# Training Your Temper and Responding to Insults | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 2

**Author:** Dr. Omar Suleiman
**Series:** Servants of the Most Merciful
**Published:** 2025-11-24
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/49NkupTsqls
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/training-your-temper-and-responding-to-insults-servants-of-the-most-merciful-ep-2
**Topics:** Acts of Worship, Sharia

## Description
Dr. Omar Suleiman explores the second defining quality of Ibad ur-Rahman (Servants of the Most Merciful): those who embody forbearance (hilm) and composure when confronted by ignorance or provocation. “When the ignorant address them, they only respond with peace.” — Qur’an 25:63 What does it mean...

## Chapters
- 0:00 The hadith of the raging, angry man
- 7:50 How the Prophet ﷺ responded to curses
- 14:38 How do you treat non-hostile people?
- 23:39 The difference between humility and humiliation
- 32:03 How Shaytan annoys and provokes
- 41:48 Do you actually say “salam” (peace)?
- 47:17 The allowed response and the excellent response
- 56:11 Conclusion

## Transcript
**[0:00]** I want to welcome you all back to Halaqah number 2 now of Ibadur-Rahman. May Allah

**[0:17]** Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala count us amongst Ibadur-Rahman and may Allah Azawajal gather us with the greatest of Ibadur-Rahman, Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam under Arshur-Rahman on the Day of Judgment and in Al-Firdaus Al-A'la. Allahumma Ameen. We are continuing today with the ayah where Allah Subhanahu Wa

**[0:37]** Ta'ala mentions, وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَٰنَ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا Those who tread the earth lightly and we spoke about this in detail last week. وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا

**[0:56]** And when the foolish address them, they respond with words of peace. Now you will notice that this is the same ayah and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala does not separate between the two situations that are mentioned here.

**[1:11]** So Allah Azawajal is giving us a continuation of the same posture, but I want to begin with a hadith which is very interesting. It's narrated by Sulayman ibn Surad (رضي الله عنه), who says, اسْتَبَّ رَجُلَانِ عِنْدَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

**[1:27]** That there were two people that were fighting in the presence of the Prophet (ﷺ) وَنَحْنُ عِنْدَهُ جُلُوسٌ While we were sitting and we were watching them. وَأَحَدُهُمَا يَسُبُّ صَاحِبَهُ That one of them was cursing the other one from a state of ghadab.

**[1:43]** And I want to be very precise with the words here. He was in a fit of rage and he was cursing his friend. And he mentions حَمِرَ وَجْهُهُ That his face became red. So you can imagine the scene of a man that is screaming uncontrollably at his friend

**[2:01]** and the situation is getting more and more heated. And who does the Prophet (ﷺ) speak to? He doesn't speak to the man that has lost his temper. He speaks to the observers of the situation. Those that are sitting on the side.

**[2:17]** And he said (ﷺ) إِنِّي لَأَعْلَمُ كَلِمَةً لَوْ قَالَهَا لَذَهَبَ عَنْهُ مَا يَجِدُ I know a word that if he was to say it, then the state that he is in right now would disappear. He would stop being in this fit of rage.

**[2:33]** And he (ﷺ) said that the phrase is أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ Right? I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed devil. Now one of the most interesting subtleties of this hadith

**[2:51]** is that the Prophet (ﷺ) did not go to the man that was in his fit of rage and say Say, أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ But he told the others that had he said that word then the state that he is in right now would disappear.

**[3:08]** Here's something that's extremely important and there's a personal experience here to reflect on too for many of us. You know when someone is really angry and you say to them صَلِّ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ How many people actually stop and say اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ What do they usually do?

**[3:24]** They increase in their anger. They raise their voice louder. You tell them Say, أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ They don't respond to that because they're already under the influence. You know when someone is already intoxicated, it's very hard to teach them about the dangers of intoxication.

**[3:40]** You have to wait until the intoxication wears off to teach them a lesson that will be remedial. And in this situation, the companions go to the man and they say to him أَلَا تَسْمَعُ مَا يَقُولُ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ Don't you hear what the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said?

**[3:55]** So clearly, the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said it in a way that he could hear. And he responded and said إِنِّي لَسْتُ بِمَجْنُونٍ إِنِّي لَسْتُ بِمَجْنُونٍ I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. حِكْمَة Wisdom. Had the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam gone to him and said that

**[4:13]** and he blown up in the face of the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, this goes to a situation of kufr. Right? This is a much more severe situation. But instead, this becomes a lesson for us all together. Why do I start with this narration in particular?

**[4:30]** الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا That there is a state of being that precedes the calmness that you need in that moment. And if the state of being is missing that precedes the calmness that is needed in the moment,

**[4:47]** then you're going to get caught flat-footed by the shaitan and find yourself responding exactly the way that he wants you to respond. And so Allah Azawajal connects them together. There's a posture that prepares you for the moment of aggravation.

**[5:03]** Just like the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam referred to dhikr, the remembrance of Allah as the fortress of the Muslim. It's the fortress. Why is it Hisnul Muslim? Because the shaitan is always looking for a hole to penetrate. And if you constantly have your guard up with dhikr,

**[5:20]** with the dhikr of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, then he can't catch you with your shield down. So you have to keep your guard up, not wait for him to attack because it's not the same to bandage as it is to protect yourself in the first place. And there is a sabr that involves people and a sabr that doesn't involve people.

**[5:41]** Sabr that doesn't involve people is when you're patient with the weather, you're patient with something that falls on you, you're patient with a natural disaster, you're patient because your car broke down, you're patient because you know, you tripped over something. And instead of saying a curse word, you say alhamdulillah,

**[5:57]** you're patient because you got diagnosed with some sort of health, you know, disorder or some sort of disease and you say alhamdulillah, right? These are all natural forms of sabr that still require you to be ready for the moment, to have a posture of sakinah, of tranquility and readiness for the moment.

**[6:18]** And the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam mentioned, الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الْأُولَى that patience is at the first strike. You're not going to suddenly garner up that sabr in the moment. You have to have a posture that is conducive to the sabr that is going to be necessary in that moment. So you have to be ready at all times in a state of dhikr of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala,

**[6:37]** in a state of perspective so that when something happens, that's unexpected, you respond in a way that's expected. I'm going to say that again, so that when the unexpected happens, you respond in a way that's expected. Alhamdulillah.

**[6:52]** Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ Those people who when the tragedy hits them, they say inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. Here Allah Azawajal mentions, وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا

**[7:08]** When the moment comes that someone is aggressive towards them, they respond with salam. They respond with salam. The sabr that is necessary to deal with natural disaster is called sabr in the general sense, patience.

**[7:25]** The sabr that is necessary to deal with people is called hilm. Hilm, forbearance. Allah Azawajal is al-Halim. Hilm is forbearance.

**[7:41]** When you are particularly patient with what comes to you from people. Okay, so yamshoon alal ardi hawna. I want to give you the scene of the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam walking in Medina. And he's always a person who is walking Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam alal ardi hawna.

