# Between Self-Admiration and Self-Hatred | Midnight Majlis

**Author:** Dr. Omar Suleiman
**Series:** Midnight Majlis
**Published:** 2025-03-28
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/xRuj8xh5AFw
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/between-self-admiration-and-self-hatred-midnight-majlis
**Topics:** Acts of Worship, Sharia

## Description
The end of Ramadan is a time to redouble your efforts. Pray more, fast more—give more. Do you admire yourself? Do you see others’ faults and need for guidance but fail to see your own? And how do you prevent self-accountability from turning into self-hatred? Dr. Omar Suleiman and Sh. Yaser Birjas...

## Transcript
**[9:24]** So we'll get to that point. So he says that a person who lacks intelligence, why would he say that this is a person that lacks intelligence? Because he says that an intelligent person has the gift of tamiz. He can discern. It's the gift of discernment, right? I can sort things out, so I can analyze a situation somewhat objectively, and I can say, okay, these are faults, these are virtues, and I can attack the faults this way.

**[9:43]** And I can strengthen the virtues this way. Like think about the way that you approach business, or the way that you do like a SWOT analysis on yourself. I know it's kind of outdated, but like you analyze yourself, right? You're going to look at the opportunities, you're going to look at the threats, you're going to look at the strengths, you're going to look at the weaknesses.

**[10:03]** You're going to look at the rewards, you're going to look at the risks. So he's saying a person who's smart, who's intelligent, has the gift of discernment. And he says, but a person who's ignorant can be ignorant for one of two reasons. And he says that he can be ignorant because he's either just blind to his flaws, and this is jahilun.

**[10:23]** You know, someone who's ignorant of themselves, and it has more of the quality of the heart, of perception. It's like 'aql. 'Aql is something that's very objective, rational, right, when it's being described in these terms. So he's saying you lack rationality, but you also lack just being a self-aware person, the perception. And he says that

**[10:43]** The worst case here is when someone starts to think that these 'uyub are actually virtues, that these flaws are actually virtues. And he says, so he says that the person who has this flaw in particular of taking pride in their faults and seeing their faults as virtues is the most severely deficient. And he said there are people, he's talking about Muslim Spain, he's talking about

**[11:33]** Andalus, and he's talking about the corruption of the political class. He says there are people who take pride in zina, in fornication, in liwat, homosexuality, in theft, sariqa, in dhulm, in oppression. And he said they feel proud that they've mastered these abominations, and

**[11:48]** They revel in their power in this regard, basically the ability to do these things without being held accountable. So what he's saying here is that what he's witnessing in the corruption of the political class is that people are becoming not just flagrant in their relationships or in their

**[12:08]** Abuses of power or in their abuses of the things that Allah Azawajal has classed as kaba'ir, as major sins, but they're becoming deficient in the sense that they take pride in reveling in these things. And you might see by the way like in the English translation, liwat is translated as

**[12:28]** Child abuse, right, so it's not just homosexuality, but it's translated as child abuse in this regard. And Allah a'lam, he might be talking about the pedophilia, sodomizing of kids even and things of that sort in that time. But just disgusting features that he's seeing in society, particularly amongst the

**[12:43]** Elite classes who have normalized these things amongst themselves to where they take pride in these things now. They actually don't feel ashamed of them whatsoever. I think that Ibn Hazm says look, those who don't recognize or don't actually see themselves doing anything wrong is one of two things, whether because

**[12:58]** They don't know, and that's because this is now jahl. They don't know. They don't know what they're doing actually is wrong, because they truly genuinely don't think this is wrong. They think it's okay to do that stuff. So this basically can be removed with 'ilm. Like educate them if their objective

**[13:13]** Again, 'aql, is looking to improve themselves. And if you tell them look, this is not right, this is haram, this is wrong, this is unacceptable. If they were 'aql, you will say you know what, thank you very much for reminding me, jazakallah khair. Yeah, I know right now. The second thing he says tamiz,

**[13:28]** And tamiz over here is basically they know that it's wrong, but they just kind of deliberately blind themselves from recognizing that, like deliberately. So you tell them this is wrong, says why, how. They

**[13:43]** Know it's wrong, but they're blocking themselves from accepting that flaw because they know there's liability on that. And again, who's doing this to them? Their ego, and the shaitan using the ego, because the ego is known to be again selfish. It's actually

**[13:58]** Biased. It's always you know to try to benefit you at all costs, even if it was about damaging other person's livelihood and life and so on. So when the shaitan and the ego comes and tells you, no, actually he deserves it, she deserves it, they ask for it.

**[14:13]** If they haven't said that, if they haven't done that, I wouldn't have practiced this, or haven't actually behaved in that fashion. Like they put the blame on the victim basically, like gaslighting. Eventually at tamiz, they know it's wrong. They just don't want to recognize it. So whether because they

**[14:28]** Don't have the knowledge, and that's something that can be cured with knowledge, or they now deliberately gaslighting other people because they don't want to take any responsibility. And that requires admonition, maw'idha, ittaqillah. Listen, qalul lahi tabaraka. If they don't heed To the reminder from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, or the Sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ), then what else can remind them? How can you make them become intelligent enough to worry about themselves in the dunya and the akhira, more than just about their image, their name,

**[14:57]** Their fame, and so on. So shaykh, two comments on this by the way. The first one when it comes to tamiz, discernment, these scholars were masters of tamiz. They were masters of studying Human behavior, and they had the gift of what's known as firasa. Firasa which is, you know, you could look at someone, and you could diagnose them pretty easily. I'm not talking about

**[15:20]** Like medical diagnosis. It's about like spiritually, they could read the way that you were carrying yourself, and they could give you really powerful advice about yourself, right? So They had to protect themselves from the gift of discernment, to not pass final judgment on people. Like they actually have to protect themselves from 'ujb. They have to protect

**[15:36]** Themselves from 'ujb, from not feeling like they're better than other people, because they can look at people, and they can see things, and they could easily start to say, Well you're like this, and you're like that. So what do they do? They turn that eye inwards, and they look at themselves instead, and they scrutinize themselves in a powerful way instead.

**[15:52]** You know there's a famous incident with like Imam Shafi'i and Imam Malik, where they were Like competing, may Allah have mercy on them. Like someone's walking by, and these people were so skilled, that they could look at the way a person carries themselves, and they

**[16:11]** Could tell you what job that person does, what profession he is. So Imam Malik said he's a shepherd. Imam Shafi'i said he's a carpenter, just by looking at the way the Man walks, the way the man talks, the way he's just carrying himself. So someone went and asked the man, what do you do for a living? He said I used to be a shepherd, but now I'm

**[16:30]** A carpenter. It's like, both of them were right, right? That's the skill of their tamiz, The skill of being able to like sort things out, and like analyze people. So they had to turn that inwards. The second thing that I'd say about commenting on this, Imam Ibn Hazm is talking about like serious social corruptions. And by the way, the elite of

**[16:48]** Today are not much different from the elite back then, as you can see, right? Like serious social corruption that he's noticing amongst the elites. But there is a minor version of That too, when a person takes pride, for example, in their anger. So like you're very rude, you're very objectionable, and you say I'm just a straight shooter. I like to consider

**[17:06]** Myself like 'Umar al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه), or like Ibn Hazm, mashallah. Like someone says calm down, like you have an abusive tongue. No, I just say it like it is, and people don't like me for That. Now you just took pride, you took pride, kibr, in a bad trait, in ghadab. So you fell from two directions, and that's what he's talking about. Allah Azawajal mentions this

**[17:34]** In the Quran. [Al-Baqarah 2:206] You say to someone fear Allah, and their pride causes them to cling to that sin. No, like I'm going to do this just to spite you, just to show you that there's nothing Wrong with this whatsoever, and that this is the way that I'm going to live my life. And so that's something to point out here. Ibn Hazm, rahimahullah, when you hear or read what he's saying about those who don't really stand for the right thing, and they always claim to have big pride and bigger than what

**[17:54]** They deserve and so on, he hates them so much the way he was describing them afterwards. Like he said these are the lowest of the low, he says. He says have the certainty. No human being is free of any deficiencies except for the prophets, he says. They're

**[18:14]** The only ones who are infallible. So he says everybody else, they have deficiencies. We have flaws, we have faults. Anyone who is not recognizing their own faults, he has fallen way down there. You're at the base, basically, if you cannot say that.

