# When You Feel Conflicted About a Hadith | Real Talk ft. Dr. Tesneem Alkiek

**Author:** Dr. Tesneem Alkiek
**Series:** Real Talk Series
**Published:** 2026-01-28
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/Q54bcd764Wc
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/real-talk-series/when-you-feel-conflicted-about-a-hadith-real-talk-ft-dr-tesneem-alkiek
**Topics:** Allah, Faith, Family & Community, Marriage

## Description
The Prophet ﷺ communicated with compassion, and that alone should be enough to know that his words were never meant to belittle or degrade others. So how do we react to statements attributed to the Prophet ﷺ that appear to do just that—especially when they seem to target women? In this episode of...

## Chapters
- 0:00 Introduction: The Voice of Women in Islam
- 0:47 Exploring Hadith: Asma bint Yazid's Story
- 3:00 Scientific Evidence and Hadith Interpretation
- 5:02 Contextualizing Hadith: Women and Hellfire
- 14:37 Self-Reflection and Differentiation
- 15:10 Understanding Context in Religious Texts
- 17:28 Gender and Misinterpretation in Hadith
- 21:40 Practical Takeaways and Building Resilience

## Transcript
**[0:00]** The Voice of a Woman

**[0:15]** The voice of a woman is something that needs to be covered. Tell me you haven't heard that before. Of course I have. When I was a young political journalist, I used to be a radio presenter. And I was told that I was doing something wrong because my voice was something that had to be covered.

**[0:30]** And you probably thought it was a hadith. Yeah. This is exactly why we need to talk about this. The Voice of a Woman

**[0:47]** Have you ever heard a hadith and thought, nope? I was just recently reading the hadith of Asma bint Yazid. This is a very famous hadith where Asma herself is known as the orator of the women. She would complain to the Prophet on behalf of the women on multiple occasions.

**[1:04]** And so she gained this title. So she used to keep the women in check? No, she didn't keep the women in check. She would represent them in front of the Prophet. So one day she's going to the Prophet and she has this particular complaint on behalf of not herself only but of all women.

**[1:20]** And she goes to the Prophet, he's sitting with a group of men and she says, Ya Rasulallah, like, O Prophet of God. The summary of the hadith is that, you know, you men have the ability to more easily go on hajj, engage in jihad, do sort of like all of these grandiose, what feel like grandiose acts of worship, definitely public acts of worship.

**[1:40]** And, you know, we're always occupied with our responsibilities at home, whether it's with the home itself, with our children, our families. And essentially she was conveying this sentiment that it's not fair. And the Prophet responds and reassures her that someone in her position will receive the same reward as a man who goes out and does this stuff.

**[2:00]** Now for the longest time this hadith, it is weak, right? And I would just bank on that. I was like, this hadith is weak. I don't understand why, like, everyone talks about it. And it would make me very uncomfortable because it sort of like reinforced this idea that women stay home, men are out.

**[2:15]** So what is the message of the hadith that women get as much thawab if they're in their house? Yes. So women get the same reward, right? When you're doing the busy work that you're doing your day to day, right? And I was just like, but then that just reinforces like that's what a woman needs to be doing. Like that's her role, right?

**[2:30]** And so it always makes me very uncomfortable. When I got old and I had kids and I'm at home and I'm thinking to myself, you know what's really, really nice? That I'm here doing these things anyway. I'm at home taking care of my kids. It's really nice that I get the same reward as someone who's going out and about and doing more grandiose, you know, what we perceive to be grandiose acts of worship.

**[2:51]** And suddenly this hadith was something I really began to appreciate. There has, and this is of course not the first time, and I'm not the only person to experience this, right? It's actually interesting. There is the famous hadith of the fly. Have you heard of it? So this hadith where the Prophet (ﷺ) says that if a fly falls into your cup, dip it entirely because on one wing there's a disease and one wing there's a cure.

**[3:14]** Now Muslims at the turn of the 20th century are grappling with modernity. Grappling with like what their identity is in this whole new world, right? And they come across, some Muslims come across this hadith of the fly and think to themselves like it's not really scientific.

