# Why Make Istikhara? | Why Me?

**Author:** Dr. Omar Suleiman
**Series:** Why Me
**Published:** 2024-03-21
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/1E76SyachR4
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-make-istikhara-why-me
**Topics:** Afterlife, Faith

## Description
Allah answers every prayer according to His time and plan and gives the best results for it. So when you ask for good, and something bad happens, know that it was His Wisdom that deemed what you thought was bad to be better for you. And when you finally decide to let go of the outcome you so...

## Transcript
**[0:00]** You asked and you asked, and now your asking has become regular. You've learned to talk to Allah throughout the day and throughout the night.

**[0:21]** But while you're enjoying your new closeness with Allah, you're still wondering how the answer to your prayers is going to unfold. You have crucial decisions ahead. Career decisions, family decisions, life decisions, and you and everyone you love is praying for you to get it right.

**[0:43]** Imam al-Nawawi said no person ever regrets istishara which is to seek consultation from righteous people and istikhara which is a prayer for guidance from your generous Lord. And with big moments ahead and your du'as for the means to all fall into place,

**[1:00]** you now await the results of your prayer.

**[1:25]** The Prophet (ﷺ) made du'a for 13 years as he and his followers were persecuted for their Islam.

**[1:40]** But he never gave up on du'a and continued even after witnessing his companions being tortured, his loved ones being boycotted, and no one on this earth seemingly willing to take him in. Now think of the Prophet (ﷺ) making the equivalent of the du'a of istikhara in Mecca,

**[1:56]** then ending up in Ta'if, then going back to make du'a again while he was still covered in his blood after being rejected in Ta'if. Medina was always the intention but Ta'if was an essential part of his journey. And sometimes the interim part of your du'a is as essential as the final landing point.

**[2:15]** I made istikhara and I took a job or I got into a relationship that ended up being bad for me. No, it was a springboard to something else. Zakariya (عليه السلام) made du'a for a child for decades and decades without a baby being born. But how much was birthed for him and his wife in Jannah for every single time they made those

**[2:33]** sincere du'as? While perhaps Allah opened up other opportunities for them that wouldn't have been possible if they had children. Would Zakariya have paid as close attention to Maryam, the greatest woman of all time and taken care of her and provided for her if he had children of his own?

**[2:50]** Ibrahim and Sarah made du'a for children for decades before they arrived. Would Hajar and Isma'il have even come into the picture if Ishaq was born 13 years earlier instead of his brother Isma'il? Allah answered all of their du'as according to His time

**[3:06]** and His plan and brought out the best in every one of those circumstances. The Prophet (ﷺ) wanted his home in Mecca to embrace him right away. But he was gifted with Medina, an entire city of his own. The du'a of istikhara is asking Allah to place you where it's best for your dunya and akhira

**[3:26]** at that particular juncture. The problem is when we get stuck in the middle of the istikhara and not the place that Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) intends us to eventually arrive. And at that point we can get irritated. So when someone says, I made the du'a of istikhara and then I married this person who turned out to be terrible

**[3:44]** or I got this job that turned out to be miserable. So where was the good in all of that? Well in your istikhara you're asking Allah for what's good in the akhira and the dunya. And sometimes those things are going to be in conflict at the particular time that you're asking.

**[4:00]** And sometimes the same istikhara is going to give you different results based upon where you're at in your journey. Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) maybe wanted you to grow in your character and raise your rank the first time that you made the istikhara. How? By depriving you of what you were asking for in this life.

**[4:18]** But giving you something better in the hereafter. But then the second time comes around and you make the same istikhara and after your character and rank got to where it was best for you, Allah answered you with what you wanted in this life. Think of this incident. The Prophet (ﷺ) initially marries Zayd to Zaynab and their marriage did not

**[4:38]** work out at all. But then Zaynab got to marry the Prophet (ﷺ) instead. And Zayd had his name revealed in the Qur'an that we still recite today. So look where they ended up. And I think they both say that the end result was totally worth the experience. If you could see the wisdom of

**[4:55]** the process before the final product, you'd not only be more understanding but also more grateful. As Ibn al-Qayyim says, if the veils were lifted and you could see behind the scenes what Allah does out of kindness for you, your heart would melt out of love for Him. But too many of us

**[5:14]** have what he calls deformed tawakkul, where you demand not only the ending that you want but also the means that you want to get there. Instead, pay closer attention. How many times have you walked past a version of fate that you didn't know you could have lived?

**[5:34]** How many examples has Allah put in your life of people that seem identical to you but are placed upon divergent paths? That could have been you. And had it been you, it would have been better for you. Because whatever state leads your heart back to Allah is the best one for you at any given time.

**[6:04]** And so when it feels like you're facing rejection after rejection, but that's what keeps pushing you back to Allah over and over again, then maybe that was the whole point of the rejection in the first place.

**[6:24]** As Sufyan ibn 'Uyaynah said, what the servant hates is better for him than what he loves, because what he hates will cause him to increase in his du'a. And what he loves will distract him from du'a.

**[6:45]** And as the time passes and the need becomes more urgent, your prayers become more urgent as well. The more those tears start to flow from your eyes, you start to call out to Allah by names you didn't even know before.

**[7:03]** And you connect with Allah on a higher level than ever. Then you realize that the delay along the way was actually the greatest gift.

**[7:32]** If in spite of intense supplication, there's a delay in the timing of the gift, let that not be the cause for your despair. For He has guaranteed you a response in what

**[7:50]** He chooses for you, not in what you choose for yourself. And at the time He wills, not the time you desire. And the tranquility that comes when a person finally decides to let go of the outcome they so desperately want is a feeling beyond words,

**[8:10]** a humble submission to Allah. And it may even be that Allah will not give you what you think you need until you merely want it. Sometimes He breaks your dependence on it, then He gives it to you. Sometimes He breaks your dependence on it, then He gives it to you.

**[8:27]** And sometimes in forms and from places you would have never imagined. Whoever has taqwa of Allah, He makes a way out for him and provides him from places he would

**[8:46]** have never expected. So when your next test comes along, you'll have more spiritual and mental strength to face it than you would have ever had before.

## Other Episodes in "Why Me"
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- [When Life Comes Full Circle | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/when-life-comes-full-circle-why-me.md)
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- [How Can I Accept That I'm Dying? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/how-can-i-accept-that-im-dying-why-me.md)
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- [Trailer: Why Me? | A Ramadan Series on Understanding Qadar](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/trailer-why-me-a-ramadan-series-on-understanding-qadar.md)