# Getting Past A Grudge | Midnight Majlis

**Author:** Dr. Omar Suleiman
**Series:** Midnight Majlis
**Published:** 2025-03-29
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/-kvh7nsxS0E
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/getting-past-a-grudge-midnight-majlis
**Topics:** Acts of Worship, Sharia

## Description
The end of Ramadan is a time to redouble your efforts. Pray more, fast more—give more. Think you’re not proud? That might be your biggest problem. Dr. Omar Suleiman and Sh. Yaser Birjas dive into Ibn Hazm (rh)’s sharp reflections on how pride disguises itself, distorts your self-image, and...

## Transcript
**[0:00]** As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Wa alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen. Wa sallallahu wa sallam wa baraka ala nabiyyina Muhammadin wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam tasliman katheeran amma ba'd. Welcome you back to the last session and the final session of this Ramadan from Valley Ranch Islamic Center in Irving, Texas.

**[0:18]** The beautiful majlis and beautiful late-night khatirah with Shaykh Omar Suleiman. As we cover and study together the book of Imam Ibn Hazm, rahimahullah wa ta'ala. What a beautiful journey in human nature, Shaykh, and human psychology, subhanAllah. We had gone through with Imam Ibn Hazm, rahimahullah wa ta'ala, in which he talks about, you know, what should be your major concern, how you live your life.

**[0:41]** You know, dealing with people and trials and your own personal traits and being brave enough to admit to yourself your faults and how to fix them. All of this, subhanAllah, until we come right now towards the end of that chapter. And I noticed, Shaykh, as we were going through the points here, that Imam Ibn Hazm seems to be towards the end of the book.

**[1:00]** This book wasn't, probably was not supposed to be an actual academic book. So you don't see the same academic structure that you have in his books when he talks about theology, he talks about usul and fiqh and so on.

**[1:16]** It's more like reflections. The same book is a reflection. Towards the end, he seems to be just adding whatever comes through his mind, he's just writing it down immediately. So we're going to see maybe some different points about different topics as he starts kind of coming to the end of that journey with us, inshallah wa tabarak wa ta'ala.

**[1:34]** So, Shaykh, I mean, what a beautiful journey with this book, mashallah. Allah bless you. You chose it, by the way. So may Allah reward you for choosing it. Alhamdulillah, I think we all found it very beneficial. I hope so, inshallah wa tabarak wa ta'ala. Ibn Hazm, again, for me, he lived way ahead of his time.

**[1:54]** And he lived a thousand years ago, but he was speaking to us today about how to live your life, what to worry about. And even though it has been a thousand years ago, but you can tell from the book that human nature never changes. By the way, that's the definition of tawfiq, of being granted divine success in something.

**[2:15]** That your efforts are blessed to a point that they end up going far more than what you expected of them. And I think that that's a lesson for all of us, especially as we're planting seeds, bismillah wa ta'ala, and whatever that looks like in such a time of turmoil, that if we have tawfiq, if Allah azawajal guides our way, if He guides our paths,

**[2:35]** then the things that we're doing will have benefits that we can't even capture right now. And so that's the definition of having your efforts blessed, that something that you wrote a thousand years ago is still being found relevant and diagnosing future situations that you did not even encounter in your time.

**[2:51]** But because these scholars were digging deep, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave them more depth, and Allah azawajal unlocked certain blessings for them. So we ask Allah to give us tawfiq in all of our efforts, to guide our efforts and give us success in our efforts.

**[3:07]** So bismillah, let's begin with that. Sure. So I want to introduce this part, you know, in the capacity of what we're doing right now, which is fighting sleep. This is a book about mastering the self. And so in the beginning of Ramadan, you conquer the impulses of eating and drinking and desire.

**[3:25]** By the end of Ramadan, you're conquering the most basic human impulse, which is sleep. You're even conquering that for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. That's self-mastery, right? I bring that to this, that the most difficult emotion to conquer is betrayal, right?

**[3:41]** Like there is nothing that hurts more than the hurt that's caused by other people. And he's talking about the ability to move past that. Like this is this, this last shackle that exists on you as you're trying to move forward is the layer of hurt that is caused by people.

**[3:57]** Faqala rahimahullah, muhanu al-insani fi dahrihi katheeran wa a'dhamuha mihnatihi bi ahli naw'ihi mina al-ins. The first point, he says a human being's trials in life are many, that people will face many trials during their lives.

**[4:13]** But the worst of any trial that you face is the one that's afflicted upon you by your own kind, which is another human being. And subhanAllah, I think about this, like when something happens to you that's a quote-unquote natural disaster, it's so much easier to move past that.

**[4:30]** Like, you know, think about the earthquake that just happened today. May Allah make it easy for all of those people. And subhanAllah, like an earthquake, oh, that's different, right? A car accident, that's different. Tornado hits, that's different.

**[4:46]** You get diagnosed with cancer, that's different. But when there's a face to the pain that's being caused to you, then it hits differently. When you attribute that pain to a human being. And self-mastery is the mastery of the Prophet ﷺ, that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was so focused on his journey with Allah himself,

**[5:08]** that everybody else, it's not that they became irrelevant, it's that they were all part of a greater story. And some people become so shackled by the pain that's caused to them, that their whole life story becomes trying to heal from the pain caused to them by an individual.

**[5:24]** Like, I'm fighting this person, I'm fighting this demon, I'm trying to overcome this person trying to harm me, I'm trying to overcome this. And what you don't realize is that you're no longer having sweetness in your ibadah. It's difficult, and by the way, I've been there. So I'm putting myself in that situation, like when you're making du'a, like suddenly your du'a only gets sincere when you're making du'a over a pain that's caused to you by a person.

**[5:44]** Or suddenly you find yourself like the only thing that can dominate your thoughts and your concerns are another person. And so he's saying that of all of the trials that you face, the worst of them is the one that's caused to you by your own kind, a fellow human being.

**[5:59]** Imam Ibn Hazm, Imam Ibn Hazm rahimahullah, he says that, [Arabic text] He goes, look, dealing with people and the pain that you get from dealing with people is worse than the one that you get from animals, right?

**[6:16]** Like I said, the animals, at least you can protect yourself from them. You can shoot them away and so on. But then from human beings, how can you protect yourself from people? You always need those people around you. As if he says, look, it's just like, it's an inevitable reality. You can't live without the people, but at the same time you need to be careful when you live with them.

**[6:34]** And like you said, one of the worst things people, they face in terms of dealing with people is betrayal. One of the greatest pains. And if he suggested that, subhanAllah, like, look, betrayal, especially from those who are closest to you, can be the most hurtful. Overcoming that, it's so difficult.

**[6:51]** And you could see, subhanAllah has shown us an example in the Qur'an. The example that we see in the Qur'an is the example of Yusuf ﷺ. Imagine the betrayal he had from who? From the closest people to him. The closest people to him.

**[7:06]** And he said at the end of the chapter, by the way, he says that the most difficult trials you get, the mihan that you get, is from those who are closest to you. And again, subhanAllah, if you surround yourself with people, and he keeps telling us in the previous chapters, Hey, if you surround yourself with people, always be cautious.

**[7:24]** No matter how much you love them, how close they are to you, always remember, don't disclose your secrets to them because they're friends today, tomorrow God knows what's going to happen. So he says you can always be ready to deal with negative emotions. Regardless of how hard they are. You know, Shaykh, what I was thinking about tonight in the recitation of the khatm,

**[7:41]** this time I was trying to put a visual to every surah, like, where is it located? Every time you read the Qur'an, try to read it from a different angle. And, Tabbat yada abi lahabin wa tabb, idha ja'a nasrullahi wal fath.