**[3:31]** It's kind of embarrassing that we would associate this with our tradition that the Prophet would say something like this. Like why would he say something like this? And so some Muslim writers at the time say, you know what, let's not take this hadith and in fact maybe we should just challenge all of hadith.

**[3:48]** This is kind of embarrassing to us, right? That's sort of their response to it. And they did, right? Some Muslim writers end up calling for this public rejection of a hadith like this and similar hadith, right? Of course now, a few centuries down the road, we find that there's scientific evidence for a fly to have a cure on one side and a disease on the other, right?

**[4:08]** And so like to me, my experience for certain hadith have been like there's time that helps and there's also evidence that you might not be exposed to and understanding of the world you might not be exposed to that totally reshapes your understanding of certain hadith.

**[4:26]** So then do we just assume that the problem is us? I particularly pursued a PhD in Islamic studies because I had questions on women, on hadith, right? This is like what I've dedicated my life to, right? And I encourage every single person to always ask questions and to probe.

**[4:41]** But I think we need to reevaluate how we're doing the probing and ask better questions. So can you walk me through some of the steps you take when trying to decipher hadith? So number one, I think this is the most important. You got to learn how the Prophet (ﷺ) spoke.

**[4:56]** How he spoke to others, how he treated others. It makes the biggest difference. Let's look at a case study of a hadith, right? The Prophet (ﷺ), this comes in multiple different iterations and versions. But the collective idea is that the Prophet (ﷺ) says, I was shown the hellfire and I saw that the majority of the inhabitants of the hellfire were women.

**[5:15]** Why? Because they curse a lot and they are ungrateful. What makes you uncomfortable about the hadith? We're just all going to hell. We're all just going to hell. What makes my initial discomfort with this hadith is that it's all women.

**[5:34]** Like, it's not all, like, the Prophet never says all women. But he's talking about women in a categorical nature. Like, women are just like this, right? That's the impression that I get. And, you know, I think it's fascinating because the first, like, let's talk about what makes us uncomfortable and go from there.

**[5:51]** That needs to be contextualized because I think in our society today, we have a problem with anything that's called, like, essentialism, right? Essentialist. What's that? When, for example, you create a gendered stereotype. The idea that you would categorize people, any people, whether it's a gender

**[6:09]** or, like, a group of people under the same idea is oppressive. Like, it's boxing you into something, right? I'm not like every other woman. I'm not like every other woman. We have this, like, social, I mean, perhaps this is universal, right?

**[6:24]** But in our particular society, it's even, like, more pronounced. We have this desire to be like, no, no, no, we're all unique. Everyone's exceptional. You can't just come out and say, like, all women are like this, right? So there's that discomfort, and now it's, like, compounded by the fact that I really, my society tells me, like, you really don't want to ever be grouped

**[6:41]** with one another, right? So let's talk about that, right? And then let's talk about the fact that the Prophet (ﷺ), how did he talk to people in general? And there's a beautiful hadith where Aisha (رضي الله عنها) says, it was his prophetic habit.

**[6:57]** So this was out of his, like, good character that he would not single someone out, that he, word gets to him that XYZ people are, you know, doing something that's bad, and instead of calling someone, every single person by name, like, hey, don't do that, hey, don't do that,

**[7:14]** he would generalize it in order not to single people out. He was famous for saying, ma baal aqwaam, like, what's, you know, what's up with this group of people who do XYZ? In one hadith, you know, what's up with this group of men who divorce their wives and then take them back and divorce their wives

**[7:30]** and take them back, like, what are you doing here, right? And so you start to realize, like, okay, wait, the Prophet (ﷺ), would speak in what is known as, like, sighat al-mubalagha, this hyperbole. And he would do it to make you not feel bad about yourself.

**[7:45]** Like, word gets to him (ﷺ), that some women are ungrateful or are cursing too much, and he comes and generalizes it in order to not single women out, right? And you think about, by the way, interesting context of the hadith.

**[8:00]** Do you know when it was said, like, the time of year? No. The hadith is narrated in one version of it that he's saying it on the day of Eid. Wow. It's a day of, like, can you imagine the Prophet of God (ﷺ), coming up, like, to women? And condemning all of us. And condemning you, like, all of you are going to hell.

