# Getting Shot Was My Wake-Up Call | Iman Cave

**Author:** Sh. Abdullah Oduro
**Series:** Iman Cave
**Published:** 2025-09-21
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/03LqG9r8L-M
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/getting-shot-was-my-wake-up-call-iman-cave
**Topics:** Allah, Faith, Family & Community, Marriage

## Description
Who's holding you accountable for your goals this Ramadan? Sh. Abdullah Oduro shares how men can build strong bonds during Ramadan, from working out together and breaking fast as a group, to calling each other out and pushing each other to be better. Faith isn’t a solo journey, it's built with the...

## Chapters
- 0:00 Meeting at the Gun Range (Intro + Safety Talk)
- 2:50 Growing Up in War-Torn Iraq & Losing My Father
- 7:15 Why Young Men Seek Danger
- 9:05 Selling Vapes at 15… and the Night I Got Shot
- 15:50 Gun to My Head
- 19:25 Hospital Discharge, Ego Lessons & Rethinking My Path
- 21:55 From Atheism Back to Islam
- 29:15 What I’d Tell My Late Father Today
- 31:20 Protecting & Providing

## Transcript
**[0:01]** The Qur'an and Sunnah My name is Zuhair, I'm 20 years old, and this is my story about how I came back to Islam.

**[0:31]** Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. As-salamu alaykum. Zuhair, how's it going, man? Alhamdulillah, good to see you. Good to see you too, man. Likewise. Shaykh, this is my friend Omar. Omar, wa alaykum. How are you? How's it going, soldier? How was the ride? I'm good, I'm good. It was good, it was good.

**[0:46]** If I was to like climb this hill, what would happen? You'd get shot. Oh. Yeah. Okay. That's definitely something that we don't want to do. Okay, okay. Definitely, definitely. And for that reason, I mean, we got Omar here to kind of show us how not to get shot.

**[1:02]** Absolutely. And it's important to be responsible, man. I mean, especially there's a lot of misconceptions, but as long as one's responsible. When did you start doing this? When did y'all start doing this? Alhamdulillah, I was about 18, 19 years old. Then how did you exhibit responsibility with it? Wallahi, Shaykh, when I got my first firearm, I was already moved out of the house.

**[1:20]** Okay. So there really wasn't much of like, you know, freaking out about it. It was more of just the concern of like, hey, I want to make sure that if you do have this, you are staying safe and knowing what to do with it. And our biggest concern, you know, especially growing up in Iraq, was, you know, like anger, right?

**[1:39]** Anybody can get angry and because they're so angry, go and take the first thing they see, which in my case would happen to be a firearm, and go and do something unthinkable, right? Right. Yeah, life in Baghdad, I was very young at the time that I was there. So I don't have the most vivid memories, but I do remember some issues kind of popping up here and there.

**[1:59]** In Iraq, there was a civil war between the two religious sects. And I remember that having, you know, some influence on my early life and also the passing of my biological father kind of early on into my life as well. And you know, it's interesting within our tradition, within Islam in general,

**[2:16]** you know, the Apostle Sulayman, he mentioned, he said, He said, And this shows the importance of skill and of strength even. But the strength is where it can be kind of tricky when a young man has it, you know,

**[2:34]** sometimes you have to recognize that you have to be responsible with this. There's also a lot of strength and restraint. That's a good point. That's a good point. A strong person is somebody who can control his anger. Nice. Because you have the ability to, you know, cause harm or do something and retaliate.

**[2:49]** Doesn't mean that you're a strong person for that. He said, The harsh one is not the one that can wrestle, but he's the one that can control themselves in times of anger. So strength against yourself. Let's go over these rules, man.

**[3:04]** These four, what are the rules? What are the guidelines of being responsible with these firearms? As far as the four cardinal rules of firearm safety goes, Number one is always treat a firearm as if it's loaded, regardless of whether or not you know the firearm is empty.

**[3:19]** Number two, your finger, your trigger finger is staying off the trigger until you're ready to shoot. Right. So if you notice, my finger is on the side of this, of the rail. Okay. Number three, whatever you're pointing at, you intend to destroy. Right. Ultimately, this is a very destructive tool.

