# Ep 12: Overcoming Setbacks | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter **Author:** Dr. Tesneem Alkiek **Series:** Habits to Win Here and Hereafter **Published:** 2022-01-20 **YouTube:** https://youtu.be/DitTX9h2YaM **URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep12-overcoming-setbacks-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter **Topics:** General Psychology, Psychology & Mental Health ## Description When the going gets tough and things inevitably fall through the cracks, it’s how we respond to those challenges that will develop our resilience and boost our growth. Here are two things that will help us weather those storms: the Prophet’s ﷺ advice and creating stretch and backup goals. Mistakes... ## Transcript **[0:00]** No matter how hard you try, sometimes things will inevitably fall through the cracks. That's life. If we had the recipe for a perfect routine, we'd basically be robotic. Being human means not only making mistakes, but also experiencing setbacks. It's how we respond to these challenges that makes us stronger individuals. **[0:17]** So, sometimes you'll have the perfect schedule and routine. You even consistently hold yourself accountable and follow things to a T. But things will still fall through the cracks. And in these situations, if your intentions are right, it's time to move past the setbacks and persist in your good habits. The Prophet, salallahu alayhi wasalam, per usual, gave some of the most **[0:42]** relevant advice in this regard. He said, stick to what benefits you. Meaning keep to your good habits. Seek help from Allah and don't give up. When things get tough, ask for Allah's help and weather the storm. **[1:00]** And if or when something sets you back, don't say, man, if only I had done something else instead, XYZ would have happened. Rather, say that whatever Allah has decreed will happen. **[1:19]** Because if only opens a door to the deeds of Shaitaan. The reality is, things will afflict you. Not if, but when they do, remember the words of the Prophet and keep your head up high. And most importantly, don't look back with regret wishing you had done something else. Because if you've incorporated good habits with the right intention, challenges **[1:37]** that come your way push you to do even better, not to discourage you from continuing. So, see it as a challenge to pause and rethink. I did what I did. Is there anything I can do next time around to prepare me better? And over time, you'll naturally experience some of the **[1:52]** most common setbacks. And as a result, you'll get used to having backup routines ready. Think of it as your backlog. You're just getting your extra equipment ready and in place for the next time things don't go as planned. The key to being able to do this without getting turned off is by not discounting the little. What you want to focus on is creating a chain reaction of good **[2:12]** feeling. What happens when you face a setback, say you didn't have time to get one of your main tasks done for the day because, for example, you got sick or had to run a last minute errand. What happens is that you've disrupted that chain of feeling accomplished. And you think to yourself, **[2:27]** man, that threw off my whole day. What's the point of getting the next thing done? And then the negative lack of motivation seeps into the rest of your day. So what's the solution? Create stretch goals and backup goals. Say, for example, you want to memorize Quran. You know from experience that you have the capacity to memorize two lines every single day. **[2:46]** But on good days, you can almost double it to four lines. That's your stretch goal. One line, on the other hand, is your backup goal. You know that even on your most exhausting days, memorizing one line of Quran is manageable. In fact, for your standards, it's easy. **[3:02]** Plan your day, every day, to meet that two-line standard. Days you're feeling great, bump it up to four lines because you can and because you know it will produce an even greater sense of reward. And for those days that you don't feel so hot, things come up, life happens, fall back on your easy, manageable goal of just one line a day. Because what will happen is that rather than not **[3:22]** meeting your goal at all, you've prepared a backlog of what to do when things get tough, still manage to check the task off your list, and most importantly, trigger a sense of accomplishment. And just like that, when faced with a setback, you've managed to reroute your day and still achieve your goals. Rather than let it hold you back and ruin the rest of your day, **[3:40]** you've confronted a challenge and responded in a prophetic manner. You persisted, relied on God, and came out a stronger person on the other side. ## Other Episodes in "Habits to Win Here and Hereafter" - [Ep. 16: Overcoming Procrastination | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep16-overcoming-procrastination-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 15: How to Sleep Better | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep15-how-to-sleep-better-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 14: Know the Value of Time | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep14-know-the-value-of-time-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 13: Take Care of Your Body | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep13-take-care-of-your-body-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep 11: Nothing Is Going as Planned | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep11-nothing-is-going-as-planned-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep 10: Take Advantage of Barakah | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep10-take-advantage-of-barakah-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep 9: Getting in The Zone | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep9-getting-in-the-zone-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 8: Plan Ahead with Block-scheduling | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep8-plan-ahead-with-block-scheduling-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 7: Training Your Brain to Focus | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep7-training-your-brain-to-focus-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 6: How to Start Your Day Right | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep6-how-to-start-your-day-right-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 5: Forming a Sustainable Habit | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep5-forming-a-sustainable-habit-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 4: True Productivity | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep4-true-productivity-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 3: Live Life with No Regrets | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep3-live-life-with-no-regrets-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 2: What Motivates You? | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep2-what-motivates-you-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Ep. 1: Know Your Purpose | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/ep1-know-your-purpose-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md) - [Trailer | Habits To Win Here and Hereafter](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/habits-to-win/trailer-habits-to-win-here-and-hereafter.md)