**[7:56]** They're both situated in the exact same place. Abu Lahab cursing the Prophet ﷺ when he's standing alone on Safa, and giving him the worst type of insult and betrayal. And there are layers to this. Abu Lahab is his closest uncle, Abu Lahab is his neighbor,

**[8:15]** Abu Lahab is the man that he has engaged two of his daughters to two of his sons. Like, it doesn't get closer than that. There's the relationship of lineage, the relationship of marriage, the relationship of being your neighbor, all of that. And he's the one that abandons you in your time of need,

**[8:32]** and betrays you in your time of need. And then the other, idha ja'a nasrullahi wal fath, is situated right on Safa, again, the Prophet ﷺ standing on Safa, but this time surrounded by over a hundred thousand people. But the betrayal of that one is not forgotten, even with the embrace of a hundred thousand people.

**[8:49]** It still hurts to be betrayed by that one that is so close to you, and that a person just never can be free from. Don't you think that, subhanAllah, it gives the Prophet ﷺ some sense of peace and tranquility, that Allah ﷻ took care of it on his behalf?

**[9:04]** He documented that betrayal in the Qur'an until the Day of Judgment. So the Prophet ﷺ doesn't have to feel that pain about it, but eventually it's there in the Qur'an. May Allah protect us from that. Then he moves on to the next point over here, which is interesting. It's something that had to do with betrayal, but on a different level.

**[9:21]** Qala al-ghalibu ala al-nasi al-nifaq, wa mina al-'ajabi annahu la yajuzu ma'a dhalika 'indahum illa man nafaqahum. He says, look, hypocrisy is the thing which is most widespread among people. Despite this, it is amazing to see the people only like those who treat them hypocritically.

**[9:39]** This was a point that was like, it opened my mind a bit. So at the end of the previous point, he says, wa la yumkinu al-tahaffulu mina al-insi aslan. You'll never get away from people. At the end of the day, you could cage a beast, you could get away from an animal, you could put something away, but you can't cage people.

**[9:55]** You know you can't cage people, by the way. You can't put people away, you can't abandon people. You're going to have to deal with people. So who you surround yourself with, some of it is by circumstance, some of it is by choice. Some of it's by circumstance, some of it's by choice. So the part that's by choice is very interesting.

**[10:12]** We hate hypocrisy, but we love hypocrites. How? As long as that person is not hurting you in front of you, or you're not sure of the way that they're talking about you, and the way that they're hurting you, you like to keep people around you that flatter you, you like to keep people around you that praise you,

**[10:27]** you like to keep people around you that exhibit these types of qualities. Like you're not trying to surround yourself with people that are going to help get you to Jannah. So there's by circumstance, there's by choice. And for some reason, if someone tries to give you nasiha,

**[10:42]** someone who loves you, gives you a hard truth, you cut them off. Not everyone obviously, but he's saying most people are like that. Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak, rahimahullah, you know, he was someone who was one of the most noble scholars in Islamic history, by the way. Truly, subhanAllah. The amount of biographies that were written about him,

**[10:58]** they say no person had more biographies outside of the Sahaba written about him, but many of them were lost in the Mongol destruction of the Muslim world. Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak, rahimahullah, he was always surrounded by people. Then suddenly he stopped talking to people. And they said, Shaykh, aren't you going to give us nasiha?

**[11:15]** He said, I don't really find people that want nasiha anymore. Like, no one likes to really be told anything. Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, radiAllahu ta'ala anhu, he said the worst thing to say to someone who tells you ittaqillah, or the worst thing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is when someone says ittaqillah.

**[11:32]** Not ittaqillah, like with a finger wagging in your face to put you down, but ittaqillah, like, come on, fear Allah, wake up, is when someone says mind your own business. Don't judge me. Mind your own business. Get out of my face. Right? So he's saying we hate hypocrisy, we hate the traits of hypocrisy,

**[11:48]** but in reality, many of us surround ourselves with hypocrites. To the point of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud, radiAllahu ta'ala anhu, he said, also there's another actually very profound statement about how much people hate those who come in their face and tell them you're wrong, for example. He said,

**[12:03]** [Arabic text]

**[12:33]** So he says, look, if you're going to sacrifice, don't sacrifice al-amr bil ma'ruf wa al-nahy 'an al-munkar, sacrifice the people. But you have to be ready when you start enjoining good and forbidding evil, that leaves you no friends. SubhanAllah, people are going to start running away from you because they don't like that.

**[12:49]** And that's the Prophet ﷺ as well, too. Because when the Prophet ﷺ received Iqra, the first revelation, and he went to Khadijah, radiAllahu ta'ala anha, and he told her what he saw, she said, tomorrow we'll go to Waraqah ibn Nawfal. Waraqah ibn Nawfal was an old man, he's already a very, very old man.

**[13:05]** Wa lakin qara'a al-kitaba al-'ibrani. He was very educated in the Judeo-Christian tradition, basically. Like he read the scriptures. So he was a muwahhid, he was monotheistic. So she sent them to him, and the Prophet ﷺ described that to him. What was some of the first thing he told him?

**[13:21]** He said, qala, this is the exact same thing like Musa ﷺ received from before. And I think you're going to be the prophet of this ummah, of this nation. Then he said to him, he says, qala, I wish I was young enough to be with you and support you when your people drive you out of your hometown.

**[13:40]** Like they're going to kick you out of Mecca. To which the Prophet ﷺ was shocked. Qala awa mukhrijiyya hum. Like remember, you talk about tribal system. Tribal society, they value everything based on lineage, bloodline, your proximity to them in terms of how relative you are.

**[13:57]** And basically it's kinship. To think or even suggest that your own people are going to kick you out of your hometown and drive you out of your hometown because you disagree with them, it never crossed his mind.

**[14:12]** So the first thing he was told when he first received iqra, read, look, he just received iqra. There was no instruction yet that he was given. Nothing, nothing yet. He just received, read in the name of your Lord who created. That's it.

**[14:27]** And then Waraqah ibn Nawfal tells him, look, they're going to drive you out of your hometown. And the Prophet says, awa mukhrijiyya hum. They're going to really do that? Qala ma ja'a ahadun bimithli ma ji'ta bihi illa udiya. No one ever brought to people a message like yours,

**[14:44]** but they gained their hostility and enmity. Which means, this is for the believers today, the closer you bring people to Allah ﷻ, the less likely you will keep friends around you. And the closer you are walking the path to Allah ﷻ,

**[15:03]** the more enemies you're going to gain. Because look at our society today, Shaykh. The world today. Why there is so much attack on Islam and Muslims everywhere in the world? Because Islam comes to suggest to people to change their way of life.

**[15:19]** A way of life that they believe is sacred to them. And that's their culture, that's their tradition, that's who they are. And Islam is saying, this is haram, this is wrong, this is shameful. You have to live a decent life, you have to have a specific standard.

**[15:34]** And these people don't want to do that. That's why when you suggest to do righteous deeds, they're going to run away from you because they want to live their way of living. So subhanAllah, to the point of Ibn Mas'ud, and the same thing here that you can't protect yourself from people.

**[15:52]** No matter how much you try. Even if you want to live your life as a, alhamdulillah, a decent lifestyle, you're going to still find people coming after you. Not because you're going after them, it's simply just they cannot stand someone doing better than them

**[16:07]** in terms of subhanAllah way of life and have a decent righteous life. So that's what I get from this point. And I think that it's important for people from a seerah perspective to understand the Prophet ﷺ was the most unlikely person that would be hated or kicked out of a society before Islam.

**[16:23]** There is nothing, there's not a single person that claims an injustice from him. He treats his neighbors well, he treats his family well, he's the peacemaker ﷺ, he's the trustworthy one. I mean, there is no reason why anybody would want to hurt the Prophet ﷺ.

**[16:41]** And so you just have to put yourself in his shoes, how ridiculous it sounds, idh yukhrijuka qawmuka What do you mean, idh yukhrijuka qawmuka Your people, wait, my people run me out? He is the least likely person to be taken as an enemy from his people,

**[16:57]** yet subhanAllah, imagine you walk into Mecca eight years later and he's the most wanted and hated man in society ﷺ. Why? He never did anything to them. But his message threatened their interests. That's the key. If your message threatens their interests,

**[17:13]** it's not always just their ego, their interests. You are a threat to their interests, you're a threat to their agenda. They had an agenda with their idolatry, and monotheism was a threat to that agenda, so we have to get them out of here, right? And that's always the case of the Prophets.

