm gonna we're gonna we're gonna ride that wave as long as I can. It's a lot. I'm Shella So sister, how was how was it kind of taking it back? You mentioned it briefly? Your upbringing so where did how did you start? Where were you at? Where were you born raised and you know what inclined you to go into? Dare even dare even say religiosity when you when you reach that point, you know to where you made the choice to
Dare I even say be a Muslim did I even happen? How did that take place? Yeah. Yeah. So panel up. I Grew up in the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles. What's the northern part of Los Angeles? My parents came here and they were like, oh, you're from Los Angeles My parents came here from Egypt in the 70s early 1970 So we grew up Mainly with our Egyptian community not super super tied to the masjid. It's just our reality You know We kind of had a commuter masjid and that's where a lot of there was other You know Egyptian families and so that was my parents connection right new to this country and that whole that whole immigrant story So I really did not get connected to the message until I was 20 Mm-hmm. My husband and I we say we're both like late bloomers. We're definitely late bloomers panel. Ah, um My beginning when I started to go to the masjid Is the first time this is you can that you guys gonna be surprised but this is the first time I had heard That hijab was fun And that was mind-blowing for me. I was mind-blowing because be very honest I thought man, why do people bother themselves with the hijab like that's so much trouble. Why do they put themselves like like That's literally the understanding that I had That was a winner that I would say Was the beginning of my journey? Wow, okay, there's things that the way I understood Islam, you know the way I was taught or received it There's a lot more out there and it's not until I'm gonna learn from the LA A few years later when I met my husband what who had already He had already started on his journey like Islam seriously and when I met him I was the mediocre Muslim
Like with like this innocent bliss because you don't know until you know, so I think God I can still look back and And I don't look at it with this Shame or regret. It's just like that was just my understanding. I was a pretty good Muslim, but not striving to do more I did have a connection with the Quran Going off topic just a side bit I do remember at one point I was getting really into Stephen King, you know reading those books and I remember it was the next book like the book and it is like this thick Right the story the it and I was like, no, no. No, I haven't even finished the Quran How am I gonna go read this book? But that was that was kind of high late late high schools when I at least took that journey more seriously about Reading the Quran all the way through it took time took many years to do that. I just going through the English translation I did not know how to read Arabic And so like I said not till I was actually 20 years old that I got involved in organizing a youth camp and Hearing about hijab. So that's the start of it. So you organize the youth camp? I helped I was just on the board to help organize this youth camp, you know, I as part of the team Okay. Okay. So there was some kind of inclination to be involved within the Muslim community So it was the community around that kind of influenced that Absolutely, I guess, you know just again my parents experience of You know coming here and establishing themselves and having some loose connection But our stronger connection didn't happen until we kind of drove my older brother and I we took our younger siblings and we drove there You know going more part of LA to go experience that so that beginning I was like an eye-opener I mean, I loved it. I loved it. That was that was new that was new for me
That was new for me Mashallah, mashallah That's excellent. That's excellent. So then from there, that's when it all started you found out that far so so Okay, you heard that fard was wajib obligatory that wearing fard was wajib, I'm sorry you heard that the hijab Hijab and wajib kind of go with each other The words kind of go with each other So you heard that hijab was wajib was it like a lecture or When you first heard it was it like oh really I mean like you mentioned before Was what was the initial feeling? Like that you felt And it was cool. It was given by a youth from the youth group and I was sitting in that room I said as an older member of the youth group and I was like, oh really Hmm because all my life is just something good to do Sunnah, you know, I never paid it much mind. So it was it I don't think it was a rejection. I'm just like really Wow and then asking One of the more conservative members. Okay of the uh sheikhs of the of the masjid And asked if it's fard and he told me yes, yes it is Whereas I may have gotten a different answer if I had asked someone else So it's so interesting how that was just you know meant to be for me That was just a later understanding. This this kind of leads to a question. I mean, you know The transition, you know, I have a daughter she's starting to wear it, you know And your mother as well and you know for for you when you heard it was part of was it just like the next day boom And then it was easy Yeah, so so how was that? And then you know it kind of carries over to the first question of the youth and putting yourself in their shoes Particularly for fathers and mothers that have teen daughters. Yes. Yeah Yeah So for my I will give you my story and then I won't go too long inshallah But and then kind of how inshallah I translated that with my own kids. Um, alhamdulillah, um