**[3:37]** And now number four, finally, is check what's beyond your target. What's behind the target that you're aiming at? We always want to make sure that whatever's behind that wall is something that we're okay with, you know, shooting in that direction of. But ultimately, those are the four cardinal rules of firearm safety.

**[3:53]** But otherwise, you guys are good to go, insha'Allah. If you guys need me, I'll be in the area, insha'Allah. Sounds good. Okay. Appreciate you. Good luck, man. Thank you. Nice lesson. Nice lesson. The big reason of why I started carrying around a firearm or buying them is for protection, right? So really, when I got married, that was when I first really started looking into getting firearms and being trained and using them.

**[4:12]** So not only can I protect myself, but my wife, if it ever came down to it. Yeah. So it was an aspect of responsibility. Absolutely. What kind of, like, how did you grow up in the household? How was it? Man, honestly, it was, it was a little challenging at times, of course.

**[4:28]** You know, growing up during especially the Iraq civil war, that was a little bit of a difficult time. I remember a couple of times when my mom came in and pretty much took us up to the roof where, you know, we could hide in this little type of closet situation.

**[4:43]** Because there was people who, you know, knew, oh, this Sunni family lives here. Let's go in and let's, let's kill them. Right? No, no, no, no. Just, just hold on. How old were you? At that time, I think I was about four, five years old.

**[5:00]** And this is, this is what, this is what bugs me a lot of times, you know, we have to remember that, you know, we'll see brothers in the masjid, they're smiling and they're young. You're 20, man. Yeah, Alhamdulillah. Tech sales, 20, been doing tech sales for six years, five years. Five years. Since 15.

**[5:15]** Since 15. And you went through, I mean, hearing this is not, you know, new. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's amazing how you'll see a brother and he's smiling, but you don't realize he's going, he's going through that in his life or he's went through that in his life. Yeah. And you're raised with, you know, with that and being raised by your mom.

**[5:32]** And where was dad in this, in this, in all of this? Man, wallahi, my dad passed away when I was very young because of that Iraqi civil war. You know, when it comes to like the Sunnis and Shias, he was on, you know, obviously the Sunni side because he was a Sunni and Sunnis are a minority in Iraq.

**[5:51]** Shias are the majority. So they knew what his car was. They knew where he lived. They targeted him and they put an IED under his car. What's an IED? Explosive device. Yeah, yeah. Allah yarhamuh. May Allah have mercy on him. Ameen. Ameen.

**[6:06]** When you heard about it, how old were you when you heard about it? Man, I was very young. I don't know how old exactly I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I remember the first vivid memory I had of it was I was cleaning a portrait that we had of him that was hung up on the ceiling. SubhanAllah. I was cleaning that and my mom told me, why are you cleaning it?

**[6:23]** And I was like, oh, because he's going to get home any second. And I vividly remember her like starting to tear up. Wow. Because she said he's not going to get home. And that was when I really first vividly got that memory of, oh, something happened to him. He's not going to be coming back home. SubhanAllah.

**[6:38]** May Allah have mercy on him. Ameen. Ameen. Ameen. I was confused on why a lot of things were happening in the house that were going on. Like the house is supposed to be the one place that you come back to and feel recharged, rejuvenated, whatever the case may be.

**[6:57]** But coming back and having a place that's not really the best for you mentally was very exhausting to the point where you didn't want to be in the house. And just naturally you'd start rebelling or start doing other things like that.

**[7:12]** Thinking about, you know, that sadness, sometimes that fear. And then, you know, you're holding a firearm, bro. Yeah. And having that responsibility. Yeah. Because sometimes you'll see that young men, they thrill seek through this.

**[7:27]** Why do you think, and even if you've experienced it in your young age. Yeah. That men seek thrill through particularly aggression, maybe even firearms, all the time. Honestly, the way that I like to view it is control.

