Name: Why Does Allah Hate Me So Much? | Trauma Ep. 5
Uploaded: 2019-09-03T16:26:17.000Z
Channel: Najwa Awad
Description: In episode 5 of Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You, Najwa Awad, LSCW-C discusses the trauma associated with rejection and highlights a practical activity we can use to understand and dismantle our emotional reasoning. Read the full publication here.

<a href="https://yaqeeninstitute.org/series/trauma/#.XXFHCZNKhhE">Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You</a><a href="https://yaqeeninstitute.org/najwa-awad/why-does-allah-hate-me-rescripting-negative-thought/#.XXFFXZNKhhE">here</a>

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Trauma

Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You | Trauma Series Introduction

Why Do Bad Things Only Happen To Me? | Trauma Ep. 1

How to Cope with the New Zealand Mosque Shooting Tragedy | Trauma Special

I Should've Gotten Over It by Now | Trauma Ep. 2

Why Bother Living if the Future is Filled with Pain? | Trauma Ep. 3

How Can I Ever Trust Again? | Trauma Ep. 4

Why Does Allah Hate Me So Much? | Trauma Ep. 5

Addressing the Topic of Trauma and Faith - Sh. Omar Suleiman | ISNACON 2019

The Impact of Trauma on Faith - Sarah Sultan | ISNACON 2019

The Duha Approach: A New Model to Treat Trauma - Najwa Awad | ISNACON 2019

How Islam Addresses Grief - Dr. Altaf Husain | ISNACON 2019

Everything is Falling Apart | Trauma Ep. 6

The Impact of Grief on Faith - Sarah Sultan | ISNACON 2019

Understanding Traumatic Grief - Najwa Awad | ISNACON 2019

I Must Have Done Something Wrong - Is It My Fault? | Trauma Ep. 7

How Can I Ever Get Past This? | Trauma Ep. 8

Why is Everyone's Life Better than Mine? | Trauma Ep. 9

3 Reasons Why You Think the World Is Against You

Healing the Community | MASCON 2019

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Najwa Awad

Written by licensed therapists Najwa Awad, LSCW-C and Sarah Sultan, LPC, LMHC, this series of articles and videos seeks to address trauma through The Duha Approach, a comprehensive and Islamically sound approach to treating trauma from a spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical perspective. Each article and video in the series will address one of the ten most common types of cognitive distortions, or unhealthy ways of thinking, linked to common faith-based questions that may arise after having experienced adversity. The primary purpose of this series is to provide a refuge and healing for those who have silently endured trauma, perhaps not fully understanding what is happening to them and not knowing how or where to get help. The articles will work through depressive feelings, worries, and doubts that may impact faith while helping promote growth and healing.

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Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You

 As-salamu alaikum, Najwa Wad here from Yaqeen Institute.  Today we are going to be talking about the very difficult thought and question of why  does Allah hate me so much? Feeling rejected is one of the most difficult feelings humans  experience. Studies show that the feeling of rejection feels the same as physical pain.  And so if you feel like you're really hurting from rejection, that's because you are.  When you feel like you're repeatedly hurt by someone, you might start to ask yourself,  what's wrong with me? Why is it that I'm so unlovable? Or why is it that people can't  see me for the person that I am?  The same kinds of feelings that we have about people can also spill into spirituality as  well. So just the way that you might feel rejected by people, sometimes you might also  feel like you might be being rejected by Allah. You might start to wonder and ask yourself,  why is my du'a not being answered? Or why am I getting one trial after another? Have  I done something so bad that Allah is rejecting me?  When we start to think and make decisions based off of emotions instead of logic, we're  engaging in a cognitive distortion or unhealthy way of thinking called emotional reasoning.  This is when we start to look at the world and make decisions based off our emotions  instead of fact. So for example, I feel ugly, so I must be. People don't like me, so I must  be unworthy of people's affection.  The same kind of unhealthy logic can also happen in our relationship with Allah. One  way to gain awareness into emotional reasoning is to know that your feelings are not fact.  There is a spectrum of how people look at feelings. You have the people who are very  cerebral and think, feelings are not important at all. I just need to do what I need to do,  and I need to ignore them. And then you have the opposite crowd. They say, follow your  heart no matter what. Feeling is fact. If you feel it, it must be true.  And the truth is that it's really the truth is in the middle. Our feelings are not fact,  but our feelings are also very important. Our feelings tell us important things about  our body. They tell us when something might be uncomfortable or when something is not  right. But at the same time, just because you have a feeling doesn't mean that it's  true.  One of the most famous American psychiatrists and contributors to cognitive behavioral therapy  was Aaron Beck. And he said that when our reasoning is bogged down by emotions and by  illogical reasoning, we become almost like we're blind. So when you're thinking, or when  you're feeling rather, that Allah hates you, you kind of have to go and look within yourself  to see where this is coming from. Because Allah does not hate you. There's nothing written  that says that he hates you. So this must be coming from within yourself.  A lot of people's views about Allah can stem from their views about parenting and attachment.  So for example, if you had a very unforgiving or a very mean parent, not on purpose, but  you might be taking some of those feelings and applying them to Allah as well without  even knowing it. Thoughts don't happen completely spontaneously. Or they can, but what happens  is like a seed is planted and they grow over time. So when you begin to really feel and  internalize that Allah hates you, then looking within yourself to see where that comes from  is very important. So it could be the whole parent thing that I talked about, or it could  be somewhere within your development, whether it's in childhood or adulthood, that you started  to go down this path.  One very useful technique, it's a free association technique in looking at and exploring why  you feel that Allah might hate you. You can take a piece of paper and fold it down the  middle and on the one side you can write why you feel that Allah hates you. You can maybe  on the top you can write, I feel that Allah hates me because. And really take the time  to sit by yourself and reflect on what are these reasons. Is it because you feel like  your dad is not being answered? Do you feel like you're just having one misfortune after  another? Once you've identified some of those negative thoughts, on the opposite side of  the piece of paper, for each thought, write the opposite. Go and reflect and think about  a healthy way of looking at the same question. So for example, you might say, I feel that  Allah does not love me or has rejected me because I keep getting one bad trial after  another. On the other side you can write, the prophets were tested with enormous difficulties  and they endured so much but we know that Allah loved them. So I cannot assume that  just because I have these hardships that Allah has rejected me. To take things even further,  you can write down some of Allah's positive attributes to really enforce some of those  positive connections that you might be lacking and not connecting with him on. And lastly  if you feel stuck, go to the Quran and reflect on the a…

Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You

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