**[8:00]** He's treading the earth lightly with grace Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. And while he's walking in Medina, you have a group of the people of the book that insult the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. How? As-Saam Alaikum! As-Saam Alaikum! As-Saam Alaikum!

**[8:18]** You're all looking at me like what is he saying that's so wrong? As-Saam, As-Saam Alaikum, As-Saam Alaikum is a curse. All right, salam is peace.

**[8:33]** Some of you have been cursing each other out this whole time and you didn't even know it. Curse your spouse out, you curse your parents out, you curse your children. Salaam Alaikum! Salaam Alaikum! Salaam Alaikum! Right, because you're not saying salam. And that's why the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam simply would say,

**[8:48]** Wa Alaikum! Wa Alaikum! If they said salam and they said it too fast, Wa Alaikum! upon you. And if they said as-saam and they meant it that way, Wa Alaikum! and upon you. And he said it with grace Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam.

**[9:05]** And he walked that way. And one time he's walking with Aisha (رضي الله عنها) and some group of people, As-Saam Alaikum! Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam says Wa Alaikum! She says Wa Alaikum! Wa Alaikum! Right, she responded with a heavier curse and the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam told her,

**[9:21]** calm down. She said, did you hear what they said to you? And he said, did you hear what I responded? Right, I said Wa Alaikum! And then you have a beautiful lesson that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam teaches to Aisha (رضي الله عنها) about Ar-Rifq, about gentleness, right?

**[9:38]** And posture, how you carry yourself on this earth. Rifq is a characteristic, is a quality by the way that contains the wholeness of this ayah. يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا is contained by the quality of Rifq, gentleness.

**[9:55]** Gentleness. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam mentioned several narrations. قَالَ عَلَيْكِ بِالرِّفْقِ وَإِيَّاكِ وَالْعُنْفَ وَالْفُحْشِ One narration the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, Upon you is to be gentle and beware of harshness and being foul.

**[10:14]** The most popular narration, إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ Allah is Ar-Rafiq, يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ, and he loves gentleness, right? But I'm going to go to the practical lessons now. First one, you must be gentle and beware of being harsh and foul when you speak.

**[10:29]** In another narration, the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, مَنْ يُحْرَمِ الرِّفْقَ يُحْرَمِ الْخَيْرَ Whoever is deprived of gentleness is deprived of all good. Whoever doesn't have that quality of being a gentle person is deprived of goodness.

**[10:45]** In another narration, the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, And these are all authentic narrations, by the way. This is in Al-Tabarani. إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ وَيَرْضَاهُ وَيُعِينُ عَلَيْهِ مَا لَا يُعِينُ عَلَى الْعُنْفِ Very powerful. Allah loves gentleness and Allah is pleased when you express gentleness

**[11:06]** and he supports you when you are gentle in a way that he will not support you when you are harsh. So there is a connection now to divine aid. Allah will descend divine aid on your behalf, divine help on your behalf when you are gentle in a way that he will not be when you are harsh.

**[11:23]** The bare understanding of this is that when you take matters into your own hands, you are letting go of some of the divine aid that comes from holding on to al-urwat al-wuthqa, holding on to the trustworthy handhold of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

**[11:40]** Okay, so how do we combine the two? Humility is the beautiful attribute that Allah Azawajal praised. يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا Hilm is forbearance, is the hardest quality to manifest of that quality of humility.

**[11:59]** Of all the qualities of being humble, like humility can look like this when I meet you, salamu alaykum, I don't, you know, look down upon you, look down on my nose. Humility can be holding the door open for you. Humility can be maybe grabbing your shoes for you. Humility could be grabbing your bag.

**[12:16]** Humility could be like you see your parents, your elder, you kiss their hand or their forehead. These are all acts of tawadu. These are all acts of yamshoon alal ardi hawna. The hardest quality of the subcategory of tawadu, of humility, is when someone's aggressive towards you.

**[12:34]** And you still respond with grace, right? وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا And the ulema mention here that just like if you don't have sabr with small things, you're not going to suddenly unlock sabr with big things.

**[12:49]** Like if you're someone who loses your mind when the internet stops working, or when someone is late to pick you up, right? Or when something, someone just bothers you with something very small. How are you going to react when you get the news that someone beloved to you just died?

**[13:06]** How are you going to react when you get the news that, you know, someone crashed your car, right? How are you going to react with major episodes? Similar to how man la yashkur al-qaleel, whoever does not thank Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala for the small things,

**[13:22]** will not be able to thank Allah for big things suddenly. So minor daily repetitive acts actually prepare you for major life incidents. And what Allah Azawajal is speaking to here is how you prepare yourself on a regular basis for aggression and annoyance.

**[13:41]** And subhanAllah, when you look at the messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, this ayah, وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا actually applies to his entire life of being a nabi, being a prophet. How? In Mecca, he was mocked, and he was abused, and he was aggressed upon, and he was persecuted.

**[14:00]** In Medina, you had the people of the book, you had the hypocrites in Medina that annoyed, that aggressed. You also had the uneducated, right? The foolish, that just didn't know the manners of how to treat the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam.

**[14:17]** يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ آذَوْا مُوسَىٰ O you who believe, don't be like those who annoyed Musa (عليه السلام). So his whole life (عليه الصلاة والسلام), as a nabi, as a prophet, whether he was persecuted or in power, he's dealing with وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ

**[14:34]** And he's responding in the exact same way Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. And so the ulama mentioned, the first way that you prepare yourself with this quality, that you attain this maqam, this quality, is you look at how you treat smaller situations in life,

**[14:51]** and how you treat people that are not hostile towards you. They're not hostile towards you. What does that mean? Before you can talk about how to respond to hostility, how do you treat people in neutrality or in kindness? Al-Muslimu, right? The Muslim is the one.

**[15:07]** مَنْ سَلِمَ النَّاسُ, in one narration مَنْ سَلِمَ النَّاسُ Who people are safe from, مِنْ لِسَانِهِ وَيَدِهِ Safe from their tongue and safe from their hand. A Muslim is someone who people find salam, they find peace from their tongue and from their hand. They don't feel threatened by you

**[15:23]** because you're not someone who's naturally aggressive towards them. Also the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam mentioned that the signs of the hypocrite are four. And in one narration that fourth sign of a hypocrite is, وَإِذَا خَاصَمَ فَجَرَ

**[15:41]** When he is in an argument, because we will have arguments in our lives. That's not the point here. Every single one of us is going to have moments in our lives where we're going to find ourselves in arguments with people, or in disagreements, or whatever it is, right? Even with the people that are closest to us.

**[15:56]** We're going to find ourselves in arguments. But the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam didn't mention that he does not find himself in khusum. Because you're going to find yourself in arguments. But وَإِذَا خَاصَمَ فَجَرَ When he gets into arguments, he transgresses.

**[16:12]** How does he transgress? Curses, raises his voice, maybe becomes physically violent, right? Becomes so vindictive, vengeful. Revenge exceeds all bounds. Even if he was aggressed upon, or she was aggressed upon, the revenge is so out of proportion, right?