With my story no that was the seed okay, maybe around 20 that was the seed And then I remember thinking like contact tracing And then I remember thinking like contemplating on I said, okay one day inshallah That was that was what I came with maybe I don't know if it's the end of the lecture But shortly, I remember thinking one day inshallah, and then maybe two years later. I met shiqh. Sohail. He was not shiqh yet And I remember we had some like Conflicting religious discussions like man. This guy's heavy. This guy's a little bit too heavy for me, right? Because he really had that himma and I didn't have it just yet. I didn't have like the uber drive yet Uh before uber was a thing um, so But I remember we had this discussion, uh about hijab, you know after we I think it was already Hala, it's like we got serious and and I think we you know We're gonna get engaged and we had this discussion about hijab and and he's like, you know What do you think about it? And I said, yeah, that's something that I want to do inshallah And he's like cool because you know and both of us we didn't have anyone in our families that was wearing it So he so that was like cool. That's good. And that was it That was it. That was like but when I did bring it up and this is After I got married and I brought it up To my family, uh that I want to wear it. I did get a big pushback huge. I'm already married I'm already working in corporate america And I got it was just this fear and this misunderstanding like why would you do this? This is going to be difficult for your career. You're never going to get another job And it was just a misunderstanding on their part, you know, um Hamdallah god bless them. Uh, it's mainly one person Uh, but that there was a big turnaround and there was a support later, but that's pre okay So so I dropped the subject I dropped it then One year after we got married. Uh, uh, so hell is like let's let's go to the hedge
and that that like jump that kind of um Contradicted another thought that I had in my head that had just for when you get older Uh, so we went for hajj and subhanallah that was an experience, um Uh, that was very experiential you wore it you had to wear it and and it was for three weeks um So that was a big deal, uh in terms of making making a decision to keep it But before that which was which was really really interesting So now there was this really big cognitive dissonance like I want to wear hijab, but i'm getting this pushback I don't even know if I discussed it with so held even because it was with my own family. I was getting the pushback Um, and then I saw a sikh postal worker That was wearing a turban right and he's wearing the postal uniform And I was like wow, he's wearing his thing. He's doing his thing and he's a postal worker I don't know why Then my mentor who later became a very very foundational, uh in my life alhamdulillah my mentor, um sister jill She's god bless her. I love her. I met her and I didn't know her really really well This was I shortly after the post postal worker incident um I was talking to her and she's wearing her hijab her jill bebb and she's like, yeah You know when I go out in the field, uh, she works for the irs at the time I said field. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, you go out in the field and you go looking like that She's like, yeah, what do you mean? I wear this everywhere I go. I go out in the field. I work for the government. Yeah And that was a big huge like okay What am I waiting for now? Like I had already started, you know practicing a little bit going out in the store Nobody gave me looks I saw the postal worker. She sealed the deal for me So then when we decided to go to hajj I was like man, I didn't tell work But I was gonna do this. How am I gonna come back wearing hijab? But after those three weeks, that was it. Like I came back I got I got a question like oh, what's this and I was like, this is downtown la
Massive, you know transamerica life insurance massive, you know, three buildings going through the elevator Nothing like allahu akbar. Allah made it so easy for me Uh, and I just said yeah, this is just part of my religion. I hadn't adopted before now i'm doing it They're like, okay cool. That was it That was it Like the barriers seem really big in our minds and then when we actually do it it's just It's not as big a deal And and it's like don't look for the reactions the reactions, which is one of the Faulty reasonings faulty logic, you know people are going to look at you and that doesn't that? Negate the whole purpose of hijab people shouldn't look at you. There's a difference between people looking at you out of curiosity And people looking at you out of lust. This is just curious like oh, what is that? Oh, she's normal. Okay, whatever That's it and don't look don't read into it. Just leave it Just go do your thing and people see that you're authentic people see you're being yourself Whatever yourself is you don't have to be anything special just because now you have to wear the hijab Because now you have to wear the hijab. You don't have this pressure like i'd be this best perfect most awesomest muslim ever just you know Try we try to you know, live our lives with ihsan Anyway, we try to improve our personality and our characteristics anyway but Don't make that such a burden just be you put it on And and have the conviction of why you're doing it for the sake of allah only And and then you're set allah will open the doors for you inshallah subhanallah So a a friend a mentor jill may allah bless her and then hodge was in transition Yeah, I can imagine it's very euphoric I mean for you probably in hajj and wearing the hijab and then on the on the flight back can imagine like oh man Subhanallah, you're the flight back like just how oh man. That's that's that's yes. That's that's excellent. That's excellent