**[8:15]** Like, this is a day of Eid. The Prophet (ﷺ) doesn't talk to people like that on a regular basis. Yeah. Let alone on the day of Eid, right? So this is important information, like, how did the Prophet (ﷺ) speak to other people? So tone is everything. Tone is everything, right? And it's interesting because it's not even the Prophet (ﷺ) that employs this, like, hyperbole.

**[8:31]** You even see it in the Quran, right? The hypocrites, all of them are like this. The disbelievers, all of them are like this. The Bedouins are all like this. And then what does Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) say just a second after that? Laysu sawa. They're not all the same, right? Or wa min al-a'rab

**[8:47]** And from the Bedouins are those who believe and do good and, you know, are striving the path of Allah (سبحانه وتعالى). And you think to yourself, like, okay, this is a general practice of the Prophet (ﷺ), and it's found in the Quran as well. So now we've got the context. It makes us uncomfortable that there's this generalization about women.

**[9:03]** Because you feel attacked. You feel attacked, right? It's like, I'm inherently prone. Okay, that's it, I'm a woman. I'm grouped into this category. But now you're like, wait a minute. Take a step back. The Prophet talked in categories, in generalities, very commonly.

**[9:19]** And was it only women? And it wasn't only women, right? We have various examples of men, and this is not even the Prophet (ﷺ) censoring them. Coming in the Quran, we have various ayat. There's a whole surah, Surah Al-Jumu'ah, right?

**[9:34]** At the end of the surah, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) censors these men, wa idha ra'aw tijaratan aw lahwan. When they see, like, they're in Jumu'ah, there's business happening, there's something fun going on, whatever the case is, they just disperse, like, the Prophet (ﷺ) is still on the minbar, and they're like, we're out, right?

**[9:50]** And this ayah comes and criticizes them, like, what are you doing here, right? You have that, and you have, for example, the men during the Battle of Uhud. The Prophet (ﷺ) very, very explicitly tells them, listen, go stand up at your posts on top of this hill, whatever you do, until I give you the green light, do not leave your posts.

**[10:09]** They get the impression the war's over, and the battle's over, and they see other Muslims collecting spoils of war, and they rush to it, despite the Prophet (ﷺ) giving very, very clear instructions, do not leave your posts. They left their posts, right? And then there's an ayah in the Quran that comes back and criticizes them for it.

**[10:25]** You know what I find fascinating is that, have you ever been told, like, you don't ever walk into a class, and someone, you're hearing, like, you men, you're all blinded by, you know, capitalism, and your pursuit for this dunya, and you're inherently- And you're censored by the Quran.

**[10:40]** And you're, yeah, like, God talks about you men. No, right? So that's important, because, like, the problem is there. I'm not denying the fact that this hadith is taken out of context one too many times, right? And I find it ironic that the same approach, whether it's through hadith or Quran,

**[10:59]** where men in general are criticized, that's not used to describe men as inherently prone to being blinded by capitalistic pursuit, right? So I think it's important because we don't do that in other situations, and that's something that we should not.

**[11:15]** It's illogical, really, to be doing that in this case. And so, are there any other steps, besides looking at the tone of the Prophet (ﷺ), that I could take, or that you take, in trying to understand hadith? You know, step number two really is to differentiate between your negative experiences and the hadith itself.

**[11:35]** Because chances are, if you're like me, probably like you, the first time we heard this hadith, or the most frequently we heard this hadith, is in the context of, you women, you're always, always cursing. You're always ungrateful. You're just, you're born like that.

**[11:50]** You're a bunch of ungrateful. You're so ungrateful, right? And it's just, and the problem is, again, it's used to describe you as inherently prone to this sin. And that's simply not true, right? It's like, oh, obviously she did that, she's a woman. It's just like, and that's sort of, like, we have that negative experience,

**[12:06]** and it's real, and it happens, and it's unfortunate. But it takes, like, we need to put that effort in to distance ourselves. Like, okay, wait, let's, no, no, no, let's think about this hadith on its own. Take it at face value, right? We are separating our own negative experience, our own negative human experience,

**[12:22]** and the words of the Prophet (ﷺ). By the way, I think it's fascinating. I don't think we talk about this enough. As early as the time of the companions, like, Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه) was asked, so does this mean, like, there's more men in heaven? Like, because think about the implication.