**[16:30]** This is all وَإِذَا خَاصَمَ فَجَرَ And this is a sign of a hypocrite, a sign of nifaq. Why? Because a person doesn't fear Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. They're going to take as much as they can from that moment of harming the other person.

**[16:46]** Because they don't believe in a Lord who holds accountable or a Lord who rewards. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, as he gave these signs of a hypocrite, if he speaks, he lies. وَإِذَا وَعَدَ أَخْلَفَ When he makes a promise, he breaks his promise. وَإِذَا اؤْتُمِنَ خَانَ And if he's entrusted with something, he breaks that trust.

**[17:05]** وَإِذَا خَاصَمَ فَجَرَ When he gets into an argument, he transgresses in argument. Abdullah ibn Umar (رضي الله عنهما), he comments on this. And he says, therefore, if a person has one of these qualities, they're one-fourth munafiq.

**[17:20]** One-fourth hypocrite. If a person has two, they're 50% hypocrite. If a person has three, they're 75% hypocrite. If a person has four, all four of these qualities, munafiq, khalas. Complete hypocrite. On the other end, if a person upholds truth when they speak, that's one-fourth of sidq, of truthfulness.

**[17:43]** And if a person then upholds their promises, when they make promises, that's 50% of sidq, of truthfulness. And if a person is good with their trusts, when someone tells them a secret, they don't violate it. When someone gives them something, they don't do away with it.

**[17:59]** They don't violate amanah. That's three-fourths of sidq, of truthfulness. And if a person maintains their composure in argument, and they don't transgress the bounds, then that is a person who is entirely full of sidq, entirely full of truthfulness.

**[18:17]** You look at the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), and this dars tonight is going to be loaded with incidents of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). Some of them familiar to you, but I want you to focus on the unique element of each story. The very famous incident where Aisha (رضي الله عنها) says,

**[18:33]** I made the Prophet (ﷺ) so mad. Like the angriest I ever made the Prophet (ﷺ), was when one day I spoke about Khadijah (رضي الله عنها) in his presence. Every day the Prophet (ﷺ) talks about Khadijah (رضي الله عنها). He gives gifts to her friends.

**[18:49]** He sends things to her relatives. He hears the voice of her sister, and he says Allahumma Hala. He gets excited that she's there. Like the Prophet (ﷺ), every day is thinking about Khadijah (رضي الله عنها), and she's dead, and she was an old woman when she passed away. And Aisha (رضي الله عنها) is a young, beautiful, vibrant woman

**[19:08]** who brings so much joy to the life of the Prophet (ﷺ). Clearly preferred, right, in terms of her company to anybody else. أَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إِلَيْهِ Right, the most beloved of people to him (ﷺ). But Khadijah, I can't, I don't know what to do about this woman that passed away.

**[19:27]** So when she says one day, didn't Allah replace that old toothless woman with someone better than her? Prophet (ﷺ) got up, the hair stood on his body. You know that anger? His face got red.

**[19:44]** Uh-oh, what's he gonna do? What did he do? Did he start calling Aisha names? Did he throw something at her? Did he curse her? Did he become foul? You know what he did? He said, وَاللَّهِ مَا أَبْدَلَنِي اللَّهُ خَيْرًا مِنْهَا

**[20:00]** I swear by Allah, Allah did not give me better than her. آمَنَتْ بِي إِذْ كَفَرَ بِي النَّاسُ Do you know who Khadijah is? Khadijah believed in me when no one else believed in me. She considered me truthful when other people called me a liar. أَنْفَقَتْ بِي, she spent on me when other people refused to spend on me.

**[20:15]** And Allah Azawajal gave me children through her. When Allah Azawajal did not give me children through any other woman. No, you cannot put down Khadijah. That's the opposite of وَإِذَا خَاصَمَ فَجَرَ That's the angriest the Prophet (ﷺ) got, and not a single word of abuse came out of his mouth towards her.

**[20:32]** That is the opposite of وَإِذَا خَاصَمَ فَجَرَ Why am I mentioning this? If you're not practicing patience with the people that you love, and you're not practicing patience in neutral situations, and you're not practicing good adab when you get upset and annoyed

**[20:49]** with your parents and your spouses and your siblings and your children even, and the people that are closest to you. How are you suddenly going to unlock that when you have someone who's an enemy of Allah Azawajal dealing with you? It's not going to happen.

**[21:04]** So you prepare this khuluq, this characteristic on a regular basis. And what comes in the tafsir of course is the hadith of Anas ibn Malik (رضي الله عنه). قَالَ كُنْتُ أَمْشِي مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

**[21:19]** وَعَلَيْهِ بُرْدٌ نَجْرَانِيٌّ The Prophet (ﷺ) was walking and he was, and I was walking with him and he had a Yemeni burd on him, a cloak from Yemen that he loved Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. And suddenly a Bedouin man came to him

**[21:35]** and he started to pull the cloak off the Prophet (ﷺ) and he twisted the neck of the Prophet (ﷺ). Look at the su' al-adab here. Look at the bad manners here. This is Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. What are you doing? And he goes and he grabs it off the Prophet (ﷺ).

**[21:51]** And this is in Medina where the Prophet (ﷺ) could snap a finger. He's in charge. He's the head of state. Snap a finger. Umar ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه) would happily do away with that man. And he says, أَعْطِنِي مِمَّا أَعْطَاكَ اللَّهُ Give me from what Allah gave you.

**[22:07]** Give me from what Allah gave you. Anas (رضي الله عنه) says that the Prophet (ﷺ)'s neck was scarred. Like he left a mark. What did the Prophet (ﷺ) do? He took it off. He gave it to him. He said, Anas take him to bayt al-mal and give him some charity. What?

**[22:25]** Where did that come from? Because the Prophet (ﷺ) was always walking on the earth. Hawnan. And sometimes people came to him that were aggressive out of hate. Some of them were aggressive out of true ignorance.

**[22:40]** But the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) always responded the exact same way. Okay. Now when we get to people who are actually aggressive with you because of your deen. And I say this if you live in a country.

**[22:58]** Right? Like this one where you are safe with your Islam. Where no one would violate you because of your deen. Then prepare yourself. First of all, say alhamdulillah for that amn, for that safety. But also prepare yourself for the moment.

**[23:13]** If I was in that situation. Because remember this is Meccan Quran. This is early Mecca where there is constant abuse towards the believers. Maybe you'll be in a situation where you'll one day be in a minority country. Or you'll be a minority in a country again. Or you'll be in the United States. Or you'll be in the United Kingdom.

**[23:29]** Or whatever it may be. Some of you go both places. Right? The point is, is that this is how you prepare yourself with the khuluq. First and foremost, the ulema mentioned that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala at no point tells the believers to be dhillah, to be humiliated.

**[23:45]** To humiliate themselves towards the disbelievers. That's not أَذِلَّةٍ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَعِزَّةٍ عَلَى الْكَافِرِينَ Right? You have a certain level of humility with the believers and a certain level of izzah, honor with the disbelievers.

