For more on this topic, see Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.[1]
-Brene Brown

Case study

Kathleen had never loved anyone the way she loved Mustafa. They met when they were in college and quickly realized there was something worth pursuing. They dated for a while and soon started to get into serious relationship territory. When they started to discuss marriage, Mustafa told Kathleen he wanted the future mother of his children to be a Muslim.
Kathleen began to study Islam and found that a lot of the tenets and values resonated with her. She never would have explored the religion if she hadn’t met Mustafa but she felt comfortable converting. They had a small marriage ceremony in a local masjid and were happily married for 10 years. During these 10 years, they had 3 children and both gradually learned more about Islam.
Mustafa started to become more involved in the community, particularly through teaching classes. His schedule started to get busier and Kathleen found herself spending more time alone with the children. When she broached this subject one day, Mustafa reluctantly admitted that he had been having an affair for some time but didn’t tell her due to fears of upsetting her.
Kathleen was stunned. It never crossed her mind that infidelity was a possibility, especially from someone who portrayed himself as a spiritual and practicing person. Suddenly, she was plagued with doubts, including unsettling questions surrounding her faith in her religion. Mustafa was the one who had introduced her to Islam all those years ago yet he had betrayed her. If this was what Islam was about, she didn’t want to have anything to do with it! She found herself thinking, “If someone I loved, looked up to, and invested so much time in could betray me, how can I ever trust again?”

What is happening to me?

Understanding your thoughts and emotions

Changing your thoughts

The cost of avoiding pain

How to experience safety and security through Allah

Inspirational hadith for reflection

Practical exercises

Case revisited

Notes