**[12:37]** On the back of this hadith. Particularly about this hadith, like, because if you're saying the majority of hellfire is women, then can we go ahead and comfortably say that the majority of heaven is men? And as early as the time of Abu Hurayrah, it's like, no, no, well, that's not the logical conclusion.

**[12:52]** In fact, he argued that there are more women in heaven. And you have other scholars after, right? Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn Hajar, Qadi 'Iyad, all of these scholars from, like, different schools of law and thought, you can still argue that there are more women in heaven because

**[13:07]** there's another hadith that says there's going to be a point in time where for every man born, there will be 50 women, right? So they use other ways, other, like, hadith to offer context. The point is that they argued, no, no, there's more women in heaven as well.

**[13:25]** And I think that's important. So there was no issue with actually questioning or thinking through that hadith? Yeah, it wasn't like, don't even question this hadith and this is how it's done. Like, for hundreds of years, it was like, okay, well, let's actually talk about it. Let's talk about what this means, what this implies, right? Are women inherently prone to hellfire?

**[13:40]** And, you know, like, those are the types of conversations that they're having. So I think that's important. I think we need to separate. And when you do that, and you can start thinking about this hadith a little more clearly. You gotta ask yourself the question, like, was it valid criticism at the end of the day?

**[13:57]** And I think that's something beautiful about our tradition, is that there's this really good balance between what's called targhib and tarhib, like, inspiring with hope and inspiring with fear, right? But we only want to hear the good stuff. Exactly, we only want to hear the good stuff, right? And, tell me about my rights, like, tell me about jannah, I want to hear about, like, what I'm going to be rewarded for.

**[14:15]** But tarhib is really important. The idea of, like, motivating someone with fear is important. And this hadith, as the Prophet (ﷺ), in so many other hadith, motivated with fear, reminding people of Allah's punishment and our sins and things that we need to do.

**[14:30]** The Prophet (ﷺ), you know, is in a way warning us of our tongues and of our ingratitude. And so maybe we can take it like that, right? And ask ourselves, well, do I have this problem? Right? Maybe I need to focus on this. Maybe I need to be better in this regard.

**[14:46]** And now the hadith is a totally different conversation. We're not talking about, like, how it makes me feel and sort of these expectations, but, no, what can I practically learn and grow from the words of the Prophet (ﷺ)? And so, once I differentiate or once you make that differentiation, what do you do next?

**[15:04]** Let's call it step three. And that is understanding the bigger picture, the context, whatever you want to call it. And I'll start with an example that's not a hadith. Every time I read this ayah, I happen to smirk. It's the ayah in Surah Yusuf. It's an iconic moment.

**[15:20]** Prophet Yusuf (عليه السلام) is being seduced by the king's wife Zuleikha. She locks the door, tries to seduce him, and essentially he refuses. Right? She gets caught, they get caught, and now they're in a rush to sort of defend themselves. And the family member that's there, who's arbitrating, trying to figure out what happened,

**[15:39]** concludes that, you know what, it was actually her that started it. Yusuf, like, out of banhada, you know, sort of turned a blind eye, let's pretend that it didn't happen. And reflecting on her actions, on specifically Zuleikha's actions, comments, inna kayda kunna 'adhim, that, oh, you women, your plotting is a great plotting.

**[16:00]** Tell me you haven't heard this ayah. Yeah, you scheming bunch. You scheming bunch, right? How many times have I heard the ayah, inna kayda kunna 'adhim, and like, totally removed from context with this assumption, go ahead. With generalization, you all like that.

**[16:16]** Oh, you women. My God, you women. You're all a bunch of scheming, like, scheming bunch, right? And you're just thinking, like, I hear it, I'm like, because the verse in the Quran is plural, it's affirmative, like, it's, right? You women are like that.

**[16:32]** And I'm thinking about the context. And I'm like, this is fascinating to me. So, you're going to take this ayah out of context to talk about the wife of the king. Did you miss the part where his brothers tried to kill him and throw him in a well? Like, let's reverse it all.