**[24:00]** But there's a difference between honorable humility and dishonorable humiliation. There's a difference between honorable humility and dishonorable humiliation. You're not supposed to put your head down and sacrifice your deen and let someone push you around to where that would give them a sense that the religion is weak.

**[24:21]** Say things and push you and out of a fear of them, hold yourself back. Izzah is to stand with dignity and to not become as foul as them, but also at no point to relinquish your deen.

**[24:39]** At no point to relinquish your deen. And it's a fine line between the two. Right? At no point does the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam humiliate himself, but he remains humbled and humbling and honorable Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam in every single situation.

**[24:59]** Because the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, his humility was izzah, his humility was honor. And the proof of that is that it drove Abu Jahl and Abu Lahab and all these people crazy that they couldn't get the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam out of his element. The idea is your enemy wants to get you to act like them so they can say, see, he's just like us.

**[25:18]** That in fact was the main message in Mecca. We are, we know who we are. We know who we are, but he's just like us. He just wants some money. He wants some fame. He wants to get something out of this. So they wanted to poke him Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam in public, hoping he would react like them.

**[25:36]** Therefore, they could say to the observers, see, he's just a man. He's not a prophet. There is nothing special about him. But the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam was always walking on the earth with grace, ready for the moment Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam.

**[25:53]** You know, Shaykh Kishk Rahimahullah, he had a beautiful method. I'm not even going to try to say it in Masri. I'm sorry. I'll just give you the English paraphrasing of it just so that the message can get across. But I remember hearing this in one of his durus and it was so amazing. He said that there was a fly that said to a tree, watch out.

**[26:09]** I'm about to jump onto you. And the tree said, I didn't feel you fly off of me. Why would I feel you land on me? And that's the idea of a person that is walking in their own element. Like I'm in a relationship with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. I don't, I'm not bothered by you.

**[26:25]** You cannot get me out of my element because I have a path. I have a way that I'm walking. I have a place that I'm going and nothing you could do could change that about me. Now, وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا

**[26:40]** The word jahil means what? What does jahil mean when you hear it? What does it mean to you? Ignorance, right? We call it jahiliyyah, right? Ignorance. But, but the word jahil has another connotation as well,

**[26:58]** which you are getting to right now. Jahil, in the Arabic language, has two main branches. There is jahil that is dhidd al-ilm. That is the opposite of knowledge.

**[27:14]** And there's jahil that is dhidd al-hilm. That is the opposite of forbearance, the quality that we're talking about. The one that Allah is talking about here is not the jahil that is in contradiction to ilm. It's the jahil that is in contradiction to hilm.

**[27:31]** What do I mean by that? Al-jahil is as-safahah wal-ghadhab. It's a person who is foolish, who is irritated, impulsive, angry. And in fact, the way that you dissect this is you look through the Arabic poetry.

**[27:51]** One of the mu'allaqat of Amr ibn Kulthum. In fact, it's the last lines. He says that, أَلَا لَا يَجْهَلَنَّ أَحَدٌ عَلَيْنَا فَنَجْهَلَ فَوْقَ جَهْلِ الْجَاهِلِينَ No one will show jahl towards us,

**[28:07]** except that we will respond with a greater jahl than the jahileen. This is referring, and by the way, it's not like a hadith. This is old Arabic poetry just to give you the meaning here of jahil, is al-ghadhab, is anger, right? So Allah Azawajal is not speaking to people that are ignorant or uneducated.

**[28:25]** Allah is speaking to rude people, about rude people, people that are intentionally aggressive towards you, and they're provocative towards you. So these are not the people like the Bedouin that we mentioned in the story that Anas ibn Malik (رضي الله عنه) mentioned.

**[28:40]** These are the Abu Jahls of the world. These are the disbelievers. These are people that are trying to knock you out of your element, and they are foolish, and they act from a place of rage and irritation and impulsiveness. They're explosive people, right? Angry, easily irritated, impulsive,

**[28:55]** and they treat the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and the believers in a disrespectful way on purpose. Allah Azawajal mentions in [Al-Qasas 28:55], وَإِذَا سَمِعُوا اللَّغْوَ أَعْرَضُوا عَنْهُ وَقَالُوا لَنَا أَعْمَالُنَا وَلَكُمْ أَعْمَالُكُمْ سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ لَا نَبْتَغِي الْجَاهِلِينَ

**[29:12]** Very similar verse, by the way. And when they hear al-laghw, vain talk, they turn away from it. And they say, we have our way and you have your way. We have our deeds and you have your deeds.

**[29:27]** You do you and we will do us. Peace be on to you. We do not desire to act like al-jahileen. We have no interest in getting dirty with you and in wrestling with you in the mud. We're going to stay out of this.

**[29:43]** I'm moving on. I'm maintaining my own composure in this regard. There's a very interesting narration in the Seerah of Ibn Hisham and other scholars narrate this with a sanad. That after the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam sent the believers to Al-Habasha.

**[29:59]** An-Najashi (رضي الله عنه) sent a group of Christians that came to Al-Madinah or that came to Mecca rather at the time to investigate the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. About 20 Christians came to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam to investigate what the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam was teaching.

**[30:18]** So they came to Al-Masjid Al-Haram and when they came to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam recited some Quran to them and they were deeply moved by the recitation of the Quran and they found themselves in a place where the tears are running down their eyes.

**[30:36]** Their hearts are softened. They're believing what the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam is saying and then Abu Jahl comes to them and he says تَعْسًا لَكُمْ مَا رَأَيْنَا قَوْمًا أَحْمَقَ مِنْكُمْ So what a miserable and dumb people you are.

**[30:51]** You came to investigate his religion and that quickly you accepted his religion and you left everything that you've known your whole life. See Abu Jahl could not understand, right? What is it about the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and these deeply convicted people in their own religion that they hear the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam one time

**[31:08]** and they know that he's telling the truth and they're ready to leave behind a whole lifetime of religion and faith for his faith Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam because the whole premise of Abu Jahl is our adat, our taqaleed, our aba, what our fathers, forefathers were upon, our idols, our ways, our tribalistic ways, right?

**[31:28]** How can this man come and disrupt Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam everything that we have had? So they responded to Abu Jahl سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ لَا نَبْتَغِي الْجَاهِلِينَ Peace be on to you. We have no intention to engage with you.

**[31:46]** Be gone. We're not interested in getting in a fight with Abu Jahl. لَنَا مَا نَحْنُ عَلَيْهِ وَلَكُمْ مَا أَنْتُمْ عَلَيْهِ We have what we're upon and you have what you're upon. Go on with your way. We're not interested in fighting with you in this regard.

**[32:03]** Keep in mind here that Allah Azawajal has not even spoken about ya'ni al-i'tida, like responding to serious crimes against you, vengeance. Because if you can solve the root, then you're not going to find yourself in a situation where you're transgressing when things become major.

**[32:27]** Okay, why did the people of Mecca increase their transgression against the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and the believers? Because they could not get them to fall with their insults and their isolation. So they kept on increasing the persecution because they thought if they turned up the heat that they would get the result that they wanted.