**[7:43]** There is an aspect of that uncertainty or the aspect of that danger that they're able to control. That's deep. And that's why we always ask Allah to guide our shabab because there's that. Ameen. There's that ishti'al, there's that fire, there's that risk, that thrill seeking.

**[7:59]** But subhanAllah, particularly as a Muslim man, like guiding it together and knowing that, you know, I'm here to please Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and I know He's watching me. So I have to be responsible with this. Absolutely. That's very, very important. Absolutely.

**[8:22]** So let's go check out our, my bullseye. Let's go see how we did. I know it's only going to be one hole for me because it's going to be all those shots in the same hole. Ma'ruf. You're too good, Shaykh. All right, let's check out my James Bond. You know what I'm saying?

**[8:37]** 007. All right. That. Nice, nice, nice. All through the same hole. Yeah, this is from somebody else, obviously. Ma'ruf, ma'ruf, ma'ruf. See, I had to see with my own eyes to believe it. I've heard about the legends, but I haven't heard the truth. Allahu ustaadh, Allahu ustaadh.

**[8:52]** We should write Shaykh under it. Shaykh, exactly. Because you got your sub is Shaykh Karim Ayaan. Masha'Allah, masha'Allah. I was shooting at that steel target. Let's go see. Let's go check that out, man. So look, man, if you don't mind, man, what with the death of your father, rahimahullah ta'ala. Rahimahullah.

**[9:07]** That trauma. How did you deal with that trauma and pull through and maintain your deen and, you know, be religious, for lack of better words, and practice your deen? Honestly, man, it didn't help me. You know, I wasn't. Yeah, I wasn't really practicing. You know, when I first came to the United States, after a little bit of time,

**[9:26]** after really just seeing the culture and seeing everything here, I decided to go and transition over to atheism. So you became an atheist. Yeah, Muslim, became an atheist, and now, alhamdulillah, with the guidance of Allah, became Muslim again.

**[9:43]** I think what really made me initially start moving away from Islam was the kind of instability in the household. And just because there was a big instability in the household, there was a want to want to rebel, right?

**[10:00]** To go do something that's going to make the person who you're angry at upset, right? You want to be petty, you want to get back whichever way you can. I think my first introduction towards being an atheist was being around people with that mindset through just school.

**[10:17]** Not even friends that I hung out with necessarily, like, you know, coming back home on the bus, forced to sit next to these people. So you're going to build a relationship with them, whether it's like a friendship or just an acquaintance, but they're going to put their ideas on you.

**[10:34]** And so I remember listening to them and kind of thinking that they made sense. And that was really the first introduction that I had gotten. What I think atheism gave me, at least in my mind at the time, was freedom. Because the way that I had viewed Islam and the religion as a whole, really all religions as a whole,

**[10:52]** but primarily Islam because I grew up with it, was that it was nothing but kind of a cult, right? Where you followed a whole bunch of rules for no reason. Everything was forbidden for no good reason. And it just felt like I couldn't do anything. So your father, your father passed away, was murdered.

**[11:07]** Rahimahullah ta'ala. Rahimahullah. And from there to not believing in God, do you think that has something to do with it? I honestly think that, you know, growing up. I think that's you right there, man. Right in the middle. Yeah, yeah. Shaykh. I think growing up, it definitely had a little bit to do with it.

**[11:24]** But I think mainly it was because there wasn't that voice of authority in the house. So growing up, my relationship with my stepfather wasn't really the best at all. There would be multiple instances where, you know, I would try to kind of tell him that he was in the wrong, right?

**[11:43]** And just really be met with backlash, right? Never really understanding of, oh, yeah, maybe I did do something wrong. But just be met with backlash of, like, you're a little kid. Like, essentially, you're my son. Why are you telling me what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right?

**[12:00]** I'm the one who tells you what to do wrong and what to do right. And so I think that built a really, really, really big blockage between us, where it was just filled with resentment and hatred for each other. And that kind of took a toll on me being very young,

**[12:16]** where it made me dive into certain things that weren't Islamic at all or weren't really me at all. Just because the idea of Islam meant, like, following the same thing that he is following. Kind of going down that path originally was, I don't want to be associated with whatever he's associated with.

