# Keeping Peace Within Our Homes | Daily Reminders

**Author:** Sh. Abdullah Oduro
**Series:** Reminders
**Published:** 2020-04-22
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/0XtGu1tSFng
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/reminders/keeping-peace-within-our-homes-daily-reminders
**Topics:** Acts of Worship, Sharia

## Description
Sh. Abdullah Oduro reminds us of the meaning of “salaam” and how we can keep the peace within our homes during this difficult time.

## Transcript
**[0:00]** Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you all. The other day I was sitting in my dining area and I was reading and my son walked downstairs into the kitchen, walked in the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, got what he wanted to drink, and then was proceeding to walk back to the stairs. And I stopped him, I said, son,

**[0:18]** I know we know each other and I know you've known me for a long time as a matter of fact, but give me salams. Let's give salamualaikum, give it a try. Assalamualaikum. He says, well, Assalamualaikum. And I know he's saying that because I already know my dad, we know each other. I mean, I'm just saying Salamualaikum. I'm so used to saying it, but we have to realize that this word

**[0:39]** Assalamualaikum is a du'a or it's a khabar, it's news about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala being Assalam. Therefore, he gives the peace to other individuals, other forms of creation, or we ask him to give us the Salam upon you. So when I say Assalamualaikum, may peace be upon you. I know all of us want

**[1:00]** peace in our households now being with this COVID-19 and even outside of the COVID-19 virus era timeframe. Do we want peace for our family members? We may want peace in our households, but do we want peace internally for each family member that each family member that we have,

**[1:17]** we want them to have this tranquility and ease, no panic in their hearts, or they have enough ease in their minds and their hearts to try their best to take the means in easing the panic or fear

**[1:33]** within other family members. Assalamualaikum. You know, when we wake up, we say that to our family members and we have the intention, it is a du'a. It's a du'a you're making for them. You're asking Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala to bless them with peace and tranquility. There's a

**[1:52]** beautiful hadith of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam on a tirmidhi. It's narrated by a tirmidhi and it's hadithun hasan inshallah. Where Uqbat ibn Amir, he came to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and he asked him about fitna. If there is a time of fitna, what do we do? Now with the

**[2:09]** COVID-19 in our households, there may be fitna. You know, there may be war not with guns and not with grenades and not with fighting each other with knives and weapons, but it's a different kind of fitna. It may be a family member that you never wanted to speak to. This time you have to

**[2:25]** speak to them. There may be some tension that's between you all and when you all walk past each other in the kitchen, it may start. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam gave this advice to Uqbat ibn Amir regarding fitna between people, but it's something general that we can use for

**[2:42]** the linguistic meaning of fitna because it takes place in any type of trouble that you may face on a communal level or even amongst a group of people. The first thing he said was he said, hold your tongue. Hold your tongue from what? From saying things that could bring the fire,

**[3:04]** make it hotter and make it bigger, right? That could put some gas on the fire and make it worse. Don't say something to your family member that you know will push their buttons. It may be the words that you use and a lot of times some of us think that we're slick. It may be the way that we

**[3:23]** say the words to that person because we know if we say it in that way, it'll just trigger something that will start an argument or it'll just trigger something that it may not start an argument, but it won't bring any salam to their hearts or to their minds. You know, brothers and sisters,

**[3:41]** not talking about an Islam, I'm talking about siblings. Many things that we say, especially the older siblings to the younger ones, we may say hurtful things to our younger brother or younger sister and may not even think twice about it, but it has a long lasting effect on how they live as

**[4:00]** human beings in the future. Now that you're home so many times, long periods of time throughout the day, if you're sitting and you're playing video games or watching a movie, watch what you say to one another. Be considerate of the other individual. Think about if it was said to me, would I like it

**[4:18]** or not? This is what is very important for us to watch what we say. You know, Mu'adh ibn Jabal hadith in Tirmidhi. It's a long hadith. Mu'adh ibn Jabal, where the Prophet ﷺ was telling him about abuwab al khair. He said, هل أدلك على أبواب الخير؟

**[4:34]** And he was asking, should I tell you not the good things, the doors to goodness? And then he mentioned some of the pillars of Islam. But then at the very end of it, he mentions, وهل أدلك على ملاك ذلك كله؟ أو أدلك بملاك ذلك كله؟

**[4:51]** He said, shall I not tell you about that which controls and owns all of these things, being these actions that we do from fasting, from prayer, from sadaqah, from charity, which he mentioned earlier. And Mu'adh ibn Jabal, he mentioned the Prophet ﷺ

**[5:07]** أخذ باللسان فقال كف عليك هذا أو أمسك عليك هذا He said, hold this. Have control of it. Take it over. Do not let it overpower you. كف عليك هذا He took his tongue and he told him that.