**[17:28]** In our society today, imagine, you know, as a Muslim, you're telling people you shouldn't be dealing with riba and usury. What happened to the economic system today? Who's going to be against you in this society, Shaykh? Everybody, every financial institution, every corporation,

**[17:43]** they're going to go after you because you are threatening their financial system right now. If you say to the people, avoid the muharramat, stop drinking, stop, you know, consuming drugs, who's going to come after you?

**[17:58]** All these organs, of course, in a corporation that survives on these kind of products and so on. And there is so much thing that the immorality of the society, it's a business over here. Billions of dollars involved in this. And as a Muslim, telling the people, don't watch haram, don't do this, don't do that,

**[18:14]** they can definitely come after you. And if we, from a historical point of view, Shaykh, something happened specifically when imperialism started and the European nations started going into Muslim land in the Middle East all the way to India. The first thing that they would do

**[18:29]** when they take and capture any Muslim land, the first thing they do, they destroy the economic system and they replace the economic system with theirs. Because they need to profit their banks. Banks were sponsoring their missions

**[18:44]** and their campaigns and their wars. So they removed the Islamic system of dealing, a financial system, and replaced it with the European system. And all these generations later right now, it has become the global system.

**[18:59]** It's so hard for a Muslim to live under this kind of financial system without being tarnished by riba or by something haram. Do you want to take a quote or should I take a Shaykh? Go ahead. So he says, [Arabic text]

**[19:40]** So he says, this is a really hard one actually to go through, so I'll read the translation here a bit. But he says that if we were to say that characters are round like a globe because their extremes meet, then we would not be far from the truth. What he means by that is that characteristics, good and bad, there is a level that everything can become harmful and everything can become exploited.

**[20:03]** So he's talking about temperaments right now. This is something he mentioned also in Tawq al-Hamamah, The Ring of the Dove. He talks about this actually there. And he means by that, he said, look, opposites attract. That's what he meant by that. Like you would say, if you have a magnet, the magnet has of course, has what? The north and the south.

**[20:22]** And they are in the same magnet, holding together. But they're complete opposites. Complete opposites. And if you try to bring another magnet to it, obviously what's going to happen? If you try to put the same characteristics, they will propel each other.

**[20:38]** He says sometimes, sometimes over here, you have to understand, a taba' can be like a sphere, like a circle. The two extremes can be actually within the exact same circle, which means you can have those two extremes as well.

**[20:54]** Also, sometimes two extremes can attract each other, like the south and the north over here. And he mentions, he says, usually he was referring to this point actually when he was talking about attraction, when it comes to through love and marriage and like why do people sometimes feel attracted to an image considered inferior to them?

**[21:15]** Like we'll be surprised and shocked because you see people married to each other, and we look at them, they're completely opposite. So here he said like sometimes opposites attract. So if you are too calm, you want someone who is not as calm as you are, right?

**[21:31]** Like if you're an introvert, and you think that I need somebody the same thing, inshallah, introvert. Two introverts, I don't know, they might propel each other. Like you want someone who is hyper crazy and someone who is quiet and calm, right?

**[21:46]** That's how things work probably in relationship. But everyone wants to be the hyper crazy one. So what he says, look, sometimes opposite qualities have the exact same effect. And he brings it like sometimes people cry out of extreme joy and extreme sadness.

**[22:03]** And he says the same thing in Tawq al-Hamamah, the Ring of the Dove, he goes, the effect of a charcoal and the effect of ice, he says it's the exact same thing. It gives, of course, the burning sensation. One gives, of course, from the heat and the other one from frostbite.

**[22:21]** So it gives the exact same burning sensation as well too. That's opposite attract over here. Excessive love and excessive hate. I find that very interesting. Like it's painful to have excessive love. You know, we're talking about like the story of Barira and Mughith.

**[22:36]** Like it's painful to love someone so much because you're always disappointed them. And it's painful to hate someone so much, right? Because either way, your heart is constantly boiling. So you're saying the problem is you're excessive, right? The problem is you excessively love, you excessively hate.

**[22:51]** The problem is you cry too much out of joy or you cry too much out of sorrow. So there has to be a limit to your sorrow. There has to be a limit to your joy. And that's going to ruin your patience. That's going to ruin your sense of actually being able to be firm and stable because you go too far with these emotions.

**[23:07]** So you have to find your balance basically. If you think that you're always quiet, you're always truthful, you're always kind, yeah, sometimes you can actually be ruthless as well too. Find your balance. The point he mentioned, what you covered, Shaykh, right now, he says, wa najidu fartu al-mawaddati yaltaqi ma'a farti al-bighdati fi tatabbu'i al-'atharat

**[23:26]** He goes, look, excessive love and excessive hate result in the same thing. What does that mean? You scrutinize the person, you know, too much. So if you love somebody too much, you wait for their fault. You love them so much, so the least they do, it disappoints you.

**[23:43]** So you feel basically disappointed from their mistakes. You always look at their faults. And if you hate somebody so much, what are you looking for? Also their faults. Because excessive love, excessive hate can lead to the same thing, the same result. So he said, take it easy on yourself. Wa qad yakunu sababan lil qati'ati 'inda man 'adima al-sabra wa al-insaf

**[24:01]** He goes, if that's the case with people, it can cause you to cut ties with many, many people, especially those who are not patient enough to handle you and deal with you in your extreme moments. So he says, rahimahullah kullu man ghalabat 'alayhi tabi'atun ma fa innahu wa in balagha al-ghayata mina al-hazmi wa al-hadhri fahuwa masru'un idha kida min qibaliha

**[24:23]** He says that whoever is overtaken by a certain temperament, meaning if you have that particular excessive nature when it comes to a passion or when it comes to a particular temperament, even if you're a person of hazm and hadhar, you're a person who's otherwise very resolute and you're a person who's otherwise very cautious,

**[24:39]** like you're stable, you're someone that tends to approach things very rationally, knows how to keep the limits, but you have this excess in one area of your temperament, he said then that's going to be the weakness that someone can exploit and someone can bring you down through.

**[24:54]** That's that one, you give that one opening, like an enemy that studies you well, studies the one crack, the one weakness, and if you think about yourself, often we justify excess in certain qualities and certain temperaments

**[25:09]** by saying well I can afford this because I'm otherwise this, this, this and that. So yeah, he's this, which is not a good thing, or there's excess in this, but at the same time, like otherwise I have all these good qualities. So he's saying you've got to remedy that one weakness, that one opening that can be taken from you.

**[25:28]** The other point he says here, rahimahullah ta'ala said, kathrat al-ribi tu'allimu sahibaha al-kidhba likathrati daruratih ila al-i'tidhara bil kidhbi fayatamarra 'alayhi wa yastashiluh An over suspicious mind learns to tell lies. Since he often needs to excuse himself by lying, he's practiced in it and finds it easy.

**[25:47]** What does that mean? If you're too suspicious about people, you deal with them in a certain way, that exposes you to them. So when people try to tell you about how you deal with them, you have to defend yourself by lying and hiding that suspicion that you have.

**[26:02]** So basically if you're too suspicious, you're going to become a liar eventually. And that happens a lot, you know, let's say between husband and wife, right? If the husband is too suspicious and he acts with his spouse based on his suspicion and she's surprised and tries to bring that out to him, he's going to lie about it.

**[26:20]** No, that's not true, no, no, there's nothing. They will lie because they're going to hide it. Same thing, if the lady is also suspicious too much about her husband and the husband notices that and he's going to start bringing it up to her, she's going to lie to hide that suspicion. So he goes, look, being over suspicious is going to make you a liar,

**[26:36]** which means you're going to have to have a level of confidence, self-confidence first and foremost, and then give people husn al-dhann, give people husn al-dhann. Yeah, but in this point, actually, subhanAllah, it's important when it comes to the subject of suspicion

**[26:52]** because being too suspicious about people, you can also push them, that's the problem. You can push them to start misbehaving as a result of that. There's a very famous statement in Arabic, it says, qala inna al-amira idha ibtaghara ribatan fi al-nasi afsadahum.