**[18:39]** Like he described them in everything horrible you can imagine. They're so ridiculous, they're so stupid, they're so low, they're so very cheap, they're very, and they're just like Feebleness and all these different kind of statements he's mentioning about this individual just to drive his point across. He says look, if you're not going to be brave enough to

**[18:59]** See your own faults and recognize them, then you are at the lowest of the low. He says you are the lowest of the low and then he says I don't know any benefit from hearing about other people's flaws and faults better than taking admonition from it, taking a reminder from it.

**[19:25]** Like you need to, when you hear about people and what they do in their personal life, this is not about laughing at that story or just saying like, oh, they're so horrible people. It's not about you just gonna be amused by the story what happened there. It's about learning from it.

**[19:42]** And he says you need to learn for yourself so that at least you avoid these traits that you consider to be very negative flaws So that you avoid these traits that you consider to be very negative flaws and stay away from it and purify yourself from these kind of characteristics

**[20:02]** By the grace of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and his power. So he says look, hearing about people's flaws, this could be good for you So at least you recognize what is wrong so you can avoid it. But you speak about other people's flaws and faults

**[20:22]** That's a big, a big mistake. It's a big shame on you. Like you talk about other people's flaws and faults when you know that you have more Or if you want to be bigger than what they have. It's not even permissible to begin with. You're not allowed to talk about people like that. And your obligation is to avoid slandering people like this

**[20:43]** Unless you're advising that person or advising going to someone. Like look, you advise somebody about maybe somebody else. Listen, I know that you associate yourself with this individual. Just be careful. He's known to do one, two, three for example. So it's okay to advise someone about that matter

**[21:04]** Or maybe just admonishing the other person so you can actually kind of like give him a lesson so he would understand. But that has to be in his face, not behind his back. So it's really interesting like if you're talking about the build-up

**[21:22]** Like yesterday we talked about the simplicity of the Prophet (ﷺ). The Prophet (ﷺ) not being a pretentious person. The Prophet (ﷺ) not paying attention to like what was in front of him in terms of food or what he was wearing or like

**[21:37]** When it came to worldly things, the Prophet (ﷺ) just Took whatever because he was focused, right? So he wore whatever was around him. He rode whatever was outside his house when it came time to ride something. He walked in whatever shoes he could find or no shoes at all. Like he wasn't paying attention to these small material things

**[21:55]** Because the Prophet (ﷺ) was focused on higher priorities. So now like he's building on that concept and he's saying That the sign of a person who's ignorant of themselves Is that they talk a lot about other people. That they're paying attention to other people's flaws.

**[22:10]** And this is of course what Imam al-Hasan rahimahullah narrates. One of the signs that Allah, you know, of abandonment from God is that Is that a person becomes busy with that which doesn't concern them. May Allah have mercy on a person who became too busy with their own flaws

**[22:27]** To focus on the flaws of others. So like your priorities are out of order If you have time to talk about other people. That means you don't have sufficient time to interrogate yourself. Like to actually look deeply at your own flaws. You're not paying attention to what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

**[22:45]** Has commanded you to direct your attention to. The punishment of that is multifold. The punishment of that is of course And there's the athar of course. It's not an authentic hadith. But the athar that whoever taunts a brother for his sin, then he will not die until he commits that sin.

**[23:00]** Like you taunt someone for a sin. Allah will test you by committing that very same sin. You mock someone for committing a certain sin. Allah will put you in a situation where you will end up committing that same sin. The second thing, The Prophet (ﷺ) mentioned with the companion that was struggling with alcohol.

**[23:17]** All right. And he was coming. This is a real situation. Like alcohol was prohibited in the middle of the prophetic seerah. And there are some companions that struggled. Right. Not everyone was able to just break the bottle right away. Some of them had to break an addiction.

**[23:32]** And so you had this sahabi that struggled with alcohol. And you know some of the sahaba when they saw him drunk They cursed him. And the Prophet (ﷺ) said don't do that.

**[23:47]** Don't support his shaitan against him. Why are you supporting his devil against him? What's it going to do to him to hear in his mind The companions cursing him as well? Instead you want to build this man To know that you're bigger than your alcohol addiction. You can do better than that. But what good do you get out of beating him up when he's already down? And so what happens to you?

**[24:05]** The shaitan becomes stronger against you as well. Oh you helped that man's shaitan against him. Now your shaitan will be helped against you as well. And the third thing is that you become ignorant of yourself. You become so ignorant of yourself when your tongue is right and left and your eyes are right and left.

**[24:26]** You're not someone who's actually paying attention to your introspection because Allah did not put two hearts in a single person. You can only have one heart. Allah did not give you two sets of eyes. Allah did not give you two real sets of priorities. So basically build on the idea Like the Prophet (ﷺ) was too busy with the worldly things because he was focused on the things of the hereafter.

**[24:42]** Like he was a man on a mission. A man who had purpose (ﷺ). Likewise be busy with your own flaws. And if you come across someone else's flaws If you really care about that person, the last thing you're going to do is backbite them.

**[25:01]** That's the last thing you're going to do is backbite them. If you really care about that person You'll take them to the side. You'll say you know I love you for the sake of Allah. You're someone who is I know you to be an amazing person. You'll mention all of their good qualities

**[25:17]** In hopes that you will inspire them to live up to their better selves. And then lift them up out of that darkness. And you know what Allah might do for you as a result of that? When you hit your low point, Allah Azawajal might send you someone else as well. Send you a friend, send you a brother. Send you someone that will pull you out of the darkness as well. With the same well-wishing.

**[25:32]** With the same nasiha that you gave to somebody else. So just realize that this comes back to you In many many many ways. It talks about your present state And it bodes very badly for your future punishment in this life And in the next if you're someone that likes to talk about the flaws of other people. Shaykh Nex ibn Hazm rahimahullah ta'ala

**[25:50]** He starts counting some of these flaws right? He speaks about the boastful man. If you start to kind of pride yourself with something, how can you counter that and remind yourself to be more humble in this matter And learn about your faults. But before that he said look,

**[26:07]** You should tell the boastful man or boastful person to turn around and look at yourself. Look at your own faults. He said this should be enough for al-'aql. Again he goes back to someone who has you know sense of understanding. Al-'aql and if you remember the best virtues, he said one of them was al-fahm. That you have of course understanding of who you are, what the circumstances are.

**[26:28]** Because al-'aql will be sufficient for them to turn around, look back at their own flaws and faults. Be sufficient for them to cure yourself from that. When you know that you know being rude is not good. Being you know vulgar is not good. Being you know ruthless is not good. You can't justify that behavior no matter how much you try.

**[26:45]** And if you try to justify it that even make it make it even worse according to Ibn Hazm rahimahullah. So admitting that yes I was rude here. I was ruthless in this behavior. I acted in out of character blah blah blah. Admitting that should make the sensible person you know Recognize their flaws and fix that. That's the first. He said the second thing

**[27:07]** Don't let the shaitan deceive you by start comparing yourself to other people's flaws by saying well at least I'm not as horrible as that individual. And if you remember what he said that Shaitan deceives people with these two things. One of them is just well I'm not the worst you know of all people right. So that's the same thing over here. Well at least I'm not doing this.

**[27:23]** I did not do that. So don't you ever compare yourself to these people. A sensible person a reasonable person should always look what is better for themselves. So that's kind of like the summary of how you should understand yourself. Number one look back at your own flaws. So admit that you have flaws that needs to be fixed. Number two don't compare to those who are lower than you.

**[27:40]** That's not the standard. The standard always goes back to who? Rasulullah (ﷺ) as we spoke about this last night. So we start talking about one real point here connected to the first chapter.

**[27:55]** The very first chapter he said that what people want is security. And no one wants to feel insecure. And so there is it takes courage to actually be willing to scrutinize yourself. And you have to be secure with yourself to be able to apologize to people.

**[28:10]** Because you're not worried about the repercussions of apology. You're not worried about like looking in the mirror and assessing yourself. And saying wait a minute like I have these problems. Like it's uncomfortable when you come to the realization That you might not have been the Musa (عليه السلام) but you might have actually been the Fir'awn this whole time.

**[28:27]** Like it's very uncomfortable extremely uncomfortable to look in the mirror and be like whoa actually I'm the problem. So this is a this is this is about security as well. Like it's okay for a husband to apologize to their wives. Yeah and wives to apologize to their husbands. It goes both ways.