**[16:48]** Right. And Ya'qub, the father of Yusuf (عليه السلام), comes back, and before he even tells his brothers of his dream, he says, don't do that, yakidu laka kayda, right? Because they will, they might try to plot you, this plotting, right?

**[17:04]** So, he's using the exact same wording to describe the brothers, like, watch out, they could plot, what did they do? They plotted, right? They threw him in a well, right? And it's just, to me, it's so, it's hilarious, right? Because then it's like, well, you women are all like this, but what happened to the, you know, the gendered element to it?

**[17:21]** So, I think it's really important, like, let's focus on the context. Let's figure out the bigger picture here at play, right? I'll give another example, I'll use an example from hadith, right? The Prophet (ﷺ) says, al-mar'atu 'awrah, that a woman is something that should be covered,

**[17:37]** idha kharajat istashrafaha al-shaytan. When she goes out, she's accompanied by shaytan. First thoughts when you hear the hadith, no context. You just, you know, you devilish, like, you know, Satan's with you whenever you step out of your house. Women are devilish, you're always accompanied by Satan,

**[17:53]** you're, like, causing always no good, right? There have been different ways scholars have understood it, but generally, it's, well, a woman should cover when she goes out, because when she goes out, Satan makes her, not her, but Satan makes her more alluring, right? That's that, okay, interesting.

**[18:09]** But let's figure out, so there's still that connection between, like, a woman and Satan that makes me uncomfortable. Like, why is it that we're always associated with the devil? Think about different contexts here. Let's try to, like, broaden the picture. There's another hadith in which the Prophet (ﷺ) says,

**[18:24]** that the first look is permissible, meaning if you're looking at the opposite gender, the first time you look at them, halal, right? The second time, it's only, you're, like, looking, you're, like, oh, like, that's a good-looking man or woman, right? That is not permissible. And it's so fascinating because the way scholars explain,

**[18:40]** like, Ibn al-Qayyim, for example, a very famous scholar, who comes out and says, that second look, and he's referring to the man here, when you take that second look at a woman, that is an arrow shot by Satan, right? Hmm, that's interesting. So basically, now, Ibn al-Qayyim is talking about a man's actions,

**[18:58]** like, you doing that look, that was shot by Satan. So you start to see, like, the affiliation between Satan and actions in general, bad actions in general. Is it a gendered thing? Hmm, I don't really think so, right? So then you wouldn't feel attacked, right?

**[19:14]** You won't feel attacked, right? It's like the assumption, because again, unfortunately, there's that misuse of the hadith where it's like, you see, you women, you guys are simply devils, right? That's absolutely not the case. Then you would say that about men, you would say that in so many, you would say this about human beings. Guess what?

**[19:29]** The Prophet (ﷺ), he's out with his wife at night, in one hadith (ﷺ). In some narrations, it's Safiyyah, his wife. And he sees some men passing by and he stops them, he's like, because she's entirely covered, clarifies, by the way, this is my wife, Safiyyah.

**[19:44]** And they're like, whoa, like, Prophet of God, we would never assume anything like less of you. Because they would just assume she's a random woman, not his wife. Yeah, in fear that he might have, they might have assumed she was a random woman and not his wife, right? And he explains that, inna al-shaytana yajri min al-insani majra al-dam.

**[20:00]** That Satan flows in you just like your blood flows. Have you ever heard anyone come out and say, like, you are inherently, as a human being, inherently prone to devilish acts? No, it's just like a cautious thing, like. Yeah, it's cautious, like, okay, fine, the devil can, you know, is always there

**[20:18]** to potentially influence your actions for the negative. And you start to see these connections between using shaytan almost like as an allegory, right? That is association with fitnah, with struggle, with testing, with sin. And it's not making, again, this like, sort of like gendered assumption or.

**[20:37]** Or attack. Yeah, or an attack, of course not, right? And guess what, it's so funny, because the example of Battle of Uhud, right? The same men who fled during the Battle of Uhud. What exactly does Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) say about them in the Quran? That when they fled, innama istazallahum al-shaytan.