Allah's uh, very generous. Alhamdulillah. I was uh, I was really nervous about starting work like I didn't send an email What should I do doesn't matter just go and figure it out You know alhamdulillah, that's it Yeah, I like how you said don't read into it because you know dealing with converts a lot, you know And even we call them like, you know, the renewed muslims muslims ever, you know born into a muslim family But they made the conscious decision like you did, you know not reading into it too much because you know, sometimes you know distinguishing there could even be a whisper when whispers from the shaitan like You know, they're all gonna laugh at you or why are you doing this? You try to be self-righteous. Who do you think? Oh, yes. Who do you think you are? Yes. Yes. I Didn't think it but people told me that Sometimes what's what's is from yourself? Sometimes it's other people's, you know Misunderstanding insecurities, whatever they are and you don't need to adopt that just leave all out all the noise The noise coming from shaitan the noise coming from other people. Yeah, who do you think you are? You think you're a shaykh and now all that stuff just leave it and and and that's the true meaning of it Ever loss, you know, you're doing it for the sake of Allah's front Allah I'm not gonna not do something because people are saying stuff and I'm not gonna do something because people are saying to do it I'm gonna do it for the sake of Allah No, that's that's important because you know when you find with people that were born Muslim and then they try to come back to or Start practicing their religion, you know, and you found with converts to Islam. It's kind of the same scenario with family You know family encounters, you know you're like the black sheep of the family because you're trying to do quote unquote the right thing and Yes, it's the same experience, you know, so, you know, I can't imagine either for the reverts. I it's hard That's hard because now you've got a whole family that's trying to grapple with your decision Everybody out there that that is struggling trying to do the right thing and trying to fight the noise, you know
Those challenges can be so difficult just this past Ramadan there was young young Kid came to the masjid. He wanted to talk to me. You know, he told me like accepted Islam He learned about it from someone at school So he's like high school like last year of high school and and then like literally ten minutes before he came for if thought at the message during Ramadan and Like ten minutes before I say he gets up to leave. Oh, where you going? We're gonna play like right now at least And then you don't He's like I can't if my parents find out I come home late. They're gonna ask me where I am They find out I'm here. It'll be in trouble. And so like it's a whole thing for him It's panel loss. So literally leaving the message people are looking at him. They don't know his story leaving ten minutes before the event so It's kind of a lot those are like the real difficulties that sometimes you know parents and His parents just might not really understand what he's doing and what his religions about and they're just worried but you know, it holds them back from doing what's right and and turning towards a loss of her Tata and so yeah, I mean the converts had a lot they have such a more difficult issue with that but You know, we could take inspiration from them when we find those same situations in our lives Yes You mentioned this you mentioned Or was mentioned that you you know motivational speaker and also the marriage retreats Before we get into that. I just want to Kind of because you mentioned how you met your husband mashallah to barakallah It seemed like he was a level of inspiration for you because you said he was kind of a deep brother That's great, you know because I you know, I see that a lot, you know, mashallah You're in your first year of college, you know And then this sister meets his brother and mashallah you know, he's a deep brother This sister meets his brother and mashallah, you know, whether it's an msa or whether it was other than that And then they kind of grow together Yeah, was that a similar situation along with that?
Blessing. Yes. Yes and and finally the way we met. Uh, it was so very extremely traditional and old-fashioned Okay recommendation from my brother and his cousin Uh, we all happen to work at the same company. Uh, and it was like oh you have a sister. I'm a cousin Yeah, we met before you know that kind of a thing but um, but definitely and definitely soheil had take had Had done a a big turnaround in his life Uh before me and I think his was a little bit more of a drastic turnaround. Masha'allah um, and So when I met him that was a little bit of like, oh, oh, okay. Wait I'm, okay with where i'm at like Uh and and like this is funny I mean now like having the the conversation like what do you mean I pray soba like and he's like no It's called fudging like, you know, just those really basic conversations And when is budget and when is soba hocking in so, um, but definitely definitely definitely hamdulillah That's a you know, one of the greatest blessings that We grew together. Uh, I gained inspiration um by his uh drive And and then really at the end of the day, I think it was his big push To go to egypt like we went once okay, cool. Yeah, you know, let's go six weeks Um, but his drive and his thirst was so strong. It's like I maxed out everything over here You know, we'll do that six week thing and then after that I want to go live a year And so trying to make that happen and one year led to three years Um once I got the taste Of like learning in egypt On like independently because that was actually really important. And so how else is that too? You gotta learn Like independently meaning it's hard sometimes for some people it may work To learn from your spouse, you know one way or the other but Him being the catalyst mashallah, you know after last month all his guidance but him being the catalyst of having that drive