**[32:48]** But Allah Azawajal was only building the believers through this. And the ulama mention here that the type of laghw that Allah is talking about here, the type of vain talk that Allah is talking about here is al-istifzaz. Particularly al-istifzaz, which is annoyances.

**[33:05]** Pay attention to how Allah Azawajal speaks about ash-shaytan. Okay, and what the shaytan tries to do with you. Allah Azawajal mentions to you to say, رَبِّ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ هَمَزَاتِ الشَّيَاطِينِ Say, oh my lord, I seek refuge in you from hamazat.

**[33:23]** You know what hamazat is? Hamazat is when someone pokes you. Stings, pokes. Hey, just imagine right now you're sitting in your seat and you're trying to listen to me. This might be happening with some sibling somewhere and your sibling's going, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

**[33:38]** You say, stop. Those are hamazat. Because all shaytan has at the end of the day are waswas. He can whisper, right? Shaytan can't come out of you and suddenly punch you in the face. So there are waswas and he tries different types of waswas with you, different types of annoyances with you.

**[33:57]** So Allah Azawajal mentions to say, say I seek refuge in Allah from hamazat ash-shayatin. The poking of the shaytan. You know the word pushes, he pushes my buttons. Stop pushing my buttons. So I seek refuge in Allah from the shaytan when he pushes my buttons.

**[34:15]** Allah Azawajal also mentions, وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ When you find yourself being provoked, nazgh is a particular type of provocation by the shaytan.

**[34:31]** فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ Then seek refuge in Allah. This comes in the context of da'wah. These are the ayat, ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ Right? وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ

**[34:46]** وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ Allah Azawajal is saying, look, keep responding to that evil with good. Don't respond to them in the way that they are pushing you. And if you find shaytan provoking you, how shaytan going to provoke you?

**[35:02]** Shaytan is going to come to you and say, you're going to let Abu Jahl talk to you like that? You're going to let them say that to you? You're going to let them do that to you? Right? That's called nazgh. Nazgh is incitement. Okay? Allah Azawajal mentions,

**[35:17]** إِنَّ الَّذِينَ اتَّقَوْا إِذَا مَسَّهُمْ طَائِفٌ مِّنَ الشَّيْطَانِ تَذَكَّرُوا Right? فَإِذَا هُم مُّبْصِرُونَ Allah Azawajal mentions that verily those who fear Allah, when shaytan hits them with ta'if. Ta'if is like a, ta'ifun minash shaytan here is like a wave.

**[35:33]** Think about if you're in the ocean and it seems very calm and then suddenly a wave smacks you in the face. That's the image of ta'ifun minash shaytan. Like, whoa! Right? You got taken by a moment by the shaytan, things were going completely normal. Next thing you know, he pushes you into a sin.

**[35:48]** تَذَكَّرُوا They remember Allah. فَإِذَا هُم مُّبْصِرُونَ They can see again. Wipe their eyes. No, no. They keep going towards Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and they don't let the shaytan take them. So the ulama mentioned that ta'ifun minash shaytan is when shaytan tries to give you an emotional rush to an overreaction that will lead to sin.

**[36:05]** An emotional rush to an overreaction that will lead to sin. Okay? But you ground yourself. Notice Allah Azawajal keeps on mentioning that you ground yourself every single time. All of this can be summarized by al-istifzaz.

**[36:24]** Al-istifzaz is when you try to get someone out of their element. Okay? When you try to get someone out of their element so that they respond in a way that they are not supposed to respond and in a way that's not befitting to their high standards.

**[36:41]** Remember, ibadur-rahman have higher standards. They're not only forgiving in major elements. They're not only going to just have retribution to the extent that is allowed for them.

**[36:56]** They hold themselves to a higher standard. They even have a way to respond to the smallest provocations. And every single one of us should be practicing this quality every day at home because how many of you have people at home that annoy you? Don't raise your hands.

**[37:12]** That was a trick question. That was istifzaz. Astaghfirullah. Right? But I am impressed like no one like only like two people dared to raise their hand. All the brothers looked over and said, can she see me?

**[37:27]** You know, right? Like everyone gets annoyed at home sometimes. Practice this on a daily basis and that's going to help you when you find yourself in a difficult situation where you're being provoked by the enemies of Allah. Let's continue inshallah ta'ala with the tafsir of this, the rich seerah dimension of this.

**[37:45]** So this is al-istifzaz qabla al-i'tida before the higher levels of transgression and retaliation. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala mentions to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ

**[38:02]** Another very similar verse where Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala mentions that choose the path of al-afw, forgiveness, pardon. Choose the path of pardon. وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ and encourage good behavior.

**[38:18]** وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ, the same word is used here. Turn away from the ignorant, turn away from the foolish. Okay, turn away from the foolish. There's an incident in tafsir here. And it's actually in al-Bukhari. That Uyaynah ibn Hudhayfah, he stayed with his nephew al-Hurr ibn Qays.

**[38:38]** And al-Hurr ibn Qays was from Ahl al-Quran. And this was in the time of Umar ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه). And Umar (رضي الله عنه), as the narration says, he used to like to keep Ahl al-Quran around him. The most beloved person to him was Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (رضي الله عنه). Right?

**[38:53]** Because Abdullah ibn Mas'ud recited the Quran like it was revealed. Alright? So al-Hurr ibn Qays was one of Ahl al-Quran. And his nephew came to stay with him. Or rather his uncle. Sorry, al-Hurr is the nephew.

**[39:09]** Uyaynah is the uncle. So he's a little older. Right? And maybe a little bit rash. So he says to al-Hurr, his nephew, he says, I know that you're close to Umar ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه), Amir al-Mu'mineen. He said, can you introduce me to him?

**[39:24]** Yeah, of course, I can introduce you to Umar ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه). So he says that, so I took him to Umar ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه). And I'm expecting like salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. Ya Amir al-Mu'mineen. It's so nice to meet you. Jazakallahu khairan for everything that you do for this ummah.

**[39:40]** What does he say? He says, هَيْ يَا ابْنَ الْخَطَّابِ It's so funny because you read it and it sounds like English. Hey, ya ibn al-Khattab. Right? Ha, ya. هَيْ يَا ابْنَ الْخَطَّابِ He immediately starts to admonish him. He says, فَوَاللَّهِ مَا تُعْطِينَا الْجَزْلَ وَلَا تَحْكُمُ بَيْنَنَا بِالْعَدْلِ

**[40:00]** I swear you don't give us what we deserve and you don't rule us with justice. Hurr is like, oh my God, I brought this guy. I brought my uncle to meet Umar al-Khattab and this is how he addresses him? So he says, فَغَضِبَ عُمَرُ Umar (رضي الله عنه) was upset. Like Umar hated to be accused of injustice and he feared injustice.