**[5:24]** And then Mu'adh ibn Jabal asked a question. يا نبي الله وإنا لم أخذون بما نتكلم به He said, and will we be held accountable for what we say? The Prophet ﷺ said, تكلتك أموك يا معاد

**[5:41]** He made, it's an Arab expression to show that, oh, you've been neglectful. Wake up. Think about this, Mu'adh. Then he makes a statement. He asked him a rhetorical question. وهل يكب الناس على وجوههم وعلى مناخره إلا حصائد ألسنتهم

**[5:59]** And will mankind not be thrown in the fire on their faces and on their noses except what their tongues have reaped? Reaped, meaning that you may have said something consistently to someone over a period of years, that verbal abuse that has a long lasting effect on your children.

**[6:20]** And then you take them to a psychiatrist or psychologist. What's wrong with them? There's something wrong with him. But when we dig deep or when the psychiatrist or psychologist or neighbor digs deep and looks and sees that it was the way you were speaking to them, this time that you're home with them,

**[6:39]** it may intensify. So be aware of what you say. The second thing the Prophet ﷺ said, وَأَلْزِمْ بَيْتِكَ أَوَالْيَسَعْكَ بَيْتُكَ He said, and stay home. Looking at the COVID-19 now, we see that it is something that we're ordered to stay home,

**[6:56]** rather from the shari'ah. It is from an Islamic objective of preserving the nafs, preserving the souls, the bodies, the health, and even wealth to stay home. As SubhanAllah, the opposite is to be in the masjid to the best of your ability

**[7:14]** and be with the community. Now, the obligation is to stay home, particularly depending where you're at. But generally, we can say generically, it's recommended to stay home. The Prophet ﷺ said, وَالْيَسَعْكَ بَيْتُكَ To stay home and stay away from the fitna.

**[7:29]** Even scholars had different degree. Is it better to have uzla, to be away from the people in general? But we know with other proofs that depending on the situation. But in any case, now with the COVID-19, it's important for us to stay home during times of fitna,

**[7:47]** to where it could be pandemonium. And thirdly, the Prophet ﷺ said, وَبْكِي عَلَى خَطِيَتِكَ And to cry over your sins. Now that you are home, please look at this as an opportunity. Do not look at it as everyone is destroyed.

**[8:06]** Do not say with your tongue at the dinner table, everyone is destroyed. The world's coming to an end. We're all going to die. We're all going to get sick. What are we going to do with a look of worry on your face, especially the leaders of the household? Do not show worry and panic.

**[8:23]** Rather, when you are alone and you are at home, look at your mistakes and cry over your mistakes. So use this time that you have, the second form of advice, to implement the third. When you're at home alone now, think of what you've done.

**[8:42]** Evaluate yourself. Have a purpose and let that purpose push you every single day to be humble. Cry over your sins. This was an imperative verb. Wabki, ibki, cry over your sins.

**[9:00]** And if it's difficult for you to cry, sit alone and ask why. At least have some attachment to the one that created you intimately with him. Recall the mistakes that you've made that day and ask Allah to forgive you with a severe form of sorrow in your heart.

**[9:19]** Doesn't mean that if you don't cry, you don't have a soft heart. What it is expressing here is for you to express the need and love and deprivation of Allah's mercy, to where that mercy will be exemplified in keeping you away from fitna

**[9:37]** individually within yourself, with the battle between yourself and with your family. May Allah Subhana wa ta'ala make us of those that watch our tongues. May He make us of those that stay home protecting ourselves and others. As our civil responsibility.

**[9:54]** And may He make us of those that cry over our sins with reflection, redemption for renewal. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Thank you.

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