# How to Stop Chasing Validation | Snapshots with Imam Tom Facchine

**Author:** Tom Facchine
**Series:** Imam Tom Live
**Published:** 2025-07-17
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/ad8pU8yUaiM
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/imam-tom-live/how-to-stop-chasing-validation-snapshots-imam-tom
**Topics:** Politics & Practical Theology, Social Justice

## Description
Imam Tom Facchine sits down with Paul Williams from Blogging Theology for a conversation on truth, God, Christianity, liberalism, identity, and how Islam reframes it all.

## Transcript
**[0:00]** Another consequence of today's social media culture is that many of us are constantly seeking validation from other people. And we demonstrate this by what we post. If you're looking through the comments of the things that you post or that other people post about you or for you,

**[0:19]** then you're probably seeking some sort of validation, right? Very few people are really just curious or they're there to see some feedback or whatever. No, you're looking for validation or you're not confident in yourself or what you're doing is right. You want other people to express that they like you or they like what you're doing.

**[0:34]** This is a very unfortunate trap that people get into because it keeps you relating to the creation when in reality you should be relating to the Creator. In fact, you know, there's many stories like the story of Nasruddin Hoja and the donkey. You ride on the donkey and then people are going to criticize you for it.

**[0:49]** Then you walk beside the donkey, people are going to criticize you for it. At the end of the story, Hoja, he carries the donkey himself and then people are really laughing at him, right? But the point of the story is you will never please people, ever. Seeking other people's approval is a fool's errand because at the end of the day,

**[1:05]** especially when you're at the end of your life, especially when you're in the Day of Judgment facing Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, the only approval that's going to matter is His. That all of the people that you looked for their validation and God forbid you let that validation push you into something haram,

**[1:20]** those people aren't going to be there for you. Their support is going to be gone. You're only going to be with yourself in front of Allah 'Azza wa Jal. You're never really secure, right? It puts you in a state of anxiety because that validation, even if you get it once, let's say you get all the validation you want once.

**[1:35]** What about next time? What about next time? It's always a moving target. Whereas if you relate to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, that's the only actual thing that's going to bring you peace and satisfaction. To know that you're doing the best that you can with your Lord. Yes, you have mistakes. Yes, you have shortcomings.

**[1:50]** Yes, you sin. I sin. We all sin. We are sinners, not the movie. We are actual sinners. We need Allah's forgiveness. We need to make repentance every day, all the time. But if you're pursuing His approval, at least you can have that sort of confidence in yourself

**[2:05]** and weight in yourself that you're not going to be blown by the wind to the left or to the right if these people are angry at you or these people have validated you. I was, man, one time I was in a car with somebody and somebody started praising me for some of my work and I was already like, man, this is kind of awkward.

**[2:20]** I really don't like this. But the terms that they used to praise me made me actually like laugh and be grateful that Allah exposed this to me because the person said, you say everything that I believe. And he was like praising me through that.

**[2:35]** And I was just like, huh, what's going to happen when I don't? What's going to happen when I say something that you don't like? That this is a really silly thing to say to somebody and it's a silly way to relate to somebody and it would be even sillier or the silliest thing if I were to put stock in that person's opinion of me

**[2:50]** when in reality they're just looking at me to validate the opinions that they have. So we have to make sure that, you know, what's right is not always popular and what's popular is not always right. That we have to really take care to primarily relate to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala

**[3:06]** and strive our best to do what's pleasing to Him and to insulate ourselves as much as possible from the effects of looking for other people or looking towards other people for validation. And this is not the same as taking shura or consultation or having mentors or things like that.

**[3:23]** That's all good. But we don't, especially with the masses, especially on social media, looking for validation there is only a recipe for disaster.

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