**[40:19]** But like just, like Umar was so taken aback. Like, come on man, I gave you my time and this is how you address me? So al-Hurr says, I said to him, ya Amir al-Mu'mineen. إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى قَالَ لِنَبِيِّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ

**[40:36]** وَإِنَّ هَذَا مِنَ الْجَاهِلِينَ He said, ya Amir al-Mu'mineen, Allah told his Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, take to forgiveness, enjoy in good character and turn away from foolish people. And this man, he's speaking about his own uncle, is from al-jahileen. So he says, as soon as I said that to Umar (رضي الله عنه),

**[40:54]** he said Umar (رضي الله عنه) immediately changed back to himself. It was an instant change in his behavior. Like the anger right away escaped him. And what does he say about Umar (رضي الله عنه)? This is in the narration. وَكَانَ وَقَّافًا عِنْدَ كِتَابِ اللَّهِ

**[41:10]** I love that part of it. He says that Umar (رضي الله عنه) always would stop at where the book of Allah told him to stop. Waqqafan inda kitabillah means like he acted immediately in accordance with the book of Allah. When the Quran was mentioned to Umar (رضي الله عنه), he immediately adjusted.

**[41:25]** So he was able to take himself from an element of anger immediately to an element of composure on the basis of what happened there. He was always someone who adhered to the book of Allah in the moment as it was mentioned to him. (رضي الله عنه)

**[41:40]** So that is turning away from the foolish means don't engage. Turning away from the foolish means don't engage. وَإِذَا خَاطَبَهُمُ الْجَاهِلُونَ قَالُوا سَلَامًا The problem here becomes saying salam. Do you actually say salam?

**[41:56]** Or do you say something that resembles salam? Like would the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam actually say to Abu Jahl salamu alaykum? Salam, salam, salam? Or did he resemble it? By the way, sometimes subhanAllah we use words of dhikr as sabb, as like curses.

**[42:14]** So you say astaghfirullah. You're not really doing istighfar. You're suggesting that the other person is disgusting. Ittaqillah. You're using it like masabba, like you're cursing the person. So it's like salam here is not like if you're getting in an argument with someone

**[42:29]** and then you drop a salam at the end. And you just say salam, salama, right? To suggest that they are from al-jahileen wa inta mashallah, you're a Nabi of Allah. Right? Like we're ibadur-rahman, salama. Right? That's not what this is referring to. Allah Azawajal is referring to the behavior.

**[42:46]** Right? Peace. You know, thank you very much. Shukran. You know, ma'a salama. Something that resembles salam. But the salam here is salamun mutarakah.

**[43:01]** Salam mutarakah. As Imam al-Tabari Rahimahullah says, لَيْسَ سَلَامَ تَحِيَّةٍ وَتَرْحِيبٍ This is not the salam that we say salamu alaykum to each other. Which is a salam of welcome and greeting. This is salam, it's the opposite salam, mutarakah. Salam like I'm gonna go now.

**[43:17]** I'm not gonna engage. But I'm gonna give you a nice word as I leave you. Maybe you can think about it as we move on. Salamun mutarakah, the most beautiful manifestation of it is actually Ibrahim (عليه السلام). When he spoke to his father and he gave him beautiful da'wah.

**[43:34]** And his father responded to him and said, أَرَاغِبٌ أَنتَ عَنْ آلِهَتِي يَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ Are you really saying what you're saying about my gods O Ibrahim? لَئِن لَّمْ تَنتَهِ لَأَرْجُمَنَّكَ وَاهْجُرْنِي مَلِيًّا If you don't stop, I'm gonna kill you.

**[43:49]** Get away from me. سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكَ سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكَ سَأَسْتَغْفِرُ لَكَ رَبِّي That's his father though. I'll go seek forgiveness for you with my Lord. إِنَّهُ كَانَ بِي حَفِيًّا You know, like my Lord receives me with, with, with beauty.

**[44:04]** So, oh, my father, you know, think about what I said to you. سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكَ so that if there's some decency inside of you, you'll think about it. And a decent person will actually recalibrate if the person that they spoke to in that way responded with beauty.

**[44:19]** And that happened to a lot of people in Mecca. Right? ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ Sometimes it happens that the person that was your enemy becomes your loving, protecting friend. Because they feel like dirt when they treat you that way.

**[44:35]** Like, no, I shouldn't have done that. That person only responded with beauty and even at the end, salam. Like, bye, you know, it's okay. I'm gonna move on now and move on with my own life. And inshallah khair, we'll talk later.

**[44:50]** Notice, subhanAllah, there's a gem here in the people of salam, the people of Islam. The salam of al-mutarakah. Salam in Mecca, right? Salam in response to aggression. What was the first thing the Prophet (ﷺ) said in Medina as he set up society?

**[45:08]** أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ أَفْشُوا السَّلَامَ This is the salam of spreading active peace, spread peace, spread salam. And one of the signs of the Day of Judgment, and I hate to say this because I know it's,

**[45:24]** you know, the most rewardable behaviors, by the way, are the ones that are the hardest to implement. In a Muslim country, let's be honest. Do you say salamu alaykum to people you don't know? You try. Jazakallah khair.

**[45:41]** Not salama, when they don't serve you the way that you wanted to be served or if they cut you off on the road. Right? Salamu alaykum, salamu alaykum. Someone gets in the elevator, salamu alaykum. You pass by people, salamu alaykum, right? Anyone, any Muslim, salamu alaykum.

**[45:56]** One of the signs of the Day of Judgment is that salam becomes only to people that you know. It's one of the signs of Yawm al-Qiyamah. Right? Say salam, afshus salam. That's the beautiful salam that you spread. And someone's thinking like that's not going to fly in Qatar.

**[46:12]** You know what? Make it fly. You be the change that you want to see. In any Muslim country, I personally actually don't know a single Muslim country that actually implements this. And honestly, subhanAllah, even like Muslims living in the West,

**[46:27]** you pass by a Muslim in the grocery store and you say salam, it's like, what do you want? What are you trying to get out of me? Like I don't start holding my pockets, like I don't have anything to give you, get lost. Right? We have to change that behavior as the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam talked to us or spoke to us in that regard.

**[46:43]** So there's salam mutarakah and salam tarheeb. There's salam leaving someone off, like I'm going to be gone now, but you should know that it's all good for me, salam. I'm going to keep on my way. And if you ever want to join the way, come on over. And there's salam in greeting people, actively spreading salam with the people.

**[47:01]** At the end of the day, what the ayah is referring to is when people try to provoke you, you don't let them in your heart or in your mind. Now, there are levels of salam. And I promised you I'm not going to go as long as last week. So inshallah ta'ala, I'll wrap this up within 15 minutes, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala.

**[47:17]** There is ihsan in how you apply this. There's ihsan in how you apply this and there's rukhsah in how you apply this. Ihsan is excellence. That's the highest thing to aspire to. And then there's rukhsah. There's what's allowed to you. So there's a very famous narration that Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه)

**[47:34]** was sitting with the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. And this is clearly in Mecca. And someone came and was being aggressive towards the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam and Abu Bakr. Now he kind of gave up on the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam because the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam was just so in his zone all the time,

**[47:52]** (عليه الصلاة والسلام) So he started to speak to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. I'm sorry, speak to Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) with those same nasty words. Now in the narration of Muslim Imam Ahmad, Okay, which is also an authentic narration. That Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه), as he was holding his composure initially,

**[48:11]** the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam was pleased. He was smiling at the composure of Abu Bakr. Like good job Abu Bakr. You're not letting them get to you. Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) says that at some point I just got sick of it and I responded to them.