Okay, and then once we were in egypt Wow, like allah put me with the best teachers and just living that experience, which is absolutely amazing So I credit him for pushing us to do that And then when we wanted to go back after one year, we both mutually agreed about two years But then at the third one because he had to keep getting an extension, you know as a sabbatical from work He's like love that you're at the cusp man If you just do this one year like for both of us You're just going to be able to read that much better. Come on. Let's do you know So aloha karyani allah bless him for he was a huge push definitely definitely Yeah, that's excellent. That's excellent. Mashallah And I we had the two little kids at the time not all four of them the two little ones so Parenting in another foreign country, even though I had family extended family there And then trying to study and run a household while supporting a scholar a soon-to-be scholar It was very challenging But it was really blessed blessed time with amazing people that you know I'll happen to be there at the same time to all these other scholars that are currently You know, I can start naming all the people is a really blessed time. Mashallah Mashallah, mashallah. So so so when you came back from egypt, did you get it back involved? Is that when you got involved with mass or what? Before we before we left and I remember sister jill, you know, she was leading our halal Cause and she's like look when you come back you're gonna take over. I was like, no, what are you talking about? You're gonna go to the halal when you come back and so that was kind of the start of you know Just kind of being a little bit more a little bit more in a teaching role Informally and then teaching tajweed And then um just kind of slowly slowly, you know from there getting uh more and more involved in Um getting lectures and what have you but always still staying on the ground with grassroots Which I think was always refreshing and it was really important with mass that that was it keeps it keeps you real It keeps you humble you having those mentors is so important being part of a system
I think that was that was very foundational for me. So hamdulillah Let me just take a step back like you said one of the first things that kind of grabbed you was Uh, you know hearing that hijab is is an obligation Subhanallah sometimes it's hard to get a job Um, and I think it's a good question. I think it's a good question. Um, Subhanallah, sometimes people when you tell them something whatever it might be as faruq pushes them away Yes, and other people brings them in um So i'm wondering like why why that's the case or if you have any insight and why it brought you in That's a really good question I think well allah, um, who know, uh, you know god knows best, but I think It was open even though I didn't know it was open Allah is the one that guides and you hear something and you're like, oh it challenged my status quo I I didn't think that it was far then remember for me to actualize it. It took another four years after that but You know Being able to hear things in a non-confrontational matter. This is what it is. I could have walked out of there saying, you know I don't know. I don't agree with it or what what have you but it wasn't but it was not in any way a um Number one it was given by a woman a young lady And when she said it was very I just felt very down to earth and it was not super preachy She's like this is why it's far. This is what it is It was matter of fact, it was factual and you know presenting the information as opposed to Istaghfirullah every single moment that you're that you're exposed you're sinning and you're leading, you know, it was not like that So, okay i'm listening to him like oh, I didn't know that So it would there was it did not make me feel like i'm a horrible person It was just information and and you could take it or leave it Subhanallah And and you know what? I think what's really important, you know Translating that and trying to encourage my daughters to wear hijab and hum de la hum de la Allah
Allah bless them and protect them that they wear it Um But I you know, I talked to that they came to a lot of lectures of mine like girl school muslim girl scouts Uh just different lectures a college day or whatever it was And they had always asked me to talk about hijab. And so they saw my presentation like What was cool what I thought was cool, I don't want to my own horn, but I just thought you know again, it's allah's guidance But I talked about hijab very just kind of matter of fact, what was the culture what was the understanding what was the injunction? How do we understand the injunction? How do we understand it in light of the quran? Maybe that's like 15 minutes But then the rest was talking about the intense pressure by the beauty industry in the west and beauty standards and the 50 billion dollar, you know beauty industry and selling products and And how much pressure that adds for women all over the world and in particular? Oh like an additional source of pressure for muslim women. How are you now going to cover up? When all of society is saying You know show your beauty And literally allah is saying cover your beauty So so I think You know being able to take my experience But then and then being able to explain it holistically within the realm of islam and saying, you know, everything that allah uh, uh, you know Commands us to do is something that's good for us He knows that he's our creator and everything that he prohibits for us. It's good for us and so, you know saying those things and then you know putting in light of the pressures of the world and And even tying in like some some studies, uh that are done, you know by non-muslim organizations on how the you know the sexualization of women and girls affects You know women's cognitive skills. They're emotional. Um, you know how they feel about themselves emotionally and psychologically It's impactful I think you know, so Not just hey, you're bad go get on explain