**[27:11]** As a leader, whether you're a leader of your house, leader of your community, leader of your group, if you keep too suspicious about your subject, about your family, about the people that you take care of,

**[27:26]** if you are always suspicious about them, you always treat them based on your suspicion, you're going to ruin them. Like they're going to start lying to you, they're going to start hating you, they're going to start avoiding you, and they're going to start probably maybe practice the thing that you're suspicious about just to prove your point then.

**[27:44]** Self-fulfilling prophecies. Exactly. It happens all the time. SubhanAllah, especially, I mean, I know you're the marriage Shaykh, but I'll talk about a little bit there too, Shaykh, like in that regard. It's okay, go ahead. If I have your permission. No, but it's really interesting.

**[27:59]** If you keep on poking, if you keep on saying this, this, this and that, or if it's a friend or a colleague or whatever it is, and you keep on accusing them, and you keep on casting that suspicion, eventually they're going to be like, you know what, forget about it. Yeah, whatever.

**[28:15]** Even with a child, by the way, you keep saying, you're this, you're that, you're this, you're that, right? But eventually that child is just going to succumb to that fault and say, you know what, I get blamed for this fault, whether I do or whether I don't, I might as well just fall into it anyway. So it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

**[28:30]** He's, subhanAllah, he completed the point afterwards, he said, look, or he said, [Arabic text] because look, basically, if you're so much doubtful all the time,

**[28:45]** then you're going to become a liar, and then eventually that's going to show on your face. In the next point he says, [Arabic text] like your biggest witness that exposes you if you're right or wrong,

**[29:00]** if you're someone who's always truthful, your most manifest witness is your face. Because when you lie, it shows. You're not good at lying, right? You're always a truthful person. The moment you start lying, people, they're going to start,

**[29:15]** look, I mean, you're not telling the truth. You know, the kids are very innocent, right? Kids, very innocent, and they're usually, they're very truthful. Unfortunately, it's us parents and society sometimes teach them to lie. Unfortunately, especially the way we treat them.

**[29:31]** Like, for example, I'll give you an example. Little kids, they play in the other room, you hear something is breaking. As a parent, you come into the room. Most common question parents, they ask when they see something broken on the floor, what do they ask exactly? Who did this? Right?

**[29:47]** Little kids, they're very innocent, they say, I didn't mean it. You go, you punish them. What value did you achieve, that child? Never ever tell the truth. Next time something breaks, you come back to the room, and you ask, who did this? What are you going to get?

**[30:03]** He did, she did, I don't know, it just fell by itself, right? We taught them a horrible, horrible value. So kids, very innocent, and when they lie, you can see it in their faces. Someone who is known to be a truthful person, the moment they start kind of like lying, hiding,

**[30:19]** you can tell in their face, you can't hide that. He says as well, He says, [Arabic text] Because for the truthful, the witness against him is his face. For the liar, his biggest witness against him is his or her tongue.

**[30:36]** Not the face, because they might hide it, they can mask their lie in that face, right? Because their tongue, the slip of the tongue. Because it's going to be volatile, it's not going to be actually any strong. Because he will contradict himself when he starts speaking.

**[30:52]** An interesting point, subhanAllah. Because it's very true, when you start actually diagnosing. Yeah, I don't want to get into politics, but you can see sometimes with state officials and stuff like that, it's not so obvious.

**[31:08]** You can see exactly that someone is tripping over themselves, and there are so many of those slips. Now those that hate us actually tell us that they hate us, and it's very obvious. But before the causes of concern and the slips and the liars. The previous administration, let's say that.

**[31:24]** You're eating yourself up because it's so obvious because you're tripping over yourself at some point. Your words are actually contradicting each other, and a liar can't hide at some point their tongue. The next point he says, [Arabic text]

**[31:46]** I understand this in two ways, by the way. One of them, that the calamity, the tragedy of having a treacherous friend is worse than actually losing a treacherous friend. But I don't know if I'm reading it wrong, but I'm also understanding that the tragedy caused by him

**[32:01]** is not as great as the tragedy of having him in the first place. Like it's whatever he caused you of pain, the fact that you have him is a greater musibah in and of itself. And one of those tragedies is losing that person. What do you understand from this statement? It's a very deep statement, honestly.

**[32:16]** Like you said, it has multiple ways of looking at it. Like having a catastrophe in a friend that betrays you, basically, is greater than losing that friend himself. Like basically they said, the catastrophe of him dying as a friend,

**[32:33]** that's easy than keeping him as a traitor. That's what it means over here. Like I'd rather him die and lose him completely than realize one day that he had betrayed me. So that becomes a greater catastrophe for them.

**[32:48]** Allah knows best. Then he says, [Arabic text]

**[33:03]** So he says, the person who speaks most harshly about the faults with his tongue is the one who actually finds it easiest to commit them with his deeds. And this is evident amongst the people that are most vulgar and foul-mouthed.

**[33:19]** So basically people that talk a lot, people that are loud about the shameful acts of others are the ones who usually are the ones that perform them easiest. And so he's just talking about people with loose tongues are usually loose with their deeds as well.

**[33:35]** And there's also an element to that too, that sometimes the people that are loudest in their condemnation of a sin are those that actually commit that sin the most. Right? Yes. Actually, subhanAllah, that is true.

**[33:51]** He says as well, you can find these people when they fight and they start using bad language with each other, accusing each other with the faults that they know probably they commit the most. So sometimes people expose themselves in the way they speak to one another.

**[34:06]** And that's what he means by that, rahmatullahi ta'ala alayhi. Shaykh, last point, inshaAllah, before we take our final reflections on Ramadan, inshaAllah, azza wa jal, the point I wanted to mention, al-liqa' yadhawu bil sakha'imi faka'anna nadhara al-'ayni ila al-'ayni yuslihu al-qulub.

**[34:22]** That's your comment on it. This is a powerful point. I want you all to reflect on this one quite a bit. So he said, al-liqa' yadhawu bil sakha'imi faka'anna nadhara al-'ayni ila al-'ayni yuslihu al-qulub.

**[34:37]** So he says that meeting one another melts away grudges. When we actually meet with one another, it melts away grudges. So he says, for the gaze of an eye into another eye, when people look each other in the eyes, then that is the greatest way to remedy the hearts.

**[34:52]** SubhanAllah, this point, I think it's probably one of the greatest tricks of shaytan, and it's so easy in the information age. You have to realize that shaytan thrives on distance. Look at the hikmah of the Prophet ﷺ when he said,

**[35:08]** when you straighten up your lines, don't leave gaps, because it may be that the shaytan will part your hearts. If he can get between you, like the distance in your lines of prayer, in your rows of prayer, then perhaps he will cause distance between your hearts as well. There's something deeply profound about that.

**[35:25]** The admonition from the Prophet ﷺ of not ignoring your brother, not distancing yourself from your brother or your sister. I want you to think about how easy it is for shaytan to manipulate when two people don't talk to each other. And this day and age, because we can easily write,

**[35:42]** like for God's sake, people text divorce to each other. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen in my life. No, I'm serious, like you're going to ruin something as sacred as nikah with your long, dumb text messages to each other? Like, you live in the same house, go talk to each other, right?

**[35:59]** But you're afraid to look the other person in the eye. Why are you afraid to look the other person in the eye? Because you might actually know. Funny things, people send me those screenshots as evidence. It's heartbreaking. It's like, come on.

**[36:14]** You're in the same house, why are you sending three-page text messages to each other? Go walk to the person in the room and talk to them. But you're afraid of looking a person in the eye. Why? Because you might soften up, and the shaytan tells you, you've got to be strong, you've got to be tough.