**[48:28]** And the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam got up and he left. Suddenly the whole focus of Abu Bakr is not on the people that are being aggressive towards him, but it's on the fact that I might have upset the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. So he said that he immediately followed the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam.

**[48:46]** فَلَحِقَهُ And then he said to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, Ya Rasulullah, this person was insulting us, insulting me, وَأَنتَ جَالِسٌ, and you were sitting there and I was sitting there. You know, I didn't do anything except that I got angry and I responded to him in the same way that he was speaking to us.

**[49:07]** But you got angry and you walked away Ya Rasulullah. So Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam says, إِنَّهُ كَانَ مَعَكَ مَلَكٌ يَرُدُّ عَنْكَ that before you responded there was an angel that came from the heavens to respond on your behalf.

**[49:22]** Think of the visual here. We were sitting together and Allah Azawajal sent an angel. The angel was responding on your behalf to that person, right? So that made the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam happy to see the angel coming alongside Abu Bakr responding to this person.

**[49:39]** Once you responded to him, Ya Abu Bakr, وَقَعَ الشَّيْطَانُ Ash-shaytan came, the angel left. And the shaytan started to support you, right, in your response. Yeah, say this now, say that, right? Heat up the conversation.

**[49:55]** And the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam says, فَلَمْ أَكُنْ لِأَقْعُدَ مَعَ الشَّيْطَانِ I didn't want to sit with the devil. I didn't want to be in the presence of a shaytan. I'm going to go to the extended part of this narration in a bit inshallah ta'ala, but I'm going to say something which is very important here.

**[50:11]** The scholars as they comment on this hadith, they say that Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) technically did not do anything wrong. He took the rukhsah. He had the right to respond in the exact same way that he was being spoken to. Right? So he took the rukhsah.

**[50:27]** But the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam was setting a higher standard for him of ihsan. Technically, there's nothing wrong with what Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) did, but the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam always wanted to see a higher level from his companions. Now in the extended narration Muslim Ahmad,

**[50:42]** the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, ثُمَّ قَالَ يَا أَبَا بَكْرٍ ثَلَاثٌ كُلُّهُنَّ حَقٌّ There are three things that are all true. I'm going to say them very slowly. مَا مِنْ عَبْدٍ ظُلِمَ بِمَظْلَمَةٍ فَيَغْضِي عَنْهَا

**[50:57]** لِلَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ إِلَّا أَعَزَّهُ اللَّهُ بِهَا نَصْرُهُ The first thing he said to him, that no servant is wronged with an injustice and chooses to overlook it for the sake of Allah, except that Allah increases him in honor and strength to it.

**[51:12]** And then he said Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, وَمَا فَتَحَ رَجُلٌ بَابَ عَطِيَّةٍ يُرِيدُ بِهَا صِلَةً إِلَّا زَادَهُ اللَّهُ بِهَا كَثْرَةً And no one opens their door of generosity,

**[51:28]** intending to maintain kinship. The relations of kinship, except that Allah will increase him in abundance as a result of what he has done. قَالَ وَمَا فَتَحَ رَجُلٌ بَابَ مَسْأَلَةٍ يُرِيدُ بِهَا كَثْرَةً

**[51:44]** إِلَّا زَادَهُ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ بِهَا قِلَّةً And no one will open a door of asking, meaning begging people for wealth, except that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala will increase him only in poverty through that door of asking constantly.

**[52:01]** So he's telling Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه), look, you're not decreasing in honor when you hold yourself in this regard and when you move forward in this regard. That's how he taught Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه). How did he teach Umar (رضي الله عنه)? There are so many narrations in this regard.

**[52:17]** My favorite one is the narration of Zayd ibn Sa'nah. Zayd ibn Sa'nah was a Jewish rabbi in Medina, who, when the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam came to Medina and the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam wanted to do business with the people of the book to maintain relations with them, to maintain civility with them,

**[52:34]** to build trust. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam took a loan from him. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam used to loan and he used to take loans, borrow and lend with the Jewish community in Medina. Right? As a means of building a harmonious society.

**[52:51]** So Zayd ibn Sa'nah was a rabbi. He comes to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam before the debt is due and he starts to insult the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam in front of the companions. Right? And he says, I know your kind.

**[53:06]** Right? I know how you people are. He uses all the tropes, the stereotypes about the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. Umar ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه) says to him and when Umar (رضي الله عنه) speaks, he roars, right? قَالَ يَا عَدُوَّ اللَّهِ تَقُولُ لِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ مَا أَسْمَعُ وَتَفْعَلُ بِهِ مَا أَرَى

**[53:25]** You're saying to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, Am I really hearing what you're saying to the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam right now, enemy of Allah? And am I really seeing you do to him what you're doing? And he's like, just give me the command, Ya Rasulullah. Let me take him out. And Zayd ibn Sa'nah got scared.

**[53:40]** When Umar (رضي الله عنه) spoke that way, it was like, uh-oh. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, instead of saying to Zayd ibn Sa'nah, you kind of deserve it for how you came and dealt with me in front of the people. He says, Ya Umar, it's not how we deal with people. I didn't need that from you. I would have much preferred that you

**[53:56]** paid off the debts, right? Helped me to send him on his way than to speak to him that way. So the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, take him and give him back what he's owed and then give him an extra 20 sa' for the way that you scared him, for how you treated him.

**[54:13]** Umar (رضي الله عنه) walks with Zayd ibn Sa'nah and as Umar (رضي الله عنه) is walking with him, so begrudgingly, like, you know, he wants to choke the guy. Zayd ibn Sa'nah, he says, Ya Umar, do you know who I am? He said, no, and I don't care who you are.

**[54:29]** Like, I'm not interested. He said, I'm Zayd ibn Sa'nah. He said, حَبْرُ الْيَهُودِ? He said, you're the rabbi of the Jews? And he said, yes. He said, what caused you to act in such a foolish manner with the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam? And here's what he said

**[54:45]** in this regard. He said that I saw in the Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, all of the signs of nubuwwah, all of the signs of prophethood from the Bible or from the Torah, from what we learned in our scriptures, right? He said, but there was one that I had not yet seen

**[55:01]** and I wanted to test. يَسْبِقُ حِلْمُهُ جَهْلَهُ يَسْبِقُ حِلْمُهُ جَهْلَهُ Okay, so his hilm, his forbearance is greater than his jahl, than his foolishness. وَلَا تَزِيدُهُ شِدَّةُ الْجَهْلِ عَلَيْهِ إِلَّا حِلْمًا

**[55:19]** And when you increase in foolishness towards him, he only increases in forbearance as a result. And he said, now that I tested that, أَشْهَدُ أَن لَّا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ I saw it for myself. I poked and the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam responded exactly as we were taught that he would respond.