**[28:43]** Absolutely. Because of course you know children to parents and parents to children. There's nothing even parents You know subhanAllah by the way even parents with their children. Like subhanAllah your kids will respect you more. Your kids will respect you more when you show them vulnerability.

**[29:02]** Like there's there are studies about this to say like you know what Baba you were right I appreciate that. Your kid might you know puff up his chest a little bit too much initially. But like it'll actually build like a respect because you're showing your children integrity. When you insist upon fault you're showing them the might is always right.

**[29:21]** Right what value are we teaching them subhanAllah. Yeah so you're not teaching them any values. Understand. Now he starts talking about see these these flaws or how we deceive ourselves with some of these qualities. Thinking that we are you know at the top right. He goes look.

**[29:43]** Because if you're so proud of your intelligence and you're you're so smart basically like I'm so smart I'm so intelligent right. Because if you're so smart then think about this. Remember all the bad thoughts that come into your mind. Every time that you think you're so smart Remember the dumb ideas you had before.

**[30:03]** Like basically we all had dumb ideas seriously. Things right now when we think when you remember these thoughts And these ideas and things we've done because we thought it was a smart idea. You want to bury your first in your subhanAllah between your knees. You cover yourself. He says look we all have these bad ideas and dumb ideas. So don't don't tell me that you're so smart that you've never thought of something horrible

**[30:21]** Or deceitful to be careful with this. And always thinking that you're smart and you build hopes false false hopes. You start building any dreams of uh uh of the future

**[30:38]** And there has no base to them like there is no plan. There is no there's no resources to it. It's just a matter of just sitting there dreaming big when you're still uh sipping your cup of coffee doing nothing. So he basically said look if you think you're smart then remember you're gonna have to work on this.

**[30:53]** You have to make sure to remember that sometimes I do I do think of of dumb ideas. And it's okay as long as you admit your faults and you should be fine inshallah.

**[31:09]** So the first was about intelligence or being smart or otherwise. The second one he goes. Because if you're so uh proud of your opinions. You know some people are very opinionated right. No matter how much you try there is no way they're gonna yield. When they hold on to an opinion for them it's sacred.

**[31:28]** Because if you think that your opinion is the the way and the only way to see things. Remember when you had such strong uh feeling about these opinions before and it proved to be wrong.

**[31:48]** And it drops you so so down there and and hurt you and embarrassed you. You guys remember this. On this note you know how like we have this tendency like someone looks back at the past and says I remember when I was sitting with them. I told them that if we do this then this is gonna happen. They didn't listen to me. And that's why we're in this disaster that we're in right now. Like everyone has that opinion about the American Muslim community by the way right.

**[32:07]** Like you know 10 years ago we were sitting in this person's living room and I said this and they didn't listen to me. And that's why all the American Muslim leaders did this and this and this and that. And that's why everyone is in the situation that they're in right now. I had it right no one else had it right. All right a microcosm of that if you're that if you're an I told you so person.

**[32:26]** Imagine how many times someone else could say I told you so. Imagine how many times your opinion was total nonsense. Like you got something so wrong with your opinion. So it's nice to cling on to the opinions that we were right about that. You know in our in our in our minds and they would have materialized perfectly.

**[32:46]** Right like the perfect world like everything would have gone according to plan if everyone followed my opinion. Right but because they took that inferior opinion that's why everything collapsed. Well you know many times alhamdulillah people didn't listen to you. Or someone didn't take your opinion right because your opinions were not always right. So he's saying think of all the times you were wrong like in your life.

**[33:02]** And realize that your opinion is not that infallible. You're not as you're not as as bright as you think you are. And I think that goes back to the statement we mentioned last night from Babish Shafiq rahimahullah wa ta'ala. When he says look when I debate people I always begin by reminding myself and reminding them like listen he said.

**[33:17]** Qawli sawab yahtamilul khata wa qawluka khata yahtamilul sawab. Like my opinion to me is wrong is right but it might be wrong. Your opinion to me is wrong but you might be right. Basically he says when I start debating with people I'm looking for for the truth being a very objective.

**[33:37]** And the truth is never subjective in these matters. So he said look I'm looking for the truth help me understand it. But to me so far based on my research based on my understanding based on my work I've done everything in my power and this is my opinion. So for me that's the truth. If you can prove me wrong with evidence and proof I'll take it from you.

**[34:01]** If you live your life with such an attitude towards you know your opinion. Wallah you'll be okay you'll be fine. You won't feel you know hurt if people said no you're wrong or object to your opinions or maybe give another suggestion. Or maybe just modification or trying to compromise with you. It would be easy for you to say you know what okay.

**[34:26]** He didn't mind people correcting him in opinions right. In the battle of Badr when the Prophet (ﷺ) he chose the location for the for the camping. To have the muslim army to camp and he did his own plan on it. So al-Hubab al-Mundhir came to the Prophet (ﷺ). Qal ya rasulallah. Is that location Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala command you to take as a position for our army.

**[34:49]** Or that the strategy of war. The Prophet (ﷺ) said no actually that's the strategy of war. I thought to be a good a good location. He goes if that's the case ya rasulallah I have a better plan. We should take this location that location. And the Prophet (ﷺ) he liked his suggestion. He goes you know what you're right let's do that. And that is the Prophet (ﷺ).

**[35:11]** He didn't mind an average sahabi that probably maybe some of us never heard his name before. Probably never heard of the name al-Hubab al-Mundhir. And not knowing who is that was that a sahabi even. Yeah and he was the man behind the strategic location for the battle of Badr. That today today many people when they go to umrah

**[35:28]** They drive two and a half hours three hours out of Medina all the way. All the way to Badr to see the the site of the battlefield. Subhanallah. We gotta pause with this because it's so profound. Because an insecure leader hates being corrected. Of course.

**[35:43]** Or hates being like like taking anyone's opinion like immediately like defensive. Do you realize in every major episode of the Prophet (ﷺ)'s life He took shura and he welcomed the companions to like weigh in. And the most quote-unquote insignificant companions were able to weigh in every single time.

**[36:06]** Badr and Uhud right the Prophet (ﷺ) took their opinion. And by the way the Prophet (ﷺ) you know he himself (ﷺ) indicated that Would have preferred that they fought inside the city. They went out to the to the to the Jabal Uhud instead right.

**[36:23]** The hypocrites made this the excuse by which they abandoned the believers. Because they said oh you know it was our opinion that we should fight inside Medina not go out to Uhud. And then they you know decimated the army the night before the battle of Uhud. Because how dare he right they're always looking for an excuse. Khandaq Salman al-Farisi (رضي الله عنه).

**[36:43]** This man is a persian who's never fought a single battle alongside the muslims because he was enslaved and he was only freed from slavery after Uhud. And in Khandaq he's giving his opinion to the Prophet (ﷺ). This is seriously consequential he says you know i think In persia we used to build these ditches. We used to build these ditches to protect ourselves from the onslaught of the roman cavalry.

**[36:59]** And the Prophet (ﷺ) loved his idea. Every single episode like the Prophet (ﷺ) loves to let people speak. And he gives them their room and that's the sign again of a secure leader like he's he's okay with that he welcomes that type of feedback. He welcomes that type of environment around him so everyone who is a leader in their space then be secure with yourself to invite that type of shura.

**[37:22]** And that's only going to build everything and everyone around you. And it's going to demonstrate bid'ah night on a prophetic integrity. You know shaykh in the scheme of things and if we zoom out a little bit and look at the macro level of things of decision making let's say in leadership. Our ulama even they taught us this. Al-khata' fi janib al-jama'a awla min al-sawab fi janib al-fard.

**[37:47]** Like being wrong on the side of the jama'a better than being right on your own. What does that mean basically some leaders they think because it's my opinion And i think it's the right thing to do and even if they were right. They say you see i told you so he says but strategically speaking from a term from A leadership position that is dangerous and it's absolutely wrong because you might be right on your own. But if that build resentment with your with your with your crowd and shura and and you know the second

**[38:12]** Level leadership and so on it can really kill the jama'a on the long term. Yeah but being wrong while the jama'a supports each other said look. This is our opinion so let's do it. You should be fine an example of this Uhud in an Nabi (ﷺ). What was his opinion? He said let's stay in the city and and and and bunker in the city and protect ourselves and eventually

**[38:33]** Because they have the numbers we don't the younger ones to say what no. Yeah so law we need to go out so the professor said okay then the majority say let's go out will go out. He went against his own opinion (ﷺ). Because he knew that being wrong on the side of the jama'a

**[38:48]** Still better than being you know right on the side of the lease of a happy about it. Not when I talk about truth and falsehood. Strategy an opinion it's so so profound. So I hope that people understand here that what he's saying rahimahullah ta'ala is like he said look at the end.

