# Why Do I Look Like This? | Why Me?

**Author:** Dr. Omar Suleiman
**Series:** Why Me
**Published:** 2024-03-16
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/N9larZxwXcc
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-do-i-look-like-this-why-me
**Topics:** Afterlife, Faith

## Description
Have you ever felt like you hate the body that you're in, or that you wish you were more beautiful? Beauty is more often a test than a blessing, and true beauty lies in what is beneath the surface. Allah has fashioned you to be uniquely you, and that includes your form, but He doesn't look at your...

## Transcript
**[0:00]** We've all been in this kind of gathering. You notice people's features, their charisma, their expressions. When you look around, how do you feel?

**[0:18]** Comparing ourselves to others can make us feel like we don't measure up. Like maybe we aren't good-looking enough, or confident enough, or dressed expensively enough. But have you ever thought about how beauty can be its own curse?

**[0:38]** But what about the blessing and sense of peace that comes with letting go of the standards that the world demands of you?

**[0:58]** Sometimes we need someone to tell us our self-worth. There was a young companion who was a Bedouin named Zahir (رضي الله عنه). He was known to have a low self-esteem.

**[1:14]** And when he used to visit Medina, he would go to the Prophet (ﷺ) and give him a small gift, just hoping to be noticed. And he was specifically described as being not very good-looking. But the Prophet (ﷺ) would always find a way to show him that he was paying attention to him.

**[1:30]** And he'd go that extra mile to make him feel valued. And so on one occasion, the Prophet (ﷺ) grabs him from behind in the marketplace, and he jokingly starts to wrestle with him. And he says, who's going to buy this one from me? Who's going to buy this one from me? And Zahir (رضي الله عنه), even in the midst of that joke, he says,

**[1:48]** Ya Rasulullah, who would want to buy me anyway? Now the Prophet (ﷺ) could have laughed it off. But he knew that Zahir felt inadequate partly because of his appearance. So the Prophet (ﷺ) turns him around and he looks him in the eye. And he says, walakinnaka 'inda Allahi ghalin

**[2:05]** You are priceless in the sight of Allah. Why? Because true beauty is the beauty of character. And how the Creator sees you is how you should see yourself. As for your appearance, then you are as your Lord intended you to be. Allathee khalaqaka fasawwaka fa'adalak fee ayyi sooratin maa shaa arakkabak

**[2:26]** The One who created you, fashioned you, and proportioned you in whatever form He wished to put you together. Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) is Al-Musawwir, the Bestower of Forms. And He gave you a unique surah, a unique form.

**[2:41]** But look at the irony. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, inna Allaha la yanzuru ila suwarikum Allah does not look at your forms, nor does He look at your bodies. walakin yanzuru ila qulubikum He looks at your hearts. That's what counts in the long run.

**[2:57]** But here, just know that your appearance has been given to you with a certain proportion of beauty and every shape and mark is for a purpose.

**[3:17]** Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) tells us, don't be deluded by superficial beauty. wa itha ra'aytahum tu'jibuka ajsamuhum wa in yaqoolu tasma' liqawlihim And when you see them, their forms please you.

**[3:34]** And if they speak, you listen to their speech. Then Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) describes the reality beneath the surface. ka'annahum khushubun musannada They're like pieces of wood propped up. And Imam At-Tabari says there's no goodness inside of them. No knowledge.

**[3:50]** innahum suwar bila ahlam They're just like empty forms without purpose. Basically what he's saying is there are too many people that are all form and no substance. And people who lack substance tend to seek satisfaction by others praising their form.

**[4:06]** And hence the obsession for likes on a social media app or seeking validation through selfies or filtered images. The believer doesn't get lost in the form. And they know that in every birthmark, every supposed odd shape, in our height, in our body type, whatever it is, there's a purpose.

**[4:28]** And subhanAllah, the Prophet (ﷺ) mentioned that Uwais al-Qarni (رضي الله عنه) who asked Allah to cure him from leprosy said, but O Allah leave the size of a coin. Why? So that he could look at it and he could stay humble.

**[4:44]** Some people are actually cursed by their outward beauty and that they get distracted by their appearance even from Allah (سبحانه وتعالى). Or they don't cultivate other abilities that they have because they just rely on their looks to get ahead. Or they attract shallowness and shallow people.

**[4:59]** And the list goes on and on. But for any one of us, no matter how much of it you think you have, focusing on upward comparisons in looks is a recipe for low self-esteem and could end up being ingratitude to Allah (سبحانه وتعالى). So what did Al-Musawwir give you?

**[5:17]** A person can be beautiful on the outside, but ugly on the inside like Qarun. Or a person can be unattractive to others on the outside, but beautiful on the inside like Zahir (رضي الله عنه). Then there are those who are beautiful on the outside and beautiful on the inside

**[5:33]** like the Prophet (ﷺ), whose beauty was described like the shining moon. Or Yusuf (عليه السلام), who was given half of beauty. But neither the Prophet (ﷺ) nor Yusuf (عليه السلام) found their value in their appearance. But their beautiful appearance would captivate the audience they were calling to Allah.