Hijab and any other thing in islam salah or anything else in a holistic fashion like putting in context So, I mean from that subhanallah It kind of it's a segue to you know motivational speaking what got you into that to be intentional with it um And what are you currently doing now with that motivational speaking? Like why did you see that that is important because in the beginning you mentioned um a certain methodology when approaching the youth right not just being preaching with them and So where do you find this in this motivational speaking? What is what motivated you to get into motivational speaking? And how are you finding it and if you could tie that in with the youth as well? Yeah, um so I'll be honest that my husband is the one that because you know It's terrible to write your own bio and my husband's like no no, no, you know, you should you know This is like, you know, this is your style and martial arts. So, you know, I get a little bit embarrassed uh by seeing motivational, but I I I think again it speaks for my personal style like I am an optimistic person. I like and not like i'm not like i'm trying to sugarcoat anything about islam at all it's not like i'm purposely trying to only say positive things or you know, but I feel me personally Uh, by the way, the first time I ever heard me go on the flip side super quick the first time I ever heard The severity of like punishment and day of judgment. It was actually in egypt. I was like, wow, why didn't we learn this more? Growing up so allah made me hear things at the right time but Focusing on allah's mercy his rahmah the you know, just miracles and in light of knowing all of the The um, you know the day of judgment and punishment and there's a reality right? That's fine but I I again spoke my truth that this is
I you know when I hear something and I feel motivated I wanted to pass that on and I feel motivated By learning about allah in his totality, right? Not just quote unquote positive things or inspiring things but in his totality. Um and You and and again just kind of connecting, you know Trying to connect with the youth trying to connect with audiences trying to connect with people um, I get energized by being around people and so You know you get these aha moments i'm sure you you you guys both do when you're driving or you're in the shower and you're like Oh my god this aya or like you just got like this metaphor in your mind of you know How this thing compares to you know something else? Uh some islamic concept and how you can better explain it And so that's very motivating to me to see people That it connects for them and they can understand better and they feel better about their deen They feel better about the relationship with allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So I think that's kind of how it started, you know, um uh being you know expressing myself in the way that Is is natural to me and then getting positive feedback and people saying that this really helps Me to understand things to feel better about my relationship with allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and kind of going from there um, mashallah mashallah is very cool as that sets Yeah, you subhanallah you realize that people Got you No, um, i'm just gonna add to that. Um When you look at the tafsir of surah ta'aha, um ma anzalna alayka al quran al tashqa We didn't send the quran to make you sad to make things difficult for you uh Anzalna alayka al quran al tashqa And then the next verses it's only a remembrance to those who fear the next verses are all the attributes of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala his beautiful names Right, um, so the scholars look at that and they say subhanallah When someone orders you to do something commands you to do something tells you this is wajib. This is fard
Wajib is fard, uh, and then it can feel difficult, right? So how does allah respond to that? He tells you his attributes And it's because when you know allah Then his commandments become easier If you know the one commanding the commandments become easier subhanallah, it's just exactly like you said subhanallah perfectly You know allah, you know his mercy, you know his bounty, you know his blessings, you know, you know his nature Then whatever he tells you to do becomes easy like whether he tells you to do this or that You know, you know him subhanahu wa ta'ala, right? But when you don't know him, then everything is difficult, right? Why do I have to do that? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to it could be the smallest order in the world Right and you still are going to resist it because you don't understand Who it is that's telling you to do it? So I thought you put it beautifully and I just always remember these series of verses Um whenever that topic comes up, so I just wanted to put that in there Just like wajib That's beautiful. Sorry, I don't know why I cut you off on that No, no, no. No, that's a beautiful beautiful beautiful insight mashallah to barakallah. Um you know just having the opportunity to to to motivate and to to you know let people See the the glass half full rather than half empty You know, that's that's kind of huge, you know, subhanallah. It's very great It's a huge huge opportunity and just being the person that people look at i'm almost sure people come to you for advice because they see you as a catalyst to kind of Kickstart or get them back on to where they wish they could be and or want to be or aspire to be So what have you what have you you talked about it earlier with the youth as well? What certain advice you give to the muslim women out there that are involved with? um, whether in islamic schools Or islamic organizations or someone thinking to get involved like the msa student that wants to get involved with the nearest islamic school What advice would you give them in regards to? Okay, these girls that are 13 14 15