**[36:30]** Don't talk to that person. That's how brothers fall apart, that's how sisters fall apart, that's how couples fall apart. That's how the basic lutf, the basic kindness and gentleness, and like these natural emotions that Allah put in us

**[36:45]** for one another start to melt away. And so it's so dangerous, and always be that person who doesn't write long emails, who doesn't write long text messages. But when you have a problem, say, let's talk. Let's talk.

**[37:01]** Because as he's saying here, rahimahullah, look, you've got to look each other in the eyes. And things will change. Things will melt away in the process. Like, at the bare minimum, you'll realize that that other person is a human being.

**[37:16]** Like, that's a person. That's a Muslim. That's your brother, that's your sister. Because shaytan wants to paint them, ironically, as a shaytan. You know? But when you see someone, and you look in their eyes, then the hearts, subhanAllah, naturally are cured.

**[37:33]** Don't use these devices of distance to create greater distance between the people that Allah has put in your life. Mend hearts by looking into people's eyes. We're saying, you know what, let's sit together. By the way, this is also a lesson in masjid drama. Like, how many communities have fallen apart

**[37:49]** because of emails that just fly? Right? Emails back and forth. It's like, don't you people pray isha together? Don't you go to the same masjid? That time that you wasted sitting, you know, 30 hours writing your angry email. You could have solved it in two minutes if you just said salam to each other and talked in the corner of the masjid after salah.

**[38:08]** Why are you writing these long emails to each other? Why are you writing these long texts to each other? And that just grows fitna, fitna, fitna, fitna, fitna, and then it just becomes an all-out brawl now. Now you can just tell AI, hey, make me an angry movie about this person. You know, I want you to convey my emotions to... or you know, you use chat... I don't want to give you guys ideas.

**[38:27]** You write an angry message to this person and tell him how hurt I am. They'll write you a nice... it'll be used as a device to write you the long angry message. Please heed this lesson. Don't let the devil create distance. Heed it and look someone in the eyes and that will melt away the grudges as he says here, rahimahullah.

**[38:46]** It's such a powerful line that he mentions. I mean, how many times you've heard from people, you know, they get upset with each other, bring it back again to marriage. If it's been a husband and wife, they're upset with one another and they boycott each other for maybe a few hours, probably maybe or maybe half a day or the whole day.

**[39:01]** And they're now making this whole argument in their mind. And they're preparing their argument, they're preparing their statement, they're preparing their fight. And they even... they kind of create different scenarios. And then the moment they meet their spouse, you know, they want to now start talking the conversation.

**[39:18]** They just... they lose all this argument completely. Like that's like... naturally if there is a sense, if there is a level of affection, level of compassion in our hearts towards one another, that's what Imam Ibn Hazm is referring to.

**[39:33]** Like having that compassion for another will help of course those grudges to melt away so easily and quickly. But if you don't have compassion, Allah musta'an, that's different. And some people unfortunately they have absolutely no compassion in their hearts.

**[39:49]** And I don't know how they survive. The Prophet ﷺ, he came out of the masjid with Al-Aqra' ibn Habis. He was a leader and a chief of his people. So he came with the Prophet ﷺ and the Prophet ﷺ told him like, let's stop for a second here at the house of Fatima.

**[40:06]** Because as he was walking away by the house of Fatima, I mean his grandkids are there, he loves them. So he goes, let's stop for a second over here. He starts calling Al-Hasan, It's like an endearment statement, like saying where's that weasel? Basically like, where's that weasel? Where's that weasel?

**[40:21]** And then Al-Hasan comes running as hearing the sound and the voice of his grandfather. Came running and running and jump on his grandfather, the Prophet ﷺ. He holds him and he hugs him and he kisses him. Al-Aqra' ibn Habis looking at the Prophet ﷺ and he just like see him kissing his grandson.

**[40:41]** You guys, you kiss your kids? He goes, I swear I have ten of them. I have ten kids, I've never kissed anyone of them in my life. He's saying this and being what? He's being a man, he's trying to raise tough guys, tough boys, right?

**[40:57]** They have to be tough, man. I mean kissing them is going to make them soft. The Prophet ﷺ looked at him and subhanAllah you can even tell from the words of the Prophet ﷺ how sorry he felt for him. Like the Prophet ﷺ was so disappointed with this man. Like you're the chief of your people, God knows how you rule your people then.

**[41:13]** He says, qala sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam wa ma amliku laka an naza'a Allahu rahmatan min qalbik Like if that's the case, what do I do for you if Allah ﷻ has taken that mercy out of your heart? Like, you know, no matter how angry we get with each other,

**[41:29]** whether it's your child, your parent, your spouse, your in-laws, there has to be that level of compassion. Forget about love, okay? Forget about hubb. You don't love them. But at least have mercy on them. Have rahmah, that compassion.

**[41:45]** Hopefully, in all circumstances, if you meet with people and you have a sense of compassion, all these grudges will go away because you realize now they are capable of retaliating. You're capable of doing something different, but you choose the path of mercy rather than the path, of course, of taking that grudge.

**[42:01]** Can I finish the point that he actually puts here? Because it's interesting. I didn't think about it, but in the context, it does complete it. He says, [Arabic text] Really interesting.

**[42:16]** He says, [Arabic text] Really interesting because, like, if you think about it, That's very deep psychology, by the way. Yeah, it is. It's incredible.

**[42:33]** I'm thinking about just like the social element of that. And I'd love to hear your comments on this, Shaykh. But like, when someone, when three of you are around, and you almost have to choose a side when there's a fallout. I gotta take this person, sorry. And then it's betrayal.

**[42:48]** You still talk to that person. You still went and sat with that person. You still met that person. And that's also a trick of shaytan. Right? [Arabic text] Right?

**[43:03]** And don't split up into cliques, groups, sects. There's a theological nature to that. But there's just a bare human nature to that. And he's saying, look, if you have a mutual friend that's still talking to both of you, someone that still talks to your enemy, Alhamdulillah, at least he's holding something between you two.

**[43:19]** And that's good for everybody. It's good for you and it's good for everybody. So don't be this person who says, oh, you still talk to that person? I don't like you either now. Right? I'd love to hear your take on this. The psychology of it, Shaykh, when you know that this person still meets and speaks with my enemy, right?

**[43:35]** How extreme are you going to go with this friend right now? You can't go that extreme. Why? Because you know they're still friends with the other person. And I don't want to lose this friend, for example. And hopefully at some point it might be a moment where you say, you know what? If we all can be friends with the same person, why can't you just maybe have him to mediate?

**[43:54]** Like the psychology of it, it's like I can't go beyond because I don't want to lose this friend as well. Subhanallah. And if they meet with them, maybe they would say something about our meeting to them. It would also soften their hearts towards me. So, yeah, that mutual friend should be a peacemaker.

**[44:11]** And if we're wise enough to use that mutual friend as a peacemaker, that would be great, inshallah. Obviously, we're talking about in reasonable circumstances. Sometimes the huquq are too great really to be wasted in these matters. But again, having that mutual friend can bring some peace, inshallah.

**[44:29]** That's self-mastery, by the way. When you're the person that stands between two people that are fighting, you get the blows from both of them. You really have to be doing it for the sake of Allah. Right? Because neither one of them is going to be satisfied with your stances.

**[44:46]** Both of them are going to feel like you didn't go far enough in their cause. All right? And that's why the Prophet ﷺ mentions the greatest charity is to reconcile between two people. It's a sadaqah. Like, it's charity. You're doing everyone a favor. Nobody wants to be that person in the middle.

**[45:02]** Like, at the end, like, you can see two people that are fighting, two friends. Like, I'm just going to step out of the way and let them have it out. And I'm just going to keep a relationship with both of them. But subhanAllah, that person that actually takes the role of islah, wanting to reconcile between people. So they don't quote bad words to each other.

**[45:18]** You know how, you know, and he talks about this in earlier chapters, how cowards try to win friends. How do they try to win friends? When they sit with one side, they say, man, that guy said this about you, but I put my foot down and I said, no, a'udhu billah. This person is this, this, and this, and that. I defended you.

