# Am I A Jealous Person? | Dear Ustadha

**Author:** Ustadha Lobna Mulla
**Series:** Dear Ustadha
**Published:** 2025-01-28
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/LVTPa8oj6kQ
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/dear-ustadha/am-i-a-jealous-person-dear-ustadha
**Topics:** Family & Community

## Description
Allah has blessed us all differently, but seeing someone enjoy a specific blessing that you don’t have can create feelings of jealousy and even resentment towards Allah. So what should we do when we feel jealous? Ustadha Lobna Mulla explains the benefits of making du’a for others who have what you...

## Transcript
**[0:00]** Am I really a jealous person? Dear Ustadha, it feels like everyone around me is getting married, having kids or moving up in their careers. I'm struggling to be happy for them when I'm just stuck where I am. How do I get over my jealousy? You know, first I think it's really important to acknowledge that it is really tough to be the only one amongst your friends or sometimes your family.

**[0:20]** And you're the only one that's not getting married. You're going to all these baby showers, you're going to these weddings, you're watching people post on Instagram that they're, you know, that they just got promoted or they're getting into this program and you really feel stuck. That can be really hard. So how do you prevent those feelings from jealousy entering your heart?

**[0:36]** You love those people. You don't want to feel angry towards them or worse, angry towards Allah. So what's the best thing to do? The best thing to do, of course, when you see something that somebody else has or a situation that they're in and you wish that you can be in that situation, make du'a for them.

**[0:51]** Then make du'a for yourself. And I know you're saying, look, I've been making du'a, the same one for years. How can I keep still making du'a? Why should you still make du'a? Because Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala loves to hear when you're repetitive in your du'as.

**[1:06]** He doesn't get tired of it. You might be getting tired of it, but He doesn't. And when you acknowledge that this is a test for you, that, okay, the fact that I want to have a partner and I don't have a partner or I want to have children and I don't have children or I want to get a job and I can't find a job.

**[1:22]** When you find yourself feeling those feelings of jealousy creep into your heart, the best thing to do is to stop and make du'a for that person. Why? Because when you make du'a for somebody and they're not around you, the angels will say ameen to that du'a for that person and they will make a similar du'a for you. That's absolutely beautiful.

**[1:39]** Every single time that you are making du'a, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is answering it for you, even though you don't see it. It may come to you now, it may come to you in a different form, it may come to you in the form of good deeds on the Day of Judgment. The other thing that you can do when you're starting to feel overwhelmed with those feelings of jealousy is to really count your blessings.

**[1:57]** Say, you know what, alhamdulillah, I have time on my hands. I'm able to maybe start a project. I'm able to better myself in a certain way so that your mind doesn't go towards the things that make you jealous. And last but not least, sometimes it's really helpful to stay away from social media for a bit

**[2:14]** because those pictures, those lovey-dovey hand-holdings, those announcements, all of those things that you see, it can really become like daggers into your heart every time you see it. And it doesn't mean you're a bad person. It's normal. You don't have those things and seeing them over and over and over again and people smiling and laughing,

**[2:31]** it really just sometimes adds to your pain. And you will find that you'll have more time to count your blessings and feel better about your situation, in sha Allah.