**[39:04]** He thought he said rahimahullah. In fall to that if I call you a holic and he was in a support or a cassava. But he said look if you if you know that you make mistakes and sometimes you have seen that other people's opinion were better than yours.

**[39:20]** Because if you're gonna compare yourself to other people then you will see that you'll go even. Because sometimes you're right. Sometimes you're wrong. Sometimes they're wrong. Sometimes they're right. So you go even he said that's the that's the best situational scenario. However it's a reality. He said reality. We all were more wrong than right is most of the time. We are more wrong than we are right. So that's a what a beautiful young thing.

**[39:45]** This is for everybody he says is for everybody except Ella and the Pina Salawa to Allah Ta'ala Ali him. God rahimahullah.

**[40:00]** When I jipped a be a Malik and if you're now so proud of your your good deeds you're doing so much mashallah. Special Ramadan you know I shall alright like if you think that you've done so great in the modern now. You're sitting down and sipping your cup of coffee at the Yemeni cafe again right. And

**[40:17]** Then it is like severe your identity right and it's like this Ramadan was amazing. I think I've done a better than last Ramadan. I'm the normal man. I know someone here who said he drank five cups before he got here. Well I like what. So I'm gonna call him out it's alright they shall love that but. The idea here it says like if you think that your deeds are so good alpha to think of him I see remember your sins. When you start thinking about your best deeds mashallah said remember you made mistakes you made sins.

**[40:44]** Color feet a cyrica and when you feel short a little bit from doing the right thing not necessarily a sin. Less than a sin but you fell short from being perfect. Well if he my she cow would you he for a lot of the dinner Mandela. Ka my ugly boy on a query. He says when you look at your flaws and your fault and livelihood and in your opinions in your by that and so on. He said you will see for yourself. You will see that you have done so much wrong. You wronged yourself.

**[41:02]** Basically more than what you've done right for yourself. I love you. I feel it covers. Unfortunately yeah and you're good and so on now. I want to also put a disclaimer over here. I've been hazard rahimahullah that here is not really trying to put people pull people down like never ever feel good about the clay that you do because the Prophet (ﷺ) says if he says call it a sort of Hassanatuka. What's that. Kasai yet a phantom omen if you're pleased with the good deed that you make and This pleased with the bad deed that you do. That's a sign of Iman. So hamdulillah if you're pleased with your good deed the problem is that you when you start thinking that you're you've done so much good.

**[41:25]** Now don't wrong can catch up with you anymore. That's what it becomes a problem. There's the story that always comes to my mind in this regard is a little bit of the Nazis. Allah 'Umar bin Abdul Aziz was the governor of Medina initially when he was 25 years old. He was appointed as the governor of Medina. He's known as the as the the one who joined Khalifa Rashidin even though he didn't live immediately after them meaning what like

**[41:43]** He is in the same league as Khalifa Rashidin as the best of the Khalifa and when he was the governor of Medina. He was also known for upholding justice in Medina. He was governor for seven years young governor. But he had to administer one time a punishment on behalf of the Khalifa who was his uncle Abdul Malik ibn Marwan and The Khalifa ordered the punishment of a young man named Khubayb. Not the famous Khubayb ibn Adi (رضي الله عنه) another young man. He's the son of Abdullah ibn Zubayr (رضي الله عنه).

**[42:01]** And so there was that that you know that rivalry between them and Bani Umayyah and he had to carry out a punishment. He was just following the orders of his superior right and he remembered carrying out that punishment and he remembered the trembling of Khubayb in that punishment and he he was so mad at himself for doing that. Now for the rest of his life he regretted that and subhanAllah. He became the epitome of justice 38 years old.

**[42:18]** He becomes the Khalifa of the Ummah and he establishes justice that will not be seen until the time of Jesus. 'Isa (عليه السلام) which is what that you can't I mean he rid the Ummah of poverty and injustice to the point that they couldn't find anyone to take Zakah in like large swaths in Africa.

**[42:34]** And Asia he was he was doing so much good. And so people would praise him. Oh 'Umar bin Abdul Aziz. Oh 'Umar bin Abdul Aziz and when anyone would praise him for the justice that he established. He put his head down and he'd start crying and say wakafe be Khubayb.

**[42:49]** But what about what I did to Khubayb. But what about what I did to Khubayb. But what about what I did to Khubayb. SubhanAllah like the one sin that he committed in Qada in that judgment that injustice kept him humble in such a way that he felt like he had to pursue

**[43:04]** Justice his entire life to make up for that sin that he committed in his youth as a governor of Medina. That is beautiful profound tragic all at the same time. Right because Allah Azza Jal will make it up to Khubayb. Well the Allah Ta'ala I know but also it kept 'Umar bin Abdul Aziz.

**[43:20]** Well the Allah knows the person that he was so people lavish the praises on him and he says no. I'm not I'm not that great person. I made a mistake. You keep talking about me establishing the sense of justice. I know who I am. I know that I messed up in my youth. That reminds me with his great-grandfather 'Umar al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه). I don't know that was the same thing too that he sometimes he would sit down reminding my himself and says.

**[43:44]** Hey I have no Khattab like oh wow. Now people keep saying I'm your money. They have a mirror money. I mean money is coming in as is leaving out and like don't forget yourself. Basically don't let this in again come into your head. SubhanAllah. This is someone like 'Umar al-Khattab that the Prophet (ﷺ) say that if the Shaitan sees you coming one way.

**[43:59]** He's gonna run away for the other side. That is the man. He is putting himself right now to account and he's do more Hassa but like he's just got reckoning with with his reality. Like look I'm being a mirror. Oh my god. This is you shouldn't come into my head. Someone like 'Umar al-Khattab of course I need a. The fruit doesn't fall away from the tree subhanAllah and 'Umar bin Abdul Aziz is a grandson of 'Umar al-Khattab.

**[44:14]** But I know what I'm saying now comes to the subject of I'm he said. I don't know I give to be I'll make if you said it becomes so part of your knowledge like mashallah. You see yourself to become very knowledgeable person. Follam and no la Casa de la cafe. Well no more hibbiton. We're going to wahabica. Yeah. Yeah. What I said you have to understand that the knowledge that you have. It's not. There's no credit to you in it. It's a gift that Allah subhana has granted you. It's all a gift.

**[44:32]** He's gonna explain why it's considered a gift and he started give an example because he says beware that in that end. You're not practicing everything. That's one of your flaws. Part of the time you you forgot a lot of it and. Usually sometimes you forget some of that and because of certain things you go through and he mentioned sometimes you go through some trauma.

**[44:53]** That you forget about that and completely like he's a the example of one of his friends or one of the other mouth of his. Time Abdul Malik even party. He said this man he went and You know and in the sea and he encountered the near-death experience. That he freaked out because of which when he came back he forgot a lot of the end that he had.

**[45:11]** Like he was went through trauma like with extreme excessive extreme fear that when he came back to land. He he forgot a lot of the end. He wasn't the same person anymore and he himself admitted about himself. I got sick. He said I got so much sick that somehow that sickness. Caused me so much pain that I forgot a lot of the end. It took me a year took me years to regain that him that I lost because of that. So what he's saying he said look being a an alam or someone was knowledge. You can easily lose that.

**[45:29]** Besides he said remember it's only a gift from Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. How so he says here. What I'm an a kathira man ahl al-hirs al-ilm yajiduna fil qiraa said you understand that those who are studious when come to seek. Knowledge they they spend so much time in reading. What a kababia let that's what follow and they put their self themselves there on the on the road to seek knowledge and Acquiring that knowledge summa lawyers a quinnam in who had and they don't get much of it. Of all the time they spend in seeking and my knowledge not much really is gained or taken. Yeah and it did they take with them for the alum do the only and no cannibal ikba be wahda la canna. If it was a matter how much time you spend in learning then some other people might be more knowledgeable than you are.

**[45:46]** But you can tell it's a more Hebrew from Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. Shaykh I've noticed that in Medina as well as well as a students and students in Medina. I mean You know it's interesting subhanAllah. I mean in our of course class. We had around around two thousand three thousand students and these students they come from all around the world. You talk about students coming from Asia from Africa from Europe from all around the world and subhanAllah. You meet some of these students. They're unbelievably knowledgeable people.