**[45:33]** I had your back. Then they say the other thing to the, they say the same thing to the other person. Like, I had your back. I had your back. And in reality, like I said, a person, an imam who quotes words to each other is someone who is, who has no personality. They have no character. They actually have no character.

**[45:48]** The neutral is to just maintain a relationship with both of them. But to be the person who actually will say to the other person, hey, I know you hate this person. I know you're mad at this person. But, you know, they still love you. He said this about you. And you could even embellish, embellish what he said about you in good.

**[46:09]** Right? Just to bring people together. Like, he still loves you. He still cares about you. I think we can make this happen. Right? That is a person who has to be doing it for the sake of Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. And that is mastering a position. Like, that's where you swallow your own ego.

**[46:25]** And you also want the reward of islah bayna al-nas. To bring two people together. May Allah make us people of islah. Subhanallah, we have a few messages here since people recognize that this is the last night that we have this discussion here.

**[46:40]** And there is an off-topic message that came here that requested that we thank you on behalf of all the brothers and sisters that have been watching the Ramadan series. On the other side. A topic that for them, they have never really heard of before.

**[46:56]** And they want to just make sure that you get the message how much they benefit from it. If there is anything you would like to say to those brothers and sisters who are watching that series in Ramadan. And what is exactly the takeaway that should be taken from that series?

**[47:11]** You know, subhanallah, first of all, it's a team effort. So make du'a for all of those people that are doing the production, the editing, and all that other stuff. It's a lot that goes into that whole thing. This series was the most personal I've ever gotten in a series.

**[47:28]** Because it brings together two traumas in my own life. Which was the death of my mother. May Allah have mercy on her. And then really the trauma of what's happening in Gaza right now. And how to come to terms with all of that. Just remember that coping is not feeling better.

**[47:45]** Coping is doing better. Coping is not feeling better. Coping is doing better. So this series was not meant to put people at ease. That alhamdulillah everything is going to be alright. This series was to say keep going. And it will be alright. But we all have to keep going.

**[48:00]** So we have to make sure that we aim for the best destination. That we end up in the place that we hope our loved ones are at now. Right? Otherwise it's all worthless. What's the ease in knowing that the people of Gaza are taken care of. That the shuhada are taken care of.

**[48:15]** That our loved ones have gone to Jannah. If we don't go there ourselves. That's not going to give us any comfort whatsoever. Should our graves become chambers of the fire. May Allah protect us. So you have to aim for what you hope they're in right now. And that's my greatest message. Is that this is meant to be life changing truly.

**[48:32]** Again I was reflecting even today, subhanAllah, like the scheme. In the end of the Qur'an. Like Allah azawajal, you go from idha zulzilati al-ardu zilzalaha Right? And then wa al-'adiyati dabha al-qari'atu ma al-qari'ah alhakumu al-takathur

**[48:47]** Like this idea of being distracted by the world. And ignoring the looming, the looming catastrophe. Which is death. And what comes after. And Sayyiduna Uthman radiAllahu ta'ala anhu Like I hope you get it now. I hope you get it now. I hope you get it now.

**[49:02]** I started off with this hadith because most of the scholars will start off with this when they talk about the virtues of visiting the graveyard. Why would Uthman radiAllahu ta'ala anhu be more moved to emotion when he stood at the graves than even hearing about Jannah an-Nar which are more eternal.

**[49:17]** The grave at the end of the day is a temporary station. The barzakh is a temporary station before you get to your eventual destination. But why was that one so much more impactful? Why would Uthman radiAllahu ta'ala anhu stand there and cry so much? Because he recognized that this one is like now.

**[49:32]** This can happen now. It's actually a crazy thought. You're sitting here right now above earth. If you die tonight, there's a possibility you're buried tomorrow. By the time the people gather once again,

**[49:47]** you're already underground. That's a crazy thought. It's actually a very crazy thought when you think about it. The immediacy of death. But for the believer, they plan for that day every single day. And therefore, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala, we will not be taken by surprise should we be ready for bi-idhnillahi ta'ala.

**[50:03]** So may Allah azawajal grant us all a good ending. Ameen. JazakAllah khair. There's another message here regarding the brothers and sisters who are actually outside of the masjid. They came here early to enter the musalla so they can be part of al-hamdulillah this beautiful evening.

**[50:18]** Unfortunately, obviously, we had to close the doors because the masjid was already full. And many of them were disappointed being outside, unable to be here. And mashallah, I saw the videos and the pictures from the outside crowd as we were doing our khatm and our du'a.

**[50:35]** The entire area was full, mashallah. We ran out of tarp actually for people to pray on and also in the parking lots. It's a blessing. Alhamdulillah, we had so many people who would love to be part of this jama'ah, this community.

**[50:50]** But we would like again to apologize on behalf of ourselves, the administration, all the volunteers who are unable of course to open the doors for those who maybe drove a long distance just to be here because we have to also abide by the rules here

**[51:05]** and keeping the masjid, mashallah, full to the capacity as much as we can. So once again, I want to thank you all for being here with us, mashallah. And Ramadan, of course, is just one step and one journey of being part of this community,

**[51:21]** inshallah. So our activities will continue. Our programs will continue after Ramadan, inshallah. The doors will be always open, inshallah, after the month of Ramadan. So we invite you all to come and partake, inshallah, in this journey with us, inshallah.

**[51:36]** Any word you want to give to people from outside? If it's okay, Shaykh, do you mind if I ask you some questions? Can we get the mic before we do the questions? Can we get the microphone? I just want to ask you a few questions about your experience. Can you bring it, take it to Brother Jared, please?

**[51:55]** While he's doing that, Jazakum Allahu khairan. May Allah bless you all. I know I speak for myself, but I know Shaykh Yasser has the same sentiment. May Allah forgive us for what you don't know about us, and may Allah make us better

**[52:11]** than the opinion that you have of us, and may Allah allow us to benefit from the words that we share from you, and may Allah make us better than most ourselves. Just remember that your relationship with Allah is personal at the end of the day. You have to be able to make that personal du'a.

**[52:26]** Like, I get it, subhanAllah, there's something about the sentiment of when we're all making du'a together, but there's nothing like your du'a in the corner of your home when it's just you and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Just learn to talk to God. Learn to talk to Allah.

**[52:42]** Whatever comes, just learn to talk to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So, Jared, you embraced Islam tonight? Yes. But you've been fasting for the whole month? Yes, sir. How was that experience?

**[52:58]** It was different. Tell us about it. It was very different. My mom was open to Allah at first. Of course, anger, you know, controlling emotions, that's big. You know, learning how to handle a situation

**[53:14]** when not eating, you know, a lot of things, you know. Eating, drinking, it's a lot. It opened my mind to a lot. It really, really did. And it's a big blessing to me. I saw a lot of light in your face when you took shahadah.

**[53:30]** There are a lot of people that took shahadah. May Allah bless them all. But I could just see, like, satisfaction, tranquility. How does it feel to have been Muslim now for three hours? It feels great. The mic is on?

**[53:46]** Yeah. May Allah bless you. Just want to let you know that it was deeply moving to have you embrace Islam tonight, and we're really happy to have you as part of the community. May Allah bless you.

**[54:02]** We look forward to seeing you around. How are you still awake? Are you, like, on adrenaline right now? Coffee, adrenaline? Man, I don't know. None of us do. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[54:18]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[54:34]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[54:50]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[55:06]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[55:22]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[55:38]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[55:54]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[56:10]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[56:26]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[56:42]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[56:58]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[57:14]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[57:30]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.

**[57:46]** I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. And he waited until Prophet ﷺ say three times, As-Salamu Alaikum.

**[58:06]** And after he opened the door and ﷺ asked, Why you didn't open the door? He said, The precious war and you are bringing Allah's Salam.

**[58:21]** So I wanted to hear more and waited until you say three times. And this war forbidden to say shahadah in my country. So yes, we feel everywhere pain for the Muslim.