**[20:53]** It was Satan that made them slip, right? You've never heard, and we would never say, that these companions, right? Oh, they must have been, you know, of course they're inherently influenced by the devil, therefore, like, they're always going to be prone.

**[21:08]** No, none of this stuff, right? And so I think it's important, because in this situation, you can take a hadith, which face value, again, can make you very immediately uncomfortable, and think to yourself, wait a minute, how does even the concept of shaytan, of devil, of fitnah, like, how are they used in other contexts,

**[21:25]** in other ahadith? And then suddenly it's like, this makes sense, that just as Satan can influence any human being, and can influence men, of course he can influence, you know, women, and have that effect on others. And so, now you're starting to understand this hadith in a completely different light. Tasneem, I'm going to put it to you. What if it's easier to just tap out?

**[21:43]** Why not just avoid or reject the hadiths that make you uncomfortable, and move on? This is exactly the sort of instinct we're taught today. I'll give you, totally outside of hadith. Think about how, for the past generation, really,

**[22:00]** we taught ourselves and everyone around us that something makes you uncomfortable, just cut it out of your life. If someone makes you uncomfortable, you cancel them. If someone's toxic, out, right? Anything, any experience, any person that really pushes you,

**[22:18]** why deal with it? There's no point. That's been sort of attitude altogether. Low and, go ahead. And then we ended up all being a lonely bunch. We're all a lonely bunch, and lo and behold, like, there's so many mental health issues that come. Because it's unnatural.

**[22:34]** It's unnatural, but do you understand the level of resilience? And now we're starting to recognize it. No, no, actually, everyone's coming out and saying now, well, turns out, it's actually very good for your mental health when you build resilience, and you learn how to deal with emotions that are difficult. Deal with relationships that are difficult.

**[22:49]** And so now the tide is shifting, and people are saying, well, well, actually, people who are difficult in your life, if you learn how to deal with them, that makes you a stronger person. That gives you better mental health. And it's the same attitude we need to have with hadith. It's very easy to toss out hadith. Anyone can do it, right?

**[23:06]** But the skill set to be able to approach a hadith that might make you uncomfortable, and to think, and to pause, and really build the tools to understand it, will make you far stronger. And more importantly, you lose hadith,

**[23:22]** and you lose out on the opportunity to learn about the greatest man to walk this earth (ﷺ). You would never learn the stories of how he dealt with women and how he dealt with his wives (عليه السلام), right? One of my favorite stories is one in which Aisha (رضي الله عنها),

**[23:37]** she sees the Prophet (ﷺ). She sees him in a good mood. You know, when you see your parent, your sibling, someone you want a favor from in a good mood, you're like, totally taking advantage of this moment. They're in a good mood, right? I got them, yeah. Yeah, I got them. She sees the Prophet (ﷺ) in a good mood, and she's like, hey, ya Rasulallah, you wanna make du'a for me?

**[23:54]** And the Prophet (ﷺ) makes a beautiful du'a. He says, Allahumma ghfir li Aisha. Oh Allah, forgive Aisha. ma taqaddama min dhanbiha wa ma ta'akhkhar. What she did in the past and what she'll do in the future. wa ma asarrat wa ma a'lanat. What she did publicly and what she did privately. And Aisha (رضي الله عنها), she hears this,

**[24:11]** and she starts laughing and laughing, laughing so hard that her head falls into the lap of the Prophet (ﷺ). She's just overjoyed. She's overjoyed, and the Prophet (ﷺ) is smiling. Just think of the dynamic of that relationship. The Prophet (ﷺ) is smiling, and he says, what made you so happy? And she's like, are you kidding me?

**[24:26]** Like, this du'a, right? I'm in, I'm good. The Prophet of God just made du'a for all my sins to be forgiven. This is phenomenal. And he says, you know, Aisha, that's the du'a I make for my ummah every single salah. Every single salah. You can never capture that type of love

**[24:44]** that the Prophet (ﷺ) has with us if you don't have hadith. I have goosebumps. Like, what does that tell you about what he wants for you? This is the man that's going around and criticizing people in a condescending way? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Is he judging you?