**[12:37]** Speaking of what you were doing, what were you doing? OK, so you're an atheist. You don't believe in God. Yes. You know, it's settled in your mind and, you know, a long time in your heart at that time. Yeah. What were you doing at that point in your life? Honestly, I was selling vapes.

**[12:55]** You were selling vapes? That's what I was doing. You know, I had a buddy who owned a vape shop. Yeah. And so I went to him, bought a little box from him and started selling it to other high schoolers. And I was doing it through social media apps.

**[13:10]** And because of that, I was kind of the head provider of the household. Because during that time, my stepdad and my mother had split from each other. So what came with that vape? So was it a certain lifestyle you started to live?

**[13:25]** For sure, man. Honestly, I was making a lot more money than I thought I would ever touch. It was going really well to where I ended up buying, like, this little sports car. And I love that thing. I modified it, started going fast in it, doing all this crazy stuff. We got like a Euro car back then. We used to call it the Euro. You drop it with the rims and sound system.

**[13:43]** Yeah. The natural characteristic that's within young men. Absolutely. If it's used in the wrong way, it could get to, like, vaping and racing. It could be very, very dangerous. But it's deep how you, you know, and I think that's a lot of young men, man. I mean, the absence of the father and then especially how he died.

**[14:00]** Let's be honest. There's no tangible answers as to why it happened. Absolutely. And if you don't get them immediately, believing is something you can't see, you can't feel. It's like, why? Yeah. Yeah. That's deep. That's deep as a young man.

**[14:15]** So let me ask you this, because, you know, was there danger around this? Because you're selling vapes. People knew your name got kind of big. Yes. Yes. Yes. From what I remember from like when you're selling drugs or people get jealous, bro.

**[14:30]** Of course. People get jealous and they can get deadly. Of course. Did you face that? Yeah. So. You did? Yeah. So it wasn't anything to do with jealousy. Surprisingly, I never took any business partners. I hate doing business with like other people, especially an illegal business.

**[14:45]** Yeah. And so I just kind of did it by myself. And I remember there was this one night where I was like, oh, this is my last delivery for the night. It was 1 a.m. There was guests, you know, that my mom knew. So they were at our house. I was going out making a couple of deliveries.

**[15:02]** There was one more delivery. Some guy hit me up on Snapchat. I was like, OK, this one is going to be my last one for the day. I go there. It's an apartment complex. And I don't know why, but I left my car in park and my e-brake up for some reason.

**[15:18]** And I never knew that. But I got there and there was these two people coming to the car. One of them had a hoodie on. I didn't think anything of it. And then after a little while, the guy who I was talking to on Snapchat, he reaches in to the car and tries to take the vape box.

**[15:37]** And so I instinctively reach back for it and I grab it out of his hand and I yank it back in the car. And so when that happens, he looks at me. I'm guessing he's frustrated. He gives me a little one piece. And so when that happens, the ego starts kicking in because you're like, oh, well, how could they do this to me?

**[15:54]** I'm this, this. Right. So I try to step out the car. When I try to step out the car to fight two people. For some reason, that's when the other one pulls out his gun and points it at me. And I was like, OK, yeah, I'll give you blah, blah, blah. I'll give you the vapes. And I remember vividly asking him, I was like, you're really going to shoot me over some vapes?

**[16:13]** And he was like, just give them to you and just give them to me. And so I grabbed it, the box, which was originally sitting now in the passenger seat. Yeah. Yeah. So I go reach over for it as I'm going to like fake giving it to him. When I reach over the middle where the e-brake and gear selector is, I drop the box.

**[16:32]** And this is by Allah, only by Allah. There is no way that I would have. I've tried to do this again in my own car. I can't do it. I can't do it. Wallahi, in a split of a second, I go take my car from park, put it in drive and take my e-brake and put it down.

**[16:47]** And then the gun was to my head originally. And so thinking that like, oh, I don't really want to die, of course. I move my arm up like this to try and move the gun out the way, kind of like push it up. And he ends up shooting and it goes into my elbow.

