# Why Do They Get the Life I Want? | Why Me?

**Author:** Dr. Omar Suleiman
**Series:** Why Me
**Published:** 2024-03-25
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/v2JXsUpaKuw
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-do-they-get-the-life-i-want-why-me
**Topics:** Afterlife, Faith

## Description
Sometimes, what you see as someone else being unfairly favored might actually be qadar at work in your favor. So beware of envy and defeat overtaking you, and make an effort to recognize the wisdoms in your life. Because when it comes to Allah's decree, it's not the most materially blessed or...

## Transcript
**[0:00]** How did you get here? And how did they get there? How do you resolve a problem when you feel too exhausted to even confront it?

**[0:17]** How is it that others seem to have the blessings you pursued in all the right ways, whereas you have all these problems that they promised would go away with prayer?

**[0:35]** Why does someone else get to have the life you wanted? Why do you always seem to get the shorter end of the stick?

**[0:53]** Why do you always seem to get the shorter end of the stick?

**[1:12]** Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (رضي الله عنه) narrates, Inna al-'abda la yahummu bil-amri mina at-tijarah wa al-imarah hatta yuyassara lahu That a servant of Allah will want something of this world, of wealth or status, until it has been facilitated for them. Then as it's on its way to them,

**[1:28]** Yanzuru Allahu ilayhi fayaqulu lilmala'ikah asrifuhu 'anhu Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala looks at him and says to the angels, Take it away from him. Fa in yassartuhu lahu adkhaltuhu al-naar Because if I give him this blessing, then I'll have to put him in hellfire.

**[1:45]** This blessing is going to cause him the heedlessness that's going to end up taking him to hell. Fayasrifuhu 'anhu So He takes it away from him. Now what happens to the person? Yadhalu yatatayyaru yaqul Sabaqani fulan Dahani fulan

**[2:01]** Wama huwa illa fadlullahi 'azza wa jalla 'alayhi So he keeps on saying, so and so beat me to it. This person got the position or the possessions that I thought I was going to get. And the whole time it was nothing but Allah's blessing upon him.

**[2:16]** The part of the narration that I want you to pay attention to here is not the part of Allah withholding something from that person for his own good. It's Allah actually giving it to someone else and you being able to see it on someone else. And you might start wondering if someone interfered with your qadr and got what was

**[2:34]** otherwise yours. And that especially becomes painful if the other person is someone who hurt you before. Someone else seems to be living your life or someone else seems to be enjoying what you earned.

**[2:56]** In every generation of people, there were those who seemed to be so deserving of an easier life, but had to put in the hard labor to make history. Whereas others had the fruits of that labor handed to them and lived comfortably despite

**[3:15]** their awful characters. You give and you give and you give. And you make sure not to offend anyone. And you try your best to help everyone. But it seems like no one is affording you that same courtesy.

**[3:30]** The Prophet (ﷺ) said, Iyyakum wal hasad fa inna al hasada ya'kulu al hasanati kama ta'kulu al-naru al-hatab Beware of envy for verily it burns your good deeds the way that fire burns through wood. But before you let envy burn you emotionally as well,

**[3:48]** first understand that we tend to see other people's blessings, but our own hardships. But just like there is blessing in our hardships, sometimes there is hardship in their blessings. For those that are evil, Allah says, fala tu'jibka amwaluhum wala awladuhum innama yureedullahu liyu'adhdhibahum biha

**[4:09]** So let not their wealth or their children impress you. Because Allah only intends to punish them with those things. They're being punished with what Allah gave them because they have no barakah, no blessing in those things. And so they feel empty.

**[4:24]** And not only that, their money ends up becoming their greatest source of worry and leads to all sorts of betrayal. Their kids who they didn't even try to raise with righteousness turn on them with that same wickedness and cause them all sorts of pain. But we don't see all of that.

**[4:40]** We just see the outside. And this is especially true in the case of oppressors. It can be really hard to watch someone so evil strut around seemingly without any consequences. Imagine 'Ammar ibn Yasir (رضي الله عنه) watching Abu Jahl strut around Mecca for

**[4:56]** six years after he murdered his parents in front of his own two eyes. But Allah says, The end victory is for the believers. And for those that aren't necessarily evil, but just don't seem to be as deserving as you,

**[5:12]** it might be that Allah is giving them a little more of this world because their hearts are weaker than yours. And that's the prescription they need for the moment that they are at right now. That doesn't mean it isn't annoying when you're in a position where you've done the most.

**[5:30]** But the person who seemingly did nothing at all is getting all of the worldly reward and recognition. I want you to imagine how the Ansar who took the Prophet (ﷺ) in during his lowest moments felt after Allah gave the Prophet (ﷺ)

**[5:46]** his highest victory in Mecca. These people sacrificed everything for Islam and Allah praised them exactly for that. They always preferred others to themselves. And then here you are after all the struggle,

**[6:03]** witnessing the conquest of Mecca, which was a victory from Allah and largely through your efforts. And now you're expecting that you're going to be recognized. Then imagine seeing the Prophet (ﷺ) turn around and give the spoils of Hunayn to the same people that tried to kill him,

**[6:20]** the same people that tortured the Muslims for two decades, the same people that you defended the Muslims from. And most of them just became Muslim after the conquest, and now they're getting the spoils of all of your efforts. So yes, the Ansar were hurt and they thought maybe the Prophet (ﷺ)

**[6:39]** is going to move back to Mecca and forget about us now. But then the Prophet (ﷺ) calls them and he says, aren't you pleased, O Ansar, that these people go home with their money and their camels, but you get to go back to Medina and you have Rasulullah (ﷺ) with you.