**[5:50]** So subhanAllah, someone might be tested with beauty and then use the leverage they have with it to bring about goodness. Like Abdullah ibn Abbas (رضي الله عنهما). They said when you looked at him, you said he was the most beautiful of people. And when he spoke, you said he was the most intelligent of people.

**[6:06]** But he was using that to show people the beauty of Islam inside and out. And when a person starts noticing Allah, their beauty standards change to want to be noticed more by Allah. Look at Mus'ab ibn Umair (رضي الله عنه), who was the most eligible bachelor of Mecca.

**[6:24]** Young, handsome, wealthy, a celebrity in every sense of the word. But he left all of that for Islam. When he passed away, he was covered in dirt in the battlefield with hideous wounds and not even a garment that could shroud his entire body.

**[6:40]** I mean, subhanAllah, Sahaba would cry decades after the martyrdom of Mus'ab just remembering the sight of him at death. But if you think about it, he gave up his outward beauty and fashion trendsetting for inward beauty and righteous trendsetting.

**[6:55]** And look now, a young man who would have died a fashion model and been forgotten with his disappearance from this earth becomes this beautiful example that transcends time. We're still talking about him and naming our kids after him over a thousand years later.

**[7:12]** His deeds became his garment of beauty. And that's what Uthman (رضي الله عنه) said, that whenever a person does an action, Allah clothes him with that deed. If the deed is good, then the garment is good. And if the deed is evil, then the garment is evil.

**[7:28]** You know the phrase, you are what you eat? Well, according to this statement, you appear to others how you act with Allah. Ibn Abbas (رضي الله عنه) said, inna lilhasanati dhiya'an fil wajhi wa nooran fil qalb wa quwwatan fil badan

**[7:44]** wa sa'atan fil rizq wa mahabbatan fi qulubil khalq That good deeds bring beauty to the face and light to the heart and strength to the body and abundance to our wealth and love in the hearts of the creation. If you think about it, these are the very things that people chase after in this world,

**[8:04]** but their true forms are found in virtue, not in vanity. And the opposite is true. Sin can deform our faces and destroy our sustenance. But we all have some sins that Allah covers with His mercy. And the believer knows that any beauty they have

**[8:20]** is actually the beauty of Allah's veil upon them. man akramak innama akrama fika jameela sitrihi falhamdu liman satarak laisa alhamdu liman akramak wa shakarak Whoever honors you, honors only the beauty of His veil upon you.

**[8:38]** Therefore, praise is to Him who veiled you, not to the one who praises you. That's why the Prophet (ﷺ) would make du'a, Allahumma kama ahsanta khalqi fa hassin khuluqi O Allah, as You have beautified my appearance, then beautify my character.

**[8:54]** In other words, as You made me beautiful on the outside, make me beautiful on the inside. You notice in the du'a that you're saying, O Allah, You made me beautiful like it's a matter of fact, denoting that no matter what Allah gave you in terms of physical appearance, you're pleased with it and you thank Allah for it

**[9:11]** while being fully focused on the potential of your character, which unleashes your true beauty. And sometimes the beauty of your character doesn't shine brightest until you go through the most difficult of tests.

**[9:44]** Just as the Most Wise decreed you to look the way you do, just as Al-Musawwir shaped your physical attributes, He also decreed your rizq, your provision. And if you're unable to see the blessings in every situation, what you have or don't have could affect how you process your world.

## Other Episodes in "Why Me"
- [Did My Life Really Matter? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/did-my-life-really-matter-why-me.md)
- [When Life Comes Full Circle | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/when-life-comes-full-circle-why-me.md)
- [What Will The Day of My Death Be Like? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/what-do-i-feel-when-im-dying-why-me.md)
- [Will Allah Still Forgive Me? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/will-allah-still-forgive-me-why-me.md)
- [How Can I Accept That I'm Dying? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/how-can-i-accept-that-im-dying-why-me.md)
- [What If It's Too Late? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/what-if-its-too-late-why-me.md)
- [Do Good Deeds Extend My Life? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/do-good-deeds-extend-my-life-why-me.md)
- [Why Is There So Much Suffering in The World? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-is-there-so-much-suffering-in-the-world-why-me.md)
- [Can I Escape The Outcome of My Sins? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/can-i-escape-the-outcome-of-my-sins-why-me.md)
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- [Why Is Everything Falling Apart? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-is-everything-falling-apart-why-me.md)
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- [Why Do They Get the Life I Want? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-do-they-get-the-life-i-want-why-me.md)
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- [Did I Choose To Be Muslim? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/did-i-choose-to-be-muslim-why-me.md)
- [Why Do I Have to Carry Their Burden? |  Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-do-i-have-to-carry-their-burden-why-me.md)
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- [What Shaped My Personality? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/what-shaped-my-personality-why-me.md)
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- [What Happened On My Birth Day? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/what-happened-on-my-birth-day-why-me.md)
- [Why Did Allah Choose This Time for Me? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/why-did-allah-choose-this-time-for-me-why-me.md)
- [Where Was I Before I Was Born? | Why Me?](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/where-was-i-before-i-was-born-why-me.md)
- [Trailer: Why Me? | A Ramadan Series on Understanding Qadar](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/why-me/trailer-why-me-a-ramadan-series-on-understanding-qadar.md)