**[17:03]** I don't know if you can see it. This elbow? Yes. Yeah. Right here. Goes into my elbow right here and then comes out my arm right here. So right there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Alhamdulillah, it didn't hit any bone. It scratched and grazed my elbow, the elbow bone.

**[17:18]** But Alhamdulillah, it just went through straight flesh. So I was out of the hospital within about a couple hours, about three, four hours. But definitely the scariest experience I've had. And that was where it got dangerous. At the time that I was selling vapes and I had gotten shot, that the ego definitely played a big role in me getting shot.

**[17:36]** I could have just given him the box of vapes and been over and done with. But the ego said, you're going to let some dude say he robbed you? And that almost got me killed. The ego is what got me killed because the ego was so high and intense and it had so much control over me at that point to where I couldn't say, no, here you go.

**[17:54]** Here's $50 worth of vapes. I risked my life just so that guy can't say I robbed him. How did you get from there? Did you get to the hospital? No. So actually what happened afterwards was when I put my car in drive and I started taking off,

**[18:11]** the guy shot another time at the car. It hit the trunk. He shot again. My first thought was like, please don't hit my spine. I remember the bullet got caught in the trunk. So it didn't go past that. And I took a right out of the apartment complex.

**[18:26]** And I remember the first second I took that right, I felt something really, really warm just dripping everywhere. And that's when I knew that I was hit. And I had to stop the car because I really felt like I was going to pass out.

**[18:41]** And so I ended up calling my brother. And so when I called my brother, the first thing I told him was, hey, I got shot. It's like, what? It's like, hey, I got shot. I need you to come get me. I'm by this in this elementary. So he came and obviously, you know, he ended up jumping over the guests that we have.

**[19:00]** So every guest that was sitting down was like, what the heck is going on? So they ended up following him. Not knowing what happened. They see me in the car, like sitting there bleeding out. How old were you at this time? How old were you? I think around 15, 16, 15, 16 years old.

**[19:18]** Yeah, subhanAllah, I was really young. It's really, really young. So you mentioned it was moments later, not moments later, but much later. You went back to vaping. What caused you to transition and just to leave it like just to say, you know what, I'm done with this or you know what?

**[19:35]** I don't know if this is the right thing. Two parts. The first part was getting closer to Allah. And second part was not wanting to put up with an image that really wasn't me. Right. I'm not, you know, this head honcho, hard dude, you know, thug from the hood.

**[19:52]** I'm not right. I'm at the end of the day, I have a loving mother. I came from a place that wasn't the best of places during a time that wasn't the best of times. But alhamdulillah, Allah has provided me with an opportunity to come to a better place and come to a place

**[20:08]** that doesn't have any war and it has peace. So why do I need to maintain an image of this guy who's always ready to do this and that and, you know, this thug or whatever the case may be? When Allah provided me an opportunity to get out of exactly that. So I remember thinking, I don't really want to maintain an image that's not me.

**[20:26]** And I really don't want people to think of me or come to me and be like, oh, I know what he's doing now. Like, oh, you know, Zuhair is always going to be selling vapes or something like that. I more just wanted to disappear into the shadows and not maintain an image

**[20:41]** that I thought I had to maintain and really just be myself. So you mentioned you came back to the deen. I mean, subhanAllah, you evolved from,

**[20:59]** I mean, being a Muslim to an atheist, to a drug dealer. I don't put it that far. But that's how it's going to look, you know, but I mean, look, you know, you sold vapes, got shot and then you came back.

**[21:17]** Yeah. Unpack that, like how did you come back? What took place in your life that made you come back from that? I think it was a little bit of everything, a little bit of a couple of different parts. There was a lot of influence from social media, places like YouTube, stuff like that.

**[21:33]** And there was also a lot of influences of peers, people I was hanging around. Even though I called myself an atheist, I think deep, deep, deep down in my soul, in my heart, I knew that what I was doing was wrong and I felt guilty about it.