**[46:01]** But then when you recognize today if I can tell you how many of these two thousand that I know are active in Dawa or even in seeking and spreading knowledge or teaching and so on. They're they're handful. Yeah not so many people they maintain that. So yeah. If you think that you are that knowledgeable part the new Adam of Masha the next generation when the last was then. Remember generations before you lost so much of that knowledge. I'd also bring that subhanAllah to to remove it just from the realm of like Islamic knowledge.

**[46:17]** If Allah has given you a couple intelligence you're just smart. You just pick up on things really really easy. You just have a gift of discernment. Then that can be your greatest blessing or it could be actually your greatest test. Because you could become so arrogant that you even rejected the Prophet (ﷺ). Right there are those that rejected the Prophet (ﷺ) on the basis of what rationality not realizing.

**[46:33]** That in the process of rejecting faith on the basis of rationality. They actually became the biggest idiots but like you see someone. You know I always marvel like you got the professor who knows every little thing about this cell and and the intricate details of creation. But somehow they're an atheist and then you've got the doctor who understands the details of how many things could go wrong in a person's body and how

**[46:48]** Sophisticated this creation from Allah is and that makes them a stronger believer. So the differentiation is not really what's stored in here that can be a test for you. It's about how you're internalizing all of that. So there are a few few things to take from here number one for a quality the alman Ali. Above everyone that has knowledge is one who has more knowledge. So if you think you know there's someone that knows more than you.

**[47:03]** Number two that knowledge was bestowed upon you by Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala for a purpose. Weaponize it in the wrong way. You'll become the greatest loser. Number three. Allah Azawajal just as he as your brain was developing when you were in the womb and then as you came into this world and you naturally every year you got older and You could speak better you could you could perceive better you could discern more. How long don't we see the example of people that are tested as well.

**[47:18]** It's honestly it's the hardest thing to see someone who is very knowledgeable. Someone who is very scholarly someone who who knew so much and then you know they get old and You know they can't they can't they don't even know the names of their family anymore. No may Allah help help them and help their families. Truly humbling like other than a normal like people go back to that or someone has an accident or someone goes through trauma.

**[47:33]** They just like completely slip they forget everything. Allah's showing that that when you what when you wake up in the morning and you're thanking Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala for Your ability to do this or your ability to eat or like just the ability to think say alhamdulillah for that the ability to comprehend. That's why the the you know what. What a bizarre. Kalina matash cool.

**[47:48]** Hearing sight and FIDA perception the faculty of perception. Okay there's so much that comes from that. So this is really a very profound point because he's saying like look. That can all be taken away from you with one hit and then you don't remember anything and it's completely taken away from you. So use that knowledge properly. The second part of the Shaykh is. Maybe how do you think someone someone can carry knowledge. You know men who have come in home to someone that actually gets it better than them.

**[48:03]** When you're sincere in your pursuit of knowledge when you're perceptive when your eyes are open. Your heart is open. Your ears are open you hear something from someone and you develop so much more benefit from that because they sell in. Capital to the way out. Knowledge is not the abundance of narrations as Imam Malik rahimahullah says but it's a new it's a light that Allah puts in the heart of the believer that he

**[48:18]** Sees with so the Shaykh gives a boring khutba not Shaykh. Yes of course a. Shaykh gives a boring khutba which you consider boring right now. I'm being serious really boring khutba. Oh it sounded so basic. You know you mock it someone else is paying attention and somehow. They just turned that khutba into a PhD thesis. I'm serious. I know people like this. I sit with someone who oh that seems so basic and that didn't seem like all that. But they were paying their hearts were open.

**[48:33]** Their ears were open their eyes were open and like. They grasped something from that like that one hadith that basic hadith that was mentioned that one ayah. But that careful in the victory 10 final meaning the reminder benefits the believer. They they took it in and they soaked it. They absorbed it and subhanAllah they came out with something beautiful and so Realize that knowledge is not just an affair of the mind. It's an affair of the heart. It's an affair of perception and your sins your arrogance. How can arrogance block knowledge. I got nothing. I can't benefit from this person.

**[48:48]** What's that guy gonna teach me. What's what's he gonna say. That's a value to me. What am I gonna learn from this person. Whatever he's wrong. He's an uncle. Right. So he's an uncle. So what do they know. Anyway no one says that about me. I The first time I heard that I was actually people I did hear that a few times I did hurt the. It's coming. I know it's happened a few times already first time wasn't actually in a conference when they introduced me.

**[49:03]** The lady was that the news me she said. He is the best uncle you can have in your life. And I'm like that's efficient now. But to the point Shaykh subhanAllah how Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala gifts people knowledgeable life and. Because Allah might have prepared them for something and I want to ask you. And he mentioned something really personal from my personal experience when I was in Medina or came to Medina University. Aslan I didn't even want to apply to Medina University.

**[49:18]** It was my friend because I was studying engineering. I was supposed to be going to Germany to finish my education there. So my flight my friend after the war in Kuwait he goes look we need to go to do him. Right. You want to come with me. He says I'll come he goes bring your papers. You might apply to Medina says man. I'm an engineer. What are you gonna take from me and in Jamia Islamia. Let's bring your paper. You're not gonna lose anything. So we go with the umrah and we go we apply we get accepted and they're like what. They accepted me smell. Ah I go there will lie.

**[49:33]** I am coming from engineering background all these people coming from ten years eight years for studying Islamic studies in their. High school and middle school from their countries and they came there. I was I was really I kind of like I felt out of place to be honest with you. So I was doing more effort to study and that was that was a secret to it. Subhan Allah. I wasn't putting much energy more effort to study because I wanna I want to make sure I I can be with these people at that same level subhan Allah and

**[49:48]** To my surprise and the biggest shock obviously which is I don't want people to take this on in the wrong way. But I was surprised and shocked when the for after the first semester the result came out and back then. They used to post everybody's grades you know to the public to see. And they put them in in the highest rank to the lowest rank so they know who's the top students and who's the failing students. By name. This is how it used to be. Subhan Allah. I was shocked and he won one of those nights come back from Medina from Jamas in the beast of Allah Salaam.

**[50:03]** And the students coming to me says congratulations. Just like what happened because you're the top student. I'm like what I. Couldn't believe that I go there and my name is in the top. I was like what happened there. Subhan Allah but it was so distressing experience because that brought attention. I wasn't ready for a. Lot of students. Oh so this is that and I was like what's going on here. I mean guys this is some after share. This is some after Imam. I'm an engineer.

**[50:18]** Basically it just didn't help much of Hana the following year. I did something. Yeah to the extent I could say. Self sabotage I did not study. I did not study for the exams. Deliberately and that dropped me from top students somewhere. Yeah I live number 13 only. But subhanallah and to the point this is one of my point coming in actually because Allah subhana send you guides in a way that. You don't even actually get it comprehend.

**[50:33]** One of those days one of my teachers Shaykh Mahmood Assad. I'll let global hair. He teaches also the film he calls me because come over here Danny answer I said yes sure. He goes I know what you're doing. I'm like what. Says I know what you're doing. What are you trying to do. I said what do you mean. Sure. He goes don't do this. Because I don't know. Why you're here for but Allah subhanaw taala brought you for a reason.

**[50:48]** So Allah brought you for a reason not because of you so if I if he has given you a gift don't let it go to waste. Well I he shook my core. I even when I remember those words still give me goosebumps right now subhanAllah. Like it's like a wake-up call. It's like whoa. What do you mean by that and SubhanAllah since that moment alhamdulillah I regain my. My level of studies at the university of the Jamia for like the water cover to Allah but then.

**[51:03]** 30 years later here we are sitting here. So I just want to give people a jama'a if Allah subhanaw taala open your heart to a path of guidance if Allah subhanaw taala has put you on the path of seeking knowledge and You find alhamdulillah the path is getting easier when I say easier relatively speaking. Easier in terms of love and passion and an attachment to him not that the path to seek is gonna be very simple and easy. No but if that's the case. Try to see that the North Star. I mean by that what does Allah subhan want you to do with this. Where are you heading with that.

**[51:18]** Whether it's in Islamic studies whether it's becoming an engineer or a doctor or a teacher or whatever that is. Allah subhanaw taala might be opening path for you jama'a. So make sure to appreciate that inshallah. I don't don't think that you're better than anybody else. Those are the people that you don't see much Allah has chosen it for something else different than yours. I may be better than your path but that's basically what come to the subject of knowledge of a just a. Tangent and it's always to take us far away from this.

