For more on this topic, see Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You
Why does betrayal hurt so much?
Why does experiencing betrayal impact my ability to trust Allah?
Transforming your overgeneralizations
- He will hasten fulfillment of his supplication
- He will store it for him in the Hereafter
- He will divert an evil from him similar to it.”
Getting to know Allah as a means of regaining trust
And he raised his parents upon the throne, and they bowed to him in prostration. And he said, “O my father, this is the explanation of my vision of before. My Lord has made it reality. And He was certainly good to me when He took me out of prison and brought you [here] from bedouin life after Satan had induced [estrangement] between me and my brothers. Indeed, my Lord is Subtle in what He wills (al-Lateef). Indeed, it is He who is the Knowing, the Wise.
My Lord, You have given me [something] of sovereignty and taught me of the interpretation of dreams. Creator of the heavens and earth, You are my protector (Wali) in this world and in the Hereafter. Cause me to die a Muslim and join me with the righteous.”
A. Mindfulness exercise for inspiring trust
Close your eyes. Take a deep, encompassing breath and allow it to flow out of your mouth slowly. Allow yourself to switch from the usual mode of doing to a mode of non-doing. Of simply being. As you allow your body to become still, bring your attention to the fact that you are breathing. And become aware of the movement of your breath as it comes into your body and as it leaves your body. Not manipulating the breath in any way or trying to change it. Simply being aware of it and of the feelings associated with breathing. Observe the breath deep down in your belly. Feeling the abdomen as it expands gently on the inbreath, and as it falls back towards your spine on the outbreath.
Imagine each breath filling your lungs with the air that it needs. Allow yourself to experience the feeling of knowing that Allah is ensuring that each breath reaches your lungs. Allow yourself to trust that each breath will be allowed in and each breath will be allowed out. Remind yourself that every breath is an exercise in trusting Allah to take care of you and your body.
As you feel your limbs relax, tell yourself, “Right at this moment, I am safe. Others might disappoint me; I might even disappointment myself—but Allah will always be there for me.” Remind yourself of the verse in Surah al-Baqarah where Allah (swt) says, “So whoever… believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing.”
Slowly open your eyes and take note of how you feel physically and emotionally.
B. Transforming your overgeneralizations
C. False refuges
D. Getting to know Allah as a means of regaining trust
 Brown, C. B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. New York, NY: Gotham.
 Sahih al-Bukhari 5269.
 Bowlby J. (1969). Attachment. Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Loss. New York: Basic Books.
 Qur’an 49:13.
 Otsuka, Y. (2014) Face recognition in infants: A review of behavioral and near-infrared spectroscopic studies. Japanese Psychological Research, 56(1), 76–90.
 John-Steiner, V., Panofsky, C., & Smith, L. (Eds.). (1994). Sociocultural approaches to language and literacy: An interactionist perspective. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. doi:10.1017/CBO9780511897047
 Avants, B. B., Hackman, D. A., Betancourt, L. M., Lawson, G. M., Hurt, H., & Farah, M. J. (2015). Relation of childhood home environment to cortical thickness in late adolescence: Specificity of experience and timing. PLoS ONE, 10(10): e0138217. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0138217
 Koscik, T. R., & Tranel, D. (2011). The human amygdala is necessary for developing and expressing normal interpersonal trust. Neuropsychologia, 49(4), 602-611. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuropsychologia.2010.09.023.
 Holahan, C. J., Moos, R. H., Holahan, C. K., Brennan, P. L., & Schutte, K. K. (2005). Stress generation, avoidance coping, and depressive symptoms: A 10-year model. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73(4), 658-66.
 Brach, T. (2013). True refuge: Finding peace and freedom in your own awakened heart. New York: Bantam Books, p. 7.
 Qur’an 30:6.
 Qur’an 2:216.
 Musnad Ahmad 10749 (Graded Sahih by al-Albani).
 Sahih al-Bukhari 3382.
 Qur’an 50:16.
 Qur’an 12:100-101.
 Shelquist, R. (N.D.) The Beautiful Names of Allah: Al-Latif. Retrieved from: https://wahiduddin.net/words/99_pages/latif_30.htm
 Shelquist, R. (N.D.) The Beautiful Names of Allah: Al-Wali. Retrieved from: https://wahiduddin.net/words/99_pages/walee_55.htm
 Sunan Ibn Majah 3870.
 Qur’an 2:256.
Brach, T. (2013). True refuge: Finding peace and freedom in your own awakened heart. New York: Bantam Books.