**[21:50]** I remember at the time I was watching some Muhammad Hijab, I believe. Yeah. And it made me realize like, oh, dang, what I'm doing is really wrong. And again, like I'm a true believer. And if you're especially if you're a Muslim beforehand,

**[22:06]** like there's the smallest, the smallest little thing in your heart that you know what you're doing is wrong. And because that thing is there, you're always going to feel some sort of guiltiness about it. I would say that's the seed that helped me get back to Islam after I had became an atheist.

**[22:25]** Why do I have this guilt if it's guilt on something that I don't believe? And so because of that, you know, that was able to lead me back into a path of like, oh, you know, let me at least see what these Muslims have to say about their own demonic book or demonic teachings.

**[22:44]** But that was kind of the initial path that I took. You know, with atheism, you don't really have a lot of friends. And if you do, they are not friends based off of solid foundations. Right. My experience coming back to the masjid was very beautiful, actually.

**[23:01]** And I remember just really coming back in and feeling the brotherhood. Other than that, it was really just a sense of peace, you know, like coming in, smelling the smell of the masjid and, you know, seeing the people and hearing the voice of the adhan and hearing the voice of the imam and hearing the voice of the reciter.

**[23:20]** And it was a place that, you know, felt welcoming and definitely that I wanted to come back to. And just from there, you know, taking the brotherhood and running with it was something that really helped me out a lot. Watching those videos coupled with the friends you mentioned, the brotherhood, how did that take place?

**[23:44]** I mean, because earlier you mentioned that, you know, those 20 friends that came to see you that were my friends, like use the past tense. So they were not the ones, they were not the brothers that, what, that embraced you along with them? So, yeah, I use that, that wording for a specific reason, because like,

**[24:01]** even though somebody shows up for you in your, in your, you know, in your time, when you're kind of in most in need or your worst time, it doesn't mean that they're always going to be there for you or that they have the best intentions of being there. Interesting. And so through time I realized that, okay, well, these people weren't pushing me towards the right path to begin with.

**[24:22]** You know, they were there the day after it happened, the day after I got shot, but what were they doing a week later? Oh, pushing me towards the same things. And so I started hanging around with my brother a little bit more. And he had a lot more friends that were closer to the deen.

**[24:38]** And just through seeing that brotherhood and like that bond and everybody pushing closer, pushing each other closer to the deen and competing with each other, in hasanat, when I saw that, I was like, I like that. And I want my friends to be people who I can trust if something bad happens or something like that.

**[24:55]** So I started hanging out with new people. And it's beautiful because the Prophet (ﷺ) said, And the individual is on the religion of his friends or ways or practices of his friends. فَلْيَنظُرْ أَحَدُكُم مَنْ يُخَالِلْ He said, then look, like you have to be observant and do an analysis and revise.

**[25:14]** Like, how is this person benefiting me in my life in regards to my goals? So it seems that when you're with your brother's friends, your older brother's friends, you mentioned they're competing for hasanat when the others are competing for, you know, the next watch or the next car, the next rims, whatever the case may be.

**[25:30]** You got shot in your elbow. You're alive and well. Absolutely. Right. So what did you learn? You learned from that? I mean, when you're going through this transition of being religious, quote unquote, I don't like to say that too much, but you're coming back to Allah. You're trying to be trying to be the best.

**[25:45]** Honestly, looking back at that now through the perspective and viewpoint of somebody who's getting closer to Allah is just that could have been so much worse. That could have completely changed the trajectory of my life.

**[26:00]** Alhamdulillah I didn't. Uh huh. Then I sold the car and went to Umrah. What do you remember about that first experience of Umrah? Oh, man, it was beautiful. I remember when I left the airport, I had somebody pick me up and drop me off straight to Masjid an-Nabawi because it was Fajr time.

**[26:17]** And so when I landed, I immediately went to Masjid an-Nabawi before seeing anything else. And I just remember seeing Masjid an-Nabawi like really kind of calm with nobody in there. Right. There wasn't as many people. The prayer had just or adhan had just been called. It was at a.m.