**[58:37]** Please keep in your prayer. We are Muslim. We cannot fast. We cannot pray. We cannot say As-Salamu Alaikum. Please keep in your prayer.

**[58:52]** I feel so blessed in the Ramadan because my family and my people cannot fast. May Allah protect you and your families and keep you all safe. We ask Allah to alleviate the suffering of our brothers and sisters in East Turkestan.

**[59:08]** We ask Allah to relieve them from any harm that might come their way. We ask Allah to make it easy for them to fast and practice their deen freely. Anybody else would like to give a reflection from the sister side maybe? As-Salamu Alaikum.

**[59:25]** It's been two years Alhamdulillah since I took my shahadah here. Hi Shaykh Mohammed. Congratulations. So since those two years I have tried to really up my Ramadan. I have three kids Alhamdulillah. Five, three and one.

**[59:43]** And Inshallah another one on the way. Wow I told all of you people. I haven't even told my family yet. Oh God. Alhamdulillah. But I think something that resonated this Ramadan was you strive and you strive and you strive to do all the things.

**[59:59]** You want to go to every prayer every night. You want to stay up early in the morning. And then you recognize that sometimes barriers hit whether that's life, your kids, your husband, spouse, etc. And Shaykh Mohammed your talk the other night about when you reflected 17 years ago and you fell asleep.

**[1:00:22]** And it honestly made me cry because I've been telling my husband Alhamdulillah for him that I feel guilty for not doing more. And you know he reminded me Allah ﷻ is so merciful and he knows what's in our heart and that we try our best.

**[1:00:39]** So Alhamdulillah this Ramadan has been about sabr, about patience and about really just trying to do your best and knowing that Inshallah Allah knows what's in your heart. Thank you. May Allah bless you and give you the ability to fast more. These Ramadan's were easier.

**[1:00:56]** By the way you did just tell your family but you told your Muslim family. May Allah bless you and continue to bless your family. MashaAllah two years is a long, I mean you're using the lingo better than any one of us now. May Allah bless you and keep you firm and bless your family.

**[1:01:13]** Anyone from the brother's side would like to give a reflection Inshallah? In the name of Allah. Peace be upon you. Peace be upon you. What goes on in Ramadan and the largest thing that goes through my head and the word I found myself saying the most this month is Alhamdulillah.

**[1:01:36]** And this is for sabr, this is for the words of taqwa. When I talk to, when I speak to my family in Gaza, they'll go on, they'll show you like look, look we got, we have grapes and like simple fruits and they're not in good shape but like we can, they're available, we can buy them.

**[1:01:55]** And we say Alhamdulillah for how hungry I am throughout the day, I'm fasting 14 hours, I'm full in 4 minutes. Alhamdulillah we have very little to, excuse me, very little to complain about Alhamdulillah.

**[1:02:10]** Allahumma lakal hamd. JazakAllah khair. May Allah bless you and your family and protect our brothers and sisters in Gaza. Sister's side Inshallah? I have a question. Well can you make a reflection first? Go ahead, go ahead.

**[1:02:27]** I don't know, I don't know. I have a question. Okay, go ahead. Okay, so I have a question. I want to know how, is there any way to get more closer to Allah and feel the connection other than praying and doing dhikr and all of that?

**[1:02:48]** Because I really want to feel a connection and get closer. May Allah bless you. You know, I think, I want to make this very clear. There is no one around you that has this super connection that's just floating in the air and always remembering Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

**[1:03:07]** Every single one of us has droughts of ghaflah, heedlessness, and we need to be shocked out of that sometimes and gain taqwa, awareness of Allah. The exercise of fasting in particular, la'allakum tattaqoon, you become more aware of Allah.

**[1:03:23]** And aware of Allah in a way that would prevent you from consumption of the haram, consumption of that which is of disobedience. But you want to graduate from taqwa to ihsan, excellence, where you're not just aware of Allah in a way that causes you to avoid the sins, but you're aware of Allah in a way that causes you to do more good deeds.

**[1:03:41]** Let me just say that the craving for that connection with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is a lifelong craving and the one who has it wants more. It's not like you one day feel like, ah, now I can feel it, I can talk to him.

**[1:03:56]** It's a lifelong strive. Just like your physical gains, right? The soul is a lifelong journey. To discipline it, to exercise it, to grow it. Use all of these good deeds, these pathways of good.

**[1:04:13]** If you feel more connected to Allah in the gatherings, keep coming to the gatherings. If you feel more connected to Allah when you remember him alone, keep remembering him alone. Try to increase your connection with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in your salah. Try to use fasting as a tool to constantly be thinking about him, to sharpen those senses about his sight upon you.

**[1:04:32]** Try to use charity, use the different abwab, the different gates that Allah has given you to him and keep exerting yourself. But that desire for that connection is actually one of the most potent ways to establish a strong connection.

**[1:04:47]** So there's a point that we all reach in our journey of some level of baseline guilt. Like it just dawns upon you like, man, I'm really far away. Like they're talking about all this stuff and I just feel like I'm this, I feel like I have imposter syndrome.

**[1:05:04]** By the way, I feel that all the time. All the time. Like straight up imposter syndrome. Like subhanAllah, there are people when I'm making du'a, that I know that even though I'm the one that's making the du'a, I know they're more sincere than me and they're right in front of me.

**[1:05:20]** Total imposter syndrome. And I'm like, I'm envying that person who's saying ameen. Even though I'm the one making the du'a. So the desire for a connection is an important one. The guilt for not being as connected is what's going to get you to the next level inshaAllah.

**[1:05:37]** So just keep exerting yourself. My khutbah today was about the importance of the masjid. Ramadan is a season. It's the season of taqwa. The masjid is the place of taqwa. Prophet ﷺ mentioned, The home of every pious person.

**[1:05:53]** A person of taqwa. Cling to these houses of Allah. Cling to these gatherings. Cling to these places. Build your relationships out of these places. And bi-idhnillahi ta'ala they'll continue to bear fruit for you. May Allah give you that connection that you seek. If I may add one more thing, Shaykh.

**[1:06:09]** I didn't get to this point. For all of us, not just for the sister who's asking the question. Sometimes our problem in our ibadah, We look at it from a very transactional point of view. Like I'm doing this in return. I need you to make me close to you.

**[1:06:24]** That kind of attitude with the ibadah. Like I want to worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to feel good. I want to worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to bring me closer to Him. There's no doubt. This is one of those noble reasons why we worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. He commands us subhanahu wa ta'ala,

**[1:06:40]** Yad'uuna khawfan wa tama'an. Out of fear of the punishment and out of also hope for the reward. Ibn Rajab rahimahullah comments on this. He says, look, yes, it is mentioned in the Qur'an that you worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala out of fear from the punishment, out of hope for the reward.

**[1:06:56]** He goes, but the most valuable way to worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is very altruistic. And he says, out of love. Which means, I only pray because I owe it to you. I only pray because you deserve this.

**[1:07:13]** I only pray because I know when I do this, this is how I'm glorifying my Lord. Like, I'm not asking anything in return. What you're really asking for will be granted if you did your part with Ihsan.

**[1:07:30]** Meaning, stop pursuing that emotional high. Stop pursuing that spiritual high in your ibadah. Because you're going to make this as a goal and you keep fighting to get it, and you're going to feel disappointed when you don't get it. Because you're expecting Allah to respond by saying, okay, bismillah, here you go.

**[1:07:46]** You're close now. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala might delay you. Why? Because He wants to hear more of your pleading, for example. He wants you to make more du'a. He wants you to be more, you know, dedicated and devoted. So therefore, stop trying to make a relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

**[1:08:01]** transaction in that sense. Yes, we do desire and crave for the reward, jannah. May Allah make us all from people of jannah, ya rabbal alameen. But we also crave, of course, and we fear jahannam and the punishment. But remember, worshiping Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in that altruistic way

**[1:08:17]** because He is Allah al-ma'bud, which means the most beloved. That's what it is. And if you worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala from that perspective, the pain, the hardships of making that ibadah will be completely, will be forgotten.