**[6:56]** And that was far more precious to them than anything, because they had a certain afterlife in mind that was far more important than any type of life that anyone would want to live here. And so they were at peace missing out on the spoils because they knew that their Prophet (ﷺ) was still with them and that Jannah was still ahead.

**[7:15]** 'Ubadah ibn al-Samit (رضي الله عنه) said to his son, O my son, you will never truly taste the sweetness of faith. Until you know that what has come to you was never meant to miss you.

**[7:34]** And that which has missed you was never meant to come to you. So as Ibn al-Qayyim said, Destiny is bound to happen. So make peace with it. We don't realize all the ways that qadr is working out in our favor,

**[7:52]** even though we think it seems to be for someone else. We get tied up with the means, the people, the worldly causes to what we want. And we forget what we actually really wanted in the first place. You didn't really want that specific person. You wanted love and companionship, and you thought it would be found with that person.

**[8:12]** So ask Allah for what you really want, but open yourself up to new possibilities and trust in Allah's plan. And sometimes He will place blessings on your path from places that you least expect it.

**[8:29]** wa yarzuqhu min haythu la yahtasib He provides for you from places that you least expect. innama ja'alaha mahalan lil-aghyari wa ma'dinan liwujudil-akdar tazhaddan laka fiha He has only made the world a place of others and a mine for troubles so that you would not love it.

**[8:47]** And you know what's beyond the rizq that awaits you? wa man yatawakkal 'ala Allah fa huwa hasbuhu

**[9:07]** Whoever is mindful of Allah, then Allah is enough for him. And as Imam al-Ghazali says about the verse, alaysa Allahu bikafin 'abdahu Isn't Allah enough for His servant? That the one who has Allah will feel like he has everything.

**[9:27]** And the one who doesn't have Allah will feel like he has nothing. The life that you have in that masjid now, in your reading and reciting, in your praying and listening, is one that someone on the outside still trying to find the true source of happiness would love to have.

**[9:51]** But as you're reflecting deeper now over your own deeds as you're making peace with Allah's decree, you may start recalling some of your past sins again that you were previously distracted from. Especially the ones you committed against other people.

**[10:35]** Al-Fatihah.

## Other Episodes in "Why Me"
- [Did My Life Really Matter? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/did-my-life-really-matter-why-me.md)
- [When Life Comes Full Circle | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/when-life-comes-full-circle-why-me.md)
- [What Will The Day of My Death Be Like? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/what-do-i-feel-when-im-dying-why-me.md)
- [Will Allah Still Forgive Me? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/will-allah-still-forgive-me-why-me.md)
- [How Can I Accept That I'm Dying? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/how-can-i-accept-that-im-dying-why-me.md)
- [What If It's Too Late? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/what-if-its-too-late-why-me.md)
- [Do Good Deeds Extend My Life? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/do-good-deeds-extend-my-life-why-me.md)
- [Why Is There So Much Suffering in The World? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-is-there-so-much-suffering-in-the-world-why-me.md)
- [Can I Escape The Outcome of My Sins? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/can-i-escape-the-outcome-of-my-sins-why-me.md)
- [Is Allah Testing or Punishing Me? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/is-allah-testing-or-punishing-me-why-me.md)
- [Why Is Everything Falling Apart? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-is-everything-falling-apart-why-me.md)
- [Why Did They Have to Die? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-did-they-have-to-die-why-me.md)
- [How Do I Find Love in Loneliness?  | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/how-do-i-find-love-in-loneliness-why-me.md)
- [I Didn't Mean to Hurt You | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/i-didnt-mean-to-hurt-you-why-me.md)
- [What If I Could’ve Changed Things? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/what-if-i-couldve-changed-things-why-me.md)
- [Why Were Hurtful People Put in My Life? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-were-hurtful-people-put-in-my-life-why-me.md)
- [Will I Ever Find True Love? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/will-i-ever-find-true-love-why-me.md)
- [Why Make Istikhara? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-make-istikhara-why-me.md)
- [Why Won't Allah Answer Me? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-wont-god-help-me-why-me.md)
- [Did I Choose To Be Muslim? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/did-i-choose-to-be-muslim-why-me.md)
- [Why Do I Have to Carry Their Burden? |  Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-do-i-have-to-carry-their-burden-why-me.md)
- [Why Am I Rich or Poor? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-am-i-rich-or-poor-why-me.md)
- [Why Do I Look Like This? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-do-i-look-like-this-why-me.md)
- [Why Do I Have These (Dis)Abilities? |  Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-do-i-have-these-disabilities-why-me.md)
- [What Shaped My Personality? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/what-shaped-my-personality-why-me.md)
- [Why Is This My Family? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-is-this-my-family-why-me.md)
- [What Happened On My Birth Day? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/what-happened-on-my-birth-day-why-me.md)
- [Why Did Allah Choose This Time for Me? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-did-allah-choose-this-time-for-me-why-me.md)
- [Where Was I Before I Was Born? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/where-was-i-before-i-was-born-why-me.md)
- [Trailer: Why Me? | A Ramadan Series on Understanding Qadar](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/trailer-why-me-a-ramadan-series-on-understanding-qadar.md)