**[26:32]** There was not a lot of people there just yet. It just made me feel really at home, really like it was peaceful. The smelling the smells, especially that oud that made it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Masjid an-Nabawi oud. It smells amazing, masha'Allah.

**[26:47]** So it's just smelling that, seeing everybody and really just getting that tranquility and peace. Masha'Allah. Man, I remember the first moment to be in Mecca and salah were just really peaceful and beautiful. Coming back to salah and especially at a place like Masjid an-Nabawi was just so peaceful.

**[27:03]** Like. You know, I can I can only use words like peaceful and calm and things like that, but you really cannot explain the sensation that immediately fills you up when you're making salah.

**[27:18]** And Masjid an-Nabawi of all places, right after leaving salah for so many years and just recently coming back to Islam. It felt like your home, kind of like you've left home for a while, you're on a business trip, you're on a vacation or whatever, and you came back home and your mom was there to welcome you with a basket of fresh cookies.

**[27:36]** Like, that's exactly what it felt like. And that's the best that I can describe it. You're on your plane ride back, you get back. Did anything change internally, spiritually, mentally? No. So honestly, when I got back, I was just looking forward to being back home.

**[27:51]** That was the biggest thing, which is crazy not to say. But I was looking forward to being back home just because I had missed the everyday things that I was used to. Right. Yeah. But then, Alhamdulillah, I ended up moving out and living with a friend for a little bit, like a month after.

**[28:07]** OK. Living with a friend. And then after six months of that, Alhamdulillah, I got my own apartment, got married about a month after getting my own place. And now, Alhamdulillah, I've been married for a little bit and have my own place in Dallas. Wow, so you've grown, man.

**[28:22]** Yeah, yeah. 20 years old. 20, masha'Allah. So, you know, when I was, I remember when I was in Ghana and it was 2017, I'm looking at my father's coffin. Died at 67. Allah yarhamuh. Yeah. Your father, rahimahullah ta'ala, you never got a really chance to, never really got a chance to speak with him, to him.

**[28:43]** What would you, what would you, there's two things. How do you want to live your life in a way that you think or you would want him to be happy with you? And if he was there after you made Umrah, what would you tell him?

**[29:05]** Oh, that's a good question. Honestly, I think the way he would have wanted me to live my life is being a, what we spoke about earlier, somebody who could protect and somebody who could provide. Because those are honestly, in my opinion, the two essence of being a man. Masha'Allah.

**[29:20]** You're a protector and you're a provider. Yeah. Right. So if I could show him that, like, you know, I got married at 20 and Alhamdulillah, I am a protector. I protect my wife. I could protect my mom. I could protect my brother, whoever. You're a protector. His wife.

**[29:35]** Exactly. I could protect her if it comes down to that situation. And also it's like, hey, I can also provide for them if it's financial, if it's emotional, whatever the case may be. I could be there and provide for them as well. And like I said, I think those are the two essence of being a man.

**[29:52]** And I think he would have shared the same opinion, especially being, you know, an Iraqi guy with traditional values. I'm sure he did. I think he would have been very proud of that. And that's a way that I can live my life that would honor him because I'm sure he lived that way. And from the stories I was told, he did.

**[30:07]** Masha'Allah. What I would have said to him after finishing Umrah that first time was honestly, like, this is because of you, right? Because I don't think we really understand how much fathers have an impact or like, you know, how much their children have an impact.

**[30:26]** I don't think we really understand how much fathers have an impact or like a role until you are much older and look back and realize, especially in a Muslim household where that kid has to have the love of Islam put into their heart at a very young age.

**[30:44]** It would be like I said, it would be a conversation of like, you helped me do this. Without you, I probably would not have been here. And that's beautiful, man, because whether you do it now or not, and this is something that I use at times is when I need to get motivated or need to make sure I have my momentum is still there or to accelerate as I think about him.

**[31:09]** Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like right now, you said you're providing for your wife, you're providing. And I want to say this, what you're providing for your wife, his wife. Yeah. Right. You're providing and you're protecting them. And that's when we're talking about, you know, being in the gun range. You think of protection, honor, protecting the innocent, the weak.