**[55:39]** So the highest level of amplifying or manifesting this trait of Ibadur-Rahman is that when someone becomes more aggressive towards you to try to get a response out of you, you actually demonstrate more groundedness in the deen and sakinah.

**[55:56]** And that will only frustrate them more and frustrate the shaytan more as well. Because like I can't get you out of your element. It's like Imam Ash-Shafi'i Rahimahullah mentions, when you burn the incense, it only smells better. Right? So the scent only becomes more beautiful.

**[56:11]** The books of adab, they mentioned a narration with Abu Bakr as-Siddiq (رضي الله عنه), but I wasn't able to find the sanad, but it's a beautiful one that we mentioned because it just has such a great meaning that there was a man who got into it with Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه)

**[56:28]** and he was cursing Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه). فَقَامَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَنْهُ وَانْصَرَفَ Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) got up and he simply just moved on. He didn't engage the man in this. So the man said to him, إِيَّاكَ عَنِّي

**[56:43]** and Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) said, وَعَنْكَ أُعْرِضُ Right? إِيَّاكَ عَنِّي would like get away from me and like I'm turning away from you. So the man said to him, لَأَصُبَّنَّكَ سَبًّا يَدْخُلُ مَعَكَ الْقَبْرَ I'm going to curse you with such a nasty curse that it will enter the grave with you.

**[57:00]** Like I'm going to give you such a nasty insult that it will follow you for the rest of your life. And Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) responded and said, إِنَّمَا يَدْخُلُ مَعَكَ أَنْتَ وَلَا يَدْخُلُ مَعِي Your curse will enter into your grave with you. It will not enter with me.

**[57:15]** And then the man said to him, لَئِن قُلْتَ لِي كَلِمَةً لَتَسْمَعَنَّ عَشْرَةً If you say to me one word, I'm going to respond with ten. And Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) says, وَلَئِن قُلْتَ لِي عَشْرَةً مَا سَمِعْتَ مِنِّي كَلِمَةً وَاحِدَةً

**[57:32]** And if you say to me ten more words, you're not going to hear a single word from me. Like I'm not engaging with you. Right? Move on and I will keep my way. And the most beautiful form of this type of composure is when you're in a position to respond.

**[57:49]** Right? In a position of leadership, in a position of strength, right? Now this can mean several things because I want to make it as practical as possible. This can mean by the way a parent with a child. This can mean an older sibling with a younger sibling. This can mean an employer with an employee.

**[58:05]** The point is is that you're expected to respond in a certain way and the other person really can't do much about it when you do. That's when the most beautiful manifestation of this trait of Ibadur-Rahman is going to come because what is rahmah except for mercy

**[58:21]** when someone can choose otherwise? Okay. And so there's a narration of Umar ibn Abdul Aziz Rahimahullah Ta'ala. And remember we talked about Umar ibn Abdul Aziz having to unlearn some of the behaviors of power, right? Of wealth, of royalty, and to practice zuhd.

**[58:38]** That one night he went to the masjid and he was with a guard and as he entered into the masjid in darkness, he accidentally tripped over a man. He didn't see the man and he tripped over him. And the man said to him, أَمَجْنُونٌ أَنْتَ? Are you crazy? Umar ibn Abdul Aziz Rahimahullah said to him,

**[58:55]** لَا no. And then he continued on his way. So the guard, he went to him and he basically picked him up and he was about to beat him up. He just talked to Amir al-Mu'mineen that way. You just said to Amir al-Mu'mineen like with that repulsive behavior.

**[59:12]** Are you crazy? And Umar ibn Abdul Aziz, he ran back and he said to him, What are you doing? He said to him, Did you hear what he said to you? He said, إِنَّمَا سَأَلَنِي أَمَجْنُونٌ أَنْتَ? He simply asked me a question. He asked me if I'm crazy. مَا قُلْتُ لَهُ لَا? And I told him I'm not crazy.

**[59:27]** It's over. Move on. Let him go. There's no need for this type of behavior. And so all of us should recognize that at the end of the day, that composure is most beautiful to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala on a regular basis.

**[59:44]** And if you practice it on a regular basis, then when you find yourself, even in the most difficult of moments, you'll be able to choose forgiveness. You'll be able to choose pardon because your natural composure is وَعِبَادُ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الَّذِينَ يَمْشُونَ عَلَى الْأَرْضِ هَوْنًا I end with one narration.

**[59:59]** Because I started with a narration of the Prophet (ﷺ) saying that, you see that man who's lost his mind? I know a word that if he said it, that his anger would dissipate. I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan. And I end with the narration where the Prophet (ﷺ) said

**[1:00:16]** that a strong person is not someone who's able to overcome someone else. But a strong person is الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ a person who controls himself when he's angry. When you maintain the driver's seat.

**[1:00:32]** Because if you allow anger to overtake you, then you move into the passenger seat and you let shaytan drive. And true strength is not overcoming the other person, it's constantly overcoming yourself. Because you have a relationship with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala

**[1:00:49]** and you have a path that you are walking and no one can disrupt your element because your element is not one of this earth. May Allah Azawajal make us from Ibadur-Rahman. May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala allow us to manifest these beautiful qualities. Bi-idhnillahi ta'ala, next week insha'Allah ta'ala,

**[1:01:05]** we'll continue with how that humility is generated. Because some of you are like, how do I even get there? Allah started from the top in terms of externals. Now we'll get into what's the secret ingredient? Like how do I become that person in the first place? And what's the internal work that I have to do to be able to practice this?

**[1:01:20]** وَصَلَّى اللَّهُ وَسَلَّمَ وَبَارَكَ عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ Jazakumullah khairan. وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

## Other Episodes in "Servants of the Most Merciful"
- [Du’a for Marriage and Children | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 10](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/servants-of-the-most-merciful-episode-10-dua-for-marriage-and-children.md)
- [How To Really Revere the Qur’an | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 9](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/how-to-really-revere-the-quran-servants-of-the-most-merciful-episode-9.md)
- [Silence In The Face of Sin | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 8](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/servants-of-the-most-merciful-ep-8-silence-in-the-face-of-sin.md)
- [How To Wipe Out Your Sins | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 7](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/how-to-wipe-out-your-sins-servants-of-the-most-merciful-episode-7.md)
- [Understanding Major Sins in Islam | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 6](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/understanding-major-sins-in-islam-servants-of-the-most-merciful-ep-6.md)
- [What Your Spending Habits Say About You | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 5](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/what-your-spending-habits-say-about-you-servants-ep-5.md)
- [How Believers Protect Themselves from Pride | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 4](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/how-believers-protect-themselves-from-pride-servants-of-the-most-merciful-ep-4.md)
- [Those Who Bow When the World Sleeps | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 3](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/those-who-bow-when-the-world-sleeps-servants-of-the-most-merciful-ep-3.md)
- [Those Who Walk on the Earth Humbly | Servants of the Most Merciful Ep. 1](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/servants-of-the-most-merciful/those-who-walk-on-the-earth-humbly-servants-of-the-most-merciful-ep-1.md)