**[51:33]** Imam Ibn Hazm rahimahullah ta'ala then he says God when I get to be shajah attic. If you are so proud of your courage and you being so brave. He says then examine what would you do with that courage with that Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala has granted you what have you done with it. You are strong. You're mashallah. You're a big person. You're able to do so much. Alhamdulillah but I mean with that. But what did you do with that courage. Where did it go.

**[51:48]** Are you benefiting the poor the needy your community your family your household. Are you just spending it only just to. Brag about being a tough guy and doing nothing about it. So that's something. So how much interest it goes in so after I feel myself and to ahmad. He says if you're gonna be spending your courage to do some brave about breaking the rules and. So you think that you're so brave to commit the sin and brag about it because you're a fool.

**[52:03]** You need to make sure that your courage is used for the right reason inshallah. You know. Like you think about the Sahaba one of the things I always think about is that every sahabi once you study. Sira like deep enough. You'll know that every sahabi has an equivalent from the disbelievers that has like an identical personality that could have been like that sahabi. Every single one of them subhanAllah has like their match. Right Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) Abdullah bin Jada'an study his cousin. He noted to have similar characteristics.

**[52:18]** 'Umar (رضي الله عنه) who's 'Umar's peer from the from the disbelievers. Abu Jahl. All right like the Prophet (ﷺ) said oh Allah I you know Allah may I said Islam. Oh Allah give victory to Islam to the more beloved of the two of 'Umar's to you. 'Umar ibn al-Khattab and 'Umar ibn Hisham both strong like leadership qualities. Abu Jahl had great leadership qualities but he used them in evil. 'Umar (رضي الله عنه) went out to kill the Prophet (ﷺ) and then transformed and now the Muslims are

**[52:33]** Lining up behind him. He he used those qualities for good. Every one of the companions had that that that equivalent sometimes. It's their past life like Khalid bin Waleed (رضي الله عنه). Look how much we praise him. Look how beloved Khalid bin Waleed is to the Muslims but when Khalid was on the other side he was so hated. He used all that that that military skill all that strategy against the Muslims. But then Allah guided him and he used it for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala.

**[52:48]** So point is like if Allah gave you like these strong gifts. Use them for khair use them for good Imam al-Hasan al-Basri rahimahullah has a comment. Where he says like the nafs is like a horse. Yourself is like a horse. I think it's something to really think about so he says what is the what's the worst type of horse. So he gives three types of horses I know it's late at night it's too late it's after 2 a.m. He says there's a horse. That's so weak that it can't even move you from point A to point B.

**[53:03]** That's a weak personality. Like you have no you're not really trying to build yourself. You're not trying to move anywhere. You're not really doing anything. It's just like weakness. Then he said there's a horse that's out of control. That you can't get the reins on. Right so that's pride and conceit and and courage is reckless but you have all these strong personality types. But you don't know how to get it in order right. You got a sharp tongue. That could be sharp and good. But you don't know how to stop cutting people up you got a sharp brain that could be you know

**[53:18]** Discerning and good and like really mastering strategies and thinking about things which you don't know how to shut it off and and. And you know not shut it off but but discipline it. Right you have all these personality types. So don't have a reckless horse that just goes all over the place and don't have a horse. That's dead doesn't move. Strong personalities are good strong traits are good. But you got to have the reins on them and know how to control it and know how to exert those things and things. That are blessed especially with something like courage use that courage for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala and for standing for justice.

**[53:33]** Don't use it against your brothers and your sisters a village in our movie. No I said to know how to Dean you got to be able to know when to turn it on turn it off. If you if you have Shaja courageous only against your brothers and sisters but then. Once you're facing the actual enemies of Islam you have no courage whatsoever. What does that say about you. Right. What does that actually say about your personality. Well I mean there are so many points Shaykh that my husband rahimahullah I mentioned in regard to these flaws.

**[53:48]** I wanted to go over them inshallah on your own in the book. He talks about if you think if you become so proud of your wealth. If you think that you because you're handsome and beautiful. If you think that you're good because you know. Your ancestors are where so-and-so. So all that he brings all these things that you brag and you boast about and how you can cure yourself from this. And then he came to the final point that would like to close with inshallah. When he says. You have to understand it like this trying to cure yourself is not gonna be simple.

**[54:03]** He says and he gave an example. I'll warm them and the reality enough. I'll stop him and reality asset is to remember that it's so harder to tame your own self than taming a wild. Beast or lion over here because the other was the either so you not lions if they put in cages in cages basically. Filled beautiful it is the technical animal look when the Kings they they. Domesticate lions basically and they put them into cages.

**[54:18]** He says they will be safe from the from the harm that might come from these lions because they're behind the bars. They're in cages right. But when Nafsu were in so Jeanette the muamman shall Roja. But as for your nafs your own self your own nafs even if you put it. Behind behind any bars or you cage yourself. There is no safety. There's no guarantee of safety from the evil of your own self. That's such a powerful statement especially with Ramadan.

**[54:33]** Look let's say that you know when we go through these these money cats when we go through these destructive flaws. You were like I don't have that problem. I don't have that problem. I'm not this person. I'm not that person. Even if you never were. Study how to keep those things away from you forever because you never know what disease you could develop while you're not paying attention. How often do you see people that are physically healthy all of a sudden get afflicted with a disease. It doesn't match up right and sometimes there's a there's a level of neglect.

**[54:48]** Right they're neglecting a certain element of their health consistently. And so something develops as a result of that when it comes to your spiritual health. Even if none of these lowly traits fit you now. Then you have to be vigilant because they can come back. So even if you if you've managed to cage them if Allah gave you victory over them you need to actually think about. How did you reach a point. What was the low point that you reached in your life that made them that allows you to be exploited and. Got you pulled into it in the first place.

**[55:03]** So that you can make sure that you keep it out for the long run. And you also need to make sure that you fill your time fill your effort fill your mind fill your heart with that. Which is good so that the Shaitan can't visit you. Busy you with that which is evil and pull you away from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Say I'm a jackal. I'll be good for this beautiful presentation before we take questions. I'm Dilla and this blessed night of the month of Ramadan. We have a.

**[55:18]** Shahada I would like to shout to conduct a Shahada a sister. She would like to share a sister right that she wants to give her Shahada inshallah Tabaraka wa ta'ala. So I hope she's ready inshallah as a good. Sister. What is your name sister. Mel C. I'll see Allah bless you. Welcome to your new home. Welcome to your new community. Welcome to your new family.

**[55:33]** May Allah allow this journey of yours to be blessed always and may he turn this page. Into one of eternal good and grant you forgiveness and grant you grace and grant you his reward and this life in the next. I mean. You're gonna repeat after me first. We'll do it in Arabic and then we'll do in English inshallah. So slowly in Arabic say ash hadu. Ash hadu and. La la ilaha ila. Allah. Wa. Wa. Wa what. No what as in like think don't don't don't feel bad.

**[55:48]** Why as in like WA what what ash hadu. Anna. Mohammedan. Rasool. Allah I. Bear witness I bear witness that there is only one God that there's only one God and that. Mohammed and that Mohammed is his final messenger. It's his final master. Be it. Welcome to your new family of faith. Welcome to your new faith and inshallah all of these sisters will. Be with you and we hope to see you around inshallah Valley Ranch Islamic Center always.

**[56:03]** So we take a few questions inshallah before we break for side to hedge it been the last so again. So. The question is about good pride versus kibber. Good pride versus kibber so when hasn't my him Allah. He mentions that his best qualities to be that he has. No value for anyone who disagrees with him when he believed that he is right even if they mounted to the whole world.

**[56:18]** How do we distinguish between the ability for most of these scholars to have. Immense pride and their knowledge and the pride that is considered kibber. How do we differentiate between these two things because a very fine line here between being you know both for being really on your right. Yeah so so I'm not sure if you all heard the question but how do we distinguish between. Pride. Unhealthy pride and. And that which is actually somewhat beneficial the answer to that is first and foremost. Who do you attribute the blessing to.

**[56:33]** You attribute it to Allah not to yourself. Anything that Allah has given you of a quality. Whether it's knowledge or generosity or a good trait that you find within yourself. Say it. How did it offer that. Thank Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala for it know that Allah gave you a blessing so attribute the blessing to him not to yourself. Right so it's not like you'll notice that all the tyrants in the Quran. That are mentioned right whether it's for their own or how about or whatever it may be they attribute I did this I attained this.