**[31:25]** You know, the Prophet (ﷺ) said, he said, I place the severe burden on the two weak ones, the women and the orphans. So being that you're standing up at 20 years old, man, masha'Allah, with a career, with some vision, with some ambition, you know, it makes you more responsible.

**[31:46]** And that's why even with the thrill of being in the gun range, you're responsible with that. Going through those trials and tribulations and tests, Allah giving you chances, man. Alhamdulillah, you're still here to even talk about your father. You know what I'm saying? We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to keep you firm.

**[32:03]** And to make you an example for those youth that are out there and they're confused and they're in darkness and that don't know a way out, like really don't know a way out. Jazakallah khair. Barakallahu fik. Wa alaikum salam. Wa alaikum salam.

## Other Episodes in "Iman Cave"
- [How To Be The Man Your Community Needs | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/how-to-be-the-man-your-community-needs-iman-cave.md)
- [To Live and Die as a Man | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/to-live-and-die-as-a-man-iman-cave.md)
- [Brotherhood in Ramadan | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/brotherhood-in-ramadan-iman-cave.md)
- [Lead Your Family this Ramadan | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/lead-your-family-this-ramadan-iman-cave.md)
- [Overcoming Obesity and Depression | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/overcoming-obesity-and-depression-iman-cave.md)
- [Is Gender a Social Construct? | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/is-gender-a-social-construct-iman-cave.md)
- [Our communities are broken. Here’s how to fix them | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/how-one-man-is-inspiring-black-youth-through-s-iman-cave.md)
- [Motivation is Overrated. Here's Why | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/motivation-is-overrated-heres-why-iman-cave.md)
- [From Orphaned Parents in Africa to Changing Lives for Orphans | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/from-orphaned-parents-in-africa-to-changing-lives-for-orphans-iman-cave.md)
- [Significance of the Sacrifice | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/significance-of-the-sacrifice-iman-cave.md)
- [Raw Truths for Divorced Dads | Part 3 | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/raw-truths-for-divorced-dads-part-3-iman-cave.md)
- [Raw Truths for Men: Uncensored | Part 2 | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/raw-truths-for-men-uncensored-part-two-iman-cave.md)
- [UFC Fighter Abdul-Kareem Al-Selwady is Unbreakable | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/ufc-fighter-abdul-kareem-al-selwady-is-unbreakable-iman-cave.md)
- [Divorce: Problem or Solution? | Part 1 - Before Marriage | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/divorce-problem-or-solution-part-one-before-marriage-iman-cave.md)
- [Arrested for What!? | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/arrested-for-what-iman-cave.md)
- [Bravery, Tawakkul, and Risking it all for Allah | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/bravery-tawakkul-and-risking-it-all-for-allah-iman-cave.md)
- [Overcoming Addictions | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/overcoming-addictions-iman-cave.md)
- [Focus in the Age of Distraction | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/focus-in-the-age-of-distraction-iman-cave.md)
- [Why Me? | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/why-me-iman-cave.md)
- [Confidence through Combat Sports | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/confidence-through-combat-sports-iman-cave.md)
- [Masculinity through Allah's Names | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/masculinity-through-allahs-names-iman-cave.md)
- [Mentorship, Purpose, and Contentment | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/mentorship-purpose-and-contentment-iman-cave.md)
- [Mother's Strength, Father's Prayers: Success through Struggle | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/mothers-strength-fathers-prayers-success-through-struggle-iman-cave.md)
- [Husain Abdullah's Sajdah that Broke the NFL | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/husain-abdullahs-sajdah-that-broke-the-nfl-iman-cave.md)
- [Discipline: Who Are You When No One's Watching? | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/discipline-who-are-you-when-no-ones-watching-iman-cave.md)
- [Lead with Integrity | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/leading-with-integrity-iman-cave-with-sheikh-abdullah-oduro.md)
- [Sami Hamdi's Path to Purpose | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/sami-hamdis-path-to-purpose-iman-cave.md)
- [Series Trailer | Iman Cave](https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/iman-cave/series-trailer-iman-cave.md)