You know, what is a way that we can set an example to encourage them to be chasing with some women? Um I think it goes back, you know anytime you can build a connection Yeah, uh, you know and and again you mentioned a lot of different um situations but msas for example um invite a sister to come You know, you you see her in the library and somehow, you know Maybe you couldn't tell that a brother or a sister and this is advice for everybody You know that you find out somebody's muslim you find them in your class. Uh Invite them to the msa, you know welcome people Believe me there are people It's not just being part of an organization, but Especially college and you know also middle school and high school. They're formative people School in high school their formative years in terms of uh, dean and getting closer to allah subhanahu wa ta'ala The the more you make connections with people And then they see wow, there's this beautiful representation of islam. I see people You know engaging with one each other in a nice way in a respectful manner and wow We're gonna get up and pray now in the you know in the middle of the meeting or what have you? um when they see a good character And they see uh, um that you're genuine about you're wanting to connect or welcome them to something it really opens up people's hearts And then you know the messages the the messaging I should say the environment It opens up their hearts to more things like oh, wow This is cool. And and and and we see it time and time again So be welcoming try to connect with people You know, if you're if you're a teacher at an islamic school give compliments Oh, I like your backpack or what does this mean? You know be curious um I I really feel that Personal connections and personal relationships is what? um What makes understanding islam more palatable through you if you're going to be a catalyst and in particular
Mashallah, yeah personal connections personal relationships And kind of breaking down the barriers, you know, I forgot which which shaykh said this to them He said he said brother mothers fathers you don't understand when kids see this they run He said they run the opposite direction they see this they're gone like oh man, yeah, yes Yes It's important because I remember when one gentleman male I bless him He was like no the youth was supposed to come to us That's the shit. It doesn't work like that doesn't Work like that doesn't See what they're interested in make a joke make a little social reference, you know can be tricky sometimes but it goes a long way Man, they connect with you real quick You know try to understand the you know, the context That they're in and try to understand, you know, um, humdillah, so may Allah facilitate that and that goes with our children as well Um as you see as your kids are getting older, there's you know Yeah, so panel can go on and on. Yeah, but but but making the connection is key is key is key But that with our relationship especially as our as our kids get older and you know trying to guide and connect at the same times Makes it I was at a event at a masjid in windsor. So shout out to windsor Um, and I gave a talk and then we had just like a q a and there's a lot of youth there So just answering questions And this elderly uncle at the very end. He's like I have a question, but it's really a comment So he's I have a question but I will answer it I think is what he says He goes the question is what is the second most important thing after worshiping allah he's like it's being good to the parents So then he goes to the kids. He's like, please tell these kids they don't listen to their parents. Oh, wow um so My response to him was basically what you were both saying right now
If we want our kids to listen to them, we have to listen to them first Right. They don't listen to us because we don't hear them And just like you said that connection subhanallah Um, it's so important and I think like we're too focused top down right? Like the youth should come to us. They should listen to us, but we got to take this step first because otherwise They just don't care Yeah, absolutely That should that should be a a shameless plug for you he has a parenthood series Mashallah All right, so, uh, we have a few questions to answer before that we'd like to do rapid fire questions if you're up for it Sure, sure Okay, so just off the top of your head, you know, no right no wrong answers um All right, so spring or fall. What do you prefer? Okay, uh chocolate or vanilla chocolate Shea or coffee coffee Uh mountains or oceans mountains Is that because you're by the ocean in la so take it for granted Ocean is second best mashallah, but but I mean there's something very special about ocean, but mountain is much a lot of other colors So let's go Oh buy them Uh, where am I? Okay Do you like your steak? Well done or rare? If you have to choose between the two, ah, man rare nice um Your favorite city, but you can't choose mecca medina or al-quds Oh, wow favorite city Hmm That's a tough one I'm gonna say
I don't know if this is I'm gonna say yosemite yosemite is is uh, it's a national park, but you can say it's a city I'll take it. Yeah If you if you ever want to get connected to a los montana man, just put yourself in those Mountain with like a high mountain range and just it's unbelievable like you forget everything there's no wi-fi Forget about it Forgive me for my geography where exactly is yosemite? Yeah, that's in uh It's in california, I would say more towards northern california kind of in the heart of it's got granite mountains It's just iconic. Mashallah. Beautiful. Absolutely. Beautiful What language do you wish you knew What language do you wish you knew oh, well i'm an arturo fan and all those other turkish series so turkish That's a good one What's the most interesting thing you've ever tasted or eaten oh Wow, that's the most interesting thing I love food. So what's what's the most interesting of all the foods I've had? Um Oh man, I know you won't believe this one. I don't even know this existed Smoked fermented are you ready for this horse milk? I have never heard of it Wow Yes Yes, allahu akbar our friends in kazakhstan. We visited them. We got to visit them after 15 years after meeting in egypt we got to visit them and they're like we have a special treat for you and We're like, okay and they described what it was and mean so help drink drink it and wow. We what an experience