**[56:48]** This was been in me. I I got myself to this point. You didn't get yourself to any point. You would be nowhere without Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala not in your physical strength your mental strength or your spiritual strength your blessings. Everything that you have was unlocked by Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. So keep yourself humble. The second thing is that you praise the blessing itself and. You. Recognize that no matter how much of the virtue you have attained because we're talking about virtues here right. How much of the virtue you've attained you still have a deficiency in that very same virtue because no matter how much of that virtue.

**[57:03]** You have you have not attained the level of the Prophet (ﷺ) in that virtue. So you still have a nucks you still have a deficiency within that very same virtue. And then the third thing is to recognize that even if you've attained some of those virtues you still have vices. That may offset the virtues and you need to focus on doing away with those vices. To keep yourself humble so that you always see yourself as a lifelong project. You are an experiment until the moment that you die.

**[57:18]** Intro the. Moral theory and moral foundation has been debated for thousands of years between the scars from all. The spectrum of religion and. Theology and philosophy and it boils down to two main differences between. Revelation and reason and. Some people they say. Now my question in the Islamic world. There's a big group.

**[57:33]** But there is a group of Muslims who claim that their virtues come from revelation. However or there they stand on revelation. Foundation in their morals however we see them they. Don't have any of those virtues that have been hasn't mentioned like a laden. They don't have that. They don't have a Jude.

**[57:48]** They don't have a fan. They don't even have the Maroua and one nudge them and I probably know what I'm talking about. Now this is turning into political. Which makes me doubt either those people or less of a hollow the revelation. So how can we reconcile and make me personally understand that those people who claim. Their moral foundations is. Based on revelation. However we see them probably the most corrupt in my opinion in their behavior and their virtues.

**[58:03]** Yeah I mean I'll answer it from a. From the perspective of how the Prophet (ﷺ). Spoke about the natural virtues that people were able to acquire and things that Allah Azawajal put inside of people in terms of fitra and. They were acquired through multiple experiences now. So my I didn't feel I could forget it. Yeah I don't come to Islam. People are like precious stones the best of you in days of ignorance are like are the best of you in Islam either. Fakihoo if you have knowledge that someone can be generous someone can be just someone can be oriented towards good values.

**[58:18]** And then revelation comes and gives that some definition it refines it it perfects it and. It does away with the things that can. Contradict it right but that there is no there's no problem in Islam to say that someone has. Good morals and if only they would become Muslim or Islam can perfect and purify and. Refine and beautify and that the greatest moral is. Or the greatest threshold of morality is.

**[58:33]** To worship the God that created you is to obey the one that brought you into existence. Is to attribute all good to the one who originates all good like that that is ultimate morality and that to deny. Like we wouldn't say about someone who denies their parents that that's a moral human being. Someone had good parents and they mistreated their parents and said my parents never did anything for me in life. There might be some good things that that person doesn't like but we would we wouldn't dare call that like a moral human being a. Person who has absolute morality.

**[58:48]** So that's why in a shirk at a little moon. I'll be like even using that term like attributing a partner to Allah is a great transgression. It's a great transgression. So Allah has put in us. Certain seeds of morality. That sometimes even someone who's not Muslim will act upon those things and that's good and what you want to do is you want to. Help them refine that and. Build on the basis of that and sometimes it's those good qualities those good traits that help them to see the truth.

**[59:03]** Clearer because they're already motivated towards purpose they're motivated towards something else they're seekers and. The sincere seeker will end up at the truth sincerely right. So that's what I would say on that from a theological from a theological point of view. I want to actually add one thing over here. So this is actually springs from the philosophical principle on what makes good good versus what makes evil evil right. So is good good because Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala said it's good. So it became good or because it was originally good Allah subhana chose this to be good now.

**[59:18]** That's a philosophical question right. But for the believer. We don't make any difference why because Allah is a creator of everything subhanahu wa'ta'ala and because he created everything subhanahu wa'ta'ala. There is no such thing as as absolute evil. Even evil is relative which means as Allah says in the Quran wa asan takra shay'an. You might dislike something wajah love you. I think I think Allah will make so much good that comes out out of it. Subhanahu wa'ta'ala so therefore there is no such thing as pure evil over here.

**[59:33]** Just like there's no there's something I'd like to say pure good in that context over here. That's from a philosophical point of view the other thing even to me rahimahullah that he comments on this. He has a whole book on the subject. Darut a'radu al-aql wa al-naql. There is no such thing that contradicts the aql that is the the right reason the correct reason. With the authentic narration or the authentic ishara right. So if some people they uphold. Religious principles based on wahi.

**[59:48]** That would contradict what we know to be good because overall it's the good that Allah subhanaw. Taala has placed for us. Then their understanding of the wahi is wrong. It's not like the wahi is wrong their understanding of the wahi is wrong. And if some people they uphold they hold on to some reason or the intellectual let's say principle of goodness.

**[1:00:03]** That has something against in the Quran and Sunnah. I don't care how much they say this is the good thing to do. If it's not in the Quran the Sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ). Or contradicts I mean the Quran the Sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ) that that good that they perceive to be good is never good. So therefore. Like for example let's say if you want to talk about something from a. Legal point of view.

**[1:00:18]** Let's say capital punishment. For example the society over here consider this to be for example wrong and you know. You're ending the life of a person and you have no right to control that and so and so. But Allah in the Quran says. قَوَلَكُمْ فِي الْقِصَاصِ حَيَاةٌ. Capital punishment brings life. Which means a deterrence that protect other people's lives that could be harmed because some people don't see any punishment for doing so. So again from that point of view would say if they claim something to be virtuous.

**[1:00:33]** That is contradicting to what is considered to be also virtuous overall from the shari'ah and the aql point of view. Their understanding of the wahi is wrong. Not that the wahi is wrong. Wallahu ta'ala. I'm sure on that also like the application. Right the application of something that's even claimed to be virtue. So something like capital punishment the death penalty is now applied with all sorts of discrimination all sorts of false. Delineations and things of that sort. So even taking something in the name of virtue and making it something that of course that goes back again. If you leave it to man-made laws.

**[1:00:48]** So it's up to them how they're gonna dictate this is to be good or bad in Allah on a sister side inshallah. As-salamu alaykum. My question is about dealing with a close family member like a parent who constantly points out others faults avoids accountability. And puts conditions on reconciliation. How can I deal with them in a way that protects my own heart while still trying to maintain. Ahsan and how can I help someone like that grow without enabling the behavior.

**[1:01:03]** So I didn't hear the whole question. But dealing with the parent who points out the flaws of other people so basically a parent who is. Who's backbiting who's I didn't I couldn't make out the whole question to be honest with you but if I understand correctly. Dealing with the parent who scrutinizes others. How can you maintain your your connection to that parent while still. Helping them grow away from that habit. Is that what the question is. Okay I'm gonna assume that's what the question is.

**[1:01:18]** Look the main thing when you're dealing with a parent that is. Indulging certain attitudes behaviors especially when they're elderly. There's nothing wrong with correcting them. It's just about what how do you correct them. What's the best way to correct them. Sometimes the best way is to just change the subject just keep changing the subject over and over and over again until they get the. Message that you just don't like. Talking about people and you really don't you don't enjoy that type of indulgence right. So to do something to turn them away now see how is meant to be delivered in the most effective way.

**[1:01:33]** It's like you know Hasan Hussein may Allah be pleased with them both. They had this incident where there was an old man that was making wudu wrong. So they wanted to teach the old man how to make wudu. But. Neither of them felt comfortable going and showing the old man how to make wudu. So what they did is they staged an argument about wudu in. Front of the man so that he got the point. Right so one of them correcting the other. So if it's hard for you to confront them directly then think of indirect ways for you to register your.

**[1:01:48]** Your disagreement with that type of behavior and. Think of ways to shift conversations to change things around. But again if you find the moment you know where you can talk to your parents outside of a way that's combative. You're not challenging their authority but you're expressing your own discomfort. As a rule of thumb anytime you're gonna you're gonna point out something like that to a parent. You know if you've got to have like three disclaimers. Qualifications of praise when you're talking to a friend you got to have like 30 of them when you're talking to a parent to.