**[24:59]** No. No, it's far beyond. He loves you so much, and he's going out of his way every single salah to make du'a for you, right? Like, you can't learn that any other way except through the hadith of the Prophet (ﷺ). And so, we're the ones who just lose in the process, I think. Like, we have so much to gain from hadith,

**[25:17]** and those that make us uncomfortable, we have even more to gain by learning the skill set to get past that discomfort. That's amazing, because now that I'm thinking about it, how much would we lose if we just disengaged? Exactly. Tasneem, in short, what are some practical takeaways? So I think there's two really important ones.

**[25:33]** Number one, to not be so reactionary. And I know that's hard, and I know that's hard because social media literally thrives off of, like, your live-streamed reaction. But I think we need to resist that, and just put some time between ourselves and whatever we're struggling with, right?

**[25:49]** You know, I think I mentioned, like, this is why I pursued my PhD. For some of the hadith that I was struggling with, I think it took probably years before I found that answer, right? And it was just like a quote from a scholar 500 years ago about it, and it was just like that one answer I needed.

**[26:07]** After years of studying, I thought to myself, like, that's it, that's all I wanted to hear. Now it all makes sense, right? But that can't happen if you don't have time to bake, like, let it bake and understand, like, what could this hadith possibly mean, and find answers.

**[26:22]** So not being reactionary is very, very important. It's just a practice that I think we all need to start, you know, doing. The second, of course, which is very important, is learning more. And listen, I get it. Most people are not gonna be interested in learning about fiqh and hadith criticism

**[26:38]** and all the other things that you would need to get, like, this full context. But everyone can and should learn about the character of the Prophet (ﷺ). Everyone can and should learn about, like, how incredible of a human being he was. Because once you know that, and once you're confident,

**[26:54]** like, the way he treated others, the way he talked to others, like, that leaves, in your room, no doubt for how he would talk to you as a woman. No doubt for how he would treat others, right? And that's incredibly inspiring. It'll get you past any obstacle, right?

**[27:12]** And so these are very practical, I think, and something that we can all and should start today. Because when you have that understanding of the Prophet (ﷺ), that holistic understanding, you're good to go. Like, you are really good to go. Tasneem, you've given us a lot to think about, because it's really hard not to be reactionary.

**[27:30]** So, have you heard these hadith before and the context? What did you do to push through some of the discomfort you may have had with some hadith? And how did you find your voice?

**[27:45]** Find out more at yaqeen.com

## Other Episodes in "Real Talk Series"
- [Build Your Relationship With the Qur’an Before Ramadan | Real Talk ft. Dr. Tesneem Alkiek](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/real-talk-series/build-your-relationship-with-the-quran-before-ramadan-real-talk-ft-dr-tesneem-alkiek.md)
- [Tips for When You're Struggling With Your Faith | Real Talk ft. Dr. Tesneem Alkiek](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/real-talk-series/tips-for-when-youre-struggling-with-your-faith-real-talk-ft-dr-tesneem-alkiek.md)
- [Are We Becoming Too Self-Centered? | Real Talk ft. Tesneem Alkiek](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/real-talk-series/are-we-becoming-too-self-centered-real-talk-ft-tesneem-alkiek.md)
- [The Healthy Way to Think About Feminism | Real Talk ft. Tesneem Alkiek](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/real-talk-series/the-healthy-way-to-think-about-feminism-real-talk-ft-tesneem-alkiek.md)
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- [The Social Media Spiral | Real Talk ft. Dr. Tesneem Alkiek](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/real-talk-series/the-social-media-spiral-real-talk-ft-dr-tesneem-alkiek.md)
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- [What if it's Not a Gender War? | Real Talk ft. Dr. Tesneem Alkiek](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/real-talk-series/what-if-its-not-a-gender-war-real-talk-ft-dr-tesneem-alkiek.md)
- [Why is Marriage So Complicated? | SERIES PREMIERE | Real Talk ft. Dr. Tesneem Alkiek](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/real-talk-series/why-is-marriage-so-complicated-series-premiere-real-talk-ft-dr-tesneem-alkiek.md)
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- [Trailer | Real Talk with Dr. Tesneem Alkiek and Qaanitah Hunter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/real-talk-series/trailer-real-talk-with-dr-tesneem-alkiek-and-qaanitah-hunter.md)