Was it good It was extremely unique Extremely unique Tangy, uh tart smoky Was very interesting, but we finished the whole cup because we had to we we had That's awesome I love that. I I keep asking this question. I never really get any good answers out of it This is the first time i've had like a really good answer out of that question Is like the most interesting content Taste is so interesting too because it's like the things that we gotten used to Over time where like from a different part of the world you get used to different taste profiles like that tastes amazing to them and for you you're like, what is this but so It's very interesting. Yeah, yes it is indeed. Have a bit of luck. Anyways, I find interest in these things Uh, are you the kind of person that sleeps on the airplane? Sleeps on the airplane. Yeah. Oh, yes. I sleep anywhere. Yes. Anytime there's motion cards. You're so hell nuts. He's like, oh my god That's a blessing, um Okay, what superpower do you wish you had? I wish I could fly That's a good one. Yeah. Okay. Last question. If you had to be an animal, which one would you choose? It'd be a bird so that I could fly Let's look at one together All right, let's get to a couple of questions here Uh here what this one says my my fiance doesn't pray at times. I don't know how to make him start praying on time and invest in the spam to learn more So, how would you give advice to the sister? That's a really good question. Um
A couple things I think leading by example is really important, you know, um It's very interesting in a relationship Whether it's parent child or husband wife and right and either way whether the wife is trying to to lead the husband in terms of encouraging uh Spirituality or the husband trying to lead the wife but any of those relationships it can get a little bit tricky, right? Because now in a way My relationship with god is now being somewhat tied to some other human being and getting mixed up in this other relationship So I feel like it's it's waters that you want to tread lightly Um, you know keep them with sallah in the in the you know, keep the prayer rug in the in the in the room um You know invite same thing with kids, you know, and i'm not comparing at all like, you know husband and wife Oh, oh, they don't live together fiance, you know when you're talking to each other, you know, i'm gonna go pray now Why don't we both why don't we both why don't we end the call? Let's pray and we'll come back You know or or if you're together, um You know again just kind of scheduling things around the house Um, I I think that's really important if you push too hard and you keep sending every single salah Did you pray did you pray did you pray? You know, you can push somebody away like that. Um, there's a really like there's a nice um habit tracking app Uh called habit share, you know, maybe there's something That you guys can agree on that you can share and it kind of reminds each other Oh, you know you read from the bible and you know, you're not going to be able to read from the bible It kind of reminds each other. Oh, you know, you read five minutes of quran today or you you made the cut or something? That maybe is palatable that they can kind of get on with like, okay, I can get with this I can I can I can start with this. I think that's helpful Um, so leading by example encouraging kind of inviting. Um At some point having an honest conversation About you, you know, where do you what do you see as your trajectory for spirituality?
You know, my spirituality is really important. And of course, I would love to see us Growing together in that so that we're on the same page with our kids so I think without being pushy, but being honest about how you feel not Yeah, being honest about how you feel and and what and and and get elicit an honest conversation from them Where do they see themselves and how do they see themselves growing? And you know if there's an indication that they're interested, but it's going to take them time. That's a good sign That's a good sign and just kind of uh Some healthy nudging I think is is better than than forceful pushing I mean And I like that having the conversation because You know, there's a difference between somebody who doesn't have interest in praying versus somebody who wants to pray but is struggling to get there Right. So Yeah, that's that's beautiful point Okay, here's a similar a little bit different question. How do you keep practicing when you're wanting to do? So is also challenged with a family environment that aren't really practicing So I guess the first one's more about husband and wife and this is maybe more about Your family in general and I kind of we kind of touched upon that earlier in the conversation. So Uh, how would you give advice to sister Amira? Yeah, sister Amira. I really connect with what you're saying. So panel because You know, I was there. Um, and sometimes your actions are pretty strong. So sometimes the environment is not conducive Um, but I say, you know, um You know just reminding your why why do you want to to? uh, keep practicing and and reminding yourself. This is for the sake of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and You know when you find yourself in tricky situations Like maybe you're getting made fun of or maybe you're even getting prohibited like oh, don't worry about prayer now Come on, we're eating we're at a restaurant. Why are you getting up now? Like that's weird, you know, or whatever it is um be gentle And just say this is something that makes me feel comfortable