**[1:02:03]** Ensure that the respect is there and that I'm not in any way diminishing you as a parent or. Claiming that you raised me in such a horrible way or that you've been a poor example or challenging you. But out of love for you. I just want to point out maybe this maybe I'm misunderstanding you like you can use every qualifier. In the world to get that message across. In shallots are in the most effective way. She had a very important question. Inshallah. We close with this vanilla about self-awareness versus.

**[1:02:18]** Self-centeredness. It seems like the concept of self mastery is this very delicate balance of hyper self-awareness while avoiding being self-centered. We live in a society that self-care is synonymous with catering yourself or centering yourself. How do you clearly make that distinction. What are the checkpoints you can do during the day to help prevent you from centering yourself to the point of destruction. Like I want to be a self aware of my own mistakes and and my own flaws and working on myself. But I'm afraid that that might lead to become so self-centered so observed of myself.

**[1:02:33]** I lose the connection with the world around me. There are two things to that. Number one the premise of. Self-awareness and and purifying yourself. I mean I'd love to hear you actually weigh in on this. But I think that of the premise from an Islamic perspective is no other ball on a Samawati. Well I'll be the saying of even miss you. The only law and if Allah punished all of the people that the creation of the heavens and the earth. He would punish them and he wouldn't be bottom. He wouldn't be an oppressor towards them like that. We all have flaws.

**[1:02:48]** That we need to rectify in. Trying to connect to a perfect Lord that we're all imperfect beings connecting to a perfect Lord. Therefore the premise is that I have to work on myself. I have flaws. I have to I have to do this this engage in this. Mujahidah to Nafs this jihad enough this striving against the self to try to get it to the best place possible. Why while recognizing that Allah and his perfection. Will show his mercy and fill in the shortcomings and bring me to any level that I possibly can so.

**[1:03:03]** That all of us are deficient in some ways. And so all of us will have to have some level of struggle with the self in order to be there. I think what distinguishes Muslim. Self-care Islamic self-care from. The self-care that you hear about today is that you're trying to be the best version of yourself. Meaning the best to have the ball on the best slave of Allah and the best. The best brother or sister to your brothers and sisters the most capable.

**[1:03:18]** Servant of the people in that sense right. So the bettering of yourself is to make yourself. The most. Complete as a habit of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala and as a son as a daughter as a brother as a sister as a friend. Right to be there for people as well. So self-care is not to make yourself feel better. It's to make yourself the best version of yourself which has an impact on how you treat everybody else. Like there is no.

**[1:03:33]** There is no scenario in which my self. Improvement leads to my negligence of the other like that doesn't exist in a seat in a seerah paradigm. And how the Prophet (ﷺ) describes self mastery. In fact. If you look at the shaman of the Prophet (ﷺ) the things that we his. Characteristics and you were to take like a percentage how many of them deal with. The way that he mastered his character towards other people (ﷺ). It's the majority.

**[1:03:48]** Right that clearly the way that he was treating everyone lent itself. To a natural conclusion that he was someone I read (ﷺ) that was dedicated to mastering his existence. Right and becoming the best version of himself. So that's I think the premise of the question seems that as if we're living in a vacuum. You're not living by yourself in a bubble so you can't do that. You can't really just focus so much on yourself. A relevant to relationship to people around you and the world around you you are living in a.

**[1:04:03]** Very well connected. Life so if you want to master your skills of being self-centered in regards to being aware. Basically of your manners of lock and etiquette and so on. Okay. Think about this in relationship to dealing with your parents in relation to dealing with your community in relation to dealing with Allah subhana. Wataarish deal with that with your enemies with your friends with. And the visa some call out the cool of the hot and hot right here.

**[1:04:18]** We only focusing on 1% out of the you know. 100% of relations that we have to deal with when he says some car in the enough sick a lake. Ah your nuts has a hot on you. You're your Lord has a hot on you. Well the only car like a hot a family has a right on you. Even he said what is our ikka like a hot guy even your guests they have a hot on you. So in the process of refining our character ourself it's not really just living in a vacuum like it's just become an abstract thing.

**[1:04:33]** There is no such thing as being a perfect human being in an abstract world. No you're a human being in a very well connected world and society. So you're gonna have to think about perfecting your o'clock and your manager etiquette in relations to all these. Elements of your life. So it reminds me of the Hadith alludy you hardly to NASA. Yes but I'm kind of an ally to NASA. Yes. Who mixes with the people and. Tolerates the hardship of mixing with the people is better than the one who avoids the people and does not tolerate their hardship.

**[1:04:48]** What does that mean. Now when someone says you know I'm sick of people. I'm just gonna sit at home. I'm just gonna worship Allah minute forget about the masjid forget about good forget about all these efforts of good. Everyone's messed up. I don't feel like dealing with people. Everyone's a headache. I'm just gonna worship Allah do my own thing come to Salah and that's it. That's not the best way the Prophet. So I said I'm saying I love you Holly to NOS the one who mixes with the people the one who engages with the. People and deals with the headache of the people gets twice the reward because that's how you sharpen your tools.

**[1:05:03]** It's like that animal in the zoo that looks like a really bad animal until you throw it into the jungle. All right it's not gonna be able to hold itself. Like those lions look amazing in the zoo put it with real lions now after it's been in the zoo. It's not gonna be able to handle itself anymore. Like you sharpen those characteristic you sharpen those traits. When you're actually mixing with the elements where you can sharpen those traits that's where you. And the summary to all of this is sort of the loss of it.

**[1:05:18]** Let me know I'm in a solid height or the loss of a hot water was a bus sub except those who have faith. Act upon it with good deeds and then they also they enjoy other people to do the same. They say we work with each other what the loss of a sub they have to persevere in patience because doing that gonna. Cause a lot of troubles so you have to refine your qualities your o'clock your traits. Within that complexity of the society not in a vacuum or an abstract world. Well I hope that is that Malacca inshallah. I don't think as notice. I remember that tomorrow.

**[1:05:33]** I'm sure a lot of Tala is our final session. You guys know that. Wow I mean we already there. Tomorrow's gonna be our final session my last time with Baraka and the separate Arab and I mean. We ask Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to make us more than those who benefit from what they learn. And then that was beneficial to them. You're a bit I mean we ask Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to show us that which is right and make it easy for us to follow. It and now which is wrong and stay away from it.

**[1:05:48]** We ask Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to guide our heart to that which most pleasant to me. I don't know I mean and to accept our Ramadan for us here. I mean we ask Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to protect us protects our communities. You're a bit I mean and the way we all got in this place. We ask Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala to bring us together in Jannatul Firdaus Al Aala. With the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ).

**[1:06:03]** Assalamu alaikum.

## Other Episodes in "Midnight Majlis"
- [Loving the People Who Remember Allah | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 7](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep7-loving-the-people-who-remember-allah.md)
- [The Beauty of the Light of Allah | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 5](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep5-the-beauty-of-the-light-of-allah.md)
- [Leave Your Nafs Behind and Come to Allah | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 6](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep6-leave-your-nafs-behind-and-come-to-allah.md)
- [Freeing Yourself From Other Than Allah | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 4](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep4-freeing-yourself-from-other-than-allah.md)
- [Allah Will Love You For Your Dhikr | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 3](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep3-allah-will-love-you-for-your-dhikr.md)
- [Your Dhikr Makes You Beautiful | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep. 2](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep2-your-dhikr-makes-you-beautiful.md)
- [When Your Heart Makes Dhikr | Midnight Majlis S2 Ep1](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/midnight-majlis-s2-ep1-when-your-heart-makes-dhikr.md)
- [Getting Past A Grudge | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/getting-past-a-grudge-midnight-majlis.md)
- [How to Become A Great Person | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/how-to-become-a-great-person-midnight-majlis.md)
- [How to Spot Fake Friends | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/how-to-spot-fake-friends-midnight-majlis.md)
- [Be Your Own Toughest Critic | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/be-your-own-toughest-critic-midnight-majlis.md)
- [When People Cause You Pain | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/when-people-cause-you-pain-midnight-majlis.md)
- [You Choose To Be Learned or Lost | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/you-choose-to-be-learned-or-lost-midnight-majlis.md)
- [Defeat Your Ego Before It Defeats You | Midnight Majlis](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/defeat-your-ego-before-it-defeats-you-midnight-majlis.md)
- [How to Break Free from Anxiety | Midnight Majlis | Dr. Omar Suleiman and Sh. Yaser Birjas](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/midnight-majlis/how-to-break-free-from-anxiety-midnight-majlis.md)