**[1:08:32]** Because, you know, when you love somebody, you're willing to sacrifice everything for them, and you won't even flinch. Not because you love them. You do it for that love. You're not expecting anything in return. So I hope inshallah the brother and the sister can think about this, you know, when you worship Allah azza wa jalla, Shaykh,

**[1:08:48]** because you owe it to Him. Because you would love to show how much you love Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and that's it. That's what I need. If Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala as well, that He reciprocates that in a certain way,

**[1:09:03]** alhamdulillah, I will take it. If Allah azza wa jalla chose to put me to more tests, I will still accept that because out of love, because I still love Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and He chose to put me through more tests, maybe this is going to bring me hopefully closer inshallah. But never ever make that expectation from that point of view.

**[1:09:20]** I just want to share two statements, Shaykh, that perhaps you can cling on to inshallah on these last moments of Ramadan, these last moments at least of this blessed odd night. The statement of Yahya al-Bakka, he said, I spoke to my Lord in a dream and I said,

**[1:09:35]** Ya Rabb, kama ad'uuk? How often I call upon you and you don't answer me. I said, Ya Yahya, inni wa hibun asma'a sawtaka. Yahya, I love to hear your voice. Allah loves to hear your voice. Like that pursuit of Him is special. And there's the saying of Ibn al-Qayyim rahimahullah,

**[1:09:52]** la ureedu illa an ureedu ma yureedu. I only want to want what He wants. Listen to it carefully. La ureedu illa an ureedu ma yureedu. I only want to want what He wants.

**[1:10:07]** My greatest desire is to only desire what He desires, or what He decrees, what He commands. Express that. Put it in your own words. Like, I'm going to tell you all, we got how many hours? Like we only have three hours or so left of this.

**[1:10:23]** Last chance. Might be the last time that you have a night in Ramadan. Just make du'a. Pour your heart out sometime for yourself. I know that, mashaAllah, it's crowded. Just for some time. Take some time to yourself. Express it.

**[1:10:38]** Ya Allah, I want to be a good Muslim. You think Allah is going to say no? Ya Allah, I want to love you. You think Allah is going to say, no, you can't love me? No. wa alladheena jahadu feena lanahdiyannahum subulana You're striving. Allah Azawajal will open up. You know, that's the whole point.

**[1:10:54]** In atani yamshi ataytuhu harwala. Hadith Qudsi. You come to me walking, I come to you running. Right? No one is going to express a desire to get close to Allah and Allah is going to shut the door in their face. That's not the Lord that we have. So just use, at some point tonight,

**[1:11:11]** use some of that time to just express that longing to long. That longing to be that person. May Allah azawajal unlock it for us. Ameen. JazakAllah khair. There's another message here

**[1:11:26]** regarding the brothers and sisters who are actually outside of the masjid. They came here early to enter the musalla so they can be part of al-hamdulillah this beautiful evening. Unfortunately, obviously, we had to close the doors because the masjid was already full.

**[1:11:42]** And many of them were disappointed being outside, unable to be here. And mashallah, I saw the videos and the pictures from the outside crowd as we were doing our khatm and our du'a. The entire area was full, mashallah.

**[1:11:57]** We ran out of tarp actually for people to pray on and also in the parking lots. It's a blessing. Alhamdulillah, we had so many people who would love to be part of this jama'ah, this community. But we would like again to apologize on behalf of ourselves, the administration,

**[1:12:13]** all the volunteers who are unable of course to open the doors for those who maybe drove a long distance just to be here because we have to also abide by the rules here and keeping the masjid, mashallah, full to the capacity

**[1:12:28]** as much as we can. So once again, I want to thank you all for being here with us, mashallah. And Ramadan, of course, is just one step and one journey of being part of this community, inshallah. So our activities will continue.

**[1:12:43]** Our programs will continue after Ramadan, inshallah. The doors will be always open, inshallah, after the month of Ramadan. So we invite you all to come and partake, inshallah, in this journey with us, inshallah. Any word you want to give to people from outside? If it's okay, Shaykh,

**[1:12:58]** do you mind if I ask you some questions? Can we get the mic before we do the questions? Can we get the microphone? I just want to ask you a few questions about your experience. Can you bring it, take it to Brother Jared, please?

**[1:13:14]** While he's doing that, Jazakum Allahu khairan. May Allah bless you all. I know I speak for myself, but I know Shaykh Yasser has the same sentiment. May Allah forgive us for what you don't know about us, and may Allah make us better

**[1:13:30]** than the opinion that you have of us, and may Allah allow us to benefit from the words that we share from you, and may Allah make us better than most ourselves. Just remember that your relationship with Allah is personal at the end of the day. You have to be able to make that personal du'a.

**[1:13:45]** Like, I get it, subhanAllah, there's something about the sentiment of when we're all making du'a together, but there's nothing like your du'a in the corner of your home when it's just you and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Just learn to talk to God. Learn to talk to Allah.

**[1:14:01]** Whatever comes, just learn to talk to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So, Jared, you embraced Islam tonight? Yes. But you've been fasting for the whole month? Yes, sir. How was that experience?

**[1:14:17]** It was different. Tell us about it. It was very different. My mom was open to Allah at first. Of course, anger, you know, controlling emotions, that's big. You know, learning how to handle a situation

**[1:14:33]** when not eating, you know, a lot of things, you know. Eating, drinking, it's a lot. It opened my mind to a lot. It really, really did. And it's a big blessing to me. I saw a lot of light in your face when you took shahadah.

**[1:14:49]** There are a lot of people that took shahadah. May Allah bless them all. But I could just see, like, satisfaction, tranquility. How does it feel to have been Muslim now for three hours? It feels great. The mic is on?

**[1:15:05]** Yeah. May Allah bless you. Just want to let you know that it was deeply moving to have you embrace Islam tonight, and we're really happy to have you as part of the community. May Allah bless you.

**[1:15:21]** We look forward to seeing you around. How are you still awake? Are you, like, on adrenaline right now? Coffee, adrenaline? Man, I don't know. None of us do.

## Other Episodes in "Midnight Majlis"
- [Loving the People Who Remember Allah | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 7](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep7-loving-the-people-who-remember-allah.md)
- [The Beauty of the Light of Allah | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 5](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep5-the-beauty-of-the-light-of-allah.md)
- [Leave Your Nafs Behind and Come to Allah | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 6](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep6-leave-your-nafs-behind-and-come-to-allah.md)
- [Freeing Yourself From Other Than Allah | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 4](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep4-freeing-yourself-from-other-than-allah.md)
- [Allah Will Love You For Your Dhikr | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 3](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep3-allah-will-love-you-for-your-dhikr.md)
- [Your Dhikr Makes You Beautiful | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 2](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep2-your-dhikr-makes-you-beautiful.md)
- [When Your Heart Makes Dhikr | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep1](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep1-when-your-heart-makes-dhikr.md)
- [Between Self-Admiration and Self-Hatred | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/between-self-admiration-and-self-hatred-midnight-majlis.md)
- [How to Become A Great Person | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/how-to-become-a-great-person-midnight-majlis.md)
- [How to Spot Fake Friends | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/how-to-spot-fake-friends-midnight-majlis.md)
- [Be Your Own Toughest Critic | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/be-your-own-toughest-critic-midnight-majlis.md)
- [When People Cause You Pain | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/when-people-cause-you-pain-midnight-majlis.md)
- [You Choose To Be Learned or Lost | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/you-choose-to-be-learned-or-lost-midnight-majlis.md)
- [Defeat Your Ego Before It Defeats You | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/defeat-your-ego-before-it-defeats-you-midnight-majlis.md)
- [How to Break Free from Anxiety | Midnight Majlis | Dr. Omar Suleiman and Sh. Yaser Birjas](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/how-to-break-free-from-anxiety-midnight-majlis.md)