You know put it on me just like a dietary choice or exercise or whatever else that we would say in society Sometimes people again when it's less preaching it's more about you like this is something that makes me feel comfortable This is something that makes me happy I think that's very helpful be patient with your family members Remember everybody's at a different point in their understanding In islam and where they are in terms of you know, their spirituality, uh and make dua for them Make dua for them make dua for them for them to you know to to Again to get the guidance from allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and make dua for them as opposed to getting angry and bitter which can happen Um, especially when when frictions run high and things get tense Um, but I in inshallah with um, just kind of keeping true to yourself reminding yourself while you're doing this and being gentle with your family As you still stay true to your principles inshallah allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will facilitate that for you We've heard a lot of positive stories of people who just kind of continue on that road and the parent the family Eventually whether they're revert a convert or or um, a born muslim that's starting to try to start practicing They usually come around even after some pretty extreme reactions. So may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala facilitate that for you and make it easy Okay, this question says so then hijab relates to modesty in the meeting of meaning of modesty differs for different people Uh, what is considered as modest when it comes to hijab? This is a tough question, but it's actually a fantastic question Uh, dear does it remind me? I hope I pronounced that correctly. Um Um, I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing it right. Um, but Uh, dear does it remind me? I hope I pronounced that correctly. Um The word modesty is actually what has confused a lot of people Uh, I will go to the first uh translation that I read from uh, Dr. Yusuf Ali the that original old translation of the of the english translation. I should say of the quran
And subhanallah the word modesty is used in that ayah of hijab and that's very confusing because yeah, what do you mean? Modesty is very relative what I think is modest. No, but allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Subhanallah in that description of the ayah it is uh, and and take take your hijab Take take the khimar that women were already wearing right and khimar Is a piece of cloth that starts at the top of the head. They were already wearing the khimar So allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is instructing them in very clear language not using shaar hair not using uh, the word hijab Right using the word khimar take what you have and strike it over The opening of your thoab that way nothing else is showing right that just your face is showing um, and subhanallah the translation that I originally read was Um so that you can be uh, let me remember uh in that Oh Oh subhanallah Is it the lower your gaze? Yes, it was lower your gaze. Um so that you can protect your modesty That's what it was before the ayah. Yes. Yes. Yes. I got it. Okay the ayah The lower your gaze comes to the brothers first. I think it's ayah 30 if i'm not mistaken. So ignore uh lower your gaze uh and uh and And in the translation that I read protect your modesty, okay, and then the next ayah, uh 31 lower your gaze for women Uh, protect your modesty. That was the translation and then the whole injunction right then take your khimar strike it over Babe, and and and not expose anything except for what must appear thereof. But subhanallah allah subhanahu wa ta'ala uses very clear language here Uh and protect your private parts Or or you know For the male and for the female so it's not even modesty. It's protect your chastity. You see how a translation that's very loose
Oh lower your gaze be modest. Okay, then again be modest for women. That was an injunction for women, too um That's very confusing but the injunction here Was first lower your gaze so that you can protect your chastity So that you can protect your private parts from illicit sexual intercourse Then the injunction now take your khimar and cover this and this is for the women of all time Not for oh family of the prophet not for the people of arabia for for women of all time to do this. So, um Uh, alhamdulillah when you when you take those readings, it's very clear that we're not talking about something that's relative allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Is so generous and merciful that he directed us in a way so that we could be clear about our religion and not be confused So may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for you and and hope that you can look at our resources on yakin institute That it goes a lot more into depth so that you can see You know all of the logic and the sources and the the arguments for it inshallah I think like one point we could add there is you know subhanallah you need it's true modesty People can define it differently and that's why we need something objective and that's why allah subhanahu wa ta'ala sent us something objective and Modest yesterday is not modest Was modest yesterday's whatever it's all over the place to be honest with you Their conceptions of modesty are constantly shifting. Yeah. Yeah That's the mercy of allah that we're not going to leave it up to our own individual whims Yeah For joining us for this episode And i apologize for all the technical issues that happened at the start We made it To the end for all those who are listening, uh, you know, there is a link in the in the description of this video Where you can provide us feedback?
Uh things you'd like us to add to the show Um, you guess you'd like us to have one in the future, you know Feel free inshallah to give us your feedback. Bismillah. I also like this video Um download the podcast from wherever you get podcasts inshallah We love to be connected to you and to hear more from you and for you to be connected To our guests alhamdulillah. Uh, so jazakallah for all of your time Thank you so much. Allah bless you both for all of the work that you do bless your family
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