Ep. 12: Condolences (the 'azza) | For Those Left Behind
How do you give condolences in Islam? What are the best words to say when giving Islamic condolences? And what practices and gatherings are acceptable in receiving condolences?
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
00:40 What to say when offering condolences
When offering condolences, the Prophet ﷺ taught us to say, "To Allah belongs that which He has taken and that which He has given. And everything is with Allah in accordance with its prescribed time. So be patient and seek the reward of Allah."
The Prophet ﷺ also used to say, "May Allah magnify your reward, perfect your grieving, and forgive your dead."
03:20 Cultural practices vs Sunnah of the 'azza
Formal and large gatherings in the home of the grieving family which requires them to host visitors and serve them elaborate food is a cultural practice. This is not from the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.
The sunnah of the 'azza (giving condolences) is to:
1. Give the grieving family space
2. Relieve them of their responsibility so that they can grieve
3. Make food for them
4. Offer condolences in ways that do not infringe upon the space of the family
For the grieving family, it is ok to set boundaries and let others know if they need space. They have the choice to say who they'd like to be around them while they're grieving without being burdened by any extra expectations.